


You Take Me To The Top

by Asukachan07



Series: WestAllen AUs [17]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Artistic Liberties, Co-workers to lovers, Drama, Endgame Barry Allen/Iris West, F/M, Fluff and Angst, How is this not a legit tag, Light BDSM, POV Multiple, Press and Tabloids, Rated E in last chapters, Slow Burn, Social Media, Title from an Imagine Dragons Song, West-Allen - Freeform, work friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 178,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23051848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asukachan07/pseuds/Asukachan07
Summary: From their not-so-humble beginnings at Central City High School to their recognition at award ceremonies, Barry Allen and Iris West rely on their steadfast professional relationship to escape family drama and tabloid scandals in a world where everything is politics and half of their fans want them to become a romantic couple, while the other half suspect that they already are.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Cisco Ramon, Barry Allen & Iris West, Barry Allen/Iris West, Linda Park & Iris West, Minor Barry Allen/Becky Cooper - Relationship, Minor Iris West/Tony Woodward
Series: WestAllen AUs [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1471967
Comments: 293
Kudos: 171





	1. Whatever It Takes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vani_vani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vani_vani/gifts), [Jennlee44](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennlee44/gifts).



> For swagstudentmilkshake5 too ❤️
> 
> It's another West-Allen WIP my friends, but the format is a bit different. Feedback is needed for me to move forward, please and thank you!
> 
> The work title and chapter titles are all from "Whatever It Takes" by Imagine Dragons. I'm ridiculously proud of that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco Ramon is just eighteen, but he believes he knows what's best for his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like most of my first chapters, this is mostly exposition. Hope you enjoy! Check out the end notes about the format of the fic. Please comment if you have constructive feedback for me!

**High School, Prom**

“They look so good together,” a voice says behind Cisco as he pours out what was supposed to be plain lemonade onto the soil of a potted plant, but he's detected a not so subtle hint of _alcohol_ inside.

“Who?” he absent-mindedly asks Linda Park as he tries to remember if he spotted any vending machine dispensing drinks inside the building rented for the school's prom dance.

“The queen and the king, who else?” Park replies before handing him a sealed bottle of Lipton, _bless._

“Of course they look good, that’s partly why they ended up _king and queen_ ,” he points out, teasingly correcting her on the order of importance.

There really is no order, but Barry Allen is Cisco Ramon’s best friend so he always comes first for him.

Iris West is similarly Linda Park’s bestie, and just like Ramon is the king's errand boy today, Park is the queen's errand girl. While their peers are enjoying prom in the ballroom two buildings over, the two of them are making sure that their friends, who are models for teenage magazines, stay hydrated during their hours-long photoshoots.

Don’t worry, Cisco and Linda are paid for it—stupidly well, in fact, that's the perks of working for people who love you back as hard as you love them.

“Are you wilfully ignoring the ‘together’ part?” Linda questions while she checks the time on her Motorola, and when she flips the cellular shut the clapping sound coincides with the shutter of the professional camera capturing the exceptional s̶e̶x̶u̶a̶l̶ ̶t̶e̶n̶s̶i̶o̶n̶ _chemistry_ between the prom king and queen.

And you bet that Cisco is ignoring the together part of Linda’s observation, because Barry Allen and Iris West are _not_ together.

Not that Cisco ever ruined his perfectly brushed hair to run after the students who spread around the rumor that the king of the nerds was tapping Miss Sunshine last fall. Rumors that died down after some drastic measures to disprove them were implemented. Becky Cooper is the endgame of such measures.

Speaking of Becky, where is the bitter reminder of Cisco’s greatest failure to protect his best friend's innocence?

Oh, _great,_ Cooper is already tipsy at the other end of the garden, clutching a plastic cup to her chest as she sways on her feet, standing right next to a bench that will hopefully catch her if she abruptly passes out (it has happened before at a party).

You wouldn't think that the false blonde is the lucky prom king's date, what with the way her face is contorted in misery and contempt. Her eyes are sharp on her boyfriend and the girl everyone at CC High thinks is a better match for him than her.

Barry is currently moving his hands all over Iris' shoulders and midriff according to the photographer's instructions, his face the epitome of _professionalism,_ yet Becky looks like a missus who will have her husband sleep on the couch tonight.

“If that bitch touches her hair one more time…ugh!” Linda whines on Cisco’s right before she flips her phone open again and press-and-maintains a key to call one of her speed-dial contacts.

“Shakeeya, hey! Please tell me that you’re not drunk yet…Oh, thank fuck! Still up for that extra cash? Yeah, we’re at the garden…no, the big garden that looks like every spring wedding venue, yeah, take the south-west exit…I have no idea what direction that is actually, but if you go back to the reception they’ll give you very good directions. Yeah, I have Iris’ bag here, please come before homegirl code-switches on that stylist! Thanks Shakeeya.”

Clap!

(Cisco _hates_ flip phones.)

Click...chink!

(He hates _cigarettes_ even more.)

“This is a non-smoking area, Park,” he lies because one: his hair, and two: that tuxedo is _Dante’s._

“The wind is blowing away from your stupidly pretty hair, Ramon, chill,” Park replies without taking her glaring eyes off of the so-called stylist who’s indeed ruining Iris’ hair between shots.

When the photographer calls for a break, Cisco and Linda approach the two models to give them their drinks, and Shakeeya Nelson appears just as the stylist finishes powdering Barry's face (that was so unnecessary, and it's an insult to Cisco who makes sure that Barry gets his beauty sleep whenever possible).

The stylist hired by Barry and Iris' agency frowns then watches, feeling useless (which she is), as Nelson expertly resets Iris to "perfect."

Nelson is so fast fixing West's hair and makeup, in fact, that the prom queen has time to Gossip with Linda about cool kids drama, and Barry remembers to check on his clingy girlfriend. Becky's fake smile is so aggressive when Barry waves at her that Barry's professional mask momentarily falters. 

Then the photoshoot resumes, but halfway through it the photographer picks up a phone call and walks to the side.

Cisco sighs even before his best friend starts blushing then takes his hands off West's hips after an awkward pause.

Work interruptions messes up Barry's professional mask for real, and without his professional mask Barry Allen is a fumbling nerd who has the biggest crush on Iris West, his childhood...Not friend, he and Iris _aren't_ friends, okay? They're not dating and they're not friends. They're _coworkers_. 'Childhood coworker', doesn't sound right, though.

Thankfully, the photographer's call is brief, and it takes no time at all to get Barry's focus back on what he’s supposed to do, in this case look like the s̶e̶x̶i̶e̶s̶t̶ most outstanding male student of Central City—colleges and university PR teams aren’t even wasting time lamenting that their student models lost to a _high schooler_ ; they’re focusing their energy on making sure that Bartholomew Henry Allen receives a letter of acceptance and a full scholarship from them, even if he hasn’t applied to their institutions.

“Wanna bet that they'll bang before any of us four becomes a millionaire?” Linda proposes.

(Cisco should bet against that, he's certain that he'll win...But Barry will get mad at him for betting at all.)

Park glances to her right and lowers her volume. “But _after_ he dumps Cooper. Like, why is she a thing? That bitch isn't even basic, she's a _bad_ one. Aren't you supposed to keep Barry away from sources of stress, Ramon?"

"Says the one who refused to help me manage the _Rathaway scandal_!" Cisco hisses, then coughs after he inhales a whiff of tobacco smoke.

"Ah, right, right! My bad," Park amends as she waves the hand holding the cigarette in front of her.

(Is she apologizing for the smoke or for not giving him a better option for Barry's cover? Better be for _both_!)

Cisco pats his hair, not just because of the smoke, but also because he remembers how the whole scandal had made him pull out quite a few strands of hair.

Hartley Rathaway is a rich kid from the pompous private high school North Central Academy, whose lousy football team was CC High's opponent for homecoming. Rathaway wasn't well-liked in his own school, so after actually cheering for the CC High during the game, he invited CC High students to his (actually great) post-game party.

Cisco remembers feeling icky about the way Rathaway had eye-raped Barry right from the get-go, but he'd calculated that being seen with an upcoming socialite would be good publicity for Barry.

No, it fucking _hadn't_ been!

During the party, Cisco had momentarily lost sight of his best friend, distracted by a really hot conversation with the incredible Cynthia Reynolds about the cheat codes of the online game 'Earth-19'.

So imagine how _unprepared_ he was to hear that the rich gay kid had frenched his best friend? And Barry had defended Hartley, saying that it was consensual? Cisco hadn't even known then that his best friend was _bi!_

With hindsight, Cisco isn't surprised by Barry's stunt, which made him more popular with the CC High's cool crowd, hence him getting elected prom king. Cisco is still surprised by that outcome, and _he's_ the one who ran Barry's campaign.

Right, so the stunt was not surprising because Barry had probably used it to end the rumors about him and Iris once and for all. West hadn't come to the party herself because she'd been avoiding being seen around Barry in order to quell the rumors about the two of them banging.

Those rumors had stemmed from the fact that, on top of modeling for the same teenage fashion magazines, Barry and Iris had starred in the school's musical at the beginning of the school year: a modern punk rock version of the 1994 Broadway's 'Beauty and the Beast'.

The play had been a huge success, and it's what had further propelled Barry and Iris on the modeling scene. But instead of praising them for their phenomenal performance, CC High students had been all about how realistic their love had seemed. Hello, _acting_? And _Sherloque Wells_ directing? So Miss Sunshine had been right to Ghost Barry for a few weeks. The rumors had kinda died down after that, and the Rathaway scandal had shifted the focus away from 'Allen and West' to 'Allen' _alone_. 

Problem was, Barry's parents are bigots—the most polite bigots Cisco has ever met, but _still_ bigots—so when the story of their son locking lips with the openly gay heir of Rathaway's Industries had reached their ears, they'd demanded he 'debunk the rumors' by dating a girl.

Entered Becky Cooper, whom Cisco had picked because he'd figured out that Barry wouldn't get attached to a rich girl with a reputation of being a mean bitch.

Cisco hadn't foreseen _Cooper_ being the one catching feelings. On top of that, fake blonde had popped Barry's cherry when Cisco was in D.C. for the National Science Fair Competition. Barry had been so casual about it! Cisco had cried a little bit that night in his bedroom.

His innocent, angelic best friend, deflowered by a _fake_ girlfriend!

And Cisco can't even fire Becky now because Barry's parents _like her._ That has to be because Cooper's family is old money, since there's _nothing else_ to like about her.

"Well, you better get her off Allen's back soon," Linda advises Cisco with one last puff of smoke, "or she'll drag him down in her rich family drama and he'll never make it big, at least not on his own".

Cisco isn't too worried. As long as _his plan_ works, all will be fine.

His best friend is smart, talented and driven. He's going to double-major in biochemistry and theater, not actually to please his parents, but in case Cisco ever needs his help to achieve his dream of becoming the next giant of biotechnology. He's amazing like that.

To Cisco, Barry is a _brother_ , so he would do whatever it takes to make him happy.

If that involves _hacking_ into the system of CCU's performing arts department to make sure that Iris West will be selected to participate in the prestigious, national 'Immitating Life' actors training program once she completes her bachelor's degree, just like Barry will be the SCU's candidate of that same program, _well_...

Hear Cisco out before you call him a hypocrite.

On the one hand, he truly _doesn't_ want Barry and Iris to get together because that's so cliché, and anyways it's not happening unless Barry is ready to go against his parents. Cisco's convinced that his best friend will forget about his teenage crush once he's across the country and realizes that there's more to life than acting, theoretical physics and Iris West.

But on the other hand, Cisco _wants_ West to be a constant in Barry's _professional life_ because she brings out the best of Barry's talent and energy, and she's the only person who knows Barry and understands him as well as Cisco and can therefore be his emotional support once he dives deep into the world of the showbusiness.

So the hope is that Barry will fall in love with some cool girl in Star City (not some cool _guy_ because, bigot parents, remember?), _then_ reunite with Iris in a completely professional capacity when he graduates from college. _Easy._

About West _knowing_ and _understanding_ Barry. Until recently Cisco was mildly jealous of Miss Sunshine because she knows so much about _his_ best friend, and both of them act like it's not a big deal.

Barry Allen and Iris West _aren't_ friends because they don't call themselves that if you ask them, _but_...Their parents' houses are on opposite sides of the road in their quaint middle class neighborhood, so they've gone to the same schools from elementary to now high school, and have attended common summer programs; they ended up modeling for the same magazines because those places were the only ones in walking distance from their houses with reasonable pay and reputable management, criteria imposed by both sets of control-freak parents.

Obviously they didn't start as models: they were both errand people mostly helping with bringing in clothes and moving props on the set of photoshoots. Eventually someone with _eyes_ noticed them and promised them more money and a bit of fame if they went on the other side of the camera.

Clearly, their respective parents had trusted them to be reasonable about the whole thing. Cisco's sure that they regret being cool parents now.

Outside of work, Barry and Iris navigate very distinct and separate worlds: Barry's a nerd, Iris is a popular kid. He's into science, she's into creative writing. Until last year he was in the competitive chess team, until last year she was a cheerleader. Their participation in the musical? According to Barry, Mr. Sherloque had literally dragged them into it after seeing them on opposite pages of a magazine, and one simply _doesn't say no_ to Sherloque Wells, not in his hometown at least.

So how Barry and Iris know private stuff about each other is almost a mystery. Because they _do_ know each other very well. Their chemistry didn't come out of thin air, Cisco refuses to believe it. He actually suspects that Barry and Iris used to play together as kids.

Barry never says much about his elementary school days because he almost lost his mother to cancer during that time period. Cisco's not insensitive, so he leaves him alone about it, but it has to be during that time that Iris learned all the things Cisco never got the time to ask about his bestie.

Cisco will always remember the first day he'd seen Iris West from up close in freshman year: it was lunch, and Cisco had saved a plate for his new friend Barry because as usual Allen had stayed behind in class to fanboy all over Professor Stein. You'd think that Allen was an aspiring theoretical physicist instead of an aspiring biochemist (back then).

So, Barry had arrived to the table halfway through lunch and had sat down in front of his tray, but instead of starting eating already he had wasted some more time relaying the words of scientific wisdom imparted by the good professor.

Halfway through one of Chester's questions, the whole table had gone quiet all of a sudden and when Cisco had looked up from his shrimp pasta (the shrimp pieces were cut so tiny that they were nearly invisible) there was this crazily pretty girl who had better-looking hair than him standing there.

After a general greeting to the table, the girl had silently dropped a wrapped-up sandwich right on Barry's tray, then she'd taken his plate of pasta and had casually walked away.

 _"Thanks, Iris!"_ Barry had half-yelled at her back once Cisco had answered his question about what was on the menu. She had thrown back a neutral "Yeah!" over her shoulder.

Turns out, Barry's allergic to shellfish.

His favorite color is red.

He's ambidextrous because he broke his right arm when he was seven, and the fracture was so severe that he'd had to live without his dominant hand for half a year.

The tattoo on his arm reading 'Run Barry, Run!' actually hides the scar made by the surgery.

He's got an unexpectedly nice body for a nerd because he _does_ run, and he also does calisthenics at the huge playground three blocks away from his parents' place.

He's got arachnophobia.

Those are facts that Cisco found out about Barry over the years because of odd interactions between him and West, mostly at work but sometimes at school.

There's _one_ very private fact about his best friend that Cisco made a point of digging for, concerning Barry's _other tattoo._

It's 'a random chemical formula' written on top of his shoulder, "C6N2P4N", which Barry had secretly gotten around the time he'd discovered his affinity for biochemistry.

The whole city has seen the tattoo by now, because it was captured on camera during Barry's first swimming pool photoshoot earlier this Spring. Like, _two days_ after he'd turned eighteen, the vultures had jumped on the opportunity to make profit out of people's thirst for his body. All the photographers had gushed about the tattoo being 'so nerdy yet cute at the same time'.

Cisco would've _paid_ to see Mr. and Mrs. Allen's reaction upon seeing the cover of the April's edition of Central City's "Education", which _everyone_ with a mail box is subscribed to: their son seated at the edge of a swimming pool, _half-naked and all wet,_ holding a huge ball and stick model of the water molecule overhead, and giving the camera that boyish grin of his over his tattooed shoulder.

Cisco is straight as a rod and had actually been present at the photoshoot, but even he had to calm his heart upon seeing the final edit of that picture. The water drops all over Barry's skin really emphasized the outline of his well developed arms and back muscles. 'Nerdy and cute'? More like 'mildly nerdy, kinda cute and _very_ _sexy'_.

That supposedly random chemical formula on his shoulder, though? Cisco had known from the start that it wasn't random but _coded_. Barry Allen knew the Morse Code and the Tap Code, knew the periodic table and all the RNA codons to amino acid combinations by heart. Barry wasn't a genius but he was _really smart_ , and the idea of him marking his skin with anything 'random' was simply _ludicrous_. 

So Cisco had _discreetly_ pestered Barry about the shoulder tattoo, and after a whole week of silence Barry had caved in and confessed that C6N2P4N was the backwards and semi-inverted spelling of 'IRIS' in the Cyrillic alphabet: ИРИС*, split by the digits of her birthday: June twenty-fourth. Cyrillic because Iris speaks a bit of Russian, which she learned from her mother's foster sister (like, how does one learns stuff like _that_ about someone else's family without being their friends?)

After that reveal, Cisco had freaked out a bit, thinking that his best friend had more than a crush on Miss Sunshine. Like, tatooing _her name and birthday_ on his skin? _What the hell?_

But Barry had reassured Cisco that he'd gotten that tattoo when he was _thirteen_ , while he was going through a rebellious phase and a huge crush on Iris at the same time—Cisco had refrained from pointing out that Barry's crush hadn't gone _anywhere_.

Barry had originally planned on permanently marking his skin with the chemical formula of deoxyribose, but right as he'd entered the tattoo shop his mom had called him to know why he wasn't home yet, since 'that girl' was already home and was supposedly disturbing the neighborhood with her sale of homemade lemonade. Barry's parents had always called Iris 'that girl' even though they knew her name, and that week Barry had just figured out _why,_ and he'd been so sad and ashamed and upset about it, but hearing his mom say 'that girl' again had really pissed him off so after lying to her that he was at the playground, he'd hung up and told the tattoo artist to write down 'IRIS' instead of C5H10O4.

The tattoo artist hadn't been too happy about the change, and had also figured out that Barry might regret the decision, so he'd told him to come back the next day. Barry had walked back home fuming and had spent hours that night being mad at his parents, and at the tattoo artist too. But after some reflection he'd figured out a way to get Iris' name tattooed on his shoulder anyways, but without anybody knowing about it. Barry had been so smug when his parents had actually been cool with him getting something so "science-y" as a tattoo, something that to this day make them feel lucky as parents, because other parents have kids who get 'skulls and other morbid things' on their skin, but not _their son._

"To be honest, I don't think about the meaning of my tattoo most days," Barry had confessed with a shrug of his shoulders. "Maybe I'll remove it some day, when I'm tired of hoping that my parents will change," he'd added sadly, and right there Cisco had felt bad for being so nosy.

Cisco wonders if Iris knows the meaning of the tattoo. He tries not to wonder too much if she returns Barry's crush. It really doesn't seem like she does. Unlike Barry, she's had real boyfriends, but according to Linda they weren't 'brave enough to love her back'.

(Park is so dramatic, _except_ when it comes to Barry. She often jokes that a physical relationship between Barry and Iris would be a convenient stress-reliever for her bestie. Cisco doesn't appreciate her implication that Barry isn't real boyfriend material, just good for _stress-relief_.)

Does Iris West have tattoos herself, by the way? So far no photographer has dared ask her to reveal too much skin. They're definitely waiting until she moves out of her parents' house to do it, not just until she turns eighteen. No one wants to deal with an angry lawyer and an equally angry cop. 

Cisco hasn't learned much private facts about West through Barry because, as stated before, Barry talks very little about her outside of work-related topics.

A photoshoot a few weeks back had actually confirmed Cisco's assumption that Barry knows as much about Iris as she knows about him.

A light crew member had made a comment about West 'naturally' looking good in urban clothing, and that she should've have styled her hair in 'those braids' to make the look 'more authentic'.

 _Dude_ , Cisco had been ready to call Iris' parents to tell them that their daughter had committed murder. Linda had begged West to complain to the set manager, but she had done her job without a fuss after her long glare at that guy, who had enough sense of self-preservation to shut up for the rest of the shoot.

At first, Cisco had been surprised and disappointed by Barry's passivity. White dude with privilege, who'd been sitting within earshot of the whole scene, had only paused for a few seconds on the phone and then had continued _ordering_ _food!_

But when their break time had come and Iris wouldn't take the healthy smoothie that Linda was shoving in her hands, Barry had handed her a container of sushi, disposable chopsticks, and a thick piece of brownie.

(To this day, Cisco doesn't know how Barry had managed to get a piece of brownie from a _Japanese restaurant._ )

"Thank you, Barry," West had said with the most genuine, soft smile Cisco has seen on her face (she's really nice with everyone at school, but Cisco doesn't see her much there), and after she'd eaten everything to the last crumb _then_ had slurped on the healthy smoothie, she had seemed much peppier. The second half of the photoshoot had even dragged on because the photographer had been more inspired by the 'atmosphere' between her and Barry.

So, yeah, Barry and Iris aren't friends but they know each other and watch out for each other. Call it what you want.

Cisco is persuaded that Iris will never actually entertain the idea of 'banging' Barry, but he knows that she can keep Barry grounded in the tough world of the showbusiness, where his kindness and all the other qualities that make him an amazing human being will have to take a back seat.

Barry claims that he knows what he's getting himself into, but Cisco doubts that he fully understands how much he will have to lose in order to win one of those pompous awards. He'll need a familiar hand to hold onto when the reality of his career choice knocks him down and he needs to stand back up.

And hell, Hollywood is a tough place for women in general, but for _women of color?_ Iris will need Barry in her corner too.

"Don't you worry, Park," Cisco declared cheerfully as the photographer called it a wrap. "Barry's all set for his climb to the top."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> *Google translate says that the Russian word for the flower itself is ириса, "irisa".
> 
> This fic is different from most of my other fics because
> 
> 1) until chapter 9 and 10, the story will be told from other people's POVs as they observe and reflect on Barry and Iris' relationship. This first chapter isn't heavy on West-Allen, but the other chapters will be.
> 
> 2) EDIT: the "artistic liberties" tag: I've used a real life element, Grant Gustin's tattoos to add to Barry's characterization. Obviously I switched stuff around to fit the narrative, no disrespect to the actor. I've read tons of West-Allen fics yet never seen real life inserts like this done, so I hope it's not taken badly. I've seen it done in other fandoms but not in TF. 
> 
> 3) This is a teaser of a story that is fully outlined but not written out. That's how "Innocence Is Gone" started and I'm learning from my mistakes: updates for this new fic will be weekly rather than biweekly. That way I can also work on my other WIPs without feeling rushed.
> 
> I'm currently editing chapter 27 "Innocence Is Gone" and the last chapter of "Pot, Meet Kettle." They will be posted this weekend for sure. Thank you all for your patience!
> 
> And thanks for reading all that! Take care everyone!


	2. Hoping They Could Be The One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linda saw it first, that West-Allen chemistry. One day she'll make the whole world see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited Linda's POV is here! I got kinda fancy at the start with the re-tweet LOL.

WestAllen Official Fanclub Retweeted

 **IAWsagent** @IAgent . 3h

#CCHSHomecoming #WelcomehomeIrisWest

Iris West (@IrisAnnWest) and Barry Allen (@BHAllen) were spotted at @CentralCityHighSchool during the kickoff event of @CCHSHomecoming: Alumni and Friends Give Back.

See below the group picture of our favorite Hollywood rising stars with their respective best friends and fellow CC High alumni Linda Park (no known account) & Francisco Ramon (@Vibe1211). All four are from @CCHighClassof2008.

The question we're all asking ourselves (so no need to ask it again in your comments, thank you very much #noredundancy): are we ready for the next photoshoot pictures showcasing the West-Allen iconic chemistry? 

22.3k💬 1.5k 🔁 1M♡ Share

"You're definitely not ready for this," Linda says to herself before she pockets her iPhone then knocks on the door of Iris' dress room. "The Wests and Allens will need medical attention so bad," she adds with a smirk.

"Two minutes!" Iris' voice says across the door, then quickly adds "unless it's you Linda, in which case: where the hell have you been!??"

Linda chuckles before she opens the door only wide enough to slip through it, so that none of the set staff members rushing past catches the sight Linda gets exposed to upon entering:  Iris West being zipped up by Barry Allen.

"All done," calmly declares the guy whose face is on the latest cover of the three most read local magazines—Education (for the third time in four years), Central City Entertainment and Central City Gossip (he's sharing the cover with Iris on the last two). 

"Let me see? Turn around," Barry instructs in his smooth singer voice—dude used to sing in the Central City Junior High School Chamber Choir.

Linda watches, as always in awe at her best friend's beauty and elegance, as Iris does a one-eighty in slow motion, standing tall with her arms extended while Barry scrutinizes her with his arms crossed over his chest and his head tilted. 

Linda knows that he's fainting inside, but outwardly he looks at the Monique Lhuillier wedding dress with detached criticism. He himself is in a tuxedo, his vest draped over one of the chairs next to the vanity.

"That's...it's a perfect fit, actually," Barry judges with clear surprise, his eyebrows remaining lifted for a few seconds before his face returns to its scarily neutral state and turns towards Linda.

She internally rolls her eyes at the young man's objectively dry observation. She's heard Barry, _the real Barry Allen,_ say 'hello' to Iris with more reverence than a groom would express upon seeing his beautiful bride at the aisle.

Couldn't he at least try to enjoy playing out one of his wildest dreams from beginning to end? Cisco isn't there for him to hide.

But Linda is there, _duh,_ so she guesses that he still can't be too candid.

He doesn't know that she, unlike Cisco, is just fine with him being unprofessional with Iris.

"Hey Linda, what do you think?" he asks her conversationally.

"Yes, Linda, what do you think of the three pounds wedding dress you didn't help me fit into even though _you're the one_ who asked me to wear it?" Iris drawls with a scowl as she crosses her arms over her chest and glares at her best friend and personal assistant for the day, this one last time.

"Aren't there supposed to be not one but _two_ 'dress fitting assistants'...assisting you with fitting into this dress?" Linda questions, but not because she wants to know where the two gossipy employees have gone. She just wants to hear the two models speak on top of each other.

Two, one...

"He fired them," Iris lets her know with an exasperated huff at the same time as Barry reports evenly "They were being unprofessional." Both have accompanied their words with a shrug of their shoulders and their arms crossed over their chests.

Linda shakes her head, managing not to laugh at how, when it's all said and done, things haven't truly changed between these two.

Linda Park had met Iris Ann West and Bartholomew Henry Allen in first grade, and as fate would have it, the first time she'd seen them she'd thought that they'd acted like in a movie.

"We're neighbors!" They'd spoken in sync, happily pointing a knowing finger at each other.

To say that the two of them had been inseparable during those carefree days would be an understatement. Linda had vainly tried to join them in their intriguingly fun activities, but it was difficult to communicate with these two because they often spent long minutes without speaking real English, just half-pronounced words accompanied by humming and grunting and sighing sounds. All the while, Iris and Barry would be passing each other the exact right stuff they'd asked for, or would be moving into each other's space without a single misunderstanding or misstep. It was as if they were the speakers of a foreign language Linda's parents had clearly forgotten to teach her along with Mandarin Chinese and French. After observing that nobody else in the class could get what Iris and Barry said to each other, Linda had guessed that the language had only two speakers, and she didn't have the skills to be the third one. To this day she called it the IrisandBarry language, which was so creative for a formally trained filmmaker.

After two years of extensive use in the classroom and on the playground, the IrisandBarry language had seemed to go extinct the day Mrs. Allen had come to school in a rush. She'd been called about her son and his best friend getting into a fight with Tony Woodward, who always tried to bully Barry during the few minutes he and Iris weren't joined at the hip. Usually Barry managed to hold on until Iris, who was being trained in boxing by her cop dad, would air punch in Tony's direction so fiercely that the taller and bigger boy would then leave Barry alone.

But the day the IrisandBarry language had stopped being spoken, it had been Barry who'd shoved Tony first because Tony had said something about Iris being a tomboy who couldn't make friends with the other girls...except Barry. By the time Iris had intervened, Tony had already landed several kicks and punches on Barry's much smaller body. Iris had returned the pain to Tony tenfolds, which she'd been able to do despite also being smaller than Tony because she was _so quick_ on her feet! Even Linda doubted that she had better footwork than Iris even though she'd then started karate because she wanted to have something in common with Iris, to maybe become her friend too. Linda didn't need to be equally as important to Iris as Barry, she just wanted Iris and her to speak more than through greetings and random words of courtesy when their personal spaces overlapped.

Well, she did become Iris' friend on that day, several minutes after Barry's outraged mother had pulled her son away from Iris' side. Mrs. Allen had glared at Iris with a meanness Linda already knew about because her parents had told her why people might treat her differently just because she had small eyes and her grandparents were from Korea, when it was still one country.

It still had been the first time for Linda to actually witness racism, and it hadn't happened to her but to someone she'd cared about, so it might explain why she could never ignore it the way Iris was usually able to.

Iris had obviously known about racism too back then, and Linda would always remember the shock that had preceded the understanding on her best friend's face that day. The heartbreak before the acceptance. She'd gone from walking close to Barry who was being pulled by his mother—trying to share her point of view of the fight with Mrs. Allen, to support Barry's own account—to standing still as she looked into the eyes of her best friend's mother, to slowly taking a few steps back (to Barry's confusion).

Linda would never forget Nora Allen's own reaction to Iris' reaction, either. She'd never forget the surprise quickly followed by satisfaction in Mrs. Allen's eyes. That elegant and beautiful red-haired lady had expected Iris to be oblivious to her micro-aggression, but had been pleased that she hadn't. Barry's mother hadn't quite smiled when Iris had put distance between them, but she'd clearly been content with the outcome of her wordless exchange with her son's best friend...Who got demoted to her son's classmate.

So yeah, for years Linda had thought that the IrisandBarry language had gone extinct, but it hadn't. It had been spoken away from other people's ears, and it took Linda until junior high to even realize that Iris and Barry had never stopped being friends. Because in junior high, Linda had noticed that Barry Allen had finally made _other_ friends.

He'd always seemed satisfied being on his own, and maybe Linda had contributed to his loneliness because she would tell anyone who would listen that Barry's mom was racist. She didn't mean to punish Barry for his mother's bigotry, she really mostly did it to see if there were other adults who looked nice on the outside but were actually terrible on the inside. But a lot of the students Linda talked to would then say how they had seen Barry's mother glaring at them too, all non-whites of course, and even the white kids would say how their parents warned them about racist people too, it wasn't just the anti-racist workshops that educated them. It made Linda feel better, that she and Iris didn't have to be too paranoid about that, not more than they'd started being paranoid about being treated unfairly because they were girls and because they were pretty.

And in junior high Linda would notice the way Iris would sometimes gaze longingly at Barry and his new friends— _nerds_ , all of them, always talking about random science stuff that no one needed to know for tests, or about science fiction shows streaming on cable TV.

Sometimes Linda would make snarky comments about things she'd overhear from Barry's group, and it's not that Iris would chide her for mocking her ex-best friend's clique. No, Iris would _correct_ Linda's ignorance in nerd culture, just like she'd correct her whenever they were studying for science classes.

That's when Linda had figured out that she'd been sharing Iris with Barry the whole time. The more Linda questioned the origin of Iris' superior knowledge on stuff Linda didn't expect her to have, the more she would picture herself spending the first five years of her friendship with Iris walking side by side towards the light of school popularity, and not being aware of the shadow walking on Iris' other side. A white shadow.

_"The Vulcan salutation...the 'weird hand greeting', that's what it's called—whatever. I just wanted to tell you that it's from Star Trek, not Star Wars. It's pop culture Linda, everyone knows that."_

_"I don't think that they were talking about the Nintendo game console. DS-1 is the name of a spaceship...huh? Star Wars, I think."_

_"They didn't make up that Elvish language, Tolkien actually created several fictional languages and dialects when he built the Lord of the Rings universe."_

_"It's not a typo. The letter for potassium is K on the periodic table. So it's actually 'FUCK' not 'FUCP'. Linda, we had quizzes on it!"_

_"No, no, the radius is the arm bone on the thumb side, that one is the ulna. Yes I'm sure! Barry broke his ulna in second grade, remember? His tattoo is right on top of it. Yes, Barry has a tattoo on his arm...Oh, I guess I saw during gym class. No, I think it was during summer camp? Yeah that's when I saw it. Anyways, the radius on the thumb side, don't forget Linda!"_

Linda didn't forget all the odd facts about Barry Allen that she didn't want to know. And when Iris started being around him again in high school, "just for work, though," she internally shrugged and accepted the fact that she'd get to share a bit of her best friend with him.

 _"You didn't learn that he's allergic to shellfish at work,"_ Linda had pointed out accusingly to Iris when the latter had claimed that she only knew things about Barry because they worked for the same teenage magazines.

Iris had saved Barry from an allergic reaction in freshman year, and that was before her strict parents had allowed her to earn a living via her beauty and elegance in sophomore year. Until she started modeling, Iris' schedule hadn't overlapped with Barry Allen's at all, so she couldn't have learned about his allergy at work when she was still doing behind the scenes work.

To be clear, that lunch time had been a very charismatic moment for Iris, and to this day Linda wished to recreate that scene in front of a camera. It had been so cool, and yeah Linda had stopped caring that Barry's parents were bigots because it wasn't Barry's fault. She couldn't stay mad at the guy who looked ridiculously good next to Iris, and who made her look even more confident than usual.

In any case, there was no reason for Linda to be jealous of Barry Allen. She was Iris' real best friend, whatever was going on between Iris and Barry was superficial at best. Allen couldn't possibly be closer to Iris than her. He was a boy, a _white_ boy, so he couldn't possibly understand Iris' life struggles just from interacting with her in their professional setting or even their secret bubble, if they had one. 

For all Linda knew, Iris and Barry's secret relationship involved them being workout buddies. Iris had always been an athlete thanks to boxing, but Linda had been shocked to see her flexible and strong enough to become a cheerleader. There was a big, well-equipped playground not too far from the Wests and Allens' residence. That had to be where Iris and Barry met behind their parents' backs.

But then in third year of high school, Iris had employed Linda as her personal assistant, at first as a joke because Linda had been sick of working as a waitress at her aunt's restaurant. But Linda had kept doing it because Iris paid her a lot more than aunt Minahn (meaning she paid her), to do basically nothing other than make sure that she stayed hydrated and energized during long photoshoots. Otherwise, Iris and Linda worked _together_ to improve Iris' working conditions. Iris would've probably given Linda half of her paycheck if Linda hadn't reminded her that she was the only one being exposed to the cameras.

The first time that Linda had seen Iris and Barry work at the same photoshoot, she'd immediately concluded that she didn't have to be jealous of Barry after all (because who had she been kidding? Deep down she'd been as green as the guy's eyes). No, Linda had concluded that she'd had it all wrong. She'd been so stuck on their childhood history that she'd never seen Barry as a guy, you know?

But the first pose that she'd witnessed Iris and Barry take live during a photoshoot had quickly made Linda realized that he was a guy, and _holy shit_. He and Iris had known exactly where to place each other's body parts, and when one didn't understand the photographer's instructions but the other did, they then translated the words for the other and delivered something even better than the photographer had expected. Like, for fuck's sake, how had Linda been so jealous that she'd been blind to the _other thing_ that Iris and Barry could be to each other. 

Her suspicions had been confirmed when she'd realized that, when he wasn't in work mode, Barry Allen had the biggest crush for Iris West, it was actually adorable. He blushed and stuttered and seemed to forget how to coordinate the movement of his long limbs whenever he was around her. Iris was mostly amused and actually helped Barry limit his clumsiness to their shared space.

So the IrisandBarry language hadn't made Linda feel alienated this time: it had made her curious and maybe a little hopeful for her bestie.

Because, the thing was, Iris wasn't _happy._ Her parents were great, actually less strict than before, but in school Iris had to deal with so much jealousy from the other girls, even the other cheerleaders. And all the hate mail and threat letters that Iris received and refused to avoid because she wanted to communicate with her real fans! On top of it all, the guys Iris dated were cool guys in disguise, they always ended up being too superficial or too intense! Even Malcolm, who was super mature and really outspoken about social justice, didn't understand Iris. He didn't understand that she didn't want to be Miss Sunshine all the time, or classy and poised all the time. And he always guilt-tripped her when she didn't tear down people who made comments about her skin color, he accused her of being one of the reasons why racism was still a thing in the twenty-first century. Malcolm would criticize her for not using her power as a role model for many other young people to spread awareness about the still ongoing struggle of people of color in the entertainment industry.

Iris actually did that. She just didn't care about prejudice against _her_ because why would she give it any power over her: she was smart and pretty, and she was going to be rich and famous. None of those bigots had any impact on her life as long as she didn't allow them to. And she preferred uplifting the victims of prejudice rather than waste her time confronting those who polluted the air with the stink of their bullshit.

But you know who couldn't take one ounce of bullshit, except from his parents? Barry Allen, that's who. Dude was an intense social justice warrior, as if he was trying to make up not just for all the injustices perpetrated and enabled by white people in general, but by his parents in particular. It was the right thing to do anyways, but boy, chill.

The first time he'd made a scene defending Iris on set though, Iris herself had been the one to lecture him later. She'd told him that at the end of the day, they were there to _work._ If the others were still doing their jobs while being racist and sexist, then the set manager would never fire them. No one was paid to make sure that everyone was politically correct, so what was the point of popping a vein?

And just like his crush for Iris, Barry had learned to mask his activism behind a cold and calm mask of professional indifference. He kept his peace when staff on set would gossip about his chemistry with Iris, and even when people mentioned the fact that Barry had a girlfriend who must be jealous. But Linda would see how his mask faltered when the comments were just about Iris. She'd known that he would crack some day. He would try to be professional about it, but he would crack.

 _"If you'd styled your hair in those braids, what do you call them? Anyways, you would look more authentic,"_ had been the words some suicidal light tech had spouted right before the photoshoot for some urban clothing line made by a local designer. Linda should've seen the death of his job coming, but she'd been busy freaking out because she'd know that Iris would actually be affected by those words. She'd even considered getting the set manager involved, but of course Iris had declined.

Nevertheless, Iris had been upset to the point that the photographer hadn't been extra impressed by Iris and Barry's chemistry, the way photographers always were the first time they worked with the two of them together. Linda had tried to make her best friend chill with her favorite pineapple kale smoothie during the break, knowing damn well that what Iris needed was either her great-grandmother's noodle dish or a sushi and brownies combo to feel normal again. But the shoot had been in a part of town Linda was unfamiliar with and she didn't know which delivery services to trust. Serving Iris bad food only made things worse, and that was on Linda because she'd spoiled her bestie rotten with foods from the best restaurant in Central City. Both of them had a zero tolerance for dishes that were less than lip-smacking good.

But when Barry had provided the sushi and brownie combo just in time for Iris to perk up for part two of the shoot, and then Barry had amped up their chemistry on camera to the point that the photographer had sent his PA to book the place for another hour, Linda had known that things were about to go down.

Indeed, right before Linda and Iris left, half an hour after Barry and Cisco had already peaced out, the set manager had approached them. He'd assured Iris that the light crew member had been fired, that their business had zero tolerance for racism, especially not micro-aggressions. He'd emphasized that Iris should feel comfortable to work with them again without feeling judged or stereotyped, that of course it was the minimum requirement to create an atmosphere conducive to creativity.

A pleasantly surprised Iris had diplomatically thanked the guy for his words and action. She'd hurriedly added that she would be happy to work with the company again. And that's when the set manager had humbly asked if she could _"please let Mr. Allen know that"_.

Linda had laughed the whole ride back, to Iris' exasperation. But Iris couldn't have reprimanded Barry for his intervention, because he had made it about work. He'd been professional about his (not really) complaint to the set manager.

On the next shoot with Barry, which had been during prom, Iris herself had warned her agency stylist not to make her usual comments about Iris and Barry 'eyefucking' each other. Barry's girlfriend was on her way, and if Becky got upset someone was going to lose their job and it wasn't going to be Iris, if she knew what she meant. The stylist had still managed to be annoying by playing around with Iris' look, but she'd kept her mouth shut the entire time.

Speaking of Iris and Barry eyefucking. Seriously, Linda herself suspected that Iris and Barry had lost their virginity to each other. 

Why? Because, first of all: the Beauty and the Beast play earlier in the year, like, Linda had filmed one of their kissing scenes and had saved it for inspiration because Mr. Sherloque was a genius. And yeah you heard that right, there had been _multiple_ kissing scenes. Linda suspected that Barry had improvised one of those actually, because Iris had been way too slow to say her next line, which of course had made it sound natural. Magic, those two worked magic. When Barry Allen had faked being bi and had let Cisco get him a fake beard, Linda hadn't been fooled. She'd especially not believed it when Cisco had whined about Barry 'casually' losing his virginity to Cooper.

Because, second: Linda remembered asking Iris how her first time with David had been the summer before senior year, and Iris had also been too casual about it.

 _"Didn't it hurt?_ " Linda had asked. _"I'm scared about that. I like Ian, but what if I hate him after his big dick hurts me?"_

 _"It won't hurt you as long as you spend enough time with foreplay, half an hour at least,"_ Iris had promised after laughing at her. _"Make sure that you have extra lube, but normally you shouldn't need to add any since there's some on the condom too. Oh, and do it with you on top if you want Ian to suck your boobs at the same time. He'll need a pillow since you have a big height difference."_

 _"Iris!"_ Linda had exclaimed, more impressed than scandalized.

Then she'd realized: David was short, barely taller than Iris and Linda themselves. So how would Iris know about the pillow trick for a much taller guy to suck on the girl's tits?

 _Barry_ was much taller than Iris. And no offense to David—actually, yes, Linda meant all the offense to that creep—but he didn't seem like the patient type of guy who'd worship Iris' body for thirty minutes without putting it in. But Barry Allen could probably watch Iris breathe for hours and do nothing else. If he was that much of a pushover with Cooper, one could only imagine how devoted he'd be to Iris. After all, he had Iris' birthday tattooed on his skin!

After fanning herself from seeing Barry on the cover of Education's April's edition, Linda had looked up the chemical formula on his shoulder in good fun, or rather in case it was yet another elementary fact that Iris would claim she should've remembered from class.

Linda was smart okay? Science didn't scare her. But she only memorized stuff for the sake of her GPA, so not much ever stuck in her brain. And she definitely didn't take advance courses like Barry.

Guess what Linda had found about the molecular formula C6N2P4N? Nothing. But Google didn't always have the answers, right? So Linda had taken a picture of the cover, and had been about to ask her cousin Kevin about it when she'd noticed that extra N. Linda sucked at chemistry because it was boring, but she was pretty sure that the correct way to write that formula was C6N3P4 and if she knew that, then Barry 'king of the nerds' Allen fucking knew that too. So the numbers had to be important...Six, two, four. Six twenty four. June the twenty-fourth. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Did Iris know? Linda had never dared bring up the topic of Allen's tattoo, because Iris' professional relationship with him was the one stress-free thing in her life, right after Iris' friendship with Linda. And then Barry had left for Star City anyways, and Becky was still his girlfriend...So Linda had seen no point in mentioning something that could only cause ripples in the boringly quiet waters of Iris' social life (at least she'd stopped stressing herself out with boyfriends who couldn't love her the way she tried to love them).

Not even when, while lecturing a zealous fan about calling Iris and Barry 'Barris' by saying that Iris' name should at least come first, she'd accidentally created the 'West-Allen' ship.

Iris hadn't minded, she'd actually used that to gain popularity on social media, and Barry had gladly helped. He was more popular than her, of course. Hello, tall and handsome white male who made nerdiness sexy and marketable? Guys wanted to be him, or for him to come out as bisexual because he posted a fair amount of pictures with Hartley Rathaway every time he went to the pompous events Becky's parents showed him off; girls wanted to be with him, a tiny number wanted him to marry Becky, a much bigger number wanted him to cheat on Becky with them, yet many more wanted him to dump Becky and just marry Iris because at least then they wouldn't feel bad for not having him; and non-binary peeps? They wouldn't let anyone forget that one of Barry's favorite natural phenomenas were _rainbows_.

(Yes, Barry was a vocal LGBTQ ally, but people should really educate themselves on Greek mythology.*)

Iris stopped getting a lot of modeling gigs when college started, but she was fine with it because she wanted to focus on her education and on helping Linda with her filmmaking projects. She'd even organized the auditions for Linda's first short film, and had pulled strings to have it shown not just at the CCU film festival, but also at their favorite local theaters.

Linda had been honored when Sherloque Wells had reached out to congratulate her on graduating and on the success of her film. She'd felt a tiny bit bad for becoming a huge fan of his twin brother, the acclaimed movie director Harrison Wells, so she'd jumped on the opportunity to do him a favor for a project of his own. 

"My friend Keith lacks refinement and thinks that anything expensive is art, so I challenged him to tone it down with this wedding commercial that he's producing in honor of his fifth wedding anniversary," Mr. Sherloque had explained. "But the ad concept is now too subdued, and the photographer is giving Keith a headache, so I've volunteered to help. Keith wants an interracial couple at all costs, but the photographer isn't impressed by the women who've auditioned so far, nor the guys auditioning for the groom. I knew that the photographer has worked with Allen before, so I asked our prom king if he'd be okay with a little modeling during homecoming week and he said yes. And there's no one better to co-star with him in that commercial than Iris West. I know that you're not her PA anymore but..."

"Say no more, Mr. Sherloque!" Linda had enthusiastically cut him off.

So here were Iris and Barry, back together after getting their bachelor degrees, the lucky or rather worthy of the chosen few participants for the 'Immitating Life' actors training program. Linda was damn proud to be able to witness the official West-Allen comeback, not just as Iris' best friend but as a filmmaker now as well. She wanted to see their chemistry with the new lenses she'd been trained to use, and she wanted to see it _now_ when it was still fairly genuine, before their respective debut on the national scene fully pushed them apart and changed too much of who they were.

In first grade, Linda had hoped to be the third speaker of the IrisandBarry language, to be the one to understand their unique bond even if she couldn't be part of it. She'd failed.

Sixteen years later, she was hoping to be the one who, one day, would make the rest of the world aware of that bond. Of that West-Allen chemistry.

And if the rest of her career as a filmmaker flopped, at least she'd still have the one successful project involving those two.

It was too damn bad that Becky was still in the picture—Ramon, you loser!—because Linda would've liked Iris to have one good reason not to date Tony fucking Woodward of all people, but she knew that it was happening anyways.

As long as West-Allen made more buzz for homecoming than the new relationship between Miss Sunshine and CC High's best quarterback, Linda would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> * in case you haven't learned that in one of my other WA fics: Iris is the goddess of rainbows in Greek mythology.


	3. Waiting For The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not that Patty doesn't like Iris West; it's just that she knows that Iris doesn't mean that much to Barry Allen. Not anymore. The West-Allen era ended a while ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3, yay! First chapter with the POV of someone who's not West-Allen friendly. So it's very much centered around Patty, but her focus does shift onto West-Allen in the second half of the chapter.
> 
> This POV is set three years after the previous chapter, Barry and Iris are 25.
> 
> I deeply apologize for the corny names of TV shows and movies.
> 
> Spencer Young is her own warning!

"Barry! Barry, look this way!" Photographers keep begging for his attention, their voices louder than those asking for Patty's pictures.

Patty doesn't feel slighted for not being the center of attention even though it's basically thanks to her that all these photographers can enjoy the famous model and actor Barry Allen at the premiere of the movie 'Burette: Back to Basics' in Central City. It's the anticipated sequel of the well-received and awards-nominated movie 'Burette', based on the book series of the same title. The first movie had actually been such a success because Barry had been teased to have a minor role in it, but due to his busy schedule he'd only showed up in the post-credit scene. He'd asked his fans to support the movie regardless, and that's what they'd done. The movie fandom had doubled since the announcement that Barry had been cast as the primary supporting character and as the main character's love interest for the second movie.

Patricia 'Patty' Spivot has the honor of being the lead actress playing the movies' eponymous character Andrea 'Andy' Burette. She landed the role three years ago only because of a last minute casting change, and she doesn't regret all the crazy hours at the gym, and the bland food, and all the choreography rehearsal. It's been worth it. Months after filming re-shoots of the sequel, she still looks amazing. Just like Barry, Patty started her career as a model, and she'd never expected to ever make it to the Hollywood forefront. For years people said that she was nothing special: just one more five foot eight blonde chick with blue eyes. And she'd believed them.

But look at her now, standing right next to _Barry Allen_. His hand on her waist is too polite, but both of them know that it looks bolder on camera. Patty wishes that they'd stopped by her hometown Keystone City right over the bridge, but with Central City being much bigger than its twin sister, the movie premiere is being held there instead because it's Barry's hometown. He actually battled with the movie's producers in Midway City to be able to reward his fans for their fantastic support. Patty backed him up on that proposition because of course she's grateful for Barry's fans, without whom this franchise wouldn't be that big. Their screams are only moderate right now because their idol is the personification of poise. 

Barry Allen is the guy who started the trend of making nerd characters be 'believably badass' in non sci-fi franchises. He revolutionized the way scripts of crime investigation shows and nerdy high school movies are written four years ago, when he was still in college double majoring in theater and biochemistry. He'd had a very minor role in an episode of the popular and still running crime investigation TV series called 'I.D.: Incoming Danger'. To this day, no one has disproven the rumor that Oliver Queen, who's good friend with Barry and plays the show's main character Archer Green, had asked the director to let Barry improvise a scene. A fact supporting the rumor was that Barry's character, a forensics scientist, had just been called 'nerd' on screen, and had been referred to as 'forensics scientist#6' in the credits. Nevertheless, his performance had impressed many because it had been unexpectedly realistic yet witty at the same time: when the nerd entered the lab to run a test supposed to nail the suspect of an unspecified case, he saw that some guy had broken into the lab, wearing a face mask and holding a crowbar with his gloved hands, poised to destroy the test tubes on a shelf that had a post-it labelled 'priority' in capital letter.

Whereas the audience had expected forensics scientist#6 to either flee and warn Detective Green about the break in, or try to protect the evidence at the risk of his own safety, he did neither. Instead, he confidently stepped into the lab, craned his neck to check that no one else was around, then ridiculed the culprit:

_**"Go ahead, destroy everything here, I have duplicate samples in the storage fridge under max security. No, no, go on! That's overtime for the cleaning crew, I heard them complain about the short schedule. Thanks for that, bye."**_

He made to walk out of the lab but turned around when he reached the threshold, lifted then pointed a warning finger at the dumbfounded vandal:

 _**"Do. Not. Injure yourself, and take the stupid crowbar with you when you leave. Please. I don't want your DNA all over the place.**_ **The cases need to get processed in a specific order. _You look_** _ **like you committed your crime very recently...**_ _ **I'll help Detective Green nail you** _ **eventually,** _**but you can't skip the line. Alright? Well, knock yourself out..."** _

Then the camera followed him as he walked away of the lab, talking to himself and rolling his eyes at the criminal:

_**"He saw 'PRIORITY' and immediately concluded that the sample was related to him? Megalomaniac idiot..."** _

Patty fell in love at first sight along with hundreds of thousands of I.D. fans. During the DVD tour of the first 'Burette' movie, she'd admitted to having a celebrity crush on Barry Allen. Fans from the movie, I.D. and Barry's own fans had gone on a frenzy. Barry has a girlfriend, Becky Cooper, but everyone knows that she's his beard because he's bisexual and fucking Hartley Rathaway after every other suits and ties event. He's up for grabs.

Half of Barry's fans hate Patty for becoming his love interest on screen, while the other half acknowledges that she's a better fit for him than his fake-blonde high school sweetheart, born with a silver spoon in her mouth but incapable of making a name for herself despite her parents pulling dozens of strings. And that girlfriend is short, just like Iris West.

Iris West is pretty, true, but her 'goals' body is nothing out of the ordinary for an actress. Her delusional fans refuse to acknowledge that the only reason she and Barry were a thing until three whole years ago—which is an eternity in Hollywood time—was because _interracial couples_ were a hit back in the day. Iris' 'chemistry' with Barry was nothing special: Barry's got chemistry with everyone, and he's got it in spades with Patty as people will see when they watch the movie. West-Allen has nothing on 'Burrick', the ship name of Andy Burette and Barry's character Jay Garrick. There's no comparison whatsoever because Barry's worked with Patty for months, up to ten hours at a time whereas he only worked with Iris for photoshoots and the one wedding commercial. 

Anyways, if West were as talented as Allen, she'd be as famous as him by now since they started their careers at the same time in Central City and both had been trained by the best of the industry through the prestigious 'Imitating Life' acting program. Patty hasn't had that privilege, yet here she is, plain old hard work paying off. For all her charm and eloquence about social justice and representation of minorities in mainstream media, Iris hasn't been seen much in the past couple of years. Maybe she's more famous in the black entertainment industry, and Patty wishes her the best for a comeback in mainstream media, but for now nobody can claim that she's at the same level as Patty's, and she's light years away from Barry's level. Their 'West-Allen' fandom has gone silent in the past year, when they got tired of recycling old material. Patty only knows this because she follows Barry on social media and back then his activity on Instagram and Twitter involved liking and commenting on the fan page's posts on a regular basis. But he hasn't done that in a while, which shows that he's moved on. Which he should: he's far from being the cute nerdy boy of his debut. He's a confident and sexy nerd now, and his true fans have matured along with him whereas Iris' fans are stuck in nostalgia.

The 'West-Allen' fans maintain that the former CC High School prom queen and king are bound to reunite and blow Hollywood with another stellar performance, 'Gold Standard' style. Really? That 'Gold Standard' wedding commercial was so bland. Both Barry and Iris could've worn something more flamboyant to compensate for the simple design of the wedding bands being advertised. Or maybe the commercial was named after its producer, Keith Kenyon, nicknamed 'Goldface' because he is a cliché black 'artist' who constantly wears thick gold chains and gold rings. Barry probably regrets being associated with the classless man. Iris is probably still grateful for that gig because it was the only one that landed her on huge billboard signs. She'd be a nobody if not for it.

Anyways, Iris West isn't relevant right now. _Patty_ is, by Barry's side. They pose for thirty more seconds then walk further down the red carpet to answer generic questions asked by reporters from major news outlet like Central City Picture News, Entertainment-Central City, and Twin Cities Screen Time.

"Barry, Patty, you two look nice!" A young and pretty black reporter comes out of nowhere and engages them as they're about to enter the theater. Patty blinks at her terrible dye job and the tacky jewelry that she's using to take people's gaze away from her nice-looking but cheap dress. "I'm Spencer Young with Spyn Zone. Long time no see, Barry!"

Oh. _The_ Spencer Young? Patty has heard about the gossip blog 'Spyn Zone', which unofficially ousted Barry as bisexual three years ago by posting a picture 'suggesting' that Barry kissed Hartley Rathaway at some rich people's party: the camera captured Barry from the back, and he'd been holding up the openly gay man's glasses with one hand and grabbing his face with the other. The angle of the picture didn't allow the viewer to see whether or not Barry was actually bent over to kiss Hartley but it wasn't the first time that these two had been the talk of the town, as they'd definitely kissed when they were seniors in high school. Barry's never commented on the event, which further suggests that he truly kissed Hartley. During his spotlight interview as the new COO of Rathaway Industries, Hartley himself had claimed that Barry had simply been removing an eyelash that had fallen in his eye, but he'd been too playful when replying to the interviewer to be taken seriously.

(If it weren't for the torrid but unfortunately fake sex scene in their movie, Patty would be worried that Barry's actually gay. But he did look incredibly turned on by her when they filmed that scene in three takes, and when they'd wrapped up filming she'd tactlessly asked if it was all an act and he wasn't into women at all. He'd laughed and promised her he _was_ into women. In fact, he'd used the memory of his first time to get in character, and his first sexual partner had definitely been a girl.)

Patty presently eyes Barry, who gives Young his professional smile. Not many know that it's fake, and Patty wouldn't entertain a real life romance or at least a scandalous affair with him if he hadn't given her true smiles during interviews whenever he let the interviewer and audience know that working with her has been a pleasure both on and _off_ set. Well, off set they've had a couple of 'professional' dates. Granted, Barry did use those times to analyze the literary discourses of the movie and go over the questions that the producers and directors had given them green light to be candid about for interviews, as well as figure out different ways to deliver the prepared answers they were supposed to give for specific questions.

Patty was too impressed with Barry's professionalism to be disappointed that he hadn't touched her once during those dates. He'd been recovering from a cold, though. Maybe she should ask him out to review the premiere when they leave the theater? She tried to call him last night but he sent her an automated text saying that he couldn't pick up the phone and would call her back. He didn't, but he texted his apology early in the morning.

"Hey Spencer," Barry greets back, not overly enthusiastic but not cold either. "Yes, it's good to be back home. I didn't know that you covered movie premieres too."

"Oh, I _couldn't_ miss the opportunity to interview you!" The reporter boldly announces. "I owe it to my audience to give them what they ask for. First of all, congrats on landing your first leading role on the big screen! How did you get the role?"

Huh? Yes, Barry's more famous than Patty, but he does _not_ have the lead role. He even insisted on occupying slightly less room on the promo posters instead of appearing equally important. He's so humble, _and_ he truly cares about Patty being given her dues. He cares about _her_ , otherwise why would he bother? Men in this industry don't give a damn about acknowledging women's worth off cameras, not even the self-proclaimed feminists. Barry himself is a vocal social justice advocate on social media, but his parents are known to be bigots and he's never condemned them for their shallow views. Therefore, if he's defending Patty, it's because he's got a personal interest to do so.

"Thanks, it is technically my debut on the big screen. However," Barry replies politely as he removes his hand from Patty's shoulder and steps aside to reveal the movie poster behind them. "Patty's the lead actress of this _second_ movie of the 'Burette' franchise. Didn't do your homework, Miss Young?"

He asks that question with a fond chuckle, so the reprimand comes off as gentle, and Patty would take the time to admire his graciousness even in the face of such lack of professionalism if she wasn't majorly peeved by this B-list reporter. What the heck?

And the girl has the galls to stare back and forth between her and the poster.

"You're an actress too?" She dumbly asks. "I thought that you were Barry's _girlfriend_..."

Oh? Well, maybe soon, speak it into the universe and whatnot, but—

"...Patty Cooper!" Miss Young completes her sentence with a self-deprecating giggle.

Oxygen escapes Patty's lungs abruptly, like that time when her stunt double had knocked her down with a too strong hit with the knife of her hand on Patty's neck. But that had been an _accident_. Spencer Young is clearly trying to ridicule her, and she's sorely mistaken if she thinks that Patty will let her.

"Why? Because I've got blonde hair and blue eyes?" She challenges. "Becky's actually a ginger, she dyes her hair—"

"Yes, Becky's a redhead, just like my mom," Barry quickly intervenes and flashes a smile and briefly waves at the camera capturing the moment in images. "Hi mom!"

He forgot to greet his girlfriend too...Or did he simply ignore her because she isn't important to him? Oh wow, Patty can't wait to read her fans' analysis of this omission.

"Well, the woman on the poster has darker blonde hair and brown eyes," Spencer points out. "And she looks slimmer too..."

 _Oh my God_ , who let that bitch approach them?

"Yes because we're playing roles, as you can see my hair's longer and lighter in the movie," Barry explains with slow enunciation as if he's talking to a slow child, and that's an offense to children with special needs. "It's a wig by the way, and of course we're photoshopped, it's standard—"

"You know what's not photoshopped, though?" Spencer piggybacks on Barry's words incredibly fast. "A fan-recorded video of you and Iris West exiting Jitters last night!"

Patty's never, _ever_ seen Barry look taken by surprise unless it's part of the script. She herself has to school her own baffled expression because she feels like she's just participated in one of those dumb ice bucket challenges.

 _Last night?_ He couldn't pick up her phone call because he was hanging out with _Iris West?_

"That has nothing to do with the movie," the famous actor replies calmly, his face relaxed again. "If you'll excuse us!"

He extends his arm forward in an invitation for Patty to walk ahead of him, and she almost grabs his hand because they're supposed to shine together tonight, as 'Burrick', and maybe later shine as Patty and Barry when he finally dumps his beard...

But she gathers all the dignity she has, smiles at the camera of Spyn Zone and walks ahead, alone, experiencing exactly what Andy's supposed to when she amiably parts ways with Jay at the end of the movie.

After all, she's a nerdy FBI agent who's trying to find success in love as she accumulates career achievements, and he's a nerdy CIA agent. A spy who keeps secrets for a living.

It was never meant to be, was it?

* * *

"Hey guys, as you definitely expect, this is my official response to all the rumors and speculations going on right now."

That's how Barry starts the selfie video he's just posted on Twitter. He's all smiles and he looks more jovial than Patty's ever seen him, even in a video addressed to his fans. His cheeks are a bit rosy though, and he's a tiny bit breathless. Oh, his hair looks freshly washed, maybe he's showered right after exercising?

Patty herself has just returned from a yoga class she forced herself to go to because her dad kept commenting that a little exercise would help with her 'anxiety'. She's used the upcoming movie promo tour as an excuse for her moodiness, and though her detective father used to read her perfectly when she was a kid, nowadays he can't tell when she's lying. That's normal, she's a good actress. Not as good as Barry Allen, that goes without saying.

She really should've uninstalled all her social media apps. She's compulsively checked Barry's social media handles every hour to see if he's reacted to the tsunami of questions and speculations born out of Spencer Young's interview during the movie premiere a week ago.

He's waited an entire week to address the topic. He's dodged and redirected every single question bringing up the short clip showing him indeed exiting Jitters with Iris West. Patty caved in and watched the video for herself.

She'd reasoned that she had nothing to worry about since the premiere of the second movie was three times as profitable as that of the first one. In fact, 'Back to Basics' is predicted to keep rising in popularity because even the West-Allen fans are promoting it, so Patty rushed to check the video and Iris' fans comments about it. Maybe they themselves recognized that their idol didn't measure to her when it came to having chemistry with Barry?

She should've known better.

*

WestAllen Official Fanclub Retweeted

 **BAnumberonefan** @OGfan . 8h

#WestAllenIsBackBitches #WAve #SunkBurrickBeforeItEvenSailed

OGfan, you're the unsung hero who prepared us for the long-anticipated West-Allen comeback, aka the WAve. As of now, we don't know how intense it will be or how long it will last, but it's already sinking the Burrick ship. Hopefully its fans have lifeboats.

Those Burrick shippers, most of whom are Patty Spivot's fans, were looking down on us from their high horses not that long ago as we ALL excitedly prepared for the premiere of "Burette: Back to Basics". They claimed that Barry had moved on from us "nostalgic losers" and that their idol Patty Spivot (whose handle I didn't bother to look up) was our King's new queen. They seriously claimed that this regular blonde was a better fit for Barry (@BHAllen) than his girlfriend. Well, newsflash for you slow minds: ANYONE is a better fit for Barry than his FAKE GIRLFRIEND, but none comes closer to a perfect match than the OTQ Iris West (@IrisAnnWest).

Don't get us wrong, we'll keep supporting "Burette: Back to Basis" because we're loyal to Barry and he deserves a huge hit for his official debut on the big screen #LongLivetheKing

So this post is not a clap back to the classless Burrick fandom, because we true fans of Barry Allen don't condone violence. This is a warning to any fandom who's waiting for West-Allen to fall into the archives: it never will. West-Allen is FOREVER. How about YOU fall on your knees and respectfully hail Hollywood's future royal couple? I mean, look at them. OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK AT THEM.

527k💬 1M 🔁 12.2M♡ Share

*

And Patty had watched:

Iris walking out the door of that locally popular coffee shop, two cups in hands...because Barry had opened the door for her. And he was so close to her, there were sharing the same personal space. Iris had walked to what seemed to be her car, exchanging words with Barry who was smiling widely and looking down at his feet as if he was scared of falling.

They'd spent less than a minute talking by Iris' car, and though the viewer couldn't hear what they said Barry clearly mouthed two weeks as he made the peace sign. Iris had nodded as if in agreement, then she'd handed him what seemed to be his coffee before saying goodbye.

Only it wasn't his coffee, because Iris had startled after tasting hers while rounding up to her driver's door, then she'd called out to Barry, who'd frozen mid-step because he'd just tasted what was clearly her coffee, and he'd turned around and stared back at her. They'd burst in laughter then had walked to meet each other halfway in order to exchange their cups. Iris had said something, then they'd clinked their cups as if they were glasses of champagne. Iris had held up her cup in clear celebration of Barry, then they'd drunk from the exact sipping hole where the other had stuck their lips (not that they could've done anything else...lies, they could've gone back inside and changed lids). Iris had gone back to her car and driven off. Barry had watched her turn around the corner before blinking down at the sipping hole. It wasn't too clear but he'd seemed to blush, next had definitely sighed, then he'd taken a long sip of his coffee before walking away.

Alright, so Barry Allen has a crush on Iris West, big deal. That doesn't mean much. Plus, Barry hadn't gone anywhere with Iris, they'd clearly just grabbed coffee on the go, had probably bumped into each other in Jitters. They hadn't had any plans together. Patty can objectively tell that from the video, but the West-Allen fans are seeing whatever they wanted to see.

So Barry's new video better put to rest the unfounded rumors that he and West are planning something in two weeks then, which is one week from now, because that would be in the middle of their promo tour. To Patty's knowledge he hasn't announced any conflict of schedule that would excuse him from upholding his end of the contract. He doesn't have to go to all locations, so he could technically be free in two weeks, but—

"We wanted to wait until after I was done promoting the second 'Burette' movie," Barry claims softly before beckoning whoever was facing him to come over.

 _We?_ And was he actually blushing? Barry Allen _didn't_ blush unless it was in the script!

"Oh my God, _stop_ blushing, they're gonna think that I'm Iris!" An unknown woman's voice half-reprimands half-laughs in the video.

The face whom it belongs to pops up in the frame, from underneath Barry's arm.

An Asian-American woman, Korean-American maybe? 

"Sup guys, it's been forever!" She says, her words suggesting that she's well-known amongst Barry's fans. "For those who didn't know, I'm a movie director now, and Barry's accepted to lend me some credibility—"

"As if you haven't worked with big shots already," Barry argues as he shoulder-checks her.

" _Local_ big shots," she specifies then waves at the phone camera: "Shout out to Mr. Sherloque and all Central City's directors!" She hoots, and Barry follows her lead.

"This project is going to take a while to complete guys," the woman resumes, "so please be patient as I work on my masterpiece. No begging Iris or Barry for on-set pictures or shots of script pages. Radio silence until you hear an update from me and me alone."

"Alright, yeah, that's what Iris and I were discussing in that video that's circulating," Barry concludes after nodding at his friend's words. "It wasn't some secret meeting or anything, we bumped into each other—"

"I knew it!" Patty exclaimed under her breath, and she almost misses the unknown woman's next words as she laughs in relief.

"Wait, wait, we forgot to tell them that _West-Allen_ will be starring in my movie! Duh."

Patty exits the app and slams her phone on the table after seeing the way Barry smiled shyly and his gaze sparked with anticipation and longing at the same time.

What the hell? He's got a _girlfriend!_ How could he post a video where he looks so lovesick for a nobody actress he hasn't worked with in _three years?_ He's never looked at Patty like _that,_ not even when they were filming the emotional farewell scene of Andy and Jay.

Well, whoever that director is, she isn't famous enough for her film to be a greater success than Burette 2, even if Barry's and West-Allen fans promote it. 'Burrick' will sail proudly for several months.

Then it will _sink._ With Barry's contract exempting him from a DVD promo tour, he might not ask his fans to keep supporting the franchise, especially once they focus on his director friend's film.

Without Barry, the 'Burette' fandom will dwindle, and Patty might not even get her contract renewed for a third movie despite how well the second one is doing so far. She was supposed to get the news in a week...Oh.

Barry had known that, and he'd tried not to influence the producers' decision with the announcement of a new role because the movie director was thinking of persuading Barry to return for the third installment of a trilogy. But now he knows that Barry will be busy with another project, there definitely won't be a third movie.

As long as Barry stays with Becky Cooper, Patty's got no problem with that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	4. Always Hanging On To The Visual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony had known from the start that he and Iris wouldn't last forever, but he couldn't stand to be second to Barry fucking Allen anymore. It made him look like a loser, when he was the fucking best player out there. In and out of the field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MEH I don't know about this one. I tried to give Tony some dimension while still making him a typical jock...
> 
> Update as of June 8: made some minor changes after Tony lists Barry's achievements, and hopefully corrected general typos and such.
> 
> Little hint about West-Allen history in the end notes!

Even when she was crying, she looked so fucking hot. No, she looked pretty, and dignified, like some Disney princess. No, like a real life _queen._

Well, Tony shouldn't expect anything less from Iris West. The first time he'd seen her on the playground in first grade, he'd thought that she was so cool. She didn't give two shits about authority. Well, she did obey the teachers _after_ they lectured her for doing something against unspoken rules, and she never did the same mistake twice, but everyone had known back then that you could dare West to anything, and she'd raise to the challenge. Yet, she was so unpredictable when Tony interacted with her.

You see, there were two types of people at Carmichael Elementary School: those who were scared of him and avoided him as much as they could, and those who respected him and tried everything to be part of his team.

Then there was _Iris West._

She didn't make a face when the teacher paired her with him (even Tony's own friends weren't too happy about being around him _in class,_ ) but she got the work done and even made him enjoy the dumb activity; she chased after him every single time he pulled on her curly ponytail; she intimidated his friends; she even asked him for tips on how to throw a football.

At first, Anthony Stephen "Tony" Woodward had been sure that he and Iris Ann West would've been friends if it weren't for Bartholomew Henry _"it's Barry!"_ Allen.

Dude stuck to West like white glue, pun intended. Back then Tony thought that race jokes were okay because people weren't actually serious about the whole superiority complex thing, that's what his father always said...Yet, ironically, _Barry's_ mom is one of those people who feel superior because they're white. Wow. Maybe that's why Barry was so lame: to humble his parents or whatever they say in church about God punishing the next generation.

Iris had beaten up Tony good, that day when Nora Allen had showed up to school looking like some beautiful and cruel queen from a fairy tale. And back then Tony hadn't noticed that Iris was pretty on top of being cool, but yeah she definitely fit the role of the oppressed princess. Or maybe it's Allen who'd been the princess oppressed by his own jealous queen mother?

Like, Mrs. Allen had almost torn the arm that Barry had broken the year before, all that just to get him away from Iris. And when that had happened, Tony had been satisfied because _finally_ Allen was out of West's hair, so she'd stop fighting Tony because of that smurf.

The thing is, after that day, Iris stopped _playing_ like before. You know? Like she meant to have fun. She stopped trying to beat the boys by going higher, faster, or falling harder than them. She started sticking with Linda Park and the other girls. And she stopped talking to Tony outside of class.

Tony tried to act like he _didn't feel_ anything for being ignored by the coolest girl in school, but deep down it sucked.

It had sucked even more when, two years after the official friendship break up between West and Allen, Tony had caught the two of them playing together at that big playground where Tony practiced his sprints because he wanted to impress his uncle, a professional football player, the next time they had a family barbecue.

The first time he'd seen Iris and Barry there, Tony had just left and decided to come another day, because it looked like they were about to cry for no reason, and that was just lame. But every time he got there around four in the afternoon, he'd see them together again.

They weren't even playing, actually; they'd just sit on the swings and read Barry's comic books or actually do homework together. Doing _schoolwork on a fucking playground_. Only Allen could make Iris act _so lame_ , seriously.

For a couple of years, Tony had made sure to go to that playground much later in the afternoon to avoid seeing them, then he'd piggy-backed on his mom's gym membership to avoid all risks of seeing Allen, who sometimes lingered there after West left. To be honest, Tony had to stop going to that playground mostly because he'd been too tempted to kick his skinny whiny ass, just like in the good old days.

(Over ten years later, some time between the semester when Tony had taken that stupidly hard 'Math of the Human Body' class with Linda Park and graduation from CCU, Tony had learned that Allen had been so mopey because his mom was going through chemo.)

In eighth grade, after Tony's sprained ankle had fully healed, he'd dumbly rushed to that playground to practice some sprints because he'd needed some fucking fresh air. He hadn't been worried about seeing West and Allen together there because it had been clear that they'd truly stopped hanging out together a while back. Iris had become a cheerleader, which was so cool because now she and Tony were both part of the cool kids crowd. And Allen? He'd become whatever losers became when they found other losers like themselves. There was no way that they even remembered that playground. Tony had only thought of it because he'd been unable to go any-fucking-where for forever.

Therefore, he was absolutely unprepared to see Allen, who'd grown taller than him (but he was still skinny as a beanpole) holding Iris in his arms, princess style. Tony had almost kept walking until they'd see him because _what the fuck?_ Iris was the coolest _and_ prettiest girl at school and all the cool guys were betting on themselves to be her first boyfriend, but the _king of the nerds_ was already her secret boyfriend?

Turned out, he wasn't. As Tony calmed down from his outrage, he saw Iris hop off Allen's arms, do some coordinated steps, then do a flip that Tony hadn't expected her short legs to be able to do. Then Barry had lifted her up from the waist and thrown her high in the air (skinny, but _not weak_ ) and caught her again, but this time he'd quickly dropped her down and she'd done one of those cheerleaders poses and had shouted the school's motto.

Oh, Allen was helping her practice some _cheer choreography_. Duh, West wouldn't give that loser the time of the day if it weren't to make him useful in some way.

After paying more attention to Iris the following weeks, Tony had found out why she was counting on her neighbor with the racist parents to practice her cheer routine on weekends: many girls were jealous of her, as they should be, but even her cheer _teammates_ were making her look like the odd one out. Literally, only Linda Park was Iris' true friend, the other ones were just tagging along to collect popularity points.

And that's when Tony had realized that his own friends were fake too. Sneaking up on West and Allen had helped him gain some stealth, and he'd eavesdropped on some locker room talk...Not that kind of talk, though hearing the way his boys talked about Iris made him angry. But no, the highlights of the talks were the jealous comments his teammates made about _him_. They all acted like he was just naturally good and showing off, like he wasn't spending extra time perfecting his sprints and jumps and tackles. Fucking losers, all of them.

You know who wasn't a loser after all, though? Barry fucking Allen. He was still lame, but somehow he went from nerd to winner. Dude had become every girl's dream boyfriend overnight, and he was modeling now, like what the hell.

And of course he worked with Iris! Were those two planning to keep their buddy system running for the rest of their lives or what? At least Iris had started dating, and oh, right, of course she'd date _black guys._ Why had Tony thought that she'd risk having her boyfriend's parents be racist by dating a white guy? Tony's parents weren't lame like Allen's, they were cool, but his uncle sounded a bit 'prejudiced' sometimes. That was a fair generalization.

Anyways, there was no way in hell that West and Allen were _like that,_ though that school play in senior year had made Tony freak out, like the rest of CC High. Barry had totally kissed Iris one time too many. Tony's then girlfriend's best friend's chem lab partner had been part of the play, and she'd told everyone that there wasn't supposed to be a kiss in that scene, that Iris had taken advantage of that to kiss Allen because he was better-looking than her boyfriend David. What a dumb lie! Anyone who wasn't green with envy towards Iris had clearly seen that it was Allen who'd fucking frenched her in front of students, teachers and parents alike.

(Had his parents been there? Now that would've been golden!)

In any case, Mr. Sherloque's stupid play had started the school-wide rumors that Iris and Barry were dating each other.

Rumors that had been immediately proven wrong when Allen was ousted for being fucking gay on the day of the homecoming game. Tony had been so pissed for having his thunder stolen for weeks. Instead of celebrating his election as homecoming king, Tony's teammates had gossiped like grade schoolers about that loser of Barry being brave for still hanging out with that rich kid Rathaway. No, he fucking wasn't!

But hey, on the bright side, Tony had kinda figured out Allen's weirdo-ness all the way in first grade. The guy was too girly! So, he was a black girl's gay friend with bigot parents, how cliché was that? Just as cliché as getting a fake blonde with undersized push up bras as his fake girlfriend, but Tony had to admit that Allen getting Becky Cooper as his beard was a smart move. Tony had done her, she was good, she might even turn Allen around, at least turn him bi like Allen's buddy Ramon claimed he was.

(Seven years later, and Cooper was still failing at doing her one job.)

Even with Allen all the way in Star City, it took until senior year of college for Tony to approach Iris at CCU, because he'd had to make sure that her being all social justice warrior princess didn't mean that she was anti-man and anti-white. Of course she wasn't, because she was still the coolest person on this planet.

That 'Gold Standard' commercial had hurt Tony's pride a bit, because once again Allen had stolen his spotlight during homecoming season. The guy was a prom king, why didn't he make the buzz at the end of the school year instead of always taking the spotlight at the beginning, huh?

Anyways, Iris hadn't made a big deal out of the commercial—even though the whole fucking world had watched it at least ten times—so neither had Tony. Plus, her popularity had meant that the first time he'd showed up to a party with her at his arm after going professional, he'd felt even better than after signing his brand new contract. Every fucking guy in the room and patio had envied him, every girl had wanted to be on his other arm. He'd known that Allen couldn't top that with Becky. What did Becky even do for a living? Smile and act classy, when she was anything but? Iris was an actress, but she didn't fake her classiness. She'd been fucking elegant since she was six years old.

It was too bad that Iris' own career got her traveling all over the place just like Tony's, because none of the groupies he messed around with was actually worth the guilt he felt when he reunited with his main chick. He'd tried to convince West that showing up with him to public events would be better for her popularity than all the gigs she did with Park, but Iris was super loyal to her best friend, and he respected that. Tony himself wished he had someone as tight as Park as his sidekick, but who needed a brother from another mother when one was rich, famous, was dating the most beautiful woman in the world _and_ could still have his pick from his millions of fangirls to fuck when the games stressed him out more than usual? 

The year that Allen had returned in Iris' life in force was the year that Tony had led his team to the Superbowl, so he'd been too damn busy to watch over his girl. He'd been so careful giving a hundred percent during practice and real games, being careful not to injure himself, that he'd been on autopilot for everything else, including fooling around with the readily available groupies.

But it was after fucking a couple of girls in Metropolis that Tony had realized that Iris might be fooling around too. With none other than Barry fucking Allen.

Again? What the fuck was wrong with those two? Couldn't they stop making Tony double-guess what they were really all about?

One of Tony's regular fans from home is actually a fan of Barry too (that has offended Tony more than anything else in this mess), and she'd flown all the way to Metropolis to get her free tickets for the Superbowl even though he would've seen her in Central City as usual a few days later. He'd literally made the effort to ask his agent for tickets just for her. Anyways, after their little tumble in the sheets, she'd lingered around because an interview of the now 'famous actor' had been broadcast on his hotel TV that night.

Allen has become some big shot in Hollywood because he's won some phoney award for his role in a movie that Tony had been forced to watch by his parents, who wanted to support 'another talent from Central City'. But instead of asking him questions about his work with the lead actress of that movie, 'Buried' or 'Sunk' or something, the interviewer had drilled Allen with questions about Iris. Fucking hell, it had sounded like the interviewer believed that Barry was Iris' boyfriend. Such an ignorant reporter would've been fired the same night in the sports industry. Maybe. Hopefully.

Thing was, that interviewer wasn't the only one who was ignoring the fact that Iris West was Tony's girlfriend. How could Tony Woodward, one of the fucking best football player in the damn country, be overshadowed by a gay-maybe-bi phoney actor?

And don't ask Tony how that YouTube video, 'Why You Should Ship West-Allen' had showed up in his recommendations the day after Allen's movie promo interview. He didn't fucking know.

He knows now that he shouldn't have watched it. He'd believed the narrator so hard that he'd made sure to get caught the next time that he slept with another girl. Not at some hotel out of state, at his loft in Central City. Iris was in town doing some modeling jobs and she had her keys, so he'd known that she'd drop by. His fridge was always fuller than hers.

To add insult to injury, the woman Tony slept with, Karen, hadn't fucking known that he was Iris West's boyfriend either. The whole damn world thinks that she's with Allen. 

So why should Tony have thought otherwise?

Isn't that why Iris packing the few items she has at his place, crying without even asking him why he cheated on her? She knows what she's done: she thought that she could play him by two-timing him with Barry fucking Allen. 

Well, the two of them might be actors who play different roles for a living, but Tony's paid to play and _win_ every single time.He hasn't won a Superbowl just to lose to All-lame.

"At least we're even right?" Tony comments snarkily as he watches Iris shove something red and lacey in her overnight bed.

Fuck, _shit_ , Iris West is the sexiest woman in the world and he's dumping her!

"I didn't disregard your feminist values of—" He tries to say something smart, because damn it, he hadn't thought this through, _at all._

"For the thousandth time, Tony, I'm a _womanist_ , not a feminist," Iris indeed corrects him again, her voice watery but stern as she turns around to glare at him. "And what does that mean, that we're even?"

"Don't play innocent," he chides her with a shrug of his shoulders. "Everyone and their grandma knows that Allen's doing you. I was just returning the favor."

Tony knows that his girlfriend (ex-girlfriend) is an underrated actress, but he's very impressed by the shock she displays on her face.

"This is about _Barry?_ " She dares question him, sounding angry now. "All this time I thought that _you knew_ that he and I only have a strictly professional—"

"Professional?" He echoes with a humorless laugh. "West, there's nothing _professional_ about the way Allen gushes about you in interviews watched by the entire fucking world, knowing that he's got a long-term girlfriend."

Iris' left eyebrow twitches, which means that she's annoyed by the nonsense she's hearing. Tony knows that because she whined about not being able to suppress that tick while filming some cool Indie movie with someone who wasn't Linda for once.

"You're probably used to him worshipping the ground you walk on, though, must be why you didn't worry about me finding out," Tony comments. "To be honest, I wouldn't have, if _your own_ fucking fans hadn't ousted you two. And what the fuck with the 'shipping' thing? I thought that trend had died a while back? And isn't it supposed to be about pairing _fictional characters_ together? You and Allen haven't been in anything together since that dumb wedding commercial."

"Dumb," Iris whispers back. "Did you just call my job 'dumb'? You're an entertainer just like me!"

"Woah, woah, you can't compare acting and sports, please," he denies firmly before unplugging that cutesy charger of hers, the one with the pink star stickers on it. He hands it over. "I work my ass off..."

"And I what?" Iris shouts as she tears the cable and charging head off his hand without even checking if it's actually hers.

(Wait, _is it_ actually hers? It has to be, right, Karen complained about her phone dying last night, but she has an android so he couldn't help.)

"I just memorize my lines, work on my accents, practice different body languages with a snap of my fingers? Is that it?" She asks rhetorically. " Even if I were a mediocre actress—"

"No, you're a great actress Iris, I know that. My bad," he apologizes. "You're actually underrated, and that's because you've been in Allen's shadows for a while, don't you think? I know that any publicity is good publicity, but seriously, being known for two-timing me with him is going to hurt you. My fans and his are gonna tear you down."

She gapes at him, looking dumbfounded.

"You really think that..." she starts, but huffs in frustration. "It's not like _that_ between us, it's not!" She adds before letting out a nervous laugh while rubbing her forehead and shaking her head.

Ah, so _that's_ where Tony had gotten that déja vu feeling when he'd seen Allen make the exact same move during his movie promo interview, except he'd then rubbed the back of his neck as if in afterthought.

Tony knows that Iris and Barry have been on and off filming something directed by Linda, but for them to develop the same tick? Iris didn't have that tick before Park's stupidly secret project...Right? Maybe she did, Tony hasn't seen her for more than a few days at a time in the past year...Fuck, he should've watched over his girl!

But shouldn't Allen have the decency to dump Becky before stealing someone else's girlfriend? Huh?

"The nerve of you to talk about fans tearing me down," Iris brings up angrily, though she mostly looks so composed, as if she doesn't give a real shit.

As if, for the past three years, she's just been playing another role.

"When I just caught one of your so-called fans doing the walk of shame!" She points out, and alright, that's fair. 

"Yet _I'm_ the one two-timing?" Iris asks, her volume suddenly going up and her mask of serenity crumbling. "What the hell, Tony? I would never cheat on you! Why would I...We were _good!_ Why did you...What did I ever do to..."

She starts sobbing, and now Tony isn't too sure that it's all an act.

"Iris, your not-so-secret relationship with Allen is all over the internet," he reminds her as evenly as his jealousy allows his voice to ring.

Fucking Allen. Always him.

**Barry Allen, Student Of The Year** —Tony had ended up number twenty three on that dumb list in high school; 

**Barry Allen, Sexiest Man Of Central City** , _twice_ —Tony had come up fourth and second place, respectively; 

_**"Barry Allen on his fifth cover on Entertainment: Central City"**_ —Tony is the best paid athlete of the entire South and Midwest, yet he's only been on that magazine cover _twice!_

**_"Barry Allen finally makes the cover of Entrepreneurs, sharing it with his best friend, biotech company's CEO Cisco Ramon"_** —Tony didn't give a fuck about that magazine. Iris herself had called it 'elitist' because it only featured exceptional business people. She'd said that it should advertise financial success as something attainable for everyone, not just geniuses and celebrities!

Allen has twenty million followers on Instagram right now, twenty fucking million! That's higher than the number of people in Central City! Which is fourteen million people, Tony's number of followers on Instagram...

And Iris, who indeed work her ass off, only has _five million followers._ That's less than the difference between the number of Allen's fans and Tony's. 

(Fuck, how is he only noticing the unfairness of it all _now?_ She deserves way more than that. Way more.)

At least their local entertainment industry knows Iris' worth: she's been on more magazine covers than Tony and Barry combined, though quite a few times she's shared the cover with Allen. 

But never with Tony. 

They've been together for three fucking year, yet no local magazine editor has ever thought: _"Hey, how about we attract more readers by baiting them with a cover featuring the best quarterback in the history of Central and the first black actress from Central City to appear on a commercial broadcast worldwide? Central City High School's homecoming king and prom queen?"_

Of course not! Everything has to be about West-Allen, huh?

"Barry and I are _not_ in a secret relationship!" Iris denies as she throws her bag on the floor, her voice coming back down. "I can't believe that _you'd_ believe that crap about me! I know that you've never liked Barry, but I'm...I was your girlfriend, Tony! _You_ were supposed to trust me!"

"Iris," he says, suddenly feeling silly and guilty.

Nowhere in that YouTube video did Allen and Iris kiss, except the clip from the wedding commercial; There wasn't even a blurry paparazzi photo like the one about Allen and Rathaway. Barry might look smitten whenever he talks about Iris, but he doesn't when he's in her presence. Iris does sound more fond when she talks about Allen than when she talks about other actors and actresses, but she's not that effusive when she's in his presence. Whenever the two of them share a screen they're the epitome of professionalism, because...because...

Don't they just look happy praising one another because they've been some odd type of friends since first grade? Iris was there for Barry when his mom was sick, Allen was there for Iris when her teammates were alienating her.

Tony had realized back then that Linda was loyal to Iris, but he'd failed to see that despite Allen's parents being racists; despite Iris being a popular girl and Allen a nerd; despite them going to different colleges then and hanging out in different Hollywood crowds now...

They'd stuck together, like _real friends_ do. Tony's been nonsensically projecting his feelings for Iris onto Allen, but the guy's fucking _gay!_ He probably blushes every time someone mentions Iris because they keep forcing the image of him fucking a vagina into his head! And Iris isn't _that_ cheerful when she talks about Allen. Tony remembers seeing her smile widely in an interview when she'd been asked about her romantic relationship with him. Him Tony, her _official_ boyfriend. She's never smiled like that for Allen. She had even sent Tony a clip with that part of the interview because she'd thought that he'd be too busy with practice to watch the whole thing. 

She's been such a good girlfriend, and he's been a fucking asshole to her the whole damn time. He's been taking her for granted for three years, after spending over sixteen years pining after her. What a loser!

"This world we live in," Iris resumes as she picks up her bag, sounding defeated, "it's full of backstabbers and opportunists who'd walked over the carcasses of other people's careers to get their roles...You, Linda, and Barry are basically the only people in this industry who I know I can trust."

_Shit_ , yeah, of course. Iris is still surrounded by jealous women who feel threatened by her beauty, even though many of them get more major roles than her. It's just that Iris' acting generates more discussion for longer since the critics actually have things to say about _her_ performances.

"And for the past year I haven't been able to see you or Linda that often," West keeps going as she looks around checking that she hasn't forgotten anything. "And even though it's Linda who's brought us together for her movie, Barry and I have been seeing each other more often than Linda and I. We've been catching up on each other's projects. Like two _work friends_ who know that they don't have to compete with each other! So no, I'm not underrated because I'm in Barry's shadows. I'm underrated because I'm a woman and most importantly I'm black. I know that the racial divide might look inexistent in football because there are so many black players, but believe me ba—Tony, believe me, you make more money than the dozen of black players who've got better stats than you."

"There aren't a dozen of them," Tony objects with a frown. "Maybe two or three. I'm the best paid..."

Ah. Shit.

"Right," Iris comments with a huff before hefting the straps of her bag over her shoulder. "Anyways, that wasn't my point. My point was that I look so comfortable around Barry because I know him and he knows me, professionally and...I—I thought that you understood that, but clearly you don't."

Professionally _and?_

"Professionally and...?" Tony repeats out loud, because _maybe_ he's actually right to be ending this?

The glare Iris gives him makes him feel shorter than her.

"You want to know the whole truth, don't you, _babe_? Well, I don't owe it to you anymore," she declares, and he's never heard her sound so...vicious. 

Iris isn't the stereotypical angry, ghetto black woman, Tony's always been aware of that. She's educated, classy, and always poised. Somehow, right now she reminds him of Mrs. Allen of all people.

Ah, it's the righteously outraged queen vibe thing. A universal role for women, clearly.

"What I can tell you is that Barry and I talk quite often," Iris let him know. "Well, we mostly text each other, but we call sometimes. As _friends from work,_ because being in the same industry as me gives him an insight into what I experience on a regular basis, that even you wouldn't have being my...being my ex. It feels nice to hear genuine concern and sympathy from someone who's not Linda, because Linda doesn't need me to explain what I have to go through being a woman of color in the show business. She knows what it's like, she's living it along with me."

"What does race have to do with anything?" The quarterback questions, his confusion doubling when Iris scoffs.

"I don't know why I bothered," she throws at him. "I don't know why I wasted three years of my life on a relationship I knew would lead nowhere. Well, like I said, we were good... _Easy._ We have history, you and I, don't we? I thought that I'd already seen the worst of what you could do, so I'd never be negatively surprised. It was a calculated, yet such a naive move."

"I don't get it," Tony humbly admits, because he'd like to understand what she's talking about.

 _Allen_ gets it, doesn't he? That's what she's implying.

"I was sick of having boyfriends who seemed to find some pride in reminding me that yeah, my life sucks, but at least I don't get racially profiled by the police," the actress tells him. "Which is such a lie. But you don't give a shit about that, do you? It's none of your business. Half of the people you interact with on the field are black men, but past the bleachers you don't really care what happens to them."

"What? No, that's not true!" Tony corrects her immediately. "I don't care about _any_ of the other players, sometimes not even my own teammates. It's not like we're friends out of the field! Why should I care?" 

"That's okay, Tony," she lies with a shrug of her shoulders. "Like I said, I knew that you would never bring up the race card and I was fine with that. Or at least, I _thought_ that I was fine with that...That changed when I saw that you have fourteen million followers on Instagram, yet..."

"Wait, wait!" He requests with a raised hand, glad that he'd realized that her fandom was way too small not five minutes ago. "You declined my invitations all the times I wanted you to make public appearances with me to increase your popularity—"

"As your girlfriend? _Boy please!_ " She exclaims then laughs, a mean sound that he's glad he's spent three years blissfully ignorant of its existence.

It makes him feel dumb and _lame._

"I was a professional model at sixteen years old, when you were still learning the intricacies of your sport's rules," she reminds him. "I've been on twenty two magazine covers, and seven of them aren't even from local publications. How many covers have you made?"

"Ten," his mouth replies automatically, because he's been so proud of his milestone.

Iris' smirk makes him want to run, anywhere where she's not standing in her full glory, a goddess of beauty and wrath at the same time. See, he's getting all poetic even. So lame.

"Even though you're 'the best paid athlete of the South and the Midwest', huh?" she comments, and he's grateful that she doesn't try to imitate his voice while quoting him. She actually gets his accent and pitch perfectly, it's just the octave that's wrong.

"So what if you're underrated? It's not _my_ fault!" Tony defends despite himself, despite knowing that it's the wrong thing to say. "If you never wanted your reputation as my girlfriend to contribute to your popularity on Instagram, why should you be...upset about the gap between us? Which is an unfair comparison! Yeah we're both entertainers, but more people watch sports than movies! You should compare yourself to _Allen!_ He's got twenty million followers, that's six more millions than me! His fanbase is _four times_ bigger than yours! Why aren't you complaining about that, huh? If you have such a tight professional relationship, he should be helping you out!"

He momentarily feels victorious when she blinks in surprise. He can't believe that she hadn't expected that. Maybe because Allen isn't her boyfriend? But she just said that she didn't want to be defined by her private status.

"I wasn't talking about the number of your followers to debate popularity," she argues after letting out a short sigh. "I wanted to point out that your page is _so white_ , whereas your fanbase is very diverse. It's alienating, but I never wanted to engage your fans and consequently create the illusion that you're an ally—as I said, I didn't expect that from you, but it ended up bothering me. That's on me."

"And you're comparing my page to Allen's, because he's an SJW?" Tony concludes, feeling angry. "That's because his own parents are bigots! He's fucking gay or bi or both, and he's probably been on a mission to end racism since his mother looked down on you at Charmichael!"

Her eyebrows go high, then higher, then she rolls her eyes. Is she blushing?

"Yet he's _still_ not helping you 'professionally'," Tony keeps going. "Or if he does, his efforts aren't reflected on Instagram!"

"I don't only post on my personal account," Iris tells him, and he doesn't know how that justifies Allen's lack of support.

"I spend more time on Instagram managing the official West-Allen account," she adds with a tilt of her head. "How many followers do you think it has?"

Huh?

"Isn't that a page ran by fans?" He asks back, because he has no idea.

"The one on Twitter is," Iris specifies. "But everyone, I mean _the fans_ know that I'm behind the Instagram account. That's why it was so inactive for the past few years, because I didn't have much to share about me and Barry. Our professional relationship was limited to texting and calling. No joint gigs—"

"How many followers?" Tony wants to know now.

"Fifteen million," Iris answers without missing a beat. "That's five million less accounts than Barry's personal fanbase, granted, but it's ten million more than my personal fanbase. A lot among those ten millions are fans who understand that despite him being an amazing ally to minority groups, Barry's experience is still a privileged one. I answer a lot of questions in DMs about the difference between working on my own and working with Barry, who in many occasions acts like a shield...or a sword, against discrimination."

"What?" The footballer reacts.

Was she calling Allen a knight in a shiny armor? She didn't need _saving!_ Look at how she was taking him down right there!

"For some time I wouldn't let Barry defend me against racists and sexists," Iris recounts as she shrugs her right shoulder to push up the bag strap sliding down. "I thought it made it look too personal, him helping me, when there had been so many rumors about us already. But after all the sociology classes I took at CCU, I figured out that...It's his privilege, his power, why shouldn't he _use it?_ If his mom could make me feel like less than a human being, if half of the industry can voluntarily and systematically, even _instinctively_ bring me down or pretend that I don't exist or that I don't belong in the same room as them, all so _they_ can feel powerful, all so they can feel _better than me..._ Why can't Barry do the opposite?"

"Well, it's just so he can feel better himself!" Tony points out.

"By trying to make _me_ feel better because some dumbass ruined my mood in the first place? That's _fair!_ " She argues. "You're not racist, Tony, I know that. But wouldn't you want me to enjoy myself at all those parties that you wanted me to attend?"

Was that a trick question? What did parties have to do with social justice?

"Of course I'd like you to enjoy yourself," he goes with his instincts. "That's what parties are for!"

"But how would I enjoy myself if there were racist douchebags among the partygoers, huh?" She questions him. "Not 'if', let's be honest: there's always some racist douchebag at those huge parties. People who would know that I'm—I mean, people who would've known that I _was_ your girlfriend, but still would've felt comfortable making stupid comments about my hair, my makeup, my body...Because they follow you on social media and they know that you're _colorblind_."

Tony has to repeat the words in his head twice even though he's pretty sure that he got what she means the first time around.

"You know why you keep bringing up feminism even though I'm a womanist? Because _you_ are the feminist, Tony," Iris declares, but it doesn't sound like she's proud of him for it. "You acknowledge the divide between genders, you're vocal about women empowerment, and I commend you for that. There's a sadly high number of men who think that we women have it easy just because we have it _easier_ than the generations of women before us."

Tony just nods. Being a feminist shouldn't be anything special. As he grew up, Tony started disliking the whole 'behind a great man is a great woman' saying, because yeah, women are mostly told to stay behind, to stay discreet, not to outshine the guys. Even moms tell their daughters, right? To be extra quiet, less messy. Nothing wrong with wearing pink, but if a girl gets lectured extra for dirtying a pink dress while a boy gets a fond smile for dirtying his blue shirt and khakis shorts...

Iris is the one who made Tony realize that there was a double standard, and that it was wrong. He wouldn't have noticed if Iris hadn't been the one girl being as daring as most of the boys. Tony remembers calling Iris a 'tomboy' because that's what the dictionary and society said back then (not anymore, right?): a girl playing as hard as a boy wasn't a girl, she was a tomboy. Even though Iris is clearly female and her name is much prettier than the overused male name Tom. It was years later, when he remembered being upset that Iris had stopped playing like she used to, that he'd realized that Iris had stopped acting like 'Iris', not like some generalizing term 'tomboy'. Since then, Tony had actively worked to rewire his brain in order to reject sexist or misogynist values or whatever the appropriate term is.

"A womanist doesn't worry just about gender inequality," Iris educates him. "A womanist worries about gender inequality within a cultural and socioeconomic context."

"Okay," he acknowledges with a deeper nod this time. "That makes sense, because you deal with gender discrimination but also racial discrimination and um...black culture is often undermined but at the same time everyone likes to blast hip hop on speakers and thinks that afros are cool, so...Yeah, I get it—I get it now."

"Good," Iris replied with a flat smile before she starts walking away. "It's great, and it's never too late to start being an ally, Tony...But it's too late for you and me."

"Allen's not better than me!" He blurts out. "He understood stuff earlier because his parents are extreme. And because he's LGBT...Q.A. You know that, West. It's not fair that you're not giving me a chance to see your point of view. We could've had this conversation a long time ago, and I would've been a better—"

"A better ally, yes," Iris cuts him off. "But not a better _boyfriend_ , Tony. You might be dumping me because you have this ridiculous inferiority complex towards Barry, but I'm walking out without fighting for our relationship because I've realized that you've been cheating on me _the entire time._ I don't know why I thought that you'd be different from the majority of professional athletes. Like I said, it was a calculated but naive move. You accused me of two-timing without proof, when you're the serial cheater. That's beyond disrespectful. It would be hilarious too, if it wasn't breaking my heart and bruising my ego," she says as she stops by the vanity next to the door.

Tony almost lies, he almost tells her that Karen was just because he thought that she'd cheated on him first.

But he sees that, along with her key, she's dropped the phone charger. The one with the pink star stickers. He remembers now that it's not Iris' charger, it's—

"Joan got engaged last month, didn't she?" Iris asks, her eyes on the charger. "I'm still on the CCU Cheer Facebook group. I congratulated her, but when she said thanks back she didn't ask me to show up at the wedding like she did for the others. I had no intention of going to the wedding anyways, but...Wow. She's a big fan of Barry's, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, since sophomore year of high school," Tony confirms. 

Iris scoffs.

"I don't get it," she admits with a shrug that makes her adjust her bag. "You bullied other kids back in elementary school. Some guys from our classes at CC High and CCU are on high profile career paths. Why _Barry?_ "

"His mom's racist!" He can't help raising his volume, maybe it's because she's turned around and is giving him a skeptical look. "And he doesn't call her out for it! He's all famous and talks big, but I know that he wouldn't defend you if..."

He closes his mouth shut when Iris lets out a mocking snicker as she opens the door.

"Barry wouldn't defend me in front of his parents?" She paraphrases him as she turns halfway from him. "You're probably right, but since he's been defending me from _everyone else_ behind my back since we were six years old, I'll give him a pass for that. Nobody's perfect."

"What do you mean since he was six years old?" Tony questions. "He didn't know what racism was until he was at least eight!"**

"True," Iris acknowledges, "Barry wasn't a womanist or LGBTQA ally back then, but he already was a _feminist_ , so he did defend me from stupid playground comments about me. You of all people should know that."

She fully turns away from him, walks out and quietly closes the bedroom door behind her before Tony can ask her what she means. He doesn't bother catching up to her before she walks out the front door. Actually he _would_ bother if his delayed understanding of what she meant wasn't freezing him on the spot. 

Tony should know that Barry's been a feminist since he was a midget because...

On that weird day at Carmichael Elementary School, Mrs. Allen had showed up because Tony, Barry and Iris had fought. Or rather, Tony had beaten up Barry, and Iris then had beaten up Tony.

Barry had started it. He'd pushed Tony hard from behind. Because Tony had called him a girl...

No. No, Allen didn't care what people called him. He knew that he was a lame loser no matter what. So that wasn't the reason why...

Oh.

It was because Tony had called Iris a tomboy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! 
> 
> With everything's going on right now, with everything that's been going on in this country since before it became a country, I didn't feel like diluting the race talk that much. I still hope that it didn't take away from the entertainment part of this fic!
> 
> ** in case you don't remember: in chapter one, Cisco remembers Barry telling him that he realized why his mom called Iris 'that girl' when he was 13, which is why he got the tattoo of her coded name and birthday. But from Linda and Tony's POVs, it's hopefully clear that Barry figured it out when he was 8, and Iris didn't deny that. Of course they're not Barry, they don't actually know what goes on in his head. However...


	5. And Yet, A Masterpiece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise extended trailer is played to the audience of panel of the TV show "I.D.: Incoming Danger" at the Star City Comic-Con.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying something different! I thought that a movie trailer would be appropriate for an Actors!AU. There's no specific POV here, just the fans, I guess. This movie gets mentioned in future chapters.
> 
> Check out the link, friends! Just to see the opening propaganda painting, at least. 
> 
> The movie introduced in this fictional story based on a fictional universe (fictionception 😝) is based on real historical events. Soviet communism/socialism had an ideology of international expansion ('imperial West', hypocrites much?). Many times, the Soviet propaganda fed on the outrage over the contemporary racial injustices in the U.S. (2020, same old 😔) to portray capitalism as evil (I see no lie) and socialism as righteous (not theirs 🙄). It even inspired and contributed to the Civil Rights movement and the Independence waves of African countries from Western European governments. In fact, quite a few black people left the USA and the African continent to live in Soviet Russia, Ukraine, etc. during the Cold War era, and some stayed even after the Union dissolved. In case you ever wondered how so many people from Motherland Africa are citizens of Motherland Russia LOL.
> 
> Again, apologies for the blatant real-life sentiments seeping through, I tried not to be too preachy but, you know...I hope that the chapter is still entertaining!
> 
> Future chapters list in the end notes!

The crowd quiets down when Oliver Queen puts a finger over his lips, and the huge screen above the cast's table switches on as the lights in the vast room gradually go dim, then are turned off.

_The trailer starts with a series of bird-view shots of some building in ruins and ashes while one of those dark, suspenseful instrumental tracks plays in the background. The last image of the destroyed site switches into a printed picture that's only one of many pieces of an investigation file, placed on a metallic table._

**"They said that this was just a warning," a handsome but somber-looking black man in FBI gear tells a blonde man giving his back to the viewer. The blonde guy's the one looking at the file, sitting in one of the two chairs in the room, while the black man stands, a sealed manilla envelope tucked under his arm.**

**"And they claimed that they have enough to level two entire blocks of the city," he adds.**

**"Enough of _what_?" The blonde man asks, and if the viewer hasn't yet identified him by his voice, the camera switches to the FBI visitor badge displaying a passport format picture, with his name below it: Green, Archer.**

The Comic-Con audience roars in excitement.

**"What kind of bomb could raze a concrete building to the ground so thoroughly?" The protagonist of the popular TV show 'I.D.' asks with a frown as he shuffles through the pictures.**

**"That's why I called you here," the black man declares as he grabs the manilla envelope with both hands, unseals it, then slowly opens it. "I need your help to identify the make of the bomb."**

**"Bomb Tech training was a long time ago, Vet," Archer tells the black guy with an apologetic shake of his head. "Even at my best I didn't know half of what your bomb squad—"**

**"My bad," Vet in question interrupts him as he retrieves another file from the envelope and drops it on the table. "I need your help to _convince_ one of your forensic scientists to help us identify the make of the bomb...Without him freaking out."**

_The camera focuses on Detective Green as he frowns at the closed file, and his eyes widen in shock at whatever he sees._

_The camera shifts to the file, which is a profile from A.R.G.U.S., a secret service agency_ _. On the top left corner is the picture of a young and innocent-looking white guy with bright red hair, freckles, and green eyes._

**"Nerd?!" Green exclaims dramatically.**

The shouts, screams and whistles from the Comic-Con audience overpowers the resuming dark music.

_The next scene opens at the SCPD foresincs lab where the 'nerd', whose dark brown hair is likely dyed, gingerly slides a couple of pages down an empty corner of a lab bench towards Green. It looks like a report of some lab results._

**"This is bad," the forensics scientist declares quietly, looking apprehensive. "That's a highly customized cocktail of chemical explosives. Think homemade octanitrocubane, but with extra agents that control its diffusion. The formula is definitely Soviet."**

**"You mean _Russian_ ," Archer corrects him.**

**"I mean _Soviet_ ," the lab tech insists. "Come on, Detective, I know that you've read my file. That's why I'm still free, right? They're willing to turn a blind eye if I provide the intel that will show how to successfully disable the next bomb."**

**Green stares at him warily, and the nerd stares back without blink.**

**"Can you really teach the FBI how to safely diffuse this kind of bomb, Nerd?" The cop asks sternly, looking skeptical as he taps the paper of the report.**

**"I can't do it _alone_ ," the other man answers, "I'm just a chemist. But I know _someone_ who can help with the detonation system itself..." he squints his eyes then tilts his head. "The FBI will find our combined assistance... _invaluable,_ as long as we're both guaranteed our freedom after this case."**

**"Yeah, of course," the cop confirms with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I mean, you're officially a legal US citizen and I'm assuming that your friend is too...Please tell me that he's U.S.-based. This case is time-sensitive."**

**"Because we usually work at a leisurely pace?" The scientist returns sarcastically.**

A collective laugh from the audience erupts in the vast room as Archer gives him an acknowledging side nod.

**The forensic scientist takes back the report, turns around, starts walking towards an adjacent office door, but then freezes before looking over his shoulder.**

**"Detective Green?" He calls out, and the following camera angle shows that Green is about to step out of the lab.**

**He looks back at the dark-haired man expectantly.**

**"Will you ever call me by my _actual_ name?" He questions his superior.**

**"Nah," Detective Green answers before lifting his chin. "I prefer 'Nerd' to 'Ivanov'. It sounds more... _American_."**

The crowd lets out loud ooohs and most of the viewers miss the Russian expletive that the nerd mumbles, but it's not like many people would understand it anyways.

_A crescendo instrumental accompanies a series of shots showing Ivanov checking in at the Lampert Star City International Airport and arriving at the Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport. The local landscape indicates that it's late fall in Alaska. A few more seconds show Ivanov hiking in some Alaskan woods, and he passes by several white signs reading "Private Property. Trespassers will be shot" in red._

_After a few more angles suggesting that the forensic scientist is stealthy and possibly good at tracking, his stance alert as he appraises his surrounding, keeping his head down underneath a regular black cap._

_He holds his hands up when a hunting gun comes into view. The body of the gun holder is mostly hidden, and the person is wearing winter outdoors gear and gloves._

**"Did you not read the signs you passed by to get here?" A female voice says in a sharp tone, the silence after she asks the question interrupted by the crisp sound of a gun safety being pulled down.**

**Subtitles pop up as Ivanov answers in Russian:**

**"It was written in _English_ , so I didn't think that the warning applied to me."**

A few words of surprise and shock resonate among the I.D. fans. A few people comment that Barry Allen's accent isn't authentic, but his pronunciation is neutral, which is impressive for a non-native speaker.

**Ivanov slowly removes his hat, and the audience hears the woman gasps quietly, her breath showing in the air from behind the tree.**

**"Lyovushka," her emotional whisper is heard while the camera focuses on Ivanov's face as he smiles sadly, then the camera goes back to showing the woman slowly emerging from behind the tree.**

**She's wearing hiking booths, black denim pants and a brown hooded parka that hides her face. After carefully clicking the gun safety back into place, she props the rifle muzzle down against the tree. The angle switches to showing her from the back as she yanks her hoodie down. Her face isn't revealed right away; instead, the camera focuses on a red leaf that flutters down from a tree branch onto Ivanov's head** **.**

A small but very vocal portion of the crowd screams in delight as the camera spends a few seconds on the woman, a sparse musical track conveying the solemnity of the moment: just a few strokes of violin are perceptible. The background slowly blurs away, and some trees look on fire as the woman's outline gets sharper.

"West-Allen!!" A few fans shout on top of their lungs.

**The young woman has dark skin with a golden undertone; her eyes are the same color as the earth underneath the fiery leaves, shining with tears; and her black hair is gathered in a braid hanging over her back, partly covered by a dark green beanie hat. Her deep red lips are parted and trembling before she hides them behind the gloved fingers of both hands.**

The audience gasps loudly when sounds of footsteps on dead leaves interrupt the emotional scene. The woman reaches back for her gun and Ivanov slips both hands in the pockets of his jacket. The camera zooms on one hand coming back out of the pocket with a...yo-yo.

"What the fuck, nerd!" Someone exclaims, and the rest of the room laughs as a voice-over by Ivanov starts after the white bold words 'Based on true events' appear on a dark screen that shifts into black and white shots of historical events all over the world, reminiscent of the Cold War.'

" _ **We were supposed to be the future of the Soviet Union...The proud poster children of a global, culturally-diverse form of[socialism](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/artanddesign/shortcuts/2016/jan/24/racial-harmony-in-a-marxist-utopia-how-the-soviet-union-capitalised-on-us-discrimination-in-pictures)."**_

 _ **"But when the Union was dissolved, so were the several task forces stationed around the world,"**_ **Ivanov explains as sequential images of scholars and soldiers in multiple countries are shown packing up and closing shop.**

**_"Some were allowed to return to or take refuge in Russia, hoping that the KGB leaders in Moscow had a backup plan. But of course the KGB leaders had better things to do than to make foreigners from Africa, Asia, or Latin America feel at home. The Soviets' world was collapsing and the region was going through unexpected turmoil. Only brutal shows of strength were helping them maintain a semblance of control over their lives."_ **

**Sounds of gun shots and explosions resonate over a black screen.**

This time, it's expletives like "Holy shit", "Damn," or "Fucking hell," that dominates the reacting murmurs in the Comic-Con audience.

_**"They killed all the foreign operatives who knew too much, because they weren't 'true Soviets',"** _ **Ivanov says in a tight voice.** **_"Thankfully, tracking down all of the operatives' local contacts was too costly and risky. Therefore, after making the foreign operatives' bodies disappear, the KGB 'cleanup' teams left in a hurry. That's how we got spared. We, the international operatives' children."_ **

_Shots of the movie's main characters are shown in superposition with a sequence of Ivanov reading, looking through beakers full of colorful solvents and looking worryingly at his cell phone._

_There's a young black man screwing up components of a metallic ring connected to dozens of cables, and he winces when a fuse sparks up; a young Latina taking notes in a crowded university hallway before she glances ahead and frowns at another Latina who glances back; the lens of a professional camera takes over the screen before it's lowered and a young woman of Asian descent blinks, smiles then waves at friends ahead of her, then looks down at her viewfinder. It shows a grainy picture of an Indian-American police officer staring at his name plate. Only the title 'Cpt.' is in the_ _field view._

**_"It was a US-based KGB top spy who gathered us all, and managed to provide us legal U.S. identities. He's the one who told us everything—or so we thought. The training he put us through was as physically brutal as the one he'd been through at our age, but it was mentally and emotionally tolerable since he didn't abuse us and let us play together. He taught us everything he knew, and he passed his beliefs onto us."_**

_There's a brief scene showing the same Alaskan woods Ivanov was with the black woman, but this time the landscape is estival, and the camera focuses on seven young children going through obstacle courses as the younger version of the Indian-American officer watches._

"There's one they haven't shown as grown up yet!" Someone shouts in the crowd. "No, two are missing!" Someone else corrects. "We only saw five of the children, there are two more!" "The woman who called Ivanov's name is one of the two!" The first voice reminds the rest. "So there's only one completely unknown."

"Shhhh!!!" Multiple fans demand silence.

_" **We thought ourselves the rightful heirs to a regime that had failed only because it didn't yet have**_ **us _to make its leaders' dreams come true,"_ Ivanov keeps going. _"We were the orphans of soldiers who had fallen for a just cause. Yet, a_** **_fter a confrontation with other Russian spies gave our mentor a scare, he reluctantly put us in different foster families across the country. At the time, he told us that it was a test, that only those of us who kept faith in the cause would later on get the honor to be part of the first elite task force of the project 'Melting Pot'. Some of us were impatient to become real operatives, so we would secretly return to our first home, our training camp, whenever our school breaks overlapped. We gathered together to get stronger, faster, smarter, but also to strengthen our bonds. We were friends..."_ **

_A new scene opens on the blurry image of a red-haired teenager standing in front of a table in a warehouse, several parts of what looks like a disassembled rifle on a table in front of him. Background noises of metallic parts being put together resonate. Then the camera's point of view focuses on him, revealing that he's been staring at someone else the whole time he was deftly assembling his gun._

_**"...or hoping to be more,"**_ _Ivanov adds in a soft, longing voice as the ginger blushes furiously when he notices that he's been caught staring, and he walks away with his weapon towards a window showing a colorful springtime scenery. A girl is heard giggling shyly._

Many fans aww at the scene.

_**"Of course, nothing lasts forever, certainly not hopes and dreams built on a lie. One of us, a computer science genius, was able to hack into the system of the Russian intelligence agency, and we didn't find anything about a project codenamed 'Melting Polt', not even in heavily encrypted files."** _

_The screen transitions to the same warehouse from earlier, but this time all seven teenagers are shown from the back, appearing taller than in the previous scene. They're gathered around a desktop on the table, dressed warmly in hats and sweaters. The window from before shows a lightning storm raging outside._

_**"What we did find were orders to have our mentor and all of us eliminated...All, except one: me."** _

_The camera's point of view turns around from the computer screen to a shocked Ivanov, who looks just like the A.R.G.U.S file showed him: more innocent-looking and with red hair._

**_"Me, Lev Petrovich Ivanov, officially known as Leo Ivanov. The son that the best female Soviet spy in the Cold War era had with her own deep-cover target, an older Norwegian scientist whose work she'd ended up stealing for the KGB after she'd allegedly assassinated him. The scientist's work had been retrieved post-Cold War and he'd been granted a posthumous Nobel Prize in Science and Technology. So I was the child of people who were the best in their fields; I had received a training superior to that of the average Russian spy; and most importantly, I looked like a 'true Soviet'. The Russians wanted_ me _to come home...b_ _ut they wanted the rest of my group dead."_**

Subdued expressions of sympathy and outrage mingle in the crowd as Leo's face appears on files from different secret agencies: SVR, CIA, MI6, BND, CSIS, ASIS, Mossad...the last file is the A.R.G.U.S. file from the opening scene. This time the camera shows a red-inked text stamped on the bottom right corner of the page: "Remote Wit Sec".

**_"Thankfully, the rest of the major intelligence agencies wanted me to stay exactly where I was, so Russian spies eventually stopped trying to abduct me. Even without the spies from western agencies and their allies keeping the Russians at bay, I wouldn't have gotten caught anyways. I only remained in plain sight so that I wouldn't look suspicious to the US government. In the end, I lived my life like a regular—no, like a privileged American."_ **

_New scenes roll, showing Ivanov_ _graduating high school, going to college, graduating from college, and shaking Detective Green's hand._

 ** _"I got off just fine. I did go through a brief identity crisis—should I take the last name of the father I never knew? Was I born in Norway or in Russia? I was too young when I left Europe for the U.S., I couldn't remember what language people spoke in the streets—but I shrugged it off because I'd been American for most of my life anyways, and most Americans came from another country too, so it was no big deal. To this day, people assume that I'm a regular Russian American among millions others when they read or hear my last name. I easily fade into the crowd. But my friends? Well, my_** **former** **_friends, because I knew better than to stay in touch: not only would that have endangered them since the Russian spies were watching me, but I could tell that they resented me for making the cut when they didn't. I wasn't the best at hand-to-hand combat, nor at marksmanship; I had a well-rounded scientific education, but I didn't excel in any particular field; I only spoke three languages, while the others spoke at least four, and I even lost my Russian accent overtime, whereas I used to switch between a standard Midwestern American accent and my natural Russian American accent at will. Make no mistake: I was good, I was dangerous, but I wasn't the best of us seven, and the other kids only deferred to me because I was the eldest in the group—a few weeks older than the second eldest."_**

Some people in the crowd chuckle when someone points out "He was the tallest when they reunited! Maybe that's why?"

**_"I can't imagine what the others went through. I can only imagine that they felt betrayed by a regime that had made promises of liberation from the 'imperialist West', a not-so imaginary foe when it's easy to see who currently pulls the political and economic strings in their native countries today. This story shouldn't be about me, and it's not: it's about_ them. _"_**

_A huge explosion starts the next scene, and people, civilians and law enforcers alike watch footages of the destruction of the building from the opening scene. Headlines inform that there are no known human casualties. The camera focuses on an FBI office where Vet is sitting at his desk. He rubs his forehead with the back of his hand before sighing then grabbing his landline phone._

_Clips of other bombings and footage of rioting, activists' speeches and protests from the show I.D. play as the voice-over keeps going._

_**"That warning bomb? One of the other six is involved in it, maybe all of them are. They've been hanging out with extreme activists it seems; or they're just like many other people who are sick of witnessing injustices after injustices, and who believe that general unrest is the only way to make those who benefit from a system of oppression** _ **understand** **_what it feels to be uncomfortable, to feel systemically unsafe and to feel helpless in the face of tragedy because it keeps knocking at their door. To make the majority understand what it feels like to be categorized as unfit and undesirable. To give them an insight into what being the Other means."_**

_A montage of the four other main characters equipping themselves with discreet knives, firearms and gadgets before walking out their doors. The camera then lingers on a person's back as he or she alternatively types on three different keyboards. They're wearing a hoodie so no discernible feature is showing._

_Then the viewer is brought back to the woods in Alaska where Ivanov was, and the noise that made everyone panic simply came from a deer, which hops away at the sight of the woman's gun. She exchanges a relieved look with Leo, then they both chuckle. He rushes towards her and squeezes her into his chest with one arm, mindful of her rifle._

**_I won't fight my former friends. I couldn't even if I wanted to: I haven't trained in combat in years, and I haven't used a gun since I reached the legal age to carry one. But I won't let the other six hurt people either. There's a way to overcome this crisis without resorting to violence. I'll find it, before someone plants that new bomb and its clock stops ticking; before a complex interplay of chemical reactions and intramolecular energy transfers leads to a steady shock wave at the forefront and a release wave of expanding reactions products at the rear.* Before it's too late to reunite with my international family and rebuild the foundation of our friendship by offering them the support I couldn't give them before."_ **

Whistles and rounds of applause burst out when the title gradually emerges onto the screen:

**ON THE MEND**

Then everyone quiets down because the lights haven't been turned back on yet, so there's got to be an extra scene.

_Vet and another FBI agent rush through a meat-packing facility, closely followed by a medical team led by a breathless brunette in a white coat who's holding a first aid kid against her chest. The unnamed female FBI agent shoots the locking control panel of a freezer room. When she's about to grab the door handle, it moves from the opposite side and it opens on Lev, his clothes frozen stiff but himself looking none the worse for wear._

" **Oh, good, medics," he comments casually after letting out a sigh of relief. He then points at the lady in the white coat, who looks just as dumbfounded as the rest, then jerks his thumb over his shoulder. The camera goes over his side and shows three men huddled together in a corner of the freezer, looking cold, pale and lethargic.**

**"They just entered the second stage of hypothermia," Ivanov shares as he fully walks out of the storage space. The camera goes down to show that his other hand is holding three firearm magazines, which he confidently gives to Vet and the other FBI agent.**

**"How are you not even in the _first stage_ of hypothermia?" The woman in the white coat questions as the rest of her team enters the freezer in order to tend to the men, who are likely criminals. "You were in there for at least an hour!"**

**"She doesn't have clearance to know who I am?" Leo asks Vet instead of answering her.**

**"Ah, Dr. Frost does have clearance, we just didn't have time to brief her," the FBI agent answers, and Leo turns back to the doctor.**

**"My mother's Russian, my father Norwegian, and I was trained to be an elite soldier in Alaska," he lets her know with a casual shrug of his shoulders and a polite smile before walking away.**

The Comic-Con crowd laughs and claps when the lights slowly come back on just after the credits screen pops up

**Barry Allen Iris West John Diggle**

**Chester P. Runk Allegra Garcia Esperanza Garcia Kamilla Hwang Lyla Michaels Caitlin Snow**

**Directed by Linda Park**

* * *

"Hey guys!" Linda Park greets the viewers who will click or tap on the video posted on her professional Twitter page DirectorParkL, which has gained a million followers since the trailer of 'On The Mend' at The Star City Comic-Con. "I hope you're all doing great! Thank you so much—Oh, guys, thank you~I'm blown away by all the love, and I send you all my love back...Muah! But, I'm on a time crunch, and warning number one: the filming isn't even done! We need more support, the green bill kind," she specifies as she rubs her thumbs and index fingers together, "to finish this movie. Warning number two: I will _not_ answer any question you have about the extended trailer or the movie until next week...no, on the tenth! _November tenth,_ we'll do a Youtube Live. 'We' being the cast members and myself!"

She looks down at what must be her notes for the video before sharing more announcements.

"Oh, yeah! There will be a promo tour later on of course, as soon as we're done filming! I don't think that words can prepare you for how epic this movie is going to be! The trailer is so long because there is _a lot going on!_ More details on that on the YouTube live video in nine days, on November tenth, that's how long you've got to flood the official Instagram page of the movie as well as the official Instagram page of the show I.D. with your questions. Please, I respectfully, lovingly, but _firmly_ ask, that you do not pester the cast members, confirmed and speculated alike, with questions about the movie. They're all working on many other projects. _I'm_ not. I won't work on anything new for the next two years, so I have time to look through everything. Well, hopefully you guys will make me rich enough to start new projects right after the movie premiere. Last reminder: two places only to ask questions about 'On The Mend': the movie's official IG page, and the official IG page of the TV show it stems from: Incoming Danger."

A phone vibrates in the background, and Linda sighs and smiles apologetically as she switches it off.

"Alright, that was it, timer went off! Oh, before I forget, please keep an eye out for Iris' and Barry, collectively addressed as 'West-Allen' if you're new to the Central City talent family! So yeah, West-Allen is going to make appearances in promo videos supporting civil rights groups as well as veterans groups. Your support and generosity is very much appreciated guys. There's also merch from the movie coming up soon, I know that you noticed all the nice clothes and makeup in the trailer..."

Her phone vibrates again.

"Okay, gotta go! Love you all, bye~" She singsonged before stopping the video.

Her Twitter account gains three more million followers between then and November tenth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> *bogus definition of a bomb detonation, and my opinion on what uncontrolled protesting leads to. 
> 
> This trailer was my way of sneaking in an outlined Soviet Spies AU that I'll never get to write 🤧
> 
> Tentative list of upcoming chapters, I may delete one or two.
> 
> 6/ Fear Of Being Typical: Becky Cooper  
> 7/ A Product Of The System: Caitlin Snow  
> 8/ Hypocritical: Wally West  
> 9/ Something That I'm Proud Of: Joe West  
> 10/ Don't Wanna Be The Parenthetical: Nora Allen  
> 11/ Break Me Down: Barry Allen  
> 12/ And Build Me Up: Iris West


	6. A Fear Of Being Typical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contrary to popular belief, Becky's not stupid. It's just that no one has ever taken her seriously, not even her parents, so she'd stopped trying.
> 
> Until Barry came along, she was a typical bad bitch. Then Barry came, and everything changed.
> 
> Eh. Not that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another anti West-Allen POV, another interview with Spencer Young 🤣 so you know the drill! 
> 
> I'm nervous because I feel like this is a very anticipated chapter. I packed a lot in this, so I hope that you can follow it all. The narration starts in the afternoon during the premiere of 'On The Mend' and Becky's decides to watch the red carpet interview from home.
> 
> Warning for mention of non-explicit sex. Should I bump the rating, or no West-Allen smut in this story? Slow burns without smut feel like a scam sometimes 🤣

Instead of spending the night at Brian's and allowing herself the tender loving care that she deserves, Becky sits on Barry's too big couch, in Barry's tastefully decorated living room, eyeing the disk case of Linda's movie 'On The Mend' sitting in plain sight on top of Barry's Xbox. 'Final cut' is written in permanent marker.

 _Perfect._ She will be able to watch the movie right after the red carpet interviews, just like everyone attending the premiere. Then she'll catch up on all the movie promo interviews until Barry returns. She's been too busy lately to keep up with those.

Will he be surprised to see her? Maybe, maybe not. Her relationship with her parents has vastly improved in the past year, but Barry doesn't ask questions whenever she comes over saying that she needs a break from them.

When she showed up at his place unannounced five minutes ago, Becky had worried that he was still there because his cologne lingered in the air. It's a new one, which he probably got for free after his latest modeling gig for some local body and bath brand. It's earthy with a hint of spiciness, and there's that afterthought of musk too. To Becky, it evokes images of a smooth operator who fakes shy smiles on first dates.

That's Barry Allen, alright.

Becky's not trespassing, by the way. She technically lives here, she just spends more time at her _real_ boyfriend's place, telling Barry that she's at her parents'. She has her own set of keys to Barry's condo, which she'll return in a few days. Fina-fucking-lly.

This charade has lasted for long enough. Seven fucking years. She deserves _an award_ because even she herself didn't think that she'd be able to pull it off.

But here she is, at the end of the journey, about to terminate her contract with 'the king'. That thought makes her play 'Q.U.E.E.N.' on her phone while she waits for the CCPN live broadcast of the premiere of 'On The Mend' to get interesting.

Becky's not black or queer, but music is _music._ Plus, she actually relates to the first two lines of Janelle Monáe's song:

_**I can't believe all of the things they say about me  
Walk in the room they throwing shade left to right** _

Becky's been living those words since she was a spoiled little girl, but especially after her so-called best friend in seventh grade let everyone know that she'd lost her virginity to a senior in high school. The guy had been from North Dale Academy, which was the reason why Becky had begged her parents to send her to the district's public high school instead. That's how it all started, when she thinks about it.

She gets distracted from the retrospection of her own life story by the ridiculous omnipresence of red outfits on the _red carpet._ Eighty percent of the female celebrities are wearing red or gold or both, because the movie is about the Soviet Union and they all Googled 'Soviet Union Flag colors'. They're probably going to take every fact from the movie as historically accurate.

 _Brainless_ , the lots of them.

'Q.U.E.E.N.' ends at the same time as Becky sees Barry's head poke out from behind Linda Park and Cisco Ramon—how the CEO of Ramon Industries got a role in a movie still baffles her. Maybe someone explained it all in a promo interview? But it must be nice for the CC High Quartet to be back together again.

(That's how Becky named the group comprising Allen, Park, Ramon and West since sophomore year of high school. Two popular girls and two nerds who were constantly the talk of the whole school even though they almost never interacted with each other on school grounds, but worked together fairly often off-campus.)

Barry's in an all-black [tux](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/355995545518403375/) with his bow intentionally left untied, and at first Becky thinks that his fans are screaming because yeah, he's looking _sexy as hell._ She wants to throw away that useless bow tie, remove his jacket, unbutton his shirt and...

But then she sees green chiffon flutter around as a woman twirls like a ballerina in response to someone shouting behind her. And it's with the elegance of a dancer—or rather, of a _cheerleader_ —that she crouches down to pick up something from the carpet...a black rose?☆

"What the hell, a hater?" Becky wonders out loud, but then she remembers that this movie tackles _politics_ , and the black rose is a symbol of anarchism.

Those West-Allen fans aren't just mindless worshippers, are they?

Neither is their goddess. Iris holds the rose up in her raised fist, and a few people beyond the security poles mirror her gesture. Then she dazzles the photographers who caught the political statement with her bright white smile, and flashes the crowd with a golden brown leg slipping through the thigh-high slit of the floor-length [dress.](https://www.simibridaldresses.com/products/sexy-green-deep-v-neck-long-sleeves-floor-length-prom-dresses-leg-split-evening-gowns-n457?variant=3803943665691) Then she turns back around and catches up to Barry, who let her have her moment of glory alone, smiling fondly at the scene.

When West holds up the flower in front of her to admire it, Barry bends down to smell it, and seamlessly slips his arm across her back. When he straightens back up so the two of them can pose for a photographer, his hand looks like it belongs at Iris' waist.

See? _Smooth operator._ Iris is too used to having his hands all over her to even notice what just happened.

"West-Allen!" An exuberant fan's scream is so loud that Becky immediately knows that the event reporter is around with his microphone.

"This is Scott Evans from Central City Pictures News," the well-known entertainment journalist introduces himself as he pops up in front of the camera, "live from the movie premiere of what is anticipated to be the movie of the year, if not of _the decade:_ 'On The Mend', directed by our very own CCU graduate Linda Park, and starring none other than our favorite pair of actors: West-Allen! The fans are unusually loud tonight, but that's expected with West-Allen finally showing on the big screen together."

If Becky drank a shot every time someone said 'West-Allen' at this event, she would be too drunk to have an intelligible conversation with Barry when he came home.

She wants to part on good terms. Or at least try. Maybe the movie will make her angry and she'll tell Barry to fuck off, or maybe to fuck Hartley for real. She met the smug bastard at an alumni event last week (representing his parents, who are the CC High alumni and big donors), and of course he asked about Barry even though he has his phone number and knows that Becky knows that they text each other on a regular basis. Maybe they even sext, or have phone sex.

"Eww," Becky whispers. "Anyone but Rathaway."

"I _just_ missed Linda Park, but here are Iris and Barry approaching," Evans announces on TV, "looking every bit like two people who've stood in front of cameras together for nearly a decade!"

No, it hasn't been anywhere near a decade. Their _professional_ partnership was nonexistent for three entire years, and their first joint photo shoot happened when they were sixteen and seventeen, not fifteen as many assume. Do the math and check your facts, Mr. Reporter.

Becky actually smiles at how ridiculously perfect Barry and Iris look together, because one: Iris's silver heels are making her reach past Barry's shoulders, meaning that they're going to kill her ankles by the end of the night; and two: Barry looks extra cocky and sexy tonight, therefore somewhere in the crowd or at home Patty Spivot is bitter that he didn't bother going above and beyond to look that good next to her for the premiere of 'Burette: Back To Basics'.

Or maybe the dumb blonde will tell herself that it's because Barry didn't want to eclipse her because he was a supporting character, not a co-lead. Idiots like Spivot always find a way to explain why the man they want doesn't seem to want them back.

"He doesn't do overrated blonde bitches," Becky speaks to herself.

Granted, Barry doesn't do insecure, vindictive redheaded bitches either...probably because they remind him of his _mother_.

Becky has many flaws, but being delusional isn't one, thank you very much. She's never been under any illusion that Barry would eventually fall for her, despite what they've been through together.

(Maybe a little...)

"Iris, Barry, good evening!" Scott Evans greet the pair of celebrities, who chime "hey Scott!" in unison and sandwich the journalist in a side hug from both sides as if the guy was an old friend—he kinda is, professionally. Still, Becky rolls her eyes at how pleased the entertainment reporter looks by the familiarity that the two most famous entertainers in the city display with him, live in front of the whole country.

"Wow, you guys look fantastic," Evans compliments them even though his eyes linger only on Iris. "You're wearing green, Iris, even though this movie is about some secret legacy of the _Soviet Union_ after its collapse. Why no red or gold, the colors of the SU flag?"

"Interesting fact: Mariam, the character I play, was born in Angola," Iris says off-topic, "and it's not a coincidence that the Angolan flag looks similar to the SU one. But, to answer your question: Soviet soldiers actually wore green, just not this shade. David Singh, who plays our Soviet spy mentor, is seen wearing that uniform in the movie. No one actually wore red and gold."

"That makes a lot of sense," Scott acknowledges before turning to Barry.

After a few more superficial questions, Evans thanks Barry and Iris for their time. They move on to three more reporters who ask them even easier questions about their characters or the technicalities of filming the movie.

Becky quickly grabs her phone when she spots Spencer Young waiting for the movie's costars at the end of the carpet.

She logs onto her Spyn Zone account just as Barry and Iris get in the field of vision of the camera right behind Spencer, who's exclaiming "the moment you've all been waiting for: my first West-Allen interview ever!"

"Really now? It doesn't feel like it," Iris jokes almost dryly, and the improved Spyn Zone's filming equipment picks up Barry mumbling "no, it doesn't" with mild exasperation.

"Believe me, _this_ is a historical moment," Young declares with flair as she smoothes out her dress, which is red too.

She makes up for her lack of refinement with her boldness. Becky _likes her_.

That's why she's anonymously donated _Barry's_ money to Spyn Zone so that Spencer could buy herself a better camera, nicer clothes and get access to more of these red carpet events.

"First of all, _wow,_ you two!" Spencer comments, her breathy voice full of admiration. "I wish I were rich enough to have made this movie come out faster. It's been too long guys. We've missed you."

Oh. She's a legitimate West-Allen fan? Damn it...

"I mean, now that I see you two in front of me, I don't know why I _ever_ doubted the rumors that you're secretly lovers!" The blogger adds, and Becky almost drops her phone when she throws her head back and cackles at the way the faces of her fake boyfriend and his forever crush fall at the same time.

Becky needs that girl's autograph. She's hands down the highlight of the night.

"This is highly inappropriate, Spencer," Iris chides the amateur reporter. "Barry has a long-term girlfriend, Becky—"

"Long-term, so she must be used to it," Young counters with a shrug.

Ow. What a bitch. But that's why Becky likes her, so no complaints.

"Do you two kiss in the movie?" Spencer questions enthusiastically, her gaze and mic going back and forth between the co-leads. "Is there a se—I mean, is there a love scene?"

"You'll have to watch the movie to find out," Barry and Iris say as one, with the same intonation and the same professional smile, making Becky scowl at the TV screen.

Their abnormal synchronicity isn't cute, it's _creepy_.

Spencer Young reacts with a long "wow" and even asks the camera person if they caught that.

"How does getting proper co-lead status feels, Barry?" She moves on, not loosing her perkiness. "In Burette Two you played a 'supporting character', but it was clear that you were the pillar of the movie, the more talented actor—"

"Patty Spivot is a great actress, which is why the franchise is getting a third movie," Barry immediately defends. "I won't be in it, but I'm sure that she's going to do an outstanding job just like in the first movie, which did very well at the box office."

Only thanks to _Barry's fans!_ There's no way in heaven or hell that the third movie will do as well as the second one. Spivot is a bore.

Becky's watched Burette Two too many times, or rather she's watched the scene where Andy finds out that Jay is a _liar and manipulator_ too many times because she's petty like that. Oh, and also the 'Burrick' goodbye scene, because that truly was art imitating life. Just like Andy was for Jay, Patty was just a means to an end for Barry: she was the starlet of a puny fandom that he used to safely step onto the Hollywood front scene. With that mission accomplished, he moved on to his next objective.

Or rather, his _primary_ objective: to become the most famous Hollywood actor in history. Becky doesn't know why Barry wants to be famous. He doesn't give a shit about what people think of him, unlike her. And it can't be to 'inspire people', he already does that via social media and his real life community outreach.

It's definitely not to work with Iris either, that's nonsensical. Actors and actresses who know each other don't get to work together all the time. They got lucky that Linda was the director of this movie. Barry told Becky that the movie writer and director demanded to the producers that most of the cast and crew come from her hometown.

"But in this movie, you and Iris share the screen pretty evenly, right?" Spencer perseveres before suddenly going 'oh'. "Hey, you're much more famous than Iris, but you two are called 'West-Allen', not Allen and West or West and Allen. What's with the name order and the hyphen?"

Barry squints his eyes in barely concealed suspicion whereas Iris blinks in surprise.

That's actually a very nice question and their fans will love to hear the answer, maybe just the new fans because the old ones already know the answer. Or do they?

Becky is curious now.

"I don't know how I ended up first," Iris admits as she cranes her neck to raise her eyebrows at Barry, who tilts his head in reflection but then shakes his head.

"But the hyphen insightfully reflects the complementary nature of our professional partnership," West asserts as she looks back at Young, "from our debut as models until now. Sometimes Barry is the highlight of a picture or a scene and sometimes I am, but we always try to fit as complimentary parts of the same narrative. But yeah, it should be Allen-West: by alphabetical order, by birthday and by popularity Barry comes first," she ends with a self-deprecating smile at the reporter.

"West-Allen has a better ring on it," Barry declares as he gazes down at her, _blushing,_ his voice all giddy.

What. The. Fuck.

Barry's professional mask never drops in front of the cameras _and_ Iris!

Iris herself blinks in surprise while still facing Spencer, but before she can stare up at Barry with wide eyes—they're _live_ on the world wide web for crying out loud—he abruptly looks back to Spencer, his professional mask back in place, and resumes:

"I think that the hyphen, along with what Iris just said, accurately points out that we have identical toolboxes: we started as props and costumes assistants for local fashion magazines, became models for those magazines, went to college for a formal theater education _and_ we received the same training as actors. What one of us can do, the other can too... _except_ speaking foreign languages. Iris does it better, so there you go, she's right to have her name come first."

"Well, Barry's always better with sciency stuff because he's a _nerd,_ " Iris adds with a serious face, making Barry and Spencer burst into laughter.

"Despite being equally talented, you're still paid much better than her," Young bluntly tells Barry when she calms down.

Good point, but that's just how the system is set up. Not just in Hollywood, but everywhere else. It's not Barry's fault.

"Actually, we got paid the same for this movie," Barry corrects her evenly.

_What?_

Spencer looks as dumbfounded as Becky feels.

_Really? A popupular white actor and a barely known black actress, paid the same amount of money?_

"Only because Barry and I demanded it," Iris specifies as she brings around the arm hidden behind Barry.

That's the hand holding the black rose and she taps it against Barry's chest—right on top of his heart, and she's not even _looking_ —before pointing it in the direction of the camera.

 _Anarchism,_ alright. 

Is that the real reason why filming took so long? The two of them refused to work if Iris didn't get a raise?

"For all those who claim wanting to see positive changes in the industry: _this_ is just one way of being a vector of change. We actors are the most _visible_ parts of this system, so we shouldn't just wait for the system as a whole to spontaneously move towards justly serving everyone's interests."

"We must _push_ the machine forward ourselves," Barry follows up.

Wow.

They said that live, at the premiere of a movie that's apparently going to get all kinds of accolades worldwide. Unlike the CCPN interview that will take some time to reach all corners of the web, this interview is actually being watched all over the world _right now._

Won't they get in trouble for this? The fans will love it, but what about the powers to be?

"Well said!" Of course Young approves such a bold statement. "Thank you, West-Allen! Have an excellent evening."

"Enjoy the movie!" They reply before moving on.

Becky puts down her phone and looks up at the TV. The CCPN camera is focused on other members of the cast, who aren't wearing any red or gold, nor evening gowns or tuxedos for that matter: some are wearing what Becky assumes are cultural attires of the countries their characters represent, some are in casual jeans and shirts, with political messages printed all over, and Esperanza Garcia, who's known for making her own outfits is wearing a shimmery [bodysuit](https://www.etsy.com/listing/124980638/holographic-bodysuit-black-cyberpunk) with pointy shoulder pads, black latex pants and black boots.

_Diversity._

These guys aren't doing things halfway, gotta give them that. Young is right: this is a historical moment.

Instead of watching the movie right away, Becky decides to watch the promo interviews for the movie. She needs to know more before she watches 'Linda Park's project', lest too many political messages pass right over her head.

She's not a dumb woman like many people think. She's highly educated. She can appreciate a movie about international post-Soviet union spies with a critical eye, with only mild jealousy to the fact that her fake boyfriend will be shown kissing the woman she used to be scared of.

The movie is rated PG, so if there is a sex scene it's going to be short and non-explicit. Becky can watch it without feeling too frustrated with herself that she only let Barry pity-fuck her three times _in seven years._

She ends up watching the interviews and the movie just fine, but now...

Now, she's figured out something that's blowing her mind. She reviews things she thought she knew about Barry with a new lens, to confirm whether or not she has evidence of _the truth_ she thinks she's uncovered.

A huge hint comes from witnessing Barry's professional mask fall for the first time on camera in Iris' presence at the premiere's interview. What had he said?

_"West-Allen has a better ring on it"._

Ring _on_ it, instead of ring _to_ it _._ Holy shit! Talk about a Freudian slip!** 

Also, Becky's prediction was right: the love scene was mild, just hungry kisses between Leo and Mariam as they frantically removed each other's clothes, then they stumbled into a bedroom and the screen went black when they closed the door. The next scene showed them exchanging chaste, almost childish kisses, and calling themselves 'Mashunya' and 'Lyovushka', while they got dressed. They switched to 'Masha' and 'Lyovka' when they joined the other members of the group minus the hacker.

Russian diminutives make no sense to Becky. They are clearly rules, but she doesn't have time nor the interest to check them out.

But you know what she has time and interest to look up? The _Russian Cyrillic alphabet._

Because the love scene made Becky very aware that Barry's nonsensical chemical formula tattoo was missing, covered by makeup, but now that she knows that it's written in _inverted Russian letters_ , for the life of her she can't remember the letter and number combo...

"His first cover of Education," she remembers before getting off the couch and going on a mission to find a seven-year-old publication.

Barry isn't vain, so he doesn't have a collection of the magazines that he's done covers for on display anywhere. But he does have a small library in his office, though the classification order escapes Becky's comprehension. Which is why she spends the next ten minutes meticulously moving books and magazines, putting them back where they belong as soon as she identifies them as the wrong one.

She returns to the couch with that April edition of Education, a notepad and a pen, and her phone opened on a wikipedia page on the Russian alphabet.

She's already solved the code when Barry returns home, though she's had to look up Iris West on Facebook as well.

"Hello? Becky?" Barry calls out when he sees the lights on.

He sounds exhausted.

"In here," she replies almost too quietly, but Barry's got a good ear.

Hers is better. She can equally detect barely there musical errors and fluctuations in people's voices.

"Hey! How are—oh, you watched the movie?" He guesses as he sees the sleep mode light blink on his Xbox. "How did you like it? And are you okay?"

He slowly walks to his bedroom (Becky has her own) after she tells him that she's doing well and that she finds the movie very educative and uniquely thought-provoking.

He returns after taking a quick shower and changing into long shorts and a Ramon Industries t-shirt.

Becky rolls her eyes. Barry has his own company, but he never wears its apparel unless he's promoting it in public.

It's called 'ALIEN Space. Ship', because Barry's a _fucking nerd_. It's actually "Allen" in all caps except the second l, and "Space. Ship." refers to the fact that it does import-export (ship) with a focus on interior design (space) goods.

"Would you like anything? Did you eat tonight?" Becky's fake boyfriend asks her as he passes the couch while walking towards the kitchen.

That's what infuriates Becky the most: Barry's actually an attentive boyfriend. He plays the pushover in public, but he's thoughtful, kind, and so fucking _generous_ with his time, money and energy. He's a fucking good lay too, something that made Becky's heart _ache_ when she started dating Brian two years ago. It's not that Brian is bad in bed, but Becky had forgotten that not all men could fuck her as thoroughly as Barry. 

If only she'd given him reasons to _like her_...

No. No, she's _not_ delusional, has never been. She'd known from the start that their relationship couldn't be anything but an act.

In the beginning, Becky was just supposed to be Barry's beard for a month or two, until the scandal with Rathaway passed. But after Barry had seen how his parents liked her and how her parents treated her better in his presence, he'd suggested that they stick together until they both got into SCU.

By the time they got to college Barry was already famous thanks to social media, and he even made friends with the even more famous Oliver Queen. Conversely, Becky couldn't make friends because everyone was as mean as her in the music department, only the other students were actually _talented_ whereas Becky was barely decent. Barry graciously accepted to stay with her because he was dodging all the boys and girls coming onto him too strong. He played the perfect boyfriend in public and the great friend in private, and with his emotional support Becky made it through undergrad. She'd even decided to go to grad school at CCU.

Her parents had whined about wasting money on her because they didn't believe that she could actually get a career in the performing arts. They'd wanted her to get married, have kids and take over the family business. When she'd showed up to Barry's brand new apartment (not this one, the previous one), he looking so accomplished and her feeling like the pathetic failure that she'd always been, she'd broken down and he'd asked her what was wrong.

For the first time in four years she'd honestly shared her hopes and dreams with him, and most importantly she'd told him about her fear of having her parents cut her off if she didn't do what they wanted (yes they could've done it, she got her pettiness from them, after all).

And what had Barry Allen done afterwards? He'd _fucked_ her depression right out of her system, had given her the same pep talk that God must have given to Jesus before Jesus walked on water, and to top it off he'd paid her first year of grad school upfront. When Becky had thrown that last part at her parents during their next loud argument, they'd been so embarrassed that they'd paid Barry back with arbitrary interests. From then on Becky's relationship with her parents had improved, slowly but surely. Too slowly for her to live with them, though, and Barry had been fine with keeping up their fake relationship until she felt accomplished enough to be on her own. She felt a tiny bit bad for deceiving Mr. and Mrs. Allen, but like Barry had argued they weren't hurting anyone with their lies.

Until Becky met Brian, the stage manager at the CC Concert Hall. It's been two years now that Becky's risking Barry's career by cheating on him behind his back. He's imposed her one rule and one rule only during those seven years, and it's for her to tell him at least a month ahead of time whenever she wants to stop pretending.

Becky had been drunk when she first fucked Brian, so she couldn't have given 'the king' that one-month notice!

Brian has sworn to keep their relationship secret, and he's _so good_ to Becky. He actually likes her bitchy attitude and gives her sass back. Except for the passable sex, Becky has nothing to complain about. Barry thinks that she's happier because of her improved relationship with her parents, which does count but not that much. She's happy because she's finally in a real romantic relationship, not that travesty she's putting up with for the seventh year in a row.

The hitch? Brian told her that he's moving to Metropolis, but before freaking out Becky looked up job offers there, and lo and behold she got offered a fucking position as an event coordinator at the Metropolis Classical Music Society, and she starts _next week!_

She knows that suddenly breaking up with Barry will be terrible for him PR-wise, especially after his movie with Iris West as his co-star. People will think that he finally cheated on Becky with his professional soulmate.

Well, considering that Becky has now the solid proof that Barry has more than a long-time, _unrequited_ crush on his 'friend from work', she doesn't give a shit.

He's not fucking bi, Ramon, _you idiotic and incompetent best friend!_

This whole time it's _Barry_ who's been the delusional one.

"Allen!" Becky calls out angrily as he busies himself in the kitchen.

He comes back to the living room and blinks at her, definitely surprised by her temper. It's been a while since she's been a bitch to him.

"God, you're such a loser," she calmly judges him before anger rises in her throat.

She actually respected him this whole time! She silently endured the insults on the internet, kept a low profile on social media, and watched every show, movie and interview he's been in. She was even thinking of investing in his stupid company!

"You're a loser who lies to look good!" She advises him. "A _fool_ that's been passing for a king!"

"Okay..." he says just to acknowledge that he heard her, but still no reaction.

So Becky brandishes her notepad in one hand— _his_ notepad, actually—and the Entertainment magazine in the other hand. She makes him look at his own cute eighteen-year-old face and sexy upper body on the cover.

He looks at both, but barely frowns.

"Your tattoo isn't a random chemical formula, it's _Iris' name and birthday!_ " She speaks up in case he's hoping that she didn't actually figure it out, which is unlikely.

Barry is possibly the only person not from work who's never, _ever_ underestimated her. From the moment they first spoke, he saw past her blonde dye, past her boobs and past her bad bitch attitude.

If she was a good person, she would be properly grateful for his friendship. She would bow to him for all that he's done for her in the past seven years:

_"I can help you with your application to SCU, you know? We could go together. Huh? Because you helped me for the scandal with Hartley. Yes, Becky, it's that simple."_

_"Becky, you can do this, whatever your parents say. My mom will gladly help you practice the piano."_

_"We can...I can...what? I don't always fake being shy! Yes, I meant let's have sex, if you want...Um, no, I haven't fallen for you...Becky! You're stressed like hell because of finals, and you refuse to go to your yoga class! You need to de-stress, and to be quite honest you're driving me crazy too...what? Well then, use your toys! No, you can't find someone else! Because social media paparazzi will ruin our lives for weeks, maybe months...What? Of course I care about your reputation too, come on!"_

_"Do you want us to stay together until you finish grad school, then? I know that your parents will be...It's not a problem, it's not like I have time to date anyway. But you won't be able to date either...Yeah, of course there's room for you here, want a tour? If you've noticed, it's far enough to avoid dinner with both my parents and yours every so often. How cool is that? Oh. Hey, Becky, hey, come here...yes, I'm gonna hug you! Deal with it!"_

_"There's this job posting on the concert hall's website. It's entry-level, but you'd have one foot in the right place, right?"_

_"Sorry, I can't make it back in time for the gala after all, wanna ditch it and come over here instead? Still in Anchorage...Alaska, Becky, I know that you know where it is. Yeah? Great! Oh, I got you a ticket already...Well I wasn't going to let you go alone, so."_

_"What? I didn't hear well, reception sucks...who? Caitlin, as in Caitlin Snow? You laughed at the rumors about me and Patty, but you think that...She's friends with Cisco! I play the love interest of the character played by Iris, why aren't you worried about...that's low, Becky. Yeah, even for you...No, of course not. Gotta go...goodnight, don't sleep in my bed please...in Anchorage we had no choice! Fine, do what you want, whatever. Bye!"_

What Barry had called 'low' had been Becky simply pointing out that _"Iris will never date your nerdy white ass as long as your parents live, hun."_

She'd realized that when West had started dating Tony Woodward. Another CC High alumnus, another famous entertainer from Central City, another king, another white guy...but a jock, with _non-racist_ parents.

For years, Becky had been worried that Iris would change her mind about not seeing Barry 'that way'. Becky had overheard her say it to Linda at the lockers when the rumors following the 'Beauty and the Beast play' had been rampant. Becky hadn't watched it, she'd been confused about all the fuss before Cisco had approached Becky...that had been _after_ everyone had been shocked with Barry coming out as gay—

 _"He's bi! My boy is bisexual, you hear me?"_ Ramon had promised, and she'd taken it at face value.

Becky had known that Barry's parents were bigots, _everybody_ had known that, but if Iris had looked interested in Barry? Come on, she's gorgeous and Barry had a big crush on her. He would've ditched Becky for sure, might have gone to CCU instead of SCU to be with her, and where would Becky be today if that had happened?

(Where would Barry himself be today? Maybe he'd be as underrated as Iris. Star City had boosted his popularity and career.)

But, despite having the student of the year's eyes and hands all over her at photoshoots, West had seemed unaffected by Barry's charms. Becky had concluded that Iris only did black guys, but her dating Woodward has proved her wrong.

Becky begrudgingly respects Iris. Unlike Patty Spivot, West is talented, classy, and fuck yeah she's beautiful. Becky has talked to Iris just fine the few times they've gotten the chance to. They were locker neighbors in high school, and Iris had actually complimented Becky for her very well done homemade dye job. And when Becky had gone to Anchorage to run away from a stressful event organized by her parents, Iris had been the one showing her around the set during breaks because Barry was sleeping during the day and filming scenes at night. Maybe Iris was just trying to look nice to her co-lead's girlfriend, but to Becky's ear she'd sounded genuinely friendly. 

Becky just can't _like_ Iris, it's a matter of principles. Half of the internet thinks that Barry's cheating on Becky with her.

So Queen Iris might get metaphorically decapitated along with the king when their people find out that the's an imposter. Sorry, girl.

"You becoming a model," Becky starts listing as she throws the notepad and magazine at Barry, and she sneers when he deftly catches the latter. "You campaigning for prom king; you spamming social media with all those civil rights issues and volunteering at food shelters and youth centers; you going for acting instead of science; you wanting to become the most famous actor in Hollywood..."

He doesn't look guilty or ashamed, but at least he's dropped the nonchalant look. He folds the magazine into a tube and keeps his beautiful, calculating eyes on her.

"You don't have a 'harmless crush' on Iris West like Cisco keeps repeating like a broken record—he's been trying to convince _himself_ too, not just me!" Becky realizes. "You don't 'like' or 'admire' or 'respect' Iris...You're fucking _obsessed_ with her! Everything you've done since you were thirteen years old has been to get close to her!"

"What? No, that's not..." Barry dared deny.

"Didn't you code your tattoo because you knew that she'd be the only one who could decode it, since she knows Russian?" Becky interrupts him with a question.

He pinches his lips before nodding and whispering "I did."

"Didn't you start modeling because she did too?" She asks this time.

"No, I didn't know that we'd both been promoted to models until days later," Barry corrects her.

"How about working for the same fashion magazine, huh?" She re-formulates.

"A happy coincidence," the actor states with a shrug of his shoulders, and she doesn't see a reason to doubt him.

"And becoming an actor?" She keeps going.

"I'm good at it!" He defends. "It pays well, I got to buy my own place right after college and I get to travel all the time, and meet new people, and expand my horizons..."

Oh. That other thing. She's almost forgotten.

"You're really ashamed of your parents, aren't you?" She asks but rhetorically. "Barry, lots of people are intolerant, and not just white people—"

"What's the problem here, Becky?" Barry redirects the conversation. "I'm confused."

"You think that I'm above selling your secrets to the highest bidding gossip magazine?" She threatens.

She frowns when he snorts, then laughs with exhales through his nose, tapping a corner of 'Entertainment' to his forehead.

"Sorry," he apologizes before she can ask him what the fuck is funny. "I forgot that you're not very active on social media."

"I'm not in the mood to play, Allen," she warns him. "If you've got something to say—"

"I've got _two_ things to say, actually," he cuts her off before throwing the magazine back in her direction, and Becky purses her lips when it lands perfectly on the corner of the coffee table right in front of her.

"You think that my fans didn't figure out the meaning of my tattoo the moment they heard me speaking Russian on the first trailer of the movie at Comic-Con?" He asks her rhetorically as he points at the cover photo. "I'm surprised that no one asked about it at the promo interviews or the premiere. Someone will ask on camera, eventually. So what? Iris and I will simply use it to boost the DVD sales of the movie. The fans are in love with the happy coincidence. Linda only made me hide my tattoo because she didn't want it to suggest that Iris got her role through nepotism."

"Well, she wrote the roles with you two in mind, anyways," Becky points out. "Everyone knows that you didn't audition."

She blinks at his little smirk.

"What?" Becky asks.

"Everyone _thinks_ that this is the project that we were talking about last year, the week after Burette Two's premiere," he says with a full-on green. "Linda's too creative for another story in which I play the nerd, come on. Whoever paid attention to her video post Comic-Con would've noticed that she said that she wasn't working on anything new for the next _two years._ We finished filming within _three_ _months_ of the trailer."

"What?" Becky repeats.

"Linda tweaked a lot of the original story of 'On The Mend' so she's credited as a writer but she's not the only one on there," he explains while waving at the Xbox. "The movie was supposed to have Oliver and I co-star in it, but the original director got sick. By the time Linda volunteered to save the investors' money, Oliver and most of the cast and crew's schedule had changed. When the producers told Linda that she was insane with her budget and her idea to pick all of the replacement from Central City, I asked Oliver and Cisco to help fund all of the scenes showed at Comic-Con. That's literally all we had filmed at that point. All of the movie's money had gone to pay Linda, the crew and the cast... _except_ me and Iris. After the response to the trailer at Comic-Con, new investors gave the producers and Linda the money to finish the movie. _That's_ when Iris and I asked for our equally big paychecks." 

"What about all of the money from the fans and sponsors?" Becky asks, but then answers the question herself. " _Charity_. All of it went to activists and veterans, on top of the money for their promo?"

"Yup," Barry confirmed with a little bow of his head.

"You guys are crazy," Becky whispers, then realization hits. "You're going to co-star with Iris in another movie? Your mom is going to have a heart attack!"

Barry simply rolls his eyes.

" _Secondly_ ," he moves on from their digression, and Becky getsalarmed by the way he pauses to rub his forehead with his thumb and index finger. He lets out a long sigh before looking at her with...sad eyes?

"A gossip magazine would turn around and tear _your life_ apart if you reached out to them, Becky," Barry declares quietly. "You stuck with me for seven years, but have been cheating on me for _two_...A fact that many paparazzi will expose sooner or later, whether or not you portray yourself as the vindictive ex. But if we part amiably, no one will care about you cheating. You'll get harassed for a week or two, maybe, but that will be it."

Becky gapes at him as her world turns upside down.

Oh, God. What...?

_He knew?_

"You—that's why you kept me even though you figured out that I was cheating on you?" She has to ask. "To _blackmail me?_ " her voice sounds so small now.

"Of course not," he immediately answers as he walks over the couch and drops on it, ignoring how she scoots all the way to the other end of it. "But I told you not to cheat on me! Why did you do it, Becky? Do you love Brian?"

"You know his name?" She dumbly asks, because _of course_ he does!

"Without my agent, the _whole country_ would've known his name last month!" He talks back and throws his hands in the air "So, do you love him?"

"Not really," she half-lies, but she starts biting her lips nervously.

It's a tick that usually emerges when she's dealing with her parents, and Barry knows it.

"You don't love him _yet_ , but you believe that you could eventually," he guesses. "And you're worried that what? I'd ruin your relationship?"

"Why wouldn't you? I just threatened to oust your secret," she points out. "The fact that it's not a real secret is irrelevant. And I could still make money telling how you're obsessed with Iris," she adds stubbornly.

He ruffles his still damp hair.

"You know, Iris has an Instagram fan page that has more followers than her own," he informs her out of the blue. "It's called 'West-Alone."

"What?" She asks, thinking she's heard wrong. 

"West, hyphen, _alone_ ," he reiterates with a humorless laugh. "I appreciate the pun, at least. But yeah, like you, these fans think that I'm a creepy stalker who's been preying on Iris for years, that I fetishize her, that she's only putting up with me because I'm famous and she's smartly riding the 'WAve'," he does the air quotes before bringing both hands to his face and breathing loudly into them.

"They even say that I'm actually racist just like my parents, and that I fake being an activist to overshadow her," he adds as he looks down at his hands, now on his lap, palms up.

"You're not racist, Barry, I know that," Becky reassures him, and startles when he whips his head around to glare at her.

"I'm not a creepy stalker _either!_ " He claims, his voice almost too loud even though he remains otherwise physically calm. "Iris and I grew up as _neighbors,_ so how is it extraordinary that we ended up going to the same schools and getting the same part-time jobs?"

"You chose acting over science..." Becky starts arguing, but he cuts her off.

"My parents wanted me to have a career in science. It wasn't _my dream,_ " he shares for the first time. "I double-majored in case Cisco needed me to start his company. But he thought that I was still a fucking coward by the time we graduated, that if my parents had said no I would've let him down, so when he started Ramon Industries he only asked me for money."

Becky's positive that Mr. and Mrs. Allen aren't happy about Barry giving his money to his latino best friend either, but she doesn't comment.

Barry's never opened up to her like that, she knows when to shut up.

"I would've done more if he'd asked," he promises, but that's easy to say now.

"I had already lost my chance with the woman I love," he confesses. "I wasn't going to let my parents chase out my best friend too."

"What?" Becky reacts this time, and Barry puts himself together. 

"So I'm not letting you ruin my career _and_ your own life, Becky," Barry declares sternly. "We're going to announce our break up on Twitter after the movie passes the hundred million mark at the box office, not before. I'll post snippets of explanations on Tumblr, and you'll be free to say whatever you want after the DVD promo tour is announced. Until then, please be extra careful whenever you go see Brian."

"I'm leaving for Metropolis, nerd," she drops her bombshell.

When he asks why and she tells him about her new job, the least sensical thing happens.

Barry laughs happily and hugs her so tightly that she has to push him away. Between exclamations that he's so happy for her and chiding that she's terrible for making them fight when they should've been celebrating the whole time, he calls his agent. The guy dutifully brainstorms ways to sell a cute breakup story before Becky flies away to Metropolis in a week.

"You know, I think that Barry Allen loves you, deep down, in his own way," Brian tells Becky the next day over dinner, after she's explained the breakup plan she's settled on with Barry.

"No way," she denies with a snort. "He's just stupidly nice. He only loves one woman, and it's not me."

_"I had already lost my chance with the woman I love..."_

_When?_ What happened? Becky doesn't really want to know. She wants to be sad for Barry, but she's too petty for that.

He'd made _her_ fall for _him_ , so this is some kind of karmic payback, right? Becky couldn't have him, so he didn't get Iris either.*

Becky's very grateful that while art imitates real life, the opposite isn't necessarily true: in the movies, the typical bad bitch ends up miserable, and the protagonist gets his love interest. But Becky's getting her happy ending, while Barry remains miserable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> *starting with the end: Becky doesn't know the chronological order of events: her falling for Barry and him losing his chance with Iris. Therefore, the whole karma thing is questionable. I'll be nice and point out that Barry said "I HAD already lost my chance..." not "I HAVE already lost my chance." He was specifying his status at that point in time while implying that he was NOT a coward when he graduated from college. Remember how in chapter 4, Iris told Tony that until taking sociology classes in COLLEGE she didn't like the way Barry always defends her? Let that sink in. Moving on.
> 
> ☆Somehow people think that anarchism is a "white people thing" but it's actually an anti-capitalism and anti-racism movement. I don't know much about it, and the way West-Allen and Linda used the investors' money is still within the confines of capitalism, but I already had a black rose in the scene and I liked it. Fanfiction.
> 
> **"West-Allen has a better ring on it" being a Freudian slip because Barry totally mixed in "has a better ring TO it" with "put a ring ON it", which means to marry someone. If Barry and Iris got married, Iris' (possible) new last name would be West-Allen, and that sounds nice to Barry. Got it?
> 
> New list of upcoming POVs
> 
> 7/ A Product Of The System: Caitlin Snow  
> 8/ Something That I'm Proud Of: Joe West  
> 9/ Don't Wanna Be The Parenthetical: Nora Allen  
> 10/ Break Me Down: Barry Allen  
> 11/ And Build Me Up: Iris West
> 
> Wally got kicked out because he's just Iris' nephew in this one anyways.


	7. A Product Of The System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlin knows that she's not the most talented actress but if even Iris is happy for her, what's Barry's deal? He got nominated for two awards!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overall this POV is kinda a reverse of Patty's. Kinda.
> 
> The chapter opens near the end of a movie award ceremony, the Midway Academy Awards. Let's say that it's the equivalent of the Oscars: super prestigious and gets the most coverage. I don't watch real life movie awards, but I got inspired by a specific speech. More on that in the endnotes.
> 
> Warning for a teaser of West-Allen roleplaying. I feel like I'm giving you the wrong idea LOL but it's literally what happens in the chapter.

"And the award for Best Supporting Actress goes to...Caitlin Snow, 'On The Mend'!" The host, Felicity Smoak, announces.

The blonde actress' smile and tiny claps are so fake, and so are those of the people Caitlin sees as she quickly but carefully walks to the stage. Only Cisco—who's seated next to her and is now looking up at her with a goofy proud smile and two thumbs up—seems sincere in his congratulations.

Caitlin knows that everyone was shocked when she was nominated for the award. She's not that good of an actress, she's aware of it; she actually thinks that she'd be great at directing if given the chance. Nevertheless, all members of the movie's production congratulated her on social media, on the phone or in person.

All, except Barry Allen. Of course Caitlin knows where he's coming from, but still...

As she thanks her parents, God, all the producers and Linda Park, Caitlin sees that Linda and Iris, who are seated right next to each other, are looking at her with wide, happily-teary eyes.

That means _so much_ to her, they have no idea!

"And to have the honor to work with such talented people—" the awarded actress continues her speech, but almost falters when her eyes meet Barry's—he's seated on Iris' other side, naturally.

He's giving her a wide but _professional_ smile, because of course he's still upset on Iris' account. Which according to Cisco isn't a big deal, but...

Are those two _truly_ not together? Right now they're both single, and the West-Allen fandom is saturating the internet with their speculations of when they will get together. Caitlin can't spend more than five minute on social media without seeing a reference to the iconic pairing.

For sure, Iris West and Barry Allen are inspirational, and she looks up to them as fellow entertainers...

But at times, like now, Caitlin finds their connection a bit over the top. They are two distinct individuals. It's a bit patronizing for Barry to be righteously angry for Iris, no?

Caitlin wouldn't have known that the very nice smile he's flashing for the cameras is fake if Cisco hadn't told her how to tell it from his genuine smiles.

They had been on the movie set, during one of the few days when the biotech company's CEO was available for more than a few hours—he played the role of the group hacker, aka himself, really. All he had to do to be a brooding hardass like Hector Cruz was to go a whole week without candy. He'd been so moody, Caitlin had to use all her patience not to snap back at him.

_"Hey, Cait, yo! You should redo that scene, Barry's not happy about it...Well didn't you see him give you his professional smile? Huh? How have you been working with him for months and...never mind, waste of time. Yeah, if you actually wish to know..alright, so his lips stretch equally left to right for his fake smile, like this...equidistant and shit, I know, it's creepy, ri—You, glasses! What did you just say, West-Allen kissing? Oh, for a scene! No no, nothing, go on. Yeah, what was I saying...nah, Barry's crush is harmless...You heard the lady, they were just rehearsing their kissing scene—but report to me if they act suspiciously Cait, seriously...meaning if they do anything that's not part of the script, duh! What? How are you a professional actress and you only read your part of the script? You know what, it's fine it's fine, I'll do everything myself...Hey you there, green hat! Who told you that you could eat candy on set? I'm on a diet, so throw that away!! Hey, hey! That sucker...Doesn't he know that I'm the reason why this set is so sleek? Have some respect, people!"_

"...that unity is much more powerful in a context of diversity, because it allows all voices to be heard, and thus it allows the stories we tell to contain as many points of view in order to provide a version of the truth which is as complete as possible," Caitlin is concluding, focusing on the happy faces of Linda and Iris—one has her hands crossed over her heart, the other is nodding enthusiastically. They're going to make her cry!

She closes her speech by thanking the jury and nods politely as she shyly brandishes her shiny trophy. People fake-clap again.

Linda's clapping _and_ fanning at her eyes, and that makes Caitlin step down on the other side of the stage to pass by her on her way back to her seat. Caitlin likes to think that the trophy is for the whole team, that it's for Linda, who herself wasn't even nominated at all for 'Best Director'...so she rushes into her extended arms and squeezes her as tightly as she can without hurting her.

Linda's such a creative and skilled director, and has absolutely replaced Harrison Wells as Caitlin's role model for a director. The way she uses imagery in a scene is unlike any other in the industry. Even with a story as mainstream as the one she was given, she found ways to incorporate the iconography of the native cultures represented of the movie's main characters. Her genius is so humbling. It's too bad that the competition was so fierce for Best Director this year!

"You deserve it, girl," Linda reassures her as she quickly lets her go because the show must go on.

"Yes you do! Beautiful speech, Caitlin!" Iris whispers, and goodness gracious, Caitlin is still not used to how radiant she is when she smiles widely. She looks so effortlessly elegant in that red halter top jumpsuit.

"Thank you, thank you," she says to both with a sincere smile, but then she drops her gaze and quickly passes by Barry on Iris' other side.

"Hey," the guy who won the title of sexiest man of the year calls out quietly, and Caitlin fretfully looks over her shoulder to meet the his gaze.

He's been nominated for _both_ Best Supporting Actor in 'Burette: Back to Basics' and Best Actor in 'On The Mend', and he's certain to win the first one. He really shouldn't be upset that she got something _too_!

"It's not you, it's them," Barry tells her calmly, his eyes intense and knowing but not judgmental. "Congrats."

Congrats, but no "you deserve it"?

Caitlin nods quickly anyways before she returns to her spot. She gladly lets Cisco bring her mood back up, to the point where she can truly appreciate the fact that her name is going down in the history books of Hollywood. Wow.

And, it's not like Iris West won't get an award eventually, right? She got nominated for other awards, just not by the Midway Academy. Those other juries acknowledge that her role as Mariam Kassoma is a real _main role_.

But for the Midway Academy Awards, her co-lead role for 'On The Mend' somehow got put in the _Supporting Actress_ category, just like Caitlin's true supporting role.

That's such an insult, especially when everyone knows that Iris' screen time in 'On The Mend' is only shorter than Barry's by two minutes! And she got paid the same amount of money as Barry! Seriously, who did that?

"Best Supporting Actor goes to...Barry Allen, 'Burette: Back to Basics'!" Hunter Zolomon announces enthusiastically, and Caitlin's relieved because surely that will get Barry in a better mood and make him forget that she 'stole' Iris' trophy. That's what all the West-Allen fans predicted would happen, never mind that Iris shouldn't have been in the same category as Caitlin in the first place.

By the way, Hunter looks so charming in his tux! That's the closest Caitlin has ever been to him physically.

He's not getting anything tonight but that's only because he's worked in very small-budget productions last year. He ended up third in the sexiest man of this year's list, behind Barry and Oliver Queen. Caitlin believes that it's not a very fair list, but it's not surprising considering that Hunter's got less fans in the age range that voted the most, i.e. the barely legal girls who don't know what _a real man is._

Yes, Oliver Queen is a sexy man, but _Barry Allen?_ He's good-looking of course, but in an adorable kind of way, you know?

Caitlin doesn't really agree with his 'king' status in general. Iris deserves her 'queen' status, she's regal and too mature to be a 'princess' even though she has a baby face sometimes, but Barry tries a bit too hard to be charismatic when he's, well, a _nerd._ It's hard for Caitlin to take him seriously after seeing him on set for months, blushing like a fanboy whenever Iris laughs without inhibitions at something he says, or touches him skin to skin when they're not filming. He's so obvious!

"...and Paul and the amazing filming crew," Barry's saying, and Caitlin makes an effort to tune in and smile. Who knows if a camera's on her.

She doesn't want backlash from Barry's fans—Iris' individual fans are very nice, as classy as their idol, but Barry's fans are so _delusional._

Caitlin's character, the medical doctor Crystal Frost, only interacts with the main character Leo Ivanov to literally do _her job:_ medically assist him. Yet, some of Barry's fans somehow concluded that Caitlin herself has a crush on Barry _right now_ and that she was 'trying too hard' to flirt with him in both the movie and some promo interview panels! All that because a few movie fans ship Crystal and Leo romantically, and Caitlin only expressed appreciation for the ship name _once._ Come on, 'Stalactites' is such an original name! Crystal's last name is Frost and Leo's Norwegian-Russian so he's associated with the cold too, you know? Caitlin said that it was creative and apt for the two characters, but some of Barry's fans had to be cruel on Twitter and stated that

_**"Stalactites is indeed an apt name for the ship: boring, frozen and brittle, just like the chemistry between Lev and Crystal"!** _

Caitlin bets that those fans were also extreme West-Allen shippers, and forgive her but it's so _obnoxious_ that over fifty millions of people now on Instagram are shipping two real actors rather than the characters they play. There is a sizable portion of the movie's fans who are 'Kavanov' shippers, obviously because Mariam Kassoma and Leo Ivanov are the main romantic couple...but _Iris and Barry_ shouldn't be shipped together. 

Cisco's a big West-Allen shipper himself, but only 'professionally', and that's not a claim made lightly. He really tries to keep the two separated when they're off-set, and neither seemed to notice it during the filming of 'On The Mend.' Unfortunately, tonight Cisco got distracted by a business call after the red carpet interviews, and when the group couldn't find enough seats to fit the whole cast plus Linda, they had to split. Caitlin saved him a good spot so he wouldn't have to be alone with just John Diggle aka FBI agent Vet Farol in the movie. John is seated next to his real life best friend Oliver Queen on his right, but he is also at the tail end of a huge group of black actors and actresses who are the cast of the fairly new but very popular TV show 'Freeland', which Caitlin hasn't caught up to yet despite Cisco pestering her about it.

An African American show with the word 'free' in the title doesn't sound like fun. Caitlin can't watch sad shows, she just can't.

"...of course, the franchise would be nothing without the fans," Barry asserts, "and I hope that the fandom will keep growing and supporting Patty Spivot and the rest of the cast, past present and future. Thank you!"

Caitlin eyes Patty Spivot, who must be the most attacked person by Barry's intense fans, _ever_. Caitlin's glad that she never admitted to having a celebrity crush on Barry back in the day. After seeing him with Iris on and off-set, she's figured out that Cisco's willfully ignorant for thinking that Barry only has 'a harmless crush' on his co-lead.

Anyways, it's none of Caitlin's business, really.

Spivot's smiling and clapping, and she seems genuinely grateful for Barry's shout out, as she should be. She's very unlikely to get 'Best Lead Actress' because she's running against so many upcoming actresses who are more talented than her, Like Felicity Smoak, Dinah Laurel Lance, Sara Lance, Lois Lane...oh, and Diana Prince, who plays the main character of the unexpected blockbuster and light-toned movie 'Switch 2'. The Switch franchise is about BDSM, of all things.

The loud cheers from the cast of Freeland surprise Caitlin when Diana Prince is announced as the winner.

"Diana is a recurring guest character in 'Freeland'," Cisco quietly explains. "Anissa Pierce has a minor role in 'Switch 2', too. So Diana's real tight with the cast."

"Oh. That's great!" Caitlin comments with fake cheer.

(Meanwhile, Barry can't be genuinely happy for Caitlin, his own co-cast member...)

Except for the part where Diana urges writers and directors of color and from the LGBTQ community to step up to the plate and help start a meaningful conversation on all kinds of sexuality—the repetitive finger snapping sounds coming from the cast of 'Freeland' startle Caitlin and a few other guests—her speech is pretty light, with some BDSM-themed puns that make the crowd chuckle.

Of course, the long-awaited 'Best Lead Actor' trophy gets everyone's undivided attention. The competition is fierce this year.

Caitlin's favorite runners are Clark Kent for the movie 'The Last Son', Bruce Wayne for 'Lost Childhood,' and Hal Jordan for 'The Cheater's Advocate'. All of the ten candidates are very good actors, to be honest, it's actually hard to tell who'll get it.

The person who introduces the award is none other than Lex Luthor, who everyone loves to hate because he's always playing heinous characters, but he does it so well that he's earned a few 'Best Actor' trophies himself. He reminds the audience that the award doesn't just acknowledge the actor's talent or how well the character is written or the popularity of the movie, but that the award also acknowledges the impact of the movie's lead role on the industry and on society as a whole because of its originality and _no freaking way,_ Caitlin doesn't want to believe it, no, no, he can't have _two_ —

"...Barry Allen, 'On The Mend'!" Lex announces with a big smile, and Caitlin stands up only because Cisco does, as do Linda and the rest of the cast. Barry climbs back on the stage with wide eyes, and he looks star struck as he shakes Luthor's hand and exchanges a few words with him.

Oh, he admires other actors? Caitlin was under the impression that he thinks himself more talented than everyone _except Iris_.

Something happens to Barry between the moment people gradually stop cheering for him and the moment he approaches the mic at the stand. 

Ah.

He's looking at Iris, isn't he? Caitlin can't make sure without being obvious, but the direction of Barry's gaze seems right.

Suddenly, he loses that nerdy air about him and there's this aura of frustration, bordering anger, that's emanating from him, which isn't what one would expect from someone granted such honors.

But that aura makes him look sharper, colder, and a bit more mature. And it makes him look very, very attractive.

Maybe he does deserve the title of sexiest man of the year...

"You know, I've watched most of the movies that won an award tonight," are his first words to the audience, delivered in a flat tone.

Silence meets him as his gaze scans the room.

"Not that I watch that many movies in the first place," he keeps going. "It's just that the same ten or so movies were nominated for multiple categories, the ones I was cast in included." 

Oh, God.

Does he have to be a social activist _everywhere?_ He's part of the system! Is it not enough that he helped Iris get paid the same as him? _That'_ s revolutionary!

He's going to get backlash for this, and Caitlin might become collateral damage. Ugh!

"I've watched twice as many other movies that I believe should've been nominated," Barry argues. "Not just because I personally like them, but because the critics rave about them, and because those movies were nominated for other less prestigious but carefully deliberated awards. There should be some overlap, don't you think?"

A collective 'um-hmm' comes from several people in the crowd, including the cast of 'Freeland'.

Including _Cisco_ right next to Caitlin.

Barry makes a show of inspecting the trophy, holding at arm length with one hand.

"Best Lead Actor," he reads the engraved words at the base, before looking back at the audience then turning to a mildly confused Lex Luthor standing not far from him; then he completely turns around, as if he's looking for someone backstage.

When he turns back around, he shields his eyes and stares at the source of the spotlight illuminating him on the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, I'm not the lead actor of the movie 'On The Mend'," he speaks to an imaginary audience, drawing a few confused exclamations and gasps from the audience. "I am the _co-lead_ actor of the movie. Iris West is the co-lead actress, _not_ a supporting actress."

This time Caitlin is one with the crowd when it boos the absent judges.

She's upset on Iris' account, too! Not just about the nomination, but about the rumors that Iris didn't audition for her role, when she actually did! For multiple roles of the movie in fact. Caitlin was a bit worried when they both auditioned for Crystal Frost, but Iris being a polyglot and athletic meant that she had to get one of the orphans.

"But you know what? I'll take it," Barry announces as he wraps both hands around the trophy and cradles it to his chest, making the crowd laughs. "I'll take it for the fans, and for all the hard-working people who made this movie happen, the first one being Linda Park!"

Most people clap for Linda, and Barry even puts his trophy back on the stand to clap along. When the room is quiet again, Barry's gaze is once again scanning the crowd.

"And I'll take it because there's no better platform for upcoming actors like me to pass on this message," he announced, pauses then stares at...Caitlin?

Shouldn't he be looking at Cisco? Why _her?_

"Because, as was said in both trailers of the movie," he starts again when he faces forward again, "This isn't about me."

"Say it again!" Anissa Pierce shouts with a loud clap.

"This," Barry repeats slowly, grabbing the trophy and holds it up by his head. "Is. Not. About. Me."

"And I'm looking at you, Caitlin," he keeps going, making Caitlin's heart skip a bit then catch up to it twice as fast as people direct their gazes at her. 

"Because _you_ explained it so well," he claims.

She did? Then why does he sound like he's being sarcastic?

"As Caitlin said earlier, 'On The Mend' aims at bringing awareness to the many points of view of the American and world histories that are not told. They're not told, not because people don't want to learn about them or because the people who can share them don't want to educate us through entertainment...but because the money invested in mainstream entertainment funds the telling of the same stories, from similar if not identical points of view, over and over again. To the point that new movies are familiar to us from the first few seconds of their trailers. So familiar, in fact, that we sometimes can anticipate the next line of a dialogue."

The room goes eerily quiet, and Caitlin's worries that Barry has made a blunder, because 'Burette: Back To Basics' can be argued to be one of the movies he's criticizing.

"I'm not dismissing the impact of those familiar stories," he promises, and Caitlin hears Cisco sigh in relief. "They can be very powerful indeed. There are days when life is just rough and watching a relatable story or a familiar scene validates our own individual stories, and seeing the protagonists get their happy ending reassures us that we too can achieve happiness...Well, I say 'we', but I'm not sure how many relatable stories Russian-Americans or Angolan-Americans find when they go to big movie theaters."

Snapping fingers again.

"The fact is, we're here to recognize and celebrate _art imitating life_ ," Barry points out. "And I hope that most if not all of you, my fellow actors and actresses, agree with my humble but strong opinion that when it comes to art, when it comes to acting...playing the same roles over and over again, just because it helps pay the bills, is unfulfilling!"

Caitlin's body moves without her permission: she claps along with a good half of the room. 

That's _so true_. Caitlin had acted as the one-dimensional love interest of a side kick for three years, as part of a soap opera she started right after high school. Then during college she'd had to stick with similar roles because she didn't have the time or money to audition for challenging roles, though every new semester at CCU helped her improve those roles, so much so that the directors and co-cast members would tell her to stick to the script. And because she needed to pay her bills she couldn't quit the smothering atmosphere of the sets she worked at.

Playing Crystal Frost had been challenging but so educational, and though she wasn't where she wanted to be yet, Caitlin knew that she'd vastly upgraded her actress' toolbox thanks to 'On The Mend'.

"And these stories aren't always about us! 'On The Mend' isn't _my_ story!" Barry keeps going when the applause is quiet enough for him to be heart clearly. "I'm an actor, a _messenger._ I'm here to tell whoever's watched or will watch the movie that there's more out there. That you shouldn't settle for anything less than your dreams, and heck yeah making your dreams come true is a challenging enterprise, but the price to pay is—so...worth it in the end."

Did his voice crack just now? Caitlin isn't even sure, maybe he just paused.

"Tell them Barry, tell them!" Iris is the one who speaks up this time, against everyone's expectations, and the audience quiets down because Barry freezes and stares at her for ten good seconds.

"Oh shit, his parents are watching," Cisco recalls. "Should've kept them apart..."

Why? Barry's parents should be ashamed of themselves for remaining racists after all the years their son has very likely tried to educate them. Barry didn't even thank his parents in his speech for 'Best Supporting Actor' and it doesn't look like he will for this one either.

Caitlin almost awws at the way Barry smiles tenderly upon Iris before putting on his professional mask again.

"And if Linda Park had been nominated for her mind-blowing creativity tonight...just _acknowledged_ , you know?" He brings up, his tone even.

Caitlin squeeze her trophy to her chest.

"David Singh, Chester P. Runk, Kamilla Hwang, Allegra Garcia, Esperanza Garcia, and Cisco Ra..nah, Cisco, you're famous enough."

"Whatever, man!" Cisco shouts back as people burst in laughter and Barry smiles widely at his best friend.

"With their names up on the academy's website and this," Barry resumes as he brandishes his trophy again. "More investors would fund movies like 'On The Mend', movies that aim to present multifaceted truths of history, as Caitlin articulated earlier." he asserts.

People nod in agreement all around Caitlin, but she can't nod too because now she understands what this is all about, and it's limit if she maintains her grip on her award.

"Most importantly, if talented people of color got acknowledged for telling these multifaceted truths, then less of them would hesitate to join the film industry and help directors provide those diverse point of views. Because, as tonight showed, it's hard for people of color, for my own co-cast members to get up _here_."

He waves at the stand in front of him.

"Some people believe that there's a need for a separate system for the minority groups of this country," he resumes somberly. "That's a valid demand, but I'm here to tell you that the system is already _changing_ , and it's up to all of us to change it for the better so that we can all thrive, united because of our different experiences, _not_ despite of them. And I'm here to urge the jury of the Midway Academy Awards to do better next year. There's room for more than ten movies to receive honor and prestige."

Says the one who got _two_ trophies at once...

"I'm just the messenger, so don't shoot me," Barry pleads humorously, and the crowd laughs on cue, "but let's talk about it some more on all relevant platforms, and let's back our words with actions," Barry concludes as he lifts his trophy once again. "Thank you."

Loud whistles resonate in the room before the cast of 'Freeland' stands up at the same time as Cisco does.

Then everyone else stands up.

Caitlin's shocked expression mirrors Barry's as she belatedly clambers up to her feet. She makes up for her tardiness by loudly cheering for her co-cast member.

"That's my best friend!" Cisco shouts as he points a finger at Barry who laughs and shakes his head before getting down the stage.

"Hey!" Caitlin reacts with mock jealousy.

"My best _guy_ friend," Cisco specifies before kissing her on the cheek. "And my best _girl_ friend got an award too! Our party's gonna be so lit! I should invite the guys of 'Freeland', and get autographs in the process!"

"Cisco!" Caitlin chides her one and only best friend.

She's really not jealous. Barry was Cisco's best friend first, no matter that he chose to go to Star City for college and didn't help him create his company.

And yeah, he paraphrased Caitlin's speech a lot, but Caitlin herself got inspired by Iris' words at an interview during their first promo tour, so...

_Oh._

* * *

Cisco's party _is_ 'lit', but also _loud,_ so after she runs out of vague compliments to give Anissa and Diana for 'Switch 2', Caitlin wanders around the floor to find a room where the hip hop songs don't feel like the artists are screaming in her ear using a mic.

She freezes a few steps after passing a small lounging room that looks occupied...because it's occupied by Barry and Iris.

With Iris dancing _on Barry's lap!_

Caitlin bends over as not to be seen through the glass opening when she walks back to the door, plastering herself against the side that's hinged to the wall. She doesn't need to watch them directly, there's a huge mirror in front of their couch so she can see their reflections.

Is this...is this Iris West's true personality? Is the elegance and poise just a front? Her sinuous moves look practiced, or is she one of those black people who are born expert dancers? Well, if strippers qualify as dancers—how's Barry keeping a...not straight face per se, but there's more interest than lust in his eyes, and he's not blushing at all even when Iris turns to face him and straddle his thighs. She slides her hands up his arms, round his shoulders and wraps them behind his neck.

Caitlin swallows, then quickly checks behind her to make sure than no one's coming over.

She shouldn't be eavesdropping, but...Cisco did ask to report to him if she saw these two act suspiciously and this definitely qualifies as—

"Underground?" Barry asks with a tilt of his head as he lifts a hand to...fix Iris' hair. "Yeah, Underground, starring Amaya Jiwe! The strip club scene. When did you learn to dance like a stripper?"

"It's 'exotic dancer'," Iris corrects him as she lifts off his lap and drops on the couch next to him. "But yep, good answer. Didn't see Amaya tonight, but I think I saw her tweet about a new role. Girl's bu-sy!"

Huh?

Iris was lap dancing just to _impersonate_ a movie character? 

No wonder Barry was so calm, he had his professional mask on. Are they playing a next-level game of 'Guessture'? Is that how _they_ relax?

"You didn't answer my question," Barry points out as he slowly turns around, bending one leg so he can scoot closer to Iris, and oh! He grabs her thigh and hooks her leg over his bent one at the knee, then slips his finger underneath the bottom hem of her jumpsuit.

"When did you learn to dance like a stripper?" He asks again, and Caitlin's surprised that she actually hears him because his voice went low and quiet.

Ah, the door isn't completely closed, that's why. Do they not know? If anyone walked in on them...

"Cheerleaders are dancers, Bear," she answers confidently. "Some dance skills transfer from one style to the next."

Caitlin holds her breath as Iris leans over towards Barry...to grab one of the cocktail drinks on the coffee table—both non-alcoholic according to the blue spiraling straws.

"Thanks," she adds to Caitlin's temporary surprise.

Then she sees that Barry's removed her heel, and he's now unbuckling the other.

Is Caitlin wasting her time here? They are clearly not _flirting!_ But they are incredibly comfortable around each other, which isn't surprising, but the realization hits differently in this non-professional setting.

"Hey, did you apologize to Caitlin?" Iris asks after taking a long sip of her drink, making both Caitlin and Barry tense on opposite sides of the door. "You ended up never posting your congratulations on her timeline because of your fight with your mom, remember? She probably thinks that you're upset about her nomination on my behalf."

Meaning that he _isn't?_

"At this point she's definitely convinced that I dislike her," Barry argues with a casual shrug of his shoulders and he put Iris' heels next to his own shoes.

Caitlin hadn't noticed that he was in socks.

"I don't," Barry resumes. "Dislike her, that is, but couldn't she credit you for inspiring her speech?"

 _That's_ why he'd been giving her his creepily even fake smile? Really?

"Did you have to credit her so often in yours to make a point?" Iris immediately counters as she slaps the back of her fingers on his shoulder. "That's so petty, Allen!"

"I hope it was petty enough for her to notice," he drawls. "Seriously, she's already getting so much hate from the fans because this prejudiced jury gave her an award that should've been yours—no, Iris, the fact that you were unfairly placed in the same category as her doesn't matter, okay? It was clearly done on purpose to spite you because you got paid the same as me. But then Caitlin borrows your words from an interview everybody's watched? Come on! We're all supposed to bring _changes_ to the system, not perpetuate its stereotypes! Plus, I can't help resenting her for all the time I wasted doing re-takes of my scenes with her."

Oh, no...

"She's _not_ flirty!" Iris defends Caitlin. "I really think it's just her default friendly face! Come on, don't be influenced by your own fans, it's supposed to be the other way around."

"You weren't there on set when we filmed together," Barry reminds her. "Thank goodness Cisco was. I didn't want to sound like a jerk asking Linda to keep trying. You might be right, maybe Caitlin's done too many romantic comedies. Wasn't she in 'Mimosa'? I know very well that she doesn't have a thing for me. It just...it was almost reminiscent of working with Patty. Okay, no, that's not fair. Patty was over the top and she was doing it on purpose, on and off-camera."

Oh God. 

Caitlin is _mortified_. She truly hadn't meant to flirt with him on or off camera! Oh God, she really is a terrible actress! But not the worst, apparently, thank heavens for dumb blondes like Spivot!

"I'm surprised that you weren't offered to appear in Burette Three," Iris admits, then frowns at her own slurping sound, realizing that she's finished her drink.

"I was offered almost double Patty's paycheck to co-star in it, actually," Barry informs her. "Despite me telling them that I've already committed to another movie. I hope that they paid attention to my speech tonight. I'm not taking the role of a nerd in the next five years!"

"Linda's movie is going to ruin us for all the others, I can already tell," Iris declares before casually shifting on the couch to drape her upper body over his lap, resting her middle and lower back on his thighs. "Well, you might have to retire early if the fans and critics take your role the wrong way. Raven is just as bad as Roan*, but some of your lines really make you sound just like a white suprema—"

Caitlin has to slap a hand to her mouth to prevent herself from gasping because Barry's hand flew to Iris' throat and is now gripping it as he looms over her menacingly.

"I won't hear your lies again, demoness," he basically growls.

His voice is almost unrecognizable: it's lower and raspier, and he has an unidentifiable accent, wait actually he sounds like those Scandinavians who speak fluent English. And his glare is cruel, the space between his eyebrows is pinched and if Caitlin didn't know him she'd think that it's a permanent feature on his face.

If she'd been in Iris' spot she would've freaked out by his abrupt change of behavior, and she totally would've hurt herself trying to get off of him.

Barry presses his thumb on Iris' lower lip then draws a slow and tight circle over both lips. He's smearing her lipstick!

"Your words won't poison my mind the way they did my sorcerers," he warns, and Caitlin has to bend over and get close to the door opening to hear him better. "I'm immune to all forms of magic."

Caitlin returns to her initial spying position when she hears Barry let out an expletive she doesn't catch because...

Damn. That's...oh wow!

Iris is _licking_ his finger pad, slowly, teasingly, then she opens her mouth wide and closes it around the thumb, taking half of it inside her mouth while holding his outraged but unblinking gaze.

Holy...! Is that part of their next movie's script? Is it an epic fantasy? It's not PG, for sure, Caitlin's feeling warm just watching their _reflections..._

"Bite me and I'll cut the thumb of every single prisoner polluting the air of my jail, you bitch," Barry threatens in a harsh breath, his face looking straight down at Iris now so Caitlin can't see his expression anymore.

But she can perfectly watch as Iris lets go of his thumb with a quiet 'pop', and Barry drags his wet digit down her chin and neck, then his hand works its way down Iris' side, her waist, her hip, then his fingers spread wide and slide under the roundness of her butt, where they stay and start kneading her covered flesh.

 _Definitely_ PG-13, unless that's the most indecent it gets! 'Indecent' isn't even the right word for their interaction. It's powerful and seductive but also the air between them is crackling with sparks of danger.

Caitlin's _very_ intrigued by Linda's next movie!

"Damn it," Barry sighs after his hand suddenly stops moving, and Caitlin sees the tip of his ears go red before he straightens back to a seated position, biting his lower lip and batting his long eyelashes—they're so unnecessarily long!—as Iris props herself up on an elbow. 

"You bitch?" Iris repeats before letting out a cute giggle. "Isn't it supposed to be witch, or maybe wench? Was that a _Freudian slip_ , nerd?"

"Iris!" He chides her as his cheeks redden, and he rolls his eyes at her when she rolls to her side, facing him but shaking with laughter. "That's not funny! I've never thought that of you, you know that! Stop...laughing!" He adds as he bumps up his knees, making Iris' torso waver on his thighs but she just laughs harder, and he ends up scoffing and crossing his arms over his chest, like a petulant child.

Aww!

Caitlin thought that she'd seen them interact as themselves on set, but their current carefree, juvenile behavior right now suggests that they'd been professional from start to finish.

Maybe Cisco's right, and Barry's crush is harmless? He and Iris are simply involved in a secret but lifelong platonic friendship? 

The vibrations of a cellphone gets Caitlin alert again, and she hears people talking not far away from the adjacent hallway.

"...it's Nora, Barry, come on," Iris is saying when she turns back around to look at the mirror inside the lounging room. "Give her another chance?"

Another chance for what? Nora, as in Nora Allen, Barry's racist mother?

Caitlin almost slaps a hand to her forehead, because of course it's _none of her business._ She slowly backs away from the door before she can further violate her co-cast members' privacy.

As she joins Cisco on the dance floor, immune to the second-hand embarrassment of watching him move like a lunatic, Caitlin reflects on Barry and Iris' comments about her. She's relieved that Iris doesn't think poorly of her, but Barry made a good point: she should know better.

Getting to know her hometown's celebrities has really made her realize that she's far from being an accomplished actress, whatever her trophy tonight suggests.

Well, her trophy has nothing to do with acknowledging her talent in the first place. That's what she realized when Barry not so subtly explained that the lack of diversity in the industry is due to an unequal distribution of _money._

The MAA totally used Caitlin to pass a message to Iris: that just because she got paid the same as Barry for the movie doesn't mean that they see her as his equal, regardless of what the critics, the fans, her peers and Barry himself say.

Caitlin wants to slap herself. She really thought that she deserved that Best Supporting Actress award. She willfully ignored the fact that she was only one of many supporting actresses in the cast, that Allegra, Esperanza, Kamilla and Lyla had the same right to be nominated. The first three didn't make it on the list because they're women of color, just like Linda, and Lyla is a vocal social activist, just not as intense as Barry but she would've called out their hypocrisy upfront. The jury had to rely on the oblivious white actress, aka Caitlin herself.

She's not oblivious anymore, and now she can acknowledge that one of the many Tumblr threads about her nomination wasn't totally written out of pettiness:

**Isailidontsink**

We all know that Caitlin Snow got nominated because she's an ignorant white woman. An easy pawn for TPTB, who they tried to pitch against a queen. OTQ's too nice as always but I can't clap for that lone stalactite. #ridiculousshipnamereference #westallen4ever

**preternaturalchick57**

Snow's nomination is definitely a political move. A movie's praised for its DIVERSE cast, and they nominated a SECOND white person? And yeah they didn't pick Lyla because she would've called them on it. I hope that Barry will if he gets Best Actor, but he might not get it because he only expressed his gratitude for the nomination on the Burette movie. They high key thought they could flatter the #king

**leavewestaloneyoucreep**

It's ALIEN who stole Iris' Best Actress nomination! How can he be Best Actor when he just played a nerd aka himself, huh? Snow's boring, but at least she's just a product of the system, she doesn't have an agenda. ALIEN's not a king, he's a creepy BIOCHEMIST both on screen and irl. Meaning he's not a product of the system, he MANIPULATES the system. Let that sink in. #wakeupiris#burnthestalkeratthestake

Well, starting today, Caitlin won't be a pawn of whoever those fans think are the powers to be. She's going to educate herself on social injustice and do her part in reducing it. To paraphrase Barry, she'll be a part of the system that pushes it towards something better. 

* * *

"Did you know that Barry's got haters?" She asks Cisco when they spill into the back of his limo, half-drunk and happy as they leave the party. "Like, they call him a creepy stalker and stuff like that?"

"Oh, yeah!" Cisco answers too loudly. "The West-Alone! Weird bunch, think that he's obsessed with Iris and that the professional relationship is one-sided on his part. Lunatics. Takes all kinds, I guess..."

"I guess," Caitlin echoes before the two of them doze off in the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Joe's POV's next! If I'm not ready for it you can't be ready either!
> 
> I was inspired by Joaquin Phoenix's speech at the 2020 BAFTA, though I only heard it once and Phoenix likely said it better and wasn't as dramatic. That audience though! They couldn't even pretend to be woke LMAO letting the world see their true colors. How they're going to be uncomfortable like they hadn't noticed it was a thing to talk about. I died at the way the camera person tried to find black people in that crowd 💀🤣
> 
> *Raven and Roan, characters from another CW show, The 100 (diehard Bellarke shipper here)! I don't know how that happened, but I was an IceMechanic shipper back in s4 LOL. Are they a thing in the books? Anyways, I borrowed the names because they sound cool and Barry and Iris are playing characters very similar to these two.


	8. Something That I'm Proud Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe has been proud of his daughter since the day she was born. She’s strong, bold, and has a heart of gold. She’s a role model for many, but of course she couldn’t stop at being inspirational.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: there's a letter in **bold and indented to the right** in the third flashback that's really bad. It's emotionally abusive to Iris. It contains nonsense conspiracy theory, but I hope that you won't be shocked by it because it echoes words from the past two chapters.
> 
> Also big warning for a main character getting hurt. There's (medical) talk of blood.
> 
> I promised that the Allens won't call Iris names, so even if it looks like it's going to happen in this chapter, it won't. Don't worry.  
> It's actually my first time writing a Joe's POV and I'm not confident that I did him justice.
> 
> I'm not a medical doctor, lawyer or police officer, so please don't take anything said here as facts!

"We'd like to sue," are the first words that come out of Henry Allen's mouth as he holds onto the shoulders of his sobbing wife. He himself looks like he's been crying and is about to cry some more.

No 'hello', no 'how are you doing, neighbor?', and of course no 'excuse us for waking you negroes at three in the morning'.

Not that Joe except common courtesy from his racist neighbors. In fact, he is wondering if this is actually a dream. He can't remember the last time the Allens spoke to him and his wife.

Alright, that's a lie. The cop remembers every single interaction he's had with the Allens.

***

The first time was when they moved into the neighborhood, Mrs. Allen so pregnant that Joe hadn't thought twice before crossing the street to help her husband carry the last of the boxes left on the sidewalk, which she was inspecting one after the other, checking off a list after the U-haul folks had left.

But before Joe could finish crossing the road, the redhead had stopped him in his track with a look that reminded him of a reprimanding school teacher.

"Hello, yes, may I help you?" She'd asked, and really there had been nothing in her voice to indicate that she was anything but curious about what a stranger could possibly be doing approaching her on her property uninvited.

Only the stranger was in _uniform_ and smiling?

"Hi! I'm Joe West, I live across the street!" Joe had introduced himself, sweeping his arm behind him to show his porch. "Welcome to the neighborhood! Are you new to Central City, too?"

"Thank you, we're fine, have a good day," had been Mr. Allen's first words to him as he'd rushed down the steps of his porch and made a show to shield his pregnant wife.

Alright?

The cop hadn't insisted, he'd thought that maybe those two were the type of white folks who feared all black men, you know what he means? Didn't matter that the black man in question was in charge of protecting the community. All good, a little ignorance didn't hurt anything but weak-minded people's feelings, and Joe was made of tougher stuff. Anyways, he'd been certain that the neighbor would be more welcoming to his own pregnant wife, who had just started to show even though she was twenty-four weeks pregnant—six months, yes, shouldn't she be bigger? Joe and Francine hadn't wished to know the sex of the baby, they'd wanted the surprise, but Joe had been sure that it would be a tiny little girl. Yeah, he knew, all newborns were tiny, but a baby girl...He couldn't wait!

"Honey? You know the new neighbors?" His wife had called out to him a few days later, after she returned from bringing a house-warming gift basket.

"Yeah, the ones to whom I'm supposed to bring my grandmother's noodle dish next, to demonstrate how to use all those spices you gave them?" Joe had teasingly asked back, right before he'd looked at her from his comfortable seat on the couch, watching the local news.

She still had the basket?

"Sweetheart, it's no wonder that they were distant with you the other day. They're racist," the lawyer had declared casually as she'd carefully placed the basket behind the door. "Well, I can always give them to Moira down the street, and she'll cook something for them..." 

"Francine Elliott," Joe had called sternly, appalled by her accusation. "You can't just—"

Someone had knocked on the door, and Joe had quickly joined his wife at the entrance when she'd opened it on Moira O'Connell, the owner of the dry-cleaning on Siegel Parkway. Everyone loved the lady, she knew all the tricks and tips to keep one's house clean and beautiful.

"Goodness, Francine, I am so _sorry!_ " She'd exclaimed, her hands crossed over her chest. "I didn't know...maybe I shouldn't ask for my deep dish back? Folks like that in our neighborhood! They're from out of state, you know? Nora Allen's from Star City, Dr. Allen from Boston...Goodness, this is...I'm so sorry!"

Yeah, okay, if another white person, who herself had her fair share of well-intentioned but ignorant opinions too boot, accused the neighbors of being 'folks like that'...

Joe hadn't minded so much, it's not like he had time to socialize with the neighbors even though he did stop to make small talk now and then during patrols. Francine was even busier than him, usually, but she'd been about to work from home for the last six weeks of her pregnancy up until their child was three months old. And Joe had known what his wife had looked forward to bonding with the lady across the street over their pregnancies.

Most importantly, Joe and Francine had been equally disappointed thinking that their kid wouldn't be good friends with the neighbors' kid. It would've been nice to have two other pairs of eyes watching out for their child.

(Well, Nora and Henry Allen did watch out for Iris a couple of years later, making sure that whenever Francine, Joe, Joe's niece Charz or the babysitter would bring Iris to play at the neighborhood playground, they'd drag their oblivious toddler home. Did the Allen kid even know that the little black girl he wasn't allowed to play with was his neighbor?)

***

The second time Joe had interacted with the Allens had been when Nora had come to CCPD to pick up her son Barry. The eight-year-old boy had been brought to the station after a runaway attempt, and for a few minutes recently promoted Detective Joe West had been baffled at the miserable-looking kid, on the verge of crying. Why had he been brought to him? They were social services liaisons...

The cop had known that Barry and Iris had become fast friends in first grade, but with him and Francine being as busy as the Allens, he'd thought it pointless and most importantly unfair to forbid his daughter to play with the boy.

After Iris had cheerfully told them that she'd made friends with the neighbor the afternoon of her first day of school, Joe and Francine had warned her not to insist talking to her new friend's parents because they were prejudiced.

She'd read kids' books about it, but those sugarcoated the issues as much as Francine and Joe had tried not to. The books made it sound like the bigots dropped their ignorance and intolerance after their first interaction with people of the groups they despised.

"Is that why Barry and I never played together before?" Iris had asked them, looking so innocent still, not fully understanding what prejudice truly entailed.

"Yes baby girl," Joe had confirmed with a sad smile. "It's not your fault and it's not Barry's fault. Not everyone is like his parents, you understand me? There are many good white folks out there. Just like there are good and bad Black folks, and Asian folks, and Latinos and Latinas—"

"And Muslims!" Iris had added, before correcting herself. "Wait, no, that's...that's religion? Faith? But it's all the same? I mean, _we're_ all the same. God made us all the same and thought it was good to look and sound different, and celebrate Him differently, right? Pastor Land said 'the more the merrier'! It's just that we don't always understand each other, so we get angry. That's not good."

"As long as no one hurts you or calls you names, it's okay sweetheart," Francine had promised her, looking as emotional as Joe had felt then. "What do you do if you're alone and it looks like people want to hurt you? Not just white folks, _anyone_ who scares you, even a little?"

"Run!" Iris had answered automatically before squinting her eyes, trying to remember all the rules. "In zigzags, and _scream_ until someone helps me, knock on doors and say 'please help me, call 911!' and I only let a lady help me—or a mister and a lady together. Black folks are best, but most people in Central City are nice! If there's no one around and the scary people don't leave, I find a place to hide and stay quiet." then Iris had switched to whispering: "then I go home right away, but if I know that no one's home, I go to the police station walking on busy streets only, and wait for dad there. Or go to the D.A.'s office to see you mom, but that's a bit far...oh!" She'd then exclaimed, her volume back too normal. "If I'm too far from the station too, I go to the first open public place, one with a sign and a reception...nist, and I ask to call for an ex—es-cort. The number is in my backpack but I know it by heart! It's..."

As heartbreaking as it had been to watch his innocent baby girl go through an emergency procedure that no child should need to rehearse, Joe had been proud that his daughter was as ready as could be to face danger on her own. He'd hoped with all his heart that she'd never have to, and that she miraculously would never get to deal with the Allens.

That second wish had been granted...for two years. Two weeks prior to Barry being picked up by patrol officers, he and Iris had had a fallout. Iris hadn't told Joe and Francine exactly what had happened, they'd spent most of that evening lecturing her about fighting in school with that boy, Tony Woodward. After everything, Iris had announced that she'd made a new friend in her class, Linda Park, and she had asked if they could invite Linda and her cousin Kevin to the block party that weekend. After gently denying the request because Iris couldn't get rewarded after doing something as terrible as fighting in school, Francine had then cautiously asked about Barry, because the teachers had told them on the phone what they'd thought had happened. Iris had just shrugged.

"I guess we're not best friend anymore," she'd told them with a stoic face, but then she'd pursed her lips to the side the way she always did when she was upset but knew that there was nothing she could do to change the situation. "We had fun, but it's...yeah."

Joe had struggled not to cry for his baby girl when he'd taken his turn to hug her after Francine. Iris was so strong already, physically and mentally. He hated that she had to be that way so soon, but he couldn't help being so proud of her. She really was the best of him and Francine.

For those past two weeks, Iris had been such trooper, being grateful for her friendship with Linda—who was Korean-American and did Karate, so her friendship was more likely to last—but she'd clearly missed Barry. The babysitter and Charz had worryingly let Francine and Joe know that Iris wouldn't go to the playground since the school incident. Barry's babysitter had been the one exclusively taking Barry there since school started and she'd allowed him to play with all the other kids.

When Joe had asked his colleagues why he was being responsible for the boy, the patrol officers had informed him that Barry had tried to evade them at first, but when they'd caught him he'd calmly told them that he was neighbor with Detective Joe West instead of giving them his home address. Not only had Joe been surprised by the boy's refusal to go home, but he'd been surprised that the boy had been so close to Iris that she'd told him about her dad's new title and he'd _remembered._

"My parents are racists!" The Allen kid had suddenly cried, drawing a lot of sympathizing looks from people in the vicinity, cops and civilians alike.

"Everyone... _everyone_ in school knows! No one wants...to play with me...I don't really care about the others, b-but...Iris!" He'd said her name with so much emotions as his voice had broken down.

Oh Lord. The boy had a crush on his daughter, didn't he? That Tony boy too, maybe. Iris had been defending Barry from the bullies, apparently, so it made sense that he'd get particularly attached to her.

(Hadn't she been the one keeping him calm when he'd broken his arm at the playground the year before, while waiting for the ambulance? Barry's first babysitter had been fired afterwards, and since then Moira's sister had been watching over him after school and she obeyed the Allen's instructions.)

Joe hadn't known what to say to comfort the kid crying in front of him other than pat his shaky shoulders and hand him tissues. He surely could understand living with the burden of having your folks considered bad people, though in a vague, generalized way. A lot of Black folks and other people of color had to deal with it, whether their family members were actually criminals or not.

 _Being racist_ wasn't a crime, though. Racist people rarely faced any consequences for holding such shallow and hateful beliefs. There were occasional announcements about federal employees losing their jobs over racist comments or behaviors, but that had never dissuaded other racists from acting out of pocket.

Part of Joe was proud of the weird solidarity the other kids were indirectly displaying for Iris. Carmichael Elementary school was fairly representative of the district's community, and if so many of Iris' peers were already standing up against prejudice at such a young age—they were doing it the wrong way, but they were _kids,_ Joe didn't expect them to come up with mature solutions—instead of being oblivious to it, then the future might very well be bright.

Nevertheless, it was disheartening that Barry's social life in school had turned so poorly because of his parents' sins. Nora and Henry Allen weren't even vocally racists. They were both very polite, just like most people in the neighborhood. Moira wouldn't have known if the Allens hadn't suddenly rushed to end their conversation with her after she'd brought them her famed lasagnas. Moira had then watched the Allens close their door on Francine after instructing her "do not come here again, none of you people are welcome here. Thank you for your understanding!"

The Allens rarely participated in neighborhood events, and they always went out of state during the holidays to celebrate with their families. Joe had no idea if Barry had relatives his own age he could play with when he wasn't in Central City. 

"Have your parents called Iris or any other...non-white person bad names, Barry?" The Detective had asked, sighing in relief when the boy had shaken his head vigorously.

"They call Iris 'that girl'," he'd admitted after worrying his lips with his teeth, a tooth gap showing. "Iris' not a girl, or a tomboy. She's _Iris!_ "

The boy had looked ashamed, sad and angry all at once. Joe had felt for him, especially because he definitely had a crush on his daughter.

Detective West had hoped that the crush would pass, because there was nothing to do about this situation. The Allens hadn't even opened their door when Joe and his Francine had tried to engage them that first week after Iris and Barry had stopped playing with each other.

It was unfair, but such was life sometimes. At least Iris was moving on. Barry had to be a good kid for her to befriend him, but Joe himself couldn't stress himself out over the boy. He was his own parents' responsibility.

Nora Allen had come to pick up her son half an hour after being called to the station. Although at first she'd look righteously angry, she'd quickly calmed down after noticing the judgmental looks that Central City's finest and a few civilians visiting CCPD had been giving her. Someone had even said "let the kid play with _all_ his friends!" making the red-haired woman startle and glare as she tried to identify the speaker. People who'd met her gaze had greeted her politely enough, but Barry's mother must have realized that his son had divulged her shameful...wait, it wasn't a shameful secret, she was openly intolerant. But then she'd known that people knew and _disapproved_ , and she'd looked humbled as she and her son exited the station.

 _Welcome to Central City, Mrs. Allen,_ Joe had said in his head. 

***

The third time Joe interacted with Nora Allen had been one of the most emotional moments of his life.

It had been the summer of Iris' seventeenth birthday. Joe and Francine had exceptionally come home together two days after the event. That had been because Joe had been an expert witness for one of his wife's cases. They'd done good by their city, helping put away a rapist and killer.

Joe had been so proud, and at first he'd felt a bit disappointed when he'd entered the house and found his daughter watching...'Beauty and the Beast', the Broadway rendition of 1994?

Iris had let him and Francine know on her birthday that she was firmly set on her path to become an actress. She would be eighteen by the time she started college, and she would be able to pay for an entire school year in a junior college with regular credit thanks to her modeling money that they'd been saving for her. She'd wanted to avoid student loans for as long as possible. She'd hoped to land more gigs to do so, especially jobs in collaboration with Barry since those apparently paid more.

Joe had still been unsure how those two had ended up modeling for the exact same teenage fashion magazines as models, after being hired as _costume and props assistants!_ But Iris had been very reasonable about her schedules, and since her school work hadn't suffered from becoming a local teenage idol, Joe and Francine hadn't seen any reason to forbid her from making honest money.

So he'd swallowed his conservative views of the entertainment industry and had allowed himself to be proud of his girl for sailing through high school so easily so far. She had a 3.5 GPA, which had been more than decent for a cheerleader and model. And she clearly hadn't wanted a career in the entertainment industry just for show: she'd wanted to help bring social progress to the still very exclusive industry, and once she made it big she would give back to the community.

Joe had been particularly proud that Iris had started using her popularity as a teenage idol to advocate for social justice and encourage young girls _and_ boys to live by high moral standards. Her ex-boyfriend, Malcolm, was a very articulate young man who was very knowledgeable about Black history. Joe had been disappointed to hear that they'd broken up, but Iris had seemed overwhelmed juggling too many aspects of her life. She'd mentioned some other guy's name, David something. He'd been there at her afternoon birthday party, which had gone smoothly. Linda, Kevin and Charz, the designated chaperons for the birthday girl, had probably stayed behind to help Iris clean up because Joe and Francine had returned to an immaculate living room and kitchen. Anyways, Iris had assured her parents that there was nothing serious yet between her and the David guy, and that she wouldn't see him during the summer. She had enrolled for her first college-level class at Midtown College, and she had rehearsal for her school play. Plus her modeling gigs. Joe had been happy with her decision to skip the dating.

After welcoming them back home, Iris had lowered the TV's volume and had asked them for a summary of the trial. Francine had started recounting the events while Joe had directly gone upstairs to quickly change out of his clothes.

"Joe! Joseph!" Francine had shouted with distress after a few minutes, making him wear his tea shirt inside out and stumble down the stairs to see what was wrong.

He'd stared at his wife, who was cradling his daughter in her arms. Iris had looked small and was shaking so badly, and it had taken the cop some time to focus and hear her quiet sobs.

"What's wrong? What happened?" He'd asked, confused, and for a second he'd wondered if it was the musical making her cry. 'Beauty and the Beast' had a few sad scenes, but Iris didn't emote easily for _fictional_ works!

"I'm sorry, I touched them all I think," Francine told him between the soft words she was whispering to Iris. "Please tell me that your forensics people will find fingerprints on this."

"What?" Joe had reacted, his confusion peaking until he saw the newspapers cuts and printed pages spread atop a manila envelope on the coffee table.

After pulling out tissue from a box on the side table, Joe approached the stacks of documents and picked them up one after the other.

Many of them were archived newspaper editorials. Some articles were old, very old.

Quite a few predated the _Civil War._

All the highlighted titles mentioned slave auctions, reward notices for runaway slaves and recounts of lynching. Also highlighted were the names of slave owners, and Joe had quickly seen that they shared the same last name: Thompson.

He'd been about to ask how this archival file was in any way related to them when he'd inspected pages compiling archived announcement of celebrations by that Thompson family, clipped to a A4 format piece of paper where the family tree was clearly shown. Three members from the last two generations of the family had been highlighted.

**Nora Thompson.**

"What," Joe had whispered.

She was connected to an unrelated rectangle via matrimony: **Henry Allen.**

Joe hadn't even bothered to read the name in the bubble of the child resulting from their union.

"Read the letter, Joe, _read the letter,_ " Francine had instructed him, her voice wavering whereas it had remained calm and steady during the entire trial of a heinous criminal.

Yes, there had been a piece of paper that was still on top of the manila envelope. Joe had picked it up carefully, his fingerprints still blocked by the sheet of tissue.

_**"I'm a big fan Iris, you're so pretty and smart, so forgive me for being the bringer of such terrible news.** _

_**Not news, this is more of a WARNING.** _

_**Barry Allen is exploiting you to become famous. He comes from people who exploited yours for centuries.**_

_**Look, read, see how they put a price on the LIVES OF FELLOW HUMAN** _ _**BEINGS.** _

_**The Thompsons are old money, they've been rich for as long as this country has been a country. They were big in the South.**_

_**That house in front of yours? Barry's parents bought it with money that originates from BLACK PEOPLE'S SWEAT AND BLOOD."** _

Sweet Jesus. What...? Who had written that?

_**"You're a queen in the making, Iris West. I've watched you at a game once. You're so much better than the other cheerleaders.** _

_**You were born to be a skilled, inspiring and FAMOUS entertainer, but people barely know about you.** _

_**You know who else was watching you that day at the game? Barry Allen.** _

_**He was no one before, a faceless nerd, but now he's so popular that there are rumors about him running for prom king next year. All because he plagiarized you.** _

_**I heard that you two have been in the same school since first grade. Don't you find it odd that his parents sent him to Central City High School, known for its diverse student body? They're racists and they're rich. Why didn't they send him to a predominantly white private high school, huh? Same reason why they moved across the residence of a black family.** _

_**Think about it. Barry doesn't need to work, so why did he start working at the same company as you? Do you truly think that it's a coincidence that you two started working together? Shouldn't his parents be disgusted that their son is touching a black girl? They're letting him lure you until you trust him completely.** _

_**That's when he'll show you his true colors. He's worst than his parents because he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty so to speak.** _

_**You know that slavery isn't over? Not just in this country, but all overthe world. Just because it's illegal—"**_

"This is nonsense," Joe had declared, refusing to continue reading, turning his horrified gaze to Iris, who'd stopped crying and had fixed her eyes on the TV passed her mom's elbow, watching the musical beyond Francine's shoulder. "Where did you get this?"

"Mailbox," his daughter had replied succinctly.

"Babygirl, even if this genealogy tree isn't fabricated," he'd started then paused, bile rising in his throat.

He had managed to stomp down his disgust. Yes, a large number of white people had owned slaves in this country; his great-great-grand father had been one of those slaves, but that didn't make the slave owners' great-great-grand children monsters.

Or so the cop would've argued, if Nora Allen née Thompson didn't clearly feel _superior_ to him and his daughter because of her skin color...Was she really from old money? Why would she and her family live in their neighborhood rather than a truly wealthy and white one?

"You go there and ask them if it's true, Joe," Francine had demanded then, her fury contained but no less present. "You go ask, because if _I_ get within three feet of that woman!"

"Frans, it has to be fake," Joe had argued.

"You go there. And. Ask. Them!" The lawyer had shouted at him. "About why their son's been stuck to my daughter like some white shadow, going as far as working in the same company..."

"Mom," Iris had weakly objected.

"No, don't 'mom' me, Iris Ann!" Francine had chided her right before she'd switched from standing in front of her to sitting on the couch next to them. "We should've never let you stay friends with him."

"Pardon?" Joe had reacted, amazed that something could still shock him that evening.

"Charz and Breana, Moira's sister? They told me that Iris was seeing Barry at the playground in fourth grade," Francine revealed sharply, her gaze softening when Iris looked at her in panic. "I know that you didn't want him to be sad, sunshine. His mother was sick and could've died. I know that you were just trying to help. Your father and I are so proud of you, sweetheart. You're a strong, intelligent and compassionate person. Beautiful in and out."

Yes, Joe couldn't be more proud. The acting career wasn't what Joe had expected from her—he thought that it was better than for her to go in law enforcement, for sure—but if she was as responsible about it as she currently was about her modeling career, he'd have nothing to complain about.

"But if there's even an infime chance that Barry or his parents have been preying on you—" the older West woman had brought up.

"Mom!" Iris had shouted at the same time as Joe had exclaimed "Francine!"

"I'll apologize to Barry if all of this is fabricated," the lawyer promised to her daughter then husband. "Just, please...Joe?"

Thirty minutes later, after getting a casserole dish in the oven, Joe had waited for one of the Allens to get home. Iris had begged him not to tell anything to Barry, who hadn't been home anyways, probably working because indeed the boy was getting _famous._

Not long afterwards, Nora Allen had been the one returning home first.

"Nora _Thompson!_ " Detective West had called out, and for the first time he'd seen fear in the white lady's eyes.

No way. _It was true._

Joe's memory of the beginning of his then longest interaction with Barry's mother was a bit blurry, because as soon as Nora Allen had confirmed that her forefathers had indeed owned slaves, the black man had started to think the worse of the Allen boy. He'd started to buy into the conspiracy theory that Iris' deranged fan had outlined, and after all he'd seen in his career as a cop...After helping his wife prosecute a _rapist and killer_ that very same day—

"We've stayed away from you people for over _a hundred and fifty years_ now!" Mrs. Allen had claimed defensively, then replied to the claim of them moving across the street from Joe's family with: "when we toured the house here, the real estate agent told us that the neighborhood was _homogeneous!_ We didn't see any of you around!"

Joe had been about to roll his eyes and drawl that real estate agents said anything to sell a house, but then he'd realized: they _were_ a homogeneous neighborhood, because most if not all households were upper-middle class. A real estate agent couldn't be faulted for categorizing people by financial fitness rather than race, that was part of their job.

"Why Central City?" The detective had questioned the...he hadn't even known what she did for a living. Henry Allen was a doctor, that he'd known.

"My husband and I met here," Nora Allen had readily answered. "At Jitters. No one makes coffee like them in our respective hometowns. We didn't want to live in Boston, and staying in Star City wasn't an option."

"Why not?" Joe had asked with a frown.

"For the same reason that you're verbally assaulting me now!" She'd claimed while being the one shouting. "Why can't you just leave us alone? My son's never bothered that girl...your daughter, since that children's fight at Carmichael!"

Well, at least Joe hadn't been the only one to be in the dark about Iris' continued friendship with Barry. Nora Allen had the excuse of being too sick to notice. He'd just been oblivious.

"They're working together _now,_ " he'd pointed out firmly.

"Your daughter probably followed him there!" The lady had the gall to accuse.

"Iris started working at City Youth at the beginning of high school!" Joe had objected.

"So did Barry!" She'd claimed. "It's only a twenty five minute walk and a ten minute bike ride from here. Barry doesn't like driving because he cares about the environment!"

That...that had been Iris' reason for working close by, too: lower gas emissions, though she'd emphasized the convenience of doing some cardio going to and coming to work.

"We approved of the work because it's a local-run business, as are most of the brands they work with," the cop remembered.

Mrs. Allen's eyes widening had told him all he'd needed to know, even after she'd mumbled "that's what it says on their brochure, of course."

"My son is an upstanding student!" The white lady had then informed him while stretching to her full height and lifting her chin. "He's won prizes at science fair competitions, and was part of the chess team. If he wants to use his good looks to support local businesses, it's his right! Can't that...can't your daughter do something else? She doesn't even fit the criteria of a model!"

Joe had almost started arguing with that racist woman, but after getting the confirmation that the Allens were innocent of Iris' fan's accusations, he'd begrudgingly wished Nora a good evening. A wish she'd returned haughtily before rushing into her home.

The Allens didn't want anything to do with Iris, clearly. The parents, at least.

What about _Barry?_

Iris had refused to tell Joe and Francine if working with Barry had rekindled their friendship. Joe had the fan's documents checked, and no fingerprints other than Iris and Francine had been found on the envelope and pages. The whole thing had left the detective uneasy, but his family had agreed to move on from that dark, terrible prank.

"Barry's going to college in Star City," Iris had announced out of the blue at the end of that summer.

"He told you that?" Joe had asked, surprised.

Not surprised that the two of them were talking, but that Barry Allen was leaving Central City. CCU was ranked above SCU, wasn't it? But he'd looked up the Thompsons a bit, and most of Nora Allen's immediate family were SCU alumni. Maybe Barry was just following a family tradition.

Detective West had done some research and had found out that the side of Thompson family Nora Allen was from had moved away from Alabama to Washington some time around the Civil War, while the other side had remained in the South. Joe had no trouble imagining that the side that hadn't moved had committed atrocities against free Black folks even after the Abolition, but the one that had relocated to Washington...They weren't many brothers and sisters to lynch, rape or murder up there in the first place. Furthermore, the laws had been more tightly reinforced in the Pacific Northwest even back in the day.

But Joe's suspicions had remained on Barry, somewhat. He'd wanted to trust Iris' judgement, but she _was_ a beautiful girl and the boy had had a big crush on her back in elementary school. The magazines pictures were useless to psychoanalyze the boy, his facial expressions were dictated by the photographers. Joe hadn't seen him in person in a long while. Boy was really busy. Really famous.

Much more so than Iris.

***

Joe had met Barry at the checkout area of a groceries store that was close to the station, quite a way from his own house.

It had been five years after the fan letter incident, coincidentally after Joe had put down a copy of 'Central City Bridal'. He'd felt someone in a hat move suspiciously on the next line when he'd huffed loudly at the cover.

The detective had watched, stunned, how the cashier had been none the wiser, ringing the groceries of a celebrity whose face was not only on multiple covers of local magazines displayed mere feet away, but on huge billboards downtown.

Joe had expected Barry Allen to rush out of the store and avoid him, but no: the boy had waited for him at the automatic exit doors.

"Hello sir, Detective West _,_ um hi. Do you need a hand?" He'd asked him politely after stuttering a bit.

A rising star, that boy? Boy because he'd still looked like a high schooler—so had Iris, but that was beside the point. How much makeup had they put on his face to make him look old enough to pass for a _perfect groom?_

Joe had wanted to scream at him, to tell him to stay the hell away from his daughter, to never work with her again, and why had he returned to Central City, huh? And didn't he have a long-term girlfriend? What did _she_ think about her lover marrying another woman?

Of course the whole thing had been fake, Joe had been very aware that it had just been a commercial. A commercial that had taken him and his wife by surprise during the break of a state college football game one weekend. Joe's heart had almost given out. Even Francine had panicked wildly and had called Iris on the spot.

 _"It was a last minute thing," t_ heir daughter had dared tell them casually. _"It was a favor to Linda and Mr. Sherloque. You know, the theater teacher at CC High?"_

The one who'd cast her as Belle and Barry Allen as the Beast in the school's 'Beauty and the Beast' play, when they were in senior year? The one who'd allowed those racist people's son to kiss his daughter? On the mouth, using his tongue?

Joe had thankfully not been able to attend the play, and neither had Francine, but they'd asked Linda about it. The aspiring filmmaker had been so enthusiastic about the school production that she'd given them all the details before realizing how the whole thing had sounded to her best friend's parents.

That had been nothing next to 'Gold Standard', though. Because of that commercial, the whole city thought that Iris was dating Barry. They'd been ignorant of the existence of Rebecca Cooper.

"I'm good, young man, thanks for offering," Joe had fought to say as courteously as possible in the public place, giving Barry a tight smile.

After all, Iris had been able to finish paying her student's loans and to buy her own condo before age twenty three thanks to him.

 _"Dad, mom, Barry's never exploited me, I'm the one who's always benefitted from working with him,"_ their daughter had told them on the phone during that sane call about the commercial. _"People are super professional when they know that he's on the set because they know that he's a social activist. The crew is usually diverse, and the few people who've spoken out of line to me, about me or about other people on the set...have been fired if caught by him. Not fired from working that day, fired_ from the company. _"_

 _"Oh,"_ Francine had reacted almost silently, exchanging a wide-eyed look with Joe.

Looked like the boy was on a mission to redeem his maternal family's karma.

 _"And I never turn down a gig with him because the pay is always good,"_ Iris had reminded them, then paused. _"Barry...I usually get paid the same as him."_

 _"What?"_ Joe and Francine had exclaimed in unison.

 _"But, he's more famous than you,"_ Joe had pointed out.

But he'd been the one observing that the neighbor's kid was disproportionately more famous than his daughter even though they'd clearly started their careers at the same time. He even suspected that they'd decided to do it together.

 _"I know, dad,"_ Iris had deadpanned.

 _"He's male, you're female,"_ Francine had pointed out. _"And you're black..."_

 _"I know, mom,"_ Iris had echoed her previous words.

 _"Sweetheart, his contract agreement cannot possibly allow for this,"_ his lawyer wife had argued. 

_Contract agreement with_ who? _"_ Iris had asked with a little laugh. _"Barry does whatever he wants. He left his agency after a scandal implicated a board member, and he boldly kept the same agent by raising his salary. He's a lone wolf, that's why he's been in so many productions already. He's got his own contract...and that contract stipulates that he and I get paid the same unless my paycheck is higher than his."_

 _"Higher?"_ Joe had repeated, shocked. _"You've been paid_ more _than him?"_

 _"Um, yeah, my modeling agency negotiated a nice deal with a few of the local magazines a few years ago,"_ Iris admitted. _"Barry doesn't have that, so he ended up getting him paid less than me for Gossip and Entertainment this year."_

 _"And he didn't mind?"_ Francine had asked.

 _"I'm sure that he would cancel the jobs if he did mind,"_ Iris had claimed.

As they continued watching the football game, Joe and Francine had quietly confessed to each other that, over the years, they'd slowly come to accept the status quo of the entertainment industry, no the status quo of the entire workforce, as normal. The one about gender disparity, at least. It had seemed like something that could never change because there was nothing even the most well-intentioned men could do about it. What if they lost their own privileges over being social justice warriors? Better have one side earn more and compensate for it in social settings, than have both side be poor. Francine and Joe had always agreed that men should pay for the restaurant bill on a date because chances were high that they earned more.

How had they lived their lives so complacently?

" _There are good point made for paying males higher than their females counterparts,_ " Joe had been brave enough to argue during another commercial break. _"We're physically stronger, so we inspire safety and confidence; we get sick less often; we take more risks, so we pioneer innovation. Oh, women take maternity leaves, therefore you're less productive. You can't argue with that. Nothing wrong with maternity leave it's necessary but from the company standpoint—"_

_"Bullshit," Francine had replied. "You know more than anyone that if women pass their own standard tests, that means that they can perform the work they're required to do; I inspire more confidence to my clients than my male counterparts, I don't know what you're talking about. Women are less likely to be abusive because of our lower physical strength, so both men and women feel safer around us. You know, maybe we women would get sick less often if we were surrounded by fewer sickening pigs who harass us everywhere we go...No, Joe, the strength of someone's immune system isn't based on their gender. And maternity leaves makes us less productive? Wow, so the next generation that contributes to society, where does it come from? Did your more productive ass manifest out of thin air? Yes, Joseph, I know that your father raised you too, but during those invaluable nine months, was he eating, sleeping, and breathing right for you? Did he push and bleed for you? Less productive...there's no workers without us! Women who are mothers should get paid double, but all we ask is for the same pay for everyone. Oh please, your sperm isn't even needed. Cloning humans is illegal only because you men are scared of becoming irrelevant. You're okay with an entire woman being made out of a man's rib, but making a woman entirely out of another woman's is 'playing God'. Is giving birth playing God then? What about capital punishment, deciding which criminal gets to live or die? I know, I know that we're not perfect, but that's the point right? We're not God, we're made in the image of God. So 'playing God' shouldn't be a bad thing, it should be the standard. I mean, God made the initial mistake of putting man in charge alone, but God corrected that mistake real quick. We should do the same: correct our mistakes as soon as we recognize them. Oh, and before I forget: we women take less risks in a professional setting because we don't actually get praised for it as you men do. Instead of being seen as innovative and revolutionary, we get painted as aggressive, selfish, narcissistic. The double-standard isn't a secret so please spare me. Eyes forward, Detective West, the game's back on."_

So, yeah, Joe had made sure that his interaction with Barry Allen at the store had been cordial. He hadn't felt indebted to the boy, but...he'd appreciated him looking out for his baby girl. And he'd appreciated Barry's unconventional actions opening his eyes to a problem he'd stopped seeing as a problem.

Joe and Francine had always known that their child was meant for greatness, but they'd also known that society would try to cut her down, try to prevent her from achieving her full potential...because she was female, and because she was black.

Therefore, they'd be hypocrites if they didn't respect Barry Allen for helping the world see Iris' greatness, for letting her shine bright when she was by his side.

He wasn't her white shadow: he was the other traveler on the road to success, bringing his own light, chasing the darkness off the path. Just like Linda, and just like all the talented men and women of the entertainment industry who didn't do it for the money and the fame. They all helped make the road brighter, more visible to those looking for it, or for those coming after them. 

_'Pastor Land said the more the merrier!'_ Iris had figured it out a long time ago.

So what if Barry Allen was more famous? He'd said it himself: actors like he and Iris were messengers. His deeper, choir boy's voice simply reached more people stuck in crevices and hollow places off the road. It reached unfulfilled, ignorant, or plain miserable people who weren't even aware that the road existed. Those guys couldn't hear Iris' voice, but they were able to hear Barry say: 'there's more out here, come and see'.

(Plus, Joe had only resented Barry Allen's omnipresence in Iris's life because the boy was being dishonest dating that poor, ah, actually rich, Becky Cooper woman. Just like Iris had been dating that good for nothing Tony Woodward. Silly children, both of them. At least both Cooper and Woodward had been out of the picture by the time the 'Best Actor' of the year had given the most brazen speech in the history of award ceremonies, at the Midway Academy Awards.)

***

"Sue?" Francine repeats Henry Allen's word, sounding fully awake and alert already.

Good, because Joe is still half-asleep. He's still processing the fact that Nora Allen is crying.

Who asks for help to start a lawsuit at three AM from the neighbors they haven't talked to in what? _Eight years?_

"Who would you like to sue?" D.A. West inquires neutrally.

"Coast City General Hospital," the doctor ironically answers. "Because of their negligence...Barry...our son's going to _die._ "

"My God," Joe reacts loudly, fully awake now, while Francine stares at the other married couple.

"Mr. and Mrs. Allen, _how?_ " She asks, and her professionalism seems to snap Nora out of her mournful stupor.

She thrusts her unlocked cellphone into Joe’s chest, and he quickly grabs it and taps on the video preview linked to a tweet titled ‘Cost City Mass shooting, update'.

 _Mass shooting._ Jesus.

The speaker’s face is unfamiliar, but he’s clearly been through a rough time. He has a faint bloody streak on his left cheek.

"Hi guys, thank you all for your kind words. Please, if you can, donate to the Allen Space Ship foundation or the Go Fund Mes that were just started to assist the victims of this tragedy, all links are above or below this video. Barry’s stable, he’s lost some blood but he’s not in a critical condition. He’ll be under observation for the next four hours, right now he’s asleep. He’ll probably send a message in the morning when he wakes up before me, haha. In that case, he’ll be the one to let you know how much you guys raised. Please, don’t let Coast City down, your contribution, however small, is important. For those who cannot support financially, remember that your shares have power guys. Use your privilege to empower others, that’s what Barry always says. Please share the videos released by the Coast City’s Police. The shooter’s still on the run, help the police catch him and bring him to justice. Hotline numbers are listed on this post. Thank you guys, thank you so much. Please keep everyone in your thoughts and prayers, and let’s hope for Barry’s swift recovery. Bless."

Joe’s about to point out that Barry’s fine when he sees that the video was posted _three hours ago._

"What happened?" Francine inquires after Joe places his thumb next to the timestamp to let her know.

"They didn’t check for internal bleeding," Dr. Allen explains, sounding abnormally neutral. "While this video was being watched, Barry was already suffering from minor hemorrhagic shock. We eventually got a call, but from..."

"But if it’s minor, shouldn't he be fine?" Francine prompts the doctor to elaborate.

"They stopped the bleeding, but Barry lost a lot of blood and..." Dr. Allen starts, pauses to wipe the silent tears that are free falling down his cheeks, while Nora throws herself into his chest, her sobbing muffled by his shirt. "Because of the shooting the hospital ran out of universal blood type quickly, and Barry’s blood type is rare, AB-negative."

AB-negative. Less than one percent of Americans have it. It _is_ rare.

"Because Barry was considered stable and put in the observation unit, the more common compatible blood types went to the perfect matches of the other victims of the shooting, who were in more serious conditions than him when they got admitted. By the time he went critical, there was just AB-negative blood left as an option. But...there was someone else who's AB-negative, in the intensive care unit. Someone else who was approved for surgery _after_ Barry, but who got his transfusion paperwork done _before_ Barry’s medical team could do his, so..."

"God, no..." Joe whispers, reaching out for Francine’s hand, and then squeeze their palms together.

What if Henry and Nora had been notified earlier...? No, even then nothing could've been done. It's a four hour flight to Coast City, they couldn't have arrived on time. But Barry's got family on the West Coast, wealthy family that probably have private jets! One of them had to be compatible. Someone is so going to lose their medical license over this, that's for sure.

"Shouldn’t the hospital administrators have allowed Barry to get the blood first?" Francine questions. "Is the other person in a critical condition too?"

"Yes, that’s..." Dr. Allen is struggling too, and it’s hard to watch, just as it’s hard to listen to Barry’s mother uninterrupted cry. "The other patient was only waiting for surgery because he didn’t have insurance at the time.”

”I’ll contact a colleague of mine," Francine announces confidently. "The lawsuit will be straightforward, I promise you."

"No it won’t!" Nora screams hysterically as she faces Joe and Francine with her skin drenched in tears, her eyes bloodshot. "We didn't get a call sooner because...because...we wouldn't have known _anything_ until the morning if not for a friend of my cousin's who saw Barry's name in the system—he's a nurse at Coastal City General Hospital. He's the one who called us. Via his cellphone!"

Huh?

"Whatever the communication policy," Francine directed the conversation back to the matter of the lawsuit. "Barry should've been checked for internal bleeding, _and_ he should've been given the blood first. The other patient didn't have health insurance. The hospital should've followed standard procedure, simple as that."

"The other patient is a child," Dr. Allen blurts out. "Mexican? Texan? I don't know. Last name Alvarez. Eight years old."

Joe is surprised that the man knows that there are Latinos who identify as Texans, but now he's starting to see why the Allens are so upset.

"And according to a fanpage," Henry adds, his voice shaking. "It was a Go Fund Me that Barry started for the young Alvarez that paid for his health insurance right on time for his surgery. I think...we think that Barry was in that part of town to visit the child in the first place."

"It's _that child's_ fault!" Nora accuses, managing to make the term 'child' sound like an insult. "He _killed_ our son, took away his right to live!"

Joe and Francine freeze.

God forgive Joe’s language and blasphemy, but what hellish kind of divine punishment is this? Racists losing their civil rights activist son because a person of color was controversially given priority over him?

Barry's reputation would've never recovered if he'd gotten treated ahead of a Latino kid, that was for sure. But at least he would've been alive to carry the sorrowful and shameful burden. He probably would've given all his money to provide health insurance to as many latinas families as he could've.

About the Allens not getting called until an acquaintance saw Barry's name...both Francine and Joe have suspected that Barry isn't in speaking terms with his parents for a while: he hadn't said their names or refer to them in any of the promo interviews for 'On The Mend', nor in his thank you speeches for movie and show awards. 

But for them not to receive a call in case of a medical emergency? Barry has totally _disowned_ them.

That meant that the Allen parents and son had probably had a terrible exchange the last time they'd spoken. And now they won't ever have a chance to make up.

What a terrible way to lose a child.

"When...has the nurse called you back yet?" Francine asks, still holding up, while Joe's throat is burning.

Iris will be _devastated_. Joe knows, _everybody_ knows that these two love each other. Loved. Maybe as just best friends from childhood, but Joe would bet that Iris is in love with...And she's fast asleep in Metropolis, on one side of the country while Barry is on the other. _Was._

If only...if only they'd had time on their side.

"I don't expect Craig to call us so soon," Dr. Allen guessed. "He's extremely busy, but he's confident that the hospital will call us to announce Barry's...eventually. It's standard procedure, it's just that the staff is busy and the surgeons there are probably going from one operation room to the next in five minutes. But Craig promised to let us know about the outcome of the child's surgery."

That kid better make it, or everything would've been for not—

"Jesus!" Joe exclaims as Nora's phone vibrates in his hand. He forgot he still had it.

"Here, it's..." he tells the Allens but freezes.

Nora and Henry shrink away from him, hugging each other, dreading the terrible yet inevitable news. But that's not why the cop paused.

"Joe?" His wife calls out, nudging him via their linked hands.

"That's Iris' cell phone number," he announces, staring at the unsaved number. The Central City area code caught his eyes.

He hears the frustration in Henry's sigh and the exhausted anger in Nora's groan.

"I think it's better if I," Joe volunteers, mildly hesitant as he raises the phone to his face.

"Please, yes," Henry allows before he and his wife retreat in a bubble that cannot possibly shield them from their grief.

"Iris, it's me," Joe identifies himself as soon as he picks up the call.

"Dad? Wh-what? What are you doing with Nora's phone?" Iris questions, and Nora in question glares at her own phone, probably outraged at Iris' casual tone.

Well, Iris is about to be nearly as miserable as her in a moment. Oh, God, he can't break his baby girl's heart like this...

Francine feels his hesitation and gently reaches around to take the phone. She quickly glances at Nora, then makes the executive decision to put Iris on speaker. That way they'd all hear the proof of her affection for Barry.

"Iris," Francine says, and Iris goes silent instead of greeting back, because her mother only calls her by her name when she's in a very serious mood. Otherwise she calls her pride and joy by names of endearment.

 _Their_ pride and joy. Joe dreads his daughter's long term reaction to Barry Allen's death. Forget that her career is basically based on her partnership with him. They were _childhood friends._ They clearly were each other's emotional support, necessary to stay sane in their world of glamorous fakeness and famed hypocrisy. Barry showed such deep respect for Iris, such affection...How was she going to cope from the stress of her career without it? Yes, she has her family and Linda, and her fans are great, except those crazy conspiracy theorists who keep growing in number. Oh God, let them stay quiet about Barry's passing, _please_...

"Mom, what's wrong?" Iris asks so innocently. "You're both awake? With the _Allens?_ What's going on?"

"We saw the video on Twitter, sweetheart," Francine lets her know, her voice finally wavering, and Joe feels her hand shaking in his. "About the shooting, and Barry..."

"Oh! Mom, he's fine now!" Iris claims, probably referring to that update video. "You went to see his parents? That's...am I on speaker? Nora?"

"Don't call me that!" The grieving mother barks back. "Who gave you permission to..." she almost faints, making everyone gasp and Henry call her name.

"Hen...Dr. Allen! Dad, mom! Is she okay?" Iris asks, and Joe wants to scold her for being oblivious, but no ones has told her yet. It's not her fault.

Joe remembers wondering if this was a dream fifteen minutes ago? How can so many lives change in fifteen minutes? Now it definitely feels like a nightmare.

"I'm sorry for calling in the middle of the night," Iris' tone finally turns more appropriate, though sounding apologetic isn't enough. "I called you as soon as I stopped feeling dizzy..."

Joe almost cruelly tells his daughter girl to hold onto something because she's going to get more than dizzy...

"Please, hang up," Henry says with a voice barely above a whisper.

"I can't visit Barry yet, but he's been stable for almost an hour now," Iris keeps speaking since she didn't hear Mr. Allen. "They confirmed that he doesn't have any other internal bleeding. Of course they'll keep him under observation, and this time they're triple checking all the tests. Hey mom, can we sue them for negligence? I'm so relieved that he's fine now, but he looked so pale when I came in...hello?"

Silence greets her back, because none of what she just said makes sense to the four parents. They exchange thoroughly confused gazes between themselves.

"Hello?" Iris repeats, then mumbles: "Hello? Don't tell me that vending machines interfere with phone signal, ugh. Maybe this way..."

"What do you mean Barry looked pale when you came in?" Henry Allen questions, his wide eyes unblinking.

Nora's blinking a lot in contrast, and she's still gaping at her phone in Francine's hand, so it almost looks like she's having a seizure. 

"Dr. Allen, hi!" Iris says with normal volume again, and Joe can hear her reeling in her...guilt? "He looks better now, don't worry. I'm so sorry, I should've called you earlier, I was so panicked..."

"Barry's alive?" Both Joe and Nora exclaim, and Henry waves a dismissive hand at them because what else can Iris' words mean?

"What about the boy?" The doctor asks.

Right. While Joe and Francine are only confused about Iris' being in Coast City, Barry's parents are also confused about the fact that Barry got treated. Joe can see that they're struggling to be happy.

Oh, so they care about the brown boy now? Or do they dread Barry's reaction if things go wrong?

"Chris is still in surgery, but his surgeon was very confident that it will go well!" Iris answers cheerfully. "What was really needed was the health insurance. He couldn't have waited much longer, but the procedure is fairly routine at the Coast City Hospital. Chris' parents invested all of their savings to get him here because it was their only chance—"

"But the blood?" Henry interrupts her. "Did they get more? When?"

"Oh!" Iris reacts, her tone going from perky to neutral in the same syllable, almost musical. "Well, um. Anonymous donation?"

"Sunshine, don't be ridiculous," Francine chides her daughter as she stares at Nora, who frowns defensively. "You've saved their only child's life, I doubt that they'd resent you for giving him your blood."

Nora looks about to challenge her statement, but her husband speaks up first.

"You're a universal blood donor?" he questioned his son's colleague and friend.

"The opposite, in a way," Iris corrects him, her tone cautious. "I'm AB-negative, just like Barry."

"That's impossible!" Nora objects right away, and her doctor husband has to tighten his hold around her to prevent her from launching herself at the cellphone. "You're _lying!_ "

Christ Jesus. What level of mental gymnastics do these people have to perform in order to validate their erroneous beliefs? She was okay with the latino boy having the same blood type as her son, but not Iris?

"Barry himself told me that I was more likely to be born with that blood type than him," Iris recounts confidently. "The AB blood type is common for a select few African groups, but it's more frequently found in Asians—"

"That's enough, young lady," Dr. Allen cuts her off, though he doesn't sound near as outraged as his wife.

Well, he's a doctor. He must have known all along. Maybe he's the one who passed the rare blood type to Barry, because the Thompsons sure don't seem like they would mingle with other 'people'.

"Hey guys, I see Chris' parents," Iris announces, and the four parents on this side of the phone call scowl at being addressed as 'guys'. "I'll talk to them in a bit, see how they're holding up."

"You do that sweetheart," Francine encourages with a nod Iris can't see. "I'll see about that lawsuit."

"I know that the staff has been busy all night, but," Iris states somberly despite rushing her words as she moves around. "I think Barry was neglected because he's famous. We all know that some celebrities abuse their powers to get better treatment, but that's no reason to punish other celebrities for it, especially in the context of an emergency. This hospital should be better than this..."

Joe frowns as the other end of the line goes completely quiet, then his chest tightens up when he hears a quiet and distant sniff.

Iris has covered her phone mic to have a moment.

The cop eyes his neighbors after he returns Francine's hand squeeze.

"Barry _deserved_ better than this," Iris resumes with a slightly watery voice. "What if I hadn't..."

Detective West's mind splits in three: one part wonders exactly why Iris is in Coast City right now; the second sympathizes with his daughter emotions; the final one analyzes his neighbors' reactions to his baby girl's words and tone.

Joe watches as slowly, gradually, shock and distress turn into empathy and gratefulness in Henry Allen's eyes. Disbelief is still the primary emotion on Nora Allen's face, but there's a bit of guilt there too.

The cop doesn't even know why he's surprised that Iris might very well cure the neighbors of their racism. Or that she's just saved someone's life without being a doctor, cop or firefighter.

He should make peace with the fact that his daughter will never run out of reasons to make him proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> I'll be honest, a few lines from the letter comes from my rant about white male celebrities benefitting from their association with black female celebrities. I wrote a detailed and very long comment about on the last chapter if you're interested to know my thoughts and share yours. Just to let you know that yes, there's truth in what was said. No need to terrorize people over it though, we can always talk it out. And I'm writing Barry to show that things can be different. If like Joe you think that Iris' career is too dependent on Barry, don't worry.


	9. Looking At My Years Like A Martyrdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything she's done, she's done it for her son, but that girl ruined everything!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!
> 
> I numbered the flashbacks because this chapter is so long, sorry for the wait. I dumped a lot here because I don't want to linger on too many of the events already discussed in previous chapters when I get to Barry and Iris' POV.
> 
>  **BIG WARNING** : the very offensive term "oriental girl/children" will appear in this chapter. People still use this ignorant/outdated terminology nowadays, it's not necessarily intended to offend but...gotta educate the grandparents asap my friends. Some people are NOT ageists, they give hands to all age groups.
> 
> Minor warning for Nora using neutral terms in an offensive manner to undermine Iris. 
> 
> Also warning for mental health issues, no offense meant!
> 
> By the way, I changed the title of the chapter. I doubt that you care 🤣 but I thought that this fit better.

She'd thought that they would find peace in Central City: a city of fourteen million people where people were known to be nosy but also known to keep their distances when asked.

They couldn't have stayed in Star City, where being a Thompson had become a curse ever since a very bitter employee whose plan to sue the family's business had failed, so he had decided to dig deep for 'dirt'. 

The scandal had happened when Nora was in third year of college, and it was a blessing that her parents were on the board of trustees or she might have unjustly been kicked out of the orchestra. Overall, she'd lost the friendship of almost all that she would have supported had the roles been reverse. Worse, she had been shunned by her boyfriend, who'd dated a...an African American female next, just to prove to the rest of the university that he hadn't been 'tainted' by dating Nora. His words.

Therefore, after their wedding, Nora and Henry had decided to live in Boston, even though they wouldn't have any family to support them emotionally.

All had been well until Henry's reputation as one of the best general surgeons and as a respected university professor had been completely ruined because he had been vocal in his support of his best friend from college, Clifford DeVoe, who'd been his best man at their wedding. Loyalty was a crime nowadays!

Clifford had been unjustly charged of a hate crime just because he'd let his emotions get the better of him, justifiably so. He'd been involved in a car accident that had lightly injured an oriental* college student on a bike. The student had only needed crutches for a few weeks, whereas Clifford had been permanently paralyzed from the waist-down. And that student had had the audacity to visit him a few months later, her who'd _ruined his life!_ Clifford had been weak and depressed since the accident, and the sight of that girl had agitated him. He had thrown a flower vase at her, and a few picture frames, possibly pebbles from the driveway...but she'd barely received _a scratch_ from it. Yet she'd made allegations that Clifford had followed her down the street on his electric wheelchair while calling her names 'out of hate'. No, it had been out of distress and anxiety! Those people always liked to play the victims, even when they were clearly the aggressors!

Thankfully, the jury had been fair and understanding and Henry's friend hadn't been convicted for any of the charges. And just because Henry had told the hysterical oriental girl to stay away from his friend when she had tried to talk to him after the trial, a moment that had been caught on camera, he'd been labeled as a racist. For supporting his friend. Madness.

Henry and Nora had needed a fresh start, since the stress they'd experienced as real victims of hate was getting too stressful for her, who'd been pregnant with a beautiful boy she couldn't wait to love and cherish. As a physician and a pianist they could find work anywhere.

They'd opted to start over in the city where they'd met: Central City. It was known for its 'diversity', but they'd asked the real estate agent to find them a good and safe neighborhood, where she could raise her innocent little boy away from all those miserable people who'd wrecked her family's life for generations.

The real estate agent had quickly found them a house in a neighborhood she'd guaranteed was homogeneous. And it _was_ the ideal house: two stories and a basement, a front and a back yard, a driveway going through the garage, which opened on both sides...and the ceiling high windows in what could only be the piano room.

All of the neighbors' lawns were mowed and the hedges were perfectly trimmed, the asphalt of the road was smooth, and there was a large playground two blocks away. The perfect place for Nora and her little Bartholomew to spend quality time.

Truly, life would've been so perfect, if not for _her._

Nora had known that she would come a few months after the world would welcome her precious son, although she had half-expected the lawyer to miscarry or terminate her pregnancy. Henry had assured her that women like her had abysmal pregnancy statistics because they were so irresponsible, with _their own children_! They were a different kind of people, after all. She'd only wished for her boy to grow up strictly with children like himself, children whose parents were good people, not like that self-hating sheep Moira O'Connell. At least her sister was a descent person, a bit silly for greeting everyone on the block, but decent all the same. 

Nora had known when the cop and lawyer's child had come to the world, because it had seemed that every single person in Central City had come to congratulate them, whereas only one of Nora's former colleagues in the Star City Symphony Orchestra had visited her, Henry and Barry. That was normal: Nora had agreed with her mother that them visiting Central City might draw unwanted attention to Barry, so she and Henry had contented themselves with the flowers and gift baskets, and the promise to start visiting her family again when Barry was a few years older.

Deep down, Nora couldn't deny the sliver of envy she'd experienced seeing the cop and lawyer's respective families visit, then all the neighbors from the block and the next, then the police, and even people who must have been the lawyers' colleagues—respectable-looking people, but who clearly didn't know how to choose their acquaintances.

They all would stop by the neighbors' house and stay at least a few hours before leaving. Word on the block had been that even the mayor of Central City had visited.

All those people to see just one girl! She was no one special, yet they all treated her like...royalty.

_"The Wests are good people, very kind and helpful,"_ Margot, Barry's babysitter, had rambled some day when Nora and Henry had lingered around five-month-old Barry the first time that they'd gone on a proper date since their beloved son's birth. _"Everyone feels safe here because we have them around. The Wests and Moira O'Connell are definitely the pillars of our community. If you ever need help, you can knock on the door of either residence. Ms. O'Connell is a bit judgmental, but Joe and Francine? Never! They help, no questions asked, or at least they only ask questions to ascertain how they can help. It must be because they've seen it all in their lines of work, you know? If they can't help you directly, they know someone who will. I know that you're still getting used to the area, Mr. and Mrs. Allen, but truly, don't hesitate to talk to them. You're so lucky to live right across from them! The running joke on the block is that this house got more expensive with every good deed accomplished by Mr. or Mrs. West, that's why no one could afford it, hahaha..."_

Margot had been a viper, but twenty-five years later, on the darkest hour of the night and of their lives, Henry reminded Nora of that piece of advice.

After arguing about it for twenty minutes, they went outside and crossed the smooth asphalt to reach the neighbors door. Nora broke down halfway there.

Her son. Her only son...dead. He was barely twenty-six years old! And it had taken so long for Nora to agree to talk to the cop and the lawyer because, while they were pillars of the community, _their daughter_ was the most evil soul in the world.

Soul, not human, because that girl wasn't human.

She'd hunted and seduced Barry before trapping him in an emotional cage. She'd taken advantage of his misguided desire to be accepted by _everyone_ to control him and to isolate him from his family. Her evil schemes had been executed over the span of two decades, a pace so cunningly slow that Nora had been unprepared to adequately protect her son. Her runaway boy who would never come back home, because he was lost to her forever.

All of it was _that girl's_ fault.

And Nora's.

She'd let that girl do it. She'd given her the indirect and uninformed permission to invade Barry's head and heart and body...to take away his _freedom._

Nora had been an active enabler, but she'd tried to protect her son. She truly had. But that wicked soul had waited for the right moment to make her most impactful move.

* * *

* * *

1.

Even when they left the house from the back entrance, she'd be everywhere Nora or Henry looked. They would go for a stroll or visit the playground with a two-year-old Barry, and more often than not they would cross paths with that girl, who was always so _wild_ : running and twirling and screaming, being so loud! And neither her parents nor her babysitters would reign her in. So of course Barry would notice her and try to reach out or follow her. At least back then he was easy to carry and be kept away from those people.

When Barry was four years old, Nora took him to the Jazz Festival held fifteen minutes away from their home. Nora was walking them towards a pianist's solo when her beautiful boy suddenly started pulling in the opposite direction. After a moment of confusion, she heard the smooth and elegant sound of a saxophone. Barry wanted to watch its player, stationed in the middle of the blocked street, partly hidden by a semi-circle of spectators. Nora was glad to introduce Barry to that unfamiliar instrument, which wasn't used in classical music. Novelty was good for a child's development.

But when her son dragged her to the back of the crowd rather than in front of the saxophonist, she saw _her:_ on top of her father's shoulders, looking at the musician below with a focus uncharacteristic of one so young...but of course she had to be abnormal! She was mentally disabled, wasn't she? That was probably why so many people had visited her parents at her birth, to show sympathy. Now it made sense...

As soon as the speculation crossed Nora's mind, Barry started to make a fuss because they weren't moving anymore, and the girl turned her gaze on them. Nora quickly pulled her son away from that unsettling, wide-eyed curious gaze alternating between them and the saxophonist, as if the girl couldn't decide who deserved her attention the most. Thank goodness her cop father was too focused on the musical performance to notice anything. Nora was forced to half-drag half-lift Barry under his arms in order to get him to the front of the crowd. However, she had to step away from the crowd because her lovely son started embarrassing her by complaining too loudly that he wanted to watch from the back, that he wanted to watch from "up-up mom, I want to go up! Like her!"

 _Two more years,_ Nora thought when she distracted Barry with candy at a stand nearby. _In two years he'll go to school and make so many friends that he'll never notice this girl ever again._

* * *

2.

"Mom, I met Iris!" Barry announced happily when Nora picked him up from his first day at Carmichael's Elementary School. "Oh, I meant, I met our _neighbor_ , and her name is Iris!"

"Which neighbor?" Nora had asked absentmindedly as she fastened his seat belt, ignoring his mumble that he was a big boy now and could do it himself. When she closed the door, a little blonde girl passed them by, waving goodbye at Barry across the car window. He waved back timidly, blinking at her.

Nora smiled widely while at the cutie, trying to place her vaguely familiar face. Then she watched Barry's new friend climb into a Mercedes, and oh! She was the Bowin's daughters! But they didn't live on their block, why did Barry refer to her as 'neighbor'...

Ah, the Bowin _were_ their neighbors almost every time they went to a concert at the orchestra hall, seated either on the same row or directly in front of them. Barry was so smart! He already had such a good grasp of the nuanced meanings of the word 'neighbor'. And he had such good memory. It was better than Nora's, who realized that she'd remembered the girl's name wrong. She could've sworn that her name was 'Izzy'? But 'Iris' was a prettier name for sure, and much less common than 'Izzy'. Much more distinguished too, and the Bowins were a respectable family.

"Did you know that Iris is the name of a flower, Barry?" Nora informed her son as she carefully and slowly pulled away from the curb, mindful of the boisterous children around. She chose to ignore the presence of two oriental children who also waved at Barry, though her son graced them with another timid wave.

"Isn't that pretty, hmm, a flower name?" Nora drew her son's attention back to the topic of the Bowin girl's name when Barry started looking around for other kids to say goodbye to.

"Yes, mom, I agree it's a pretty name" he replied with a little giggle, and aww, was he blushing?

To her surprise, Barry added: "but that's not where the name 'Iris' comes from! Remember the docu-mentary? The one about Gree-k mis...mis...?"

He was trying to say 'mythology'. Nora wanted to tell him the word, but he didn't like it when she gave him the right answers too quickly.

"The fake history of the funny gods and goddess...es? From Gree-ce. But people believed it was true before. Yeah," he intelligently gave the definition of mythology instead, nodding confidently at his explanation before resuming enthusiastically. "Yeah! Iris is the Gree-k goddess of the rainbow and a messenger between the gods and humans! And, and...the flower is called 'iris' like her because there are many types, and they come in all the colors of the rainbow! Like the color part our eyes, the iris! It's not like the pupil, the pupil is always black, but the iris comes in all colors of the rainbow too! There's a word for things that shine in many colors, what is it...you know, like the wings of the dragonfly! That word comes from the name Iris. But I cannot remember what the mister, um...narrator! I don't remember what the narrator of the docu-mentary said the ad-jec-tive was. But the name comes from the Gree-k. Many English words come from Gree-k, and Roman—no, Latin!"

Nora wanted to cry tears of joy.

Her son wasn't smart, he was _brilliant!_ She and Henry had been worried about his higher affinity for watching TV and reading books rather than going outside to play, but it wasn't such a bad thing after all. He was so articulate that he surprised strangers in the street, mostly because they believed him to be younger since he was a bit shorter than most children his age. But he had time to grow taller, and he would definitely grow to be an eloquent speaker, an inspirational man. Nora just knew it. Her son was meant for greatness.

"The adjective is 'iridescent', my beautiful boy," she couldn't help telling him this time, and they spent the rest of the ride home practicing that word's pronunciation.

The next week, Barry begged her and Henry to have Margot take him to the playground, as if that hadn't always been an option.

"Iris said that she goes there sometimes!" He'd informed them excitedly. "We can play together longer!"

Nora had beamed with pride. Six years old, and her beautiful boy already had great tastes in friends. It had been too bad that he'd had no inclination to play a musical instrument, but his enthusiasm for choir practice had apparently been renewed because Iris Bowin had asked him if he was named after the singer.# No, it was just a happy coincidence!

* * *

3.

Nora dragged her son away from the playground with the intention to take him to his dad. She couldn't trust anybody else with her son. Even when she took him to the pediatrician she asked for Henry's presence, or his opinion if he wasn't available. She knew that child care wasn't his specialty, but he'd read a lot of books and had taken a few courses online during her pregnancy.

Of all the students gathered around, it was that cop's daughter who jogged after them, and she dared address her directly by "Mrs. Allen!" 

Nora knew that the school had ridiculous policies that didn't sit right with her, but the school was the best in the city—thanks to children like her amazing son. So she did her best to ignore that girl as she babbled about, and Barry stopped sobbing to tell her that he was okay, and that she was so cool.

Her son thought that violence was _cool?_ What were they teaching him here?

That girl kept talking and talking, and Nora remained quiet because people were watching, but then that girl touched her baby boy, and _that_ , Nora couldn't accept. She stopped abruptly and stared the girl down, trying her best to convey the message:

_Stay away from my son!_

Surprisingly, the girl learned her place right away. It seemed that her parents had taught her well.

Nora's body resumed moving even as her mind whirled with the knowledge that the girl had been there all along, in the same school as her son!

"Iris! Mom, wait," Barry requested, and Nora almost tripped.

What?

"We're going to see your father at the hospital, sweetheart," she forced herself to say, keeping her gaze forward.

"I want to say goodbye! Mo-om!" Barry whined, but Nora couldn't stop, she couldn't...

That one was also named Iris? How...was it a more common name here in Central City?

"Mom, my arm!" Barry cried, and she gasped in horror.

The arm he'd broken last year! It had fully healed, but Barry would have a scar forever.

Nora gasped as Barry rubbed his arm, now free.

Speaking of his arm...

"Sweetheart," she called out softly, smoothing out his disheveled hair. "Last year, at the playground...which Iris was with you before the ambulance arrived? You know, the one that the EMT lady said was very brave? It was the Bowin girl, right?"

"Bowin?" Barry repeated absentmindedly as he looked over his shoulder, displacing Nora's hand on his head.

There were many children looking at them, and Nora managed to project a calmness that she didn't feel until saw those two oriental kids again, whispering to each other. She glared at them when they looked in Barry's direction, and the taller boy dragged the girl away.

Good.

"Iris Bowin!" She specified to her son as she walked towards her car, pleased to hear Barry trail after her. "The pretty neighbor?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, frustration clear in his voice before he exclaimed. "Oh! At the concert hall, we're always sitting next to the Bowins. Yeah, I guess we're neighbors. Sorry mom, you're right...but that's _Izzy._ Izzy Bowin. There's only one Iris, Iris West. The neighbor from across the—"

"No!" Nora shouted, making Barry startle and bump into the side of the car that they'd just reached.

He winced and gingerly touched a bruise on his upper arm, his lips trembling as his eyes filled up with tears.

"Oh, my beautiful boy, I'm so sorry!" She apologized, ashamed by her outburst.

She hovered next to him, not daring to touch him by fear of causing more damage. She couldn't believe that this was happening to her son! Bullying? By a much bigger boy! That Tony Woodward had to be suspended! His parents should visit Nora and Henry to apologize! And maybe the two boys could learn to be friends?

The teachers had explained that it was Barry who'd pushed that violent boy first after all, and they thought that it was because of—

"It's her fault, Barry, isn't it?" She asked rhetorically, struggling to keep her outrage out of her voice. "That...that girl made you start the fight, and now look at you!"

"No, it's not Iris' fault!" He denied.

Of course he would, he had such a good heart, but that's exactly why he'd been targeted by that little...

"You will _never_ play with that girl again," she instructed her son as she opened the door to back seat for him. "Come on, let's go see you father."

"What? Why?" He asked, confused. "Iris and I always have fun! I told you, last time, and you said—"

She'd thought that he was talking about the Bowins' daughter! Good God, _all this time..._

"Bartholomew Henry Allen, get in the car!" She ordered him sternly, keeping her face stern even as hurt brightened his eyes.

She and Henry had raised him right, so he obeyed, and within a few minutes they were off to see his dad.

Henry actually admitted to having doubts about the identity of 'Iris', so he was glad that Nora had figured out the misunderstanding.

"No wonder he's always so dirty when he comes back from the playground," Nora's husband whispered as the pediatrician asked several questions to Barry while gently poking at his battered body. "And his arm...I bet that she's the one who pushed him."

"How could Margot let that happen?" Nora questioned, shocked and...fearful.

Their child's babysitter had been lying to them about Barry's friends! How many of those...how many _good friends_ did he actually have? It's a good thing that they'd fired her!

"We should have parted ways with her the moment she started raving about those people," Henry lamented before he and Nora winced at the way Barry yelped when the pediatrician massaged something on his skin, an anti-inflammatory ointment, right?

Her poor baby!

"Can we sue?" Nora wondered only loud enough for her husband's ears. "That girl has caused so much harm to our Barry already! His arm last year, and now this?"

"It was the other boy who hit him," Henry reminded her. "And we have no proof that Barry's...classmate pushed him. Also, Margot told us that those people are admired by the community. Moira O'Connell is on their side. We can't be the one disturbing the peace, Nora. Not here."

"They hurt our son!" She talked back, outrage by his detached commentary. 

Her husband sighed as he started rubbing her back, but while that had done a wonderful job calming her nerves during her pregnancy, it couldn't appeased her now.

"He's a child, Nora, children get hurt all the time," he told her wisely, though it was clear that he was upset too. "Barry's been more careful on the playground since last year, right? Breana said so. I'm sure that he will be even more careful now. The teachers will be on the lookout for him, _no one_ will bully him without us knowing. I'll call the school to make that clear."

"Talk to Barry, please, Henry," Nora pleaded quietly. "Tell him to stay away from that girl...please, he listens to you more."

"Of course, don't worry," he assured her with a confident smile that he then directed at Barry when the latter looked at them both with unshed tears of pain in his eyes.

Nora gave him a watery smile, doing her best not to look saddened by his condition. Henry was right, his arm bone had healed easily, so these bruises would go away very soon. Barry just had to stay put, and of course those turbulent kids at school had to stay away from him, starting with _that girl!_

Hearing her son defend that little miscreant on the ride back home was utterly uncomfortable now that she knew that she'd misunderstood his friend's identity. Oh no, oh no, that meant...

They'd been playing games _just the two of them?_ He'd taught her Morse and she had started teaching him Russian?They'd celebrated her birthday at summer camp!!!

Nora's rage at being deceived by the neighbors' spawn didn't last because her heart filled with sympathy for her son when Henry sat him down at home after dinner, in the kitchen, after Barry helped Nora place the dishes in the dishwasher. Barry's face got all red as he forced himself not to cry when he perceived their advice as punishment. It wasn't a punishment! It was for his own protection!

Her beautiful boy listened silently, his lips trembling while Henry warned him that he would call the school to make sure that he stayed away from that particular classmate.

"You will make other friends, slugger," her husband reminded their son in a soft tone. " _Good_ friends, not those who get you all bruised like that."

"Tony's the one who beat me!" Barry recounted for the third time. "Because I...I pushed him first, I know that was bad, but he kept saying stupid things about Iris! Iris beat him up for hurting me...she knows boxing!" He added with barely contained pride.

"Violence is barbaric, sweetheart!" Nora intervened as calmly as she could. "You shouldn't be friends with that violent girl—"

"Her name's _Iris!_ " Barry cut her off, his volume rudely high. "Iris! You said that it was a pretty name, mom! Don't call her 'that girl'!"

Nora snapped at his defiant tone.

"I'll call that brown-skinned tomboy whatever I want in my own house!" She shouted back. "And don't you cut me off, Bartholomew!"

"Nora," Henry chided her sharply though quietly.

She glared at her husband, pursing her lips into stubborn silence. When he sighed in disappointment, she quickly regretted her outburst. She was about to apologize to her son for raising her voice, but froze with her lips parted when she made eye contact: he was staring at her with wide eyes, his whole body tense and his previously red face gone pale. 

"Barry? What's wrong, slugger?" Henry asked, but when he reached out to him Barry flinched. "Do your bruises hurt more? Sorry for upsetting you, son, we should—"

"Mr. Johnson said that skin color shouldn't make us change the way we treat others," their boy rushed to say, his tone unnervingly flat. "He said that people who are mean to others because they have a different skin color are _racist._ "

Nora clutched a hand to her chest, speechless. She exchanged a worried look with her husband.

"Your mother wasn't being mean, Barry," Henry defended evenly as he looked back at their son. "She doesn't want you to get hurt, that's all."

Barry's shoulders dropped down, but before Nora could sigh in relief he immediately frowned.

"You didn't say that Iris was violent before, or a _tomboy,_ " he recalled, his eyes searching Nora's then Henry's while the rest of his body was so still. "When you...when you thought that she was _Izzy._ "

"Because we are friends with the Bowins," Nora quickly justified.

"But we didn't go to the block party even though I told you that Iris would be there with her parents," her son, who had a sharp memory, recounted. "If you thought that they were the Bowins...I remember y-you said that they wouldn't be the only ones there. _You said_ we shouldn't be with...people who, who aren't like us."

"Slugger, you're getting tired," Henry chimed in. "It's been a difficult day for all of us—"

" _You_ refused to organize my birthday party in school!" Barry directed his growing temper towards his father. "Even though all the others...no, not _others!_ All my classmates do it, but I don't get to share my cake with them?"

"Others isn't a bad word, honey," Nora latched onto the only detail she could comment on without feeling like her heart was breaking in a million pieces.

Her own son, her only son, was being _indoctrinated_ by those liberals! Carmichael was supposed to be apolitical!

"With capital o it is," Barry countered firmly. "That's what Margot and Charz said..."

"Margot was an irresponsible babysitter!" Nora reminded him, getting her husband's firm nods as approval. "She let you get hurt! You shouldn't listen to what she said!"

Barry got quiet for a moment, and she hated how serious his little boy's face was. He shouldn't be thinking about things like that! He should only worry about learning in school and playing with children like him!

"One day, Charz invited me and Margot inside Iris' house after we returned from the playground," he informed them as he lowered his head. "Mr. and Mrs. West weren't there..."

He was wringing his hands together on his lap, his anxiousness clear.

See? He knew that he shouldn't have done that!

"That wasn't your fault, sweetheart," she reassured him. "It's okay, we're not mad, right Henry?" She subtly asked for Henry's support through her eyes more than her words.

"You will not go there again," her husband said a bit too harshly, but she understood his anger. "But yes, you're just a child, slugger. Margot is the one who should've said no. We told her to keep you away from those people. You shouldn't have been on that side of the...slugger?"

Nora belatedly noticed the shake in Barry's shoulders, and her eyes widened when she heard her son sniff then furiously wipe his face...wipe his _tears._

"I'm going to my room," he blurted out before hopping off the kitchen chair and running away from them.

Nora broke down after he slammed the door of his bedroom, and it took Henry the good part of the next hour to reassure her that all would be well, that Barry would forget all about this once he started having fun with real friends. He reminded her to take her medicine. She couldn't let stress get to her.

She was relieved when Barry came down to say goodnight, and when he didn't make a fuss for his night routine, and Nora decided to do something that she hadn't done in a while: read him his favorite book 'The Runaway Dinosaur'.

The book was about a young dinosaur, a very special one who had the perfect mother: a mother that kept loving him even when he would worry her by going missing on his own, by running away from home because he wanted to see the world. The mother would love him always and forever.

Nora was so pleased and grateful that her beautiful boy let her read him the story. He hadn't liked being read to since he'd started school. He was an early learner, had been able to read new children's book on his own since he was five, and Henry had reasoned that it was thanks to him knowing all the words of 'The Runaway Dinosaur' by heart.

When she returned 'The Runaway Dinosaur' to Barry's bookshelf, Nora noticed a book she'd never seen before there.

It was titled 'Breonna's Awesome!'* and there was the painting of a...brown-skinned girl, her big smile revealing two missing front teeth, her hair gathered in pigtails that wouldn't fall like normal hair did.

(Nora didn't know where it came from, but it was one of the books that Barry took with him when he tried to run away.

'The Runaway Dinosaur' had stayed in his bedroom.)

* * *

4.

"Oh, and I joined the chess team!" Barry shared enthusiastically.

His voice was a song from heaven in the midst of all those beeping machines. He often sang to Nora, and she had almost cried hearing his voice crack the first time.

He was only twelve, but his body was already changing. It felt like he was taller every week, even though she saw him every day.

She was so grateful that he did come every day, instead of just running off to play arcade games with his new friends at the youth center.

Many of those friends were...diverse.

Nora didn't have the strength to argue with Barry about his choice of friends, but she was still worried about him endangering his safety by associating with the wrong people. She tried not to, but it was hard. What if she didn't make it, despite the doctors' assurance that she'd survived the worst of it and would soon be allowed back home? What if she wasn't stronger than her disease, than the destructive drugs she had been willingly poisoning her body with for two years now?

She couldn't leave her beautiful boy behind. Henry was strong enough to take care of Barry, but he was a busy man. Barry wasn't old enough to be alone at the youth center past sundown yet, so he spent time at the O'Connell's and often had dinner there. Breana was a good woman, but Moira...

Moreover, _that girl_ was still there, across the street from the house Nora hadn't seen in weeks.

"Hey, mom?" Barry called shyly. 

"What is it, my beautiful boy?" She asked as sweetly as she could in her state of constant pain, placing her palm on his face, tears slightly blurring her eyes when Barry trapped her hand against his cheek by placing his own on top of hers.

"Can I get a tattoo on my arm? To hide my scar?" He asked even more sheepishly, biting his lower lip as he waited for her response.

Oh.

She'd noticed how he favored long-sleeve shirts even during the summer. How had she not realized that it was because he was self-conscious about his big scar?

Of course, she allowed the tattoo.

* * *

5.

"Where are you? School was over a while ago!" Nora asked Barry, running the fingers of her free hand over her short hair as she eyed the street from the living room window.

That girl was sitting by the road with two younger girls who were shouting on top of their lungs to convince people to waste money on their homemade lemonade. It was so clear that all the customers so far, _all males,_ were attracted by the cop's daughter's indecent show of skin! That tank top was too short, her belly button showed! And those weren't shorts, they were underwear in denim!

"I'm at the playground, mom," Barry answered, and he sighed. He sighed!

"What are you doing there? You're not a child anymore!" She reminded him. "You were supposed to help me with the garden! That girl came back a while ago and is causing a ruckus with her lemonade sale! She's disturbing the neighborhood!"

"Playground aren't just for kids!" Her son argued after a few seconds of silence. "I'm training in calisthenics, mom, I told you! my arms are so weak! And my legs are so skinny!"

Nora felt her frustration dissipate. Even with his tattoo, Barry was self-conscious about his appearance. He was gaining inches so quickly still. He chose his clothes well, nevertheless, and Nora saw how girls looked at him in the street. He was truly beautiful. And smart, and compassionate. Nora and Henry couldn't be more proud of him.

(The reason why Nora persuaded Henry to let Barry to work for a fashion magazine two years later? She'd once watched a news report claiming that the fashion industry was still very exclusive, that people of color were still in low numbers there. Being stuck in a bed for weeks on end when she was battling cancer hadn't been all for nothing.)

* * *

6.

"Did you decide to work for 'Young City' because _that girl_ was working there too?" She demanded to know as soon as Barry closed the door behind him—the front door, which they'd been forced to use exclusively for a few years now, because the neighbors from the other street were 'musicians'. Their teenage sons had started a band, if that could be called that. They played Metal until sundown, and sometimes well into the evening.

(How could they act so uncivilized? They should know better! The cop and lawyer's daughter was less disruptive with an entire group of Girl Scouts!)

"Hi mom, the photo shoot went well, thanks for asking," Barry said in that condescending tone of his.

Fame was getting to his head. Nora wouldn't resent it if he wasn't working so much with that girl. Nora tolerated it so far, but after the way the cop had verbally assaulted her earlier, she wasn't going to let it go!

"How was the concert? Your former orchestra was the one performing, right?" Barry asked as he hung his denim jacket on the coat hanger.

Oh, he remembered?

"The concert went well, we sold out," she answered diplomatically. "Will you answer my question, Barry?"

"You'll have to specify which girl you're talking about, because I work with quite a few of them," he replied nonchalantly before rushing upstairs.

She waited the two minutes it took him to wash his hands and change into more comfortable clothes to follow him to his bedroom, stopping at the threshold of his open door.

"The neighbor's daughter, who else?" She bit out.

Barry sighed, his wide shoulders dropping underneath a short-sleeve dark blue tie-dye t-shirt. Nora noticed that his arm tattoo was masked by makeup. She was sure that no one would ask him to hide it if he'd done it in simple black ink, instead of the rainbow ink he'd chosen. The sentence 'Run Barry, Run' was perfectly innocent, but nowadays rainbows were associated with those promiscuous sinners.

"I told you that it was a coincidence," he answered as he walked out of the room, passing her by. "Why are you asking?"

"That girl's father knows about our family," she let him know. "He called us all kinds of names!"

He stopped on his way down the stairs and stared at her with wide eyes over his shoulder.

"You didn't tell your 'friend from work' about _your ancestors,_ did you?" She guessed, feeling oddly satisfied about her son's clear discomfort.

He turned to stare at the living room window, even though he couldn't see the cop and lawyer's house from where he stood. He looked concerned, worried.

"This is why we have to stay with our own, sweetheart," Nora explained yet again, making sure to keep frustration out of her voice. "Other people judge us for events we had no part of. Not that we should be ashamed of our history—"

"Yes, we should!" He objected vehemently as he turned around, standing below Nora's eye level only because of his position on the stairs. "It's the lack of shame and basic human _decency_ that keep people complacent and complicit in the face of injustice! How can we be proud to be Americans when civil rights are still disrespected in this time and age, huh? How are we going to celebrate our oh so great nation on the Fourth of July next week, knowing that nothing's changed since the time of the Jim Crow Laws?"

"That's a gross exaggeration," Nora commented right away. "You go to the same school as..."

"You initially wanted me to go to a predominantly white private school on the other side of town!" He reminded her. "That's still a thing!"

"They have the very best chamber choir in the state!" Nora defended.

"Sure, let's forget the point I was trying to make," he mumbled.

"I've dreamed of starting a new legacy," she told her son not for the first time. "Of starting a branch of the family that would be only known for its contribution to the performing arts."

"Because that industry is still so exclusive," Barry drawled, rolling his eyes.

"Being exclusive means that we don't get to suffer people pointing their fingers at us, calling us 'slave owners' and 'lynchers'!" She paraphrased the cop's words.

"Did he tell you if Iris knows too?" Her son inquired out of the blue.

"Bartholomew Henry Allen!" Nora chided him for his concern for that girl's opinion.

He didn't need her approval to be alive and to be an amazing person!

"Of course Detective West wouldn't tell you that, sorry," he apologized before finishing to climb down the stairs then dropping on the couch.

He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tick that he'd had since getting a tattoo on his shoulder two years prior.

He hadn't asked the permission to do it. He must have gone back to the tattoo artist who had done his forearm as well? Henry and her hadn't asked about the legality of the process. That shoulder tattoo was much better because it was plain dark purple ink, and this time it was a chemical formula—a non-existent one, as Barry himself had admitted. It should've been the one on his arm, in plain view. People needed to know that he was passionate about science.

(Would he be interested in adding a musical note in a few years? A tiny one, wherever it would hurt the least. Singing had been a big part of his life, Nora didn't want him to forget that.)

"I...you're right, we shouldn't be haunted by our past," he conceded, a bit melodramatic. "I...I was thinking...instead of going to med school like dad...I could do theater?"

Acting? Nora had no care for it. She watched musicals, of course, but more for the music than anything.

"In fact, I was chosen to be in the school's play that will be performed at the beginning of the school year," he announced a bit sheepishly.

"Oh! Is it a musical?" Nora inquired, wondering if she could get the day off to attend.

"Yeah," he confirmed with a shy smile. "It's a twist on the Broadway rendition of 'Beauty and the Beast', of nineteen ninety four?"

"Barry, that's fantastic!" Nora exclaimed, clapping her hands enthusiastically at the mention of the prestigious institution.

She wished to hug him, but he'd refused displays of affection from her and Henry for a while.

"Thanks. I'm pretty nervous," he admitted, and aww that was the first time he'd talked to her so openly without the intention of starting an argument. "I'm confident about my singing, but it's the acting part that's going to be tricky. It's different from following photographers' direction, you know? Yes, Mr. Sherloque is directing, he's actually famous, but I...I need to be consistent in my role. Anyway, I was thinking, if I can do the play just fine, then I'll give acting a shot."

"I think that it's a wonderful idea, Barry," Nora declared encouragingly.

It wasn't quite what she'd envisioned for him, but a career in acting was closer to her own musical career than to Henry's career in medicine. Barry was brilliant, truly shy of being a genius, so of course Henry and Nora had encouraged him to favor the sciences. But she was happy that he wasn't set on following in his father's steps. She loved Henry and respected modern medicine, but the arts where what distinguished civilized societies from the savages. Anyone could follow strict scientific guidelines like anyone could follow a cookbook recipe, but artistic talent was innate. That was why those people never went far in classical music.

Also, Barry would be less likely to interact with unreliable people in Broadway, or Hollywood? Which type of actor did he want to be?

Nora was so pleased with her son's aspiration that she forgot to ask him what role he got for the school musical.

* * *

7.

One event at the concert hall had been postponed that day (thankfully not cancelled), so Nora had gone home early in the hope that she'd enjoy some peace and quiet, maybe play for an hour or two. Being an event coordinator meant that she didn't get to touch a grand piano very often, nor any other musical instrument for that matter, except to check that nothing was out of tune.

She'd forgotten about the block party happening, but decided not to complain about having to park a few blocks away from her house. Moira's car was parked ahead too, but Moira was a willing participant of this event. Nora was _not._

It was alright, truly. Really. Everyone was being inconvenienced. She would just write a letter to the county. She wasn't new to the neighborhood anymore. This was her home too, and it would be the last time that these people blocked her garage door for their unrefined entertainment.

Nora entered her house from the back this time because the noisy teenage musicians were actually playing on the other street, probably performing for the neighborhood event. That the people attending the event tolerated such an abuse to their ears said a lot about them.

It was possibly because of the loud performance by the rock band that _they_ didn't hear Nora come through the back door.

Or maybe they couldn't hear anything at all other than their own sounds of passion. Nora would acknowledge that it looked just like a scene from a movie.

It was no less _horrifying._

Barry had her propped against the fridge, one hand in her long curly hair and the other underneath her dress.

Her. _That girl._ She had her legs wrapped around Barry's hips. In Nora's _kitchen._

Nora's eyes bulged out as they caught the sight of Barry's tongue sliding up that girl's neck, and she quickly averted her gaze to the floor.

Her brain still processed the fact that the girl wasn't actually supported by the fridge: only one side of her head was leaning against it. Barry was the one holding her up. Maybe it wasn't as physical of a position as Nora imagined, but she knew that her son was strong.

That thought unlocked the reminder that Barry had started exercising regularly by going on morning runs, from that time in third grade, after the CCPD incident. Nora and Henry had first feared that Barry had run away again, finding his bed empty early in the morning. However, he had come back right on time for breakfast, after worrying them sick. When they'd threatened to ground him, they had received the shock of their lives learning that 'thanks to them' he had no friends anyway, not a single one. Barry had rudely asked what exactly grounding him was going to keep him away from doing: reading on his own?

A breathy sound, which was an impossibly smooth mixture of a moan and a laugh, snapped Nora back to the present. She was still one step inside the kitchen, only her head poking past the door.

Her instinct was to make her presence known to the two teenagers, to save her son from this depravity, but she wasn't naive nor blind, she could tell that this wasn't an isolated incident. This was comparable to a movie scene because despite the fast pace of their...exchange, their moves looked _practiced._

So she quietly stepped back out to the small back porch, leaving the door ajar because it closed loudly lately. She took a deep breath to calm herself and wondered how in heaven she could save her son from that seductress without having him turn on her. Teenagers...Nora remembered being young, she knew that right now her son felt closer to anyone his age than to his own parents. She had to tread carefully.

Before she could formulate any plans, she heard unbelievable words come out of Barry's lips, in the lowest pitch she'd ever registered from him.

"Wanna eat you out again, Iris..."

Good Lord, _what?_

He planned on doing what _in her kitchen?_

"Barry! We're in the kitchen!"

Thank y-...hmm.

"Well, yeah," Barry acknowledged, "best place to eat."

Nora was too paralyzed to react to that perverted joke.

"You...you! Hands off me, Bartholomew!" That girl objected with a laugh, and shuffling noise made it through the door, suggesting that they had disentangled themselves from each other. "Don't give me your puppy eyes...ugh, stop! We came here so I could try that fancy energy drink!" 

Ah. Barry had received a case of energy drinks as a complementary gift for featuring in the commercial of an athletic gear brand.

(Henry had bravely opened one bottle and taken a sip of the beverage, then declared that the drink tasted awful. He'd emptied the rest in the sink and placed the bottle in the recycling bin.)

Nora heard the fridge door open and close, and a few seconds later the sound of a seal being broken cracked in the air. The place was silent for long seconds.

"That thing is gross Barry," that girl complained. "How do you even...bleh!" 

"Hey, it's free, plus I'm getting used to it," he replied with that casual, nonchalant tone that Nora didn't like at all. "But you definitely taste better..."

"Bartholomew Henry Allen!" His 'friend from work' shrieked, then giggled. "Come on, we should...Barry! Oh my God, stop! Control yourself Mr. Allen. You're not an animal."

 _Barry_ wasn't! But she! She...

How dared she trespass into a house where her presence was banned? How dared she seduce Nora's son? In Nora's own house!

And how long had this been happening?

"I actually am a beast," Barry joked.

Oh. No way...the musical? He had _the main role?_ Why hadn't he told her so? Ah, it would've been a pleasant surprise for sure...and that girl ruined it!

"That's so corny, bear!" the cop's daughter mocked. "I wish your legion of fans knew what a dork you are!"

'Bear'? She'd...she'd given her son a _pet name?_

The loud sound of a vibrating phone startled Nora, but thankfully it wasn't hers.

"It's Linda?" Barry announced with hesitation from the other side of the door.

"Oh my God, I was supposed to go help her clean up the freezer room at her aunt's restaurant!" The cop's daughter informed him in a rush. "I was supposed to leave as soon as we were done rehearsing!"

What.

WHAT?

She was part of the musical _too?_

She had to be one of the _servants_ who were cursed along with the prince. It was a suitable role for her, being at the service of Barry's character. Wasn't there a scene where all the servants kneeled for their prince and future king when his curse was lifted? Nora would like to see that girl pay proper respect to her son. Apparently he was called the king of the nerds in school, too.

"Hey, I'm sure that Linda can handle it herself," Barry objected, his voice back to his usual pitch, or actually it was slightly higher than normal. "Or she can ask Ian. Come on, Iris, let's—"

"No, I promised her, I gotta go!" That girl insisted, her volume going up and down as she likely moved around the kitchen to get water (did she know her way around Nora's kitchen?) "Where is my phone?"

"Probably upstairs," Barry guessed. "Hey Iris before you go, I've been meaning to tell you..."

"Hmm?" She prompted him.

"I...I hate meeting in secret like this," he declared bitterly. "We're not doing anything wrong."

Yes, yes they were! 

"Yeah, I know, me too," the girl said so quietly that Nora almost missed it.

"I've been looking at apartments lately," he informed her _and Nora_. "By my calculations, I'll be able to afford my own place before we start college. So, no more hiding."

"Really?" The neighbors' daughter reacted enthusiastically. "Like, a studio? Can you afford that _and_ CCU? I might just give up on getting a place of my own so I can cruise through college. I real-ly don't want no debt. Who knows how long I'll go without getting a job that'll pay the bills? But at least we'll suffer through it together."

No! No, no, no! She could struggle, that was her choice, but she'd better do it far away from Nora's son!

"Um, actually I don't have to worry about college tuition," Barry told her.

"Oh, right, your mom's family's rich," the cop's daughter commented neutrally.

 _Exactly._ She didn't live in the same world as them! She should stay in her place, away from Barry!

"Yeah, so I was thinking," Barry resumed, and Nora had to get closer to the door to hear him better because he'd gone quieter.

"I think I could afford a condo," he predicted. "No mortgage, just...straight out of pocket."

"Seriously?" The neighbors' daughter asked with shock.

Nora herself blinked in disbelief.

That wasn't possible. Yes, Barry was making more money than most teenagers could dream of, but that was nowhere near enough to afford his own place! Not a condo!

...

_Right?_

Nora hadn't consulted his account since last year. Henry hadn't said anything about it. She'd just assumed that Barry had earned double due to his busier work schedule this summer...

"Yeah, so, if we...if we lived together, you wouldn't have to worry about affording college tuition," Barry said, and Nora's patience, understanding and sympathy for her son _collapsed._

* * *

8.

"We shouldn't watch this," Henry advised for the nth time, and Nora wanted to tell him to _shut up for Christ's sake._

The Coopers were the ones who'd alerted them of the existence of the commercial because, as usual, Barry didn't tell them anything. The outrage in the voice of Becky's mother had made Nora curious.

The commercial started with a blank screen and a text at the bottom right corner of it, written in small but readable print:

**Based on a true story.**

It was a blessing that the scenes themselves were muted, accompanied by a piano piece. The music was melancholic at first, as the young man played by Barry argued day and night with his parents, then was shown working at a fast food restaurant chain, enduring long hours of work and rude customers. When he got back home, it wasn't to his parents' place seen in the opening scene, but to a dilapidated studio. After collapsing on his cheap mattress, he texted who was assumed to be his girlfriend:

_**We don't need their approval.** _

_**Let's elope!** _

The point of view switched to _that girl_ , playing the character of a wealthy and career-oriented woman—that was definitely not _her_ story—who smiled boringly at people during the fancy events she attended. She was next shown in a luxurious restroom, washing her hands and eyeing the diamond ring of another occupant. Then she was seen walking to a large and imposing office with a view on the city. The man sitting at the big desk of that office stood up and hugged her, probably playing her father. That girl then pulled out an envelope out of her bag, but before handing it to the older man, she picked up her phone and read the message typed by Barry's character earlier.

The camera focused on her face as the music turned frantic, and she gave a smile that gradually stretched wider as she handed the envelope letter labeled 'Resignation'.

(Ah, the man was her boss then. They should've cast a white male to make things clear!)

Then she texted back:

_**Read my mind!** _

Piano notes were played in a crescendo as the two lovers planned a very modest wedding. Even the bride's dress was simple and looked affordable...to Nora. That girl would have to starve herself to afford such good quality dress.

The instrumental was silenced when a velvet block box opened up on two simple but elegant gold bands, and the piano returned in a joyous melody when the bride and groom smiled from ear to ear, tears in their eyes, as they slipped their wedding bands onto each other's left ring finger.

Nora watched impassively as Barry gently took that girl's face with both hands and stared into her eyes with what could pass for love and adoration before kissing her tenderly. On the mouth, with a hint of tongue. The newly weds laughed and hugged each other.

A montage of scenes then showed the couple work hard to make money and move out of the young man's broken down studio into a simple but elegant condo. Somehow every scene emphasized the wedding bands, especially the scene when the new husband pulled out another black velvet box from the left pocket of his expensive-looking blazer. He hid it behind his back, his right hand holding a big bouquet of golden roses that his wife smelled happily and put aside before kissing him thank you. Her happy expression turned into a shocked one when he presented the velvet box, her left hand going to her mouth when he opened it and slid his left leg behind him.

The screen went black right before he kneeled, and the viewer never got to see what was in the box. This time the text was in a huge, gold-colored, cursive font:

**GOLD STANDARD**

"It's just a commercial," Henry defended almost five minutes later, when Nora called Becky since Barry wasn't picking up his phone. "It has nothing to do with—"

"Stop finding him excuses!" Nora shouted, calming down right as Becky picked up the phone.

"Hello Nora! How are you?" Barry's girlfriend greeted.

After all that Nora had done for that spoiled rich girl, she still couldn't win Barry's heart. Four years! How could Barry still pine after that good for nothing after _four years_ of dating a young woman from a good family such as Becky. Was Becky even trying? Barry had a good heart! He found goodness in the worst kind of people, he would fall for anyone who put some effort into it.

(Izzy Bowin, the epitome of musical talent, was unfortunately engaged to a fellow violinist. The Bowins had been a bit distant in the past years, possibly because of the scandal with the Rathaway son. To think that just recently there had been another incident with that...homosexual, lusting after her beautiful boy! Of course Barry hadn't kissed him! Who was that Spencer Young fellow?)

"I'd like to speak to my son, if you please," Nora instructed, ignoring Henry's disapproving scowl at her rudeness.

She owed no respect to that incompetent woman, who on top of everything hid her true hair color, red like Nora. That should've been a hint that she wasn't to be trusted: she was a self-hating sheep, just like Moira. That had to be why Barry kept her around.

Nora should've known better, but she couldn't have done much with Barry in Star City. But he was back home now, in the condo he could've afforded four years ago if he hadn't been so unreasonable.

"Oh, one moment please," Becky obediently replied, though Nora could tell that she wasn't happy with their exchange.

She had to wait an entire minute for Barry to get to the phone.

"Mom? What's up?" Barry asked her as if she were one of his peers.

"Come home for dinner tomorrow," she instructed him. "No need to bring Becky."

She hung up before he could say anything back.

"Nora!" Henry exclaimed, giving her cellphone a panicked gaze. "Why did you do that? You're just asking for another argument. Haven't we had enough of those?"

"Clearly we did not," Nora objected calmly. "Did you not see how he was looking at that girl? That's so _inappropriate_ , he's making people think that—"

"He was _acting!_ " Her husband claimed. "He loves Becky, not her. He's a trained actor, Nora, and so is the Wests' daughter. That commercial was a job! Mixed couples are a trend in the media right now, and they're being smart riding the wave."

" _Barry's_ being smart," she corrected him. "That girl is just a conniving opportunist."

"She was a teenager when they made that mistake, Nora. They _both_ were," Henry brought up. "Leave her alone, the way her family has left us alone. We don't need a scandal. She's famous now, that commercial is going worldwide..."

"I'm not scared of her!" Nora made things clear, poking a finger at her husband's chest. "She's only famous because of our son! You shouldn't be scared of her either!"

"This is not just about us, honey!" He argued. "The _media_ is involved. Remembered what happened with Clifford! Barry's political stance will always clash with ours, but he's _our son!_ We have to stay quiet or we could accidentally ruin his career—"

"If that career is centered around working with that seductress, then so be it!" Nora declared before walking away.

No argument took place during dinner the next day, because Barry brought Becky, who was now wearing her natural hair color. And she was glowing like...a well-loved woman.

Hmm.

Maybe Henry was right, for once.

* * *

9.

"Are you trying to make make me _sick_ again, is that it, Barry?" Nora demanded to know as soon as she walked inside his new condo, which was much too far from home compared to the previous one.

She stood in the living room and looked around.

Where was Becky? Where was that useless woman, the shame of all redheads?

Becky should've made a statement to educate Barry fans about who she was and how long she'd been with Barry, to clear any confusion after what that sorry excuse of a journalist had said—why were _those people_ allowed to work in industries that demanded skills above their competences?

But Barry himself should've defended his girlfriend in the first place! If he thought that Nora would've been placated by his quick 'hi mom', he was sorely mistaken!

"Excuse me?" Barry asked as he closed the door behind him, frowning at her in confusion.

"That video of you with that girl at Jitters!" Nora specified. "And then today your video with that...director, if she can be called that! Why are you letting people think that you're infatuated with that parvenue, that opportunist? Rumors are brewing in the city, just like that time when you made that distasteful commercial with her!"

His confusion dropped, and Nora's heart skipped a beat when his expression turned stony.

"That director is Linda Park, a good friend of mine," he told her coldly. "And the next time you call Iris 'that girl' will be the last time you call _me_ anything."

"What did you just say to me?" Nora asked, baffled.

"I thought that you at least respected my work relationship with Iris," he told her instead of repeating his words. "When you didn't comment on our commercial three years ago, I thought that you'd changed. But clearly I was wrong."

"I'm the one who was wrong thinking that you'd finally accepted the reality of this world!" Nora argued passionately.

"And what reality is that?" He asked her as he crossed his arms over his chest, his volume almost matching hers.

"That you and that girl don't belong to the same world!" She reminded him. "You're not the same people, you never will be, and you owe it to yourself and your future—what are you doing?"

"Opening the door to you," Barry answered as he did just so, then fixed her with a glare as he added: "ma'am."

What?

"Don't call me 'ma'am' like I'm some stranger, Bartholomew!" She chided her son.

"That's exactly who you are to me from now on," Barry declared sternly. "And I said that you wouldn't be able to call me anything, so please refrain from saying my name. Leave."

"Barry, what's going on?" Nora demanded to know, not finding his little prank funny at all. "Are you rehearsing a role on me again? I dislike that habit of yours. Do all actors do it? It's un—"

" _Leave!_ " Her son shouted.

At her. His own mother. 

She stood still, staring at him with wide eyes, because surely this _had to be_ one of his improvised acting exercises. 

"Oh, right," he said with a snap of his fingers, "one moment please."

He disappeared behind the door of what she knew was his home office, and returned to the living room with a book in hand. Nora frowned, but then gasped in distress because she knew that book, she knew it perfectly...

"Barry," she whispered, horrified by the unreasonable thought that crossed her mind when he forced the children's book into her arms.

'The Runaway Dinosaur'.

"I'm special, that's true," Barry declared as he pointed at the book in Nora's trembling hands.

"But you _don't_ love me," he kept going. "Not from where I stand. From where I stand, you haven't loved me since—"

Nora couldn't let him finish that sentence. She couldn't let him speak such a terrible lie.

"Of course I love you!" She corrected him right away. "You're _my son_! Why would you ever think—"

"Because you've been ruining my social life since I was eight!" Barry accused. "And no, I'm not just talking about Iris. I'm talking about Cisco, Linda, Chester, Meena, Ryan...even Hartley! Most of the people I care about are people you despise for the shallowest reasons one could think of! And Iris? I'm _lucky_ that she's the most forgiving person in the world and that she's allowed us to remain friends. You owe her sincere apologies—"

"She's the one who owes us an apology!" Nora objected. "She got you hurt..."

"Sorry, sorry, I'm wasting both our time here," her son declared with a shake of his head and an apologetic wave of his hand. "What was I thinking..."

Then he walked back to the door and opened it wide.

"Goodbye," he said without looking at her.

"Barry, this is quite enough," Nora chided him sternly. "You can't just kick me out of your apartment."

"I'm not kicking you out of my apartment," he confirmed.

She choked halfway through her sigh of relief when he finished his sentence.

"I'm kicking you out of _my life._ "

This wasn't happening. It didn't even make sense.

"You cannot do that," she reasoned with him, "you cannot just kick your own family out of your life. Barry, I'm your _mother!_ "

He looked at her then, but didn't say anything and didn't move away from the door.

She started panicking, the shock of her son's words and behavior turning her mind blank.

Henry would know what to say! He was still at work—Nora had been given a few days off, she couldn't wait to go back—and would be too tired to hear such distressing news, so she'd tell him in the morning. Her mind would be rested then, or better yet she would wake up and realize that everything was just a bad dream.

She lowered her arms to look at 'The Runway Dinosaur', and remembered that being patient was sometimes the only thing a mother could do for her son. She just had to wait until Barry was ready to return into her—

Nora yelped at the fierce hug Barry wrapped her into, the children's book pressed between their chests.

Oh! Thank goodness. It had been one of his weird acting rehearsals all along, right? 

"I'm so sorry mom," he whispered, his voice watery and his arms growing shaky. "I love you, with all my heart."

"I love you too, Barry," she replied, relief making her relax, and she swayed on her feet as her precious son started sobbing. 

They hadn't hugged in so long! When was the last time? When she'd been declared cancer-free?

He stumbled backward, and Nora compensated for the abrupt movement by stepping forward, as if they were dancing.

Goodness, they'd never danced together! They should go to the Debut dance that the Coopers were organizing in a month. 

"I'll always, love you mom, _always_ ," Barry promised as he pressed his face against her neck then leaned away from her, withdrawing his warmth as his arms went down.

Before Nora could complain, Barry gently gripped her right wrist. She placed 'The Runway Dinosaur' in the crook of her left elbow so he could take her hand. She gave him her brightest smile when he made them take two more steps, then two more, and then he placed her hand on his chest, his strong heart beating fast.

Had he also realized that they'd never danced together before? Nora knew that he'd taken classes as part of his training as an actor. They really should go to that event together!

"I know that my values upset you, and I'm sorry for the distress I've caused you over the years," he apologized quietly. "I wish that we could just agree to disagree..."

"We could try that!" Nora decided to compromise. "We could agree to stick to neutral topics, like music and traveling, your father and I need a vac—what..."

They were outside his apartment now.

How...

"It's too late now," Barry uttered dispassionately as he let go of her hand.

Time seemed to slow down as Nora watched the rainbow letters of his tattoo disappear from view was he lowered his right arm.

'Run Barry, Run'. Nora had always wondered at the oddly phrased motivational message. The counselor had suggested that Barry picking up running so suddenly had been a way to cope with his loneliness. Nora had grown so anxious upon hearing that, and Henry had hypothesized that the stress of knowing that she had affected her beautiful boy's school life had lowered her immune system, which in turn had let her tumor become life-threatening.

How was she going to get over this? She might as well die right there.

"Don't think that your husband can convince me to change my mind," Barry warned her as he stepped back inside his condo. "The only way I'm letting you two back in my life is if you apologize to Iris, the way I had to myself, for behaving so terribly with her. Against her. Then maybe I'll consider the option of agreeing to disagree. Maybe not. But you're not talking to me before you apologize to Iris. In person. There are many avenues through which you could request a meeting. I'm not one of them."

"Barry, Barry wait, please..." Nora pleaded as she turned around to face him, tears blurring her vision.

Tears were also running down Barry's face, still, so she knew that this was hurting him too. He didn't want to do this at all!

"She's making you do this, isn't she?" She questioned her beloved son.

"What," Barry reacted in a sharp exhale, his tense shoulder dropping.

Was it relief? Did Nora have it right?

"Is she blackmailing you?" She inquired quietly, looking around the hallway and finding no one around. "Did you do something...things _happen,_ Barry, whatever you think that you're guilty of, we can figure out a way to—oh my God! Barry! _Barry!_ "

He'd slammed the door on her!

* * *

10.

She almost left the living room when she saw on TV that they'd gone to the event together, but what had she expected? 

With Becky out of the picture, Nora would bet her piano that it was that girl's doing, Barry was completely under her spell now. 

At least his career was soaring. Nora had to endure watching that terrible woman share the screen with her Barry because she had to support her son. 

Those interviews and Comic-Con panels were the only way that Nora could ever see her son again. And, ironically, he didn't gush about that girl now that they were part of the same cast. They did complete each other's sentences at times, but it was to speak about the content or technicalities of the movie or about charity work.

"That Caitlin Snow would be a much better match for Barry," Henry commented after the actress brandished her trophy. "I liked her in the movie. Dr. Frost, right?"

Nora was about to disagree when a camera showed Barry say something to Miss Snow, and for a moment she held hope that her husband would be right about Barry's love life for once...

But, no, she recognized the tension in Barry's shoulders. He was upset and not showing it.

The jury had been right to put that girl in her place. She wasn't a lead actress, she wasn't s lead _anything,_ so she didn't deserve to be in the same category as talents such as Patty Spivot—that one could've been a good match for Barry, because she was bold. Unlike Becky, she could definitely win Barry's heart. As embarrassing as it had been to watch her son in a love scene, Nora had been sure that Barry was truly attracted to Miss Spivot. The way he'd licked her neck had been as passionate as the way his teenage self had licked that girl eight years ago.

Barry's speech when he won 'Best Supporting Actor' confirmed Nora's suspicions that Patty Spivot had left an impression on him. There was no need to show her such steadfast support after their work relationship had ended.

Speaking of work relationship, Barry hadn't announced that he and that girl were an item. They behaved like they always had, which was why she let Henry yell at her now and then for causing the rift between them and Barry. He apologized profusely afterwards, bought her something from Decadent or ran her a scented bath and gave her full body massages, and sometimes cried a little bit because just like her he missed their son—Barry got his sensitive side from his father.

Nora didn't begrudge her husband for the outbursts. If only she'd stayed quiet about that Jitters video...

"Oh my God! Henry!" Nora exclaimed when her son was granted one of the most if not _the most_ prestigious award a young and upcoming actor like him could get.

She worried that it would be his first and last 'Best Actor' MAA award, what with the condescending speech he gave.

"See? I'm right about him and Caitlin Snow," Henry commented. "He only mentioned his supposed co-lead once, and it sounded rehearsed. This part of his speech is improvised and he's _quoting_ Caitlin!"

"Because she plagiarized that girl's words," Nora explained when Barry's odd behavior with the brunette finally clicked. "Almost word for word, her speech was borrowed from what that girl had said at the Entertainment interview!

How embarrassing. She should've known better! 

_**"Tell them Barry, tell them!"** _

"Did you hear that?" Nora asked Henry, her hand flying to grab his as her heart fell into her stomach.

"How could I miss it?" He asked back with an eye roll. "She's so obnoxious."

'Tell them Barry, tell them'...why did it sound so familiar? 'Tell them Barry, tell'—

"Henry," Nora whispered, barely able to control the strength of her grip. "Henry, this is _my fault._ "

She'd enable this—unknowingly, but she'd done it...

"What are you talking about?" Henry asked.

"Barry's tattoo," she brought up.

"Nora, you couldn't have known," her husband reassured her. "He fooled us all. If he didn't have millions of people watching him closely, no one would've known that it was written in the Russian alphabet. And the fact that this movie was about Soviets—ah, wasn't it the Wests' daughter who taught him Russian? But he's had other friends teaching him languages. That Ramon guy, he probably taught him Spanish?"

"No, that was her too," Nora said. 

As well as Korean, which Nora knew that girl had learned from that director first. Nora had almost given in once and gone on Instagram to request a meeting, but instead she'd browsed that girl's page and the pages she followed. They were all so...overwhelming. Not just the content, but the visuals.

The posts were all so _colorful._

"Yes, well, the tattoo was done illegally," Henry points out. "I tried visiting the tattoo parlor where we let Barry have his arm tattoo, but it's closed permanently. Apparently it's been almost ten years? So Barry lied to us about getting it at fifteen years old. He did much earlier. Rumors say the tattoo parlor closed for malpractice...Nora? Honey, are you alright? Did you...when was the last time you took your—it's been eight hours!"

Oh.

Well, that's why she could see it all now! All those drugs clouded her judgement! No wonder she'd been so blind to _everything,_ even when the signs had been clear!

She remembered weeping for hours when the first scandal with the Rathaway kid had reached her ears. She'd thought that the rainbow ink on Barry's arm had been a warning that he was a...sexual deviant. Many of Barry's fans have tattoos of a crown filled in with rainbow ink. He was their king, their spokesperson. They were all waiting for him to come out as bisexual.

What a bunch of uneducated and acultured fools. But Nora was no better, she'd known for nearly _two decades!_

Barry hadn't used rainbow ink because he's bisexual or gay. He chose rainbow ink because—

_**"Iris is the Gree-k goddess of the rainbow and a messenger between the gods and humans!"** _

There was only one God, but he'd been trying to tell Barry, and to tell Nora.

_Run Barry, Run._

That's why Barry had started running out of the blue, two weeks after being free from that girl's influence! God had been trying to tell him to run away from her! But he'd reconnected with that girl in high school. The two of them working for the same fashion magazine was no coincidence! That girl had planned it all!

No, not "that girl". She wasn't a girl, nor a woman, and there had been Nora's mistake: she hadn't known who she'd been fighting against and had underestimated her.

A _demoness._ Her son had become the slave of an evil creature. She'd branded him like cattle, had made him print her name in the language of the evil communists...

"Here, come on honey," her husband told her as he handed her a glass of water and three tablets.

* * *

* * *

"Barry deserved better than this," that demoness says. "What if I hadn't..."

She's so good at faking compassion. She's an _actress,_ after all. She's fooled even her own parents. They're good people—for people like them—Nora knows it now. All those people who'd visited to see their baby...they'd known without knowing, they'd _felt_ that the cop and lawyer's daughter was a powerful being. But they'd mistakenly thought that she'd be just like her parents.

If she had, she would've chosen a noble profession: a cop like her father, a lawyer like her mother, any occupation that contributes to society.

She'd chosen to be an actress, _a deceiver._

"Nora, it's okay." Henry whispered in her ear as he rubbed her back. "You're okay, we're going back soon."

"She gave him her blood," Nora whispers, defeated. "My boy, my only son...our only son Henry!" She told him, speaking louder. "If that's true, then he's not _human_ anymore!"

"Excuse me?" Both the cop and the lawyer exclaim.

"What did she just say?" That demoness asks on the phone.

"Please, I beg you, hang up," Henry pleads, "I'll explain everything. _Please._ "

"Don't beg!" Nora chides him. "This is _their_ fault too! They should've..."

"Iris, we'll call you back," the lawyer announces before hanging up and handing Nora's phone to Henry.

"Thank you," Henry tells her. "We have to..."

"Of course," the cop cuts him off, how rude, but he looks apologetic.

Good. Good, they're good people...

"You don't owe us an explanation," the lawyer assures him. "I'll contact you about the lawsuit in the morning, Doctor Allen. And about Barry's condition?"

"No, no," Nora's husband refuses. "We...we'll call Iris ourselves. We owe her our thanks...and apologies."

"Uh-huh," the cop acknowledges.

"Use your words!" Nora reprimands him. "This is why it's so hard for us to trust you people—"

"Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Allen," the lawyer dismisses them, and Henry ushers Nora before she can reply.

"We should tell them," Nora whispers to her husband before looking over her shoulder at the worried couple staring at her. "Maybe if they knew too, they'd help..."

"Let's talk about it after you take your medicine, honey," he suggests, and she groans.

"They fog my brain, Henry, you know that!" She reminds him. "What if I forget?"

"You won't, darling," he reassures her.

He's a doctor, and her husband. 

He's always been wrong about their son, but he's always been right about her. She trusts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, comments, questions, exclamations, and just emojis will all be appreciated!
> 
> TO BE CLEAR, Nora is a legit bigot, and she's a legit entitled white woman who thinks that the world should cater to her needs and wants first. She just has this mental illness that makes her think and act irrationally when she doesn't take her meds. I'm not going to name the illness because mental health isn't very well understood, at least by the wider public in this country and that's where I categorize myself on the topic so I'm not claiming any expertise. 
> 
> (I originally wrote Barry as the one with the mental illness, but I've put him on the spectrum before and with him I made it sound too cute in the story, and I'm not trying to sugarcoat things in this fic. Apologies if I'm as clumsy as the show writers about it or worse, but I think that it's important to represent as many groups of people as possible I'm fiction.)
> 
> So, that was the fallout between Barry and his parents, well mostly Nora but Henry isn't better. I don't think that it was as epic as I envisioned it in my head. Let me know what you think! And yeah, there's another fall out to discuss, I saved it for Barry's POV because the worst of Nora Allen is there.
> 
> *I basically plagiarized the hardcover of the bestseller "Amazing Grace" by Mary Hoffman and Caroline Binch, and used Breonna because #justiceforbreonnataylor  
> I didn't read "Amazing Grace" when I first heard of it because Hoffman is a British white woman and I didn't _feel the need_ to read about black girl's awesomeness from her. I like to think that I'm more mature than I was as a teenager. A book is a book, and unless the author is an asshole it deserves a read in my opinion.
> 
> # That reference will come again in the last two chapters, but I decided not to give last names because I didn't want to make it too real world-like. There are to two singers involved, actually: the one Nora was thinking about is the English opera singer Barry Banks, hence the "happy coincidence". But of course that's not the singer Iris was referring to. Hints: 1970s disco and soul 🙃


	10. I Was Born To Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time he had a a destination, he wasn't alone and he had a plan. Just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 16: edited the summary, the last section between Barry and Mr. Sherloque (yesterday) and the notes below. 
> 
> SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! 😭 hope that the length of the chapter makes the wait worth it.
> 
> This chapter is so long, yet it doesn't even get to the wedding commercial because I ended up dragging on Barry's teenage years 😫 Iris' POV will have a few childhood and teenage years flashbacks, but after those it will pick up where this chapter left.
> 
> Looks like there's going to be an extra final chapter after Iris' POV because there's so much to say still. This story needs more tabloids, on-set gossip and social media drama!
> 
> WARNING FOR NORA being the worst fictional character I've written, in section 15. I did West-Allen wrong on this one💔 but the very end of this chapter isn't too bad, I hope.
> 
> This chapter is Rated E for underage sex between Barry and Iris (17 yo) with bdsm undertones (bondage specifically). There's strong language in those sections.
> 
> "спасибо Умка" = thank you Umka. More translations in the end notes. Next chapter I'll only put words in **bold** to indicate that they're not said in English, like I did in section 11. 
> 
> Thank you all for your support, the few past chapters have been rough but Iris' POV is a more uplifting one, pinky promise. 
> 
> Be safe and take care ❤️

1.

...dah-di-dah-di-dah-dah.

There! Did she get it?

Iris wasn't a morning person, so Barry was supposed to pay attention to the chaperones' instructions in case she didn't hear everything right.

But it was her birthday, he couldn't pay attention to anything or anyone but her! On Barry's birthday, Iris had brought him a slice of her dad's rhubarb pie and she had worn her cousin Charz' 'Pi Day' shirt as a dress. No one else in class knew about the number pi!

Barry had been so happy that she'd remembered! He'd been upset that his dad had refused to let him bring his cake to class and share it with everyone. Everybody else did it!

They were at summer camp now, so they had no parents to bake anything. Barry had a surprise for Iris later on, but for now he just had a happy birthday message in Morse to give her. He'd taught her the punctuation marks that week.

For a moment he feared that she was still too sleepy to even notice his touch on her arms, but after yawning into her palm she turned her head to the side and down and smiled at him.

(His earliest memory of Iris was from the Jazz festival when they were four years old, with her looking down at him from her perch on her father's shoulders...so Barry had never minded being shorter than her.)

"Cпасибо Умка," she whispered, and oh! 

He'd watched the cartoon of Umka the Polar Bear Cub at the library, a few days before camp. Now he understood why Iris called him that: Umka was a curious cub and he had a mother who loved him very much, just like the runaway dinosaur, so just like Barry too! The mama bear even told him stories like Barry's mom used to.

(He was too big for that now, of course.)

One reason why being friends with Iris was awesome for Barry was that she told him about all these books and cartoons that he would've never known about. His favorite book so far was 'Awesome Breonna'. It was like 'Runaway Dinosaur' but for girls! Especially girls like Iris who got called 'tomboy' because they liked to play more than the other girls. That didn't mean that they wanted to be boys! Iris said that she liked being a girl because if she were a boy she'd have cropped short hair and she wouldn't be able to wear skirts and dresses. She liked her skirts and dresses.

Barry liked them too. He was fine not wearing skirts and dresses because he didn't think that he would look as great in some of the colors Iris wore.

She lived up to her name by wearing very colorful clothes every day and wearing multicolored beads or handbands in her hair. Sometimes Barry stared at her for too long, but Iris never minded, she just stared back at him and then started her usual challenge of saying what they thought the other was thinking. At first they would just project their own thoughts onto the other. They'd gradually become good at telling each other's thoughts, though sometimes Iris would look up and to the side when she suddenly didn't want him to guess her thoughts.

*

_"Have you ever wondered why we never played together until we started school?" Iris had asked last May without making eye contact, while he was staring down at her._

_She had been writing 'Run Barry, Run' (she usually told him that when Tony or the others were trying to bully them together) in big block letters on his arm cast, filling the letters with multicolored markers to make a rainbow. It had been his last day of wearing the cast before the doctor would replace it with a splint. Barry had wanted to keep it, but his parents had said that it was unhygienic._

_"Yeah," he'd admitted quietly, trying hard not to sniff at her hair, which always smelled so good._

_Homemade whipped mango butter, she'd said it was, and Barry remembered that smell from multiple incomplete memories he couldn't quite place in time, but they were from living around their block. He'd definitely seen Iris herself at the playground, but always when he himself was leaving.  
_

_They'd been neighbors since birth, so why had they never played together until they met in school?_

_*_

"Is that it?" Iris voice brought him back to the present. "Just happy birthday in Morse?"

She was staring at the way he was rubbing at the big scar on his arm. He stopped the bad habit and smiled at her.

"Of course there's more!" He'd assured her.

He watched with satisfaction as she forgot about his surprise as the day advanced, focusing on learning the survival skills and winning points for her team—purple, Barry was team yellow, and of course their teams were tied up!

He'd known that their respective chaperone were girlfriends, so he had enlisted their help since they were going to be outside kissing anyway (Barry's parents kissed a lot too, but they were better at hiding! Watching people kiss was so embarrassing...)

"Barry! Barry!" Iris called out his name and gasped and laughed, all the while squeezing his hand.

He couldn't decide between watching their joined hands or the fireflies around them or looking up at the meteor shower or just staring at her big eyes being as indecisive as his, blinking lights making them shine in the dark. 

"Happy birthday, Iris!" He'd whispered.

"Best birthday!" She'd exclaimed much more loudly, and they'd both giggled when their chaperones had hushed them.

* * *

2.

"Where were you going?!" Iris' voice made him startle as he exited the bathroom.

Barry wiped the soap suds that he'd missed while rinsing his hands because he was in a rush.

Even though everyone was avoiding him now, he was afraid that Tony and his friends would corner him, now that he didn't have Iris to defend him.

But she was _right there,_ waiting for him as if nothing had happened. As if the past two weeks had been a bad dream, or Barry had been in a parallel universe and he'd finally come back to his original world.

"Iris," he said her name stupidly.

"Where were you going?" She repeated her question, looking very upset. "My dad told me that you ran away. Where were you going on your own, _all alone?_ "

"I don't know," he answered sincerely.

"That's so dangerous, Barry!" She reprimanded him, her volume low but the intensity of her voice and facial expression rivaling his mom's.

But Iris wasn't his mom. She was his friend.

And _he liked her_. Maybe...if she cared so much, maybe she liked him too?

Or she just thought that he was stupid. When she started asking him all these questions about preventive and emergency routines and he didn't have any answer, he definitely _felt_ stupid.

His parents had never taught him any of that. Their neighborhood was safe, that's what they told him whenever he asked them about the news on TV.

And the books didn't teach any of that either! The books said that it was the adults who had to protect him, Iris and all the other kids. So why did Iris have to know boxing, and Linda Park karate? They didn't do it to compete, they did it for 'self-defense'. Defense from who? Barry didn't know about Linda, but he knew that Iris would've preferred to be a gymnast or a dancer rather than a boxer. She was very flexible and jumped high, taller than Barry. But he was shorter than her so that's normal.

But Iris knowing things that adults should know for her wasn't normal.

And Iris stopping wearing colorful beads on her head to school because at the end of third grade the new principal Mrs. Gallagher lied that they were distracting the class wasn't normal either.

Or Iris speaking Spanish (she was learning with her mom, so she was secretly teaching Barry too) to make Nadia the mean girl respect her. Or Iris not crying when she received a slap meant for Linda, who volunteered to take the blame when they got called to the principal's office. But Mrs. Gallagher blamed it all on Iris, even when her mom came.

It had been the first time that Barry had seen Francine West from so close. She looked...not scary, but intimidating, yeah, but only at first, with her short hair and her dark-colored suit. But then she looked at Iris and smiled and Barry realized that of course all mothers were the same. At least Mrs. Gallagher never bothered Iris after her mom had visited.

What ended up troubling Barry the most was that Iris _never cried._ She would just purse her lips to the side or tighten her jaw, but then she would nod, smile and say thank you and walk away like nothing happened. She was affectionate with Charz and Linda and her parents, but even then Barry thought that she held back. She'd hugged him more tightly and had given him bigger smiles... _before_ his mom had ruined everything. Since then, her gestures towards him were polite but not as warm as before, and she still sounded nice but he didn't like how she talked to him like a teacher or even like his mom sometimes. They were both kids! They were _equal!_

The worst part about Iris never crying is that she would tell Barry that him being a crybaby was alright (she never called him that, that was Tony), that her parents had told her that crying was okay, that it didn't mean that the person crying was weak.

Barry didn't think that Iris herself agreed.

* * *

3.

"But, she already has her medicine," Barry pointed out as he glanced at the kitchen cabinet. 

He was too short to reach for his mom's drugs, but that's why they were there.

"That's for something else, slugger," his dad told him.

"People can have more than one disease at the same time?" He asked dumbly.

"Yes, son," his doctor dad answered with a slow nod. "And the condition that your mom already takes medication for cannot be cured with our current treatments. So she will never be cured. But cancer can go away. She just has to be strong slugger."

"Mom is very strong!" Barry asserted. "And you know the cure, right, dad? You can cure mom? I know that cancer is bad..."

He didn't want his mom to die! Please!

"It all depends on the treatment and her strength, slugger, but you can help," his dad informed him.

"How? How?" Barry asked, of course he wanted to help!

"No more staying at the playground late," his dad told him, and Barry was about to protest when he added: "you can go right after school, okay? But just for an hour. Let's spend time together to make dinner. Like a family. That will be good for your mother. It's time you learned your way around the kitchen, son. In a few weeks your mom and I might not be able to make you fresh meals, you'll have to reheat food, only in the microwave don't use the oven, alright? And you can learn to make simple cold food on your own."

"Okay, dad," Barry agreed.

"Breana will help, and she'll be the one picking you up from school starting tomorrow," his dad added. "So don't linger at the school's playground, Barry. She's being nice picking you up on top of watching over you."

"Yeah," Barry realized too. "I'll make sure to thank Ms. O'Connell for her time."

"That's good, slugger, you do that," his dad said with a small smile.

"And...and mom and I can read stories again," Barry suggested.

He didn't really want to revisit those stories he knew by heart. He was ten years old! But his mom was always happy whenever they did it.

"That's a good idea, Barry!" His dad approved, looking a bit surprised. "I'm so proud of you slugger."

"Thanks dad!" He returned with a smile, which fell when his dad's expression turned strict.

"Now, get rid of that book that has no place on your shelves," his dad said. "I don't care where you got it, but give it back. Your mother was upset when she saw it. You don't want to upset her, do you? If she's upset too often she'll end up under a lot of stress. Stress is bad for the immune system..."

"And the immune system is what protects us from diseases," Barry dutifully recited the rest of the sentence.

He didn't cry when he put 'Awesome Breonna' in his backpack the next morning. He wasn't sad.

He was just nervous about giving it back to Iris.

What if she thought that he was turning into a racist?

* * *

4.

"I don't think that we should be friends anymore," Barry declared then immediately tightened his jaw and looked to the right so that he wouldn't cry.

He'd learned that from Iris herself...and it worked. No way!

"What? Why?" She asked, and she sounded surprised and sad.

In reality, he didn't want to stop being friends!

But, he _had_ become racist, and evil, and he might not have realized it if he and his mom hadn't visited her family for Easter and if he hadn't learned that his great-great-grandparents had owned slaves.

Barry had been the one asking about the Abolition and the Quakers, which he'd learned about in school, and he'd thought that his family maybe had moved out of the South because they had been for the North during the Civil War and didn't want to stay with the bad people who hurt Black people and wanted to keep them slaves.

But no, his family had owned slaves, and no one was ashamed of it. They'd said that it was history, that it was over and they had never done it again and didn't want to.

Then why did Barry have these weird urges to _chain_ _Iris_? Well, not necessarily use a chain, but bing her hands...

The other day when they'd met in school, at their usual secret spot by the janitor's closet, Barry had pushed Iris inside the tiny place when they'd heard people coming, instead of pretending to walk away in separate directions like they always did. And Barry had lied to her that he could still hear people just so he could keep Iris squeezed in the corner, in the dark, and he'd held her wrists and he'd liked that _she couldn't go anywhere without him deciding that she could._

Mr. Johnson had mentioned that some children became racist just like their parents without realizing it. Barry should've been careful! He'd known that giving back 'Awesome Breonna' was a bad idea...

Now he hated Linda, and he hated Malcolm, even though they had never done _anything_ wrong to him. Iris even said that Malcolm was smarter than her. But Barry hated him, he wanted to kick him sometimes. Because he was African-American. And Linda was Korean-Amercian _._ They were _people of color_ and Barry hated them, so he was _racist._

"I don't understand Barry, what did I do?" Iris asked him quietly, wringing her hands together for a second but then quickly placing them neatly at her sides when she saw him watching. "Is it because I said that rainbows are for LGBT? I didn't mean to say that you're gay, and it's not a bad thing to be gay..."

She didn't even remember that she was the one who had drawn that on his cast in second grade! He'd simply put her words on his skin, in a different font so it would be discreet! He always wore long sleeves in school, so Iris hadn't known until last summer at camp. He'd been shocked. That she'd been shocked by it.

Barry didn't know how they had ended up in the same summer program again, when their respective parents had been trying to avoid each other. And they'd been leaders of their respective teams this time! It had been so great, the competition had been fierce though neither of their teams had won, but that was okay since everyone had enjoyed the activities. And Iris had convinced Barry to sneak out at night but without chaperones this time, and they'd watched the lunar eclipse and meteor showers. At some point they'd stared into each other's eyes, sitting within the same personal space, and Barry could've sworn that they'd almost kissed.

No, he had _imagined it,_ Iris hadn't wanted to kiss him. He was making things up in his head to justify the way he thought about her. He'd read books about it. Those books weren't in the kid's section of the library, but since they didn't teach anything about slavery in school he'd had to teach himself.

"Is it because we're hiding?" Iris asked him. "Barry, please look at me! You don't look me in the eyes lately!"

He couldn't, because she might read his thoughts. It was dishonest, but he'd rather hide the fact that he was racist. He was worse than his parents. At least they were sincere in their bigotry. They weren't hypocrites like him. 

"I'm sorry, Iris," he apologized before walking away.

He started breathing better when he was far enough from her and the urge to grab her wrists faded away. She didn't call after him more than once, and he didn't look back.

He cried quietly that night because his mom was back from the hospital and now that she wasn't sick anymore it felt safe to say that this was all _her fault._ If she hadn't been terrible to Iris back in third grade, things wouldn't have turned that way. Her and his dad. He'd started to think like them, and now he couldn't even think of Iris like a real friend...

She had taught him so much! Russian, Spanish, and she'd started teaching him Korean but Barry hated Linda so he had changed his mind about it and Iris hadn't insisted. She'd switched to teaching him a few gymnastics moves—she said it was called 'calisthenics'—and he'd taught her how to sing even though his voice was all cracked. And she was a good singer, but then she was even more amazing because she'd figured out how they could believably change their voices so their accents wouldn't be so terrible when they spoke Spanish or Russian (especially him).

When summer came around, and Barry's voice was better, he called the tattoo parlor where he'd gotten his arm tattoo...and he impersonated his dad to request an appointment.

He didn't even do a good job at changing his voice, but the artist was busy so he wasn't paying attention. He easily agreed to let Barry come alone as long as he brought his dad's signature.

His dad's doctor signature was so ugly yet sophisticated. Thankfully, Barry was excellent at calligraphy because he'd had to learn how to write with his non-dominant hand and when his right arm had healed he'd kept perfecting his fine motor skills in both hands, but of course his right one was better.

He wanted a new tattoo, and not just to impress his new friends when they would find out. He just really wanted a new one. The chemical formula of deoxyribose would be cool. And his dad wouldn't be mad about that, he was sure. Barry's parents had been upset about the rainbow ink on his arm. Until Iris had said that rainbows were for LGBT, Barry had been confused by their anger. 

For him, rainbows represented Iris, and not just the Greek goddess. Iris West hadn't known about that minor mythology character, just like Barry hadn't known about the soul and disco singer who shared his name. But Iris had always been surrounded by colors. She was pretty and smart and strong and even though she never cried and refused to talk about her not-so-good emotions Barry still wanted to be friends with her.

He hadn't even held up one week before apologizing to Iris and asking to be friends again. She'd forgiven him after giving him a weird look for a whole minute. Barry had started making new friends, though, so he didn't get to secretly play with Iris more than twice a week nowadays. But they had a blast when they did meet. He was glad that she didn't call him a nerd except when she was joking, and even then she made it sound like it was...cool.

Making new friends had made Barry realize that he wasn't racist after all, because not all of his new friends were white yet he valued them all the same. And he didn't hate just random people of color: just Linda and Malcolm. Because...

He was jealous of them. Because...

He was _in love with Iris_. He didn't just like her, he'd fallen in love with her, and he'd stopped hurting his brain trying to figure out when things had changed. But now it made sense why he wanted to spend all his time with her.

Plus, Barry's friends also hated other students for no reason. They were all teenagers, so being weird was normal#...

And his guy friends had introduced him to...adult magazines and movies. Barry would die of a embarrassment if his parents found those under his mattress. He knew that he was too young to be thinking about sex, but he watched the DVDs on mute and with the screen turned at an angle away from the door, and he had his cartoon DVDs at the ready in case his parents came downstairs in the middle of the night.

Barry had seen sex scenes that...maybe, but not really, made him feel that he'd like to...with Iris, when they were older? But not all the time! Those scenes didn't even appeal to him most days. Just when...when Iris was being stubborn and lying that her hands were just fine when they were visibly bandaged because she'd hit the big sandbag too hard in her parent's garage. Why? what had happened? Was it school? Her family? She never said anything, while he told her everything...well, not anymore. But Barry wished that she'd tell him more.

Barry also felt weird when Iris was patronizing him, or saying that the books he read about racial discrimination didn't get it right because they were all written by white people. That's when the urges were strong, because it was either him fantasizing about her or him screaming at her because she wouldn't tell him _anything!_ She'd taught him so many things, but she refused to make him understand, or at least tell him what would make things better! That's why the books didn't get it right, wasn't it: because those authors probably had black friends too but they wouldn't talk to them either. Barry had tried to read books written by African Americans authors, but it was like he'd skipped a whole grade and didn't know half of the things that were being discussed. He was too young to fully understand any of the books he was hiding to read in the library anyway, but the books written by black people themselves made him feel like he was stupid. He wasn't stupid! Everyone told him that he was smart.

Other guys had those weird urges too, Barry knew that. He'd chatted with them on forums, lying that he was sixteen years old, and they'd told him that he was too young ( _oh God_ ) but had recommended him books and had told him that it didn't make him a bad person ( _thank God_ ), that they were actually people who liked to have things he wanted to try done to them. But most websites said that it wasn't true, that Barry was a sexual deviant and that he was a sinner and God would only forgive him if he stopped having those thoughts. Barry had borrowed his dad's library card to request some of the recommended books, but then he'd realized that he couldn't be seen picking them up and he had to cancel the requests.

So Barry had turned to his mom's women's magazines, and it was clear that women didn't like those kind of things, so teenage girls like Iris definitely would be freaked out by the ideas in his head. The editors and authors of the women's magazine all agreed with the forums where girls and young women said that porn objectified women, and that men were perverted idiots for thinking that they wanted to do those things with them. The women in porn were actresses, and they only accepted to be treated the way Barry felt like trying because they were paid to _fake_ liking stuff like that.

Anyway, Barry was fine with being just friends with Iris... _not really_ , but what other choice did he have?

When they did meet at the playground, they sometimes practiced singing and calisthenics, even though Barry still sucked at the latter. But he was a good runner! It was when she'd cheered him up on a sprint, just the day before, that Iris had remembered about writing on his cast years ago. She'd remembered about him having to throw the cast away.

Then she'd asked him to look at her, and since he'd still been high on the endorphins of the sprint, he'd just stared back and had let her see _everything_. He really was an idiot. He'd deserved her walking away from him.

She had texted him last night that maybe they should just text each other for a while, and not see each other so often.

Because twice a week was 'so often' in her head. Was time a social construct now?

Anyways, there was Barry at the door of the tattoo parlor and his mom had just called him and she was really getting on his last nerve calling Iris "that girl", and Iris was irritating him too.

She didn't want her words tattooed on his skin? Fine! He'd get _her name_ on his skin, instead of the chemical formula of deoxyribose.

But...

Maybe at a discreet spot, especially since he was getting it done illegally?

And, he needed to code Iris' name, because if his parents or her parents saw, or the other kids at school...

So, yeah, he should make it look like a chemical formula still. 

Was this a good idea? It would be a pain to remove. What if Iris ended up hating him? What if Barry fell for someone else?

(From far, far away, Meena looked a bit like Iris. Just a bit...so he'd kissed her last week, but it had been weird and they'd both laughed about it because they were just friends.)

Oh, whatever. Iris would always be part of his life anyways, so it wasn't that weird to have her name tattooed on his...shoulder? Yeah! What were the odds of Iris ever seeing his bare shoulders?

* * *

5.

When Iris said that they should just text each other for a while? 'A while' ended up being _two years_.

During those two years, Barry held strong and never asked to see Iris in person again, and she never lifted off their text-only rule either. They did text often, at least every other day, and they did go to the same school and took the same classes, so...it wasn't that bad. They still learned new things about each other. He had his own friends and so did she, though it really looked like Linda was the only one who seemed to sincerely like her. Barry really appreciated that Iris didn't mock him for being a nerd, instead she asked him tons of stuff and he was happy to be the one teaching her new stuff for a change.

With his free time, Barry joined the school's chess team and signed up for science fairs, on top of continuing with choir practice. The science fairs helped make his dad less suspicious of his shoulder tattoo, because of course his dad could tell that the chemical formula was bogus. Barry's mom had loved it from the start, especially because it was printed in simple dark purple ink rather than rainbow.

Then high school came, and it started feeling like Central City wanted Barry and Iris to reunite.

It all started on school grounds, of course: Iris saved Barry from what could've been a life-threatening anaphylactic shock! Barry's shocked "thank you, Iris!" felt so inadequate, but he hadn't wanted people to gossip about the new prettiest cheerleader being nice to... _the king of the nerds?_ Who'd come up with that dumb name?

*

_"I think it was Linda who first said—Barry! You almost dropped me!"_

_"Sorry, sorry! I thought I saw Tony...wow, it's been a while since that happened."_

_"Tony? He doesn't live that close, and he sprained his ankle—thanks—but maybe it's healed by now..."_

_"Hopefully. He's actually a good quarterback. He's fast..."_

_"After watching you today, I can safely say that you're faster, bear...what? What?"_

_"I don't—it's so weird to talk to you after all this time. To hear your voice from up close. You sound different, a little."_

_"So do you! Your voice sounds...deeper? Still a tenor, though, right?"_

_"Yeah, I'm a true tenor for sure. Now I'm fully resonant on the entire range."_

_"Wow, that's great, Barry! Are you going to join the chamber choir, then? I don't think that we have an orchestra choir..."_

_"We don't, and no, I won't join the chamber choir. I don't even think that I'll be able to stay in the chess team. I got a job, and the pay's good, but I need more hours."_

_"I got a job too! At 'Young City!' I've been a subscriber for years, used my lemonade sale—"_

_"No way! Iris, that's where I work too!"_

_"Shut up! Are you a model? I'm so jealous of your long legs, Barry. I think I'm done growing..."_

_"A model? Why would...nope, not a model. I'm helping with setup and costume. Boring but essential stuff._ You've _got to be a model."_

_"Me? I'm too short! I know it's not the runway, but..."_

_"You always dress so nicely! Even the uniform looked better on you than on everyone else..."_

_"That's...thanks, bear. But, oh my God, this is crazy! I'm a costume and setup assistant too! How have we not seen each other?"_

_"You probably come later than me because you've got practice...hey, is everything okay with your team?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"What's up with your teammates? I watched one of your practices once, and they seemed to be keeping you on—"_

_"Barry! That's so embarrassing! Why did you watch me during practice?"_

_"Umm...If I hadn't watched you, I wouldn't have helped you practice just now?"_

_"Right, right! I didn't even question it...We're always on the same wavelength, so I thought—"_

_"No we're not. Not always—hey, it's okay Iris! You don't have to worry. I'm over my crush for you now. We're just friends, right?"_

_"...yeah, friends! I...I missed you, Barry, and I'm sorry for—I overreacted about the tattoo, I shouldn't have..."_

_"Water under the bridge! We're high schoolers now! Getting our first paycheck soon even! Twelve dollars an hour! That's a lot, isn't it?"_

_"Twelve? Are you sure? Minimum wage is eight fifty-two..."_

_"Yeah! I was so shocked! I think I'll be able to buy my ticket to Comic-Con myself this year! What about you? Anything you want?"_

_"Comic-Con? I...no, I don't want to go to Comic-Con."_

_"Clothes, then? Well, you already have a fashionable wardrobe. They should really make you a model at YC! It must pay even more, right?"_

_"I guess...oh! That's Linda, I need to help her out at her aunt's restaurant."_

_"You work there too? That's a lot, Iris! What about school work? We're gonna be valedictorians, right?"_

_"I don't care about a perfect GPA in high school! It's college GPA that counts."_

_"Do you already know your major? For college?"_

_"No!"_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"You don't want to tell me? That's fine..."_

_"I just don't want to jinx it. My parents might say no, still. See you next time?"_

_"What do you mean, next time? We have history together tomorrow!"_

_"Yeah, but we can't talk in school, so."_

_"What? But I thought...Iris!"_

_"Text me, alright? I'll reply when I'm done helping Linda!"_

* * *

6.

"Dude! You're into theater too?" Chester asked. "That's what's up! Nerd gang, unite!"

Barry went through their group's special handshake on autopilot, keeping his eyes on Iris. She was halfway across the auditorium, too focused on the rehearsal below to notice him and Chester.

"It's too late to join now," Chester warned as he nodded towards the stage. "Even for the props and all. Next year, maybe. Or senior year. I don't want to drop chess yet. Yo, Allen?"

"Huh? Yeah, don't drop chess," he advised as he finally looked at his friend. "Or at least be an emergency member like me..."

"Man, really?" Chester asked when he followed his gaze, his volume much lower. "Iris West? I heard the story about you two in elementary school. You still pining for her?"

"I'm not pining," Barry denied.

He wasn't! He'd known...He'd known for a long time that they would never be more than friends. But they weren't even friends now, were they? Friends talked to each other in school, and at work!

This wasn't the same as back in the day. Barry's parents had only been upset about him working at the same place as Iris for a few days. Well, his mom more than his dad, since the latter was used to working with and for people he despised on a regular basis.

Was Iris _ashamed_ of him? He'd thought that she admired his knowledge? Was it just to make him feel better for being a nerd?

"Alright, good!" Chester approved with a gentle tap on his shoulder. "I mean, us nerds got no chance with popular kids in normal circumstances. She'll probably date Tony or Jake or even Malcolm fits the criteria, he's no athlete, but—"

"Tony? Never!" Barry objected as quietly as his disgust allowed. "Come on. He bullied us all at Carmichael, you wouldn't say that if you'd been there. Iris beat him up to defend me..."

"You're sure you're not pining?" His friend questioned, squinting his eyes at Iris, then at. Barry. "I mean...you're a king in your own right, so why not? Go for it, man. I'm rooting for you."

"King of the nerds is an insult, not a legit title," Barry reminded him with an eye roll.

"Yeah? So was the N word," Chester pointed out. "Terrible analogy, I know, but in your case, the title 'king' is already there. And you _are_ a nerd, nothing bad with that!"

"No, of course not!" Barry agreed. "It's just...why are the teachers' pets above us? Or the skaters? Why is _anyone_ above us? We're not sheep like them! We make our own rules and have our own club on top of joining other clubs. We go to school's trips _and_ plan our own trips! We're organized, we're disciplined! We're smart! Cisco's gonna be CEO of his own company, and he'll employ the students looking down on us right now in ten years. You'll see!"

"Yeah, I believe that," Chester replied. "And I agree about the skaters, but the teachers' pets are like the popular kids, right? They raise funds for the school, advertise stuff and all that."

"They do?" Barry asked, surprised by the information.

"Yeah, like, the alumni who got voted 'Student of the Year'," Chester let him know. "The winner from Midway College this year? She was a teachers' pet here last year."

"Student of the year," Barry echoed, intrigued.

"The official title is 'Most Outstanding Female Student Of Central City' and there's one for guys, too, but everyone just says 'Student Of The Year. It's open to high schoolers as well, actually, but the candidate's accomplishments can be as old as two years, so college students are more likely to get it because they get more prestigious awards and stuff."

"Is there, like...what kind of accomplishments?" Barry asked. "And what's the prize?"

"A full scholarship for an academic year, I think?" Chester guessed. "But the minimum requirements, yeah, for sure a GPA above 3.5, and a crown can help too."

"A crown?" 

"Elected king or queen," his friend confirmed. "Which makes more high schoolers eligible since we have prom, but that's all about social popularity, everyone knows that, so volunteering or fundraising is more likely to earn someone a nomination than prom queen or king."

"There's a nomination process too?" Barry questioned, discouraged. "You can't just sign up?" 

"Yeah, but that's just asking a teacher to put your name in," Chester informed him. "Hence why teachers' pets make up a higher number of the elected students, even above the popular kids. It's all politics man, even before we become adults. But like you said, we're not like that. We go against the grain. Who needs to be famous? Well, I don't need to but _I want to._ I want to prove that us nerds can do whatever we set our minds to. Black nerds especially, it's like—we're nowhere to be found in mainstream media. But we're out here! I'll represent my nerd brothers and sisters, that's my life's mission. You know Felicity Smoak, the Hollywood actress?"

"From Star City, yeah!" Barry replied with multiple nods. "My mom's from Star City too, that's how I know. Felicity just enrolled at SCU, right? That's my mom's alma mater!"

"Really?" Chester exclaimed, shocked. Then he faked a smile. "I mean, yeah, your mom must be proud..."

"Felicity wouldn't be proud to know that she has stuff in common with my mom, that's for sure," Barry said out loud what he knew his friend was thinking. "But yeah, what about her?"

"She's a nerd, man!" Chester told him with a vigorous nudge with his elbow. "Her glasses are the real deal! IT genius, that's why she's already in college even though she's the same age as us. None of us even wear glasses, but she proudly does! I follow her on social media, she replied to one of my posts!"

"For real?" Barry reacted, floored.

"Yeah!" His friend insisted, looking just as in awe as him. "I told her that our Comic-Con is looking decent this year, and she said that she'd like to check it out! She promised to come if she's not filming!"

"Wow," Barry reacted, interested. "I should get her autograph. It might sell high in a year or two..."

"What is it with you and your obsession for money, man?" Chester asked, laughing. "Dude, you went to the freaking Multiverse* for your birthday weekend! What'd you need to sell the autograph of a teenage actress for?"

To get enough money to buy his own place by the time he graduated college, that's what. The fact that his college trust fund wouldn't cover housing irked him. He wouldn't even get the dorms' experience? Damn it! He was so fed up living with his racist parents. He couldn't invite anyone home! Going to the Multiverse with his family had been fun, but he would've preferred to spend his birthday with his friends! He was born on _Pi day_ and couldn't even nerd out about it with Cisco and the others! The only time he'd properly celebrated his birthday had been in first grade...

He eyed Iris, who was taking notes about whatever Mr. Sherloque was teaching the student actors.

_"Are you a model? I'm so jealous of your long legs, Barry."_

Modeling paid decently at YC, he'd checked with the agents. Way more than props assistant. And if someone as pretty as Iris thought that he could be a model...

* * *

7.

"Too short, huh?" He teased her, propping his chin on his arms, which were folded over the back of his chair.

Well, it was _her_ chair, but she was standing in front of the big vanity mirror, one hand inside whatever alien contraption with UV light she was using to dry her nail polish, the other hand applying mascara. He was sitting in the wrong direction to see her transform from pretty to...pretty _with makeup._

"Shut up!" She replied, giggling. "Barry, I can't believe that we're doing this. Well, that I'm doing this. You're a 'proper model', at least..."

"Who said that?" He questioned, detecting the air quotes in her speech.

She shrugged, and he was about to insist when something caught his eye.

Something on Iris' arm? What...but there was _nothing,_ now that he was staring at it. He could've sworn that he saw, glitter? Something shiny.

Huh.

"Almost done!" She announced, and yeah, now that she was using her right hand she was going faster—why was she doing her own makeup? Were the makeup artists all taken?

Well, she was doing a great job on her own. Gosh, she looked...'pretty' didn't cut it, actually. Gorgeous, stunning, _beautiful_...Malcolm Lyndale was so freaking lucky. Barry wanted to ask Jake Hill, Iris' ex, what was wrong with him! At least their breakup had seemed to make the other cheerleaders support Iris more. Iris' social life must be better now, since Linda had even started dating too, right? Though Barry didn't like that Ian guy. He smoked! illegal wasn't always cool! Well, Linda's love life was none of Barry's business, and neither was Iris' love life for that matter...

"Hey, you seen Barry?" They clearly heard Cisco beyond the closed door of the dress room, which meant that he was shouting—did he sound angry? "Excuse me, did you see Barry? Tall, dark hair, green eyes, freckles? Okay...Barry!"

"Oops," both Barry and Iris reacted at the same time, and after chuckling in sync as well they stared at each other via their reflection in the mirror.

The exchange lasted a few seconds, but to Barry it felt like an hour, a year, a decade of pining and dreaming and wishing that he'd been born to different parents; or maybe, maybe born with a different skin color? He knew...he didn't understand but he knew that life was inherently hard, dangerous _,_ for black men in this country; but Iris was a young black woman, she had it harder, yet she walked through that same hard life like she owned the ground her heels clacked on, like a _queen_...so maybe Barry was fine with his pale skin**, maybe if he just got a proper crown himself—

"Bartholomew Henry Allen!" Cisco called out, making both Barry and Iris wince.

"Come on, man," Barry mumbled as he lifted off the chair.

"Run, Barry, run!" Iris teased him. 

"Ha, ha, hilarious," he replied with sarcasm.

Hey, at least they could joke about his tattoo now, right? That's what had made _her_ run away from him. It had been so uncharacteristic of her! Iris never ran, she stood her ground and looked people in the eye as they talked bullshit, and she simply stepped over that crap like a classy lady. No, not a lady, _a queen._ She'd definitely get elected homecoming queen next fall. Nerds didn't participate in that, but...maybe he'll vote for her. Secretly.

"See you in a few!" Iris chirped in before tying up her hair in a loose bun.

Tying up...

Shit _,_ he was still into _that?_

Barry took a deep breath to calm himself by the door, then waited for Cisco's voice to sound less close to exit the dressing room.

"Where the heck'd he go?" His P.A. was saying, sounding tense and way too serious as he took his phone out of his pocket.

"I can't even go to the bathroom without having you scream my government name all over the place?" Barry joked. "What's up man? You knew where I'd be in...eight minutes. Let's go, I'd like to ask Terry a few questions about the theme, actually."

"How about _I ask you_ first why Iris West's paycheck amounts to barely half of yours?" His friend asked sternly.

WHAT?

"What do you mean, half?" He questioned dumbly. "Iris and I earned the same as props, why would..."

Wait, _no_ , he'd never—he'd never heard her confirm that they earned the same, had he? What had she said?

_"Twelve? Are you sure? Minimum wage is eight fifty-two..."_

No.

No, no, NO! How had he...He'd earned about three and a half dollars more than her, _per hour?_ For an entire year? That was...fuck, that was...

"You didn't know," Cisco exhaled, his shoulders deflating.

Huh?

"Of course I didn't know!" Barry barely managed to keep his voice below shouting. "Why would you think that I'd tolerate—"

"Yeah, sorry, man, I don't know why I thought that, my bad," his best friend rushed to apologize.

Barry appreciated that, but...he'd thought that. Cisco had thought that...

"Do I not pay you enough?" Barry asked, his voice sounding small. "You...I thought it would be a one time thing, Cisco, because of Laurel, but she's gone now so..."

"Dude, what? No way!" Cisco rushed to cut him off, stepping closer and grabbing his upper arms. "Barry, you overpay me to the point that my pop thought I was dealing! Thanks to you, I'll be able to go to D.C. for the National Science Fair Competition next Fall, and I've only been working for you for three—"

"Working _with_ me," Barry corrected him, making sure not to show his shock at his friend's words. "Okay, that's good hear. Damn it, five minutes! I'll call Len. I'm not doing this photoshoot if Iris doesn't get paid the exact same amount as me."

"What? Really?" Cisco reacted, breaking Barry's heart again.

And making him feel like an idiotic asshole.

As he pulled out his phone, Barry internally lamented that he'd been a simpleton by assuming that most students at his school were just like him, privileged upper middle class kids.

They were. _He wasn't._

His maternal family was upper class, no middle whatsoever. Barry would never get used to seeing his grandparents' 'primary residence', which really was a modern-day castle. His parents' house looked like a shed next to it.

Iris...she was saving money for _college_ , wasn't she? And Barry had been talking about buying his Comic-Con ticket!

A three dollars-and-a-half wage gap...fuck! And that wasn't counting the longer summer schedule, or their current wage gap as models...

_"You're a 'proper model', at least..."_

That had been their rationale for paying her less than him, huh? That he fit the criteria of a runway model, and she didn't? Or that he was white and that she was black? Male versus female?

He might not be able to do the photo shoot at all, he was about to get sick...

"Why are you still there?" Iris' voice called out, and Barry felt immediately better seeing her look so carefree yet regal at the same time, walking backwards in order to face him and Cisco as she progressed towards the set in the opposite direction. "Shoot starts in three minutes! Don't be late!"

"Huh," Cisco whispered when she disappeared around the corner. "No offense, muchacho, but she deserves more money than you by virtue of her superior beauty."

"Claro#," Barry whispered back before speaking on the phone. "Hey, Len? Oh, hey Mick! Is Len there? Oh, Lisa...no—yeah, actually, may I speak to Lisa?"

* * *

8.

"Shit, shit!" Barry heard Iris curse.

Iris did _what?_

"What's wrong?" He asked her as he adjusted his paintball gun.

"Can I get a jacket, please?" She requested to no one in particular from their spot in the indoor field.

Uh-oh. Zipper problem?

One of the lighting guys' head whipped up towards Iris. He was crouching down to set up one of the projectors a few feet away. After looking Iris up and down twice and finding nothing wrong, he scowled _disapprovingly_ then went back to work.

That guy was a pervert (Barry needed to get his name), but yeah, Iris didn't actually have anything to hide. Her cargo pants were fine, and her paintball vest made her look almost flat-chested—her chest wasn't on the bigger side to begin with, nothing wrong with that, but...yeah, no modesty to protect. Even the stylist who approached her frowned, holding a replica of her vest. Like Barry, she'd thought that she'd had a wardrobe malfunction.

"No, I mean, thank you, but..." Iris was babbling, and suddenly she jogged away from the set.

What was going on? She looked panicked. Iris never looked panicked! Her fans called her the 'One True Queen', because she was the embodiment of poise and elegance. How they could tell from still pictures, Barry didn't know, but they were right.

Iris came back at the same time as the photographer arrived, and that one was known for his tardiness. Fifteen whole minutes of absence, and nothing about her was different. She went back to her usual calm demeanor, that was it.

The shoot went well, but it wasn't as smooth as expected because the black lights were all on Barry and Iris and not on the photographer so it was hard to see his hands gestures, but after the break he just shouted more.

"Cool," Barry commented at the end of the shoot when he noticed that along with her gear, Iris' nails were glowing in the dark too. "Why didn't I get something extra, too?"

"Because Cisco isn't here," Iris joked.

While it was true that Cisco always found a way to improve his modeling experience, Barry was glad to be able to chat with Iris without having to hide. Did she feel that way too? Sometimes it was hard to tell.

She'd broken up with Malcolm a few days back, and while that didn't mean that Barry had a chance with her now, it made him feel slightly less guilty whenever he thought about her when he was lying in his bed or taking his time in the shower or after fooling around with one of the models. Just slightly, because it was still not okay to think about her like that.

He'd been so good seeing her as just a friend...until that trial shoot with Terry. Since then, everyone wanted a piece of them both, to the point that they rarely modeled for their own company anymore. It was okay, they'd become expensive enough that YC benefited through their contracts anyways.

(Barry hadn't told Iris about being the one who'd made Lisa aware of her terrible wage, and of course Lisa was happy to take all the credit for making Iris a pioneer in better wages for models of color at YC.)

"What happened out there?" He cautiously asked Iris after he was done changing, and was now hanging out in her assigned dress room for the first time since the paycheck discovery by Cisco.

"What do you mean?" She asked back as she finished removing her makeup.

He'd been relieved to have his removed, because those UV lights had felt hotter than regular lights, which didn't make sense because the projectors had fluorescent rather than incandescent bulbs. Maybe it had to do with being so close to Iris in the dark...

"Nothing," he lied. "Never mind."

Was she scared of the dark? Of being in a dark place _with him?_ Had that been a panic attack? She'd said 'shit'! Had he ever heard her curse before? He really couldn't remember any instance.

Most importantly, what had happened between the time she'd left the set all flustered and returned all calm and composed?

"You want me to drop you off?" She asked him when she was done, and he had to suddenly step aside to give her a wide berth because her hair smelled strong of that mango butter thing and with his professional mask down he didn't—

"Oh, damn it! Sorry!" He apologized when he stepped on a cord and jostled something on the vanity.

It was one of those alien manicure contraptions. Gel nail dryers? Yeah.

"Uh oh," Iris reacted before giggling. "Let's run before they see that we vandalized their cheap stuff..."

"If it's cheap they're not going to fight us over it, right?" Barry pointed out with a laugh of his own.

He made sure that it still worked, and phew, yeah it did. Didn't want to get on anyone's bad side...

_Wait a minute._

NO

WAY.

"Barry?" Iris called out from the door, a step past the threshold already. "It's working, can't you see? Let's go!"

"Can you close the door and switch off the lights, Iris?" He requested flatly.

"Huh? What's up?" She asked...after half a second of hesitation.

All these years, he'd thought that she'd forgotten about writing on his cast in second grade, that she'd only remembered about it at the neighborhood playground when he was thirteen.

*

_"Wow. You're a road runner!"_

_"Ha, tell that to your dad's colleagues."_

_"My dad's colleagues?"_

_"The ones who caught me when I did run on a road. Remember, in third grade? Yeah, they caught me 'cause I was so slow back then. Not as slow as when I dragged my feet from CCPD back to my parents' house. My mom was holding my arm so tightly I thought it was going to break again."_

_"Well, you weren't supposed to run, you were supposed to...never mind."_

_"Huh? What are you talking about?"_

_"This! I wrote it on your cast! You were supposed to throw it away!"_

_"Ah, so you do remember?"_

_"Of course I do! Barry, look at me!"_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"Yeah, never mind."_

_"Iris?"_

"I gotta go."

*

Barry had assumed that talking about his broken arm had jolted her memory about writing on his arm cast. But she'd actually gone quiet to stop herself from completing her own sentence, hadn't she? Because...

"Barry, let's go," Iris suggested, and if he hadn't taught her how to sing steadily, would he have been able to tell that her voice was off?

"Iris, please," he begged her, his own voice shakier than hers. "Close the door and turn off the lights."

"Okay, the door's closed and the lights are off," Iris announced lightly once she was done following his instructions, chuckling nervously. "But we're supposed to do that when we leave the room, you know?"

"Can you come over here, Iris?" He requested. 

"Barry..." she whispered.

"Please!" He half-shouted, grabbing the gel nail box with a shaky hand when she stomped towards him. "Thank you," he said as he gently took her wrist to expose her right arm to the UV light.

During the shoot, her paintball vest hadn't exposed any cleavage, but it hadn't covered her _arms_ either. Her t-shirt underneath had been short-sleeved, just like Barry's. That's why she'd asked for a jacket, because there was...

Nothing. Nothing? There was nothing on her right arm.

"What?" He exhaled, confused.

He grabbed her left arm this time, nothing there either.

"Barry, that's for nails, not for tanning, silly," Iris chided him softly. "Let's go."

He'd been so sure! How come...

Oh.

"Wait, wait," he requested while ever so slightly tightening his grip on her left arm.

He carefully placed the gel nail box back on the counter, and used his freed hand to feel his way around the vanity until he touched what felt like...yes, the makeup wipes.

"Barry," Iris exhaled, trying to step back when the crinkling sound of the packet resonated in the dark room.

"I'm the one who forgot," he stated apologetically. "I'm so sorry Iris. All these years I wondered what I did wrong, why you were so shocked by my tattoo the first time you saw it at summer camp."

The first time Iris had _said_ the words 'run Barry, run', not written them, they'd been six and seven years old. It had been ten years ago, almost day for day.

Tony's friends had started picking on Barry, and hadn't been intimidated by Iris' air punches. Instead, they'd started pushing both her and Barry around. Tony himself hadn't been there at first, but he'd arrived just in time, and his friends had mellowed down and walked away like nothing had happened. They'd known that Tony liked Iris, and Barry couldn't believe that it had taken him so many years to figure it out.

Tony had only ever pulled on Iris' hair because that always got him her attention. He'd never pushed her or threatened her to her face, he was always talking trash behind her back mostly to annoy Barry. Iris had never fought Tony either, not until the day Barry had started that fight.

"You wrote those words on my cast because I was supposed to throw it away," Barry recalled. "You were throwing those words away too. You must have been so irritated when you saw that I immortalized words that you considered trash. Then you tried to see the bright side, saying that rainbows were for LGBT. You weren't calling me gay, were you? You were hoping that I was an LGBT ally, at least."

He brought the packet of wipes closer to him and pulled out two sheets back to back, because Iris had to have packed up a lot of foundation and powder on her arm to be so calm when she'd returned on set, sure that the black lights—UV-A light—wouldn't shine through her layer of makeup. That they wouldn't reveal the tattoo that Barry had caught a glimpse of a few months back, thanks to the UV lights of a gel nail dryer.

*

_"Run Barry, run!"_

*

Iris remained silent as he switched his hold from her left arm back to her right one. She wasn't confirming or denying anything. 

Why hadn't she told him anything, all these years? If she'd spoken plainly...no, she shouldn't have to speak plainly.

Communicating plainly wasn't _their thing_.

They were Barry and Iris, Iris and Barry: they communicated through stares and other forms of body language, and Morse, and occasionally Russian and Spanish...heck, Barry had ended up learning Korean too because he hadn't wanted Linda to have an advantage over him.

Iris was still quiet, holding still, her breath even while Barry's wasn't...

"I ran away, like an idiot, because the runaway dinosaur did it whenever he was upset," he recalled his reasoning back then. "And Breonna dreamed of running away too. But at least in Breonna's dreams she stopped to pick up her friends before running away to the Land Without Adults, where bad things didn't happen. You were so upset that I ran away, Iris, without you and without a destination and with absolutely no safety precautions. But now I understand that you were mostly upset that I ran away in the first place. That I avoided you for two weeks. Then I asked you if we could still be friends _in secret_! I should've known better. I'd done better before...just not against my own parents."

He had the urge to bend down and kiss the skin he'd just cleaned out, but the solvent in those wipes smelled even stronger in the dark.

"I can't believe that I didn't remember my own fucking reply to your words," he whispered when he carelessly discarded the wipes and grabbed the gel nail box to expose the _UV tattoo_ on her arm.

Iris had to have renewed it recently because it was barely faded. Like Barry's memory of that day, when they'd almost gotten beaten up by Tony's friends.

*

_"Run Barry, run!"_

_"No! I'll fight with you. I'm not scared!"_

*

He'd been scared, of course. But he couldn't have fathomed leaving Iris to fight for real, all alone. Back then, he couldn't have fathomed leaving Iris' side for _anything_ but a bathroom break. They'd been the best of friends, and while Iris had clearly felt responsible for him because he was physically smaller and emotionally more sensitive, Barry had assumed that they were equals.

What a naive, idealistic fool his six-year-old self had been.

He hadn't been _wrong,_ though.

Iris and him _were_ equals.

Until they did something terrible to forfeit their universal rights, _all humans were equals._

Heck, in the eyes of God, even the sinners were as equally valued as the saints.

Yet 'society' kept trying to prove six-year-old Barry wrong, his parents first of them.

"They're wrong," Barry whispered as he stared at Iris' tattoo.

_**Don't Run. Stay and Fight.** _

* * *

9.

"When did you get it?" He asked, looking at their respective houses from a block away.

They were in Iris' car, after stopping at that smoothie place that Barry suspected of using syrups because his 'green monster' drink tasted way too good.

They hadn't said much since the time Barry had seen Iris' tattoo. Iris had reiterated her request that they leave, and he'd been the one suggested they grab something to replenish his blood glucose because both the photo shoot and the emotional turmoil he'd gone through had depleted his energy.

"The tattoo, I mean," he specified. "And where?"

"I got my tattoos initially made at the Speed Force," she answered calmly, glancing back when he stared at her with wide eyes. 

Tattoos, plural?

"But I've renewed the UV ink at a parlor owned by Charz's friend," Iris added as she briefly held her arm up. 

Barry forced himself to calm the hell down and to focus as he searched her eyes.

 _Damn it,_ he couldn't figure out what she was thinking anymore. They'd gone two entire years without communicating via body language...

"Iris, please," he decided to go for the easy route of begging. "Talk to me. In plain English, since I'm clearly unable to understand anything else, however many languages you've taught me."

" _You_ taught _me_ Morse Code," she reminded him with a smirk.

He was about to dismiss the point with a shrug when she lifted off her shirt, just enough to show her right side.

Forgive Barry for almost fainting regardless: he hadn't seen that part of her body since their very first summer camp, almost _ten years ago._

It had been unmarked then, unlike today. Now, if one squinted a bit, they could see dots and dashes tattooed in brown ink mere shades darker than Iris' skin. They formed the shape of a...lightning bolt¥? So they were meant to be read going down to the left, then in a straight horizontal line, twice through.

"The cipher was in fluorescent ink too, actually," Iris let him know. "It's completely faded though, I stopped renewing—"

"B.H.A, 3.14," Barry read out loud before she even finished her sentence.

Bartholomew Henry Allen, March 14.

_No way._

"Right, of course you can read your own initials and birthday in a flash," Iris joked. "And yes, I got it done after you tattooed my first name and birthday in semi-inverted Cyrillic. Barry, that's so obvious! At least you put it on a discreet part of your body. If Sean hadn't told me I wouldn't have known that you have it."

"Sean told you about my tattoo?" He asked, shocked. "Whatever happened to customer confidentiality?"

"I used my puppy eyes when I asked him to tell me," she...joked, right?

When she made a demonstration, Barry's irritation at his tattoo artist plummeted.

_Jesus Christ._

He'd never known that she had such a powerful weapon in her arsenal. He wanted the same!

"Okay," he squeaked, then cleared his throat before speaking up in a normal tone. "So, two tattoos. Why renew the fluorescent ink on one and not the other?"

Her glare was unexpected, but he kept staring back until she looked away first.

"The message on my arm is for myself now," she answered. "I let the other fade because what was the point of pining for you anymore?"

"Say what," Barry reacted, his mind blanking out.

"You said that you were over your 'crush' for me," she recalled bitterly, then huffed petulantly. "Thank you for making that one clear, I guess."

"Iris, what?" Barry exclaimed, disbelieving.

He'd sabotaged _himself_ this entire time.

"Of course I wasn't over my crush," he rushed to tell the truth, then backpedaled. "There's no crush! Iris, I've been _in love with you_ since—"

"Don't lie, Barry!" Iris cut him off. "I tolerate many things, but not lies! Not about this! I was dumb enough to tolerate being your backdoor ne—"

"Don't say it!" he cut her off, horrified by her words. "Don't joke about that, Iris, please...I swear that I didn't... _Jesus Christ_. I swear Iris, I never meant to make you feel that way."

He decided right there to never tell her about his ancestors owning slaves. He'd screwed up so much worse than he'd feared, way beyond the code behind his arm tattoo meant!

"I'm sorry," Iris apologized right away, anger seeping out of her voice as she placed her hand on top of his.

Uh, she shouldn't do that. Since they'd started working together, his bondage kink had returned full force.

"I'm sorry, that was inappropriate and such a terrible thing to say to you," Iris reiterated her apology. " _I know you_ , Barry, at least enough to know that you meant no harm when you suggested we stay friends in secret. You were the sweetest, happiest boy I'd ever met. You were more naive than even me, so innocent, and of course all you wanted was to find a compromise between not upsetting your parents and not upsetting me. You know, at times I wondered if your parents adopted you. But you look too much like your mom."

"And my blood type says that I'm my dad's son for sure," Barry informed her, shrugging when she lifted her eyebrows at him. "Yeah, I wanted to be adopted so badly that I looked for proof everywhere. No such luck, though I did find something to confront my dad about. That blood type he passed on to me, in fact. I'm AB-negative, and that's not...Iris?"

"No way," she whispered.

"Right?" He agreed with her shock. "He's got not-so-distant Mongolian ancestry, I saw his DNA test! I wonder if my mom knows..."

"Barry, I'm AB-negative too."

He stared at her, then at his empty smoothie cup (syrup, or another addictive substance?) then at her again...then he remembered something they'd learned in freshman year.

"Right, right, no, you're actually more likely to be AB-negative than me, Iris," he stated with a nod. "Remember Mr. Black's class about blood types?"

"Not really?" She admitted. "I mean, I knew even before Mr. Black's class that skin color is actually the most arbitrary way to group human beings."

"Yeah, totally," Barry acknowledged. "The fact is that the A blood type is relatively common, but the B blood type is the rarest of the three A, B and O types. It's historically found mostly in Central Asia and in pocket regions of Africa. People say that race is more than skin deep...bullshit. Culture and religion... _politics_ has nothing to do with our biology. Cut the skin and blood comes out first, and according to our blood types you and belong to the same 'race'. And that's not some stupidly random criteria: blood type is a matter of life and death. If not for universal donors, you and my dad would be my only chance of survival if I ever lost a lot of blood. My dad's an orphan, that's why he didn't even know that he has no right to be racist. I hope that he got sick when he learned the truth, because he makes me sick holding such disgusting values when he's a _doctor._ "

Iris tightening her grip on his hand brought his mind back to the matter at hand.

"Iris, I sincerely thought that you stopped seeing me in person because you realized that I wanted to be more than friends whereas _you didn't_ ," he confessed. "When we first talked at the playground in freshman year I thought that I had to convince you that it was safe to be friends again! I had no idea that you'd been upset about my arm tattoo."

"I ran away from the playground in seventh grade because I'd just realized that you hadn't understood why I wrote my message on your cast," she revealed, letting a long sigh. "So I got my own arm tattoo to correct you, so to speak, a few days afterwards. And I got a UV light flashlight to show you, because I knew you'd find it cool. But when you didn't offer to meet in secret anymore..."

Barry saw her use her tried-and-true technique of tightening her jaw and looking to the right. He took a quiet deep breath because _that_ triggered him, damn it.

"A year into our text-only relationship, I was missing you so much that I went back to the tattoo parlor," Iris resumed. "I know that Charz only supported me because she was scared that I'd do things illegally. She's so mad at me for breaking up with Malcolm..."

"Why did...never mind, it's none of my business," Barry quickly took back his question, startling when Iris wrenched her wrist away from his hand.

"Of course it's your business, it's _your fault!_ " Iris accused him.

"What?" He responded dumbly, though internally 

"It was bad enough that I compared Jake to you," she admitted, dropping her forehead against the steering wheel. "When I started dating Malcolm, I realized that it wasn't a fair comparison so I tried to forget you and I almost did but then we started modeling together and—God, Barry, I'm so jealous of your girlfriend, whoever she is."

"My what, now?" He asked her, his eyebrows going high.

"Come on, bear, you don't have to spare my feelings, I'm a big girl," she reassured him with a self-deprecating smile. "You're so famous now, plus the other models keep talking about you and your gentlemanly behavior. One of them gotta be dating you, or at least...seriously, you're lucky that your nerd status is shielding you from the groupies at school! But there's no way that...I know that you fake it for the camera, but there's no way that you look like that, speak like that, and walk like that, but don't have a girlfriend!"

"Iris," Barry exhaled, torn between groaning in frustration and laughing at the ridiculousness of his life. "I'm not dating anyone, never have. The other models? It wasn't serious. But the chemistry we have, that 'extra something' that everyone is raving about? It's not fake, not on my part. I look, speak and walk in a way that helps me hide my feelings for you, a way that makes me look cool so that I won't be too obvious when I'm next to you, though the way Cisco looks at me sometimes I clearly don't succeed when we're off-set. So yeah, I'm not cool. I've been obsessing over the same girl for as long as I can remember..."

"What do you mean, 'obsessing'? Did you stalk me?" Iris suddenly interrogated him. "On social media, or physically? I've seen you at the auditorium..."

"What? No!" He answered. "I want to be an actor, me and my friend Chester both do! We've been watching Mr. Sherloque give tips to the students in the plays. Just like you, right? You wanna be an actress?"

"Yeah," She admitted before squinting her eyes at him and raining down more questions on him: "how tall am I exactly? What's my shoe size? My favorite color? My favorite singer? Country I'd like to visit? Language I'd like to learn next?" 

"How would I know exactly how tall you are?" Barry countered with a frown. "You're always wearing some type of heels! Shoe size...umm, you look like a—wait, is the shoe sizing system the same for males and females? I don't know! I should know that, shouldn't I? If you have a favorite color you've hidden it well because you wear basically all colors of the rainbow a few at a time, except when you're in your cheerleaders uniform I guess? So, navy blue? I'd like to say that Barry Double$ is your favorite singer because that's who you thought I was named after when we first introduced ourselves, but it can't be that easy. Country you'd like to visit...Mexico? You speak—no, wait, Russia, duh! Or South Korea, to go with Linda? Next language...you should make it ASL. How did we skip that, Iris? It's embarrassingly ableist of us. I only know a few basic phrases, I should get back to learning it. Anyways...did I get anything right?"

"You got two right," Iris let him know with an amused smile, and Barry saw that she was about to touch her hair but she stopped herself. "If this was a quiz, you would've failed! You're right, you're not cool, _at all!_ "

How about he tied her hands, huh? _Then_ they could argue whether or not he was cool.

"But you don't even know all those little things that obsessed people should be able to recite in their sleep," Iris kept going with a light slap of her hand on his shoulder. "Half of my fans would've passed this quiz with a perfect score. I'm offended that you're not one of my fans! We work together! Anyways...the jury rules you not obsessed, Barry Allen."

Oh.

"I mean, I do think about you quite frequently," he confessed. "Even when...even when you had a boyfriend...why you're laughing?"

"медвежонок%," she cooed, then giggled some more, and his options were to either blush and rebuff the childish diminutive or—

_Damn it._

She shouldn't have said that.

* * *

10\. 

The fact that Iris started cussing _in Russian_ made Barry chuckle, and with his lips between her legs that created slight vibrations that then made her moan loudly.

All the sounds she was making were music to his ears, much more so than the songs by Barry Double playing on his speakers. The 'best bedroom music' was definitely more enjoyable while he was putting his theoretical bedroom skills into practice.

"Eбать, ебать, Barry!" Iris whined into the skin of one of her extended arms when he wiggled his fingers in her pussy, and 'fuck' indeed: she'd just reached her second orgasm, so fast after the first one.

He needed to be inside her, now.

But just to make sure...

"You ready?" He asked between two kisses on her inner thighs, easing his fingers out of her as slowly as possibly—his hands were shaking a bit, and Iris was so wet now, they definitely hadn't needed all that lube from the get go. Oh well.

"F-fuck...you!" Iris barely managed to speak coherently, in English this time, sounding so out of breath that Barry spent a moment rubbing her skin as soothingly as he could in his own excited state. "I was...rea-ready _before_ my first orgasm! Why did you give me a second one? You're such an asshole...Barry, no, no more massages...shit, that feels so good, bear, yes...No! Stop! If you—I'll _never ever_ suck your dick if you don't fuck me with it right now! And untie me! Yes, _I loved it_ , don't say a fucking word about it. And I know without seeing that you're smiling that little shit smile of yours, drop it! I said untie me, ugh!"

Iris West, loud and vulgar when she was high on endorphins? No one would ever believe Barry if he told the world. They'd call him crazy. Scratch that, her fans would burn him at the stake for the blasphemy. If Barry himself heard anyone say that about her, he'd figure out a way for Iris' parents to put them behind bars.

Of course, Iris' swearing like the proverbial sailor didn't phase Barry. As a girlfriend in general, she was actually her old sweet self, the Iris he'd known before his mom had ruined their friendship. And she hadn't freaked out about his kink, thank fuck. Instead, she'd been curious and even a bit eager to try what he wanted them to do together.

Barry was so high on the sight of the girl of his dreams tied up to his bed, unable to see anything behind a sleep mask, her legs only able to move by his good grace because they'd gone weak after her first orgasm.

He hadn't watched her face then, nor had he asked Iris permission to give her a second one (in his defense, he hadn't planned for it), which according to her made him an asshole. He'd live.

Now that they were past foreplay, he very much wanted to see her eyes and listen to her feedback. So after fumbling to wear a condom—thank goodness she couldn't see him waste the first one he tried—he obeyed the queen's order when she got quieter, removed her mask and untied her wrists. He'd used a soft silk tie that may or may not belong to his dad. If he knew...

No, no, Barry didn't want to think about the fact that he and Iris were still hiding, that dating in secret was worse than being secret friends. That was a sure way of making himself go limp—oh, _never mind,_ Iris' hands exploring his body would keep him hard for a while longer.

"Why...why'd you take so...long to untie me! Bear, that's...umm, so mean," she whined in between brief kisses, sounding normal again. "I waited two weeks for this..."

Because they had to get tested. While Barry hadn't had intercourse with any of the other models (Iris didn't need to know that he was still a blushing virgin), he was aware that penetrative sex wasn't the only mode of transmission for STDs. Plus, Iris had had two _real boyfriends_. He hadn't asked her anything about her relationship with them and didn't want to know.

Barry was pleasantly brought back to the present when Iris wrapped her legs around his hips and her arms around his shoulders, forcing him to lean over her and prop himself on his forearms. Her grips felt quite secure...She'd recovered her cheerleader's strength, then? If so, he could just—

"Barry!" She shrieked when he flipped them over, carefully but decisively, making her prop herself above him on her hands. "What in the world, Bartholomew Henry Allen! Why are you trying all these...oh my God! _This isn't porn!_ You're crazy!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks" Barry quipped as he started fondling her tits, and yeah, that shut her up, in the way that counted at least...but he couldn't...damn it! Why was she so short! Or was he the one too tall? Oh, wait, _pillow_.

"What, are you sleepy already?" Iris questioned him skeptically when he scooted over and shoved a pillow underneath him, making her bounce on his lap (oh, that... _boobs_ were even better in real life! He'd only touched the other models' breasts through clothes.) "Barry, we haven't even—ah! Oh, shit ohshitohshit...bear, I—fuck! Yes..."

She started grinding on his thigh as he kept on sucking her tits, and okay Barry had really thought that doing that was weird when he'd seen it in porn videos, but that was...was there an evolutionary advantage for adults' obsession with women's breasts? He wasn't gonna overthink it.

"Why'd you stop?" Iris almost whimpered when he did, but when she saw what he wanted to do in his eyes she eagerly cooperated in getting in position for...he was big enough, right? He didn't want to compare himself to her exes, but—nope, nope, no room for insecurities! There was _literally no room,_ Iris was so tight and hot and wet and fuuuuuuck...

They both made weird sounds of distress and pleasure as they tried to take it slow on that first pass, and the second one, and how was Barry supposed to _work with her_ anymore, Jesus Christ! He should...

"Iris you feel amazing," of course he started babbling, damn it. "You're so amazing, Iris...coño! Oh, shit, did I just...fuck yes, baby, ride me...pfft!"

They both laughed at that spontaneous but so corny line. At least it made them relax, and Iris lowered down on his torso and woah, skin to skin was the real deal, and with her so close he could hear her little sounds of pleasure and her feedback better, and he could hug her and rub her back and grope her ass and kiss her hair—how was he going to go any day without making love to her from now on? Would she be okay with quickies in school, or at work? That was so risky, but...just mutual masturbation? Or him eating her out? How could she even taste so sweet to him, when objectively her natural lubricant tasted mildly salty and tangy, like the aftertaste of a key lime pie, or a lemon drop roll but without the salmon?

(That first secret but public date with Iris had been nice, really, but Barry couldn't care less about sushi.)

He decided not to overthink it either, especially when Iris' limbs got weak again and he had to roll them onto their sides. Good thing that Iris was almost there already, because Barry felt his own climax knock insistently at the door from hearing her filthy words of encouragement and seeing her entire front and from holding her leg up in the air—porn wasn't _all fake,_ after all.

"...feels so fucking good Barry, oh! Fuck, fuck, finally, um...you don't, ah-ah, uh...you don't know how often I've...thinking of you since oh yes, fuck! Bear, come on, Сильнее!"

He obliged, and after a few harder strokes he came right before she did, her voice much more silent than his.

Untangling from each other and getting rid of the condom was so _awkward,_ but they laughed about it and the cleanup was more enjoyable. Barry was glad that he'd listened to Iris' tip of doing it on top of dark bath towels, because then all he had to do was throw them in a hamper. And he was glad that they were in his room so he could slip into clean underwear.

"That was so embarrassing," Iris whispered into his chest as she sneaked an arm around him and started tracing her fingers along her coded name on his skin.

"You having a potty mouth during sex?" He asked with a wide grin as he thumbed at the thunderbolt on her side. "I love it, Iris. You don't have to be a perfect queen all the time, you know? Not when it's just us... _fucking._ "

"Shut up!" She ordered him petulantly, chuckling with him then leaning away for a moment to grab something on his bedside table...oh, a hair tie, a small one.

"Iris, I'm obsessed with your neck for sure," he warned her as he watched her sit crossed-legged and undo her messy high bun.

She just giggled as she started braiding her hair to one side so he could lick the cooling sweat off the other side of her neck.

That unique sound of hers, that perfect blend between a moan and a laugh? He was obsessed with that too.

* * *

11.

"You three!" Mr. Sherloque abruptly shouted from the stage as he waved at the audience. "Par ici*!"

There were more than three spectators, most of them students who'd come to audition for the musical that would be performed in the fall: a steam punk remake of the Broadway's rendition of "Beauty and the Beast."

Barry was sitting right next to Chester, the two of them far enough from the students auditioning not to be confused with them. So was Iris on the other side of the room.

So why did he feel like the Literature and Theater teacher was staring at them?

"Dude," Chester's whisper further confirmed Barry's suspicion. "Let's just act like we didn't see or hear anything."

That seemed to work. Mr. Sherloque kept evaluating the auditions, but Barry had a bad feeling about the fact that no one seemed to audition for Maurice, Belle or the Beast...three roles that were definitely not taken.

Barry startled when his phone vibrated. It was Iris texting him.

_**Raduga: you should leave NOW, unless you want to spend the entire summer memorizing lines. I'll leave after you.**_

Barry didn't look her way, and he calmly showed the message to Chester, who pretended that it was good news and that they should go learn some more.

"Who's Raduga?" Chester asked as they were shuffling down the row to reach the aisle and exit the auditorium.

Before Barry could make up a story, Mr. Sherloque's voice boomed, speaking in **Spanish:**

**"Taking college-level science classes won't be enough to earn you the title of Most Outstanding Student next year, king of the nerds."**

How did he know that Barry wanted to win that title?

Barry needed it in order to pacify his parents after he told them about him and Iris. He didn't want his mom to use his trust fund as blackmail, to make him choose between his education and his girlfriend. Hopefully the idea would never cross her mind, but just in case, her hands would be tied by the time he earned that title. Not everyone kept up with fashion, so Barry being a teenage icon wasn't that helpful. It might actually work against him if people thought that he was a player.

But a prestigious academic award would make Barry's dad worry about creating a scandal. Barry's mom didn't care about what people thought of her, she was born into an elitist environment and thought herself above public opinion; but Dr. Henry Allen had humble beginnings, and as a doctor his public reputation mattered a lot. Plus he wouldn't be where he was without his education. Therefore, he would do anything to give Barry the chance to earn a higher education degree, and he would do anything to prevent the entire city from calling him a terrible father on top of calling him a bigot. It was truly him that Barry hoped to impress and pacify with the title of 'Best Student', because honestly valedictorian alone wouldn't cut it.

Barry wished that CCU offered full scholarships so he wouldn't need his trust fund at all. They didn't, but it was okay since he had a plan, and it was a good one. No running away this time, he was going to fight. He would fight for Iris and for their future together, personally and professionally. He was so thrilled that she wanted to go into acting, too! But neither of them were in a rush to go on stage, being fashion models as high schoolers was challenging enough as it was. So they weren't interested in joining Mr. Sherloque's troupe.

 **"To earn the title, you must be nominated for it in the first place,"** Mr. Sherloque reminded me. **"However, your favorite science professor has had no less than eight students ask him to nominate them since you dropped by the office last month, and a few are _his favorite students._ Your academic records are excellent, but you're not going for a physics major in college. Your chance of getting the nomination from my esteemed colleague is therefore...how do you scientists say it? Null."**

Barry saw Iris turn her head towards him as he did a slow one-eighty to look down at the teacher who always wore a hat.

 **"Do you know why the...teachers' favorite students have higher chances of getting that prestigious title than popular students?"** The teacher asked him.

Everyone was watching Barry now, most of them probably wondering why their mentor was speaking Spanish to either an black kid or a white kid, neither of whom were known to be Latino.

 **"I don't know,"** Barry admitted, making a few students react in shock. Chester would've been surprised if he hadn't heard Barry exchange a few sentences with Cisco over the past two years.

 **"Can you enlighten your fellow fashion model, oh One True Queen?"** The teacher asked as he turned towards Iris. **"You're a popular student. I reckon that you still meet the GPA requirements on top of doing community work. What's stopping you from asking one of the P.E. teachers for a nomination?"**

Barry scanned the small crowd of still auditioning students. There had to be a few who were fluent in Spanish, right? Rumors were going to spread, and those Spanish speakers would be able to say anything, the non-Spanish speakers would just trust their translations.

 **"I'm not a well-rounded student,"** Iris replied in Spanish, and a few students gasped, or at least those who didn't know about Iris' fluency in Spanish and Korean (few knew about Russian). **"I'm an athlete, true, but my academic workload isn't diverse, it mostly revolves around literature. That's typical of popular students...and typical of nerds, whose academic workloads are focused on the sciences. In contrast, teachers' pets—that's the colloquial term for teachers' favorite students—teachers' pets tend to be excellent students with a well-rounded academic course load on top of doing community work and being active members of student clubs. The only reason why popular kids get nominated is that they're the school's kings and queens. Without their crowns, they wouldn't be as competitive as the teachers' pets."**

Barry was so impressed by Iris' speech that he almost missed the point that Mr. Sherloque had just made: if Barry wanted to be eligible for a nomination, he had to branch out of his science-heavy curriculum. But...he couldn't really do that. All his remaining high school-classes were needed for him to adequately prepare for his biochemistry major in college.

And he didn't have time to join a club long enough to be recommended by the club advisor. He was already cutting down his modeling time during the weekend in order to volunteer. He couldn't sacrifice his paycheck for a prize that he didn't need.

So there really was only one option left to him, one that Mr. Sherloque seemed to offer him on a silver platter: a one-time yet impactful extra-curricular activity that wouldn't affect his school year schedule since most of the commitment would span over the summer.

 **"I've never been in a play,"** he warned the teacher.

 **"The saying is that life's a play without rehearsal, Mr. Allen,"** he replied, and Barry's heart skipped a beat when the play's director looked back and forth between him and Iris. **"But wouldn't you say that life _prepared_ you two for these roles?"**

Was he threatening to divulge their relationship if they didn't join the play? How did he even know about them?

And what kind of lousy _blackmail_ was this?

 **"He's not cursed,"** Iris objected out loud. ..meaning that she otherwise agreed with the skilled but eccentric teacher?

 **"She's smart, but not a useless dreamer,"** Barry pointed out in turn. **"And she certainly is under no threat of being coerced into an unhappy relationship."**

"Do you know why high school is such a struggle for you, dear students?" Mr. Sherloque asked his entire audience in English instead of responding to Barry and Iris' comments. "Puberty."

"Is he translating what you guys discussed or nah?" Chester whispered at Barry's side.

"I'll let you know in thirty seconds," Barry rushed to whisper back.

"Puberty makes you forget the lessons you learned during childhood," the theater teacher claimed. "And at the same time, it gives you a taste of adulthood, making you youngsters impatient to get from point A your current location, to point B on the horizon, whatever your big dream is."

"Nah, totally different topic," Barry answered his friend's question.

This was just one of the eccentric teacher's life lesson of the day.

"There's a safe path connecting A to B," the teacher claimed, "a long winding path littered with pebbles, small pieces of the total knowledge that puberty has stolen from you. One must walk it slowly in order not to miss those pebbles along the way in order to earn back the wisdom acquired during your earliest years. But puberty, again, compels most of you to take a shortcut, so instead of walking, you pubescent fellows decide _to run_ in a straight line from A to B."

"It's faster, isn't it?" Someone asked, making a few others laugh.

"It is, Mr. Grey," Mr. Sherloque answered. "But is running across rough terrain _safe?_ "

"Yo, what is he talking about?" Chester questioned.

"No idea," Barry admitted. "But we're doing this, right? I can't say no Chester...and you said that you'd try to get a role for the senior year play, I remember!"

"I was thinking about the play at the end of the year," Chester specified before letting out a resigned sigh. "As long as I'm not the Beast, man. Malcolm Hill would destroy me with a post about perpetuating the stereotype of black men being dangerous savages or some'. Anyways, it makes more sense for me to be Maurice, right? If Iris West is Belle? No offense, but it would be hard to believe that you two are _blood-related_. Even though you both speak Spanish...wait, it's supposed to be French!"

"En...en effet?" Barry tried to speak the little French he was learning in class.

He glanced at Iris, who glanced back. Why didn't she look happy? Mr. Sherloque wasn't that far off when he said that life had prepared them for the leading roles: they could both sing and had great chemistry under the spotlight. Plus, they'd get to talk to each other in public, to speak sweet words to each other and...and kiss in front of everyone.

* * *

12.

_"Happy birthday Iris...umm, you taste like cake. How'd you get everyone to leave early?"_

_"Your annoying texts actually helped me come up with the lie that I had an unscheduled meeting with Lisa Snart. Work before pleasure, and all that."_

_"My texts were annoying? It's David 'I can't take a hint' Gregger who's annoying! Why haven't you told him off? Tell him bluntly that you're not interested!"_

_"I have, but we still have to fake all the flirting. We're going to be prom king and queen next year, I explained it to you bear. He deserves it, since Tony's going to steal his homecoming crown."_

_"Steal? Tony is the best player in the team, him becoming homecoming king makes sense!"_

_"Tony is a good quarterback, true, but he doesn't have enough team spirit to lead. If everyone played like him, he'd never land touchdowns! David's the captain because he's the one bringing everyone together. He's a good leader. But of course Tony will be elected homecoming king, it's all rigged. But prom won't be."_

_"I don't like the guy, but I believe that Tony deserves—"_

_"Should I date Tony then, since he's so great?"_

_"That's not funny, Iris. Anyone but him. Even if I died tomorrow..."_

_"Don't be dramatic, bear."_

_"...my ghost would haunt him until he'd understand how much I meant to you in life. He's slow, so the whole world would know before him, but he'd get it eventually. And when he'd recognize that he'd never replace me in your heart, I'll be able to crossover."_

_"That's so macabre, Barry, don't say that! Whose emo attitude is rubbing off of you like that?"_

_"Definitely Danton's. He rightly plays Cogsworth. Not too fond of his portrayal as a depressed majordomo in this play. The Beast is depressing enough..."_

_"So don't make it worse! You're not going anywhere, and we're going to announce our relationship when I turn eighteen, okay? Your parents won't like it, but the rest of the city will. They already like us working together. Optics, remember?"_

_"Yeah. Right. Good plan. What's the plan here, right now? Clean up here then...do the dirty dance at mine?"_

_"Barry!"_

_"What? You didn't allow me to get you any gift! Birthday sex is all I've got for you! Oh, is there any cake left?"_

_"Yeah, right here...and I guess that my main objection is to doing it at your parents' place again."_

_"What? Why? Jesus, how much caffeine and sugar is in this..."_

_"Barry, I'm not welcome there. It's trespassing!"_

_"Highly debatable since I very much welcome you there. Plus, what would be the worst case scenario, if my parents caught us? My mom would faint and we'd get out of there while my dad fussed over her. But here? Your dad has a gun! He would shoot—"_

_"My dad wouldn't hurt you!"_

_"Hurt? He'd shoot me_ dead, _and your mom would help him get away with that murder!"_

_"Oh my God Barry! How do you sleep at night being so negative and paranoid? What happened to the sweet and positive Barry Allen I fell for?"_

_"He ran away, off the 'safe road'—right? Mr. Sherloque is so phony at times—and I guess he got cursed by an enchantress at some point 'cause now he's a be-ast...who's gonna eat you, mademoiselle, unless you run!"_

_"Barry! Barry noooo! Let's cleanup first, you goof! Babe, come—oh God, bear, yes, umm..."_

* * *

13.

_"I wish you'd tell me, bear...it was hard learning that from a literal stranger. All those articles about hunting down black folks..."_

_"I'm so, so sorry, Iris, I—I don't know why I thought that I could avoid telling you, it's common knowledge in Star City. I'm such an idiot, I'm sorry Iris. Can you forgive me?"_

_"If you promise not to keep any more secrets from me."_

_"Of course! That was it, I swear!"_

_"Really? What about Meena Dhawan?"_

_"What? We're just friends, Iris! I kissed her once in sixth grade? Seventh grade? I don't even remember! It was a peck on the lips, all awkward, we laughed about it and never tried again...wait, what did Meena tell you? Since when do you two talk?"_

_"She told me to enjoy the attention while it lasts, that you'll drop me eventually the way you dropped choir and chess."_

_"Damn it, I knew that the others would be bitter about me leaving the chess team for good. I resigned last week. To be honest, I've only stayed close to Chester and Cisco because they don't think that I'm shallow or a sell out for chasing 'fame and glory' by exploiting my appearance. How can I exploit my own body? And how can Meena think so little of me? I'm going to school for my acting career!"_

_"Even my parents were fine with me becoming an actress the moment I said that I was still going to college. But yeah, Dhawan said that you're taking advantage of both our good looks and the buzz we create as an interracial pair to become rich."_

_"She said that because she doesn't know that I truly love you. And you're making money too! The only people we're exploiting are those shallow enough to put a monetary value to our appearance!"_

_"That last part is almost word for word what I told her. Then she said that whatever money I make, you make much more so you're exploiting me too."_

_"That's not true! I mean in general yes, you earn less than me, I couldn't convince Len to—"_

_"See? Another secret, Barry! You didn't even tell me that you talked to Lisa and Leonard about my pay!"_

_"You're upset that I got you to earn as much as me every time we work together?"_

_"If I'd known that I could negotiate, if you'd allowed me to negotiate with you, maybe I'd earn as much money as you_ at all times? _Are you okay with me earning only seventy percent of your salary when I'm not collaborating with you? It's a vast improvement to before we started working together, but still! Am I only worth equal pay when I'm in front of the camera next to you?"_

_"I didn't say that!"_

_"You don't need to say anything, Barry! I've never needed you to say anything! Your actions speak for you! God!"_

_"Iris, I'm sorry! I thought it was the only option since Snart wouldn't change the rules for everyone. He had to tweak my contract to avoid getting the board on his back. Of course I should've told you, that's my bad, I'm sorry..."_

_"Is there anything else you'd like to tell me? Come clean now Bartholomew, or watch me ghost you when I learn that our relationship is built on more lies! No one even knows we're together, so you won't be able to call me out for it!"_

_"I...you're my first!"_

_"What?"_

_"You're my first girlfriend, Iris!"_

_"I know that, of course. You didn't officially date anyone—well technically you're not officially dating me, either! See why I'm so insistent that we...wait, Barry, what?"_

_"I-I was still a virgin when we...that was my first time."_

_"But you...you're into bondage? Beginners don't think about doing kinky stuff right off the bat..."_

_"Well, I began thinking about tying you up when I was twelve, so technically...yeah."_

_"Barry..."_

_"Sorry, I didn't want you to...I was insecure, I didn't want you to measure me up to your exes..."_

_"Barry..."_

_"But you like it, right? That's the most important! You came so hard the other day when I...umm? Umm...oh, does that...did that turn you on? Hmm? Knowing that you took my...umm innocence? Come here, Iris...what? What's wrong, why are you? Baby, hey!"_

_"Barry!"_

_"Yes, Iris, I'm right here, what's wrong?"_

_"Me too..."_

_"You too, what? Wait...wait! You were...no way!"_

_"I'm so sorry! I've been such a hypocrite talking about not keeping secrets! But I...the cheerleaders and the other models are so casual about sex, I didn't want to come off as the delicate virgin, especially when you told me about your kink and..."_

_"Jesus, Iris! Did you...you forced yourself to...? I coerced you into..."_

_"No! No, I wanted to try it, and I loved it, I love it! I love you, and I...I was so happy that you were my first. I liked Jake and Malcolm but not enough to...you know? But with you, I...and I didn't think that it was a big deal for you, I thought it was okay to keep it to myself. But it's not! Look how you freaked out just now! We can't keep each other in the dark about anything, or make unilateral decisions! No more, Barry! And you didn't even tell me about you wanting to be nominated for 'Student of the Year'! That's a big deal, bear!"_

_"I didn't think you'd care since you don't want to be valedictorian. I'm just doing it so my parents won't disown me when I tell them that we're together. The whole city will know about me by then, and even they won't be able to weather a scandal of that scale if they punish me for going against their 'beliefs'."_

_"You're their only child, Barry, they won't disown you for dating a black girl. It's not like we're getting married or anything..."_

_"Not now, but down the road...right? If you...you're not against marriage, are you?"_

_"Of course not! I want a dramatic public proposal, actually, and a big wedding because I've got a big family on both sides, and we'd be famous by then so...yeah, if we have all these famous and rich people attending our wedding, your parents won't be able to say no, Barry. Just tell them that if they get stubborn."_

_"Right, right..."_

* * *

14.

They were supposed to rehearse their lines, and they had, some, but he'd _needed_ this _._

Usually they'd do it when his parents went on dates or conferences, to be sure that they wouldn't be interrupted. While Barry's dad had a predictable schedule, his mom sometimes worked from home or came home early when events got cancelled.

But there was the block party going on, and Nora Allen _hated_ those events, so even if she finished work early, she wouldn't come home right away...especially with the neighbors' metal band playing their deafening music. Classically-trained pianist Nora Allen was guaranteed to stay away because her ears were too refined to tolerate that noise.

Barry appreciated the cover of the metal rock guitars and drums (and screams, that guy's vocal chords had to be inflamed) because Iris had been louder than usual. He'd wanted her to be vocal though, because he'd had his hand on her throat—not squeezing or anything, just holding it. He loved her neck so much...

He'd seen one of her individual pictures in a teenage girl's magazine the other day, and the one where she'd worn a choker had heated him up in a second flat. Barry had been at work, so he'd rushed and pulled up Facebook on his phone, and had looked at pictures of the CC High football team in order to calm down _._ Looking at Tony or David ruined his mood without a fault. Especially David, who was so fucking obvious about his intentions to date Iris _for real_ that it was borderline patronizing (he would've been perfect for the role of Gaston in the play). If Tony still liked Iris, he was keeping his feelings to himself at least, Barry appreciated that. Maybe he thought that Iris only dated black guys, the way Barry used to think too. 

Anyways, no one wanted to see Iris with Tony. The vast majority of black students at CC High...actually _all students_ who cared about representation were rooting for David and Iris to become a couple before the end of senior year because that would very likely tip the scale for David to be elected prom king along with Iris as prom queen. While Iris was the 'One True Queen', remaining a popular girl despite not being a cheerleader anymore, Gregger was a homecoming king material more than prom king material, but Tony was predicted to 'steal his crown' so he needed a social status boost to campaign for prom.

David and Iris were under pressure to be royals together because there had never been a royal couple of color in the history of CC High, which used to be segregated. It was heavily hinted that the few students of color who'd shared thrones with white students had been 'allowed' to, just to give 'good optics' to the rich public school. But with Iris being so popular in and out of school, people saw that change was attainable. Iris tolerated David flirting with her in the hope that their 'chemistry' would be enough to boost David's chances since of course she wasn't interested.

Barry was all for fair representation, but could Gregger keep his distance from his girlfriend during _the summer?_ The football player had visited the auditorium a few times to 'show support' to Iris, and Barry had been triggered ever since. So being alone with Iris and rehearsing the scene where the beast threw Belle over his shoulder before locking her in a room had been a lost battle. The second he'd thrown Iris on his bed, he'd forgotten his lines.

Barry's jealousy coupled with his obsession for Iris' neck had awakened the disturbing fantasy to...collar her. He'd never dare ask her to wear the real deal, God, no. He was more into ropes, anyways. So holding her neck while he helped her come with his fingers had been his only way to satisfy his urges.

They shouldn't try anything fancier than silk ties on her wrists and ankles for a while, that was for sure. They both needed to do a lot of research before getting serious about his kink— _their kink_ , because Iris clearly loved it too.

"Oh God, I think that...I think the whole block heard me!" Iris speculated before gaping at Barry when he sucked her juices off his fingers, taking his time.

Did she taste even better today, or...? Maybe it was the new lube. Only one way to find out.

"Barry, what—fuck! Umm!" Iris must have placed her hands over her mouth because her sounds came all muffled as Barry licked up her wetness, and nope, the silicone-based lubricant had a faint plastic smell but no taste that he could detect. That taste was all her.

Sitting on his heels on the floor was so far the best position to eat Iris out, at least for his neck...but it wasn't as convenient to play with her nipples, so Barry kissed his way up to above her belly button to be able to see what he was doing to her small and perky boobs.

He also enjoyed the irregular contractions of her faintly outlined abs—Iris was so deceptively strong, and flexible, and of course as a cheerleader she had an impressive balance. They should have wall sex next. But for now, back to eating her out...

"Barry, wait, no," Iris pleaded, and he stopped everything right away because her voice was cracked.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, immediately shooting to his feet when he realized that they hadn't had water at all since she'd arrived.

They couldn't afford to lose their voices while rehearsing for a _musical!_ There were only a few weeks left before the school year started and they performed the play!

"Here," he grabbed his water bottle from his desk and passed it to her when she sat up, looking so sexy in her debauched state.

Iris was always so put together, seeing her with her hair out of place and not caring about it satisfied Barry in indescribable ways. So of course his hands twitched when she started fixing her appearance.

"Hey, I probably shouldn't be having caffeine," she admitted with a much better-sounding voice, "but could I try that V9 drink everyone in the football team is raving about? You said you got a whole case from your shoot for 'Recreation', which by the way, congrats!" She finished with a little jump and tiny claps before she wrapped her arms around his neck, staying on the tip of her toes to be as leveled with him as she could with her five foot three inches and three quarters.

Iris was praying to get the last quarter so she could be average height as a woman. Literally, she'd told Barry that she prayed to God...for point twenty five of an inch. He hadn't bothered arguing that God had more serious wishes to grant.

Like giving Barry the money to buy his own place _before_ college.

Ever since getting a wake up call about his financial privilege, Barry had felt very guilty about the obscene amount of money he made as a teenage model, especially since his net worth had _tripled_ after he started collaborating with Iris. He'd turned down a few gigs that asked for him to go shirtless, not because he was underage but because it wouldn't go very well with his potential nomination for 'Student of the Year'. The paychecks for those shirtless shoots had been so tempting though...He'd think about it when he turned eighteen.

He wouldn't even need those big gigs to afford a condo. If he landed twenty more jobs with his current rate (but he'd automatically get more expensive when he turned legal) Iris could organize her eighteenth birthday party at his place, no at _their place,_ he wanted her name on the lease too.

She wanted her own studio for college because living at the dorms wasn't safe for a famous girl like her. She was sad about not getting the full college experience by rooming with Linda at the dorms, he could tell, but such was the price of fame. And Linda could always visit them, the condos that Barry had his eyes on had two to three rooms—Cisco and Chester would be welcome to crash for free now and then, too.

Should he tell Iris now? He didn't want to jinx it.

"Let's go!" Iris cheered, dropping back down to her heels and liflifting her arms in the air in a V, like the dorky former cheerleader that she was.

God, _he loved her_. He didn't care that they were still very young, he'd wait however long it took before proposing. 

Maybe in five years? He'd have saved enough for a diamond ring.

"Barry?" She called him from the door, already one leg out of his bedroom.

Her smooth brown legs in that yellow dress. How was it fair that they had to hide? He wanted the whole world to know that he was by far the most privileged kid who'd ever walked this earth. By the whole world, he meant CC High, especially _David fucking Gregger!_

Damn it, now he was angry for no reason...

"Wow, those guys are making people's ears bleed," Iris commented about the band when they walked down the stairs. "Why our side of the street, though? Ugh!"

"Hey, we endure their noise at dinnertime most days, now it's your turn," he teased with a chuckle.

His phone vibrated in his hand—he needed it close in case his mom informed him that she was on her way back ahead of time. After so many years, her incessant texting was finally useful.

Oh, it was just an Instagram notification. Why wasn't it muted?

Huh. He'd been tagged in a comment about a picture by Mr. Sherloque, who was way too tech savvy for an eccentric stage genius. Still, that shouldn't have popped up...

_**Sherloquesmarter.Wells**_ The Main Cast of this Fall's B&tB— Can you guess who's who?

_2 hours ago_

In all objectivity, no one could guess that Barry was the Beast. He looked more like a Gaston, because his smile was so smug (it was the first public picture of him standing next to Iris that wasn't work-related since...the last one definitely was from summer camp _five years ago!_ ). Chester, ever a goof, was making a face, and Iris was laughing at him. The two of them definitely looked like the leads. Nigel was standing all serious behind Iris, and rather than Lumière he could pass for Belle's father Maurice...

There were thirty comments, already? And most of them were on the same thread.

**kingofthefield89** Too many nrds on this pic, Mr. Sherloque, but can't wait to see the dress rehearsal. Steam punk is my favorite genre!

2h 45 likes Reply

________ Hide replies

**mlcentr4l** @kingofthefield89 How about you celebrate the fact that three of ours are on the main cast? Can't even congratulate your future queen? Change your name to tominthefield89, since you already threw away that crown. Woodward's merely picking it up off the grass, like he does with the ball when you mess up. I'm sure he can spell "nerds" right, too.

1h 88 likes Reply

**kingofthefield89** @mlcentr4l I congratulated her in person, something you can't do, not even online b/c she threw YOU away. Knew your condescending black a$s would drag her down and away from the throne. Ur brain was supposed to compensate for that missing e, but must be too busy compensating for smth else. Go back to FB.

42m 23 likes Reply

...okay, Barry didn't need to get any angrier by reading the rest of that pissing contest. Who'd tagged him?

** OTQsoldier  ** WHY'S NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS WHITE TRASH STALKING HER EVERYWHERE @bhallen LEAVE THE ONE TRUE QUEEN ALONE U PSYCHO!!!  


2min Reply

_ What the hell? _

Barry stared at the screen for a minute or two, and when his eyes stopped crossing, he didn't bother reporting the comment. Instead, he took a screenshot and sent it to Cisco.

Before he finished rush-typing _**"Ik Mr. Wells will flag it eventually, but can u do smth about it 1st pls?"**_ he received his best friend's reply to the shared picture:

_**"The hell was that? "Was" b/c it was gone by the time I checked IG myself. Too fast for a flag, must hav deleted it themselves. Gonna look into ur account's security b/c cnt b a coincidence u checked @ the rite time. Update you in 1/2hr."** _

He was so lucky to have an IT genius as best friend. After sending Cisco his thanks, he placed his phone on the kitchen counter. Too loudly, apparently, because Iris turned around from the fridge before even opening it.

She frowned at his hand still on the phone, which he quickly withdrew because it had been shaking for a few minutes already. But of course Iris' eyes weren't just beautiful, they were one of the many radars alerting their owner that _Barry Allen was acting weird_.

And while it seemed that for a few years they'd lost their acuity at looking into his soul through his eyes, this time they quickly guessed what was going on.

Being unable to live at the dorms during college wasn't the only price of fame, and definitely not the highest one: by far, dealing with hate messages was the least enjoyable aspect of being a teenage idol. Barry and Iris received hate mail, in their mail boxes, and most of the envelopes carried local post-office labels...but those weren't as hurtful or scary to Barry than the internet posts. Someone spending money to send a negative message was clearly just begging for attention, because if they really wanted to spit their hate they were in the right city to do it, and very little research online would point them to Central City High.

But cyber bullies? Who knew who they were and what they were capable of. But Barry couldn't let fear stop him from achieving greatness. Opportunities to get hurt weren't lacking in this country of trigger-happy people, so cowering because someone was jealous of his success was just dumb. He had money to make, a base to settle in, more plans to make and more importantly battles to fight. And he wasn't alone. He'd joined the ranks of the most noble queen's army. He didn't know yet how best to protect her because she'd always been the one protecting him for years, from ignorance, loneliness and blindness to his own privilege.

"Bear, come here," Iris mouthed more than she spoke up, and he didn't need to be told twice.

But he refused to melt in her arms like he used to when he was shorter than her. He might not know how best to protect her but he knew that he didn't need any protection from her right now. What he needed was—

"Oh, Barry!" She breathed out when he lifted her off her feet, and she quickly wrapped her limbs around him, and once he secured her head against the fridge he bent over to show some more love to that neck.

* * *

15.

"Yeah, so, if we...if we lived together, you wouldn't have to worry about affording college tuition," Barry suggested, nervous but hopeful.

Iris' eyes showed surprise at first, and then doubts, but when she fully turned back towards him, her phone forgotten, the joy that was gradually brightening her eyes was the same that was making it slightly hard for him to breathe, but in the best way possible—

"Over my dead body!" Someone promised behind Barry.

Huh?

His mom? What was she doing...

"Mom!" Barry exclaimed, instinctively placing himself between the back door, from where his mom was stomping in, and Iris. "You're...early." 

He had something smarter to say but at the moment his brain was trying to make sense of this abrupt change of neurotransmitters flow.

"Get out of my house, you...you leech! Parasite! _Disease!_ " His mom shouted, her face almost as red as her hair, her green eyes just crazy, did she need her meds? Was that why she'd come back so soon?

Focus, Bartholomew!

"Don't talk to her like that!" He reprimanded his mother, and he took a step forward, denying his body the 'flight' option—why was his brain even considering that option? He wasn't six years old anymore! He wasn't the smallest in his class. Yes, this was his mother, but he wasn't a dinosaur, he wouldn't run away...

_**Don't Run. Stay and Fight!** _

"The Lord knows that I've been patient and understanding with you, my boy," his mom declared more calmly, a perfectly manicured finger lifted in front of her face as she managed to stare him down even though he was taller. "I've tried to treat you like a big boy, but you're nothing more than an overgrown child—"

"You need new prescription then, because I'm almost a man!" He talked back, whipping his hand down in the air to encompass his body. "In less than a year I'll be eighteen!"

"And until then you're still my responsibility," she talked back. "Even after that, you will be my responsibility, my legacy! Because you're my son and I won't stand for this! _This is over!_ " She shouted again, her eyes glaring past his shoulder.

Those words and that look immediately made Barry aware of Iris' frozen presence behind him, so he turned around, and realized that his girlfriend wasn't quite immobile.

Iris Ann West, the strongest, bravest, and most composed person he knew...the One True Queen, was shaking like a leaf. It took seconds for Barry to realize that his misty eyes weren't faulty, that this was no hallucination. Iris was staring back at Barry's mom, looking very ready to bolt at the first sign of hostility.

The fuck? There had already been more than one sign of hostility! Was Barry so used to his mother spouting hatred that he couldn't tell the difference between her ranting into thin air and her verbally assaulting the love of his life?

"How much do you want, huh?" Barry must have heard wrong, and he turned back to face his mom and ask her to repeat herself, but then he saw her pull her checkbook out of her purse.

You gotta be kidding him.

"You want money to go to college, don't you?" His mom asked, sounding almost nice as she whipped out one of her fancy fountain pens. "How much do you need, huh? I can pay it all, as long as you stay away from Barry—it's Barry, not bear, you dimwit!"

Wait...

How did his mom know the pet name Iris had—oh God, how long had she been here? Had she been she eavesdropping? Why did she...

"I'm leaving."

Oh.

Barry turned back to Iris, who was already walking away!

"Iris! Iris, wait!" He pleaded, shoving a hand forward to stop whatever was about to come out of his mom's mouth.

"Yes, get out of my house," of course she still spoke up, "before I call the cops on you, thief. Real cops!"

That made Iris freeze, and Barry momentarily feared for his mother: Iris didn't practice anymore, but she'd practiced boxing for almost ten years, and she was fast and precise...Would Barry even defend his mom if his girlfriend physically assaulted her for this insulting her dad? What kind of son was he, asking himself this question in the first place?

"Mom, enough!" Barry shouted.

She was ruining everything, yet again! All the plans he'd made...

"Plans that can't take effect until you turn eighteen," his mom said.

Wait, what?

He hadn't said that out loud, had he?

He turned to Iris, who had seriously turned pale, it was alarming. Not as alarming as his mother being a psychic!

"Oh, I'm talking about that nonsense you were talking about earlier," she specified with a confused frown, and right, right, she'd eavesdropped on them, not a psychic. "Oh my beautiful boy, you're so easily-manipulated. Can't you see? She's been using you for months! To get famous, to make money...and she expected that you'd spend yours for her too! But no, _never_ , over my dead body," she repeated her first words.

Barry felt Iris move again, but he had to step closer to his mom who looked ready to assault his girlfriend this time around.

"Iris?" She called out calmly, sweetly, and Barry couldn't blame Iris for turning around because it was the first time that she'd called her by her name since finding out that she wasn't Izzy.

"Yes, Mrs. Allen?" Iris answered with an almost calm voice herself, but Barry could hear the nervousness in tone, and maybe defeat too.

Why? His mom was finally being reasonable.

"Know that I appreciate your politeness, girl," Nora Allen declared in her professional voice. "But this will be the last time that you say my name. Just like this will be the last time that you enter this house. Is that understood?"

"Don't answer that, Iris!" Barry requested his girlfriend.

"Yes," she said all the same, one syllable released with so much defeatism that it might as well have been spoken by a different person because Iris was a fighter! Why was she giving his mom any power over her?

Barry's stomach churned at the sight of his mom smiling with a satisfaction she'd never shown even after the most spectacular concert.

"Just like this will be the last time that you entertain the idea of touching my son inappropriately," that redhead who Barry had hoped for years to be his adoptive mom resumed. "As well as the last time you meet him in secret because you know that what you're doing is wrong and should be illegal—"

"Mom, what the fuck!" Barry shouted, horrified. "What's wrong with—"

"Raise your voice at me one more time, Bartholomew Henry Allen," his mom warned him in the coldest, most emotionless voice he'd heard in his life, "and I'll make sure that you won't see a penny of your money, inherited or earned, until you're twenty-five. Then you'll see how much this gold-digger truly loves you."

"I don't want his money!" Iris objected, and Barry was too paralyzed by his worst fear come true to advise her to keep quiet.

"Good, because you won't see any of it," his mom told her. "What you will see, if you don't leave in the next minute, is the full power of _my_ money. My family's money, which was intelligently and good-naturedly built by putting to work dishonest, lazy, unworthy people like you. Just like my son is doing right now: giving a worthless girl a job, out of the goodness of his heart."

In that moment, Barry was the one who felt like the most worthless being on earth: for not being able to change his mom's mind, for allowing her to carry such skewed and dangerous views about fellow human beings...because there she was, hurting the person he loved the most in the worst way.

"Forty seconds," his mom counted down, and Iris didn't waste a tenth of that remaining time to be out the door.

That left Barry alone with this woman he thought he'd known for seventeen years, but he'd been only seeing the tip of the iceberg of the cold-blooded person he had come from.

"You will attend my alma mater for college," she announced calmly as she put her checkbook and pen back into her purse. "Until then, you can keep working with that girl if you want...but you won't have access to your money until you graduate from Star City University. You're not grounded, but if I see the car of any of your so-called friends closer than two blocks away from this house, I'll call that school of yours, get their names, and file for a restraining order because you're famous now, sweetheart, and you need to feel safe in your own home."

She clapped her purse shut and looked him up and down, with the same green eyes she'd given him. The word 'monster' broke through in his head.

"I'll be in the piano room," she informed him, as if _he cared_. "We haven't done a duet in a long time, have we? I've been waiting for a good time this summer to ask you—"

"You'll have to wait until hell freezes over," Barry let her know with the same tone she'd used on Iris, using the technique Iris had taught him—not that it was challenging to imitate the person he took after the most.

His mom didn't acknowledge his words, she simply walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

16.

At work, things had been quite the same, which made returning Iris' cellphone more mundane than it should've been. That was likely thanks to their own few rehearsals on how to act right around each other when they'd started having sex together. Barry wondered if Linda started working as Iris' P.A. to keep an eye on him, to make sure that she wasn't missing something because it was clear to him that Iris hadn't told anything to her best friend. Linda Park would've been charged for assault a while ago if she'd known. At least she seemed to get along well with Cisco.

Barry made sure that Cisco's payment wasn't affected by his mom freezings his account. No worries there.

Barry started appreciating even more all the skills that he was learning as a performer of the school's play: dancing, hearing whispered words, saying words that he didn't mean with emotions, and the words that he did mean couldn't reach his heart because his heart was dead.

Unless he was touching or kissing Iris. Mr. Sherloque had to yell at him to stop sabotaging all the rehearsal sessions that involved close contact between him and Iris. Barry should've been ashamed of himself, should've at least cared about the other actors and the props and costume people watching, but he couldn't when he felt that one of his privileges was slipping out of his grasp. There were supposed to be two kisses between Prince Adam and Belle, but on the day of the performance, on the last day that Iris would allow the son of a monster to touch his lips to hers, Barry couldn't help but improvised a third kiss in order to steal a few drops of her sweet love, because it was still there: warm and soft yet passionate, because Iris' soul was too bright to hate anyone.

The third kiss made Iris mad, he could tell. Maybe she'd expected him to apologize for almost ruining the performance, but they couldn't meet in secret anymore and he couldn't trust himself with her outside of work. Barry wasn't so much eager to obey his mother than he was scared to do something he'd regret if he let himself be honest with Iris.

The most unexpected outcome of the play was Chester distancing himself from Barry. When Barry asked him why they weren't friends anymore, the reply was just as unexpected, though it shouldn't have been:

*

_"I used to think that you truly liked Iris, man, but I don't think that I was right. And it makes me question if you like any of us. I hate feeling that way: paranoid. I'm too young for that shit."_

_"Like any of...who's 'us'? The other guys of the group?"_

_"Non-white people."_

_"Ches, what the heck? How can you—"_

_"Do you know who's the most disrespected person in America is, Barry?"_

_"Chester!"_

_"Do you know or not, man?"_

_"I do: it's the black woman."_

_"...at the end of the day, you're a cool guy, Barry Allen. At times you sound ignorant, but your heart is good, Barry. I wouldn't have hung out with pale skin, green eyes and freckles if you weren't decent for sure, and that's not me being prejudiced; that's me watching over my six because most of your people are snakes man, no offense."_

_"None taken."_

_"And it hurts and makes me ashamed to say it, but lots of black guys here in this school don't have half of the respect for black women you seemed to show Iris West, until the end of the summer."_

_"..."_

_"You're not even going to deny the implication of that statement, dude?"_

_"You seem to have already made up your mind about me, Chester. Will anything I say actually change it?"_

_"I guess not, man. Sorry for not giving you the benefit of the doubt, nor a second chance. But considering the fact that I would be given neither if I were in your shoes, I think it's fair."_

_"Please. Nothing's fair in this fucking country, or in this world, for that matter."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"It will be useless to ask you what happened at the end of the summer, huh?"_

_"I wish I could tell you, Ches, but the story isn't solely mine to tell."_

_"That's what I thought. You take care, man—oh, you probably don't care at this point, but my mom always tells me that people disrespect others because they don't respect themselves. I don't see self-respect in the way you talk or walk anymore, Allen. Whatever you did, it's done. The only way is forward. From your current location to point B: whatever your big dream is. That's not my mom, that's—"_

_"Mr. Sherloque's...Chester! Thank you! I hope you'll agree to hear that story some day."_

_"Uh, you're welcome? And sure, I'm very curious about it. But for now Imma mind my own business."_

*

It took him a few weeks to find Mr. Sherloque at his busy corner of his office. Before that, reuniting with the kid who was actually more privileged and more miserable than him during the homecoming game made him openly rebel against his parents for the first time in his life. He almost felt bad watching his mother cry about the rumors that he was gay or bi, but then she ordered him to fix his head, his heart, his 'lustful' body and most of all to fix his family's reputation. Barry laughed hysterically when he got to his room, and texted Hartley to let him know that he'd stay in touch this time.

The day he found Mr. Sherloque, Barry heard rumors about Iris and David being caught kissing. That soured his mood, but didn't dim the light of his determination.

*

_"Mr. Allen! I was getting worried that you'd lost sight of your point B. How may I help you?"_

_"How did you know? About me and Iris?"_

_"I saw you on opposite pages of a teenage magazine and just knew that you were the ones."_

_"Mr. Sherloque..."_

_"Guess how I've been able to keep this favorite shirt of mine in such pristine conditions for the past fifteen years."_

_"Handwash? Delicate cycle? No, when I worked for costumes and props, that designer always made me send her stuff to the dry clean—Ms. O'Connell? You know her?"_

_"I was on my way to wish Moira a happy birthday when I saw you and Miss West engaged in the most passionate kiss I've seen off stage. You were in a car, parked half a block away from Moira's place. Not very discreet. We teachers hear everything you students gossip about, and I've heard about your parents. I only asked Moira to confirm whether or not your parents are racist, but she quite unsolicitedly provided me a summary of what she has seen of you two, who have been neighbors since you were born. Her helpful information made me conclude that you've loved Iris West for most of your young life, Barry Allen. And I must admit that, had it not been for that car kiss, I wouldn't have known that Miss West returns your feelings. Unlike you, she was the epitome of professionalism during rehearsal. She's quite guarded, isn't she? I didn't expect that from a popular student and teenage idol. I suppose that's all the more reason for her to be guarded, being famous on top of being a young black woman. That is the sad reality of our complex nation. If not for that car kiss, actually, I would've mistaken Miss West for the embodiment of the Strong Black Woman. Have you heard of it, Mr. Allen?"_

_"The Strong Black Woman trope is the systemic portrayal of black women in literature and film as extremely resilient and infallibly righteous. They're also unreasonably generous: they give and give and give some more of the little they have even when it's not in their best interest to do so. They suffer great physical and emotional pains, yet overcome all the obstacles put in their way, most of the time emerging mentally stronger from their ordeals."_

_"That was quite the thorough description, Mr. Allen, bravo! What a wonderful way to depict black women, right? Instead of the degrading images that hip hop songs show."_

_"The trope of the Strong Black Woman is dangerously problematic because not only does it establish an impossible standard for black women, but it also suggests that black women don't need respect or protection because they know their worth and even if they get hurt, they'll stand right back up and keep going. That even if they break, they can be put back together just fine. The trope almost denies their humanity."_

_"Très bien! Iris West does sound a bit superhuman, doesn't she? She's only missing a 4.0..."_

_"Iris' not the embodiment of the Strong Black Woman, she's the One True Queen."_

_"So I've heard, but to my knowledge there's no such trope in literature, film or stage theater."_

_"Because the term is new, but women like that have always existed in real life. Iris' fans are spreading it, so expect the trope to make its way in mainstream media, Mr. Sherloque."_

_"And what are the characteristics of this One True Queen?"_

_"According to Iris' fans, the One True Queen is a female leader who seizes power through the shallow avenues that society allows her to access. She thrives in traditionally female occupations and justifies her royal status as a reward for conforming to society's rules. And while society thinks that she's just a figurehead, she achieves greatness. Most importantly she works for the people, not for an abstract greater good, but for people who are willing to follow her lead. She makes sure to mingle with them from time to time or to appear relatable, which earns her their loyalty."_

_"Fascinating premise, but how would she seize power if she stays within the confines of the mold society imposes on her as a woman? Especially as a young black woman, in Miss West's case?"_

_"It took me a while to figure that one out..."_

_"...and?"_

_"It's a trick: those who don't follow her don't know, or at least don't internalize the fact that she's the queen, so..."_

_"Ah, I think that I know where this is going. Let me guess: people with greater power willingly play the knights in shining armor trying to help her, having her confused with a princess. They don't realize that when they bend the knee to help her up, they're swearing her fealty. They're too happy to help to realize that they're enabling a breach of protocol, joining an internal insurgency against the system."_

_"Something like that."_

_"Are you implying that Miss West could've easily been a 4.0 with a well-rounded academic record?"_

_"She aced her college-level math class this summer, why would a high school level science class be challenging to her? She told me that she didn't care about a perfect GPA in high school, that it's college GPA that counts. Her agenda has always been to be queen."_

_"There have been queens with perfect GPAs. A few popular students made valedictorians"_

_"They were white or Asians, not Latinas or black who aren't expected to excel in academia. She has to appear normal, to fit her mold. Plus, Iris is already athletic, attractive and making a lot of money...being a 4.0 on top of all that would've earned her more haters than admirers. Her own cheer mates were antagonizing her regardless of the GPA."_

_"Did Iris tell you that, or is this all speculation? I'm aware that you two have...grown distant. None of my concerns, since the play was a success."_

_"It's all speculation, but I'll ask her the next time I bow to her."_

_"You're one of the knights in shining armor, then? And a new follower, I suppose."_

_"I'm not technically following Iris, I already had the same point B as her before we got together, but I'm behind on the safe path to get there. I'm about to catch up though."_

_"Are you, now?"_

_"Yes, but she doesn't know that and she won't like my way of telling her because it will look like I'm sabotaging her plans."_

_"How so?"_

_"Knights in shining armors can only do so much. What if a king comes along and proposes to the queen?"_

_"Indeed."_

_"I want to be that king, but people won't vote for me against David Gregger..."_

_"That's quite right! Mr. Gregger is the people's chosen one to represent students of color."_

_"I care about representation, I do, but Iris was my queen long before Gregger first lay his eyes on her. I need the crown next Spring. But campaigning will be hard. People saw me kissing Iris, so they suspect that I have feelings for her. But if I get a girlfriend of my own, even a fake one, David won't accuse me of being a jealous brat trying to ruin his campaign."_

_"A fake girlfriend?"_

_"Not a black girl, because people will see her as a surrogate for Iris. Not a model student for that same reason. Also, people will know that I'm serious when I win the title of Student of the Year..."_

_"You believe that you can win that prestigious title from being a nerd with some volunteering work and starring in just one school play? Remember, your modeling career isn't part of the equation. I don't believe that you're worth my nomination, Mr. Allen."_

_"What? But you said...no, you never promised me your nomination. I'm the one who planned on using the musical to serve my own interests, but you_ _planned on using me and Iris all along."_

_"Enrollment in humanities courses is dwindling, Mr. Allen. You yourself only took the bare minimum. I needed to boost it, and who better to do it than two teenage idols?"_

_"You gave me false hope, but you taught me a lot...so I'll forgive you if you nominate me for Student of the Year and if you promise to help me reach point B in the future, however you see fit."_

_"I just told you that you're not worth a nomination, young man."_

_"Not on my own, true, but you must have heard about the scandal during homecoming, right? I'm not gay or bi, but I made friends with an openly gay student, the sole heir of Rathaway Industries. I have no access to my own money right now, but I'll ask Hartley to have his mom sign a big check to renovate the auditorium. And maybe this room too. It's too cramped."_

_"That will guarantee you my nomination and future help, but not the title."_

_"When does the jury actually decides on the winner?"_

_"Mid-April, mere days before our prom. Why?"_

_"I'll turn eighteen next March."_

_"Congratulations. And that helps you, how?"_

_"Will you nominate me?"_

_"You had me at 'the sole heir of Rathaway Industries'. Rachel Rathaway has donated to other schools before, she's known for her generosity...oh."_

_"..."_

_"That crown that you want, it's more symbolic than anything isn't it? You already sound like Miss West's equal."_

_"I am called the king of the nerds, after all."_

_"I've heard that too. Where did that title come from, do you know?"_

_"Iris' best friend."_

_"Linda Park, of course."_

_"You know her?"_

_"She's taken most of my classes. She wants to be a movie director, and she confessed that it's partly because her best friend wants to be an actress. That confession was told after I confronted her about filming the play with her phone camera. She said that you and Miss West's chemistry was too good not to be immortalized."_

_"Now I'm getting paranoid...but that's a worry for another time. Thank you for your nomination, Mr. Sherloque."_

_"Good luck, Mr. Allen!"_

_"Winning Student of the Year or getting elected prom king?"_

_"Reaching point B. You're on the safe path now, but you strike me as...a runner. Careful, don't get off the road rushing into things."_

_"I don't think I can help it, Mr. Sherloque. It feels like I was born to run. Any advice on ways to slow down?"_

_"Pertinent question...jog in place?"_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"Thanks."_

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> # No kidding, Barry 🤣🤣🤣 Puberty is bizarre, y'all, so I hope that my portrayal of young teen Barry doesn't come off as too unrealistic. I've portrayed him as 'precocious' and into kinky sex before but hopefully this isn't repetitive.
> 
> *Multiverse: equivalent of Universal Studios. Let's say that it's in Metropolis.
> 
> **not saying that being pale is bad, but Iris was only dating black guys back then, that's why Barry was thinking that way.
> 
> #Claro (que sí) = definitely, of course, agreed.
> 
> ¥ I can't remember who's the genius amongst WA authors who has a fic in which Iris tells Barry that the tattoo that Sherloque guessed she removed was actually a lightning bolt from her early days of having a crush on the Flash. If you know please share!
> 
> %медвежонок = "cute", using the diminutive of the word "bear", so it conveys the idea of "cute like a (teddy) bear". It's used for children or bear cubs, so it sounds patronizing to Barry, who's neither.
> 
> $Barry Double = Barry White, the disco and soul singer. His songs are 🔥
> 
> Сильнее = harder.
> 
> Par ici = Come here (literally: this way)
> 
> радуга = Raduga = rainbow
> 
> En effet = indeed.
> 
> Très bien = very well/very good


	11. Break Me Down And Build Me Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **PLEASE READ**
> 
> I'm sorry friends, I don't like this chapter as much as I wanted to, but I need to let it go and move on to the last one. Thank you all for your patience! Please read below before moving onto the chapter itself. 
> 
> 1) I _heavily_ edited the last section of Chapter 10 almost a day after I posted it, in case you were early last update. You probably need to skim through last chapter in its entirety to refresh your memory anyway because it's been so long since I posted it 🤣🙈
> 
> 2) There are only two foreign words in this chapter: медвежонок = Russian for "cute" (kids and bear cubs) or '"teddy bear", didn't mention that last chapter; second one is 아줌마 = Korean for "aunty", it refers to Linda's aunt in particular.
> 
> 3) PLEASE NOTE: **Section 9.** here is a direct continuation of last chapter's section 9; **section 11** here is a direct continuation of last chapter's section 13; and **section 12** here is in parallel with the end of last chapter's section 15.
> 
> 4) Section 15 is a fast-forward to the filming of the wedding commercial. It happens maybe 1-2 hours after the "present time" in Linda's POV.
> 
> I don't know why I can't remove all that blank space around the Tumblr posts in section 7. It's making the chapter look longer than it actually is!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Half of what Lisa Snart says is B.S. Don't take life lessons from her lol.
> 
> Also, in case section 1 is too subtle: #justiceforbreonnataylor

1.

"Mama, what are you doing?" Iris asked her mom from the tiny open space of the ajar door, slowly pushing it more widely open so she could pop her head inside the master bathroom.

Francine West was a lawyer, and Iris knew that she had a big event happening tomorrow: a trial! At a real courthouse, like in the movies! So she was probably practicing her fancy words.

But why was she also making faces in front of the mirror? Shouldn't she go to bed early?

"Oh, hey sweetheart!" Her mom replied, meeting her gaze in the mirror's reflection before turning around. "I thought that you were asleep? Want me to read you another story, hmm? What about 'Awesome Breonna?'"

Uh-oh.

Iris had passed it to Barry just today. She had sneaked the book into her dad's car the evening before, knowing that he'd be the one dropping her to school next. The back seat of her dad's car was always full of folders and those big yellow envelopes—it rhymed with vanilla? Yes, _manila_ —so hiding the flat but big book had been easy (it was too big for her school bag, which her parents always checked anyways). On the way to Carmichael in the morning, Iris had stuck it to her back in a funny way, her skirt keeping it in place. 

Iris had trouble sleeping because she was nervous about Barry's opinion of 'Awesome Breonna', which was the book that had helped her the most when she'd learned to read and write. Barry read as much as she did, but he read books with a lot of difficult words and 'Awesome Breonna' had very simple words. But Barry had loved watching Umka, and it made Iris so happy! Since Aunty Sasha had moved to Russia after finding her blood family in St. Petersburg's, there was no one else that Iris could speak Russian with face to face—her mom used to speak it well, but not so much lately. Barry was learning the language very fast, even though he didn't speak it often.

(Barry and Iris didn't speak much with each other anyways. They didn't need to say many words to understand one other.)

"No, no story, thank you mama," Iris refused the offer politely. "But why are you making faces? Is it for the trial?"

"I'm not making faces, honey," her mother corrected her as she invited her in with a wave of her hand. "I'm rehearsing for my trial."

"Rehearsing?" Iris repeated after fully entering the room. "Like an actress? Why do you have to pretend? Dad's friends...um dad's colleagues, they gave you the evidence! The trial is _real!_ "

"Yes, sunshine, I have all the evidence that I need," her mom confirmed, then stared at her for many seconds.

Iris tilted her head to the side as she saw her mom tighten her jaw then look to her left. Then she nodded with a small smile.

"The evidence makes me very upset, baby," Francine admitted as she walked closer to her daughter to fix her scarf. "It makes me want to cry, but I cannot cry during a trial."

"Why not?" Iris asked with a frown, looking up at her mom. "You and dad always tell me that it's okay to cry when I'm upset. It doesn't mean that I'm weak or that I'm an idiot!"

"Of course it doesn't, sweetie," her mom agreed before crouching down to look her in the eyes. "For children, and for anyone actually, but for adult it's more...acceptable to cry in private. In public, it's not a good thing when adults, especially adult women, are seen crying. And even for girls like yoj...but it's okay to cry, whenever me or your dad or Charz are with you."

"But not when you're not there?" Iris asked, trying to understand what her mom meant.

"Oh, sweetie..." she seemed confused herself? No, she was trying to 'dumb it down' for Iris, because Iris didn't understand many big words. "It's better to keep your emotions for yourself, if you can. It's okay if you cannot, but we're your family and we can understand you better than anyone else, you know that, right?"

"Yes mama," Iris agreed with two nods.

Barry understood Iris too. He understood her very well, sometimes better than even Charz! Without Iris having to say anything!

"And we can make things better when you're upset," her mom added with a smile. "I know that you have friends and that your teachers are nice, but...please always come to us first, baby. We love you the most, and we will always help you. _We know_ how to help you. Your friends are too young to know. Your teachers are adults too, they should know how to help, but they have many other children to take care of, so they cannot always give you all the time that you need. Does what I say make sense, sweetie?"

"Yes, mama," Iris confirmed with a nod. "It's okay to cry when I'm with family, but if I can I shouldn't let other people see me cry, not even my friends because they are too young to help me. And my teachers don't, oh, cannot, not always, help me. So it's better to cry with just you, mama, daddy and Charz...and the rest of the family when I see them during the holidays!"

"That's right, beautiful," her mom replied with a big smile, brushing her hand on Iris's cheek. "I know that, sometimes, there are mean children in school..."

"I _never_ cry in front of mean people!" Iris quickly asserted, remembering parts of her safety steps. "They will think that I'm weak even though it's not true, and they will try to hurt me!"

"Exactly," her mother approved. "And sometimes you cry not because you're hurt, but because someone else you care about is hurt. It's normal to cry when they cry, it's called being compassionate. Not everyone does it, but I do, and your father does too. You probably don't remember, but at the daycare you would cry when some of the other young children cried first. That's because you're such a wonderful, compassionate girl."

"Com-passion...nate," Iris repeated slowly, smiling when her mom approved the pronunciation.

"Being compassionate, or showing compassion, is okay," the lawyer continued. "You can cry with the people you care about, you're a child. But for us adult it's better to cry in private, with few people watching, but not so much in public with many people watching. It's not so good to cry especially if we can do something more useful to help the one who is in pain. That's why I'm rehearsing, sweetheart. The bad guy I'm prosecuting hurt a woman and she's the one who suffered. She will also be in the courtroom, and she will definitely cry when her turn comes to testify. Even though I feel sympathy, that's another word for compassion, but it's not as strong as compassion. So even though I feel sympathy for that lady, I cannot cry in front of many people in the courtroom because I'm supposed to help the lady get justice. She's counting on me to speak clearly to the judge and the jury, but it's hard to speak clearly when you cry. So I'm training myself not to cry when I think about her or about the things that the defendant did to her. That's why I'm rehearsing."

"Oh," Iris reacted quietly.

Her mom kissed her forehead.

"Sorry, sunshine," she apologized before she stood back up and ushered Iris out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. "That's a lot of serious, adult problems that I shouldn't tell you about when you're supposed to go to bed. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Okay, mommy," Iris automatically replied, even though she wanted to talk more about it.

"I love you Iris. Goodnight," her mom whispered after tucking her in and giving her one more kiss on the cheek.

"I love you too, mama," Iris returned, blinking when the lights were switched off in her room.

She didn't sleep right away. She thought about what her mom had said about not crying in public, even for the people she cared about.

It made sense. Barry often cried when he fell or when the mean kids tried to push him or when Tony was saying mean things about Iris. When that happened, Iris always felt that she shouldn't look sad with him when the others were watching. Especially when Tony called Barry a crybaby! So instead of looking sad when Barry was hurt, Iris looked _mad_ and stared at the mean kids and they stopped laughing. 

Iris wasn't an adult, she knew that...but she should never cry in public, especially if Barry cried first. She didn't need to show her compassion for him, right? They were getting better at reading each other's thoughts, so he could guess by just looking at her when she was sad for him!

Iris was a bit worried that he would be able to tell that she liked him, more than the other kids. It was normal, they were _best friends!_ She should like him best. But she felt shy letting him see, especially when he did something that made her heart beat too fast. It was silly, she knew that, but she couldn't help it. Anyways, Barry could count on her to be useful when he got hurt, instead of crying useless...ly? Uselessly.

Yeah.

* * *

2\. 

" _Barry!!_ " Iris screamed, her throat hurting because she said it so loudly while also running towards him. 

Margot was already by his side, but she was crying. She wasn't supposed to cry for Barry, not in front of so many people! She was an adult!

Iris almost started crying when she saw her best friend's arm, so she looked away from it, and she instinctively tightened her jaw, the way her mom did in the mirror so often nowadays. Her dad also did it, she'd noticed, when the two of them talked about cases together.

Oh. Oh, the tears weren't coming anymore. It worked!

"Barry, Barry," Iris called out, forcing her voice to be calm when she kneeled next to him in front of the climbing wall.

The big one, the one for the older kids. He shouldn't have climbed it! It was Iris' fault: she'd climbed it several times just fine before. Barry had probably wanted to do the same...

Charz was asking for an ambulance on her cellphone, sniffing a little bit, but not like Margot who was crying harder than Barry now.

"Charz is calling the ambulance Barry, help is coming!" Iris told her best friend, who probably couldn't hear anything because he was in so much pain. But maybe he could hear, he was getting quieter—

She realized that him sobbing less wasn't a very good thing because he started sweating and his eyes weren't looking directly at her anymore. His skin was paler than usual and he started shaking...

That was _bad!_ Iris had seen it in the movies. Barry knew the word for it, his dad had told him! She couldn't remember, wait, yes! He was 'going into shock' or, or having a panick attack! Either way, that was really bad. She had to do something!

But, what?

"Barry, stay with me!" She repeated the words that people said on TV in those situations, leaning back to give him 'room to breathe' and she grabbed his good hand as distraction from the pain. "Barry, I'm here! It's Iris, can you hear me? Barry, look at me!"

She had to use her mom's trick again because she _really_ wanted to cry. His arm! Was it broken forever? It was his dominant arm! How was he going to write in class?

"Ir-Iris," Barry said, his voice quiet. Too quiet.

Was he breathing?

_Was he breathing?_

Iris dropped his good hand to lift his shirt and see if his chest was moving. Or maybe he was hurt somewhere else?

"Iris!" Barry cried, making her startle.

"Yes!" She replied when her shock passed, taking his good hand again since she'd dropped his shirt.

Maybe she shouldn't have looked underneath his clothes without asking for his permission? But she wanted to make sure he wasn't hurt more than what she thought!

"Does it hurt any—" she started asking, but got distracted by his face. "Your skin..."

He looked better! He was a bit red, but that was normal when he cried.

Iris relaxed a bit even though Barry squeezed her hand too hard. But he wasn't shaking so much anymore.

"Barry, help is on its way," Charz said as she crouched next to him and Iris.

She looked at Iris and smiled encouragingly. That meant that Iris was doing the right thing, right? She was being _helpful?_

Iris made the mistake to look at Barry's broken arm, and she almost cried, but she held on.

She was shaking more than him, now. She was so scared. Her best friend was hurt!

"Barry," Iris whispered, hoping that talking would distract him, and distract herself too. "Barry I... I'm a bit scared. You're hurt."

No!

Why did she say that? Even Charz looked at her weird. It was so stupid! Of course he was hurt, he knew that already! He was _feeling it_ right now!

But Barry squeezed her hand, not too tightly this time. And he tried to smile at her, she could tell, but that wasn't easy to do when crying.

"It-it's okay...Iris!" He told her between hiccups and sniffles. "I...my dad al-always says...w-we children! We heal, fast, faster than adults...it's just my arm! Don't...don't be scared!"

He did better when he tried to smile again, but tears were still running down his nose and ears, and both Iris and Charz had to stop him from moving around.

"The beads in your hair are nice," Barry said out of the blue, very fast, then he made a face and sniffed, his cries quieter because he kept his mouth closed.

"Aww," Charz said, and even Margot came closer, and the two of them smiled.

They shouldn't smile! Barry was hurt!

"What do you say when someone compliments you, Iris?" Charz told her.

Oh. Right!

"Thank you Barry!" She replied softly.

She knew that he liked her hair, he'd been staring at it a lot this week. Well, she also liked the way he looked. So she should tell him, right? He was in too much pain to guess what was on her mind.

"Your Star Wars t-shirt is really cool!" She returned, even though she actually wanted to say that his eyes were beautiful, but he was crying, that was stupid to say right now.

"It's too bad that it's all dirty now," she added when Barry groaned in embarrassment, because duh, he was ashamed that he'd ruined his shirt. "But clothes can be washed, anyways!"

She couldn't tell if Barry actually laughed with her, or if Charz and Margot did, because she heard sirens.

The ambulance!

* * *

3\. 

"You never cry," Linda said from the kitchen door, almost to quietly, with a watery voice.

They were watching the news on the TV at 아줌마's restaurant. It was about the info on the conviction of Maya's neighbor.

Maya was Iris and Linda's classmate. She (had) sat right behind them. She was very quiet unless Iris talked to her, then she was very talkative and passionate and she had dimples when she smiled.

And she chatted Iris on Facebook messenger. A lot. She never missed to tell Iris how she found her smart and strong and brave, and sometimes Maya made jokes about the times back when Tony would bully everyone and Iris would stand up to him and even 'defend Barry Allen'.

If only Maya knew how sometimes Iris wished that Tony or someone else would bully Barry again, just so she could defend him, talk to him face to face because right now they only talked via texts...

But Barry had other friends now, so they would be the ones defending him, not Iris. She wasn't his best friend anymore. He...

She couldn't even tell him about his tattoos, or about _her tattoos._ She felt so silly for marking her skin permanently just for him, just to try to communicate with him, when it wasn't even possible because he didn't want to see her in secret anymore. Charz had been very upset about it, even though she'd gone with Iris to get the tattoos, and she'd even told her that they should go to her friend's parlor to renew the UV ink. She didn't trust Sean because he'd revealed information about Barry, whom Charz said had broken Iris' heart and didn't deserve to have his name on her skin.

Barry still cared about Iris, though? That's why he'd tattooed her name on his shoulder, right? Sean had even said that he'd been supposed to write another 'formula' but he'd changed his mind and put C6N2P4N instead. So he still cared, but maybe not as much as Iris cared about him? And why wouldn't he tell her about the tattoo on his shoulder? Was he waiting for her to ask him? But he was the one who'd stopped asking her to meet at the playground, or in school. Iris wouldn't even mind if they didn't talk, they could always text. But in person they could...hold hands? She'd liked it that one time they'd had to hide in the janitor's closet. They'd been super quiet, and Barry had grabbed both of her wrists. And maybe if they met in secret now, they could...kiss?

Oh...

She was such an idiot, thinking about kissing Barry when she should be thinking about Maya!

Three months ago, Maya had told Iris about her neighbor on Facebook messenger. She'd said that he was touching her inappropriately, that it had been going on for a while, but Maya was too scared to tell her single mom, who asked the neighbor and his wife to watch over her when she worked night shifts. They did it for free, it was so kind of them, Maya's mom had repeatedly say so, so Maya didn't want to upset anybody.

Iris had told Linda too, she could keep secrets, and the two of them had figured out that recording the neighbor would give proof that she could give to her mom. Iris used the money from her lemonade sales to buy a recorder, lying to her parents that it was to listen to lecture after class in case her notes were incomplete. She'd passed the recorder to Maya, but it had taken Maya a whole month to find the courage to use it. But _she'd done it_ , and she'd told her mom, and they'd gone to the police.

(Iris' parents had hugged her hard a few days afterwards, and had told her that they were so proud of her for helping her classmate. Of course they would figure out that she'd been behind the idea of the recorder!)

Now the neighbor was going to prison for a very long time.

Iris felt terrible for wondering if he would've even been arrested if Maya was Black, or Latina, or Asian...because the neighbor was white, and oftentimes Iris' parents complained about white criminals not being arrested or being given shorter sentences than other criminals.

"Hey, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing or anything," Linda added with a nervous laugh as she wiped her tears and adjusted her apron. "I used to cry a lot, remember? I think that I got better thanks to you, you know?"

"It's a trick," Iris confessed, un-clenching her jaw as she turned away from the TV. "It's all fake, Linda..."

"Iris! Oh my God!" Her best friend exclaimed when she saw her cry.

She was frozen for a moment while she watched Iris sob—in relief! She was so relieved for Maya—and wipe her tears but it was useless, they kept coming. Once Iris started crying she cried _hard_.

Then Linda stepped away from the kitchen door and walked close to hug Iris, too tightly for her to be able to keep crying. Good. She could always count on Linda to help. But that hug was really too tight!

"Linda..." she whined, and her best friend jumped away from her.

"I'm sorry! Sorry!" Linda apologized, tears running down her face too, but she wiped them away and no more came down. "It's just...I'm so sorry, Iris. For saying that you never cry. I didn't know. I thought...sometimes I...sometimes I wonder if, you know?" She stuttered, clearly embarrassed by whatever she was thinking.

"If Black people are tougher than everybody else?" Iris guessed her, chuckling when Linda blushed hard. "We're just more...resilient, maybe? Some of us, not all. We're just like everybody, Linda."

Iris used to wonder herself. Everywhere she looked, it seemed that Black folks were louder, tougher, faster, than everyone else. More talented, smarter and way cooler, but Iris probably thought that because she was Black too.

But her parents and Charz had told her that Black people only looked that way compared to others because _they had to_. If they wanted to stand out, if they wanted to receive compliments—Malcolm said that they didn't need no one's approval, though—and awards and medals...they couldn't be average, or be just a little better. They had to prove that they were 'unequivocally' the best, otherwise they would be judged for being dark-skinned, and for having kinky hair or wearing weaves, and for being overweight. People said that Black folks were all lazy, violent and poor...and others looked down on them or hated them for characteristics that weren't even true.

Dark skin protected from the UV rays! And yeah, Iris' hair was very coily, and when she got older she wanted try weaves, even though her mom was against it.

Her mom said that God didn't make a mistake when he gave Black people their special hair. Her parents had told her that the weaves came from Asia or Brazil where people hated Black folks, they hated anyone of African descent and the people who sold the weaves wanted to exploit them all, and people of African descent kept giving them their money like fools, just to have their hair look like Asians and Brazilians, and that was because famous or rich Black women wore them too! Everyone wanted to have good hair. Iris' mom said that Black women could just press their hair if they wanted it straight.

(Iris might ask for a flight iron for her fifteenth birthday, then! She wanted to have good hair when she started high school, because she was going to be a cheerleader! Cheerleaders always looked nice. Iris was already learning how to do makeup.)

Anyways, Iris wasn't overweight, and her family was middle class, and she wasn't lazy: she was a good student and she had two hundred and forty two dollars in cash. She'd earned all that money herself by selling her own lemonade! That was entrepreneurship, not laziness. She was a good person, she knew it, she tried to act right like her parents had raised her to...but _Barry's mom hated her anyways._ Ah, well, she used to hate her. They hadn't seen each other since third grade. 

Iris had been so shocked when she'd seen the way Mrs. Allen had looked at her the very first time that they'd met up close. Barry had told Iris that his parents said that she was pretty and smart and refined, so she hadn't listened to her parents' advice to stay away from them. She'd been so stupid back then!

Barry's mom had looked at her almost the same way that Barry looked at Tony when he was angry about the things that Tony said about Iris to the other kids.

(Tony liked Iris, she knew that. Well, Charz and her mom had told her that. According to them, he was showing all the signs of a boy who had a crush on a girl. Iris didn't care. She liked Barry then, and she liked him still...she more than liked him now, actually.)

But Barry's mom had looked even angrier at Iris than Barry had ever been at Tony, and even though Mrs. Allen had the same eyes as Barry—was that why Iris could read her thoughts, too?—she had looked meaner...

So Iris had stopped following Mrs. Allen and Barry, and the way that Mrs. Allen had...had she smiled? Iris couldn't remember anymore, but she remembered thinking about the cruel bad guys in movies and TV shows.

She'd understood a little bit more what racism was that day, and she'd cried a lot in her room that night, when she'd thought that her friendship with Barry was over. All because of the color of her skin? It wasn't fair!

Later, when Barry had asked to stay friends in secret, he had explained to Iris that his mom had thought that he was telling her about Izzy...Izzy Bowin, right? That's the only Izzy that Iris knew. And that was why Barry's parents had complimented Iris from afar: because they'd thought that she was white. 

Barry himself had confirmed that his mom and dad were racists. He'd seen the tells that Mr. Johnson had told them about. He had been so sad and ashamed, of _his own parents_. This wasn't fair to him, either!

Iris was sad that she and Barry didn't meet in secret anymore, because sometimes it had felt nice to be alone together, just the two of them.

She should've kissed him during that last summer camp they'd gone together, the night when they'd sneaked out to watch the lunar eclipse. But Iris had been worried, because of Barry's tattoo. Why had he put those stupid words on his skin? Did he want to run again? From who: her, or his parents? She should've asked him. She should've explained why she'd written the words on his cast. She'd thought that he'd understood! But he hadn't even guessed that his parents were racists...

*

_"Have you ever wondered why we never played together until we started school?"_

_"Yeah."_

*

He hadn't figured it out until a year later, so clearly he hadn't understood about her reminding him that running away was not the right thing to do, even though he was the one who had made her understand that. It had been a few days after he'd told her that he liked awesome Breonna, who'd run away when things got tough, just like the runaway dinosaur ran away when he was upset. But Barry hadn't run away when Tony's friends had been nasty to them both:

*

_"Run Barry, run!"_

_"No! I'll fight with you. I'm not scared!"_

*

He'd been scared, just like Iris, but as long as they were together...

Anyways, Iris was okay now, even if Barry didn't want to see her in person anymore. They saw each other in school, and texted some, but they didn't talk face to face.

She was sincerely glad that some of Barry's new friends weren't white! That meant that he wasn't becoming like his parents, right? Even though he looked more and more like his mother. Which was a good thing, Iris supposed, because Mrs. Allen was beautiful. But only on the outside. Barry was beautiful _inside and out_. He was very smart too. And he was growing so tall, Iris was jealous because she wasn't growing much herself, everyone had caught up to her, except maybe Linda. But growing fast made Barry fidget a lot in class while he tried to fit his long legs under his desk.

Like Malcolm, who was gaining a lot of inches too. Malcolm was smart and good-looking, like Barry...just _differently_. Being different was okay, Iris had known that all her life, but she needed to remind herself often. Sometimes she wished that she hadn't been born Black. She didn't want to be white, no! Maybe Asian? Korean, like Linda and her family. Linda was beautiful inside and out too, and...she made friends more easily than Iris. She was a better person than Iris.

Iris only had Linda as a friend, and she'd thought that she had Maya too, but Maya was moving out of town, because what her neighbor had done to her wasn't all over just because he was going to jail. People all over this side of town were talking about Maya and her mom. Even in school everyone talked about it. So Maya's mom had decided that they needed a fresh start. Maya hadn't come to class this week...she would never come to class again. She had explained everything to Iris on Facebook messenger. That had ruined Iris' mood all week, and Linda had had to defend her from the other kids who thought that she was acting superior.

Barry had stared at Iris in class yesterday. He'd seemed worried about her, and Iris had tried to ask him to meet after class, in ASL...but he didn't know ASL, did he? She hadn't taught him. She didn't know that much herself anyways. What was the sign for after, already? She'd ask her dad later. He was the one who'd learned ASL first, because he hadn't liked depending on interpreters when he asked questions to people who were deaf. He'd wanted deaf people to trust him, and they did now! Iris' mom was learning ASL now, so Iris had started learning with her, just like for Spanish. Linda hadn't seemed very interested in learning even the alphabet, so Iris hadn't insisted sharing with her. Would Maya have liked to learn?

Maya had promised to stay in touch on social media and via texting, but Iris knew very well that it was unlikely that they'd become close friends that way. Like Barry, Maya would make new friends and have less time for Iris, and she would be too far away to connect with her the way that Linda could. 

So now Iris only had Linda. And Linda was enough. Linda was amazing and Iris loved her like a sister, and Linda's family liked Iris. 아줌마 had made her a sushi buffet when Linda had told her that she'd helped Maya. It was supposed to remain a secret! But Iris was weak for sushi, so.

"You are stronger than everybody our age, Iris," Linda's voice brought her out of her thoughts. "I know that I couldn't have helped Maya if I were in your shoes. Even if we'd figured it out together, my aunt doesn't even give me my money. She says that she will give it all next year! So I couldn't have bought a recorder for Maya."

"I would've bought it for you, Linda!" Iris reassured her, smiling back when her best friend beamed at her.

"See? You're so awesome!" Linda complimented her. "Seriously, Iris...you're amazing. Helping people, like your parents! You should be president, no, no, _governor!_ Don't go live far in D.C.!"

They laughed, then Iris helped her with the dishes.

It was still five thirty in the morning on Saturday. Iris had stayed over with Linda at her aunt's place, and the night before Linda had skipped washing the dishes so she and Iris could watch a Korean drama before bed, with hangul subtitles only! Iris was so proud of her progress!

But yeah, Iris and Linda had woken up early to do the dishes, before her aunt came to the restaurant from her place in the back. Iris had switched on the TV searching for a music channel, to have a pleasant background noise while they scrubbed and wiped. That's when she'd seen the news about the conviction of Maya's neighbor, and she'd called Linda to see.

Iris hoped that no one knew about Maya's sad story wherever she was now (Maya hadn't said and Iris hadn't asked). She really deserved that fresh start.

* * *

4\. 

"Come on, Iris," Jake whispered after he stopped kissing her and leaned away, then touched touched his belt. "Just head, okay? It's not real sex..."

"It is!" She corrected him, then lied a little, "and it's gross!"

"No it's not!" He argued with a laugh, then he removed his hands from his pants and lifted her skirt.

"What are you doing?" She asked him, not too worried.

She liked when he touched her thighs and her butt and...down there. That was fine.

"I'll eat you out first, okay?" He suggested, licking his lips too obviously for it to be sexy. "Then you'll see, it's not gross...okay? You're interested?"

"No!" Iris refused, stepping away from him.

"Wait, what's wrong?" Jake reacted, confused and yeah he sounded upset. "All the girls love oral! I'm sure you'll love it too!"

She knew that she would love it, she could feel herself getting a little wet at the idea, but ...

Jake wasn't the one she was imagining kneeling at her feet. Oh God, this was _so wrong!_

It was all because Iris had watched that porn video shared in the cheerleaders group chat on Facebook. It was a compilation of clips, showing guys licking women down there, and...there had been one clip of a dark-haired white guy eating out a black woman, very enthusiastically. And it had made Iris think about Barry...about _him eating her out._ And ever since, whenever Iris thought about sex...

She was such a terrible girlfriend! A terrible person! Barry probably had a girlfriend himself! He'd said that he was over his crush over her.

A 'crush'! All the while Iris had stupidly _fallen in love with him_ , and she couldn't fall out of love because he was so smart and funny, she could tell even through the fewer text messages that he sent her, and from his social media posts. And he was getting more handsome every freaking day, and after hearing his voice from up close, Iris felt like she heard him all the time in the hallways, in school and at YC...

And now she was horny, fantasizing about him eating her out, right in front of her actual boyfriend... _ugh!_

Barry didn't deserve her pining after him! After he'd told her that he was over her, she'd stopped renewing the UV tattoo with his initial and birthday in normal letter and numbers. The lightning bolt in Morse was discreet, even Linda hadn't noticed it. Iris herself only noticed sometimes when she put body lotion on.

No one knew about her feelings for Barry, except Charz, and it made Iris so upset that she and Barry had never even kissed...

"Sorry Jake," she apologized, tightening her jaw and looking to the side. "I'm just not ready yet. I'm sorry."

She was grateful when he didn't insist and said that it was okay.

However, after that, making out with Jake was so unsatisfying because she kept comparing his terrible jokes to Barry's witty comebacks to bullies on social media, and Jake wasn't as studious as Barry, nor did he seem to respect everyone equally...

Iris could tell that Jake wasn't satisfied about her behavior either, and Iris was torn between being hurt and being furious that he always made comments about rumors that Joan had been caught blowing basketball players, or dancing dirty on Tony at a party...

So right on Barry's sixteenth birthday (that was so lame!) Iris asked Jake if he wanted to break up with her. He'd done it in a heartbeat, saying that he'd only put up with her because she was a cheerleader.

 _That_ enraged Iris, and she had used her mom's trick because she could tell that Jake had expected her to cry. No crying for boys who broke her heart!

Iris was so mad that she immediately shared the news of her breakup as well as Jake's hurtful words with her teammates on her group chat, and they got mad too.

Iris knew that complaining about the male athletes wasn't a good thing to bond over with the other cheerleaders, but at least she wasn't an outcast anymore.

As soon as Iris told Linda about Jake, Linda confessed that Ian had asked her out, but she decided to wait before saying yes. Iris felt bad that her terrible first dating experience was making Linda hesitate. Ian was a good guy, even though Iris was always judging him for smoking. She'd warned him that her dad was a cop, and at least he'd promised to never smoke in front of her.

Iris ruined her own mood even further that evening by forcing herself to wish Barry a happy birthday by text...then by she asking what his fun plans for his birthday weekend were.

She was an idiot.

 _ **Thanks! I'm going to the Multiverse,**_ he texted back.

Wow. The Multiverse? Talk about an epic birthday present!

 _ **That's great, Barry! Have a blast!**_ She wished him, mildly jealous.

She wasn't that much into themed parks, but who didn't want to go to _the Multiverse?_ It was the largest and most epic attraction in the country! Only a few were ranked better in the world!

Maybe Barry was paying for his own entry ticket, who knew? He earned much more than her for the same job. She had given up on talking to her boss, Leonard Snart, after she'd heard that he was stingy and that he didn't care about wage equity since the turnover was pretty high at YC.

For Iris, some money was still better than no money at all. Her parents wouldn't let her get another job, not even at 아줌마's restaurant. They claimed that Iris had 'too much going on in school' already, so she shouldn't have to commute far for work. Good thing that she'd decided on keeping her GPA at 3.5, or they wouldn't have let her go anywhere except school, home and the library!

They insisted that getting student loans was the most straightforward way to pay for college tuition, and that it would force her to choose her major wisely. That way, she'd pay everything off with the salary of a well-paid stable career.

Yeah, well, she wanted to be _an actress,_ so that wasn't an option.

She couldn't start her life as an adult with debts, but what else could she do? She was smart, but so 'financially uneducated'. She wanted to build good credit while getting her higher education in the most straightforward way. Was it really too much to ask?

She stared at her phone, her fingers itching to share her worries with someone. Linda couldn't understand.

The money that 아줌마 had promised to give her when she was fifteen? It was a con, but in the best way: Linda was born the beneficiary of a trust fund that would pay for her college tuition and housing! Linda's entire family had contributed to it while her mom was pregnant. That was so nice! So Linda was only working at her aunt's for the sake of knowing what 'hard work' was, because her parents had a negative view of a movie director's career: they thought that it was just about saying 'action' and 'cut'! Their ignorance was kinda cute.

So yeah, Linda's future was secured.

What about Barry's? Why was he so casually spending his hard-earned money for Comic-Con? Was he fine with student loans? CCU didn't offer full rides, otherwise Iris would've gone full teacher's pet.

Instead, she was making all these compromises to be a cheerleader. She'd always wanted to be a dancer or gymnast, and cheerleaders were both. She didn't like following the stupid social rules that all the students agreed to follow, but...she wouldn't get the chance to do whatever she wanted once she became an adult. So even though Joan and her clique were annoying and the male athletes triggered Iris' danger alert all the time, she was enjoying being able to put on a show at every football or basketball game.

"Oh," Iris blinked when she realized that Barry had been typing a reply all this time.

Ah, he probably had stepped away from his phone after starting the text and had just returned to it, because the only thing that he sent was _**Thank you, Iris.**_

* * *

5.

* 

_"Hi Lisa, I'm Iris. How are you doing?"_

_"Busy, darling, so make it short."_

_"I'm a new model and I haven't_ _had a shoot yet..."_

_"I'm sure that Mick got you scheduled soon, don't worry sweetheart. Come back if you don't hear anything from us in a week, alright?"_

_"Oh, I know that I still have another week with props..."_

_"So what's the problem, honey? One second—Mark, can you have someone check on those shoes? Thanks—uh-huh, what were you saying, hun?"_

_"My wage as a model is twenty five per hour, but I just heard that Ruth is getting thirty eight! We're both transferring from props to modeling..."_

_"One second, hun. Ruth, Ruth, Ruth...ah! Let's see. Oh. Oh, Hello darling. Wow, you are one pretty girl. Gorgeous! I'm glad that you're giving modeling a shot!"_

_"...thank you for the opportunity! So...there was a mistake? For my wage?"_

_"I'm afraid not, hun. Ruth is five foot nine."_

_"Oh."_

_"So she's a proper model, more professional. Photographer's muse material. And you...are you even average height?"_

_"Terry himself was the one who told Mick to make me a model. He must have seen something in me..."_

_"Potential, he saw your potential. And you've got plenty of it. Goodness. What's your name again?"_

_"Iris."_

_"Iris! Let me grab your file. Iris, eh? I think that's the prettiest name I've ever heard. Flower names like Rose and Lily are overused, but Iris? Gorgeous."_

_"..."_

_"That's a compliment, sweetheart."_

_"Th-thank you, Lisa."_

_"But as beautiful as you and your name are, you won't amount to much if you don't put in the work. Modeling isn't just about looking pretty."_

_"Of course, I know that! I'm here to give my best—"_

_"Is that right?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"I don't believe you, at least not yet because I haven't see any of your pictures yet."_

_"Yet you decided not to believe me by default...I mean! I'm confused, that's all."_

_"Oh, you've got fire! I like that! You know what? Here, fix this, and I'll believe you."_

_"My schedule? Umm...what should I fix? It looks just like how I wrote—oh. I'll add more hours. Thank you, Lisa."_

_"Of course, sweetheart."_

_"...here."_

_"Much better. Forty dollars per hour is more appropriate now."_

_"But, that's more than Ruth now! You said..."_

_"Will you tell Ruth? "_

_"..."_

_"Be sincere, hun."_

_"I'd let her know that she might negotiate for more, that I heard rumors..."_

_"Do you think that Ruth would do the same for you? Tell you if there was an opportunity to climb up?"_

_"..."_

_"Well?"_

_"I...I'm not her, I wouldn't know..."_

_"What a diplomatic way of saying 'hell no', which is the correct answer. I'd like you to drop that social justice warrior attitude you have going on, at least when you're working for us. The Strong Black Woman behavior has never served anyone in the show business, darling, believe me."_

_"The Strong Black Woman behavior?"_

_"Do yourself a service and look it up when we're done here. But let me give you a piece of advice, beautiful."_

_"Oh...um, thank you Lisa. That's so nice of you."_

_"...two pieces of advice: first, work on that tone of_ _yours, I can tell when you're sincere and when you're not. Secondly, stop fighting for what you want."_

_"Excuse-me?"_

_"Normally, Black girls need to be extra careful, and pretty ones like you definitely should be extra alert, but you already got your suspicions hat secured on your head. Good. At first I thought that your limited schedule meant that you weren't serious about modeling, but now that I'm looking at you properly...you're an athlete, aren't you? And a 4.0? No, no, athletes who are also teacher's pet don't have time for something as frivolous as modeling."_

_"It's not frivolous...oh."_

_"Yes, hun, I was just being sarcastic, but thank you for confirming that you respect the industry. So you're a smart one, a real smart one, and crazy beautiful to boot, and you're only...oh sixteen? You got a baby face. When you learn to do your own make up, look up tips on how to age yourself, sweetie. Yes, yes, I know that we have makeup artists here, but I don't know how to glamorize Black women, so they don't know either. Those extra two dollars per hours are actually for you to get your own makeup because I'm afraid that sponsored makeup brands don't even have your shade. Mick should've told me! Now look at me scrambling. Where was I?"_

_"You were explaining why I shouldn't fight for what I want?"_

_"Right, right. I can tell that you're an outstanding girl, Iris, but you're working too hard to prove yourself. I'm likely the last person to talk about social justice, but I don't believe that Black people should beg for recognition from the majority. As a white person I find it undignified."_

_"..."_

_"Don't beg, don't ask, take what's given to you and—"_

_"White people ain't given us anything but misery and death for centuries! How dare you!"_

_"The abolition was pushed by the Quakers, darling. They were whites."_

_"Those were the very few good white folks who were willing to help!"_

_"I resent the implication in 'very few'. There were a lot of good white folks even back then, they were just too conditioned to do things the way they were supposed to be done. But there are way more of us who are like the Quakers nowadays, willing to be a little rebellious. I take it back, we don't really want to rebel against anything. We just want to be part of something great, something above us, skin color be damned. Racism be damned. When you recognize a good cause, a real good one, you gotta contribute to it. To do that, you gotta ignore what your head and your heart tell you, Iris. You can't trust those two because they're conditioned by society and fantasy, respectively. The only part of our 'mind' that we can trust is our gut."_

_"I...my parents tell me that all the time."_

_"So does my brother, and here I am. You probably think that I don't deserve my position, don't you? No, that's alright, because you're right in a sense. I didn't work very hard for it. And no, my brother didn't hand it to me, someone else did. Young City wasn't always ours, even though Central City believes so. And while Len is the big boss for all our ventures, he's just a figure head for the agency. Everyone who's been here long enough knows that I'm the one who runs this place. You didn't know, but you hoped that another woman would be sympathetic to you, right?"_

_"Yes..."_

_"Iris, look at me. Good job for not crying, by the way. I've said pretty upsetting things to you, and you haven't shed a tear, or screamed. Well done. If you can fix that tone of yours, you might very well have what it takes to be a big name some day."_

_"I'm learning already...I'll fix my tone. I'm going to be an actress. A famous one."_

_"Good. Don't forget us when you make it big. Because you will make it big, sweetheart, as long as you stop fighting for what you want."_

_"You keep saying that, 'for what you want,' but what if I want to fight for others? It's not all about me—"_

_"..."_

_"I'll figure it out."_

_"Atta girl."_

* * *

6.

"Oh," Iris heard behind her. "Hi, Iris."

She knew that voice, and she was afraid to turn around, but she had to, he was the popular one here, and people were watching...

"Hey Barry," she greeted back with a forced smile that didn't look forced because she'd practiced it. "Where's Cisco?"

Damn it.

Had that come out rude? She wasn't jealous of Cisco. Not at all. He was Latino, yet Barry hung out with him all the time, _publicly_ , and they even gave each other rides, even on their bikes. Iris had seen Cisco drop Barry right in front of the Allens' house.

Yet for years, Iris had to...no, that was in the past, she was over it. She was! And anyways, Barry and her weren't even friends anymore. Not like that. So.

"He's working on his project for the Twin Cities Science Fair right now," Barry answered normally, because she'd asked a normal question.

Yeah.

"To be honest, I think it's because Laurel's in Midway City right now," Barry added with a smirk. "Being able to see her is the only reason why he's my P.A."

Iris wasn't charmed by his one-sided smile. _She wasn't_. Anyways he only looked that great because...umm, no, he didn't have makeup on...whatever.

"Ah, your hair in the special edition, it was a wig, right?" He said out of the blue when they started walking again. "I wondered if you'd had to cut your real hair for those bangs. They don't make me cut mine, so...um...you look nice! I mean, as always, right? I can't tell if those are your own clothes or if you're already dressed for the shoot...sorry, I'm rambling."

Iris was _not_ charmed. Anyways, she had a boyfriend. Malcolm was the one who counted. She wasn't going to make the same mistake she did with Jake by comparing him to Barry.

Malcolm was a bit 'old school', so he didn't like that Iris was a cheerleader very much, or that she was a model, but he said that he respected her hustle. Although he didn't believe that she'd be able to pay for college with a part-time job, he admired her initiative to be as debt-free as possible when she graduated college. She hadn't told him about her plan to become an actress, and that was fine because she didn't want to dive in too deep too fast like with Jake. She liked Malcolm, a lot, she'd admired him since middle school, and he was teaching her Jamaican Patois...but she didn't like the fact that he was always fighting on social media with David Gregger, a player on the football team.

Iris thought that David was a cool guy. He was one of the few male athletes that didn't make her feel extra alert when she and the other cheerleaders hung out with the boys because he wasn't super tall and big. He was a halfback, just a few inches taller than her, with a lean built. He had no quarrel with anyone except Malcolm. Everyone else liked David.

Malcolm wasn't an athlete, but he worked out some so he was tall and broad, almost exactly like Iris' dad. At first she'd thought that she'd get used to his intimidating physique quickly, but really at times she had to force herself to accept his hugs whenever they made up after a fight, no an argument, no... _a debate_. Yeah, Malcolm liked to debate, mostly about Black History or Pan-Africanism, and he praised Iris for being able to keep up with him most of the time. He often reminded her of the reasons why he'd asked her out: she was pretty and smart, but most importantly for him she wasn't a diva like most of the pretty Black girls at CC High. He thought that Iris' personality was a rarity 'nowadays', and she had stopped correcting him that it wasn't true.

"Are they?" Barry's question made Iris blink in confusion as they reached her assigned dress room door.

"Sorry, can you repeat the question?" She requested as casually as her embarrassment allowed.

Hey, at least she'd been daydreaming about her boyfriend, right? That was normal. Iris was confident that Malcolm was the one who would cure her of her infatuation for Barry.

"The clothes you have on right now, are they your own?" He rephrased patiently, and she looked down to pretend looking at herself when she caught his...appreciative gaze. "They suit you well in any case, Iris."

"Thanks, Barry, those are mine," she replied with a sincere smile this time. "But you can tell because I don't have any makeup on," she added while shaking her hand in front of her face. "I don't know if it's the same for you, but I always get my makeup done first so that the products don't accidentally fall on the clothes.

"Oh, right!" He reacted, blushing a bit. "Sorry, I'm probably wasting your time. You're ready to get your makeup done first, then?"

"Yeah," Iris confirmed with a nod, placing her hand on the door handle. "I'll see you around? Are you done for today?"

"I am, but...yeah I am," he answered while rubbing the back of his neck, sounding uncertain.

It was none of her business, Iris knew that. They weren't friends, and she had a boyfriend, but...she would've asked if he'd been another model, right? It was common human decency...okay, maybe not, Iris was a 'compassionate' girl, whatever, so yes if she would've asked another person—

"You are, 'but...'?" She prompted him as she opened the door and walked in, feeling the wall with her fingers to the left to turn on the lights. 

Ah, this one had a nicer vanity. Bigger mirror. Nice.

She saw Barry's reflection frowning a bit at the room, and shuffling his feet.

"Come on in, Barry," she invited him against her best judgement. "The stylist won't be here for another...half hour, I think."

"Oh, right, you're early!" He guessed, then asked more quietly, as of to himself: "are we all supposed to come in this early? No one told me..."

For five minutes or so they remained in a semi-awkward silence, while Iris took out her makeup products and Barry inspected the room. They both blinked when Iris switched on the very bright lights all around the vanity mirror.

"Woah," she breathed out, and he said "yeah that was my reaction earlier in the other room, it's just like this one. I've never seen myself so clearly, I swear."

Iris chuckled before taking a seat and taking out her makeup brushes.

Then she heard a ping, and saw Barry take his phone out of his jeans pocket. Whatever message he read made him smile from ear to ear.

Probably his girlfriend.

Barry hadn't told her anything about dating, but there were rumors circulating at YC among the female models...some had made him sound like a player at first, but lately the rumors claimed that he was a nice guy? So there had to be one girl he'd settled for. To think that he was still treated like a blushing virginal nerd in school! Anyways, it was none of Iris' business.

"Hey Iris, I have to go!" Barry announced cheerfully. "Cisco's bored by his project and he asked me to help! I didn't even know that I could still sign up for the science fair!"

"That's great, Barry!" Iris replied automatically, pausing in opening her foundation when Barry put his phone to his ear, waving at her absentmindedly.

He'd never called her on the phone, when they were still...Anyways, the past was the past. She was over it.

"Hey man!" Iris heard her once best friend greet his current best friend as he walked out of the dress room. "Dude, no, it's cool! You're saving me, actually. My mom's working from home all week...I know...yeah, I'm done with work! Coming to you in..."

Iris stared at the now closed door.

Ah. He'd meant to say: 'I am done, but I don't want to go home because my racist mother is there.'

* * *

7.

"Remember when I said that you should be president?" Linda asked while she typed super fast on her phone.

They were enjoying an exceptionally warm winter day at the park, walking and sometimes jogging and Iris practicing a few stunts. Iris had glared at Linda when the latter had taken out a pack of cigarettes. She'd accepted not to smoke if she could give into her social media addiction for five minutes. Iris had allowed it.

"You changed it to governor so I would stay in Central City," Iris recalled as she came down from a scorpion variation of a handstand, slowly dropping into a crossed-legged position on her exercise mat by her tote bag. After taking a quick sip of an unsweetened homemade lemonade, she gave in and grabbed one pack of thin mints. There were ten more in her bag.

A group of girl scouts had recognized her in the streets, so of course she'd bought a bunch of cookies from them. They'd even asked for her autograph! Iris was still a bit shocked.

She received fan mail, sure, and she'd had to open a secondary Facebook account, a group page for her new fans to interact with her because she'd maxed out on her number of friends on her personal account. Still, she hadn't been called out in public like that. It was surreal!

"If you're the One True Queen, you can live anywhere you want," Linda proposed.

Wait. What?

"I haven't yet replied to Janet about campaigning for homecoming queen next year," Iris pointed out. "Really, everyone's going ahead of themselves here. I'm quitting the cheerleading team at the end of this year, who would vote for me? And anyways Joan has been telling everyone that she'll campaign, I'll have to—"

"Then be the prom queen," Linda advised as she joined her on the grass. "It's good practice for later on, anyways. But, here..."

She placed her phone in front of Iris after grabbing a thin mint. Iris frowned at her screen: Tumblr? she didn't have an account there yet, and she might never have one. She was hesitating to even open a Twitter account. All these new social media platforms were only user friendly for specific make of phones and Iris couldn't afford to buy a new one just to be able to interact with her fans on all of them. So she stuck to Facebook.

**tcfsisaiditfightme**

Is Iris West yet another Strong Black Woman or is she the

One True Queen we've all been waiting for? What's her 

account here?

🔁 **lostindapark**

What's a One True Queen? Iris is only on Facebook for

now, I think. She might get a Twitter account, though!

🔁 **pinkfash10nista**

Damn it, I'm not on Facebook. I'd like to know about SBW

vs OTQ as well. Never heard of the second one, and I

didn't see anything about it when I looked it up.

🔁 **tcfsisaiditfightme**

Follow back!

"Did you follow them too?" Iris asked Linda. "Cheesy username, by the way."

"Whatever, Your Majesty!" Linda drawled before going into her private messages.

> **cfsisaiditfightme**
> 
> The One True Queen is almost the opposite of the Strong Black Woman even though at first sight she looks like her: righteous, strong-willed, stoic in the face of adversity. But unlike the Strong Black Woman who fights all her battles alone on top of fighting for other people's battles, all in the attempt to break free from the system of oppression, the One True Queen doesn't fight. She doesn't challenge the status quo, at least not overtly. She stays in her lane, as they say, doesn't exceed expectations, yet climbs the social ladder and people let her do it because they don't even realize that she's seizing power left and right. What makes the One True Queen a 'true queen' is that she uses her power to help other people, people who can't help themselves, and those people rally behind her and she mingles with them now and then because they're her mental support even though she's the only one who can do what she does because she's up there with the powerful people.

"That's...impossible?" Iris argued, even though she felt like she should know someone like that. "How is society going to let that woman just seize power? And how is she going to seize power if she stays in her lane. It's contradictory!"

"Here," Linda offered as she scrolled down the conversation.

> **lostinthepark**
> 
> Give me an example of a One True Queen, because this sounds straight out of a fairytale or something.

> **cfsisaiditfightme**
> 
> Felicity Smoak! Nerdy girl who got small roles in all of the school plays because she'd always dreamed of being an actress but wasn't delusional that she was protagonist material with her glasses. She knew that her gift was in IT so that's where she put all her energy. Yet she got offered a small role in a rom com by her classmate's boyfriend, who happened to be Oliver Queen's best friend! Now she's famous, because she kept accepting all these minor roles that no one was supposed to pay attention to, but her talent shone through and now she's a Hollywood actress majoring in Cyber Security! 
> 
> **lostinthepark**
> 
> Err...Felicity Smoak is a white woman? Of course she had white men handing her small bits of their powers until she had her own. Iris is Black. She can't just wait for some pervy old white man who fetishizes her to hand her anything like some...that's too disrespectful to even conceive! Good discussion, but really your OTW theory is just some reverse-feminism sh*t that only works for middle-class white women, yet again, because their male counterparts are the big bosses, period. Like all the other Black women before her, like all the other women of color before her, Iris is gotta have to fight her way up, so sit tight and cheer her up from the sidelines. 

"Well said," Iris approved her best friend's message.

"I mean, technically you could be a one true queen," Linda claimed as she snapped her flip phone closed. "You kinda meet the criteria, you know? But I don't think that you'd be okay with my suggestion on how to seize power."

"Then please don't tell me what it is," Iris replied with a shrug, but then squinted. "How do I meet the criteria, though?"

"'Doesn't exceed expectations yet climbs the social ladder', and 'uses her power to help people'," Linda quoted. "You're literally maintaining your GPA at 3.5 so that you don't look like the perfect girl who's exceptionally smart and pretty..."

"What, like you?" Iris teased, but not really.

"I'm Asian, I'm allowed to be smart," Linda countered. "Plus I'm not perfect: I smoke. Good thing that my aunt does too. My parents think that it's her fault that I'm addicted to nicotine now, but they've forgiven her because she's showing me what 'true hard work' is..."

Right. Linda had taken her smoking habit from her now boyfriend Ian, and the 'true hard work' story was really funny. Not for Linda, of course, because she was still helping her aunt run her restaurant for no pay.

Iris didn't feel envious of her best friend. It was great that Linda's college fees were already taken care of. And of course Linda deserved her money: she was the most amazing person that Iris knew! Plus, she worked _super hard_ at her aunt's restaurant, doing the job of three employees at times. Whenever she had free time, Iris helped her and 아줌마. Linda had offered to share her place with her in college, but Iris had pointed out that living at the dorms was Linda's best option if she wanted to take advantage of the campus' equipment for her filming projects. And Iris couldn't live on campus...

"Hey, how did we make this about me?" Linda complained. "I was talking about you meeting the criteria of the one true queen. So yeah, you're not exceeding expectation by being a perfect student on top of all your attributes, which is such bull, Iris. You could've been the first Black female valedictorian of CC High..."

"I don't want to take advanced science classes just for the sake of a GPA," Iris pointed out.

"What, like me?" Linda echoed her words from earlier. "With those GPAs above 4.0 nowadays, I might even have to take some college-level statistics class next summer. Ugh. At least I have room for all the classes I need."

"I didn't want to deal with the pressure of being an excellent student," Iris explained not for the first time, "and I know that I'm lucky that my parents don't have the same strict expectations as yours. We'll take that college-level math class together, okay? But anyways, none of the cheerleaders have perfect GPAs. They're high, but not perfect. I didn't want to stand out. Can you imagine how much harder I would've had to fight to fit in—"

"What? What, Iris?" Linda questioned her when she froze up.

Wait, that sounded like what Lisa Snart had told her, didn't it?

_"Stop fighting for what you want."_

_"Don't beg, don't ask, take what's given to you and—"_

'Take what's given to you and...' what? Iris had been so impulsive interrupting Lisa then. But it had sounded like this One True Queen thing, right? Not fighting for what she wanted, not struggling to gain power because _somehow,_ someone would give it to her. Because—

_"There are way more of us who are like Quakers nowadays, willing to be a little rebellious. I take it back, we don't really want to rebel against anything. We just want to be part of something great, something above us, skin color be damned. Racism be damned. When you recognize a good cause, a real good one, you gotta contribute to it."_

People would grant power to the One True Queen because they would believe in what she stood for! And with the power that her influential supporters gave her, the One True Queen would be able to get what she wanted...and then she would be able to _fight for_ _other people,_ not for herself!

"Well, I haven't helped people yet," Iris argued out loud.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Linda reacted sharply, then scoffed. "Thank you for reminding me of the second point that made you fit the criteria of the one true queen. You inspire people on social media! And you concretely help other students every time you raise funds for the school! And volunteering?"

"That's mandatory stuff, Linda," Iris reminded her. "Some teachers' pets are so active in the community that they receive awards..."

"Well, they're not trying to pay college out of pocket!" Linda countered. "And hey, you helped Maya! How's she doing, by the way?"

"Great, yeah, we chatted on Facebook Messenger a few weeks back," Iris let her know. "Looks like she'll be a valedictorian, she's acing all of her classes. She's embarrassed about being a teacher's pet, I can tell. But I'm not surprised. She's very smart and she's into community service. But...Maya came to me, Linda. I didn't campaign to have all the abused girls in the school come forward or anything."

"You still helped put a monster in jail, at fourteen years old!" Linda insisted. "And didn't you recently force your boss to max the starting wage for all new models?"

"I did it because I felt guilty!" Iris explained. "I'm technically still a new model, but ever since my collab with Barry I've become popular with the brands and now I'm making as much as the girls who've been there for years!" Iris explained. "The tall and blonde ones too! Plus, getting the max wage as a newbie allowed me to buy my own makeup and practice with it. I've heard other girls complain that the foundations don't always match their skin tones, or that the makeup artists aren't nice. Even the white girls! I didn't have to struggle through that because Lisa gave me...okay, I'm weirded out by my own words now."

"Yeah, that just now sounded like what that other person on Tumblr said, right?" Her best friend agreed. "Also, let's not forget that Janet offered to basically run your homecoming queen campaign for you, exactly because she thought that as a 'regular GPA student' should have time for a campaign. Condescending, but whatever."

"But, Joan..." Iris reminded Linda.

"Right, right, not homecoming queen, _prom queen_ ," Linda corrected herself. "Don't give Joan a reason to hate you, that bitch is so petty—"

"Linda!"

"—that I wouldn't put it past her to 'make you pay' for it years later, during a school reunion or something," she finished her sentence. "But prom is fair game, no one can claim dibs on it or rig it like homecoming. Iris, I know that we wanted to start things in college, but..."

_When you recognize a good cause, a real good one, you gotta contribute to it._

"At times our school feels more segregated that I ever expected from it," Iris reflected out loud. "If I can make a symbolic contribution to inclusivity...Malcolm said that it would be a great idea not just for the school, but that it would strengthen my college applications."

"For once I agree with that civil rights talktivist," Linda mumbled.

Iris sighed, ignored her best friend's jibe at her boyfriend and chewed on a thin mint.

Linda hadn't liked Jake either. She kept telling Iris that she deserved a boyfriend who would _love_ her, not just like her. Linda was saying that because Ian loved her, it was clear for anyone to see. So it was normal that Linda wanted the same for Iris.

But Linda was a much better person than Iris. She didn't have feelings for a boy she wasn't supposed to think about when she touched herself. She was such a terrible girl! She didn't deserve to be loved.

"Since I won't have to worry about cheer practice anymore, I can get more involved in school without losing hours at work," Iris reasoned, then decided. "Alright, I'll do it. I'll campaign for prom queen."

"That's my girl!" Linda exclaimed, almost knocking the Girl Scout cookies off Iris knees when she gave her a tight side hug. "I mean, 'hail, Your Majesty! Long may you reign!'"

"Shut up!" Iris scoffed. "I wonder who will be the king that Janet will reach out to. Will he be Black too? Maybe Latino? Asian-American? Native American would be great, right?"

"Or white," Linda said with a shrug.

"What? No!" Iris disagreed immediately. "Why would you say that?"

"Isn't that the point of desegregation: have Blacks and Whites shine together?" Linda asked as she inspected a thin mint.

"The school has made students of color share the spotlight with a white student for Homecoming already," Iris pointed out.

"And we all know that Homecoming is kinda rigged," Linda argued. "But prom? That's the people's vote. Never been a mixed royal couple there."

"Because the majority of white students vote for a white king and a white queen!" Iris explained.

"But they'll vote for you this time," Linda followed up. "Because they like you. You know who else they also like, and who already has the title of king?"

"Linda, no," Iris deadpanned.

"It was worth the try," her best friend quipped before chewing on the Girl Scouts cookie...

Cookie!

Iris remembered who sounded like a One True Queen: none other than the legendary Amaya Jiwe! She was the first Black woman to be nominated as Best Actress at the MAA for her role as 'Cookie' in 'Underground', which was actually a remake of another movie Iris had never watched. But Amaya's version was the classic now! Miss Jiwe had only been seventeen then, she was only twenty three now yet was amongst the top fifty best paid Hollywood actors, males included! She'd won a few prestigious awards, but no MAA.

Iris remembered reading that, though she was undoubtedly one of the best actresses of all times, she would've never made it to the top without her then agent and now ex-husband, Nate Heywood. A white guy. He was a well-known producer and kept working with Amaya when given the opportunity, which might explain why she was always seen on mainstream television.

Maybe Lisa was right, that there were more good white people around willing to contribute to greatness. 'Racism be damned'.

* * *

8.

6:52 AM

_**They published it!** _

_**David Singh saw it and posted it on Twitter ,and now everyone's seen it!** _

_**It looks good, actually, but you know?**_

7:09 AM

_**That tweet is going viral. We're getting a raise, right? We better get a raise!** _

7:32 AM

_**Iris, can we meet? Can you get to school early?** _

_**Not like before, just to figure out what to say to the others, right? Your boyfriend might not like it.**_

8:02 AM

**_Doesn't look like you're reading my texts. See you after class? Text me whenever._**

**_Please._ **

Iris clicked her tongue at Barry's text messages as she speed-walked to her locker. She'd overslept, but by cutting off her hair styling time, she'd made it to school on time. She'd tucked in the two French braids she slept with, improvising a protective style that she'd glamorized with purple flower-shaped hair pins. Some clueless girl had shouted that she liked her 'real hair', as if Iris had ever worn anything but the hair growing out of her scalp in school. She only wore wigs for work! 

She had no idea what the 'it' in Barry's messages referred to for now, since she was still half asleep. There was no way that she would have accepted to meet him in secret on school grounds anyways. There was no such thing as a 'secret meeting' _in high school!_

Frankly, Iris should stop seeing Barry in secret at work too. Well, their meetings were only secret to Cisco, really, when Ramon could actually make it to the shoots.

Secret meetings aside, Iris _loved_ working with Barry. They had their mojo back, so to speak: they were communicating without needing to speak again, though they actually used words in front of other people because no one needed to know the secret of their 'chemistry'.

"Can we talk?" Malcolm's deep and commanding voice broke through the thin fog of Iris' mind while she delicately transferred the books she needed for periods one to three to her backpack.

Okay, she was fully awake now.

"Good morning to you too," she deadpanned, forcing herself to close her locker door with extra gentleness, because she'd been tempted to slam it in exasperation.

She didn't want to deal with the guy she didn't know why she still dated, not so early in the morning!

Malcolm didn't love her, and _he never would,_ and Iris felt dumb for thinking that he could make her forget Barry.

He was condescending, _so condescending_ that she could never fall for him anyways! She'd almost thrown her smoothie in his face last week, when he'd congratulated her for 'finally coming to her senses' and deciding to quit cheerleading. He'd even asked her if she was quitting modeling too, and had started making all these plans about a field trip during the summer. He planned on 'taking her' to historical places around the state that were relevant to Black History. She'd been to most of the places he'd listed, more than once!

Malcolm didn't even act like a boyfriend with her most of the time: he didn't hug her hello unless she asked for it, he didn't like holding hands, and he was a great kisser but again she had to make the first move and he was annoying with his 'no PDA' rule when they literally saw each other the most in school, a public place!

Instead, Malcolm acted like some activist group leader who wanted to groom a 'strong black woman' that could stand by his side: always 'debating' about the role of Blacks in society, even tagging her in grownup discussions on forums or social media. Of course Iris was passionate about those topics, but could she enjoy her youth? She wasn't a Strong Black Woman! She was going to be a One True Queen!

"How's a negro's morning supposed to be good with this?" He challenged before placing his phone in front of her face.

Twitter, _great,_ what were people saying about her again? Posts on that new social media platform were as virulent as Marburg...wait, what was Marburg again? A virus?

Huh.

She'd gotten that expression from Barry, hadn't she?

Anyways, what was the offending post about?

Oh.

OH.

**Icannotsing** @Davidsingh . 2h

#cutekids #YoungCity #JittersCC #CentralCity #wegottalent

I just had to show support to local and upcoming talent! Credits say that these two are Barry and Iris. The clothes by @onshoreinc look great, and round of applause to @terrydccc for capturing the young models' candor. They look like a true couple, don't they?

@yccentralcity gained a new subscriber in me, and I need you guys to buy the new edition and promote this teenage wholesomeness! Also, someone please tag Barry and Iris to this post if they have accounts here!

💬382k 🔁25.3k ♡533k Share

Neither Iris nor Barry were on Twitter, but they had official fan accounts there, which sounded so crazy. Mick Rory at YC was even in touch with the admins of those accounts!

Under David Singh's text was a very good phone picture of the magazine picture of Barry hugging Iris from behind, both of them posing in profile with their heads turned to the side to look at the camera. Iris' head was tucked underneath Barry's chin.

They were both smiling, and looked very...cozy. They'd had pictures where they looked comfortable before: one standing with an arm propped on the other's shoulder, or where they were standing back to back or where they were leaning against the same wall with less than a foot between them. But _this?_

Barry had his hands on Iris' stomach, and her front arm was bent backwards to have her curled hand propped against his shoulder in order to draw attention to the Onshore Inc. logo of his jacket. Although it wasn't fully visible, it was easy to guess that Iris' other hand was grabbing onto Barry's arm on the same side.

Barry was right, the picture _looked good._ It looked much better than Iris had imagined it would turn out. Had they photoshopped Barry's face? He'd looked so pale when Iris had agreed to let him hug her. It was insane that no one could tell that they had followed Terry's directions to smile right after a stressful moment!

*

_ "Fuck, fuck!" _

_ "Language, Bartholomew! Hey, you're supposed to be in the front! Why are you so fidgety? Barry, what are...oh! A spider. Is it me or is it hairy? Eww. Wait! Are you still...?" _

_ "Yes, very! I swear it gets worse every year...kill it please?" _

_ "It's moving away, Barry. Let's stay put, you know how Terry gets." _

_ "I can still see it! It's coming this way!! No, no no! Oh fuck, I think I'm gonna faint..." _

_ "Barry? Barry! Come here, give me your hand!" _

_ "Can I hug you instead? Not too tightly, but...it used to work back at camp, remember? Oh shit, it's still there! Someone kill this—" _

_ "Barry! Oh my God...okay, okay, come over...that works too, I guess. Cisco! Cisco!" _

_ "Yeah, yeah, what? Uh...what are you two doing?" _

_ "The spider! There, no, there! Yeah, get rid of it! Quickly, before Terry..." _

_ "Before I do what, darl—oh, that's cute! Wait, wait, don't move! Alright, now look here!" _

_ "..." _

_ "Barry, this way!" _

_ "He can't right now, Terry. One moment please? Cisco, come on!" _

_ "I'm against killing animals that I can't eat, West." _

_ "Barry's got arachnophobia! He's gonna faint if you don't get rid of the damn spider!" _

_"...didn't know that arachnophobia made people hug other people's girlfr—"_

_ "CISCO!!!" _

*

Iris was bit annoyed that neither Terry or Mick had respected her and Barry's wish to exclude that pose, though now that she remembered the shoot she was more annoyed at Cisco. He'd kept on making underhanded comments about Barry hugging her. They'd been very professional for the rest of the shoot, _as always!_

But, with _David Singh_ posting the picture? Iris wasn't annoyed anymore.

She was actually excited now, because she and Barry were sure to get a raise when the Tweet blew up on the internet. It was already blowing up! Onshore Inc. might even ask for the two of them for their next collection—

"Iris?" Malcolm's irritated voice brought her back to the unpleasant reality of...boyfriend's jealousy.

"I didn't read any offensive tweet so far," she played coy, "scroll down?"

"It's _the picture_ that's offensive!" He expectedly complained. "What the heck, Iris? Allen's got his hands all over you! And that Indian actor even said that you two look like 'a true couple'! _Everyone_ is gonna see this!"

"David Singh is from Central City, so he's American, or Indian-American _,_ " Iris corrected him. "And 'everyone' knows that it's just a picture. We're professional models!"

"Wait, that's _our_ David Singh?" Malcolm asked, turning the phone screen in his direction, blinking in awe. "Yeah, all the Central City tags, my bad..."

He was probably re-thinking his opinion on her modeling, now that a respected local celebrity had said something good about it.

"But that pose crosses the boundary of professionalism, West!" Malcolm resumed the argument. "You're _underage_ models, they can't make you act all lovey-dovey like this!"

Okay, Iris could admit now that her hug with Barry looked intimate. Maybe Cisco hadn't overreacted.

At the time, Iris had mostly been worried about Barry fainting, then she'd oddly felt nostalgic about touching him like that again after all these years...smiling for the camera had been pure professionalism though. She hadn't actually enjoyed that moment while it happened, and she was certain that Barry hadn't either. The rest of the shoot had been great, as Terry had finally allowed them to express themselves and pose however they saw fit for a few dozens pictures. 

Terry had been the first photographer to work with the two of them, and he was usually very controlling and a neat freak. He had a bit of a diva attitude, which made most models scared of him and Iris was no exception. Maybe he'd been less strict that one time only because he'd been sympathetic to Barry's incident with the spider. 

Iris looked at the picture on Malcolm's phone screen again, and now she felt bad. What about Barry's girlfriend? She wouldn't make a big deal out of this like Malcolm, right? She was a model, she'd understand that it was just work...

"There's an explanation for this pose, actually," Iris admitted to her boyfriend "I'll tell you after class, okay?"

She had to ask Barry for permission first, he'd been right to say that they needed to agree on what to say. She couldn't just tell anyone that he was scared of spiders. He hadn't even told his own best friend!

"Why can't you tell me right now?" Malcolm asked while he shoved his phone in the pocket of his jacket.

Why was he talking so loudly, was the real question. Other students were glancing at them while they passed them by.

"Y'all lovebirds are waiting for the bell to ring before splitting up or what?" A voice came from behind Iris.

David Gregger, the future captain of the football team. Iris approved of the choice: he was a team player and he wasn't the stereotypical typical alpha male athlete. 

He was also rumored to campaign for homecoming king next year. Iris had to check with Janet if he actually had a chance, because then she might ignore Joan and campaign for homecoming too. It would be so great if she and David became the first All-Black royal couple of CC High. Since Malcolm didn't have a chance for homecoming king, David was the next best thing to Iris: she and David actually had things to talk about nowadays whenever the cheerleaders hung out with the football team. That's because David was taking the same literature class as her this quarter. Iris was glad that she'd be done with cheerleading soon, because the other athletes had called them nerds for talking about books not assigned for class. David had taken great offense to the joke, but Iris didn't care. There was nothing wrong with being a nerd!

It's not that she and David were friends-friends now, but they got along well.

"Morning, David," Iris greeted with a neutral smile, knowing better than to be too friendly with him in front of Malcolm.

Also, she wasn't sure about his dye job. Dark orange? She liked his afro, though. Guys who kept their hair long went against the grain, and Iris admired that. She didn't think that she could wear her hair short like her mom.

Malcolm also had big hair, but he kept it tied in a low bun most of the time.

"Mind your own business, Gregger," he bit out. "And what do you mean by splitting up, you king of the jungle wannabe? The way you're tiny and yellow with orange hair, you actually look like a meerkat."

"Since you wanna bring up colorism first thing in the morning," David replied with a mischievous lift of one eyebrow and one corner of his mouth. "You looking like some evil black-maned lion, bro!"**

Oh God. _Boys!_

"Get out of my sight, Gregger, or..." Malcolm reacted immediately, taking menacing steps towards David.

"What you're doing?" Iris asked her boyfriend as she placed her hand on his chest to stop him from moving any further.

Other students were definitely paying attention to them now. Damn it!

"Trying to intimidate me, obviously," David was the one who answered Iris, scoffing when Malcolm sucked his teeth. "What, Lyndale, can't stand the fact that next year I'll be king and Iris queen? Wanted to stand proud next to the One True Queen, didn't you?" 

That One True Queen title was starting to irritate Iris, because only a few of her fans online actually knew what it meant. No one but Linda knew in person, yet everyone but her teammates was calling her that in school now, and it had started creating tension between her and the cheerleaders again. Her announcing that she was leaving the team hadn't helped.

"Did I stutter? Get out the hell out of my sight!" Malcolm half-shouted, brushing Iris' hand off his chest to walk closer to David.

"Malcolm, stop this!" Iris ordered her boyfriend, keeping her voice at a reasonable volume. "People are watching—"

"If you're so worried about what people see, why did you take that picture, huh?" He rounded back towards her, surprising her into taking a step backwards...and bumping her back into her own locker door.

The noise brought maximum attention on them. She took a deep breath to remain calm.

"I told you," she answered quietly, leaning forward so Malcolm could hear. "There's an explanation for..."

"Yo, Iris, let's go," David chimed in. "First period is Mr. Sherloque and he—the heck!"

"Malcolm!" Iris shouted after she recovered from the shock of seeing her boyfriend shove her classmate into a locker all the way on the other hand of the hallway. "Malcolm, get yourself together! What do you think you're doing?"

"Being genuine!" He replied as he turned towards her. "Unlike _you,_ I don't fake getting along with people who piss me off!"

Really? Really?!?

Iris walked around Malcolm to get to David. "You okay, David?"

"He's more than okay!" Malcolm answered for the other boy, spreading his arms wide. "Someone around here is taking a picture or a video of him standing _next to you!_ You think that he's taking that lit class because he wants to read books? He's trying to get your attention! He first tried his luck in freshman year, when he tattled on some dumb bet about Jake popping your...he gossiped about a gossip about you! He did it so Janet would tell you and make him look good! But she didn't tell you, even though she stopped the bet, because she known that he's a clown! She's disappointing me so much right now, making noise about supporting him for homecoming! Bet that's what's making him think he's got a chance with you now!"

Even though Malcolm had cut himself off, Iris and the onlookers standing closest to the trio had understood what he'd meant earlier: that people _had bet on Jake taking Iris' virginity_.

What the...

"I wish that Janet had told me," Iris declared as she placed a hand on David's upper arm, "so that I could at least thank you. Thanks, David, really."

"Just watching out for a queen, nothing fancy," the halfback replied with a loopy smile.

The shrill of the bell got some students rushing towards their classrooms, but too many lingered to hear the end of this conversation. Mostly Iris' classmates. 

Why did she have to share oxygen with all these _immature teenagers?_

"You know that _this_ ," Malcolm spoke up, waving his hand at the hand that Iris still had on David's arm, "will earn you the reputation of slut that your cheerleader friends already have, right? I'm the one who's protected you from it!"

"Excuse me?" Iris deadpanned as she stared at her boyfriend.

"You wear a skimpy uniform and tiny skirts and shorts; you and your girls hang out with big groups of guys after class; you're a model..." he listed as he ticked off the fingers of one hand. "And now, _on the same day_ , you're seen being all touchy feely with both Allen and Gregger? I'm so done with you."

Time seemed to slow down as Iris processed what she'd just heard...then she had to stop herself from decking her own boyfriend with a hook...then she had to tighten her jaw and look to the side because she wanted to cry. All the time and energy invested in this relationship... _for nothing?_

Looking to the side brought her gaze onto one of the spectators of this childish show: one of Barry's friends. Meena Dhawan, right? From the chess club? So now Barry was going to hear about her getting dumped in front of half of the school?

_Aw, hell no._

This wasn't even about Iris still having unrequited feelings for Barry; this was about Barry being the only person, along with Linda, whose respect she valued as much as she valued her parents'.

"This isn't going to earn me any reputation, Lyndale," she talked back as she walked up to _her ex,_ looking him up and down with forced disdain. "This is going to _expose you_ for who you really are."

"Who I really am?" Malcolm echoed, dumbfounded.

"A self-absorbed, phony, and insecure _boy_ ", Iris claimed, wincing internally at the half-lie, "who tried to keep his popularity up without doing much but be a civil rights talktivist, by hanging out with me! I'm CC High's future queen! But I'm through giving you second chances to prove that you can be the one placing the crown on my head. You're just dragging me down. You and I are over! _I'm_ breaking up with you," she made sure that people heard that part.

This was so stupidly dramatic...how did Malcolm like her now, though? Was she convincing, acting all 'diva' like the other pretty Black girls?

The one who'd indirectly taught Iris how to act like that was Mr. Sherloque...and he might write her a ticket for being late. Damn it! She had one of her last practice sessions later on, she couldn't go to detention!

"What did you just say to me?" Malcom questioned her loudly.

"I didn't stutter," she deadpanned before calmly walking away, keeping a straight face even as their audience 'ooh'ed.

"Badass queen!" David commented as he caught up to her. She just smiled in response.

Thankfully for them, Mr. Sherloque didn't feel like sending half of his class to detention that day.

* * *

9.

"I mean, I do think about you quite frequently," Barry confessed.

Oh? 

OH.

He was serious about...? And 'I do think about you', _present tense_ , meaning that he still...?

Iris couldn't not laugh at the absurdity of her life: all this time, they'd been feeling the same for each other?

"Even when...even when you had a boyfriend...why you're laughing?" Barry asked while he went all red.

Aww, he looked so cute blushing like that! True, he blushed now and then during photo shoots when he lost his focus, or off set when he rambled, but even then he wasn't _this adorably awkward._

"медвежонок," she addressed him in a way she'd never ever dared back when they were kids, even though she'd really, really wanted to. She still blamed Aunty Sasha for making her sound like a fully grown lady whenever she spoke Russian. 

Six years old Barry Allen stuttering Russian words, though? _Adorable_ , truly, now that she thought back on it. He'd been so—

"Hmm-hmm-mm?" Iris asked.

It should've been 'what are you doing?', but with Barry's mouth on hers, it came out muffled and unintelligible.

"Don't call me that again," Barry forbade her after he cut the kiss short, making Iris gasp and almost choke on air.

"What..." she managed to utter, letting out a shallow exhale when he dropped a quick peck on her nose.

"Hmm, wait, actually you can call me медвежонок whenever I'm feeling cuddly," he corrected himself—before staring at her lips, then staring into her eyes...

Then tilting his head, then planting another long and firm kiss on her.

She let him do it even though he actually gave her time to turn her head away this time. She let him do it because her higher cognitive functions were clearly on sleep mode. The hand that anchored to the back of his neck did it all on its own, just like her lips parted without her permission.

 _Oh God_ , those kissing skills had been _wasted_ on flings with the other models? Or had he gained the skills thanks to those flings? And...oh wow, the contrast between the intensity of Barry's lips, tongue and teeth, and the delicateness of his hands on her face? Shut the...This kiss was perfect!

Iris couldn't tell how long they kissed like that, but she welcomed the first proper intake of oxygen when Barry removed one hand from her cheek and slid his lips down her jaw and onto the side of her neck.

"Oh my God," she whimpered as she belatedly realized how crazily turned on she was, it was _insane,_ so she slipped her free hand under the back of his shirt.

"Which shoulder?" She asked softly into his ear, trying to be all sensual and sultry as she caressed his back. The way he shivered suggested that she pulled it off. "Where's your tattoo, bear? I can't believe that you permanently marked your skin with my name and birth date at thirteen years old. In front of your mom? Your dad?"

"Was alone," he whispered back before making her moan with a light lick of her neck. "Impersonated my dad on the phone, since he'd been to the parlor the first time around...then forged his signature."

Iris almost hurt him pushing him off.

"Wh-what? What did I say?" Barry asked, looking confused and so stupidly sexy with his blown out pupils, flushed face and swollen lips.

"Is there anything about us that you don't want to keep _secret,_ Bartholomew Henry Allen?" She demanded to know. "You couldn't even get a coded tattoo of my name _legally?_ "

"Wait, wait, your parents let you get tattoos?" He asked back instead of answering.

"I don't need their permission to mark my own skin!" She hissed. "Which I did _legally_!"

"How? Who...Charz, of course," Barry guessed with a tilted nod before he threw his hands up. "I didn't have an older cousin to help me, Iris! My cousins are all the way in Star City! Here it's just me and my damn racist parents!"

"Racist, but they let you hang out with _Cisco_ ," she countered bitterly. "Meaning that we never actually had to hide!"

"Yes we did!" He insisted. "My parents specifically forbade me to play with you! We're _neighbors,_ Iris. My parents and maybe even yours would've enforced that rule very easily back then. Your dad doesn't seem to like me..."

Her dad didn't like _any_ _male around her_ who wasn't family!

"My parents obviously don't approve my friendship with Cisco either," Barry corrected her. "It's not like he's ever stepped in the house! My mom whined about me being friends with Ryan, Meena and Chester all throughout middle school too! But she knew that she couldn't control me anymore, and my dad kept telling her to wait until my rebellious phase passed, so she let me do whatever even though she was vocally against it! And anyways, you ghosted me at that point! Regardless of my parents' opinion, we couldn't be friends because you ended our friendship!"

"Ghosted you?" She repeated, disbelieving. "We were still texting! How dare you say that it's _my fault_ that our friendship ended, when you're the one who stopped asking me to meet? I was always waiting for you to decide on the meeting's time and place, like some...some friendship beggar! Couldn't be choosy about when it was the best time to lie to my parents just to see you and talk to you! Only Charz knew! I even kept the secret from Linda, from my best friend—"

" _I_ was your best friend, Linda _stole you_ from me in third grade!" He argued vehemently with a thumb pointed to his chest. "And then she told _everyone_ that my parents were racists, and not even the bullies would touch me with a ten-foot pole! The teachers looked at me as if I was the one who had wronged you!"

Yeah, okay, yeah...that was kinda true.

"I was the beggar, Iris," he objected more quietly, his eyes filling up with tears. "Every time I waited for you at one of the janitor's closets, I feared that you'd never come. When my dad forced me to return 'Awesome Breonna', I was so scared that you'd think that I was becoming racist too...And then I learned that my family— _I was the beggar, Iris!_ " He repeated, his voice breaking on her name.

"Barry," she uttered, feeling terrible. "Barry, I'm sorry."

She reached out to him with both hands, silently asking for a hug, but he flinched, then gaped at her, at the car.

"What are we...what am I even doing?" He seemed to ask himself, a self-deprecating laugh fracturing the air in front of him. "I figured out why you were mad at me for the tattoo, and so what? **It doesn't change shit!** " He argued, and Iris wondered if he'd switched **to Spanish** because he'd had a similar conversation with Cisco.

"How did you even figure out about my UV tattoo?" She had to ask to keep her heart from breaking, because he was right.

Nothing had changed. If anything, things were worst: _they loved each other_ , but what could they do about it? Iris didn't care about Mr. and Mrs. Allen's opinion, but she was almost a hundred percent certain that her parents would forbid her to date the racist neighbors' son.

Speaking of...she checked her watch to estimate how long she had until one of her parents called her on the landline to check that she was home. She had fifteen minutes or so.

"You didn't even seem to remember that day!" She recalled, filling out Barry's silence. "Granted, it was a while ago..."

"Ten years ago," he specified in a rush, as if he'd been waiting to have her full attention back before speaking again. "This week or maybe last week was the tenth anniversary of that one time you and I ironically owed Tony for saving us from bullies. His friends would've beaten us up good that day, that's for sure."

"Yeah," Iris agreed, then tilted her head as she held his gaze. "But how did you...?"

"The day you joked about my tattoo at work," he started, then specified when she looked confused, "we were in your dressing room, on our first shared photoshoot. Cisco was shouting my name all over the place..."

"Cisco knows, doesn't he?" Iris asked, feeling weird for being jealous of a nice guy who'd never done anything to her. "About you and...about us?"

"Same way that _Linda knows_ , sure," Barry drawled, unbothered by the glare that she leveled him. "Anyways, you said 'run Barry, run,' and I'd just caught something flashing on the skin of your arm...I didn't know it was your tattoo, of course. I thought that it was glitter partially illuminated by the UV light of the gel nail dryer."

"What an idiot!" Iris whined before dropping her head on the stirring wheel.

"Then today you panicked right before our shoot in the dark with UV lights on," he kept going. "I knew that you'd have to have done something to calm yourself, but couldn't figure what since you looked the same...because you'd just covered your arm with makeup since no one would give you a 'jacket' to do it. But what jolted my memory was after I knocked over that gel nail dryer and you said that we should run, then I said that they wouldn't fight us over a cheap thing. Run, fight...the words took me back to that day at Carmichael, and when I checked that the UV light still worked, I remembered that shiny stuff on your arm from months ago...and the fact that UV tattoos were the new cool thing back when I got my arm tattoo. My dad refused to let me get one because he knew about the tattoos needing to get renewed. I remembered thinking that it would be so cool to show you a UV tattoo at summer camp, if I got a UV light flashlight—anyways, all these pieces fell into a complete puzzle..."

"Your mind is an interesting place, Barry Allen," she teased him, looking up at him from her position against the steering wheel. "You could've been a detective like my dad, or something."

"I definitely wouldn't have figured out anything if you hadn't panicked like that earlier," he claimed with a shrug, but she detected a little smugness curling his lips. "It was so uncharacteristic of you, 'One True Queen'."

"You know about the one true queen?" She asked, surprised. 

"That's what everyone calls you, right?" He asked back with a frown. "Both your fans online and in school. In school because you're smart and elegant and command respect, right? And I guess online because your posts are always so eloquent?"

She blinked from hearing his easy compliments, but was relieved that he didn't know. She didn't know why she was relieved that he didn't know about the One True Queen theory, but she was.

"Thanks, but you and Linda know that I'm not all that," she objected.

"If Linda can't acknowledge how amazing you are, **then she doesn't deserve to be your best friend,** " he asserted, the second half of his sentence delivered in a heavy American accent, but using perfect **Korean.**

He'd even used a slang term for best friend. What?!

 **"You learned Korean after all?"** She asked rhetorically. **"Right, Ryan Choi...he's Korean-American too."**

 **"He doesn't speak Korean, actually,"** he corrected her assumption. **"I first learned with books, then I bought DVDs of Korean dramas from that video store at the Asian shopping center.** I bet that Linda wouldn't expect the 'king of the nerds' to know her native language," he ended in English, huffing a bit after saying his own nickname.

The atmosphere was weird for a while, because Barry seemed embarrassed by his petty comment, and Iris was too ashamed to correct him that she was the one who'd coined the term 'king of the nerds'. But Linda was the first to specifically call _Barry_ the king of the nerds!

*

_"Damn, that's harsh! Hey Iris, a status on the football team's group: 'how do you call the nerd above all nerds?'"_

_"Really?"_

_"Come on, it's just a joke!"_

_"O-kay...well, if we stereotype all nerds as D &D players, the one above all would be the king, right? The king of the nerds?"_

_"..."_

_"What?"_

_"The comment with the most likes and replies has 'the All-N, because he's above all nerds'..."_

_"All...Allen! They're talking about Barry! Who said that?!"_

_"No one of importance. But hey! King is the logical answer, for sure! Yeah, 'Barry Allen, the king of the nerds' has a nice ring to it! I'll spread the words."_

_"Linda!"_

_"What? It's better than all the other suggestions on this post! One of them is gonna stick for sure! Barry will thank me when he learns that he got nicknamed by you!"_

_"What? I didn't...Linda!"_

_"Iris, it's just a joke okay? It will die down in a month or two!"_

*

Barry's nickname as king of the nerds _had died down_ after a month in freshman year, but it came back every now and then since Barry became a model, whenever a few students would go into groupies mode around him. The popular kids were the one reviving the nickname to reinforce the status quo within CC High. They didn't want Barry's growing popularity outside of school to threaten the social hierarchy inside the school.

"Would you," Barry broke the silence, shuffling close to the passenger door. "Would you punch me in the face if I asked to be friends now? Publicly? I mean, our fans already assume that we are friends, so we—"

"Just so we're clear," Iris cut him off as she straightened back on her seat, her squinting eyes fixed on his confused ones, "you want us to be _friends_ after we confessed our feelings for each other and kissed like the protagonists of some dumb soap opera?"

He opened his mouth, closed it, pursed his lips in reflection, then tilted his head with a skeptical squint of his left eye:

" _Technically_ , you didn't confess your feelings for me," he joked.

"Barry!" She chided him.

"Iris!" He returned before sighing out and bumping the back of his head to the headrest. "I can't date you publicly! My parents definitely wouldn't tolerate that! My mother hates you."

"To this day?" Iris asked, disbelieving. 

"She makes all these underhanded comments every time she hears you or your parents outside," he let her know with a sigh. "She calls you 'that girl', to the point that every time I hear someone else say 'that girl' I think that they're talking about you, too."

Iris gaped at him.

What the hell was wrong with his mom?

"My dad isn't any better even though he doesn't say much," Barry claimed. "Actually, he's worse than her, because he's basically hating himself through his own 'beliefs'. He has an Asian grand-parent! I just...I've lost hope, Iris. I tried and tried to reason with them, especially my dad because he's the scientist and because he can influence my mom. _Nothing_."

Iris couldn't imagine living with parents like that, every day for seventeen years! Well, nine years effectively, since Barry hadn't known until he was eight. But still! 

Living with a woman who hated the girl he was in love with couldn't be easy. Iris' dad was simply mistrustful of guys around her, all of them. If he had anything against Barry, it that Barry earned more money than her.

"Iris," Barry called out softly, searching her eyes.

"Yeah?" she answered, lowering hers to chance a glance at his lips.

Both Jake and Malcolm were good kissers. While Iris was still furious by the fact that people had bet that Jake would take her virginity, she wasn't surprised by their confidence: the boy was skilled with his mouth and hands. Malcolm hadn't been too bad either, when he'd actually tried...

But neither had made Iris feel as desired and cherished as Barry had made her feel with just a kiss. 

Iris wanted...she wanted to kiss Barry again, and do much more than that. Keeping things secret felt like an okay price for his love. 

And yet...

Something was telling her to stay away from this recipe for drama. It was asking her to maintain a safe distance between her and Barry.

It was that same something that had kept her from hitting send whenever she'd impulsively written _"Haven't seen you in a while! When/where can we meet?"_ , even though her heart had been hurting from missing him; and it was what had kept her from sitting at Barry's table at the cafeteria after she'd swapped her sandwich and his shrimp pasta, even though her head had reasoned that she could use Barry's allergy as an icebreaker to reconnect (and show his so-called friends that she knew him better than them).

Whatever that something was, it had been _sabotaging_ her social life! Yes, Iris had always wanted to be some type of gymnast or dancer, that's why she'd joined the cheerleaders' team. But she was sure that she would've liked hanging out with Barry and his friends better than hanging out with the basketball or football players!

If Iris hadn't 'followed the flow', if she'd gone against the unspoken rules of CC High that popular kids didn't mingle with nerds, if she hadn't pretended not to be on speaking terms with Barry whenever their paths crossed in the hallways...

If she'd asked him why he hadn't said anything while he had a crush for her, and if she'd told him that she had more than a crush on him...

She'd been such a coward! All she'd ever wanted was to be with Barry, but she hadn't even _fought_ for their friendship! 

_**Don't run. Stay and fight.** _

"Would you be okay waiting for me to turn eighteen to ask you out?" Barry asked cautiously.

Next March? They were barely in April! No, she wouldn't wait! _It was now or never!_

She didn't voice her answer. Instead, she stared at him and let him see.

He'd claimed that he needed plain English to understand her, but that wasn't true: he understood her perfectly when they worked together. When they both silenced their fears and insecurities, and when they trusted that the other was giving everything they got to deserve that paycheck.

So she gave him ten, twenty, thirty seconds to drop his fears and insecurities because she'd dropped hers the second he'd kissed her—he loved her too, they'd loved each other all these years and like idiots hadn't done anything. She was craving another kiss, but he wanted them to wait _a year_ to be together?

No sooner had the thought crossed her mind that Barry pressed his lips against hers again, with the same intensity as before, but something about this kiss was kinda light. Innocent? Simple, maybe.

Like the fact that Iris West loved Barry Allen, and he her. That kind of simplicity.

Yeah.

* * *

10.

Screw her gut. Oh, right, quick intro: the 'something' that had kept her away from Barry all these years? That was her gut.

So yeah, _screw her gut,_ because every time it tried to stop her from sneaking into the Allens' residence, her head and heart were proven right for pushing her past the garage door (she had been about to joke about sneaking through the backdoor when she'd seen that the Allens had seriously made both entrances a front entrance.)

Iris didn't need to compare every move Barry made to Jake's or Malcolm's to know that her secret boyfriend valued her more than her official exes ever did, but...okay, maybe it was her own fault that she'd never told her exes how much she loved food. But, all the other cheerleaders hid their appetites too! The male basketball players always treated them to food because they weren't "gluttonous" like the female basketball players...err, no, cheerleaders just nibbled on a stupid amount of protein bars between meals! Anyways, Barry had figured out that Iris loved food, especially sushi, all on his own!

Neither Jake nor Malcolm had taken Iris to a proper restaurant, so Iris had really enjoyed Barry taking her to that famous Japanese restaurant on Infantino Street for their first date. She'd had _lemon drop rolls!_ 아줌마 didn't make those at her restaurant. But Jake and Malcolm couldn't afford to take her out at fancy places, so it wasn't really a fair comparison...even though Barry had actually taken cash from his mom's card to pay for their restaurant bill (in advance! They'd dressed in nice clothes, but they still got treated like suspicious kids). All this time, Iris had thought that Barry could use his work money freely, but just like her, he hadn't touched it since becoming a model.

Barry himself knew his way around a kitchen, which made Iris feel like a failure because all she could manage was bake easy chocolate desserts. He didn't mind though, he enjoyed cooking yummy food for her. He made some mean toasted ravioli and St. Paul sandwiches, local delicacies that Iris had actually never had before. And he often recreated the foods they used to have at summer camp, but of course he made them healthier and tastier and shellfish free.

He'd also introduced Iris to the famous 'darkness croissants' that were only found in three places in the county, and one of them was that fancy confectionery downtown. How had Iris never gone there? She couldn't eat brownies from the box ever again since she'd had the ones they sold at that store. It's too bad that the confectionery was so far from their neighborhood, but it was a good thing because there was no way that her parents would take her there on a regular basis.

Iris had thoroughly enjoyed savoring whatever Barry made in the kitchen, which she usually enjoyed in the living room's couch, but she got impatient waiting two slow weeks for their STD test results...only to get unreasonably self-conscious the day after they'd learned that they were both clean and Barry had asked her if she wanted to watch a movie on his laptop upstairs rather than in front of the TV downstairs.

She'd remembered how she'd never spent more than ten minutes in Jake or Malcolm's bedrooms, and back then she'd been nervous being there alone with them even though their doors had been open and their parents or siblings had been around.

Obviously, Iris and Barry were always alone at his parents' house, so the closer to his bedroom they'd walked, the more of a wreck Iris had become inside. She'd needed to repeat in her head that Barry loved her and that he wouldn't be mad if she decided that she wasn't ready, and anyways maybe he just wanted to watch a movie—

Unexpectedly, her nerves had disappeared when she'd entered his bedroom and seen his bed:

*

_"Is that...is that the Missouri queen sleigh bed I see on those infomercials late at night?"_

_"Yeah..."_

_"Oh my God..."_

_"I didn't choose it, okay? My parents did when I started growing like crazy. They have the king size version, if you're wondering."_

_"What in the world, Allen family! You guys eat tourists' foods on a regular basis, and now this?"_

_"I was born here, but my parents weren't. They're still trying to prove that they belong. That's why we don't have a lot of furniture: if something doesn't scream Central City or Missouri, they don't want it."_

_"Quite literally in this case...pfft!"_

_"Hey, don't laugh before you've tried it!"_

*

And, yeah, okay, that bed was worth its ridiculous price. No wonder Barry had complained about the bunker beds at camp all those years back! He hadn't exaggerated about his back pains caused by those rock-hard mattresses. Iris had believed him of course, but she'd thought that his fast-growing body couldn't ever be comfortable anyway.

Being in Barry's bedroom had ended up being a relaxing experience, not just because of the comfy bed, but because Barry had mad skills...in deep tissue massage!

Iris had been skeptical about those skills when he'd spontaneously started kneading her shoulders when they'd watched that first movie on his laptop. But she'd quickly swallowed back her mocking comments, along with moans that would've been embarrassing to let out—not as embarrassing as her dirty talk!

(The few nice porn videos that she liked had the actresses cursing the entire time, was that why she cursed too?)

Once, Barry had given her a full body massage, and she'd basically melted into the bedsheets. She'd felt bad for falling asleep afterwards, but he'd promised her that it was alright; he'd just played video games with his headset while she'd taken the accidental nap.

(To think that, if they'd been together since freshman year, Barry could've given her massages after practice!!!)

Sometimes they did homework in Barry's bedroom, and Iris had been surprised the first time that Barry had casually asked her for help. For French, she could understand, but _Math and Chemistry?_ He'd taken way more sciences classes than her!

*

_"It doesn't mean that I'm smarter? We took the same chem lab in first year, and since you have such a great memory, I know that you—see? You were right, I wrote it wrong. That one's done."_

_"...well, just use your textbook if you forget your units conversions! Don't bother me!"_

_"Why should I waste time and energy grabbing my textbook and looking inside it when I know that you can tell me the answer in two seconds? Share the power, Your Majesty! Because knowledge is power, get it?"_

_"You're such a dork!"_

_"As long as you love me..."_

_"I do love you, Bartholomew Henry Allen."_

_"I love you too, Iris, even though you just said my full government name."_

_"Whatever! Alright, you can ask me stuff about chemistry, but not math! I know almost nothing about trigonometry! Don't make me feel dumb!"_

_"Alright, alright, and here...muah. Thank you kiss."_

_"I deserve way more than a peck on the nose, though..."_

_"Uh-huh? Here then...umm...wait, Iris, let me finish...ah! Wait, are you already done?"_

_"I'll finish at home...umm...bear, come on!"_

_"...umm, let me finish just this one?"_

_"Okay, yeah, sorry."_

_"...never mind, now I'm blanking out—"_

_"Hmm? Oh...soh-cah-toa, right? Cosine is adjacent over hypotenuse. The answer's..."_

_"..."  
_

_"I'm blanking out too, pfft! Anyways, where were we?"_

_"..."_

_"...what?"_

_"How's your GPA at 3.5? Every single quarter?"_

_"It's called consistency, Mr. Allen...nuh-uh! Kiss me..."_

*

But of course, Iris' favorite experience in Barry's bedroom was receiving oral. Sometimes Barry only used his mouth, his hands firm on her thighs and belly to keep her in place when he made her squirm like a worm...and made her call him names.

Speaking of oral sex, Iris really felt like she was the one getting more out of this relationship because she had yet to give him a blow job. He never asked for it, but she really wanted to do it.

Like, _now_.

"...Iris..." was the only thing coming out of Barry's mouth that she understood, her brain too focused on multitasking to pay attention to him literally speaking in tongues. Kissing him all over his torso and varying her strokes on his hard dick required some serious concentration.

Iris found it fascinating that, unlike her who stuck to Russian and English when they had sex, Barry seemed to mix all the languages he knew, even ASL which he'd just started learning. He'd used the self-explanatory 'wait a minute' sign once, when he'd been taking too long to get rid of a used condom, breathing hard with his arm folded over his face. Iris had realized that it was ASL and not the kinda condescending gesture for 'one moment' or 'wait up' because after she'd discarded the condom herself (gross...) Barry had then signed 'thank you' and 'sorry'.

Iris could only imagine the sounds that Barry would make when she started blowing him. Should she warn him? Maybe give him a hint? Yeah.

She leaned up to start a kissing trail under his ear, and the sound he made when she licked the freckles there made her want to hump his thigh. But she held on and kissed down his jaw, neck, collarbone...when she reached his chest, she swirled her tongue around his left nipple because when he did that to her she wanted to sing along the Barry Double music that often played in the background when they were making love.

(She didn't know what to think of the fact that some of Barry's musical taste was influenced by his very first conversation with her).

Iris kept nibbling and licking her boyfriend's skin as she progressed down his ribs, the way he usually did for her, all the while she made sure to keep her strokes firm and steady along his shaft. When she made it past his belly button, she absentmindedly wondered if he was naturally hairless or if he shaved—

"Ow," she whimpered, more in surprised than in pain, when Barry pulled her head up by the hair.

"You...you don't-don't have to...do that, okay?" He told her between heavy breaths. "If you find it degrading or...y-you know?"

That made her blink in surprise, but then she smiled with determination and maybe with a little cockiness because of course she'd been practicing. Ever since Jake had asked for oral back in first year. 

"I wanna...blow your mind," she improvised the very silly pun that she hoped her boyfriend would appreciate.

He did, and his laugh turned into a very undignified squeak when she started with a quick lap from the base to the tip of his cock.

* * *

11.

" _If we have all these famous and rich people attending our wedding, your parents won't be able to say no, Barry. Just tell them that if they get stubborn."_

_"Right, right..."_

_"..."_

_"What is it? Iris?"_

_"How rich is your family? I_ _don't care about it, just..."_

_"..."_

_"You don't have to—"_

_"My grandparents have a manor."_

_"Wow."_

_"As a 'country house'. They mainly live in a huge villa. Like, the yard is...both our parents' houses?"_

_"You're kidding, right?"_

_"I wish. And my grandfather likes to think that his grandfather started from scratch when he moved from Alabama to Washington, but...He started with his inheritance, with money that...you know."_

_"Yeah."_

_"Sorry."_

_"It's not your fault, bear."_

_"O-okay."_

_"But okay, now I see why you freaked out when I said negro girl—"_

_"Oh my God! Iris!"_

_"You know, now I'm not so sure if I'm comfortable_ _with your bondage kink...Feels wrong, don't you think?"_

_"You said—oh shit! Are you...we don't have to do that at all, of course!"_

_"I already bought those books on Shibari and Kinbaku*. Oh, well."_

_"Can you return them still? I'll pay you back...Iris?"_

_"Your white guilt is adorable, Bar—Barry? Hey! Babe, I was just joking!"_

_"Please don't joke about this, Iris...any-anything but this..."_

_"Of course it wasn't funny to you. God, I suck! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry babe. Come here. Sorry.."_

_"I shouldn't be crying over it! I'm not the one who suffered! Talk about white fragility._ _"_

_"Boy, stop! You're crying because you feel bad for the Black folks your ancestors and other cruel white people persecuted."_

"I can't stand that I came from those cruel people...how can I be—"

 _"Cruelty isn't hereditary, right? People have to be socially conditioned to hate their neigh...their fellow human beings. Unless they're psychos. You're not a psycho._ _You're a compassionate person. So it's normal to cry."_

_"I don't want to hear that from you, Miss 'I never cry'! You know, it took me a while to figure out that trick of yours? I should use it more often to stop myself from crying."_

_"You knew?"_

_"Yeah? I mean, for years I was puzzled that a girl with such a big heart could be so poker-faced. Even when you were physically hurt!"_

_"Linda didn't..."_

_"Hmm?"_

_"I mean, Jake and Malcolm didn't figure it out. They probably think that I'm a cold-hearted bitch."_

_"I heard that Malcolm said some terrible things to you when you two broke up in the hallway, but everyone talks about how you kept your cool even though he was loud and rude."_

_"I said pretty terrible things right back at him, bear. I feel bad about it, and I feel worse that my pride won't let me apologize..."_

_"Sorry you feel that way. I so wanna hug you again_ _."_

_"Aww, me too! Umm... **thank you, teddy bear!** "_

_**"Please, no Russian,** _ _it kinda makes me...um, I mean. Let's get out of here?"_

_"Oh, yeah. Hey, it's confirmed, my parents will be home super late tonight. We got the whole house to ourselves for hours! We should order pizza, and have homemade brownies for dessert?"_

_"Oh..."_

_"Why do you sound so surprised? I told you this morning! Uh, isn't that Mr. Sherloque's car? I thought the school was empty. Uh-oh."_

_"He already knows that we're together anyways."_

_"Right! I wonder how..."_

_"You're...you're really not regretting it, Iris? Us being together? Now that you know..."_

_"Barry! Sorry for the terrible dark humor. You're not your ancestors, just like you're not your parents! You're you, and I love you! Okay?"_

_"I love you too, Iris, so much, but..."_

_"No 'but'! I'm gonna make you brownies from scratch, and we're gonna enjoy them while we watch something stupid that will make us laugh till our abs hurt, and I'm gonna make love to you. Okay? I wish that you could stay over...Sorry, bear."_

_"That's okay, Iris. What we have is more than enough for me, I mean for now? I'm...I'm so happy, you have no idea. You make me so happy, Iris...what? Was that too cheesy? I mean it!"_

_"I also mean it when I say that I've just fallen in love with you all over again, Barry Allen. And that's way cheesier than what you just said."_

_"Nah, sounds very romantic to me."_

_"Aww, bear! Will kissing you now make us have an accident?"_

_"A kiss on the cheek should be fine..."_

* * *

12.

"Even after that, you will be my responsibility, my legacy!" Mrs. Allen shouted. "Because you're my son and I won't stand for this! This is over!"

Iris wanted to laugh, so she adopted a scared expression to disguise her shaking as fear.

Barry was her legacy? Of what, _white supremacy?_ He didn't want anything to do with her bigotry! Or maybe she meant professionally? But Barry didn't want to be a singer or musician, he wanted to be an actor, and the acting scene in Central City was diverse, unlike the classical music scene...anywhere in the country.

This was 'over'? They would see when Barry turned eighteen.

...

"You want money to go to college, don't you?" That woman offered, unsolicited. "How much do you need, huh? I can pay it all, as long as you stay away from Barry—it's Barry, not bear, you dimwit!"

If that witch had eavesdropped on Iris calling Barry 'bear', then she'd also heard her say that she could afford tuition, it was housing that she was...why was she even still there, listening that lunatic?

"I'm leaving," she announced for Barry's sake.

He could return her phone at work, or he could drop it off at 아줌마's restaurant, where she was headed to.

"Iris! Iris, wait!" Barry requested, but really he should know better.

They _both_ should've known better, to be honest. If Iris had listened to her gut, she wouldn't be in this mess. This was definitely topping off third grade...

"Yes, get out of my house," Barry's mom demanded, "before I call the cops on you, thief. Real cops!"

Say what?

_SAY WHAT?_

"Mom, enough!" Barry shouted.

Poor him, he sounded mortified and yet still in denial that this was happening. Didn't Iris tell him? Doing things at his parents' place had been a bad idea! 

...

"Oh my beautiful boy, you're so easily-manipulated," Nora Allen claimed.

She didn't even know her son! Barry, easily-manipulated? He was the one who manipulated thousands of teenagers' fashion! Barry was also changing the shallow opinion that people had about nerds! Both him and Chester were taking advantage of their kinda friendship with Felicity Smoak to speak up about the hurtful consequences of stereotyping nerds. It was very cool.

"Can't you see? She's been using you for months!" Mrs. Allen kept going. "To get famous, to make money...and she expected that you'd spend yours for her too! But no, _never_ , over my dead body."

That... _that_ made Iris pause, and think, and guilt started creeping up her spine, because—

*

_"Should we address the elephant in the room?"_

_"There's no elephant, Linda."_

_"You're right, it's a white horse."_

_"What?"_

_"The white horse that Barry Allen rides on as he cuts down racists and sexists' comments about you all over social media?"_

_"Only his fans' comments. It's his right. I didn't ask him to do that."_

_"Exactly! One more ally to the One True Queen's cause!"_

_"Linda..."_

_"Come on, Iris! You're amazing and I love you, but we both know that your thousands of fans wouldn't know that if you_ _hadn't become Barry Allen's modeling soulmate."_

_"I'm not his modeling soulmate!"_

_"Yes girl, yes you are. You both are, to each other. He doesn't post about the other models like he posts about you. Anyways, since he doesn't know about the One True Queen thing..."_

_"Oh...right."_

_"Iris Ann West."_

_"What, Linda Park?"_

_"Did you tell him?"_

_"No! We don't talk like that."_

_"Uh-huh. Let's not forget who his parents are. I mean, duh, how could you."_

_"Exactly."_

_"The king of the nerds doesn't need to know about our great plan to desegregate Hollywood. He clearly has his own nerd agenda..."_

_"But...? There's a but, I hear it."_

_"That doesn't mean that you can't reward him for his good deeds."_

_"Why did you say 'reward' like that?"_

_"Listen, I don't like David very much, not as your boyfriend I mean..."_

_"He's not my boyfriend, Linda, we're fake-flirting. You know that."_

_"Well then, there should be no problem if you and Allen had a little fun, right?"_

_"Linda!"_

_"What? That picture of him hugging you was full of romantic tension."_

_"First you said 'fun', now you mention romance. Make up your mind!"_

_"Well, I think that you need a little tender loving care to reset the bad dating energy that Jake and Malcolm gave you."_

_"You just want me to have sex with Barry so I can give you tips for you and Ian."_

_"No, I want you to keep Barry in our corner so he can be an ally when we dive into the movie industry. If you think that fucking him will do it, by all means..."_

_"Linda!"_

_"That's not a no."_

_"I'm not going to manipulate Barry with sex!"_

_"It's not 'manipulating' if he happily participates!"_

*

It was true that Iris had never asked Barry for his support on social media, and she'd actually asked him to stop glaring at the people at work who annoyed him just because they looked at her the wrong way.

Barry seemed happy to defend her, of course, but...would he still do it if he learned that her and Linda were counting on his white male power to somehow shield them from the worst of the movie industry? That wasn't his responsibility, plus he didn't like Linda that much, she could tell. He resented her deeply for what happened at Carmichael.

It was so dishonest of Iris to keep him in the dark about the One True Queen just because she thought it was fair that he didn't know everything that concerned Linda, since Linda didn't know everything about him either.

Iris should tell them both. They should sit down and make plans together, right? They were all going in the movie industry! But _Barry didn't like Linda_ , and Linda was a bit prejudiced against nerds...and Iris was still very embarrassed about coming up with the 'king of the nerds' title. She didn't want Barry to think poorly of her if he learned the truth!

"Iris?" Mrs. Allen's voice brought her back to a much more upsetting situation.

Wasn't Barry's mom supposed to call her 'that girl'? Iris had a bad feeling about this.

"Yes, Mrs. Allen?" She answered, unable to mask her uneasiness when her eyes met those green ones, which at first sight looked exactly like Barry's, but no, Barry's eyes never carried that much disdain and hatred.

"Know that I appreciate your politeness, girl," Nora Allen declared in a very professional voice. "But this will be the last time that you say my name. Just like this will be the last time that you enter this house. Is that understood?"

"Don't answer that, Iris!" Barry chimed in.

Whatever! She'd told him that meeting at his parents' house was a bad idea! _She'd told him!_ They'd just have to stick to her parents' house and each other's car from now own.

"Yes," she answered.

"Just like this will be the last time that you entertain the idea of touching my son inappropriately," Mrs Allen added. "As well as the last time you meet him in secret because you know that what you're doing is wrong and should be illegal—"

Wow, Iris had never listened to a racist talk for more than five seconds, and now she knew why: _mental cases,_ all of them.

"Mom, what the fuck!" Barry shouted, outraged. "What's wrong with—"

"Raise your voice at me one more time, Bartholomew Henry Allen, and I'll make sure that you won't see a penny of your money, inherited or earned, until you're twenty-five. Then you'll see how much this gold-digger truly loves you."

Wait.

What?

WHAT?

Barry had been right? His mother would disown him, just because he was with Iris? That was crazy!

His own money too?! That wasn't fair!

Against her better judgement, Iris decided to talk back, ignoring the way her gut was screaming at her to just _shut up and leave._

"I don't want his money!" She corrected that cruel, selfish, terrible mother...

"Good, because you won't see any of it," Mrs. Allen asserted. "What you will see, if you don't leave in the next minute, is the full power of _my_ money. My family's money, which was intelligently and good-naturedly built by putting to work dishonest, lazy, unworthy people like you. Just like my son is doing right now: giving a worthless girl a job, out of the goodness of his heart."

WHAT THE HELL?

Had she just...had that racist woman just _threatened her?_

Iris' parents worked for the law! What—

No.

NO. 

Her head and heart needed to shut the hell up because this...this was definitely getting out of hand.

So what if Iris' parents were a D.A. and a Police detective?

Barry's parents were _white and_ _wealthy and evil._

Had Iris not learned anything, after all these years? Her parents had taught her from a young age how to navigate this white people-dominated society! They'd specifically told her to stay away from Barry's parents!

So why, _how_ had she ended up in this mess? How could she have been dumber than her eight-year-old self for these past months?

_"Puberty."_

Oh.

Mr. Sherloque had warned them all at the auditorium, the day he'd recruited Chester, Barry and her to be the musical's main cast members.

_"Puberty makes you forget the lessons you learned during childhood. And at the same time, it gives you a taste of adulthood, making you youngsters impatient to get from point A your current location, to point B on the horizon, whatever your big dream is. There's a safe path connecting A to B..."_

What else had Mr. Sherloque told them? He'd spoken specifically to Barry and Iris, saying that their lives' experiences had prepared them for the roles of Beauty and the Beast.

How in the world did the Theater and Literature teacher know about them? The only way teachers learned about non-official relationships was through students' gossip, and no one was gossiping about Iris and Barry being an item. Everyone was focused on Iris and David instead.

Iris would have to ask Mr. Sherloque. She had to know how he knew her and Barry _better than they knew themselves,_ which was why he hadn't made any comment when they'd denied being similar to Belle and Adam. 

_**"He's not cursed."**_

Yes, yes Barry _was cursed_. He was cursed with bigot parents, and Iris still couldn't believe that all these years she'd been angry at him for his arm tattoo.

Who wouldn't want to run, even as a grown up, from family like that? It was a miracle that Barry himself had turned out so well being surrounded by such terrible—

Huh.

Actually...

Who else could take credit for Barry being a great guy, if not his parents?

Books? TV? His friends? Iris herself?

Barry had been a sweet, smart and kind boy from the day Iris had met him at school. Iris had found him amazing and had quickly developed a crush on him. What her best friend had lacked back then was self-confidence and assertiveness, traits that he himself claimed he'd gained arguing with his parents about their intolerance. So even there, his parents had made him who he was today. 

Also...

Iris was Barry's first girlfriend, right? He'd only had flings before. So where had he learned to treat a girl like that? Who'd taught him to cook for her and spoil her with dessert? Who'd taught him to give her massages? Who'd taught him to give such casual yet heartfelt compliments without sounding flattering? Who'd made him equally value the performing arts and the sciences, to the point that he was going to major in both in college?

For the past few months, Iris had dumbly speculated where Barry had learned to be such a great boyfriend. His friends weren't dating, and he didn't have relatives around, no older cousins like Iris had Charz to give her tips about dating—when Iris dared to ask.

_"I didn't have an older cousin to help me, Iris! My cousins are all the way in Star City! Here it's just me and my damn racist parents!"_

His parents, yet again.

It made sense, right? That Barry treated Iris the same way that his dad treated his mom? Iris herself had noticed that she used words and gestures with her boyfriends that were mirrored from her mom's words and gestures with her dad. She did it more with Barry than her exes, even. Maybe because they spent more times behind closed doors.

So, Barry wasn't cursed for being born to his racist parents. His parents loved him: they'd raised him to be a good kid and they were letting him do whatever he wanted, even tolerating his friendship with the people of color that they hated so much. They trusted him to be a responsible teenager, they let him be a fashion model...either because they trusted that they'd raised him well or because they were scared that restricting his freedom would make him rebel. And probably because the modeling world was dominated by tanned white boys and skinny blonde girls. In any case, Barry's parents _loved him._

Barry wasn't cursed for being born to racist parents. Plenty of white kids had a racist family and they were just fine.

Barry was cursed _with his love for Iris_.If he'd become friends with Izzy Bowin instead of her—

**"She's smart, but not a useless dreamer."**

Iris had been a useless dreamer all along. She'd dreamed about being with Barry for years, as if prejudice and racism and wage gaps didn't exist. But they did!

She had to face it: her gut had been right the entire time. She shouldn't have let her heart convince her that being happy with Barry was worth being paranoid around Linda and Cisco. She shouldn't have let her head convince her that hiding things from her parents was easy enough, that it was fine to do it since she could get away with it.

Yes, Iris had believed that she should fight for her love, but...

It wasn't worth it. Not for Barry, who could lose all his money if they got caught again. _His own money!_ He should just...find himself another pretty, smart and drama-free girl...but a white one. There had to be a model at YC who would catch his eye eventually.

It wasn't worth it. Not for Iris, who could find another real boyfriend who'd love her right this time, she just had to keep looking—did she have to? David was _right there._

It blew her mind and broke her heart to agree with her gut, but she had to be strategic. She had to be smart.

If she were to be the One True Queen, if she wanted her and Linda's dream to actually come true, she had to make sacrifices. Teenage drama was a joke compared to what she'd have to deal with in the movie industry.

Speaking of, maybe she could still keep her professional relationship with Barry intact. That's all she needed from him: his professional support. What she _wanted_ didn't count.

Not if she had to fight for it. It was as Lisa had said:

_"Let me give you a piece of advice, beautiful."_

_"Two pieces of advice: first, work on that tone of_ _yours, I can tell when you're sincere and when you're not. Secondly, stop fighting for what you want."_

"Forty seconds," Nora Allen counted down, and that's all the push Iris needed to get the hell out of that racist people's house. 

* * *

13\. 

_Iris hadn't broken down._

_Barry had clung to her during rehearsal: he'd hugged her longer and kissed her deeper and sometimes had refused to let her down after throwing her over his shoulder._

_He'd kissed her with the tongue in front of the entire school, in front of Linda and Cisco._

_He hadn't denied the rumors spreading in school that he and Iris were dating._

_He'd tried to let Linda know exactly what they were—what they'd been—to each other by publicly yelling at the people on set during a photoshoot, just because they'd made ignorant comments about Iris' makeup._

_Like the queen that she was supposed to become, Iris had responded to Barry's tantrum with calm confidence. She'd faked it, of course, but she was going to be a famous actress. That had been a good way to practice._

_She'd assured Mr. Sherloque that she didn't feel harassed by Barry's behavior and that she was fine staying in the musical._

_She'd looked upset by the unscripted kiss after the play was over, had assured Linda that she didn't see Barry 'that way'._

_In reality she'd cherished that improvised kiss. She'd revisited it over and over, even though it made her cry because it had been their last kiss forever._

_When David had gathered the courage to kiss Iris, she'd carefully placed the memory of that last kiss with Barry in a box, along with her feelings for him, and she'd closed that box, had locked it, had pushed it in a far corner of her mind and had thrown the key in a different corner._

_From then onward, she'd felt more in control._

_She'd ignored the rumors about Barry and her dating (they were a little too late), and had let Linda eye her worryingly and Cisco eye her suspiciously, unbothered._

_She'd lectured Barry about keeping things professional on set in front of Linda, to let Linda see that all she cared about was her work relationship with him._

_That was true._

_Iris was grateful that she and Barry could still work so well despite everything, because every time she and him had a photo shoot together she was closer to having the money she needed for college. It was too bad that he was going away to Star City for college, because that meant that they wouldn't make their debut in the acting world together. Well, that was karma for never telling him about the One True Queen._

_That was okay in any case, Iris and Linda would have each other plus friends from college...right? Now that she'd locked her feelings for Barry away, Iris could become a better person, someone like Linda, and she'd have more friends. Or she could fake being a better person!_

_Speaking of being a good person, now Iris understood why Barry had been so worried that she'd treat him according to who his parents and ancestors were. She understood why he'd been so worried even though he himself was a great guy._

_Ever since her confrontation with Mrs. Allen, Iris sometimes was reminded of her when she looked at Barry at work. His professional mask made him look a lot like his mom, and one time he'd faced her with it for a picture and Iris had felt shaken to her core._

_That time when he'd lectured the makeup artist and Iris had to lecture him in turn in front of Linda? Barry had sounded so much like his mother when he'd yelled at that brand employee, so much so that Iris had felt bad for the lady, even though she'd been so rude. Even Linda had admitted to Iris that she'd been shocked, that Barry needed to 'chill' with his social justice warrior thing._

_But Barry wasn't his mom, Iris knew it, and she tried her best to keep that in mind every time his looks reminded her of his mom._

_The fact that he most definitely annoyed his parents by kissing a boy helped. She nonetheless would've given up a paycheck just to see Mrs. Allen's face when she heard the news that her son had kissed Hartley Rathaway..._

"What about this one?" Linda's voice brought Iris out of the whirlwind of thoughts that she couldn't keep under control nowadays because David was always asking her questions about her 'weird' relationship with 'the nerd'.

The two teenage girls were lying down on Iris' bed, browsing bridal and bridesmaid websites looking for prom dresses—better do it off season so that they wouldn't buy the same dresses as the other girls next Spring when things went on sale again.

While they debated which color would suit Linda best, Linda's phone vibrated from a series of text messages.

"Cisco is asking, no, _begging me_ for help to find a decent beard for Barry," Linda let Iris know before scoffing then typing some quick reply. "Who does he think I am, a pimp? And isn't Barry supposed to be an LGBTQ ally, anyways? He shouldn't be ashamed of being thought as gay or bisexual."

"It's kinda homophobic," Iris judged, disappointed.

"To be honest, I'm shocked that the scandal is lasting this long," Linda confessed. "But hey, that's a better rumor than Barry and you being together...right?"

"Right," Iris answered neutrally without looking away from the screen of her laptop. "Cisco shouldn't beg, anyway. It's undignified."

"Ouch, harsh!" Linda judged with a chuckle. "But isn't it hypocritical of you? You had to beg Mr. Sherloque for my internship."

"No, I didn't," Iris denied. "I negotiated it."

"Spoken like a true leader," Linda joked.

It was true though. Iris was done asking, begging and fighting for what she wanted. Either people would grant her power, or she'd move onto people who would recognize her potential for greatness and would want to contribute to that greatness.

Her meeting with Mr. Sherloque had gone better than she'd planned:

*

_"Miss West, hello! Before we get to the reason of your visit, I'd like to thank you for the effort you put in writing your essays so beautifully, even though I only evaluate you on the relevance of your analysis. Grading your work is always a treat."_

_"Thanks, Mr. Sherloque."_

_"The pleasure is mine. How may I help?"_

_"How did you know about Barry and I?"_

_"How indeed, Iris? Although Barry was a bit...overzealous while playing your romantic interest, you were nothing short but professional on school grounds."_

_"So you saw us outside of school...at Onaka?"_

_"Sounds like a Japanese restaurant, but no, I don't know where Onaka is."_

_"...my car? You saw us kissing in my car, didn't you?"_

_"Nothing to be embarrassed about, Miss West. Ah, to be young and naive again—"_

_"But, you don't even live in our neighborhood..."_

_"Indeed I do not, but my good friend Moira does."_

_"Ms. O'Connell? Ah...okay. I get it now."_

_"It seems that you do. Anything else I can help you with?"_

_"Yes. In exchange for my participation in your play, please write Linda Park a letter of recommendation so she can intern at a filming studio in two years."_

_"_ _Miss Park broke my rule of not filming the live performance you worked so hard for all summer long. Why should I recommend her to anyone if she can't follow simple rules?"_

_"Creativity is found outside the confines of rules?"_

_"Are you stating, or asking?"_

_"Mr. Sherloque, Barry and I made your musical the most successful school performance of the last ten years! He did it for a nomination that will probably get him the prestigious award for 'Most Outstanding Male Student of Central City'. That nomination is worth more than the letter of recommendation for an internship at a random filming studio."_

_"Who said that I'll nominate Mr. Allen for the award?"_

_"What? You said...no you didn't promise anything, that's true. Well, Linda's a great student, she's taken a lot of your classes. She'll be a valuable alumna. And she promised that she won't post that video, right? She told me that she promised you that. Can you forgive her, please? She admires you so much! She didn't want to say it because she thought that you'd think that she's a suck up! She's got tapes and DVDs of all your professional work!"_

_"...I guess I could forgive her. Will an internship at S.T.A.R. Studios be acceptable for Miss Park?"_

_"That's...that's your brother's company, right? I know that he isn't there all the time, but...wow. I'm sure that Linda will love that. Thank you, Mr. Sherloque."_

_"What about you, Miss West? I know several members of the selection jury for the 'Imitating Life' program."_

_"Oh...um, if after college you still think that I'm worthy of the honor—"_

_"Please, Iris, the honor will be your future mentors'. They'd be honored to have you now, you just don't qualify for the program yet. That's a nomination I'd make in a heartbeat if I could."_

_"..."_

_"I'm not flattering you, young lady. You are gifted. You only need to hone the skills I taught you these past few years, directly and indirectly."_

_"Thank you Mr. Sherloque. I'll take whatever help you can give me."_

_"I must admit that I was expecting you to refuse the favor. I'm glad that you didn't."_

_"I listened to the life lessons you gave us throughout the summer."_

_"A perfect student, indeed."_

_"Not really. You're just a great teacher."_

_"Ha! Hopefully those who watched you, Mr. Allen and Mr. Runk shine on stage will think so too."_

_"...you picked us to promote your classes?"_

_"And because you three have a great potential for acting. Chester has a lot more to learn, but it will come with time and self-confidence. As for Barry..."_

_"What about Barry? He's great!"_

_"Mr. Allen has a great potential, but he's too...impulsive as of yet. Volatile. But your talent ground his, that's obvious."_

_"Oh."_

_"It is too bad that you two have grown apart—none of my business, clearly, just expressing my professional_ _disappointment."_

_"...okay. Thank you for your time and support, Mr. Sherloque."_

_"See you in class tomorrow, Miss West."_

*

* * *

14.

"Is it okay if I film this?" Linda reacted as soon as it was clear that David's destination was the table where Barry and his friends were having lunch.

"Linda! No!" Was Iris' obvious reply before she put her food tray on their table and jogged to catch up with her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend in question almost hesitated once he was a few feet away from the table occupied by Barry, Cisco, Ryan Choi, Meena Dhawan and two more students whose names Iris didn't know. They were all wearing space-themed long-sleeve shirts. It looked like they were in uniform.

 _Nerds._ David seemed to be allergic to them, it was at the same time hilarious and disturbing. 

(It was more disturbing to Iris that the guy that everyone liked seemed to be a bit...just a little bit...prejudiced against non-Blacks too. Just slightly.)

"Allen," the football player called out, and Iris was grateful that he didn't speak too loudly. "Come here one sec."

Barry only looked up from his risotto—if that's what the school kitchen wanted to call it—when Iris got close too. 

"Well, well, if it isn't Iris West: the future queen of CC High!" Cisco greeted before Barry could. "Have you come to ask for our votes? You'll have mine, as long as you vote for _Barry Allen_ for prom king!" He ended loudly.

"Cisco!" The whole table chided him, but it was too late.

Now all eyes in the cafeteria were on them.

"Dave, let's go," Iris told her boyfriend, slipping her arm underneath his to be able to drag him away.

Without her permission, her eyes watched Barry's eyes track her movement.

"Nuh-uh, we need to settle this right now," David decided as he planted his feet to the floor. "Come on nerd, get up!"

"Dude," Cisco uttered at the same time as Iris said "come on, David!"

"I'm not going anywhere without the _king of the nerds!_ " Her boyfriend objected. "One crown isn't enough for you, Allen? Gotta steal someone else's? You white boys can't stand to see a brother win, can you?"

Really? He was saying that to Barry, of all people? _Really?_

"David!" Iris hissed.

"Or is it that you can't stand that Iris doesn't want none of y'all pale asses?" Her boyfriend speculated at a higher volume. 

Oh God.

"I know that Woodward would've loved having Iris as his Homecoming queen instead of Joan. Ain't that right, Tony?" David even addressed his teammate, raising his voice again so that half of the cafeteria could hear him.

Iris wanted to dig a deep hole, hide in it, and never come out.

"Shut up, Gregger!" Was Tony's thankfully brief response from one of the football team's tables.

"Come on Jake, leave Barry alone!" Joan demanded from a neighboring table. "You just can't stand that a nerd is more famous than you!"

A few oohs resonated across that corner of the cafeteria.

"You say that like Gregger is famous to begin with," came Malcolm's deep voice from further down the big room, eliciting more oohs along with a few 'damn!' and 'burn!'

Iris couldn't even see him, but she started dragging David away.

"Come on babe, let's go, this is childish," she tried to reason with him.

"I'm not backing down!" David asserted loudly as he jerked his arm away from her hand. "What kind of king would I be if I ran away huh? You can't just tell me to—"

"Just shut up and obey her," Barry commented, his tone so nonchalant that it took a second for Iris to realize that he'd been the one saying it.

He then stood up from his seat, and Iris felt David flinch ever so slightly.

Right, they'd never stood that close to each other, had they? The height difference was so evident from this distance—same height difference as David and Malcolm, or David and Iris' dad.

The latter was only nice to Iris' third (official) boyfriend because he was on the shorter side.

 _"I know that my baby girl can set him straight with a good hook if he tries anything funny,"_ Iris' dad had told her mom when she'd voiced her surprise at his friendliness towards the football player after he'd left the house, his belly full of _grandma_ _Esther's chicken!_

Anyways.

It really didn't matter that Barry was technically at the bottom of the high school social ladder: he was taller and indeed more famous than David and it _showed._ Despite his nerdy spaceship shirt, Barry stood as tall as if he was wearing some expensive brand.

"What'd you just say to me, _nerd?_ " The halfback questioned. "Louder for the people in the back, they're missing this circus!"

Why were boys so immature? _WHY?_

"Just to be sure," Barry spoke up louder as instructed, "you want the people in the back to know that _you're_ _a clown,_ since you're the main performer of this circus?"

Iris froze up along with David and Barry's friends, except Cisco who almost fell off his seat laughing. The people seated at tables closest to the scene exploded in laughter too, and Iris heard Malcolm shout "you've just earned my vote, Allen!"

"Wait, wait," Barry resumed, lifting a finger to interrupt David who tried to say something back.

Iris forced herself not to look back and check that Linda _was not filming this._

"Gotta stay in the context of a royal court, right?" Barry suggested as he crossed his arms over his chest. "So you're... _a fool_ , entertaining the queen, who can't tell you to fuck off because she's too nice."

"Barry!" Iris reacted, mortified, but her voice got drowned by the room's reaction to her secret ex-boyfriend's words! Everyone but the queen was entertained, it seemed!

"Stop this!" She demanded, glaring at Barry. "This is below you, below _both of you!_ " She added as she placed a hand on David's arm again. "Let's go!"

"That's all you gotta say?" Her boyfriend asked as he shook her off again. "Your nerdy coworker _disrespects me_ in front of the whole school, and all you gotta say is 'stop this'?"

"For real?" Barry and Cisco reacted at the same time while Iris gaped at David.

"I told you that I didn't like him," Linda intervened, hooking her arm around Iris and dragging her away.

"Where the hell you think you're taking my queen, Park?" David questioned as he rushed ahead of them to block their way back to their table.

Iris let out a quiet yelp as her best friend dropped her arm fast and stepped into her boyfriend's personal space.

"You keep your peasant's ass away from my sister," Linda bit out, too low for anyone other than Iris to hear.

Actually anyone who was still looking for drama was focused on Barry now, phew.

"Linda!" Iris whispered, getting sincerely overwhelmed by everything.

"Iris ain't your sister, Park, stop tripping," David argued, his voice loudly enough to carry to the surrounding tables. "Just 'cause she likes _sushi_ —"

"Go ahead David," Linda encouraged him, and her smug grin stopped Iris' in her tracks.

Only then did her brain catch up to the fact that her legs and arm had been gearing up to punch her own boyfriend. Jesus.

"Go ahead and insult me," Linda instructed David, then she raised her voice, making Iris drop her face in her hand.

Why was everyone, even _her best friend_ , making her miss the times when she had to deal with Joan's passive-aggressive bitchiness and Malcolm's condescending attitude!?

"I dare you, Gregger!" Linda provoked the captain of the football team. "Say what you were gonna say! You know, maybe that will be enough of a campaign, a demo of Iris kicking your ass! We should change the slogan to: 'Iris deserves to be queen because she will beat up any _asshole_ who tries to bully her people. Even if the asshole is her _boyfriend_!'"

"Linda!" Iris hissed when she almost cracked her neck lifting her head too fast.

"I can tell you that she's got a mean hook," Linda informed the students who were looking on with clear interest. "Ain't that right, Tony?" She spoke even louder so her voice could carry to the star of the football team.

"Y'all leave me out of your mess!" Tony reacted testily while a few students, probably from Carmichael, laughed too damn loud...ly.

Iris even saw Barry chuckle between two carefree mouthfuls of his stupid risotto.

Immature kids, _all of them!_

"Can we all calm down and talk about this in private?" Iris demanded evenly as she pulled Linda back to her side. "We don't need to give any more free entertainment to the entire school!" 

"Sorry, Your Majesty, but royal business ain't ever private!" Cisco shouted from his seat, waving at her when she glared at him.

"You should get used to this, really," Linda suggested with a mocking smirk...her eyes fixed on _David._ "Iris' always going to be more famous and more loved than you, because, I mean look at her. You thought you knew what you were getting into? Even nerds have tougher backbones than you. Still think that you have what it takes to sit right next to the One True Queen?"

Iris stared at David, hoping to catch his attention, but it remained on Linda for a while.

Long enough for Iris' eyes to stray to Barry's table, and of course those green eyes stared back at her.

At least he seemed to express some guilt for mocking Iris' boyfriend. She wished to break their texting silence so she could ask him what the heck he was thinking campaigning for prom king—when he knew that she'd been basically campaigning for her and David at the same time! Only Janet was helping. Linda was doing the bare minimum because she was convinced that Iris didn't have to lift a thumb to get her crown ever since her last modeling gig!

"You're right," David finally replied, quietly at least, but Iris' heart skipped a beat at the way he rolled his eyes at her. "This is more drama than I signed up for."

"You're dropping out of the prom election?" Iris asked, disappointment and a little bit of outrage wrapping around her chest.

"Girl, what?" He scoffed. "No, I'm dropping _you._ Can't believe that I'm saying this, but Lyndale was right to make a big deal about that picture with Allen. Y'all too comfy in those pictures, so it gave him a big head!"

Iris blinked multiple times to get her brain working so it could command her legs to step closer to her boyfriend.

"Dave," she called out quietly. "Babe, what are you even talking about? You're kidding, right?"

He had to be. He wasn't like Malcolm, he was a big fan of her modeling work. He'd bought the latest edition of 'City Chick' because Iris occupied a small corner of the cover!

"I don't even like you like that, anyways," David admitted quietly before walking away, to which Linda responded with a disgusted "asshole".

_What?_

Iris had started to fall in love with him! David was funny and easygoing and handsome and he did love reading books, so they had deep conversations about classics. Yeah, he sounded a bit prejudiced at times, but he'd apologized to Linda for his tasteless Chinese joke last time—because Linda had made fun of football _first!_ And David had promised Iris that he'd never ever joke about Linda's ethnicity again.

(Liar!)

Other than that, Iris' relationship with David was perf—okay, maybe sex would be better if he'd let Iris be on top more often, or if he made her come when he went down on her instead of just using oral for warm up, or whatever. Iris had even gone through the embarrassment of ordering faux-fur handcuffs because he was open to the idea of tying her up. She was hoping to surprise him next weekend...but that wasn't important!

What was important was that he was going to _make history_ with her! They were going to be the first All-Black royal couple of prom at CC High!

"David!" Iris slightly raised her voice so he'd hear her from the door he'd already reached before she caught up with him. "Dave, let's talk about it after class, right? Wait, you have practice later, so you should eat. There's still time for lunch—"

"Wow," he reacted, then chuckled. "And all this time I was looking up to you."

What? What did he mean?

"Y'all cheerleaders are all the same in the end: clingy," he explained as if he'd heard her thought. "Just because you quit the team don't mean you different now."

"What?" Iris reacted, baffled.

"It's alright, I'll dance with you at prom," he assured her, as if she needed assurance. "We cool, right? We don't have to be together to be king and queen anyway."

"You think that you can win the election _without my help?_ " Iris asked, incredulous.

"Errr, yeah?" He answered, scoffed some more, then walked out the door.

Iris didn't cry for yet another failed relationship. She joined Linda and the two of them rushed to finish their meal before classes started again.

The rest of the day went almost as normal for Iris. Almost.

6:17 PM

 _**BA: Sorry, should've warned you about campaigning for prom king. I didn't mean to sabotage anything**_ **_._ **

_**BA: I read about the One True Queen.** _

_**BA: I wanna help.** _

She stared at the three consecutive texts message from Barry after she was done installing her rollers. 

6:29 PM

_**Me: Help with what?** _

6:31 PM

_**BA: Desegregating Hollywood and Educating the masses through movies?**_

**_BA: Isn't that why you want to be a famous actress? We never talked about it._**

**_BA: That's part of my dream too._ **

No way, him too? All this time she and Linda could've brought him in the fold. Iris felt so dumb she wanted to cry, but she had too many other things she wanted to cry about, so she shouldn't even start.

"Wait, he said 'part of'," she told herself, and she typed up before she could double-guessed herself.

6:33 PM

_**Me: Yeah, that's my dream, and Linda's too, but she'll be a movie director.**_

_**Me: What's the other part of your dream?** _

6:34 PM

_**BA: Helping Cisco with his startup. Can't do both though. After college I'll have to pick either acting or research, depending on what he says.**_

_**BA: But Chester's going into acting too! So you'll have either or both of us join you and Linda.**_

Oh, so he didn't mind working alongside Linda? If Iris had known...

Wait.

Cisco, huh? _That,_ Iris should've known. Whatever. Iris got along with Chester very well, so she was looking forward to taking classes with him at CCU.

****6:37 PM

 _**Me: Yeah**_

**_Me: But you'll be in Star City anyways._**

He didn't answer for a few minutes.

****6:42 PM

_**BA: Yeah but I'll come home during the summer and some school breaks too. I'm still under YC.**_

_**BA: Was a pain to extend my contract.** _

Oh! That was great! Iris might not be as free during the summers because Linda had tons of ideas for her projects, but maybe Iris could work something out with Lisa for her own contract?

6:44 PM

_**Me: That's great Barry. I'll let Linda know.**_

She got brave and decided to apologize. She owed him that much.

6:45 PM

**_Me: I should've told you about my career goals, and the OTQ. Sorry. Kinda got caught up in the moment._**

**_Me: Then we weren't together anymore. Didn't think_ _you'd still care._**

That was a bit of a lie, but how else could she justify her refusing his support for the past months?

6:45 PM

_**BA: Apologies accepted.**_

_**BA: Even though that was a** _ **_terrible lie for an actress._ **

So he could tell when she was lying through text now? Great.

6:46 PM

 _**Me: Alright, it's more like I didn't want to owe you anything. No after**_ **_everything. Sorry._ **

6:46 PM

**_BA: I get it. Sorry for my childishness at the end of the summer._ **

**_BA: And during the musical._ **

Oh. Right.

6:47 PM

_**Me: Apologies accepted.**_

**_Me: And congrats on getting nominated for Best Student of the Year. I was worried that Mr. S. wouldn't help._ **

6:48 PM

_**BA: Thanks! If I win maybe I'll have greater chances for prom king.**_

Wait, what?

Oh. He didn't know that David had broken up with her. No one knew yet, except maybe half of the popular kids by now.

6:49 PM

_**Me: Don't worry about prom king. I'll help you.** _

6:49 PM

_**BA: What about David?** _

6:49 PM

_**Me: You'll be king and I'll be queen, Barry.** _

_**Me: Don't worry about the others candidates.** _

She should feel powerful saying stuff like that, shouldn't she? But she was so tired and heartbroken still. Maybe later, when she got the crown, she would feel accomplished.

Barry typed and erased his reply a few times before sending his final one.

6:51 PM

_**BA: Okay. Thanks!** _

_**BA: Okay to keep texting?**_

_**BA: I miss you.** _

He shouldn't say stuff like that. She didn't know how to say 'only as friends' without sounding dismissive or vain. Of course he was over her now. For good this time. He had a girlfriend now. Becky Cooper, of all girls. Iris had thought that it was just to quiet down the rumors that he was gay, but they were still together two quarters later.

Did Barry know that Becky had slept with Tony, among other football players? And maybe even David...no, Iris shouldn't judge Becky like that! It was so sexist! She'd never cared about her boyfriends having slept with many other girls, not even Barry whom she'd believed to be a former player!

6:57 PM

_**BA: Just ignore me if the answer is no.** _

It wasn't no, but...

6:58 PM

_**Me: Okay to keep texting if you don't say things like "I miss you" again.** _

Iris didn't need false hope. Actually there was no false hope. Her feelings were locked away in some dark corner of her mind, in a box that was already catching dust. Forgotten for all of eternity. 

6:58 PM

_**BA: Does that mean that you won't give me another chance?** _

_**BA: After college?** _

_**BA: Only if you're single when we graduate, of course.** _

Iris started crying then. Quietly, because her dad was already home.

He was making grandma Esther's noodle dish, as if he'd sensed that she needed to drown her sorrow in good food.

That gave her the strength to reply despite her blurry vision. 

6:59 PM

_**Me: I told you, I want a dramatic proposal and a big wedding.** _

_**Me: That's never happening with your mom.** _

7:00 PM

_**Me: I don't think that my parents would approve, anyways.** _

7:00 PM

_**BA: We don't need their approval.** _

_**BA: Let's elope!** _

7:01 PM

_**Me: Read my mind!** _

Typing, erasing, typing erasing...

7:03 PM

_**BA: That was worse than you joking about my bondage kink.** _

7:03 PM

 **_Me: Sorry_** ****

7:03 PM

_**BA: No, it's my fault for being clingy. Won't happen again, I promise.** _

**_BA: Gotta go. Slacking on a live tournament. Still better than half of the players while using just one hand._**

7:04 PM

**_Me: If you spent half the time you reserve for video games to practice ASL, you'd be fluent by now._ **

7:05 PM

**_BA: I've made progress!_ **

**_BA: Never mind. I don't know how to sign that._**

**_BA: Are you working tomorrow?_ **

7:06 PM

**Me: No, thank God. Everyone's been gushing about your swimming pool shoot, by the way. For Education, right? Congrats.**

**Me: How indecent is it? Don't make people die from exsanguination, a.k.a nosebleed.**

7:07 PM

**BA: That's such an anime reference.**

**BA: You're a nerd in disguise, Your Majesty.**

7:08 pm

**Me: You wish, Your Majesty!**

* * *

15.

(Four years later)

"Did I miss the 'cut'?" Iris heard one of the lights guys ask in a whisper.

She was wondering the same. What was Mr. Sherloque waiting for?

It didn't show, but Iris was tired. The Alumni and Friends Give Back event the day before had been great but exhausting...

Oh.

See, she really was tired, because she was _supposed to know_ why the camera was still rolling: the improvised scene! Mr. Sherloque had told her and Barry yesterday:

*

_"Keith would like some...authenticity added to the commercial, since it's so simple."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"I did not promise him anything, but if you go beyond and above to make the commercial a little bit more eyecatching, especially to your fans since he's aware that you two are quite famous locally...here's how much Keith is willing to compensate you for your efforts."_

_"Holy sh—I mean, what do you think, Iris?"_

_"Define 'beyond and above'?"_

_"Keith left the creative process to me, but I'm not quite certain that my idea will fit his vision, nor the overall tone of the story. See, Keith and his wife Leslie decided to marry without their respective parents' approval, so I was thinking of a scene when you two sneak out at night with bags and suitcases?"_

_"That's kinda...cliché."_

_"Dramatically so, Mr. Sherloque. No offense."_

_"None taken, considering that I am a play director. But this commercial isn't a play. I'm a bit out of my depth here. I would've asked for Miss Park's help, but—"_

_"No!"/"Don't!"_

_"...as I suspected. In any case, at this stage of the project, there is no budget for a co-director, nor for new actors, hence my suggestion for a sneak out scene."_

_"What about...a scene where the two characters text each other about eloping?"_

_"Oh?"_

_"Barry! No!"_

_"No one will know that it's real! Right, Mr. Sherloque?"_

_"Only me, and Keith will be aware that something about your performance is authentic, but he won't know what."_

_"I'm confused. Mr. Kenyon gave you all this money just for one vague 'authentic' detail to the commercial?"_

_"Well, he wants a little mis-en-scène too. Some improvised 'plot twist', however contradictory that request is."_

_"Kisses will be expected, so an improvised extra kiss won't surprise anyone. Barry's good with those."_

_"Wow, holding onto grudges much? The school musical is still the most acclaimed performance at CC High in now fourteen years!"_

_"That unscripted kiss added no-thing to the overall greatness of the performance!"_

_"We don't know that!"_

_"...are you two back together?"_

_"Of course not!"_

_"_... _that was quick and unnecessarily harsh."_

_"What? You're taken!"_

_"Says who?"_

_"Wait! You broke up with Becky?"_

_"...not officially, I guess? I should talk to her."_

_"Ahem!"_

_"Sorry!"/"Sorry."_

_"About that texting scene?"_

_"Right. I still have my old phone, that will help with the time skip, right?"_

_"What about you, Miss West? We do have the budget to buy an old cellphone."_

_"No need! My parents nagged me about picking up all my old electronics just the other day. Being a hoarder is finally paying."_

_"Great pun."_

_"What pun?"_

_"The paying part. You're literally getting money for using old stuff you hoarded."_

_"...I forgot that Mr. Sherloque already knows what a dork you are. 'The king of the dorks' is what you should've been nicknamed!"_

_"You're the one who came up with 'king of the nerds', that makes you a greater dork than me!"_

_"Alright you two! Thank you for this fruitful discussion, but I have classes and meetings to prepare for. I'll see you tomorrow!"_

*

Iris had expected Barry to try something during the wedding ceremony scene, but it had gone smoothly, for a fake, quaint and honestly boring scene. They'd just mouthed generic vows.

It was easy for Iris to be detached from it all, despite her and Barry's history, because not only were they still very professional on set, but also because this wedding commercial was far from what Iris envisioned for herself. Re-reading that conversation she'd had with Barry on the day that David had broken up with her had almost made her say no to Tony's invitation to a date.

But Tony was such an easy, drama-free pick for a boyfriend. Honestly, Iris was just going to resolve the odd sexual tension between them, which had come out of nowhere during graduation. They'd bumped into each other multiple times since their last names started with w, and Tony had definitely complimented her more than he'd ever done in high school. Plus, Iris was tired of flings, almost as much as she was tired of defending herself and Linda's choices to make diversity and social justice the focuses of all their projects.

Iris remembered what a breeze dating Jake had been, until her sexual inexperience and uncontrollable infatuation for Barry had ruined everything. She wanted that easy simplicity again. Yes, Tony was white, but she knew him: he was 'colorblind'. His only awareness of racism was probably from Carmichael with Barry's mother—

Iris forced herself to look occupied at the set dining table despite hearing Linda gasp from somewhere.

Movement in her peripheral vision and the sound of steps made her look to her right, and she didn't have to fake looking slightly surprised when she saw Barry approach with a bouquet of golden roses.

They were gorgeous! How had she missed them on the set? Could she keep them afterwards? Her still new living room needed extra colors.

Iris kissed Barry thank you for the flowers, expecting Mr. Sherloque to say cut right there. But he didn't?

Shock and curiosity didn't make her forget to showcase the wedding band on her left hand as Barry brought another black velvet from behind his back, and opened it to reveal a diamond ring.

Iris was wondering if the diamond came from the same jeweler that made the wedding bands, because she'd browsed their website for fun and hadn't seen it...then she heard Linda get agitated, her "oh my God, oh my God!" spreading around the room.

That warned Iris that this was more than an improvised scene for the commercial.

This was not fake. Barry was about to kneel to...

She grabbed his arms and lifted him back up before his knee could touch the floor, and laughed _obnoxiously hard,_ panicking a bit when Barry didn't play along for one, two, three seconds—

Then he visibly chuckled, snapped the little black box shut and turned around to ask Mr. Sherloque if that was good enough for the plot twist. That made most of the other actors and set up people laugh and clap, but Iris saw that Linda was still half-panicked half-excited in the back.

"Guess that's a 'no'," Barry whispered, his dejection only appearing in his eyes when they were about to split up to head to their respective dress rooms.

Iris blanked out for long seconds, because she really didn't know what to say.

They'd remained good friends 'from work' throughout their college years. Their 'West-Allen' fame had suffered an unexpected hiatus when Barry had switched to a Star City modeling agency that was less accommodating than YC, but then the company had been hit by a scandal and Barry had been able to basically go free-lance and their shared fame had gone up, at least in Central City.

Just a month ago, Iris and Barry had seen their first shared cover magazines sell out in no time, _both of them—_ Gossip and Entertainment _—_ the results of the first modeling gigs where Iris had been better paid than Barry.

And yes, Iris had felt the urge to have a celebratory kiss with Barry when she'd heard the news...no, who was she kidding, she'd craved _celebratory sex._ It would've made that week the best in her life, because those big checks had helped her pay the student loans that she'd had to take after all for her last school year at CCU.

But Barry had been with Becky, he officially still was with Becky. And just like Iris had refused to be 'that girl' for a dumb one-night stand then, she refused to throw away years of knowing better now.

She would have her real, epically romantic relationship some day, one that would lead to a dramatic proposal and a huge wedding.

Just _not with Barry._ Iris' feelings for him were still fairly secure in that box.

Barry on the other hand had never put a lid on his feelings for her; he'd just hidden them behind his professional mask—so they kinda showed when the mask slipped off now and then.

So, in an attempt not to be too blunt about rejecting his proposal, Iris settled for: "Can we talk about it later? Your place?"

"Sure," he answered neutrally, knowingly, before walking away.

Iris entered her dress room and left the door ajar as she started removing her makeup. Linda joined her when she was done, smelling strong of tobacco.

Iris knew that she'd messed up, but to the point of making her best friend smoke again?

"That was my first time smoking since I broke up with Ian," Linda announced before she closed the door. "Because he cheated on me repeatedly and hid it for months. Remember?"

"Linda!" Iris exclaimed, fear seizing her heart. "It's not the same!"

"You're right," Linda agreed with two nods before pulling out her phone. "This is _so much worse_."

"What?" Iris reacted, shocked.

"But! I enabled your sneaky secrecy in a way, I know that," Linda amended. "I own up to it. So here's what I'm going to do."

Iris swallowed and started tightening her jaw already.

What had she done? What had she been doing _for years,_ keeping her best friend, her sister, in the dark about the truth of her relationship with Barry?

"I'm going to block your number for some time," Linda announced, her voice watery. "For how long? I can't say right now, it will depend on how satisfied I'll be with the answers that you give me in a minute."

"Linda," Iris whispered, and she let her jaw go slack and her tears build up in her eyes.

"I love you too much not to forgive you, Iris," her best friend reassured her with a shrug. "Plus, we have tons of projects to work on together. That won't be affected, our semi-professional relationship. I might get prickly, so forgive me in advance, but I know for sure that you're _excellent at being all professional_ , right? I mean, just fifteen minutes ago you made a genuine marriage proposal look like a planned improvisation...oxymoron and all."

"I..."

"Three questions and I'll leave after you answer them," Linda instructed as she leaned against the wall by the door. "You can make the answers as long as you want, but I'm sure that Barry needs answers of his own. God, that nerd never ceases to amaze me."

Iris didn't know what to say, so she waited for the first question.

"Why did you and Barry first sleep together?" Was not what Iris had expected, but she should've expected nothing less from her amazing best friend.

That was the most open-ended question that she could've asked.

So Iris gave her as many details about the events leading to her and Barry learning that they'd been in love with each other the entire time: his arm tattoo and how it was only after she realized that he hadn't understood her that they'd stopped being close friends; his shoulder tattoo and her own tattoos; Barry's epiphany during the paintball photo shoot; their car conversation and their first two weeks of dating; then a very brief summary of the evening of their first time.

"It wasn't until a month later that we confessed that we were each other's firsts," Iris felt the need to add, because she'd always felt terrible for making it sound like David was her first.

"I knew it!" Linda quickly reacted, a bit too cheerfully with a little fist pump, but she quickly cleared her throat and assumed a serious expression again.

"Why did you not say 'yes' to Barry?" She then asked, and was Iris that tired, or did Linda look like she actually knew the answer?

Because Iris didn't. In the past few minutes she'd been quizzing her head and her heart and she couldn't tell herself why marrying Barry _felt wrong._

Maybe it was the fact that she'd promised Tony a date? No way: Tony didn't mean that much to Iris. Not yet, and probably not ever.

What about the fact that Barry had felt free to propose to her when he hadn't even officially broken up with Becky? Yes, it sounded like their relationship had been fake all along, what with the strong impression that Barry considered himself single, which Iris had picked up on when they'd talked with Mr. Sherloque yesterday. But still. 

"I don't know, Lin," Iris therefore answered, then winced at the deep frown that her best friend gave her.

"Try again, Iris Ann West," Linda insisted in a flat, edgy tone. "Because Allen's going to ask you that question too, and I won't let you ruin your professional relationship because you'll refuse to be honest with him. I just started writing my West-Allen masterpiece. Don't kill my dream before I'm even done conceiving it."

"Professional relationship, exactly!" Iris echoed a bit angrily, at Barry not Linda. "That's what Barry and I agreed upon, the day that David broke up with me! I even re-read our entire conversation and—see for yourself!"

Iris pulled out her old phone from her purse and gave it to her best friend after bringing up her chat with Barry.

"Wait, the phone you used for that office scene _is_ your phone from high school?" Linda realized. "That's my key—Oh my God, when Mr. Sherloque said based on a true story, I thought he meant Goldface's story with his wife!"

"The story is about them, yeah," Iris confirmed with a shrug, "but that one detail is about us. Mr. Sherloque said that it would mean a lot to Mr. Kenyon for the commercial to have some 'authenticity'."

"Iris, your parents might recognize your phone," Linda warned while reading the conversation. "The blue-bearded iris keychain: I gave it to you in front of them! I made it myself, they know that it can't be a replica, not for something last minute like this!"

"I know," she replied with a long sigh. "I haven't even told them about this. They'll see the commercial when they'll see the commercial. I'll play it cool, they'll be none the wiser. The last minute circumstances are a good justification for using personal stuff, right? Like, we didn't have time to wait for props to be made."

Linda nodded, twice, then returned her old phone.

"Before I give you the reality check that Barry had all the rights to propose," she announced seriously before a Cheshire smile suddenly stretched her lips, "please tell me that you actually gave that bondage kink a try."

"Linda!" Iris reacted, her face heating up right away at the rush of memories about being tied up in Barry's Missouri queen sleigh bed.

"The king of the nerds tying up the One True Queen," Linda said with a dreamy tone, "and fucking her while she's all helpless. Damn, that's some hot porn right there—"

"Linda!" Iris repeated, hiding her face behind her hands while her best friend cackled.

"Alright, alright, I'll stop," Linda promised when she calmed down. "But girl, read that convo again, carefully. You never said that you wouldn't give him another chance after college. You said that your requirements were a dramatic proposal and a big wedding, which wouldn't happen with his mom. I wanna ask why his mom in particular and not both parents, but I'll save that question for when we're on speaking terms again."

"Linda, what?" Iris reacted, saddened. "I'm so sorry, Lin, really! I should've told you, I know—"

"Who else knows? That's my third and last question." Linda announced firmly.

"Just you!" Iris answered immediately. "Barry, you and I, that's it. Ah, Mr. Sherloque knew that we were dating back then, but that's all he knew, because he caught us kissing once."

"Well damn," Linda whispered. "Ah, that explains the authenticity thing."

"But Barry didn't tell _Cisco_ anything!" Iris rushed to add. "Nothing that wasn't already obvious."

Her heart soared when Linda visibly relaxed upon learning that truth. She smiled as she nodded in acknowledgment.

"Well, good," she commented. "I suggest you two keep it that way until you're ready to let Barry give you the tender loving care that you deserve, Iris. When he's ready to commit to you, that is. No friends from work with benefits like I used to say. _The real deal,_ okay, babe? Nothing less."

Then she tapped on her phone—blocking Iris' number—and gripped the door handle.

"Linda, please!" Iris pleaded as she took a step towards her. "Tell me what to do—"

"It's not about you," her best friend let her know with a shake of her head. "This is about me taking the time to internalize the truth that I'm not the best friend I've believed myself to be, that you not telling me about Barry is a reflection on my trustworthiness, or lack thereof."

"Of course you're a trustworthy friend!" Iris assured her. "Linda, I never said—"

"Your actions _,_ over the span of _fourteen years,_ do say something _,_ Iris!" Linda argued. "I know that I've been a good friend, but I also know that I could've been a _better friend_ if I'd pushed you a little bit! If I'd prodded a little more every time I had doubts. Like when I questioned why you never cried, remember? Until then, I thought that you were this invincible girl, the Strong Black Woman, before either of us knew about that trope. But you're not! You're strong but you're fragile too, you have a big heart but you've done selfish things, you embody dignity but you are capable of pettiness...I get to see your flaws while your millions of fans don't, and it seemed that Barry did have that privilege too, pun not intended."

Iris did her best to reign in the tears threatening to fall. She didn't want to fake being strong in front of Linda, never in front of Linda, but why should she break down when she wasn't the one feeling betrayed?

"Wait, no, Allen did more than just watch you be a flawed teenager," Linda claimed. "He actively influenced your behavior, actively _contributed_ to your rise and fall, didn't he? Professionally, he built up the One True Queen, but personally, emotionally, he _broke you down,_ Iris! And who did you choose as a rebound when it was over between you two? David fucking Gregger."

Iris let her tears fall then, because _that_ still hurt.

"And I couldn't lend you my shoulder when things ended with Barry, I had no idea that David was a rebound, because you. Told. Me. Nothing!" Linda emphasized, her voice breaking.

"Linda," Iris could only utter her name.

"I also know that this isn't just about me not being the best friend I should've been," Linda resumed more calmly. "This is about _you_ not trusting Barry, and _you not trusting yourself_ when it comes to him. All that pining for him when you were dating other guys—God, Iris, how did you hide that self-loathing? You really were born to be an actress."

"Thanks," Iris replied, not offended because she knew that Linda meant no offense saying that.

"Do you truly not know why you didn't say yes, why you didn't even let him ask?" Linda questioned, and Iris shook her head no. "Barry Allen is a wonderful guy, and I believe that he could love you the way you deserve, the way you've always deserved, Iris. And I bet that your head and your heart are all in. But your gut is fighting them, isn't it? Your reaction-time to his proposal was way too quick for you not have gone into a flight or fight mode there. _Why,_ Iris? He was proposing in a dramatic way, just like you told him you wanted!"

"I don't know, Lin!" Iris admitted, her tears rolling down her cheeks harder as her heart broke for more reasons than she could articulate.

Linda had taken more sociology courses than her in college, and a lot of random women studies courses, so it stood to reason that she understood human behavior better than her. Iris welcomed any explanation, theory or piece of advice.

"Well then," Linda replied with a huff. "Consider this my gift as your best friend 2.0.: your gut doesn't trust Barry Allen because, despite all the wholesome goodness, social justice activism and sexy nerdiness going on for him, he made you his _secret_ best friend, his _secret_ girlfriend—"

"Dating in secret was my idea!" Iris defended.

"Because you knew that he wouldn't fight for you against his parents," Linda claimed, too calmly for Iris. 

Too calmly, when her words were shattering Iris' world in a million pieces as she realized that yes, Barry should've been the one fighting for their love, _not her._ She wasn't the one with the bigot parents, she had nothing to make up for.

_"Would you be okay waiting for me to turn eighteen to ask you out?"_

_"Does that mean that you won't give me another chance?_ _After college?"_

All this time, Barry's _cowardice_ had stared her in the face, and she'd been blind to it. She'd thought that she was the one who needed to fight, maybe because Barry had already been a staunch social activist, more than was expected from a privileged white boy. So he'd had nothing to prove, right? He already fought the good fight.

He'd only become more active over the past years: he'd guilt-tripped his maternal family into opening a foundation meant to compensate Star City cops who volunteered after hours to maintain order and peace in the roughest neighborhoods of the city, inhabited predominantly by people of color. He'd taken advantage of the positive feedback on that good deed to inform his fans of his family's history. Of course the majority of people had been sympathetic to his shame, more so because he'd emphasized that he wasn't the victim in the story.

No, he wasn't the victim of the story. _At all._

"After all, why has he been fake-dating Becky Cooper for four fucking years, huh?" Linda added. "Originally."

"To pacify his parents about kissing Hartley Rathaway," Iris remembered.

But Barry had made up for that homophobic move ever since: he'd let paparazzi catch him in a compromising position with Hartley just a few weeks back. But instead of defending himself from Spencer Young's bold claim that he was a closeted bisexual (that girl got on Iris' nerves so badly!) Barry had posted pictures of himself and Hartley at suit and tie events, and had posted shots of his arm tattoo in _rainbow ink,_ (Iris' art work! Which was fine, she was an ally too) and had reposted tons of posts from LGBTQA activist groups.

Why could Barry fight for others, but not for Iris, huh? The nerves of him, proposing _now!_

"Alright, I can leave in peace now that you have that fire in your eyes," Linda commented with a firm nod. "You'll let me know how it goes?"

"When will you unblock me?" Iris almost begged, a fresh flow of tears threatening to gush out.

But, knowing that Linda wouldn't appreciate her playing the victim, she put herself together: she stood straighter, tightened her jaw, and briefly looked to the side before looking her best friend in the eye.

"Whenever you're ready, Lin, of course," she answered her own question. "I'll be there."

"With Tony Woodward at your arm," Linda guessed, wrinkling her nose before she sighed in resignation. "Oh well. He's been pining for you for just as long as Barry, but he doesn't have all the weird baggage. Good compromise, I guess. You need to get laid on the regular anyways. So do I. I'll take advantage of my me time to find myself a boo, too. And write more of my dream movie. So don't you go severe your professional ties with Barry Allen, okay?"

"I won't," Iris promised with a firm nod of her own. "You've taught me better. I won't disappoint you Linda, especially not after this."

She blinked when Linda blinked first.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"You just inspired me for a scene," Linda admitted before she started typing on her phone, but also started exiting the room "You were born for this, Iris, I'm telling you! Love you!"

"Love you, Linda," Iris replied with as little sadness and regret in her voice that she could manage without faking it completely.

* * *

16.

"This is the place I wanted us to get when I..." Barry started but trailed off, cutting short Iris' (not so) subtle inspection of his nice condo. 

Of course it was bigger than her two bedroom. It looked like he had three bedrooms?

"I don't understand, Barry," Iris half-lied. "You're officially still with Becky, how could you just spring that proposal on me?"

"You know that our relationship is fake," he pointed out. "I didn't let it slip on purpose, but I know that you caught that."

" _Yesterday!_ " Iris specified. "Don't you feel a little...entitled, jumping from your fake girlfriend to your secret ex-girlfriend in less than twenty-four hours?"

He gaped at her, and Iris couldn't believe how such a smart guy could be so clueless at times.

"And you say 'fake relationship', but it's not like you've never fucked Becky," Iris brought up a subject she'd avoided even thinking about until now. "Dating her was believable enough that it probably earned you more votes from the popular kids than your stunt with David at the cafeteria did."

"High school? You're bringing up _high school,_ Iris?" Barry asked, incredulous.

"What else should I bring? We haven't been that close since then!" Iris argued.

"No way, Iris," Barry denied with multiple shakes of his head, his professional mask going up. "Don't make it sound like I'm some...creepy, obsessed stalker. Not you. Please."

Huh?

"When have I ever said or acted like I saw you that way?" Iris asked, dumbfounded.

That seemed to catch him off guard, and his masked slipped, but he stepped away from her to basically collapse into an armchair.

O-kay?

Something was wrong here.

"Barry?"

"Sorry," he sighed while rubbing his forehead. "For everything, Iris. You're right, this isn't...even though I'm confident that we've been closer than you claim..."

"Alright, yes, we're definitely friends," Iris admitted, and added carefully, "with a worrying amount of sexual tension that thankfully gets the politically correct term of 'chemistry'."

Normally the joke would make Barry laugh, but he only responded to it with a weak smile before dropping his face in his hands. So Iris took a seat in the armchair next to his and leaned towards him...only to gasp when she heard him sob quietly.

"Barry, what's going on?" She asked quietly, avoiding contact because she knew that she'd just be tempted to hug him and _she knew better._

He shook his head (meaning that he couldn't talk right now) then he took one hand away from his face to spell **I** and **G** in **ASL.**

"I G?" Iris repeated out loud, understanding dawning on her. "Instagram? You want me to look at instagram?"

She quickly took out her phone when he nodded, keeping her eyes on his slightly shaky hand when he signed **'search'** in front of his hidden face.

**W-E-S-T-dash-A-L-O-N-E.**

"What?" Iris reacted, but typed 'West-Alone' anyways, certain that Barry couldn't have misspelled his own last name.

She gaped at the page that had more followers than her own—not more followers than the West-Allen page which she managed, and certainly not more followers than Barry's own individual page, but still...wow.

More shocking was the content of the posts on that page.

Jesus.

_What in the world?_

That so-called fan mail from over four years ago about the history of Barry's family had been disturbing and emotionally abusive _towards Iris,_ but that Instagram page?

That was plain cyber bullying, and Barry was the unequivocal victim of their attacks. How could they do it with impunity, though? Wasn't this a crime?

"Barry, why haven't you asked a lawyer or Cisco to—never mind," she started asking but cut off her own question when she tapped on 'more' to read the full introduction of the page:

> **Exposing the talentless Barry Allen for who he truly is: an obsessed creep stalking the beautiful and brilliant Iris West.**
> 
> **Any copyrighted material is used for limited and “transformative” purpose, to comment upon under "fair use". We are U.S. based and express our opinions on fact-checked information, as is our right under the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.**
> 
> **Barry Allen might use his white male** **privilege or 'nerd' power to shut us down. We'll gladly sue. There's nothing more rewarding than making money from your passion.**

"Shit," Iris couldn't help but curse as she scrolled through posts and comments. She thankfully didn't recognize any of her fans' usernames, but still...that was a lot of people talking trash about Barry.

"Thanks for cursing," Barry finally spoke up, his voice all croaked, as he finally emerged from behind his other hand.

He looked _so miserable._ Iris couldn't remember feeling so sad for anyone else except Maya.

"I bought the ring for later," Barry said out of the blue.

Oh. He was explaining why he'd proposed.

"I remember what you said, very clearly," he let her know. "A dramatic proposal, a huge wedding with all your family in attendance...and my parents would just have to join in on the festivities because we'd be so rich and famous that they'd look bad being against our happiness."

Yeah, she remembered saying it, of course. She just...she'd given up on Barry being the one waiting for her at the end of the aisle?

"We're not rich and famous yet," Barry kept going.

"Excuse you?" Iris scoffed before waving a hand around to encompass his condo. "Doing pretty well for yourself here, Allen."

"West-Allen," he corrected her, and for a wild second she thought that he meant that he'd change his name if they got married.

But of course that's not what he meant.

"We're not famous as a pair, not outside of Central City," Barry specified, then frowned, "Iris, even with this commercial I'm not considered famous. Come on, you know the requirements. _Our requirements._ "

"Starring in a blockbuster movie as the main characters," Iris started listing. "Ideally the movie would be one of Linda's and she would be nominated for it along with us. But Barry, that's not happening before, I don't know, at least five years. So much can happen in that time frame. So much _needs_ to happen in that time frame." 

"I know, I know," he agreed with a couple nods before letting his head drop to the back of the armchair. "I need to settle things down with my parents and talk to Becky. We haven't talked since we returned from college..."

"Really, Bartholomew?" Iris chided him, feeling outraged for Cooper.

That girl had helped him deal with his bigot parents, had followed him to a different state, had stood in the background while he'd enjoyed incredibly glamorous college years with Felicity Smoak, who'd introduced him to the one and only Oliver Queen...and _that's_ how he thanked her? The silence treatment?

"Why do you sound mad?" Barry asked, oblivious. "I know that I've been a coward with you, about us! But I've changed, Iris!"

Easy to say now!

But now that she was in Barry's new home, in the place he'd daydreamed to share with her back in the day, Iris understood. 

"Like I said earlier, you're a bit too entitled!" Iris answered. "It has nothing to do with these dumb conspiracy theorists who think that you mean me harm or whatever. It's about you thinking that _my_ world revolves around _you_ , Barry. It does not!"

"O-of course I know that!" He claimed as he sat up and twisted in his seat to face her fully. "But, Iris, we're partners—"

"Professionally, yes!" She specified. "But maybe we don't need to be, not anymore?"

She knew that this was going against her promise to Linda, but what the hell? She was used to patronizing attitude from men, from white men, but Barry _Allen?_

No way, she couldn't deal with that.

"Iris you don't mean that," he had the gall to say in return.

"I might regret my words later, true," she admitted, "but this commercial? I think that this is it, that's the apex of our partnership, the highest point of the West-Allen wave, the greatest achievement under our alliance as the rulers of our respective kingdoms—listen to me sounding all medieval fantasy-type of nerdy. Anyways, we probably won't—"

"Wait, wait, wait," he requested, reaching out with his hand but drawing it back when Iris tilted her head in warning, a forbidding look in her eyes just to make it clear that she did not want any more physical contact between them today.

They'd touched, hugged, and kissed more than enough while filming the commercial. She wouldn't have minded, she could've compartmentalized all their interactions under 'work' as usual, but then he'd gone and tried to _propose_ _for real!_

"All this time...to you, we've been the king and queen of different kingdoms?" He questioned, his eyes wide with shock. "Allies, not _co-rulers?_ "

She appreciated his use of the term 'co-rulers' rather than 'married' or whatever would heavily hint at them being romantically involved, but she still couldn't help her dry laugh.

"Yes, Barry, different, _neighboring_ kingdoms," she reiterated, stressing out on the word 'neighboring'. "Because that's the only reason why you and I are this close, emotionally and mentally: because we were in physical proximity growing up."

"Well, yes, but—"

"No but," she cut him off. "Barry, I agree that you not fighting for us was cowardly, but I understand now, just like I understood back then that going against your mom was more trouble than a teenage summer love affair was worth." 

"What'd you say?" Barry immediately reacted, as expected. "Our relationship wasn't some summer fling! We were making _long-term plans!_ "

"Like you and Cisco?" Iris tried to be as gentle as possible as she remembered seeing her fellow alumn on the cover magazine of 'Entrepreneurs'...last fall.

Cisco had graduated from CCU in three years, and had created his startup in his last semester. He hadn't waited for Barry, Iris had seen him at her last Career Fair on campus recruiting for geneticists and _biochemists._

"He never even meant to..." Barry started, and sighed again, then switched to **Spanish. "He claimed that he didn't want to make me choose between him and my parents. I had to borrow money from Oliver to lend it to Cisco because he was way ahead of schedule!"**

"Ah," Iris reacted mildly, not surprised that Cisco had gone ahead and started living his dream without his best friend—was Barry still his best friend? Every time Iris had seen Cisco on campus, he'd been stuck at the hip with a girl who Iris knew wasn't his girlfriend because she'd sometimes been with her boyfriend. She was an actress too, Iris had even taken classes with her. What was her name?

Anyways.

"I've changed, Iris, I promise," Barry reiterated. 

"Has your mother changed too?" She asked rhetorically. "I can laugh about it now, and no offense, but she's crazy."

"Please don't say that," he chided her in a knee-jerk response, looking as shocked as her by his own words. "Sorry, it's just...she's got a serious mental illness."

WHAT?

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" Iris apologized right away.

"No worries, I'm the one who overreacted," he reassured her. 

Iris didn't know enough about mental illness to speculate, but...

"But yes, what you saw in high school was her _normal behavior_ ," Barry explained, easily reading her mind. "That was just her being racist."

"Oh."

Barry sighed again. 

"And while it's true that my hands were tied once she threatened me the way I feared she would, I should've defended you better, Iris—"

"It's in the past, Barry," Iris reminded him.

"No, that was unacceptable," he insisted. "I've defended faceless strangers on the internet more passionately than I defended my own girlfriend that day!"

Hindsight was great, wasn't it? It still didn't change the past. It didn't change the fact that Iris' feelings were still were she'd left them, in that box.

"I'm ashamed to say that I...saw you, and treated you, like a Strong Black Woman all along, despite myself," Barry confessed. "I was shocked to see you being intimidated by my mom, looking scared—"

"I wasn't scared," Iris reassured him. "I had to fake the fearful look, otherwise I would've laughed at her. That would've led to something worse, I'm sure. I don't know how you endured...well that's a lie, I know that you mostly did fine living with your parents because at the end of the day, they love you."

"No, they don't!" Barry denied.

"Yes, they do!" She insisted. "Yeah they've made terrible mistakes, like not making sure that you had a good social life at Carmichael after your mom made a scene, but other than that..."

"How can you say that, Iris?" Barry questioned, his voice strung up in outrage. " _You_ of all people?"

"Because I've benefited the most from the upbringing you received from them!" She replied firmly. "Barry, you're a good person. Do you believe that yourself?"

"...I do?" He answered, sounding uncertain.

"And except for visits to your extended family in Star City during the holidays, who else could've raised you to be this good person: your babysitters? No, your parents did the—"

" _It was you!_ " Barry claimed. "Iris, what the hell? You're the reason why I didn't turn like my parents! You know that racism is socially passed down from parents to children, you've known that since Mr Johnson's—"

"No, no, Barry, as much as I'd like to take credit for your great personality, I can't," she denied with a sad smile. "Barry, you were kind, sweet and smart when I officially met you at six years old. So much of who you are today was already there, before we became friends."

"No, that's not..." he tried to reject the idea, but Iris kept going.

"Barry, you were also hopelessly romantic back then, just like me," she suddenly realized. "Remember your birthday gift to me at summer camp? A meteor shower _and_ fireflies! I didn't know where to look! It was _magical_."

It really had been magical. Oh wow, how had she forgotten that night? It really felt like a beautiful dream, now.

"Oh," he reacted quietly, then went all cute blushing from his ears. "I...think I already had a crush on you, but I wasn't trying to...it just felt natural..."

"I don't know how you're ever going to top that one," Iris joked, and they both chuckled. "Your greatest competition is your seven-year-old self!"

"Unbelievable," he quipped with a playful eye roll.

Was it unbelievable, truly? Back then, Barry had also been willing to fight with Iris against bullies, and he'd climbed up walls that were off-limits. He'd been shorter than most of their peers, shorter than Iris, but he'd been so brave and so loyal.

So maybe Barry Allen was _inherently good,_ and his parents had ruined him a bit. They'd made him a coward when it came to Iris. He'd been too young to conceive the idea of going against his parents' wishes, and his normal, expected fear of disappointing his mom and dad had lingered even after he'd started denouncing their bigotry. That just confirmed that Nora and Henry Allen were responsible for who Barry was today.

"I'll always cherish our time together, Barry," Iris promised with a soft smile. "But I was your first girlfriend, yet you knew how to make me swoon...you were the best boyfriend a teenage girl could hope for. Where did you learn to have a healthy romantic relationship, um?"

She saw the reluctant acknowledgment settle in his teary green eyes.

"They don't love me, Iris," he insisted nonetheless. "If they did, how could they forbid me to be friends with someone they knew I cared so much for?"

"They eventually let you be friends with Chester and Meena, and now you're best friend with Cisco, right?" She gently countered. "To the point that you gave him money when you had none of your own to give...he didn't know?"

"I couldn't lie to him about the reason why my mom was withholding my own money from me," Barry let her know. "Some love she has, right?"

"Okay, that's terrible, yeah, sorry," Iris apologized. "But hey, I'm glad that you didn't have to give up on acting. You're talented, Barry, truly. Those lunatics are no fans of mine, they're just your haters, okay? They're jealous of you."

"And I wanted to make them even more jealous by announcing our engagement," he unexpectedly confessed, a furious blush invading his face before he massaged the space between his eyebrows. "Oh God, I'm such a loser! All this careful planning, all these years of waiting to be with you again, and I ruined it all by acting impulsively like some petty teenager!"

"Well," Iris reacted, disappointed for him but actually fine herself since she'd listened to her gut before it had been too late this time. "I'm glad that I stopped you from doing something that you would've quickly regret—"

"What? No!" Barry exclaimed loudly. "How could I ever regret asking you to marry me, Iris? _I love you!_ I'm loving you more and more every day, every time I interact with you and marvel anew at what a generous, talented, hard-working—"

"I'm going to date Tony," was the only defense Iris could mount against the onslaught of emotions rising in her from hearing Barry's passionate declaration. She felt the metaphorical box containing her locked feelings _shake_ in that remote corner of her brain. 

"That's not funny, Iris," Barry deadpanned and rolled his eyes, echoing his own words from years ago when Iris had joked about dating Tony rather than David.

Maybe she should have. Then her heart wouldn't have been broken by not one but two boys who'd needed her help to get a crown, while Tony had stood out on his own.

As the saying said: better late than never.

"I'm serious, Barry," she let Barry know right before she stood up from her seat, not brave enough to see his reaction. 

Time to go, but should she really leave it at that? She'd promised Linda...

"I hope that this..." she started, then huffed. "See, I'm already regretting saying that this commercial is the best piece of work we'll ever do together."

"It can't be, Iris, please," Barry replied as he stood, his voice breaking.

Was he talking about their work partnership, or her dating Tony?

When Iris looked at him, nervous to find out, his facial expression had turned unnervingly neutral. He'd worn his professional mask.

Iris also caught the way he briefly tightened his jaw and pretended to look at the door to his left.

"I mean, I'll be grateful to still have your professional support, of course," he rephrased with a firm nod. "I owe you the little talent I have, Iris. I do my best when I'm by your side, so. Yes, please, let's keep working together."

_Oh God._

He was trying to keep his dignity while his heart was breaking, the exact same way that Iris had when Linda had left her dress room mere hours ago. 

"I-I'm sorry for...you know," Iris tried to say something, _anything_ that would make it better, because it wasn't as if she would go back to, what? Being best friends with Barry? Lovers? There was no going back for the two of them!

"Yeah, no, all of this is my fault," Barry replied with a shrug, and it was very believable. Even knowing how he felt, Iris was convinced.

_"Mr. Allen has a great potential, but he's too...impulsive as of yet. Volatile. But your talent ground his, that's obvious."_

Right. She herself was acting like his declaration of love was nothing, so he was playing along.

However distressing this moment was, Iris couldn't help but feel like... she was _part of something great._

"West-Allen," she uttered, making Barry blink. "Allow me to take back what I said about us reaching our apogee, Barry. I now know that we're just getting started."

"Quite," he agreed, and his smile was so smug, so genuine-looking, as he politely indicated the door. "I'll see you next month, in Midway City, then? I'm still shocked that I got in."

The 'Imitating Life' project, of course! How had she forgotten?

"Mr. Sherloque put in a good word for the two of us," Iris guessed as she walked ahead but let him catch up to open his front door.

"Really?" He asked, skepticism bright in his eyes, which were back to normal.

It's like he'd never cried in the first place.

"Text me, yeah?" Iris told Barry as she walked out of his place. "I'll probably text you first to annoy you with all the details of the film I'm helping Linda get actors for!"

"I'm looking forward to it," he replied with a smile.

At least this time it was only Iris' heart bleeding; her head was holding up, keeping the box containing her feelings under control; and of course her gut was satisfied. Today had been a good day for it.

It did whisper something when Iris drove past Becky Cooper's car. Becky didn't notice her, and Iris almost didn't recognize her because her hair wasn't blonde anymore.

Was Becky Cooper a natural ginger? Iris had no idea. She'd always done such an awesome dye job, all by herself! Iris remembered complimenting her on it at the lockers in high school, second year? It felt like so long ago.

Maybe she'd become a redhead now to please Barry's mom. Who cared?

Okay, Iris cared, but only that Becky was taking the initiative to talk to Barry. Good for them.

Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> I know that I owe you all extra fluff and smut for the last chapter, but would you like it to have POVs other than West-Allen's? Some of you wanted to see characters return! Whoever asks for a POV shall receive one! Not saying it will be a long section, but I'll do my best. Otherwise everything will be in Barry and Iris' POV only.
> 
> Am I the only West-Allen authors who feels guilty for writing Iris' exes so blatantly flawed? One day I'll write an exes!AU so that Barry will be the flawed ex too 🤣
> 
> ** David and Malcolm's hair colors: they were referring to Simba, Timon and Scar from the Lion King. I get slack in RL for hating the that movie (and Madagascar, all versions of both) so here, I referenced it in my fic 😤🤣
> 
> *Shibari/Kinbaku = both are arts of tying with ropes. Kinbaku is more often associated with BDSM I think? Don't quote me on that🙈


	12. Out Of The Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience and encouragement friends ❤️ I hope that this last chapter will make sense to you. 
> 
> I powered through these with a writer's block, a heavy heart...and after losing my outline 🤦🏿♀️Please accept my apologies for any inconsistencies and mistakes.  
> 
> 
> **Please read**
> 
> A little overview of this final chapter: 
> 
> This is a long read because I included sections 1-7, which are edited "deleted scenes" from chapters 10 (Barry) and 11 (Iris). They didn't fit the timeline back then so I added them here. There are new but minor plot points in those sections but **feel free to skip 1-4** since there's a lot of redundancy and because of the warnings below. Don't worry about the chapters in parentheses, that's for my own references in case I need to edit something later on.
> 
> Minor FYIs: Paul (OC) is Barry's agent, his name came up in Chapter 8 (Joe). Janet (Arrowverse) is Iris' agent but just for her acting career. 아줌마 = Korean for "aunty", it refers to Linda's aunt in particular.
> 
>   
> 
> 
> **WARNINGS**
> 
> 1) Some drama and angst, obviously, but maybe get mentally prepared for sections 10 and 13. And there's smut in sections 5, 8 and 12. And a few plot twists because I can’t help myself with those. I swear I'm basing this on drama I've seen in real life, celebrities are extra!
> 
> 2) Business, movie-making and medical technicalities are either b.s. or oversimplified. Most of them are in sections 3, 4, 9 and 10.
> 
> 3) Sexual harassment/assault and domestic abuse are mention in rated T details, please proceed with caution if you might get triggered. Virtual hugs to all victims 🙏🏿
> 
> 4) Nora Allen is her own warning! More on that in the endnotes. There will also be additional in-section notes since the chapter is on the longer side.
> 
> 5) A few links include illustrations of bondage/Shibari rope work. I promise that there's no porn! Not that porn is evil, but I think it's possibly against AO3 guidelines, I'm not sure.  
> (If you like porn please watch the ethical kind, not the shady free stuff that's all over the internet.)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

1\. Life Imitating Program = 1 month after filming "Gold Standard" (Mentions in Chapters 1, 3, 9 and 11; vague mention in chapter 6)

Barry was... _not brooding_ , just standing on his own at one of the manor's balconies while everyone else was watching some sports game on the huge TV screen inside. He was sipping on some iced tea while the others sounded already drunk and all around merry.

He couldn't join in on the fun because he was simply not enjoying himself at the big property, used to host and train the lucky trainees of the 'Imitating life' progrplam. They were halfway through the six-week-long training, and Barry was supposed to have learned a lot so far, but he didn't feel any more skilled in anything than he'd been three weeks ago.

Well, except his newfound gift with yo-yos. He'd never cared for the toy as a kid, but he'd marathoned an animé that Cisco had highly recommended, and the main character used a yo-yo as a weapon. So after learning some basics of how to use whips, chains and nunchucks during the close quarters combat training in week two, Barry had appropriated one of the yo-yos in the game room and now he could do crazy stuff with it.

But that was about it. He still felt like he had two left feet when he danced—ballroom dances. He was decent at club dancing thanks to Oliver dragging him to clubs during college...or maybe Barry was only good _in comparison to Cisco._

(Who still hadn't offered him more shares to Ramon Industries. Not that Barry could buy much: he'd liquidated almost all of his money to buy his car, condo and have the engagement ring made.)

Learning how to angle himself in front of a camera had basically been a waste of time because he was one of the most active non-runway models in the country; he already knew how to express nuanced emotions; same for knowing how to switch his entire body language down to the way he frowned...but okay, their coach was really good, now Barry fully understood the whole idea of using specific emotions as switches to turn his characters' personas on and off. 

But Barry already knew how to sustainably change his pitch and accent! He'd worked on that since his voice had started dropping! Iris had taught him...

And there was the heart of the problem: Barry _couldn't_ enjoy himself because he couldn't spend his free time with Iris even though they lived under the same big roof.

He'd been so ecstatic, months ago, when he'd learned that he'd been picked for the program. He really had only applied because he'd daydreamed of learning new skills with Iris. She was a very talented actress so there had been no question that she'd get chosen for this great learning opportunity. And there had been no doubt that she'd shine as one of the most talented trainees.

This morning they'd had a blank firearm training. Barry was anti-gun, but of course he'd given away best shot, pun intended. He was good at assembling the firearm parts, not so good at shooting accurately and he couldn't shoot without blinking and flinching.

Iris? He had to repeat "her dad's a cop" to everyone who approached him asking how the hell she was looking more competent than the trainers. 'Looking' being the keyword, because of course Iris didn't have a better aim or stance than the trainers. She possibly had greater upper body strength, which allowed her to switch from holding the gun with both hands to shooting with just one as she cleared an obstacle.

And of course, as a long-time model who knew her best angles, she knew when to pause, tilt her head to the side, or flip her hair for dramatic effect.

Barry had been mesmerized watching Iris be badass before, as a boxer and as a cheerleader. But back then he hadn't known what she looked like underneath her clothes; he hadn't known how her fast breathing sounded in his ear, or how her strong muscles felt like coiling up or relaxing around his own.

He'd admired her athleticism back then, but now all he could think about was a way to survive the rest of the program without rubbing himself one while thinking about her being a talented, vibrant and _so fucking sexy_ actress.

At least he wasn't the only one at the manor fantasizing about her like a pervert. He'd heard the other trainees struggle to be respectful when praising her behind her back.

It killed Barry a little bit every single time he remembered that _Tony Woodward_ was the current lucky bastard who had Iris all sweaty in bed. Well, not in the past few weeks, but Tony only had three more weeks to wait until he had the most beautiful woman in the world back in his arms.

Meanwhile, Barry would go back to Becky _._

He should be grateful that his fake girlfriend didn't expect them to be intimate again. That last time they'd had sex had really been the last time. He should stop sending her mixed signals.

It had been such a stupid mistake. Barry felt a bit disgusted in himself every time he recalled the afternoon when Iris had left his place not even thirty minutes after she'd stepped foot in it, making it obvious that she'd never come back.

He'd been hurting like he'd never thought was humanely possible without a physical injury. It had been so fucking _painful_ to be rejected by the woman he loved, especially when he knew, and she knew that he knew, that she loved him too...right? She was a good actress, so unlike him she didn't wear her heart on her sleeve, but...maybe she didn't, not anymore. 

Rejecting him because of his mom was a bit unfair, wasn't it?

Yes, she'd been terrible to Iris, God knew how lucky Barry's parents were that Iris didn't have a vengeful bone in her body. If she'd repeated what his mom had yelled at her to her parents...every time Barry remembered those words he was more mortified than the last.

But his mom had changed! Or at least she'd learned to be civil. He supposed that it was his fault for not letting Iris know. Just like he should've told Iris about where the ring came from.

In truth, she had all the rights to refuse being part of a family already problematic for its active involvement in slavery. It made sense, really, but Barry couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. Everything had been going so well between them for the past four years, socially and professionally.

Speaking of their professional partnership, the number of West-Allen fans had doubled since the release of the 'Gold Standard'. Some of the other trainees had looked mystified by Barry and Iris, but only until they'd realized that their were just colleagues doubling as friends.

They were back to the status quo they'd maintained in high school, before and after four months of dating secretly. 

_"High school? You're bringing up high school, Iris?"_

_"What else should I bring? We haven't been that close since then!"_

Her denial had saddened him. She'd eventually admitted that they were indeed friends, hiding her reluctance behind a joke he'd been too devastated to appreciate.

How could they not be close, when they'd spent over four years of texting and calling each other every other day, even when they saw each other face to face for modeling collabs? 

Granted, they had talked about everything _except Becky and getting back together._ But in Barry's mind, that had been a given: he wasn't in a real relationship and she'd been going from one fling to the next, nothing ever serious...

And they'd accepted to co-star in a fucking _wedding commercial_ together! And Iris had agreed to insert their own personal story in it! There had been signs! He hadn't made things up. _He hadn't!_

Iris had claimed that she'd never seen him as a stalker, but that's exactly how he'd felt when she'd asked him where his proposal was coming from and how 'entitled' he was to think that she'd been waiting for him this whole time.

Apparently loving each other and being free to date whoever they wanted didn't mean that they had to be together. 

Apparently, dating Tony fucking Woodward was better for Iris than waiting for Barry to amiably part ways with Becky. 

It had broken him, and he'd needed to use both his professional mask _and_ Iris' own trick to keep his wits about him until she'd left his place, the condo he'd dreamed of sharing with her since he was seventeen. 

But Barry hadn't had the time to weep like the crybaby that he still was at twenty two years old, because Becky had arrived not ten minutes after Iris had left. And Becky had looked even more broken than him.

Becky Cooper, the girl he'd started fake-dating just to get his parents off his back...because he'd _used Hartley_ to quiet the school rumors that he and Iris were together.

(Hartley had never said anything about it, but a handful of Barry's own fans had pointed out that using a "beard" to counter rumors about being gay was homophobic. He was very grateful for their honesty.)

Becky Cooper, the girl he'd kept fake-dating after his 'scandal' had died out, in order to help her get _her parents_ off her back;

Becky Cooper, the 'bad bitch' who didn't mean any harm when she 'verbally abused' him as Cisco put it; who bossed him around because she didn't think that he would willingly help if she asked for a hand, who did get under his skin when she really wanted to annoy him;

Becky Cooper, the woman who'd pushed through four years of living in the shadow of his popularity because he was friends with Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak and she had no friends—she hadn't endured those college years without complaining, but at no point had she acted or sounded like a pitiful and neglected girlfriend.

 _That Rebecca Cooper_ had broken down in tears in front of Barry, and for the first time in the five years that they'd known each other, she had poured her heart out to him.

He had been too broken to think straight, that was his only explanation for his kissing Becky and gently dragging her to his guest bedroom.

_"And you say 'fake relationship', but it's not like you've never fucked Becky."_

Fair point, though of course the three times that Barry and Becky had had sex didn't compare to the... _many times_ that he and Iris had made love.

To think that Barry had bought a _California queen bed_ for his bedroom.

When he'd placed the bed diagonal from the door, he'd imagined Iris calling him a dork because it was an inside joke that she hadn't meant to start: she had a _California king bed_ for her own bedroom. She'd accidentally sent a picture of it to Barry a few months before shooting the commercial. Barry was aware that she'd meant to send it to Linda, because Iris had asked a 'girl' to give her feng shui tips. It had still felt like a subliminal message that he'd been very receptive to.

_"Don't you feel a little...entitled?"_

Barry had been broken and Becky had been broken, so he'd believed that they could be broken together. 

What an idiot.

He'd regretted having sex with her the moment his endorphin rush had passed, and he'd felt even worse when Becky had flatly thanked him for his 'pity fuck' on her way out of his place—the place where Iris would never spend the night.

And Barry had hated how, just like him with Iris, Becky had put up a good front while walking towards that entrance door.

He'd hated it because unlike him, Becky wasn't an actress, so she had no reason to wear a mask! And where the hell had she planned on going: back to her emotionally abusive parents? That's not what she'd wanted!

Barry had reasoned that if he could help her again, then why shouldn't he? At least Becky had come to him for her problems! Unlike his _friends_ Iris and Cisco who'd never showed him their vulnerable sides.

So Barry had offered Becky to extend their fake dating agreement. He'd offered to stand by her until she could get by on her own, or until she found a real boyfriend. He'd needed the familiarity of their arrangement to stay afloat while he pieced his heart back together. Plus, he didn't want his private life to be under scrutiny if it suddenly changed. He hadn't even thought about that when he'd readied everything to be Iris West's fiancé...

Oh God, what had he done? It had taken so long to...what was he going to do now?

Nothing. No one knew except Paul, who had assured him that no one else would.

Paul knew everything, of course, and he hadn't even blinked at Barry's complex history with the One True Queen.

Barry had thought that was her king, but he apparently belonged to the _neighboring kingdom._

All his efforts to get an official crown, all these years of self-improvement, of doing his best to be a decent human being, a role model, _a leader..._ just for Iris to tell him that he was walking on a path _parallel_ to hers, from the other side of an invisible barrier.

Like when they were pre-school children and Barry would see Iris on the other side of the street or...above him? He had a blurry but lingering memory of a tiny Iris sitting on her dad's shoulders, looking at a musical performance. A Jazz performance? There had been a saxophone...

Anyways, Barry remembered that back then he'd felt like he was missing out on something by not playing with the girl next door who was always dressed in bright colors.

Now he knew what he was missing. Filming the commercial had reminded him how privileged he was to be able to say that he knew _Iris Ann West._

That he'd talked to her in many languages, spoken, signed and tapped; that he'd laughed with her and cried in front of her; that he'd touched her, had kissed her, had made love with her...

But discovering that West-Alone page at the start of senior year had made him panic, because...weren't they right about him being a creep to Iris? Back in high school, during the musical? Chester had even ended their friendship over it!

The doubt hadn't lasted: he'd recalled that Iris had forgiven him—too easily, _way too easily,_ over a text? But that's because she loved him too, right?

So he'd rushed his careful planning, hadn't waited like he'd known he was supposed to, all so he could show the ultimate proof of his and Iris' love to the whole world, a proof that would disprove those lunatics' allegations.

What an idiot.

What an _entitled_ idiot.

The vibration of his phone brought him out of his non-brooding. Wast it Cisco?

**Iris: Couldn't find you anywhere, you're probably asleep. Goodnight!**

**Iris: Becky (Sharpe) said that you suck at dancing the waltz? What in the world, Bartholomew???**

As if Sharpe herself was any better! Not only had she hurt him, her dance partner, but she'd also hurt the other trainees who'd been dancing in their vicinity. The chaos she'd caused had been surreal...

**Iris:** **Now I'm glad that we never had that dance at prom!**

**Iris: But I heard the others complain that they couldn't learn anything with Becky around either. That she's a safery hazard? Are your feet okay?**

He'd live, but he was definitely skipping the dance lessons from now on because he couldn't changed partners. He should've signed up for the same session as Iris!

**Iris: Anyways, what do you say we practice the waltz, salsa and bachata, starting whenever you feel in condition to give it another try, until the end of the program? I'll reserve the dance studio for us. I'm sure that the others will watch, but when has that ever been a problem for us?**

**Iris: Please say yes! It's not just for you, it's** **for Hartley Rathaway too X'D**

What a dork, using punctuation emoticons when she could've used emojis.

It was true that Hartley was an adept dancer, and that he jokingly lamented (in person and on social media) that he couldn't make all his fans jealous by plastering his body to Barry's for a steamy slow dance.

Ballroom dancing with Iris, what kind of sweet torture was that? But he needed to learn how to dance. And rather than doing it for Hartley, he really should learn for Becky. Too many men asked her for a dance just to catch her parents' attention during formal events.

More importantly, Iris' text messages had just proven that she still wanted to be around him. She was probably offering the dance practice sessions out of pity, but it was still better than nothing—

Wait, was he thinking like a creep? Did he have a stalker's mindset? Maybe he should reply in the morning, and maybe he should actually decline the offer?

No, that was dumb, of course he should say yes. But afterwards, he needed to keep his distance or she might find out. Plus he couldn't always count on her to help him out.

It's not that he wanted to cut all ties with Iris, but...she'd said it herself, that so much needed to happen before they could realize their dream. He already had a foot in the Star City acting scene, and she and Linda had Mr. Sherloque's support. Divide and conquer right? He'd talk to her about it.

He shouldn't be sad at the idea of being away from her again. He wouldn't feel sad about being away from Cisco or Hartley.

Iris would never be more than his friend and colleague...and his ally from the neighboring kingdom.

He had to act accordingly.

His phone vibrated again. It was Cisco this time.

**Cisco: Hey, call me in the morning, I don't want to say it over a text.**

**Cisco: Please don't call in front of Iris.**

What? Why?

* * *

2\. Over two years later, two months before the premiere of Burette 2/ Linda rewriting 'On The Mend' (Chapters 3, 6 and 7)

_"They agreed to hold the premiere in Central City? Really?"_

_"Yeah! Patty backed me up, so..."_

_"Don't even say her name!"_

_"Iris."_

_"Don't you Iris me! Do you know how I felt, how I still feel about you gaslighting me? And then getting proof of my suspicions from some remote corner of your fandom?"_

_"Oh, like how I felt when I learned about the One True Queen from a remote corner of your fandom?"_

_"The two cases are not even comparable! Barry, did you report her?"_

_"How does it make sense to report her for that? We have a ship to sell!"_

_"What about her asking you if you're 'into women at all' because you didn't hump her back when she went off script twice during the sex scene, huh? Jesus, she just blurted it out on the set?!"_

_"That didn't give the right to anyone present to share it on social media. That's hearsay, and so unprofessional! They're lucky that I have no idea who they are or they'd never work again."_

_"You'd fire someone for exposing her disgusting behavior?"_

_"She's just overzealous about the Burrick ship, that's all."_

_"I can't believe this!"_

_"Come on Iris! Why are you upset? You're the last person I expected to be mad at Patty!"_

_"...what? Why are you saying that?"_

_"You know why..."_

_"I don't?"_

_"The musical? I harassed you back then!"_

_"Wait, what? What?"_

_"Don't play coy. The only reason I got away with it is because you're the most forgiving person in the world."_

_"What the..."_

_"I think it's the reason why Mr. Sherloque didn't nominate me for 'Student of the Year' until I boldly bribed him. All those years I wondered—"_

_"What are you even talking about?"_

_"Did he not make it sound like he was going to nominate me if I played the Beast?"_

_"...yeah. I mean, he didn't explicitly said that he would, but he implied it and by the beginning of senior year you had a solid profile. He should've nominated you unprompted."_

_"So why didn't he?"_

_"I don't know Barry, and I'm not liking what you're insinuating here!"_

_"I'm not insinuating anything, I'm telling the truth! I was a creep to you! Even Chester..."_

_"No way! That's why you and Chester became estranged? Because of one extra kiss?"_

_"Which you were still mad about before we filmed 'Gold Standard'! And it's not just that one kiss. I had my hands all over you during the last week of rehearsal! That was inappropriate."_

_"That's absurd! Barry, the script asked for—"_

_"Well the script of Burette 2 asks for Andy and Jay to be lovers too! Patty taking advantage of it to dry hump me, kiss me longer or touch me a few inches lower than indicated is no different!"_

_"And her touching your ass and invading your personal space at every opportunity on set, off-camera? Is that in the script too?"_

_"We have a ship to sell!"_

_"You know what? Fine! Deny being a victim of sexual assault all you want—"_

_"If a hot blonde being frisky with me is sexual assault, then I've been paid to be a victim my entire modeling career!"_

_"As if anyone in the modeling industry would dare to act out of pocket around you! And you barely model anymore! This is Hollywood and it's different!"_

_"Yes, I'm aware that I need a bit more backbone now, hence me not tattling on the lead actress of my own damn movie!"_

_"Backbone? Where's that toxic masculinity coming from, Barry? Is Oliver Queen rubbing off on you?"_

_"Please leave Oliver out of it. I clearly have had that toxic masculinity the entire time! And you're the one denying that I touched you inappropriately..."_

_"You were my boyfriend!"_

_"Ex-boyfriend! And you looked so upset after the play!"_

_"Like I look scared of your mom!"_

_"...huh?"_

_"My God, Barry! All these years you thought that what? I forgave you for being a brat during rehearsal and the play, via text, because I'm a pushover?"_

_"Victims of harassment usually—"_

_"Having the hands of the boy I loved all over my body wasn't sexual harassment! Why do I even have to explain this, Barry? We loved each other and only separated because of your mom! Our relationship was secret, so of course I had to look upset when you kissed me one time too many in front of the entire school! In front of Cisco and Linda! But I liked you kissing me, of course I did. How could you even doubt that?"_

_"..."_

_"Hello?"_

_"'Loved', past tense."_

_"We're talking about high school, so yes, past tense!"_

_"...okay. Sorry. Okay."_

_"Okay, as in you agree that your childish behavior—at seventeen-year-old—was in no shape and form sexual harassment or assault?"_

_"You brought up that kiss four years later!"_

_"During a meeting about a commercial for which we kissed...how many times?"_

_"Right."_

_"..."_

_"Iris? I said you're right."_

_"...just so you know, I'm deeply offended that you would compare our experience with the play to your experience with Burette 2."_

_"Iris, I—"_

_"It's one thing to believe that you deserve what happened to you Barry. That unfortunately happens to a lot to victims, you know that. But for you to believe that what we had was...you truly believed that I would let you do something that hurt my feelings, and say nothing? After all we've been through together for these past three years?"_

_"Chester said—"_

_"Chester didn't know about us! The only one who did was Mr. Sherloque. He was the adult, don't you think that he would've talked to you if he suspected that you were harassing me, rather than just scold you for stalling during rehearsal?"_

_"...right. But the nomination...?"_

_"I don't know, maybe he knew that he could get more out of you if he seemed hesitant? Or he didn't want you to overshadow me? He likes our partnership. He told me that we're great actors together. More or less."_

_"More like I'm a better actor when I'm around you. The other way around isn't true. You're a great actress, Iris, period."_

_"Thank you. You're amazing too, Barry. With or without me."_

_"Please, Iris. I know my worth. I've been in twice as many productions as you and the critics have said like...ten times less about me overall than about you in your last indi."_

_"...Barry?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Block that West-Alone page on Instagram, or I'll ask Felicity to do it for you."_

_"..."_

_"Now, Bartholomew!"_

_"Okay, okay! Give me a second..."_

_"Jesus, I should've known that those crazy conspiracy theorists would get to you!"_

_"They didn't..."_

_"Did you block the page?"_

_"Yes, it's done."_

_"Thank you. Now report that good for nothing lead actress."_

_"It would destroy her career, Iris, you know that! And we have a ship to sell! Please, it's my first blockbuster movie. Why should I complain now after all these months of hard work? I can't sabotage the movie's chances to gross big with a scandal like this."_

_"Barry..."_

_"I'm fine, really! I mean, I'm feeling better already now that you've opened my eyes! I'll talk to a therapist."_

_"..."_

_"I swear! And I'll talk to Patty after the premiere, okay? I'll let her know that she was out of line but that I don't hold any grudges."_

_"I'll hold you to that, Barry."_

_"Of course, please do. By the way, are you home?"_

_"Yeah, but I'm heading to Gotham this weekend to audition for a movie."_

_"That Gotham movie, don't tell me it's an indi."_

_"What's wrong with indis?"_

_"You should be more mainstream, Iris. Why aren't you? You've got Janet, she can find you something through your connections with um...in your boyfriend's circles, right? You two have been together long enough that no one will accuse you of—"_

_"I'd rather die than lick those connections' boots, Barry. I'm talented, I'm hardworking and I'm easy on the eyes. I shouldn't need to attend the parties of people who think me inferior to them just to get a role in a big production. My time is coming! I know that because Linda's working on something ambitious and I might get on with the project."_

_"Yes!"_

_"...why did you say it like that?"_

_"Like what?"_

_"Bartholomew Henry Allen!"_

_"...that's not my name."_

_"Huh?_

_"I mean,_ _Linda was going to tell you soon, I'm sure."_

_"Huh?"_

_"How eloquent, your majesty."_

_"Shut up! I mean, explain!"_

_"I told you that Oliver moved on from the I.D. spinoff movie, right? Because he's shooting some of the show's upcoming season in advance to clear his schedule for a movie next year?"_

_"Right, yeah you told me. The director's still sick?"_

_"Hospitalized—but he'll make a full recovery. The investors just can't wait for that to happen."_

_"Wait...the movie that Linda said she's 'rescuing' is yours? She didn't tell me that her contact was all the way in Star City!"_

_"Because that contact is me. Surprise!"_

_"Uh-oh."_

_"What? Why did you say that?"_

_"...Barry?"_

_"Yeah...?"_

_"Let's make sure that all our fans go watch Burette 2."_

_"That's the ideal, yeah...wait. Wait. What does Burette 2 have to do with the spinoff movie?"_

_"If Burette 2 grosses big then you can act the diva and back up Linda's crazy demands."_

_"...good crazy, right?"_

_"Call her next, she'll explain better than me. Jesus Christ, Linda Park!"_

* * *

3\. Weeks after Iris broke up with Tony (Chapter 4) = a few days after the Burette 2 premiere but before Barry and Linda's Twitter video (Chapter 3)

As used to camera flashes as she was, Iris never felt prepared for the assault of paparazzi when she left and returned home. She'd thought that it would be over by now, but the Jitters video going viral had renewed these vultures' interest in her.

The initial scandal had been her own fault. She should've warned Janet about the breakup before storming out of Tony's apartment. He was a national celebrity, for heaven's sake! He was connected to all big names of the entertainment industry! How could she have overlooked that part? And now there she was, jobless for however long it would take for people to 'forgive her' as if they had any right to feel like she owed apologies.

"Iris! Iris, this way!" A faceless voice called out beyond the storm of camera flashes.

Iris angled herself away from the voice as she walked straight to the entrance of her building, the paparazzi not following her after a few steps because the security guard was jogging down to meet her halfway. 

Iris used to scoff at B-list celebrities who hired bodyguards, but she wasn't scoffing now. The only reason why she hadn't hired one was that she knew that this would stop soon. Hopefully the Jitters video would stop trending.

Janet had complained that the video should've at least earned her a paid partnership with Jitters. She felt terrible for taking paid vacations too, but Iris didn't see the point of keeping her around now that she was blacklisted. Her schedule was empty for _the next two months_. At least Lisa had fought to get her paid for her last modeling gig, which she'd done on the day of the breakup.

Lisa was upset for her but also _at her_ for the 'messy' fallout with Tony. Like he'd bragged about himself, he was the best paid athlete of the entire South and Midwest. No one wanted to get on his bad side by working with his ex, who had already angered one of his ‘friends’ Bill Tockman. He a sleazy investor that Iris had indirectly spoken against by showing steadfast support to Ruth. Her coworker from YC had pressed charges of sexual assault against Tockman. The older rich white man had good lawyers, so unfortunately Ruth wasn’t given justice...and her career had sunk from then onwards.

Iris had thought that her own reputation as a model with great ethics had protected her from any backlash for publicly condemning the injustice against Ruth, but it was clear now that being Tony’s girlfriend had been her real shield.

If the producers of 'On The Mend' didn't approve both the trailer and Linda's fundraiser idea, she might be jobless for the rest of the year.

(She wouldn't be broke. Unless bad luck hit the company, she wouldn't have to worry about money for a long while...)

"Is it true that Tony cheated on you with a friend from your high school cheerleader team?" An anonymous reporter asked before Iris got out of earshot.

She almost turned around to check who asked that.

How...how did they know that? Had one of Tony's groupies spilled the beans on social media?

Well, that was good for Iris, right? She knew that Tony's fans would find a way to spin even that around, but reasonable people would realize that she wasn't the one at fault. She'd get some of her gigs back, maybe?

"Iris!" Several of the gossip journalists shouted as she smiled gratefully at the concierge from across the glass doors.

She knew that he was calling the cops.

"Iris!"

"Iris West!" 

"Miss West!"

_"IRIS!"_

The voices got muffled as soon as the security guard closed the door behind them, but the flashes kept going until she turned around the corner towards the guest lounge. She thanked the security guard, smiled apologetically at the people peering around wondering what the commotion was all about, and kept her jaw tight as she walked to the elevator as calmly as possible.

She couldn't cry because of Tony. She'd shed enough tears for him already.

Three years. How had she been this stupid, this blind? That was the guy that she had chosen over—

She cut off that train of thought just as she spotted Linda at the window adjacent to the elevator, frowning deeply at her phone.

"Lin!" Iris greeted, grateful that she'd made it back home safely.

She'd been in Star City with Barry, Lyla Michaels, John Diggle, the set producers and the other screenwriter of 'On The Mend' negotiating the new budget with the executive producers.

"Hey babe," Linda greeted back when she looked up from whatever had her so upset.

They hugged tightly, Linda holding a delivery tote to the side. Iris already felt better thanks to the combo of her best friend's presence and the smell of 아줌마's food. She un-tightened her jaw and blinked away the negative flashes popping up in her peripheral vision.

"I told you that Joan is a bitch," Linda's words after they leaned away from each other brought her mood back to 'not great.'

"What does the future Mrs. Truman-Levitt have to do with anything?" Iris asked rhetorically as she stepped away from her best friend's arms to call the elevator.

She didn't really care about what Joan had to say, especially after the private message she'd sent her on Facebook messenger right after removing Iris from the cheerleaders group a few days ago:

> **Joan Truman-Levitt **
> 
> ** If you want to get back in the group you've got to first apologize to your boyfriend of THREE YEARS for your immature overreaction to something I'm sure you were already aware of. Don't play coy now. It happens to everyone.  **
> 
> **Tony's been nothing but a loving boyfriend to you. He's always bragging about you every time you make a cover. **
> 
> **What you're doing is beneath the standards of a queen. We queens don't quit when it gets hard, ain't no one else gonna fix our problems but ourselves because WE'RE THE LEADERS! You're lucky to be a queen who ended up in a relationship with a king of the same school, with the same values! And now you're throwing all that in the air?**
> 
> **FIX THIS. I can't deal seeing MY KING in this condition.**
> 
> **And what does YOUR KING have to say about all this? Tony says that it's his fault, and I'm inclined to believe it. **
> 
> ** As much as I like Barry, I remember his name being brought up in the rumors about your breakups with Malcolm and David back in the day too.**
> 
> ** By the way, your "West-Allen" ship is inappropriate, Iris. Becky's a nobody without her parents so she can deal with that, but Tony's more famous than you. Being so close to another man is disrespectful to him. Fix that part of your life too.**

'It happens to everyone.'

Iris had known that some of the popular kids at CC High were double-dippers, but she hadn't been one and neither had Jake, Malcolm or David when they'd dated her. Thankfully Iris' STD tests had come back negative. She'd always used condoms with Tony for penetrative sex, but not for oral.

Shouldn't she at least hate him for risking her health? She was sick of feeling pathetically heartbroken over this betrayal.

"Here," Linda said with a sigh, handing her her phone, the screen illuminated on a Facebook page:

> **Joan Truman-Levitt**
> 
> 2 hours ago 🌎
> 
> As I'm counting down the days until the happiest of my life, I'm more and more grateful to @Frank Levitt for taking me as I am:
> 
> With all my flaws and imperfections.
> 
> I just talked to **Tony Woodward** , who was weeping like a baby on the phone because his girlfriend of three years can't forgive him for cheating. People in couple cheat. How shocking, right?
> 
> Dating isn't a hobby, it's not something to pass the time when you're bored. It's the commitment preceding an engagement. There are so many divorces nowadays because people in a couple act differently before and after the vows have been said. Signing a paper shouldn't make you act differently towards your partner. If you truly love someone, you should do your best to make things work. "For better and for worse, until death do us apart"!
> 
> I never liked Iris West's holier than thou... **See more**
> 
> **Like . Share 📄 622**
> 
> ** 👍 2.1k people  ** like this

"Wow," Iris couldn't help whisper before she returned Linda's phone which had still been in her other hand. 

"My point exactly," Linda said just as Iris felt her phone vibrate in her purse.

For a second she hoped that it was Barry. Normally he rarely mentioned Tony and if he did it was never by name, but since the break up his phone calls had been all video calls and all business. They really helped her forget about her latest disastrous breakup.

She might as well be honest with herself: Tony cheating on her was karma for breaking Barry's heart.

So was getting to play the love interest of Barry's original character for 'On The Mend'. God, it was going to be torture. Her heart had been all over the place just filming the trailer! 

Why couldn't she get the role of Crystal Frost instead? Caitlin might not be doing it on purpose, but she had the right expressions to play the love interest! At least Linda had re-written Mariam to be less of a typical damsel-in-distress. Lev wasn't even the knight in shiny armor type, what had the original screenwriter been thinking?

If the production was given the green light, Iris would finally get up there in the big kids' league. Not because of Tony and his connections—who were presently banning her from their circles—but as Barry Allen's long-term colleague. As his equal.  They weren't equal in terms of fame, but they might get equal pay if the producers were persuaded. That depended on how much Burette 2 would gross at the box office, meaning how much Barry's face on a posterboard was worth.

Iris was very nervous even though she was supposed to have faith: sh e was the One True Queen. She would be granted the power to level up in the entertainment industry and show other Black actresses and actors that not only getting great roles was possible, but getting paid well for those roles was possible too _._

"Why aren't you picking up?" Linda questioned. "Don't you get service in this elevator?" 

"Yeah, yeah," Iris confirmed absentmindedly before picking up the call, which wasn't Barry's.

"Hi Charz!" Iris greeted with both sincere and fake cheer, feeling extra young and stupid like every other time she talked to her older relative. 

When 'Gold Standard' had been released, Charz had been more insistent than her parents in knowing the reason for the use of Iris' own personal cellphone from high school. Since Charz already knew about Iris and Barry's secret friendship and the tattoos, Iris hadn't taken long to tell her about her secret relationship with Barry. To Iris' surprise, Charz' only reaction had been _"that explains a lot."_ Nothing more.

"Hey Iris," Charz greeted back less enthusiastically.

"What's wrong?" Iris naturally asked as she fished out her keys to open her apartment door.

"You're asking me?" Charz asked back. "How are _you?_ "

"Not too bad, just dodged a few paparazzi," Iris tried to play it off as she and Linda walked inside her apartment. 

"Is it true that you're blacklisted?" Her cousin asked at a lower voice.

Uh-oh. Where had she read or heard that?

"Only in Tony's circles," she reassured Charz with a shrug that she couldn't see.

The first year Iris had dated Tony, he’d promised to stay away from Tockman, but he'd gone to several parties that the investor had also attended. One such party had ended with several women accusing Tockman of sexual assault. Of course Tockman got away with his crimes, same as with Ruth, and thankfully Tony hadn't been mixed up in the terrible story because he'd had a solid alibi thanks to none other than David Gregger.

Iris remembered being glad that Dave didn’t hold any grudge against Tony the way he did against her. He’d  probably known that Tony was sleeping around and had thought that it was poetic justice or something. Dave had a reputation of being a player—and he wasn't on the field anymore—so Iris should've figured out what it meant that he and Tony acted like they were still on the same team. 

"Yet Tony's claiming that he wishes you well on social media?" Charz reacted in outrage. "Sorry, I couldn't help checking his posts, but it's all b.s. clearly. Asshole! But, what about the movie you've been filming on and off with Linda and Barry?"

Iris asked Linda: "Did the producers approve the trailer and or the fundraising campaign?"

"They won't contact me so soon, they'll make me bite my nails for a few days," Linda explained with a scowl. "Paul might already know though, but Barry's busy at a fan meet-up if I'm not mistaken."

"I'll let you know in a few days if it's a go," Iris answered Charz' question. "But hey, being blacklisted isn't so bad considering how busy I've been this year, right? You're the one who told me that I was working too much..."

True, she hadn't made a lot of money working in Indi movies but she'd made some connections of her own—notably with _David Singh._ Barry had been speechless for a while when he'd seen their role model at the auditions. Then he'd quipped that he shouldn't be surprised that the One True Queen had made friends with the King of the Central City acting scene.

"I'm so sorry for putting that into the universe," Charz apologized, and ah she'd been feeling guilty about that. "Linda's movie will get approved, I'm sure. You take care of my baby cousin for me, future niece-in-law!" She said at a much louder volume to address Linda, making Iris lean away from her phone.

She was still weirded out yet excited that Charz' nephew Wally was very seriously dating her best friend. He was Iris' nephew too, only two years younger than her, and for that very reason she preferred the term 'first cousin once removed'. They weren't close, but she remembered a few holiday dinners during which he'd been a brat calling her 'mini-aunt' because he'd grown taller than her.

Right after asking Linda out, he'd very humbly asked Iris permission to call her just by name without the 'aunty'. She'd been magnanimous and had allowed it.

Linda and Wally hadn't known their connection to Iris at first. They'd met because Linda had been doing research on street racing for a movie she was co-writing. Most of the local racers had ignored her questions, but a newcomer from Keystone City had been very forthcoming, going as far as 'escort her' back home instead of racing that night...which had been a blessing because the cops had busted that race.

Linda and Wally's initial one-night-stand was now a six month relationship. 

"Working on it, Charz!" Linda shouted back as she set the table for the East Asian-fusion buffet.

After Iris hung up, she washed her hands and barely resisted rubbing them together as she gazed at her favorite foods.

"I should've bought you brownies too," Linda chided herself almost an hour later.

She was done eating, but Iris still had half a plate of lemon drop sushi.

"Hey, this is taking me back," Linda commented. "Remember the No Dram4 photo shoot that lasted longer than scheduled because that contortionist photographer fell in love with the West-Allen chemistry? Barry ordered you lemon drop sushi back when 아줌마 didn't have them on the menu," she specified as she pointed at the dish in question. "And only one brownie square, thank goodness, or you wouldn't have had room for the gigantic green smoothie I'd gotten for you."

"You remember," Iris expressed her surprise, a sushi roll halfway to her lips.

"You bet that I remember: the king of the nerds got that light tech asshole fired!" Linda recounted. "At seventeen years old? _How?_ Did he tell you?"

"No, we weren't on speaking terms back then," Iris admitted. "Outside of work, I mean. I could ask him now but I don't think that either of us wants to revisit that time of our lives. We were so dramatic!"

As if on cue, Iris' phone vibrated again and this time it was Barry calling _._

"Put him on speaker, please," Linda requested. "I'm sure it's about the movie."

Iris picked up the call then quickly told Barry: "Hey Barry, you're on speaker! I'm with Linda."

"Hey there, your nerdy majesty!" Linda greeted next while Iris popped a sushi in her mouth.

"Great, you're together!" Barry replied cheerfully. "Hi Iris, and **hi** **there, screenplay writer and movie director* Linda Park,"** Barry switched to **Korean.**

Linda shook her head. 

**"I still can't believe this,"** she commented about his use of her native language. "Tell me that you have good news for us!"

"Damn right, I do!" Barry confirmed excitedly.

They had the green light for _everything!_ The extended trailer of 'On The Mend' was to be released at the Star City comic-con halfway through the 'I.D.' panel!

"Guys, the filming schedule is going to be fast and furious, but I expect your best all the same," Linda warned them. "I want us to get started on my masterpiece right after we collect our MAAs for 'On The Mend'. I boldly asked a friend's very famous colleague to be the third member of the trifecta+ since she's going to be my first assistant director. He promised to say yes if 'On The Mend' wins an award.

"Name?" both Barry and Iris asked.

"Gan Thet," Linda answered, making Iris' jaw dropped just when she was about to eat another roll.

Wow! _The_ Gan Thet? He probably held the record for highest number of 'Best Cinematography' awards! 

"That's the Director of Photography for 'Rings of Justice' starring Hal Jordan," Barry stated, sounding as impressed as Iris felt. "You know him? Who's your friend?"

"Mina Chaytan," Iris guessed, eyes wide on her best friend. "She interned with you at S.T.A.R. Studios. She moved to the west coast to work with the only Native American who's made it big in Hollywood."

"You got it," Linda confirmed, then addressed Barry, "I should've known that you nerd watched that movie! Any chance that you could recruit one of the cast members when he's done with his current show? He's in Oliver Queen's circles, so I'm assuming that—"

"I personally know Hal, yeah," Barry let them know. "No offense to him, but we don't get along that well and I don't think that he'll be able to keep things secret."

"Good to know, but that's not who I was referring to anyways," Linda let him know. "I was thinking about John Stewart as Thelonious Jaha. He can pull off an older man with minimal make up and a beard."

"I don't think that Stewart even knows that I exist," Barry admitted with a chuckle. "But, yeah I'll reach out to him, he's amazing. Hey, if I may make a suggestion? I feel like there’s an imbalance among the Black characters. While Raven, Miller and Indra are badass, the guys are kinda weak."

"Barry Allen!" Linda chided him.

"Hear me out!" He requested. "Wells and Lincoln are smart and kind and Lincoln is badass, but the two of them are less of their own characters than they are the love interests of two white women—Clarke and Octavia, who aren't kind and who make very stupid mistakes. Thelonious and Pike are alpha male leaders, one political and the other military. Both are pragmatic but borderline ruthless characters that the audience will love to hate along with Roan. Can't there be a more...moderate Black male to compete with Raven, Miller and Indra as a fan favorite? Roan is balanced out by Emori, Anya and Luna. Even Lexa is arguably a more likeable character than him. "

"You...you might be right," Linda admitted with a long sigh. "But I can't create a new character at this stage!"

"What if you recast Emori as a Black man?" Iris quickly suggested because she'd thought just like Barry but didn't have a solution to offer...until last night. "Yolanda told me that she might be pressured to renew her contract with JSA, meaning that her commitment is back to three filming rounds rather than seven. That's not enough for Emori, but Yolanda could play Sienna instead? You have a scenario in which she dies later on. So she can still play a disabled character and we'd still have two Latina actresses on the main cast along with Renee playing Becca."

"Oh yeah, Emori is a good character," Barry approved. "So he'll be a Black male character who knows how to handle himself publicly but also when to ask for help and offer support privately. And I know that Raven and Lexa are the LGBTQ representatives, but Murphy and Emori being a major gay couple would be cool too. Especially since Raven doesn’t get paired with anyone else after Lexa's death."

"Miller and Monty get together by the end of the movie, and both will definitely be fan favorites," Linda defended.

"As individual characters, yeah," Iris agreed, "but not so much as a couple. Their friends to lovers story arc is a bit too cute and PG next to all the other _surviving_ badass couples...which are all heterosexual. Even Raven and Lexa were too sweet to each other in private for such assertive leaders. And the contrast is nice, don’t get me wrong..."

"No it’s not," Barry argued not for the first time. "It’s forced and doesn’t effectively masks the toxic nature of their relationship."

"You’re just bitter that you don’t get to make out with Iris in a rated-Rmovie," Linda childishly mocked Barry. "Come on, Allen, I managed to turn Raven and Roan into responsible allies, and their unresolved sexual tension is anything but cute. It makes Raven qualify as bisexual, just like Roan. The LGBTQ fans can’t come at me."

"But as an unofficial power couple they are heterosexual like the others," Iris reiterated her point. "Unless Emori is a Black man."

"Okay, I did write Murphy and Bellamy as a major power couple in an early draft," Linda let them know. "But I wanted a clear cut and long-lasting Arkadian-Grounder intercultural relationship, Octavia isn’t really Skaikru so she and Lincoln aren’t really that since their age gap is controversial. Ugh, why do I have to please everyone. This movie's already effortlessly diverse but you two are now trying to make me a crowd pleaser!"

"If you want effortlessly diverse, Victor Stone would make a great Emori," Iris suggested, remembering the actor better known under his social media username 'Cyborg'.

He was also nicknamed ‘the king of the geeks’, and at first Iris had thought that his disfigured face and prosthetic limbs were props. But no, he was truly disabled, the most famous one among Hollywoodians. And he was Black.

"A Black and real disable man," Linda reacted quietly. "And a nerd..."

"Geek," Iris and Barry specified. 

"Same family!" Linda insisted. "So I'll be able to rub it in Chester's face. He thinks that he's the most famous Black nerd out there!"

"You’re so petty," Iris teased her best friend.

"Isn’t Stone starring in the upcoming season of 'Titans'?" Barry realized. "So he’ll be Kory’s co-star!"

"No way!" Iris exclaimed, pleasantly surprised because she was good friend with Kory and—

"Gan Thet was a consulting cinematographer for ‘Starfire’!" Linda remembered. "That movie would’ve been nominated for an MAA if he’d worked on it full-time. So yeah, another connection to Gan Thet. Alright, Yolanda will play Sienna then, Emori’s gonna be my well-written Black male character since I clearly don’t know great Black men in real life."

"That was too passive-aggressive for you, Park," Barry quipped. "Have you found a new Lexa, though?"

"Right, we’ve all been assuming that Lexa’s still a white woman but I’m not so sure about it," Linda warned. "Good thinking on Emori, because at this stage I can’t think of anyone who can do most of her stunts..."

"What about Kara Danvers?" Iris suggested sheepishly after carefully chewing on her last sushi.

"Oh my God," Barry groaned.

"She's a singer," Linda pointed out with a skeptical frown.

Yes, the country-pop singer known under the stage name ‘Supergirl’ wasn't an actress, but she had the skills! Her most popular music videos were epic short films. They were directed by the acclaimed Lena Luthor, who used to be the great woman standing behind her brother Lex. But just like Kara got out of her male cousin’s shadow, Lena made a name for herself outside of her adoptive brother’s sphere of influence.

Kara could objectively play a great Lexa!

"Hey, didn't you two cross paths a few days ago?" Iris asked Barry. "I saw pictures!"

Barry had groaned because most of his fans had already started shipping him with Kara instead of keeping up the support for the Burrick ship. Never mind that both Barry and Kara were currently in separate long-term relationships.

For some arbitrary reason, Iris didn't like Kara's high school sweetheart, Monel something, or was Monel his last name? His fans called him 'the prince of country music'. The guy was clearly a racist, and Kara had called him out on a few of his 'inconsiderate' posts but she still dated him.

Why should she care, right? Just like Becky didn't have to care about the bigotry of Barry's parents. Their lives weren't affected by racism.

"Yeah, about that," Barry started, then sighed loudly. "Kara asked me to feature on her next album. She won't start recording until mid-spring next year, so after 'On The Mend' comes out in theater..."

"Will it affect your availability for the international promo tour?" Linda asked while Iris stared at the dark screen of her phone.

She knew where this was going: between 'On The Mend' and 'Graun Bilaik Skai', he'd be less invested in West-Allen.

"No, I told Kara that the movie was my priority, of course," Barry specified.

"Then I don't see a problem," Linda stated before looking at Iris.

She had her smile ready.

"Yeah, that's actually good timing, right? Then she can return the favor by joining the cast!" She proposed cheerfully. "If her own schedule will allow it."

Iris still couldn't believe that her best friend was going to film her movie in a crazier manner than 'On The Mend'. 'Graun Bilaik Skai' was an indi that would be filmed over a whole year, the story itself spanning _over five years._

There would be no promo before the release of a few teasers the same month as the movie release. There couldn’t be any promo anyways since most of the cast members would be onto other projects while Linda’s team painstakingly edited the movie.

Iris and Barry planned on doing heavy community outreach with the promotions of 'On The Mend', because 'Graun Bilaik Skai' would be all about making Linda _filthy rich._ Well, them too. 

"Hey, Paul says that I gotta go back," Barry warned them.

"Oh, yes, of course," Iris replied, remembering that he was at a meet-up. "Have fun!"

"Most fans have been asking for you," Barry let her know, his smile audible. "Not telling them about what's coming up is hard!"

"Hang in there," Iris cheered him up.

The video of their unplanned meeting outside Jitters hadn't just renewed the paparazzi's interest: it had caused a huge frenzy in the West-Allen fandom. They were calling Iris and Barry's comeback as a pair 'the WAve'. Those fans were so dramatic, but so creative and fun. Iris was blessed to have them.

"Yeah, don't spill the beans," Linda warned him half-seriously. "We'll tease them together when you get back in town," she then decided.

"Understood!" Barry acknowledged. "Later!"

"Later!" Iris and Linda said before the first hung up.

"Explain to me why you two aren't back together already?" Linda asked out of nowhere a second later.

"What, other than Barry's probably going to marry Becky?" Iris said lightly before getting serious. "I can't date _anyone_ right now, I'm still affected by my breakup! Lin, it took you a whole year to get over Ian!"

"Yeah, but I loved him," Linda argued. "I'm sure that Tony was good company and a good lay—"

"Linda!" Iris exclaimed, shocked and very much hurt.

She hadn't been in love with Tony, true, but she'd cared about him! A lot!

"Sorry for the tough love attitude, babe, but I don't want you mopping over that damn cheater the same way I mopped for Ian!" Linda explained. "A word from you, and Barry would be the amazing boyfriend you know you deserve. Come on, he's changed! If he can open his own company just so you could invest in it, what wouldn't he do for you?"

"He opened his own company to show Cisco what he missed out on," Iris corrected her. 

"But he did it after Cisco refused to let you buy his company's shares, right?" Linda insisted. "Three years later the whole thing still leaves me saying 'what the fuck!' Weren't we four supposed to get rich together?"

"We never made such a promise," Iris countered. "And I think that Cisco got upset that I tried to buy too many shares. It would've been a lot, like, seven percent of the company? More than Barry's shares for sure, maybe enough to have an influence over the board. So yeah, I can see why Cisco got upset. We've never been close friends, in fact Barry had to choose between us two after college. That's why he double-majored, and in the end he picked acting. Or rather, Cisco chose for him."

"And karma made it so that Barry's smaller and newer company got more awards than Cisco's!" Linda declared with a shrug. "But clearly Cisco holds no grudge since he decided to help out with 'On The Mend'."

"Right," Iris acknowledged neutrally.

She didn't want to sound paranoid, but she really thought that Cisco hadn't meant his apology to her, and that he'd _bribed_ his way into the cast of the movie to keep an eye on her and Barry. 

What in the world was his problem with her? She'd known Barry for longer than him!

"That 'Entrepreneurs' interview must have been awkward, still," Linda speculated. "By the way, Wally claims that everyone among the junior staff of Barry’s ’spaceship’ was low-key outraged that Barry was the one who got interviewed. He's just the figurehead, the white guy who collects the money after the minority people of the senior staff do all the hard work."

Minority people? Eliza Harmon was white too...but alright, people outside the company weren't aware that the Chief Medical Officer was also a member of the senior staff. Wait, had they borrowed the idea from Stargate Atlantis too? In any case—

"They're the senior staff but not the owners a.k.a the entrepreneurs," Iris pointed out. "My problem with that magazine is that it's elitist. They don't put the spotlight on business owners that their readers can closely identify with. Cisco's a genius, Barry's from old money and an actor. They help sell the dream but they're very different from the dreamers."

"True that," Linda acknowledged. "In any case, Wally won't tell you or Barry, but he's very happy to work with so many nerds. I’m weirded out by his uniform jackets, they look straight out of Star Trek. It is impressive that the offices look like they're part of a space cruise ship, smart idea to remodel a bankrupt hotel. But calling the employees 'crew members' is over the top, geez. Barry's the king of the nerds, alright!"

"The uniforms look more like they're straight out of the later seasons of Stargate Atlantis," Iris corrected her. "But you're right, the place couldn’t be any nerdier!"

They both burst in laughter, Iris feeling half guilty for not telling her best friend that she owned much more stocks to 'Barry's company' than Wally, Linda herself, Chester, and all their friends combined.

She was actually the _anonymous_ co-owner of ALlEN Space. Ship and hence she was Wally's other boss. The pun with Barry's last name was a misdirection. She'd tell her parents, Wally and Linda as soon as the company celebrated its fifth year. She didn't want to jinx its success by getting ahead of herself.

It was hard not to brag when her company had won so many awards at the end of its first year: most ethical company, best salaries, best working environment...and the one Barry was very proud of, most diverse business in the city, state, _and_ region. The only reason why they weren't top ten in the country was that they were too small.

"Hey, you side-tracked me!" Linda suddenly accused.

"About?" Iris played coy.

"You not getting back with Barry," Linda didn't give up. "I tolerated Tony because he was actually nice and because I didn't know that he could cheat on you. For fuck's sake, who cheats on this?!" She asked in outrage, waving a hand up and down to encompass Iris' form.

"I hope that you're including my personality in 'this'," Iris quipped.

"Barry would never, you know that!" Her best friend claimed.

"Barry's an amazing guy, of course he is," Iris agreed. "But his mother is full of hatred towards minority groups in general and towards me in particular. It's easy to accept the fact that Barry's ancestors owned slaves because they're long dead. But Barry's mother is very much alive and well."

(Nora Allen wasn't totally well, but Linda didn't need to know about her mental illness. Barry had assured Iris that her medical condition didn't affect her prejudicial behavior, in any case.)

"So? He can just dump her, along with Becky," Linda carelessly declared.

"Dump?" Iris repeated, incredulous. "Neither Becky or Nora are objects, Linda. Nora is _his mother!_ Would you have 'dumped' your parents for Wally?"

"No need because they're not extreme bigots," Linda immediately answered. "Yeah, they weren't too thrilled about me dating a Black man at first, but they came around when they met Wally in person. And now they're asking when he'll propose because he should still ask for their permission first," she concluded with a fond eye roll.

"That's great, Linda, I'm so happy for you," Iris declared with utmost sincerity and love, giving into the urge to hug her best friend...

...who burst in tears when she hugged her back?

"I want to be happy for you too!" Linda cried.

"Lin, come on, smile for me?" Iris requested while she wiped away her own silent tears. "Your professional and personal lives are heading towards exciting places! You should be celebrating, not crying. Chin up, Miss Park!"

"Future Mrs. West, if you please," Linda quipped between two sniffs, then quickly adding "no, Wally hasn't proposed yet, but he's started saving for the ring. I told him that he should tell me before asking for my parents’ permission. I don’t want a surprise proposal like you."

"Linda West?" Iris repeated. "You're not keeping your last name?"

"Exactly because I know that you will keep _yours_ even when you marry," Linda explained. "I want us to have the same last name, or at least part of it if you decide to hyphenate. I've always wanted us to be sisters for real, but I'll settle for niece and aunt-in-law."

"Aww, Lin!" Iris cooed, tears of happiness gathering in her eyes as she squeezed her best friend in a tighter hug. "But you could hyphenate too?"

"Park-West?" Linda said out loud when she leaned away, scrunching her nose adorably. "Maybe, but that sounds like someone giving directions to an Uber driver...don't laugh! Anyways, your mom took your dad's name, why are you so against it? I've always wondered. You're very traditional about marriage in general."

"Not traditional, _dramatic,_ " Iris corrected her. "I don't care about all the little rules, I just want everything to be grand. The real deal probably won’t measure up to the fantasy, it’s okay. And why should the wife change her name but not the husband? That's so patriarchal and heteronormative. And it's impractical for women who are career-oriented. Imagine all the paperwork you'll have to go through!"

"I don't mind," Linda declared with a shrug.

"I wouldn't mind either if both spouses were required to go through that hassle!" Iris explained with an eye roll, but easily went back to smiling before dropping a quick peck on Linda's cheekbone. "I'm so happy for you and my brat of a nephew, Lin, you have no idea!"

She heard Linda sigh in surrender. About Barry or about the last name change? Both, she supposed.

"I will get the romance that I deserve, okay?" She promised her best friend when they stepped away from each other. "Just not with him. You know what? After the premiere of 'On The Mend' I'll actively work on my own happy ending."

Linda smiled weakly, unconvinced.

(A/N: Barry showed off his knowledge of the language, titles and honorifics in Korean can be tricky for non-native speakers. He could've used some common and all-encompassing honorifics but he was very specific.

\+ director trifecta, a.k.a the three bosses of a movie set: the director, the 1st assistant director, and the director of photography = cinematographer.

Hope you liked the DC/Arrowverse name drops in this section!

As mentioned in the notes of Chapter 7 (Caitlin), Linda's masterpiece is a re-write of 'The 100', a CW show that would've been so good if the director wasn't a self-important bigot.)

* * *

4\. After Barry kicks Nora out (Chapter 9) = evening of the day he posted the video with Linda on Twitter (Chapter 3) = one week after the premiere of Burette 2. (Chapter 3)

"You're acting weird," Becky commented halfway through dinner.

'Weird' was good, or at least better than how Barry felt.

Lost, heartbroken...grieving?

Because, as far as he was concerned, he was an orphan now. Or he wanted to feel that way, but it was so hard to.

He couldn't even block their phone numbers. He'd unsaved them, not for his own sake since he knew them by heart anyways, but in case other people saw his phone light up from a phone call.

He couldn't block their phone numbers because deep down he was scared of what his mother would do if she learned the truth. She would definitely warn him by text before doing anything, right? And really she couldn't do anything, could she? But what if his father helped her this time, instead of being a reluctant spectator of her non-medical craziness? And what if his grandparents got involved?

No, they wouldn't. Barry was an adult now and he'd been an adult when he'd done it, so there was nothing anyone could do about it, except Iris. But she hadn't said anything. He could change it, sure, but now that he was known internationally such a procedure wouldn't go unnoticed. If his mom noticed, then the press would too.

He could already tell that he would cave in and pick up a call eventually, but he just couldn't block their phone numbers. At the end of the day, they were his parents.

They'd given him life. _A good life,_ with all the books and toys and vacations that he'd asked for; they'd fed him the healthiest foods and had put expensive clothes on his back; they'd let him be a nerd, a teenage model and an actor; they'd taught him, directly and indirectly, to be assertive, to work for what he wanted and to never let anyone make him feel unworthy of his comfort or success.

And Iris was right: they'd passively taught him how to express his romantic feelings.

_All the good that did him._

As a child, he'd loved two books best: 'The Runaway Dinosaur' and 'Awesome Breonna'. He had neither in his possession now: since he'd been forced to give the second one back to Iris in order not to upset his fraud of a 'loving and patient' mother, he'd found it only fair to return the first book to that same fraud so that _he_ _himself_ wouldn't be upset by its sight. 

He'd only ever shared his toys with his cousins during the holidays, whereas he'd wanted to share them with the kids at the playground and at Carmichael, then with Chester, Meena and Ryan, then with Cisco. And with Iris too, of course. But his parents hadn't let him.

Just like they'd never let him go on trips with his friends, and he'd always had two birthday parties: one at home with his parents and one at some improvised location to hang out with his friends. He could've invited just his white friends home, of course, but that only made sense in his parents' minds. His friends had invited him to their birthday parties, and until he got his license he always had to leave early because he had to bike all the way back home before dinner, and after he got his license the parties were kind of repetitive and anyways he was busy making the money that would allow him to throw epic parties at his own place during college...

He'd been a nerd, alright, he still was. His modeling career had been dwindling for a few years now and it seemed to be past its peak now that his acting career had taken off. 

He was quite assertive whenever he was pissed off or upset. He usually preferred blending into the crowd and would rather defer to others people's executive decisions than take charge, but when he felt threatened, challenged or uncomfortable he tried very hard to gain control of the situation. He could be upfront or downright petty about it, depending on his mood.

(He'd like to think that he learned to be petty from Cisco.)

Barry's least favorite moment of assertiveness as a teenager was definitely when he'd gotten that light crew guy fired at the No Dram4 photo shoot with the great Peter Merkel. That Seamus guy had intentionally made Iris feel bad by sounding like an 'ignorant' douchebag and Barry couldn't have let it slide.

He'd understood why the comment about Iris' hair had gotten under her skin, to the point that it had affected her performance for the first half of the shoot: it had hit a sore point. 

When Barry and Iris were dating, she'd let slip that her mom was disappointed that she wore wigs or her own hair 'bone straight' instead of showing off her natural hair in all its forms. Several years later Barry could imagine that D.A. West had hoped that her daughter would be just like her, showing the world that Black women's natural curly hair was 'professional' too.

Iris had been forced to follow the industry's beauty standards, of course, but with hindsight Barry suspected that Iris herself had also wanted to blend in rather than stand out.

She had worn the cornrows that Seamus had expected to see, many times before... _until high school._ Afterwards, she'd only worn them at home and taken them out before going in public. Barry could tell because he was familiar with the curl pattern she achieved from the hairstyle.

As her boyfriend he'd loved her hair in all its forms but especially when it was messy, because that meant that she'd been too distracted to put it up before they made out or had sex. Now he regretted not learning to help her preserve the hairstyles for which she'd invested so much time and effort.

It stung a bit, knowing that he hadn't been as great of a boyfriend as he thought he was at the time. In his defense, Iris never talked about her hair, and a book he'd read by an African-American author when he was twelve had advised non-Blacks to keep their mouths shut on the topic of Black hair unless they were hair care professionals. Because people like Barry would never understand the trauma that Black women and men had gone through and were still going through being told that their hair was ugly or unsuitable for specific settings.

Barry couldn't understand, true, but even as a teenager _he'd known_ that the light tech's comment had upset Iris more than any other more obvious racist remark ever had. Linda had almost jumped the guy and even Cisco had looked outraged for Iris, because they too had known that Seamus was out of line. 

Iris had previously lectured Barry about keeping things 'professional' and that's exactly what he'd done even when he'd blatantly _bullied_ the studio manager.

Being polite wouldn't have achieve anything. Standing up for the other white teenage models had been one thing, but defending Iris had been another: he couldn't just innocently point out that others were being treated differently. Those adult employees always had dumb comebacks about how 'obviously' they couldn't treat Iris the same way they treated the others since she _was_ 'different'.

Barry knew that the way he'd talked to Jake Simmons wasn't the right way to create a more equitable work environment, and he'd never done that again. Knowing that it was a one-time thing, he'd waited for Iris, Linda and the photographer to be out of sight and earshot, and had sent Cisco on a wild goose chase errand in order to be alone with the studio manager for five minutes or so.

*

_"Barry, hi! Come on in, unless you're looking for Peter? I'm afraid he just left._

_"Actually I wanted to bring a problem to your attention, Mr. Simmons."_

_"Oh, just call me Jake!"_

_"Ah...my parents always tell me to use titles to show respect. Is Mr. Simmons not okay?"_

_"Actually, Mr. Simmons is fine, Barry. What a polite young man you are! It's so rare nowadays, your parents should be proud. How may I help?"_

_"I don't want to sound ungrateful, Mr. Simmons, this photo shoot has been a great experience for me..."_

_"The pleasure is ours, Barry, really! We're a small and fairly new company, family-owned and run. So you're the one doing us a favor by sharing your fame."_

_"Thank you. Well, I'm only famous because I'm paired with Iris, you know?"_

_"I wouldn't say that, but yes I've seen quite a few pictures of you around. You are so inspirational at such a young age! Your work ethics is beyond commendable. No one would know that you're actually dating from seeing you interact today. You should be proud!"_

_"Actually, Iris and I aren't dating."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"I'm very sorry about the confusion, Barry! Really, ha, that wasn't very professional of me just now, was it?"_

_"It's alright, we get that all the time. I do care a lot about Iris. We've known each other since we were kids. I mean, even younger than now. Since first grade."_

_"Oh, really? That explains your...friendship, and great interaction with each other, right?"_

_"Yeah, when I'm around Iris I don't worry about doing things wrong because even if the photographer is too nice to correct me she'll give me sincere feedback, and I'd do the same for her. We're not nervous because we know that we have each other's backs."_

_"A buddy system, huh? It seems to be working great for you two!"_

_"Yes, but...I feel guilty for not being able to do anything when Iris is the victim of prejudice. That's not me having her back."_

_"Prejudice, yes that's terrible, isn't it? In the twenty-first century. Really deplorable. Who would attack such an innocent young girl, really?"_

_"One of your employees did today, Mr. Simmons!_ _"_

_"Pardon?"_

_"A member of the light crew. It was a micro aggression more than outright racism. You know about micro aggression?"_

_"Of course, yes, I do! And I'm...I assure you, I'll let whoever did it know that I expect better from him. There won't be a problem next time, Barry, I assure you."_

_"...alright, thank you Mr. Simmons. But I don't think that either Iris or I will accept any jobs involved with your studio in the future."_

_"What? Why? I promise you, I'll tell Seamus to watch his tongue!"_

_"I didn't say the name of the crew member."_

_"Ah..."_

_"Earlier you said 'him' even though there are women in that crew too."_

_"Oh, well, that's—"_

_"So it's not Seamus' first time being rude to people of color. Or women? Both?"_

_"Like I said, I'll tell him to—"_

_"Will you? He wouldn't have been rude to Iris today if you'd actually reprimanded him the previous times!"_

_"I did, but this time I will make things clear!"_

_"Because Iris and I are more famous than the others? Wow, you're such a hypocrite!"_

_"You're out of line Barry! Yes, you're a bit famous, but who do you think you are, talking to me like that?"_

_"I'm a white male in America...oh, wait, so are you. And Seamus. But I'm rich, so that makes me superior to you both, right?"_

_"W-what? What do you mean, rich?"_

_"I don't need to work, you know? My mom's family is old money. But I love modeling, especially when I get to work with Iris. We are professionals, and we are proud of our craft. But to give our best we need an environment conducive to productivity—"_

_"You think that a spoiled brat like you can tell me how the industry works? Get out of here! Leonard will hear about this!"_

_"I'm one of his best-paid models, so of course Len—Mr. Snart will hear about this. And Mr. Merkel too, of course. A great photographer like him won't want to work with your small, young and racist company once I tell him—"_

_"How dare you threaten me?"_

_"I wasn't threatening you, but interrupt me one more time, Mr. Simmons, and I'll show you what I mean by old money. Go ahead."_

_"..."_

_"No? You don't want to teach a spoiled brat a lesson?"_

_"..."_

_"How many times have you felt like this at work, huh...Jake? Like you can't talk back to someone who feels superior to you even though they aren't?"_

_"..."_

_"Answer me!"_

_"This is the first time, of course, you little—"_

_"Well, suck it up, because it probably will be the only time ever! Meanwhile, I don't have enough fingers on my hands to count the number of times it will happen to Iris by the time she's your age! And isn't it 'deplorable' that people like you, who have the power to make this industry more equitable, allow assholes like Seamus to judge and stereotype young girls like Iris, huh? Do you pay Seamus to 'attack innocent young girls' with his micro aggressions?"_

_"Of course not! How can you suggest—"_

_"Then fire him, Mr. Simmons, or he'll make you lose significantly more money than he's worth. Fire him, then apologize to Iris for his 'deplorable' behavior since you enabled it."_

_"What—I can't..."_

_"You don't have to mean your apology, you closeted racist! But if I don't hear about Seamus getting fired from Iris herself, I'll tell Mr. Merkel about this very enlightening conversation, and I'll tell all the models I know about you, teenagers and adults. And of course I'll tell Mr. Snart, and Miss Snart. You know Lisa Snart, right, the real boss at YC? She likes Iris so much that she pays her as much as the senior models...yeah, that's right. Iris never complains about the prejudice she experiences, she doesn't want to cause trouble because that would lead to more stereotyping against her. But you can bet that I'll tell our bosses for her. Because I've got her back. And that's just what I can do on my own, without going on the internet or bringing in my family's influence."_

_"You...! How could you..."_

_"Embrace this unique moment of powerlessness, Mr. Simmons. Feel every ounce of it, and remember it when you tell Iris why you fired Seamus: because your business has zero tolerance for racism, especially micro aggressions. Tell Iris that she should feel comfortable to work here again without feeling judged or stereotyped, because that's the minimum requirement for an atmosphere conducive to creativity."_

_"I—I'll do it, of course, you're right...atmosphere conducive to creativity, okay."_

_"I'll leave the door open so you don't miss Iris when she leaves. But fire Seamus first."_

_"I will, I promise. No need to bother Leonard or Lisa. I'll fix this misunderstanding immediately. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, Barry."_

_"Thank you for doing something about it this time. I'll see myself out. Have a good day, Mr. Simmons."_

_"...you as well, Bar—Mr. Allen."_

_"Oh. Um, thanks."_

_*_

He disliked how much of his mother's arrogance he'd channeled to do it.

"Nerd?" Becky's voice made him blink back to the present, to the new place he'd bought with the combined money of the sale of his first condo and his paycheck for Burette 2.

Thankfully for Barry's secret, Becky had refused to be on the lease for this one because she mostly slept at her parents' nowadays, and frankly Barry knew that she would end their arrangement sometimes soon even if she couldn't achieve complete financial stability by then. Being his fake girlfriend wasn't working for her anymore.

(Nor for him. God, he missed sex. He didn't even want to date anyone for real, he just needed to break that three-year dry spell!)

Except for Becky's bedroom, her touch was minimal in the decoration of his new home.

She'd only contributed the placemats for the dining table where they were currently enjoying some spaghetti aglio, olio e peperoncino. That's all Barry had had the time and energy to cook after recovering from what happened earlier.

"Are you going to eat or what?" Becky questioned him.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied as he started to play around with his food.

He couldn't eat right now. He was seriously afraid that he'd throw the spaghetti right back up because...under the devastation of losing his family, he was _disgusted._

Disgusted by his m—by Nora Allen's attitude. All these years, he'd thought that _she'd changed._

After threatening Iris, kicking her out and telling Barry to go to SCU for college, she'd stopped ranting about minority groups in front of Barry. She'd stopped saying 'that girl' too, even when she'd looked at the magazine pictures that Barry shared with Iris. She hadn't said a thing about 'Gold Standard' other than her family teased her about becoming as famous as her son if she'd used her good looks too.

So Barry had naively thought that she'd reflected on her unacceptable attitude. He'd thought that it was why she hadn't stopped him from working with Iris back in the day.

But she'd simply known that ruining his very successful career would've led people to talk around town. Nora, or at least Henry, was aware that people in their social circles already didn't think very highly of them. Therefore, they hadn't wished to be seen as tyrannical parents. 

Not only that, but Barry realized not half an hour ago that Nora had believed that he'd been done working with Iris forever.

In her defense, even some West-Allen fans had feared that 'Gold Standard' was the glorious end of Barry and Iris' partnership...professional _and_ personal. Yeah, he knew that a lot of them thought or wished that he and Iris were secretly together. The rumors would be even wilder after the trailer of 'On The Mend', when the fans would realize that he knew Russian. He really shouldn't have been so smug displaying his shoulder tattoo for that 'Education' cover. Oh well.

Now the fans knew that West-Allen was making a comeback. Not that Barry and Iris had ever stopped 'working' together.

Ironically, Barry owed that fact to Cisco.

Though they eventually reconciled, Barry had needed to put his friendship with the genius CEO on hold when he got unnecessarily rude to Iris.

He'd already been bitter that Cisco hadn't sold him more shares of Ramon Industries after the company's successful first year. It wasn't about the money, Barry hadn't been desperate to get more out of his initial investment; but Cisco had broken his promise and not only had he offered no explanation for doing it but he hadn't expressed any explicit apology either. 

Accusing Iris of being out of her mind for thinking that she had any right to his company had been preposterous.

So what if Iris could've gained the power to influence the way Ramon Industries was run? It would've been a great thing! Cisco was a business shark, though better than the Thompsons because his employees, partners and customers won with him. His aggressive business strategy was understandable considering the general competitiveness in the biotech sector, but there were many things that he could've done and still could do to improve the culture of his company, like _genuinely_ giving back to the community. Iris could've helped with that: she'd remained very active with community service and non-profit work even after high school.

Of course it had been easy for Barry to talk back then, he hadn't been in Cisco's or his grandparents' shoes. He'd really wanted to show his family and best friend how things were supposed to be done, but with a very young credit history (courtesy of Nora holding his bank account hostage for the first four years of his adulthood) he'd unfortunately had no chance of getting loans to create his own company. He could've done it in Star City through his family's connections, but that would've defeated the whole purpose of doing things his own way.

He still couldn't believe how, when he'd mentioned his frustration to Iris, she'd casually suggested he use _her money_ to do it.

She'd made it sound so simple too: since she couldn't invest in Ramon Industries, she'd gladly invest in a business she could trust even more: his! And no need for him to pay her back since she'd be a shareholder anyways. Just like he'd done with Cisco. He hadn’t told her why he couldn’t get enough loans back then because she hadn’t asked.

At first he’d been skittish about becoming Iris' business partner for a few reasons, the main one being that she was talking about lending him _a hell lot of money_ —like, damn, how much of her net worth was that?!

(Maybe, _maybe_ Cisco was justified in being upset that Iris would've bought that many shares to his company without forewarning him. He still shouldn’t have reacted in such bad faith! He might have still been upset by his breakup with Cynthia.)

Barry once dreamed about losing all that money. That made him freak out for weeks. 

So, over the year and a half it took to acquire all relevant licenses and permits as well as remodela bankrupt hotel's building to house the offices, Barry had learned all he could about running a company in those industries—even though he wouldn't be the one doing it. In between modeling gigs, TV and movie productions, he and Iris had brainstormed ideas then come up with the company's internal culture and community involvement.

When Iris had told him that she'd reviewed the final paperwork with her lawyer and that everything was in order, he'd counted his blessings and hadn't argued. She'd probably not said anything believing that he would change eventually, and yes, he meant to.

Eventually. There was no rush anyway.

They'd celebrated the inauguration of ALlEN Space. Ship's together and with all among their friends who could make it...including _Cisco_ _and Chester._

Getting Chester's friendship back last year had led to the best and oddest things in Barry's career.

Best because Chester landing a role for 'On The Mend' along with Iris made the production seem like a school reunion; oddest because when the producers almost fired Linda for her outlandish budget and filming ideas, Chester apparently pressured Cisco to help...which resulted in Ramon Industries sponsoring the movie and Cisco being part of the cast.

Cisco Ramon, self-proclaimed busiest genius in the country, getting a role in a movie filmed in five different locations? What had the casting directors been thinking? Granted, Cisco had learned a lot about looking good on camera from being Barry's PA in high school, and he didn't need to act, just play his genius self. Still...did he bribe someone?

But, hey, Barry was going to spend months on end playing badass nerd with his friends, all the while traveling to five different locations. Did he have the best job in the world or what!

It would've been perfect if Iris had gotten any role _other than Mariam._ The two of them playing lovers, for real?

Better Iris than Caitlin Snow, he supposed. Cisco's other best friend was nice, she even completed Cisco's sentences at times! But she made him very uncomfortable at times. 

Which reminded him: he still needed to talk to—

"Is this about that real blonde again?" Becky's question made Barry blink back to the present. "You should've let her finish saying what she wanted to say about me during that premiere interview! I like Spencer Young, but she messed up big time getting our names confused."

"Uh-huh," Barry scoffed, though he wasn't amused by the reminder of that interview. 

Most of Patty's fans thought that Barry didn't care about his girlfriend just because he'd greeted Nora rather than Becky during that Spyn Zone interview. In reality, he'd changed subjects to make Patty drop her comment about Becky, which hadn't started nicely at all.

She was the lead actress, sure, but _no one_ disrespected the people he cared about to his face. Earlier he'd even shut down the only person who he'd allowed to be exception to the rule.

Plus, Barry had been worried that Becky might actually go on the internet to say what she thought of Patty in turn. Paul wasn't paid to manage _her_ public image.

"Since you're so out of it, now is a good time to tell you that I signed up for a seminar in D.C. for the weekend of Thanksgiving," Becky announced in one breath.

He blinked again. Why had she said it so fast? He hadn't expected to spend Thanksgiving with her in the first place.

"I'll be filming during Thanksgiving," he reminded her with a shrug. "It might be the same for Christmas and the New Year. We're really behind schedule for this movie."

That last statement was true, but he really doubted that Linda would ask anyone to show up on set during Christmas and the New Year. So now Barry had to figure out where to spend the last week of the year incognito.

(A/N: Like I said in the opening notes I lost my outline, so I actually forgot about ALlEN Space. Ship. That's what happens when you delete too many sections of your drafts! Glad it was still in Chapter 6. Warning that I decided to make the reason for **Cisco's wishful oblivion** to Barry and Iris' relationship a bit more serious than in chapter 1!)

* * *

5\. Last night of Becky visiting Anchorage (Chapter 6).

**"You're still pretending to date her,"** Iris blurted out in **Russian a** fter she shoved Barry's script into his chest. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked very casually in English, and oh he was good, but he should've fake-dated _an actress_ if he truly wanted to fool her!

Becky Cooper hadn't come to Anchorage to see him. Iris hadn't been crazy the day before thinking that Becky didn't care to see her boo in action. She really didn't. When Iris gave her a tour of the set yesterday, Becky had barely paid attention because she was leafing through tourist guides.

She was enjoying her solo vacation!

And when Iris had gone back to the lodge to wake up Linda from her power nap earlier today, she'd found out that Becky wanted to ditch Barry and his 'inferior sleeping accommodations' to go to the four star hotel two blocks away from the lodge. In her defense, the lodge was crowded with half of the cast and crew members at best, overcrowded with the entire production during Linda's update meetings. Not tourist friendly at all.

Iris really hadn't meant to see the text messages Becky had been typing to Barry a few hours ago...okay, yes, she'd looked in the direction of Becky's phone screen, but Becky had made it too easy. In Iris' defense, it had happened when they'd been squeezed in the elevator of the lodge with a group of crew members rushing for lunch.

**Me: That bed is too small!**

**Nerd King: It's a queen size just like mine and yours back home.**

**Me: And I sleep on either one ALONE. It's too crowded with you on it too!**

**Nerd King: We didn't even touch!**

**Nerd King: Come on, it's only for a couple more hours tomorrow morning. Then you can go back to your queen size bed.**

**Me: Or to yours.**

**Nerd King: Definitely not!**

**Me: Anyways.**

**Me: I still can't believe that a superstar like you was given such inferior sleeping accommodations.**

Iris had an exhausting filming day and by all accounts she should be asleep right now. Tomorrow she had intense scenes with none other than Cisco's character Tomas, the movie's minor antagonist.

Not only did those scenes require her best as an actress, but even personally Iris needed to be mentally fresh to deal with Cisco, who was still weird around her. He was currently on a business trip in Minnesota and would arrive in Anchorage in the afternoon. 

So yes, she needed rest, but she couldn't sleep for a few reasons, one of them being that she couldn't make sense of Barry's long-term and _fake_ relationship!

"Iris, what are you doing here?" Barry repeated calmly as he rolled his script with both hands. "You don't have a scene tonight."

 **"Your girlfriend left your..."** Iris kept going in **Russian,** pointing at the stack of pages she'd just given him. **"She left your script at the reception so that someone could bring it to you. How thoughtful of her, right? Too bad she doesn't know that you just rip off the pages that you need and leave the rest behind."**

She ostensibly eyed the way he kept both hands on the paper tube. She paid good attention to his right hand—the one he often used to rub the back of his neck when he was nervous—but it didn't fidget.

He was so good! But Iris knew how to make him break character. It might break the box in her own head, but maybe not. This wasn't about her heart. It was still broken. This was about her head and gut agreeing that she needed to take care of her little personal problem ASAP.

She glanced around her, and saw Linda talking to the DP. Lyla and John were rehearsing with their stunt doubles. Caitlin was biting a nail while reading her lines. David Singh—Jesus, Iris was not over the fact that she was starring in the same movie as _David Singh!—_ was on the phone, probably with his husband.

Everybody else was busy moving props around, checking on the equipment, or still packing up for the evening if they hadn't finished passing the relay stick to their night shift counterparts.

No one was paying attention to them, and why would they? The co-leads chatting in Russian? That was the most expected part of the production.

 **"I'm here because I can't sleep,"** she answered, semi-truthful. **"And I can't sleep because I can't make sense of what you and Cooper are playing at!"**

**"We're not playing,"** Barry denied, and Iris couldn't stop herself from rubbing her forehead and shaking her head. She was the one who couldn't calm her nerves, clearly...

...because she was _horny_ and she needed to do something about it or Linda would kill her when the quality of her performance suddenly dropped.

God, it had only been three months since she'd last had sex and she was already going crazy. That's because everyday for a month now she'd been in the presence of a stupidly sexy man who she knew could satisfy her kink, something that no other partner had done!

(Mostly because she hadn't trusted college students not to brag on the internet about having kinky sex with her, and because Tony hadn't passed the bedroom handcuffs test: he'd kept asking if she was okay, and had even asked if it was some weird daddy-kink...that's what she got for dating _that kind_ of jock.)

Why should have great orgasms on her own, when she could have great orgasms _and_ mind-blowing sex with a guy who was basically single? 

**"I saw your texts with her yesterday,"** she confessed with a shrug. **"Sorry but not really."**

He barely reacted. He better get an academy award soon! Not those fan-favorite awards which were nice but all knew that the ones he'd earned earlier this year were meant to keep his fans engaged with the Burette fandom.

 **"It's complicated,"** he declared, shrugging his shoulders dismissively and making Iris want to shove him, because what the heck?

 **"Sounds pretty simple to me,"** she argued with a dismissive hand wave of her own. **"You and her have had the same friends with benefits relationship since high school! Why, Barry? I thought that you'd changed, that your parents didn't influence your social life anymore?"**

 **"They don't!"** He responded a bit too loudly, making crew members stare for a moment.

His right hand went up to rub the back of his neck.

_Gotcha!_

What she was about to do was so inappropriate, but he was free to tell her off...he knew that, right?

 **"I'm not judging, I just want in on the same deal,"** she rushed to say, shame crawling up her throat.

Oh God.

What was she even doing? Could she backpedal and blame hormones on this?

 **"Excuse me?"** He asked, his voice going very quiet.

 **"You heard me,"** she deadpanned, deciding to hold her ground.

They had the 'love scene' coming up in a few days and she wasn't sure that she could compartmentalize if she kept all that pent-up sexual energy inside.

 **"Just so we're clear,"** Barry started, and no, that was actually _Lev:_ his accent turned neutral and his eyes squinted in that cool way Barry had come up with for his original character. He was standing taller too, or Iris just felt smaller in her embarrassment.

(Did Barry do that consciously, switching to his character's persona off-camera? Iris couldn't tell. He'd told her that it started happening after the 'Imitating Life' program, but this was her first time witnessing it.) 

**"You came here to tell me that you want me to fuck you since my official relationship is fake?"** He questioned her.

 **"Unless you and Becky are exclusive,"** Iris specified, because she was feeling less brave now, her feet itching to get her out of there.

Of course Barry, or Lev-Barry, whatever...he caught her fidgeting.

 **"What? You've changed your mind already? Want to run away again?"** He challenged her with a one-sided smirk. **"You know, I've always wanted to ask: did you let your arm** **tattoo fade? Because when it comes to us you've never really applied that 'don't run, stay and fight' message."**

 **"That's a lie, Barry,"** she hissed. **"You've always been the coward of us two."**

 **"What?"** He reacted, surprised but remaining in character.

**"Do you know why I want sex with you in particular? Yes, you know why: we both have a bondage kink. But who was the one who kept saying that we needed to do more research when I wanted to move on from cute little silk ties, huh?"**

**"We were kids doing things in secret!"** He reminded her. **"We didn't know what we were doing!"**

 **"Oh, are we pretending that I didn't notice your books on BDSM back then, hidden in plain sigh right next to 'The Runaway Dinosaur'?"** She confronted him so many years later.

That dropped him out of character, somehow.

 **"Let's go somewhere else, please,"** He then suggested.

She'd also noticed the increased attention on them, so to fool the crew members walking a bit too slowly she gestured for him to pass her the script so she could pretend to read her lines, which he did seamlessly.

As they moved towards the entrance doors of the building, they genuinely commented on a shared scene that they thought they could've done better but Linda had refused and re-shoot because she'd been satisfied.

No one was going to disturb them by the front doors of the building where they were filming the FBI and lev versus the bad Russian spies (they were good ones too, Linda hadn't wanted to perpetuate the trope of the inherently evil Russians) because there were drafts that made the place quite chilly, worse than at the back door where smokers took breaks. Iris could detect a little bit of her breath in the air, even.

"Yes, I'd read books about bondage," Barry admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets. "But you hadn't, and I didn't want to freak you out with all the things I wanted to try. I still think that there's something wrong with me, you know? My kink emerged around the time—"

"I was training too hard to vent off my frustration and was always bruised and bandaged, yeah, I eventually pieced it together," Iris finished his sentence, looking at a page of the script without reading it. "But I think that there's a good side to it? At least for me. Boxing made me feel strong and in control. When I wore bandages on my hands and wrists and too-tight sports bra, I was ready to zone in and be badass. And I always ended up sweaty and out of breath so...yeah, I should've seen the transfer to sex coming."

She looked up after Barry remained silent for several seconds. He looked speechless.

"What?"

"I...I-I mean," Barry stuttered, his cheeks and ears going deep red right under her confused gaze. "Yes of course, that makes sense," he stated, managing to sound confident even though she could read surprise in his eyes.

Neither his fans nor the critics fully appreciated how his voice was very much his best asset as an actor. Hopefully hearing him speak different languages would make the critics pay attention this time. The fans would for sure notice after he featured in Supergirl's next album.

(Would he branch out to singing, too? Not that it would be a bad thing, but...never mind.)

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," Barry agreed with conviction in his eyes this time, "it was before...wow, all these years..." 

All these years what?

"But what about," he started asking with a frown but paused when their eyes met.

Barry swallowed audibly, and failed to hold her gaze. His eyes slid down to her neck.

Oh, oh, he really shouldn't have done that. Now she was back to being horny!

Her most explosive orgasm ever was from him making her come on the fingers of one hand while the other was holding her neck, warm and soft...

Huh, he still looked clueless, he hadn't figured out—

"Scarves," she managed to keep her tone neutral even though her lower belly was heating up and she was aching from feeling empty between her legs.

He blinked, once, twice.

"You always forgot to wear a scarf in cold weather," he finally remembered. "No, you didn't forget, you put it away in your bag on purpose—and at Carmichael I'd always remind you to wear it. I'd always fix it since you did a poor job of wrapping your scarf."

"Aunty Sasha never wore scarves, and even my parents favor high-collared sweaters to forgo scarves," Iris tried to remember her younger self's reasoning, smiling fondly when she recalled that "I liked it when you went on your tippy toes to cover me up. I got to see your freckles from up close. And your ridiculously long eyelashes."

Those eyelashes in questions fluttered as Barry blinked some more.

"You looked so serious making sure that my neck wasn't exposed," Iris recalled, unable to stop from grinning wider as Barry rolled his eyes. "You were as fussy as my mom! Well I'm assuming that your mom did the same for you." 

Did he flinch? Oh, because she mentioned his mom.

Speaking of, Iris hadn't seen him call his parents since they'd started filming. He'd given them brief but regular phone calls when they were filming the trailer, so why not now? Instead he'd been taking secretive phone calls with some secret caller, always isolating himself to corners when no one could hear him.

"In high school I...I was so annoyed that neither Jake or Malcolm lent you their scarves," Barry confessed. "But of course unlike me they knew better than to mess with your hair. I finally got it after the No Dram4 photo shoot. What a clueless boyfriend I was."

Oh?

Iris had never resented Barry for not being careful with her hair. She hadn't expected a white boy to understand, not even Barry. She could tell that he admired her hair in all its forms, and unlike Tony he remembered the names of the hairstyles she wore. But when they'd been dating, her hair had seemed to be little more than a nuisance to Barry for being in the way of her neck—which was still his weakness from the looks of it.

Since he was distracted...

"So we agree, you were the one who was scared to explore our kink?" She prompted him.

Then rolled her eyes when he looked back up into her eyes and frowned stubbornly, mumbling "I wasn't scared."

Okay, maybe she'd been a bit cowardly too. Compromising was best, right?

"Well, I guess that I shouldn't have lied about those books on Shibari and Kinbaku either."

"Huh?"

"I did buy them when we were dating," Iris confessed with a stiff shrug. "Still have them today. At home, I mean. I can tie a few arms-free chest harnesses on my own now—it's time consuming, of course, but so worth it. How fast can you tie those?"

His jaw dropped, his face the epitome of 'mind-blown'.

While he recovered his brain faculties, Iris' own horny brain went on overdrive.

It reminded her of another time when Barry had looked just as shell-shocked: when they'd been dating and she'd told him that they could try having sex without condoms because they were both clean and it was a safe day for her.

She remembered that they'd been very awkward in the aftermath of one of their hottest if not their hottest sex. The clean up had been just...Iris had whispered 'ew' and 'ugh' so many times, and poor Barry had felt terrible for making her feel so uncomfortable and disgusted. They hadn't done it without a condom ever again. Teenagers!

They really should've discussed it in details beforehand, but they'd been too eager to try it. And they'd definitely been nervous because they'd been so talkative, alternating between English and Russian. It was normal for Iris but rare for Barry, who usually mixed all the languages he knew when the sex got intense.

After eating her out to a first orgasm, he'd entered her from behind—had that been their first time in doggy style? Very possibly.

Because Iris had blurted out that he felt bigger in that position, and when he'd worryingly asked if it was too much, if she was uncomfortable? She'd reassured him that like always he was making her feel good and cared for. Between moans and gasps of pleasure, she'd confessed that he was annoyingly tall at times but that she didn't mind too much, that it actually made her feel safe because she was so tiny and he was her teddy bear.

Barry's grip on her hips had turned tighter and his thrusts sharper. He'd then done something he almost never did: he'd asked about her exes. He'd asked if they'd made her feel safe too since they were as tall as him. She'd answered honestly of course, too high on pleasure to lie or filter her words. She'd explained how she'd been so comfortable around Jake that she'd zoned out and fantasized about Barry instead of Jake himself; and she'd admitted that Malcolm's argumentative attitude had made him physically intimidating, whereas even when she and Barry disagreed with each other Iris never wanted to step away from him. She always wanted to get closer and hug him and kiss him—

A strangled noise made present Iris blush furiously in front of a Barry who now had a hand gripping his hair, the pupils of his wide eyes dilated because of course he could read hers. He could tell that she was reminiscing their sexy times.

Of course he couldn't specifically tell that she was soaking her panties remembering how his seventeen-year-old self had gently pulled out of her dripping pussy and had scooted down to sit at the edge of her bed. Then he'd extended his long arm to reach out and hook two fingers to the knot of the satin hair scarf he'd used to tie her up. He'd pulled on it, encouraging her to shuffle on her knees, had even told her in Russian to come sit on him in that irresistible low voice of his. He'd admitted that he loved hugging her too, that he craved hugging her in public all the time. When she'd been close enough to the edge of the bed, he'd lifted her linked arms and had dipped his head down to slip inside her loose embrace. After straightening back up to a tall seated position, he'd adjusted her bound wrists so she could hold onto the back of his neck. With that anchor, straddling him had been easy for Iris, and she'd cooed in pleasure at the hot and damp contact of their torsos.

Today Iris couldn't remember which between Barry licking the sweat off her neck or him teasing her clit with the tip of his cock head had made her gasp first, but she remembered whispering "teddy bear" in Russian, which had been so inappropriate because while he'd been cuddly he'd also started talking filthily in her ear. While sliding his tip to her entrance, he'd told her that he already knew that he was about to come so fucking hard. That he knew she would feel so fucking good, wet and tight just like when they used condoms, but that he couldn't lie that he was losing his mind over the idea that his DNA would stay in her for three to four days. That he was a bit jealous because he also wanted to have her cells in him for seventy-two to ninety-six hours and fuck he couldn't wait to be in her.

She couldn't wait either, but then that dork had teased her for a whole minute, rubbing himself against her entrance but not going inside. When she'd whined impatiently, moving her hips around blindly, he'd reminded her that they'd gone one week without sex, without anything but chaste kisses back when he was reviewing for his SAT test.

Iris had been sexually frustrated because she found him so sexy whenever he was focused on school stuff. She'd kept her distances most days of that week because it was that hard to keep her hands to herself when Barry looked serious and remained mostly still for long periods of time. 'Mostly' because both of his hands moved a lot, to take notes or to flip his pencil, and she found it so cool that he was ambidextrous.

So just before Barry had finally helped her lower down on his dick she'd told him that when they went to college they'd have to figure out a destress system because that SAT celibacy had been torture. Then they'd both made incoherent sounds because the sensations were a bit different without a condom. Right after Iris had definitely gasped because Barry had proceeded to licking and sucking her neck and collarbones. They'd let out loud moans and whimpers while grinding their pelvises together, and had gone right back to being chatterboxes.

At that point Iris was sure that their conversation had become a distraction not to hide their nerves but so they could _stall their climax._ She'd definitely wanted the amazing feeling of being physically and emotionally connected to Barry to last as long as possible. So, in an almost counter-productive way, she'd reminisced out loud the time they'd almost had sex right in his parents' living room the day he'd been done with the SAT. Barry had detached his wet lips from her neck to laugh, remembering that he'd come too fast after they'd spent mere minutes dry humping on the couch.

Then he'd planted his feet firmly on the floor of Iris' bedroom and had slid his hands down to grab her butt cheeks...and had started bouncing her up and down his dick while recounting how he'd dragged her with him in the bathroom. Iris had involuntarily squeezed him tight right then, because she'd remembered that instead of taking his pants off to clean up Barry had pushed her against the closed door of his bathroom and had gone down on his knees, calling her 'queen' like it was her name and slowly sliding her panties down her short dress. He'd absentmindedly licked his lips while watching her squirm in anticipation.

To this day she remembered feeling so beautiful and sexy in that bathroom: he'd told her that she always looked great but her short dresses, skirts and shorts were particularly nice because they showcased her strong legs, so that even the people who didn't know her got the hint that she was an athlete and of course a model. Then he'd whispered that he'd missed eating her out before hooking her left leg over his shoulder —

"Which time?" Adult Barry whispered as he stepped into Iris' personal space. "Seems like you went down memory lane."

 _Oh God_ , his voice was so low right now, lower than she'd ever heard it before. Of course it's because he'd never sounded so aroused next to her as an adult. She was already wet from the memories, but Barry invading her senses was making her gush some more.

"Lanes, plural," she specified breathily.

She bit her lips when he groaned in surprise and definitely because the info turned him on, what with the way he tightly shut his eyes and started breathing loudly through his nose.

"The time when we didn't use a condom," she had to tell him as she took half a step to feel his body heat even more, brushing the script down his covered arm. "Remember? We started in doggy style but wanted to hug and it was so good we couldn't stop talking? While we were going at it we talked about the time after you took the SAT—"

 **"Fuck,"** he cursed in **Russian,** and sped walked away from her to open the door. He kept it open for so long that Iris prepared to tell him to close it. _Alaska was so cold!_

 **"Lead actor Barry Allen!"** They both heard Linda call in **Korean** from her megaphone. Barry sighed then closed the door.

Damn it. Of course he had to film now!

"Just so you know, I won't feel guilty when I jack off to those two memories in the shower right after this," he informed her with a chuckle as he walked back towards the set. "Let that be your first thought when you wake up in the morning."

Huh?

What? Surely he didn't mean that...?

She wasn't going to let him rob her of a fantastic orgasm—he'd be exhausted after all, so she wasn't expecting to come multiple times. So when he was within reach, she firmly stopped him with a hand on his forearm. 

"Barry," she whispered, still loudly enough for him to hear her perfectly, "I don't care if you and Becky are exclusive anymore. If you don't come to my room after you take that shower, if you don't come see me wearing my very sexy, _bright red,_ harness-style bra—"

"What if you're asleep?" He quickly asked, still hesitant, swallowing loudly before adding "you're not a morning person—wait, your door will be locked, duh. It's fine, of course, I—"

"I won't lock my door," she let him know as she removed her hand from his arm, hearing Linda ask someone to look for Barry. "And I won't be wearing any panties, just that bra. I'm sure that you can figure out a way to make up for the rude awaken—hmm!"

Her confusion to the fact that he was kissing her only lasted half a second, after which she closed her eyes and kissed him back. She didn't use her tongue since she didn't want to excite him too much right before he had to go in front of the cameras.

"Oh! Um, sorry!" Someone said behind them, and Iris appreciated how Barry leaned away from her unhurriedly, his warm lips slowly peeling away from hers as he straightened back up, the slight pressure of the hands holding her waist coming off last.

When she fluttered her eyes open he was already turning away from her and taking his rolled up script from her hands.

"One minute, please," he told the crew member before turning back to Iris, his pupils contracting back to normal right in front of her while he took deep breaths, then spoke to her at normal volume, "I don't think that we need to rehearse the whole thing. Since Lev and Mariam have never been lovers before, we should be spontaneous too."

"You're right, yeah," she forced her voice to be steady and loud enough for the crew member to catch it.

Other cast members might have called their bluff, but not someone who had no formal acting skills.

In fact, the woman had a 'duh' look now, and she even stared at the script: without lying, Iris and Barry had effectively deceived her into thinking that the kiss that they'd just exchanged was a rehearsal of a movie scene.

"See you tomorrow," he told her before walking away.

"Good luck!" She returned with a friendly wave.

* * *

6.

The morning after. (Background: Chapters 3, 4, 6)

( **A/N: If you skipped sections 1-4:** **A/** Iris' not quite over Tony. She's not in love with him, but after 3 years she got attached! **B/** Iris is the anonymous co-owner of Barry's company ALlEN Space. Ship and nobody knows yet because Iris' waiting for the company to be well-established to share the info; **C/** Patty low-key sexually harassed/assaulted Barry during the filming of Burette 2) **D/** Linda's dating Wally, who is Iris' 2-year-younger nephew)

She took a shower, played some Jazz while she put on a smokey eye look and took her braids out for sexy voluminous curls...and then when she looked for her red harness bra in her suitcase she saw another red piece of lingerie: the lace balconette bra that she'd surprised Tony with when he got back from winning the Super Bowl.

It took her minutes to realize that she was bawling her eyes out, because what the heck? She didn't even love Tony like that! But, three years, yet he—he just...

She tried to put herself together, really she did, but by the time Barry slipped into her bedroom (it was still pitch black outside. Alaska, for real), she was still a weeping mess.

"Iris?" He called out softly as he remained at the door, his hand not leaving the handle. "Listen, I'm sorry, but I don't think—Iris? What's wrong?"

What was wrong was that _Tony had a new girlfriend,_ who kept posting pictures of them kissing and videos of them happily playing, butt-smacking each other, hugging _and kissing._

It was the same woman she'd caught leaving Tony's apartment the day they broke up, and of course her name was Karen!

First a Becky, now a _Karen?_ Was the universe, was God mocking her? Punishing her for dating outside of her 'race'? There was only one human race, but apparently nowadays the type and amount of melanocytes in people's body was a legit criteria of division for the cosmos...

She startled when she heard the lock of her door click.

"What did he do?" Barry asked quietly but angrily, remaining at the door. "It's Tony, isn't it? I should've known. You were so out of character earlier."

That actually made her laugh a little. He wasn't wrong, she'd never been so shameless _in front of him._ But if he'd seen her in college, sexing her desire for him away by approaching unassuming upperclassmen—only those who lived at the dorms in case she needed to call public safety.

All that because Barry himself hadn't gone to CCU. Because of his mother, who'd ended their relationship. Their beautiful teenage relationship, which granted had been problematic not the least because it had been secret...

Dating Tony had been unproblematic, so simple, so predictable...or so Iris had thought.

"Sorry f-for coming at you like that earlier," she apologized with a sniff before wiping her tears away and tightening the belt of her bath robe. "I shouldn't have tried to use you to forget him, especially since...you know?"

"I know," he breathed out, looking down his feet, sounding sad and disappointed. "It's okay, Iris."

"No it's...it's not," she denied, sniffing some more before getting her voice under control to confess: "I'm kinda freaking out about the love scene, too. Well, it's more of a make out scene, thank goodness. But what if I can't stop touching you and kissing you even after Linda says cut? I don't want you to get assaulted on a movie set again, especially not by me!"

"We both know that I wouldn't mind one bit," he argued quietly, a corner of his lips curling up. "But we'll be fine for that scene, Iris. Come on, we filmed 'Gold Standard' just fine and we weren't as experienced back then."

She smiled in acknowledgment, and let an awkward silence settle between them. She was so tired, had barely slept...

"I know that I've been a terrible friend," Barry broke the silence a few minutes later, his voice just above a whisper. "I should've offered you my ear and shoulder when you broke up with Tony."

"It's okay," she interrupted him.

"Is it?" He challenged at normal volume though he kept his gaze away away from her face. "You're hurting, Iris, and I'm hurting myself and Becky by keeping us celibate in this sham of a relationship..."

"Pardon?" Iris reacted, hoping that she'd misheard the word 'celibate'.

"I thought that she'd try to date for real as soon as she got a job, but no," Barry kept going, finally looking at her. "I'm sexually frustrated and I'm assuming that she is too..."

Wow. His face, his eyes, his voice...

"For that alone, you deserve the MAA 'Best Actor'," she admitted with a proud smile and a nod of approval. "I totally bought it."

"I'm serious, Iris," he insisted.

Iris looked at him, truly looked at him, and saw that he wasn't lying. Yes he was a good actor, but...this was too good. And he was no liar.

"So you limit yourself to...second base?" She questioned, very confused, because while in that overcrowded elevator she'd seen fairly well hidden but very real _love bites, plural,_ on Becky's neck.

Maybe Barry loved kissing necks in general, not just hers?

"What? No," Barry answered, and after hesitating he let out a long sigh. "Becky and I have basically been roommates for the past three years."

Huh?

"You're sure that you didn't kiss her?" Iris had to ask for good measure because she didn't want to think poorly of Cooper. "A light make out session? We've been traveling all over the place, you haven't seen her for a while—"

"Becky and I barely kiss on the cheek at family dinners," Barry let her know, his hand going to the back of his neck as he looked away from her again.

There was more to the story? Why was he still so nervous?

Iris had believed that becoming the Spaceship's co-owners had brought her and Barry closer than ever as friends, but clearly she'd been wrong. 

"What is it? Please tell me Barry, I hate feeling so clueless," Iris pleaded. "All these years we've avoided talking about our respective relationships and look at us now! Like you said earlier, we're both hurting. But while you know why I'm hurting, I'm just discovering that not only your relationship with Becky is still fake, but you don't even...three years, Bartholomew?" 

He flinched, why did he flinch? She'd kept her voice down.

She gave him time to put his thoughts together, and braced herself when he dropped his hand from his neck and shoved both hands into the pockets of his jogger pants.

"Minutes ago," he started, his gaze on her but she could tell that he wanted to run away. "When you apologized for trying to use me to forget Tony, and I replied I know?"

"Yeah?" She reacted, prompting him to continue with a nod.

"You tried to use me but you didn't," he summarized, his eyes getting brighter—but before tears could gather in them he wore his professional mask. "Whereas I did use you, Iris, and I'm so sorry about it."

What? Used her? How? _When?_

Oh God, was it the company? It couldn't be, right? She knew that she hadn't been diligent double-checking the final paperwork. Shawna was the one who'd read everything because Iris had been on the set of a movie. There was no way that Shawna had missed any small prints. What would Barry do with small prints anyways? Misplace funds? Why would he do that? Her trust was secure and her decoy shares were just fine, Shawna had confirmed that!

"Will I ever learn to leave you alone?" Barry asked rhetorically as he passed a hand in his still damp hair. "I know what not to do, yet I still end up doing it! Or not undoing it. I'm so obsessed..."

_Oh, no._

No, no, no! He'd told her that he'd blocked those crazy haters!

"I blocked them on my personal account," he specified, anticipating her words a second before she opened her mouth. "But I logged on the spaceship's account the other day to repost customer's pictures..."

"How exactly did you use me?" She redirected the conversation, making a note for herself to contact Felicity.

That West-Alone page had been going for too long. Should Iris herself report them to the developers? They were telling lies about her too!

"I kissed you," Barry said, making her blink.

"When?" She felt the need to ask, because God knew what sweet memory of their time together had turned sour in his head because of those lunatics.

"Last night? You don't remember?" He asked, looking confused and making her sigh, because she was way too tired for that nonsense.

"Let set the record straight here," she declared firmly. "I approached you, shamelessly propositioned you, riled you up by mentioning memories of us having sex, and when Linda almost ruined my plans of seducing you into my bed I got a kiss for my efforts. Yes, I was acting on the impulses of a broken heart and an overflowing libido, but all of what happened between us last night is on me." 

He went poker-faced as he held her gaze. That was her only warning.

"Before last night, the last person I kissed was Patty Spivot while we were filming Burette 2," he let her know in a detached tone.

For a few seconds, Iris felt dizzy from the shock of that piece of information.

 _Jesus._ How had she not—

Ah, of course she couldn't have known that. She'd thought that he and Becky were happily dating!

"I know that I'm the one who downplayed the whole thing," Barry kept going mechanically. "When I talked to Patty, she promised to do anything for me if I agreed not to report her. When I told her that I had no intention of blackmailing her, she almost lectured me for being so nice, told that my kindness didn't belong in Hollywood and that it was the reason why she'd thought that I liked her too."

"That shameless rapist," Iris commented under her breath.

"Maybe I should've just waited to kiss you during Lev and Mariam's love scene," Barry got back on track, "to metaphorically wash off that kiss scene between Jay and Andy. The thing is...the final cut doesn't show it of course, but Patty deepened a kiss that was supposed to be short, and it was so off that it made me break out of character—"

"So it was unscripted and _nonconsensual_ ," Iris concluded, keeping her anger in check to point out that "the kiss we had last night was consensual, Barry. You didn't use me, at all. I wanted to kiss you too, I wanted to do much more than kiss you. Remember?"

He paused before nodding.

"Did...did it actually help?" She couldn't help but ask, hoping that the answer would be...

"It did," Barry confirmed with another nod and a barely-there smile through his professional mask. "And then I came here to tell you that I can't go any further than that because I shouldn't fake-cheat on Becky. I feel like an asshole. You've helped me with Patty but I can't help you with Tony. I'm so sorry, Iris."

Did what he'd just said truly make sense in his head? Anyways...

"Barry, Becky's the one fake-cheating on you," she informed him.

"Excuse me?" He reacted strongly, his mask falling.

"I didn't stutter," she replied as she moved and grabbed her phone to check her appearance with the selfie camera.

Ugh, of course her makeup was ruined.

"No, she's not!" Barry denied, quietly but vehemently.

"Yes, she is," she insisted while she pulled out a makeup wipe. "I mean, good for her, because no offense but three years of self-imposed celibacy is nonsensical!"

When she looked back at him after cleaning her face, he looked angry.

At her.

_Barry Allen was angry at her._

He'd been upset and frustrated because of her before, sure, but not furious _._ Yeah, now he looked so furious that his body looked ready to break from the tension that was keeping it rigid.

"How can you think," he started, his tone dangerously neutral, "that your judgement of Becky's character could be any more valid than mine?"

"She's been lying to—" Iris tried to explain, but he cut her off.

"I've been her friend in _seven years_ and you've only talked to her for what, half an hour yesterday? Really, Iris?"

"Maybe she was just flirting with a local and it went too far?" She tried to be diplomatic when her own anger at Becky Cooper was rising in her throat.

Three years...that was the woman Barry had chosen to...do nothing? Friends _with no benefits._ Basically roommates, as Barry himself had put it.

Iris knew why he'd changed his arrangement with his fake girlfriend. Was she wrong for being happy about it, and for wanting to have sex with Barry all the more? She would take very good care of him, or rather she'd let him do whatever he wanted—she'd fantasized about having her wrists bound behind her back while getting entered from behind, would he like that? Or even some back-facing suspension...

"Not everyone is like Tony!" Barry's very unexpected whispered response hit Iris low, and _it hurt_ even though he quickly followed it by "Jesus, Iris, I'm so sorry. That was insensitive and downright petty. Please forgive me."

"If you forgive me for knowing that Becky is a cheater, which makes _you a fool,_ " Iris replied without missing a beat, her anger switching targets.

How could he pick his fake girlfriend's side when he knew that she would never lie about something like that? There was no other explanation other than the fact that he was an idiot! How could he even believe those West-Alone haters? He clearly wasn't obsessed with her since he could so easily resist having sex with her! She'd seduced one-night-stands with _a smile!_ And if he truly was obsessed with her he wouldn't have chosen his racist parents over her, nor would he be choosing Becky Cooper over her right now! Obsessed, her ass!

"What did you say?" He asked, as if he believed that she liked repeating herself.

"Right now? I'm saying 'get out of my room'," she ordered as she dropped the wet wipe in the small trash bin by her bed.

"Iris, no, please," he pleaded, not hiding his distress this time. "Let's not fight, please, not now—"

She frowned, and it took a few second for her to realize why he'd gone quiet mid-sentence.

His phone was vibrating in one of his pockets.

"I have to go," he announced when he looked at the call he was receiving. "Sorry, Iris."

He didn't move though, his body immobile while he searched her eyes.

"Are we good?" He asked quietly, worryingly. "I don't want us to fight—it's not about the movie, we're professionals, but...I don't want us to fight, Iris. Please."

"We're good," she lied, her attention shifted from Becky Cooper to whoever was calling him, _whoever had been calling him_ and making him find a private corner before answering. 

It was Kara, wasn't it? She'd broken up with her boyfriend a few weeks back. She'd gone under the radar, but Barry had informed Iris and Linda that she was staying at her sister's, healing.

Healing because Monel had been physically abusive. Iris felt blessed that she'd just had a cheater. Poor Kara...she deserved so much better. She deserved a good king rather than a good-for-nothing prince.

She deserved _Barry_. And it seemed that Barry was choosing her over Iris too. He'd already chosen 'Karry' over West-Allen. Well, he was free to work in pair with anyone he wanted. It's not like he couldn't work with other female entertainers. Iris couldn't be possessive over him.

"We're good, you're sure?" Barry insisted.

"Yes, of course," Iris told him with a few nods. "Go on, pick up that call!"

"I'll see you at lunch," he rushed to say as he unlocked the door and left the room less discreetly than he'd come in.

Iris immediately found the sleeping pills her mom had warned her to use only as a last resort. She'd used it once the first week after her breakup with Tony.

After popping a pill, she let the cast manager know via text that she was skipping breakfast.

She needed to rest. She couldn't let Linda down. This movie was the first step into realizing their dream.

* * *

7\. At the movie premiere of 'On The Mend' (Chapter 6).

_" **West-Allen has a nice ring 'on' it?"**_

**_"Sorry. I'm so sorry, Iris."_ **

**_"Hey, it's okay! No harm done. I don't mind, really. It's good publicity."_**

**_"...right."_ **

**_"Really, I was just surprised."_ **

**_"You're sure?"_ **

**_"Yeah! By the way we should—oops."_**

**_"You didn't put your phone on silent? That's so...huh."_ **

**_"Ha! Pot calling the kettle black much? Oh, it's Kara, that's why! She says...Barry? Who's calling you?"_ **

**_"No one, a wrong number."_ **

**_"That looks like the same number that—"_**

_"Hey, you two!"_

_"Anissa, Jennifer! Thanks for coming!/Anissa, Jennifer! Thank you for coming!"_

_"Oh my God, it's true."_

_"Jenn..."_

_"What is?/What is?"_

_"Nothing, don't mind her. You look great, both of you."_

_"She means 'together'."_

_"...Jenn!"_

_"And you two look fantastic, as always!/You two look fantastic!"_

_"Hmm-hm."_

_"...thank...you! We're, umm, we're dressed by a local designer, actually."_

_"Kei Mardon, of course!/Clyde or Kei Mardon? Oh, you're sure it's Kei?"_

_"Clyde just returned from Milan with Mark, he wouldn't have had the time to make these flaw-less dresses! Well, they're flawless on you two because you're flawless regardless of what you wear."_

_"Iris West called me flawless, oh my God!"_

_"Girl! Thank you! And yes, Kei is the one who made them. Wow, good eye! I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, you've worked with the Mardons multiple times as a model, after all."_

_"And it's complete bull that you're still blacklisted, Iris! You should come over to Freeland—the city, I mean, but you should also guest star on the show, you'd fit..."_

_"What Jenn means to say is that you're an inspiration to us all, Iris, and that we're looking forward to seeing you model again. But we're here for the movie!"_

_"Thank you so much! Enjoy the movie and—"_

_"Please tell us what you think of it!"_

_"..."_

_"...you know, now I get why West-Allen is hyphenated."_

_"Jennifer Pierce! Forgive her, haha, she's a big fan so she's a bit start struck."_

_"It's alright!/It's alright!"_

_"See you two later! Jenn, come on!"_

_"Do they even need to rehearse with that telepathic link they've got going on? 'Gold Standard', alright..."_

**_"Did she just say that we have a telepathic link?"_ **

**_"I wish."_**

_**"...for real?"** _

**_"Then I'd know what's going on with you and Becky and with you and your parents."_ **

**_"..."_ **

**_"They're the ones who've been calling you, right? When we were filming too. I thought it was Kara back then but I eventually noticed the phone numbers area code. Central City's."_ **

**_"Hey, we should move before photographers slow us down."_ **

**_"Barry, we're friends, colleagues and business partners. Why can't you just tell me—shoot."_ **

_[Barry! Iris! This way!]_

_[West-Allen!]_

_[Iris! You look stunning!]_

_[One more, please! Iris! Barry! West-Allen!]_

_**"Told you we needed to move."** _

_**"Stop avoiding the subject!"** _

_**"I can't tell you because you'll think that I feel entitled."** _

_**"Stop being cryptic, Bartholomew!"** _

_**"That's not my name, you know that!"** _

_**"...okay? Sure. Stop being cryptic, Barry Allen!"**_

_**"..."** _

_**"Still waiting."** _

_**"**_ _ **I kicked my parents out of my life last year. I'm still picking up their phone calls because I'm an idiot** _ _**."** _

_**"What?"** _

_**"And last month Paul found out that Becky has a real boyfriend of two years. He negotiated with Gossip to silence the story they were going to run about it. Yes, I gave Paul a raise."** _

_**"What the..."** _

_**"In exchange for the silence, Gossip wants to be the first notified about my next romantic interest so they'd be the first to introduce her to the public. Do you know what my first thought was when Paul told me? That they already told the public everything about you last year when you broke up with Tony. I truly am—"** _

_**"If I hear the words obsessed, creep or stalker come out of your mouth, I'll kiss you right in front of everyone."** _

_**"...is that supposed to...? Is that some reverse psychology trick?"** _

_**"How long?"** _

_**"How long, what?"** _

_**"Until you officially break up with Becky?"** _

**_"I'm not sure? I know that it shouldn't influence the success of the movie, but I don't want to bet on that. That's why I haven't confronted her about it yet. But now that the movie is out I'll tell her that I know. We'll part amiably, like we agreed upon. We shouldn't wait too long in case another magazine gets pictures—"_ **

_**"After we gross a hundred million, maybe?"** _

_**"That could be...should be in two weeks if the producers' predictions based on the comparison to Burette 2 are accurate."**_

**_"Honestly I think that they underestimate our fans. So, you'll talk to Becky...when?"_ **

_**"Tomorrow. She's supposed to stay at her parents tonight but my guess is that she's at her...real boyfriend's, I guess. And before I forget: I owe you an apology for not believing you about Becky in Anchorage. I'm so sorry, Iris."** _

**_"You can atone by asking me out the minute after you officially break up with her."_ **

_**"...are you serious?"** _

_**"Yes, I'm serious. God, Barry, we could've been together for months now! Close your mouth...and smile, David is looking this way. Let's sit here."**_

_"Excuse us/ Coming through, excuse us!"_

_[The co-leads!]_

_[West-Allen!]_

_[How can they be even more attractive in real life...]_

_[Did you hear? They were speaking Russian.]_

_[You didn't know that they actually speak Russian? Barry has a shoulder tattoo spelling 'Iris' in Russian.]_

_[In the Cyrillic alphabet, you mean. It's not exclusive to Russian, other languages in the...]_

_[Shhhh!!]_

_**"Iris, are you telling me that all these years, all I had to do—"** _

_**"Of course it couldn't have been that simple...umm, no, stay away, I'm mad at you. Linda should sit between us, yeah. Where is she?"** _

_**"For real?"** _

_**"That's my line! How could you wait so long to tell me? Who else knows that you've...disowned your family, I guess is the term?"**_

_**"Just you. I didn't even tell Becky, not that she would care."** _

_**"You and your secrets!"** _

_**"...does that mean that you've** **changed your mind about—"** _

**_"No, I'm just venting. I can be mad at you and want to kiss you stupid at the same time."_**

**_"..."_ **

**_"Come on, I'm sure that you have a lot to complain about me too—don't lie."_ **

**_"That's not what was on my mind, I promise."_ **

**_"We have two weeks to figure out how to turn our cat-and-mouse game into a committed co-independent relationship. I've been reading books on self-actualization and healthy relationships because I clearly suck at dating."_ **

**_"I haven't read any book like that...and now I feel dumb because that's what I should've read instead of all those BDSM books in high school. They were detailed about consent, but that wasn't enough."_**

**_"Unfortunately..."_ **

**_"Hmm?"_ **

**_"Nothing."_ **

**_"Co-independent, huh? Would it be like, you and Linda, but romantic?"_ **

**_"Pretty much!"_ **

_"Why are you two so far away? Hey Cait! I'll sit there instead!"_

_[Shhhh!]_

_"My bad! Excuse me, coming through! Barry, help me with the popcorn."_

_"What are you doing, Cisco?"_

_"What? This seat's empty."_

_"It's for Linda/ No, it's Linda's."_

_"Well, she's over there with...who's that?"_

_"Mina Chaytan/Mina Chaytan."_

_"No idea who that is, but if Park's talking to her, she's a good one. Hold this for me, Iris? Thaaank you! Hey, so I was thinking: since our dream is to desegregate Hollywood, shouldn't we start a production studio? S.T.A.R. Studios is cool and all but it doesn't cater to us highly pigmented folks, you know?"_

_"That's a great idea, actually."_

_"Evidently, since I'm a genius. I already have a name too: Dark Matter."_

_"What?"_

_"Not dismissing you and Cait's lovely porcelain skins, muchacho, but I feel like it should be a statement of inclusiveness, and since 'The Multiverse' is already taken..."_

_".../..."_

_"Yeah, no, you're right, not very inspired. I'll think of something better. Let's brainstorm after the movie! I can't wait for people to realize that I'm not here just to bring in the mula!"_

_[Shhhh!]_

* * *

8\. Evening of the MAA ceremony (Chapter 7)

"...it's Nora, Barry, come on," Iris let him know after she leaned over the coffee table to check his phone screen.

Of course Nora would ruin this great time. He'd just been thinking that this felt like back in elementary school, Iris laughing at him being too serious about names he'd heard another kid call her—Tony or his bully friends.

"Give her another chance?" Iris suggested, carefully sitting up on his lap and handing him his phone.

Barry stared at the unsaved number that of course Iris had learned by heart.

He better not pick up this call or he might start a shouting contest. He was still a bit riled up by the fact that Iris had been denied an award, so he was really not in the mood to talk to that woman. He suspected that she and her husband had been watching the ceremony live.

Nora had gotten on his last nerve last time, the evening of the nominations being announced. Maybe he should block her contact for good now? Not just her and her husband, but her family too.

He'd stopped wanting to be around them for a long time. They were the people who'd made him wonder if evil was genetically encoded and if he'd inherited it. The West-Alone page would've never gotten to his head if he hadn't been worried about being a bad person just like his ancestors, ever since he was twelve years old.

He'd let go of most of his Thompson guilt the moment he'd slammed the door of his home to Nora. If he did inherit any money from his grandparents in a few decades, it would go to Black activist groups in Star City. He didn't believe that there was more he could do as far as reparations went, since tracking the descendants of those his family had wronged would be very difficult and probably inappropriate. Who said that they wanted his money? They would've come forward long ago if they wanted anything to do with the traumatic past of their family.

And anyways, Barry didn't owe them anything. He wasn't his ancestors. He didn't use bondage to dehumanize Black people. He used bondage to pleasure a Black queen. The One True Queen.

Iris Ann West.

His _girlfriend,_ who was sitting on his lap. At the after-party of the MAA ceremony, which he'd left with the 'Best Actor' and 'Best Supporting Actor' trophies.

The nerves of that jury. They thought that he'd be so honored and grateful, didn't they? _Fuck them._

Linda had busted her ass off to make 'On The Mend' a better movie than it had originally set out to be, and she didn't even get nominated for 'Best Director'! And Iris? She'd carried equal weight as Barry in this movie, she'd done all the extra promo with him, had helped keep the fans engaged and interested...and for her efforts she got wrongfully categorized as 'Best Supporting Actress'.

A trophy was a trophy, though, Iris had been okay with any MAA, but instead of winning her consolation prize, she lost it to Caitlin. _Caitlin Snow!_ No offense, but next to Lyla, Esperanza and Kamilla Hwang, Caitlin didn't even deserve a nomination. The MAA jury used her to snub Iris.

Barry would've boycotted the event if Anissa Pierce hadn't challenged all diverse casts related to the nominees to show up, making the valid point that the MAA would remain 'so white' if people of color didn't make their presence known or their voices heard. And she'd challenged the winners among the white nominees to prove that they were real allies, hence Caitlin plagiarizing Iris to preach about diversity. Really, what would it have cost her to review her speech with Iris herself, or Linda, or better yet David Singh, the most experienced of their cast?

No matter. 'On The Mend' got its awards, meaning that Linda's masterpiece would have the best of the best helping her bring it to life. Barry couldn't wait...

Actually, yes, he could. Between promo tours and show productions for him and more Indi movies for Iris, they hadn't spent much quality time together in the past four months.

What were they doing here, again?

"Let's go home," he suggested right as 'missed call' read on his screen.

He then blocked Nora's number.

"Barry, no!" Iris reacted as he blocked Henry's number too. "What if something happens and they—umm?"

It was unfair to quiet her with a kiss, but he had to or she'd convince him to unblock them. Sometimes he really disliked her forgiving nature. She should've been the one asking him to get rid of his family _four years ago!_

She'd explained to him that she could've never done that, that even if deep down she'd wanted him to choose her over his parents, she couldn't love a man who would've so easily dismissed the people to whom he owed his very existence.

Admittedly, Barry couldn't see himself be in love with a woman who could easily ask that of him either.

"Umm, no, no, Bear," Iris whined when he leaned away, rubbing her fingers on his beard before pulling him back in. "Come back here, give me a proper one..."

She was still ridiculously strict about kissing and he loved it. The only reason why they weren't all lovey-dovey in public was that they were waiting until they finished filming 'Graun Bilaik Skai' to announce their relationship. So far they'd only told Linda, Paul and Janet.

"How the world doesn't yet know that you two are together is a mystery to me," Linda's voice came to their right. "The door was open!"

"Really?" Barry asked as he jerked back from Iris' lips.

She groaned in complaint but after sighing in resignation she wordlessly got off his lap.

"How did it go?" She asked her best friend, one of the many other talents who'd been snubbed by the MAA jury tonight.

Like Clark Kent, still known under the nickname of 'Superman', coined during his news anchor days. As his cousin, Kara had jokingly picked her stage name Supergirl based off of his nickname.

Clark should've gotten 'Best Actor' for 'The Last Son', but the powers to be decided to give the awards to Barry in order to make a _racist_ point.

"Gan, Kory and Victor convinced the producers of ‘Titans’ to let them use the set in San Francisco for an indi project in between seasons," Linda reported with a huge smile. "The set is getting tweaked around as we speak, so we can film the Arkadia storyline there right before filming the Drop ship storyline next door in Coast City. According to my poll last night, most of the cast can be in California in the next two weeks, using the San Diego Comic-Con on the weekend between the two as a general cover. I've already texted Mina, she's working on a schedule."

After seconds of speechlessness, Barry and Iris stood up to cheer and to hug Linda, positively shocked by the news. 

"Wow, guys," Linda whispered. "Am I dreaming?"

"Then I'm dreaming too," Barry and Iris replied at the same time, making Linda do a double take then roll her eyes in fond exasperation.

They weren't doing it on purpose!

"Wally's picking me up in ten minutes, want a ride?" Linda offered.

"Yeah, thanks!" Iris replied cheerfully before she grabbed her purse and started wearing her shoes.

"Umm," Barry reacted as he took his shoes when she passed them to him. "Does Wally know?"

"He suspects," both Iris and Linda answered, and Iris kept going. "I'm gonna tell my parents as soon as we come back from Coast City. It's been long enough!"

No it hadn't, but okay. It was time for Barry to face D.A. and Detective West. He was getting nervous already, but that was normal.

 **"Hey, can you two be in Coast City as soon as this weekend?"** Linda asked in **Korean** as they went in search of Cisco to say goodbye.

They couldn't let anyone hear about the movie.

 **"Me yes,"** Barry replied.

 **"I can't, sorry, got last minute photo shoots in Metropolis,"** Iris informed her. **"One with Peter for the 'Ebonist' campaign. But I'll be there on Monday."**

" **Wait, aren't you auditioning for a few roles next Monday and Tuesday?"** Linda asked. **"That's why I thought that you were free on the weekend."**

 **"Change of plans,"** Iris announced. **"Janet found out dirt on the directors of both movies. This is why I stick to indis...I'm glad that Janet got me those photo shoots because the one-way flight tickets we got are non-refundable. By the way, let me ask her to book my flight for Coast City!"**

While she did that, Barry checked his social media to make sure that there was no group of well-informed fans who were patiently waiting for them outside to take a group selfie. Him and Iris could stay behind and catch an Uber ride home...nope, no one.

Wait, what...?

"What is it?" Iris asked when Barry slowed down his steps, shocked by his Instagram feed.

He had been tagged by almost a thousand different people on the same post in the past hour. 

**"Is this about the kid?"** Linda asked knowingly as Barry checked the link that kept popping up on his feed. **"You know that you don't have to do anything about it, right?"**

It indeed was about a child: Christopher Alvarez, eight years old, suffering from a congenital heart disease that required immediate attention. His parents had brought him all the way from Mexico to get him to Coast City Hospital, where the surgery needed to cure 'Chris' was routine enough that his chances of survival were basically guaranteed. But he couldn't get the surgery because he didn't have a valid health insurance.

Barry's fans had taken interest in the story because...oh, actually, one of them was doing her residency at Coast City Hospital. Joanie, right...he remembered her because she was also from Central City and Iris had told him that Joanie's mother worked with hers. What a coincidence.

Maybe less of a coincidence was the fact that Danny, the Spaceship's social media consultant, was the first who'd tagged Barry and dozens of other crewmates on the post. Unless Barry was mistaken, Dany was Mexican-American. He was new, so he didn't quite understand that the company couldn't randomly get involved with this case.

On top of making recurrent donations to hospitals and research centers, ALlEN Space. Ship also organized a fundraiser every quarter to donate to randomly selected community service projects. They didn’t donate to ‘charity’, not even for a cause as straightforward and transparent as this one. But Joanie's wording didn't suggest that Chris could wait much longer for his surgery...

 **"Let me see,"** Iris requested, and Barry lowered his phone so she could scan the caption on the post.

 **"Don't you dare donate your own money to those strangers,"** Linda discouraged him, frowning when his shoulders sagged. **"Oh my God, you were going to do it too! What the heck, Allen! Do you think that there aren't people in need of urgent medical assistance in our own city? You helping a little Mexican is gonna scream 'white savior complex'!"**

 **"There has to be a Go Fund Me started already,"** Iris guessed, placing a gentle hand on Barry's upper arm to pacify him before he could object that the nationality of the child didn't matter.

He was _a kid!_

But he did look 'tanned', and from his picture alone Barry would've identified him as Asian. His dad looked Filipino? Who knew, and who cared about the dad's ethnicity? But Barry understood Linda's point. 

**"Ask Joanie about the Go Fund Me so you can promote it and donate some money...because it's yours to do whatever you want, like _saving a child's life,"_** Iris advised Barry before glaring at Linda, who gestured apologetically.

 **"** **And ask Joanie if she wants to organize an unrelated fans meetup next week,"** Iris additionally instructed Barry. **"** **Linda and I can travel incognito, but not you. Comic Con isn’t enough."**

 **"Hey, I can travel incognito!"** Barry argued.

 **"Nuh-uh,"** both Iris and Linda denied.

 **"Paul won't let you go alone,"** Linda guessed quite accurately. **"And paparazzi know that he is your loyal puppy. Ever since your facial hair won you Entertainment's 'Sexiest Man Of The Year' the press really has it for you. Can't believe that you ranked above Oliver Queen? That's low key blasphemy!"**

 **"Hey! Barry Allen _is_ sexier than Oliver Queen, and over a million people agree with me,"** Iris defended him, naturally biased. It stroked Barry's ego all the same.

On the other hand, the inappropriate comments online about the beard he'd grown for his role as Roan were beyond embarrassing. He used to think that he was experienced enough as a model to ignore the objectifying and sexualizing comments, but the internet had proved him wrong. Hopefully his acting as Roan would turn the center of attention back to his acting skills.

After picking up Barry's MAA trophies at the club's reception desk, they found Cisco and Caitlin to say goodbye. The latter made Barry blinked when she apologized to Iris for not quoting her earlier, and even thanked Barry for putting up with her.

Okay? Great, actually.

Leaving that club was a blessing to Barry's ears. He was mentally prepared for the noise when he was on set or at a public event, but dealing with loud noises when he was metaphorically off-the clock was exasperating. He could sympathize with Hartley, who had a cochlear implant.

Wally pulled up in his flashy yellow and red rental pickup truck.

Barry couldn't tell if Linda and Iris were right about him 'suspecting' anything. All he could tell was that Wally seemed to like him even less than usual since the ceremony, probably because Barry had won multiple awards when his talented aunt and talented girlfriend got nothing. The paparazzi and their annoying flashes were probably not helping his mood either. 

Barry had made a bad first impression to Iris' nephew when he'd asked him to stop street racing as soon as he hired him, going as far as threatening to report him to his very own grand-uncle Joe West if he did not comply; Linda had actually thanked Barry for that because she wouldn't have kept dating Wally if he'd kept endangering his life by participating in an illegal activity.

Another reason why Barry wasn't Wally's favorite person this year might be that, like a few other crew members at the Spaceship, Wally didn't think that Barry deserved the spotlight he got from his interview by 'Entrepreneurs'. Even some of Barry's fans had expressed their disappointment in the way he kept 'overshadowing his Canadian CEO'. August Heart was actually Nlaka'pamux*, and he was indeed the CEO of the company—his official title was 'Staff Captain'—but he wasn't the company’s owner. August himself had no problem with Barry being interviewed by 'Entrepreneurs' considering that the magazine exclusively interviewed _business owners,_ whether or not they also doubled at CEOs, which was the case for Cisco and a lot of other local business owners. So people got mixed up.

It was a good thing that Iris hadn't told her family about anonymously co-owning the Spaceship because Barry suspected that Wally might dislike him for that too, possibly without caring for the reason why Iris had approved the decision in the first place: the competition would be rough if they knew that the company was owned by a Black woman. Once the Spaceship was (ironically) firmly grounded, Iris would let her family know about her co-ownership, but she would remain anonymous unless she wanted to change the structure of the company.

Anyways, Barry was still trying his best to befriend Wally. It was easy to ignore hostile glares and passive aggressive comments from strangers or from people Barry didn't care to please, but he truly wanted to be accepted by Iris' family. More than that, he wanted _to be part of Iris' family_. So he kept trying to break the ice.

His attempt to start a conversation with Iris' dad four years ago hadn't gone all that well, but at least Detective West had been courteous. It was more than Barry had hoped for after he'd seen the cop scowl and huff in exasperation at a magazine cover showing Barry and Iris in their wedding attires from 'Gold Standard'. Back then Barry had wanted to tell Mr. West that he didn't have to worry about him since his daughter had rejected him.

It was a good thing that he'd kept his mouth shut.

"Hi Wally, thanks for the ride!" He greeted with slightly forced cheer after opening the doors to Linda and Iris, then he went around the back to get on his side.

He saw that his greeting didn't make just Wally do a double take: Linda and Iris were staring at him too, though Iris quickly recovered and turned her head away to hide her smile.

"Hey...Barry," Wally replied, meeting his eyes through the rear view mirror after Linda frowned at him as if asking where his manners were. "No problem. I suppose that congratulations are in order, sorry for rushing out after the ceremony."

They all suspected that he'd gone to watch a big streetcars race...and maybe bet on it too. Linda didn't care since he wasn't racing himself, and Barry didn't care as long as he didn't get caught by MCP. It was great that he’d been able to come along, supporting both his girlfriend and aunt.

"Thanks, and congratulations are in order for Linda too," Barry specified as all three passengers buckled up. "Two MAAs for her first blockbuster!"

"You're the one who got 'Best Actor' for the movie?" Wally asked more than he stated, sounding confused.

"For a role that Linda re-wrote from a typical self-important nerd to a relatable nerd with an actually interesting and most importantly _original_ past," Barry insisted, improvising a way to turn around the MAA Jury's affront to Linda. "Let's be honest here: the movie wouldn't have been worthy of _any nomination_ without her."

"Yeah, Linda made this movie great!" Iris agreed enthusiastically.

"Well, then, congratulations!" Wally followed up, leaning over to press a kiss on Linda's cheek. "So proud of you!"

Linda blushed. What a rare sight.

"So, where do I drop you off?" Wally asked Barry, his demeanor much more friendly. "I haven't seen you at the hotel, where have you been staying?"

"I just sent you the address," Iris was the one who replied after typing on her phone.

"Got it, mini-aunty Iris!" Wally responded playfully, then winced.

Force of habit, huh?

"If you weren't my chauffeur this would've been your proverbial last words, Wallace Rudolph," Iris deadpanned.

Wallace _what,_ now?

"Aunty Iris!" Wally whined.

"Don't worry, babe, Barry can't laugh at you," Linda reassured her boyfriend. "His full legal name is 'Bartholomew Henry' Allen!"

Huh?

"Nope, it's Barry!" Barry denied, frowning when Iris rolled her eyes.

Surely now she was okay with it, right? Should they talk about it?

"Didn't you guys see on the MAA's website? It's 'Barry', like the singer," he felt the need to add, shrugging when Linda and Iris kept on teasing him.

Whatever.

The ride was smooth and the conversation convivial. The four of them ended up making plans for brunch the next day, just before they went their separate ways at the airport—Wally back to Central City, Iris to Metropolis, Linda to Coast City and Barry to National City.

He'd meet Kara there, go to her music studio to record their featuring...and maybe more. Then the two of them would head to Coast City, or maybe directly San Francisco to film part of 'Graun Bilaik Skai' on the set of 'Titans' before filming in Coast City too. Barry had to contact Joanie for the meet up too...

He texted Paul about it and the Go Fund Me for Chris' health insurance just as they arrived at destination. 

"You rented a condo in a gated community? Smart," Wally commented with a nod of approval. "No pesky paparazzi to deal with. God, I hate them—Iris? Where are you going?"

"To soak my feet first thing, those heels aren't as comfortable as I thought," Iris answered casually.

Wally glared at Barry— _now_ he definitely knew rather than 'suspected'—but immediately mellowed down when Linda nudged him. 

"Yeah, sure, goodnight!" Wally wished as he looked away from Barry and turned his head to speak to Iris. "Do you want me to pick you up earlier, before brunch? You didn't check out of your hotel room, did you?"

"Actually I already did, but thanks," Iris let him know before sliding out of the pickup. "Drive safely, and goodnight you two!"

"See you tomorrow," Barry said before getting out in turn.

As soon as they got in their rented home, Iris started her bath while Barry ordered them something light for dinner. Then he checked his texts messages and social media. Ever efficient, Paul already had info on the Go Fund Me for Chris' health insurance.

Damn, there was a lot of money to raise still. There was no way that all funds would be raised before the following week.

"Hey, hey, it's going to be okay," Iris reassured him after she emerged from the bathroom in his bathrobe and her hair gathered in a high bun. "Chris' a trooper, he made it through a long trip! And the fans are sharing the post. Everything is going to be alright, Bear."

"Of course, yeah," he acknowledged as he put his phone away, hesitating for a moment as Iris searched his eyes.

"Wanna join me in the bathtub?" She inquired as she tilted her head. "A quick soak, yeah? It's been a long day, we could—umm..."

He couldn't help kissing her when they were in the privacy of their homes, permanent or temporary. It's not that he was trying to catch up on eight years of pent up affection, but—yes, yes he was trying to catch up.

The soak was indeed quick because they started getting too touchy-feely under the water. 

They worked in tandem to dry off and Iris allowed Barry to practice French braiding her hair. He was getting better at it! That was so much more helpful than just gathering it in a high bun.

She rewarded him with a kiss that he deepened before lifting her up in his arms, taking his time to carefully walk to the bed after she wrapped her limbs around him.

He sat them both on the king bed, and his heart skipped a beat when Iris stretched downwards and sideways towards her open suitcase—which Janet had brought to the apartment while the paparazzi were focused on the ceremony.

She pulled a rope out of it.

"Just...just my wrists, yeah?" She requested almost shyly, managing to sound seductive all the same.

"Yeah," Barry agreed, eagerly taking the rope from her hand and standing back up just to turn around and sit her at the edge of the bed.

But when he leaned over to kiss her some more she stopped him with a firm hand on his chest, and his confused eyes met her stern ones. 

"Barry, just one round," she warned, "Please. And no morning sex at all."

"What? Why?" He questioned as he kneeled between her legs.

He had an inkling of the reason for the ridiculous restriction, and hoped that he could persuade her to change her mind.

"I was almost late going back to the hotel this morning!" Iris reminded him, pouting. "You said that you'd be quick but you—why are you smiling, Bear? Are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry sorry," he breathed out before kissing the apple of her cheek, not feeling one bit apologetic.

He'd never been 'quick' about eating her out, so really it had been her own fault for falling for his trap this morning. And actually, it was the big breakfast _afterwards_ that almost got her late. Keyword: almost. She got back to the hotel just fine!

While he passed his free hand up and down her thigh he brought his lips to her ear and reminded her "you looked like you were enjoying yourself, that's why I made it last...plus, you didn't use the safe word."

That made her pause and stare at him guiltily. She opened and closed her mouth twice.

She was about to deflect, wasn't she? In three, two, one—

"Well, tomorrow we definitely have to be up early because we have to pack up, clean after ourselves, go to brunch and then go to the airport!" 

Ah. Good point.

"Alright, no morning sex," he regrettably promised, then folded the rope in two.

"We should set alarms," Iris suddenly decided, pulling back the arms she'd started extending towards him so he could start a double column cuff. 

He stood up and dropped the rope on the bed when she hopped off of it, enjoying the view as she speed-walked to the living room to grab their phones. There was an alarm clock on the bedside table, so Barry set up that one too and grabbed a condom before sitting on the bed against the headboard. 

And when Iris came back in the bedroom, walking with poise and elegance even stark naked and distracted on her phone, his heart melted.

She made him so happy. Not just personally, but professionally too. She made the crazy celebrity life worth the pain.

As teenagers set on Hollywood, they’d intellectually understood what international fame entailed and had told each other that they were ready for it. But as adults, they’d confessed to each other that they were very much over their heads with all the unwanted attention they'd started getting since that Spyn Zone interview at the premiere of Burette 2.

And that was without the world knowing that they were together. Barry was worried about their public announcement because he wasn't naive enough to think that being an interracial couple in the spotlight would be easy...especially because of his family's past.

The fact that his parents were racists might finally become widely known. So far it was still just an old rumor confined to their corner of Central City.

"Babe?" Iris' voice brought him out of his musings.

He returned her curious smile with a wide one.

She made him so happy, and the way she looked at him, touched him and kissed him suggested that he made her happy too. He didn't deserve her, but he'd put that diamond on her ring finger soon, or die trying.

That was a bit macabre, but he was getting paranoid now that they'd reached their fourth month of dating. Four months was all that they'd had back in high school.

"Tie you to the bed frame or no?" He inquired, his heart beating faster when instead of answering she placed their phones on the bedside table on her side and simply lay down on her back, extending her arms above head so that he could start tying her up.

Her blind trust in him was the reason why he breathed.

At this point he could tie a double column [cuff](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dc1xxRXWkAA8tdE.jpg&imgrefurl=https://twitter.com/autostraddle/status/994592911005188101&h=460&w=640&tbnid=NM7tr_mF16n2TM&tbnh=190&tbnw=265&usg=AI4_-kT1iMQZ8nfRrMD5tdmtcdsIyuF8Ew&vet=1&docid=hxd4m0gy8O5GUM) with a somerville bowline from any angle, but doing it from the side allowed him to get it done in seconds.

After slipping the bight for easy untying, he used a reef knot to connect the long end of the rope to the bed, wrapping around the rung of the spindle headboard before pulling on it until the tension of the rope elevated Iris' wrists.

"How is it?" He asked her as he started exploring her body with his hands and lips, softly at first even though he was eager to pleasure her. "You're not sore from training, are you?"

Both of them had fully recovered from the minor aches and pains earned from filming 'On The Mend', but they were back to training hard at the gym and in stunt studios in preparation for 'Graun Bilaik Skai'. This time they wouldn't always have stunt doubles around while filming, so they had to be extra careful with their bodies. That meant no harness on Iris. Even a mild discomfort could quickly become a problem on set.

"No, I'm fine, and...umm, yes! Don't even expect me to...ah, Bear! No talking, please," she requested before she started making breathy sounds that made him intensify his touch and kisses all over her skin.

She said 'no talking' but these past months he'd learned that while she didn't curse anymore, she was very much still a talker during sex. Sometimes she talked dirty, but it wasn't on purpose: she simply had no filters when she was high on pleasure. That hadn't changed from when they were discovering their sexuality together that summer in high school. It was clear that they had much to discover and rediscover together.

Could they really not sneak in a quickie in the morning? He could already tell that this one round tonight wouldn't be enough, especially since they probably wouldn't have sex again for at least two weeks.

Barry wasn't complaining: working with Linda (again) and with other talented and some highly-acclaimed actresses, actors and film makers was the greatest honor of his career so far. It felt like a much more significant achievement than getting MAAs. So he knew that neither he or Iris would have the time to think about sex since they would be on professional mode most of the time.

But he hoped that once they were done with this first round of filming they could spend several days together back in Central City, just the two of them. Their respective apartments were too often watched by reporters, so it was best that they take refuge in a rooftop penthouse. With access to fresh air, they wouldn't need to leave the building at all.

Because, yes, there was a hotel they could go to in complete discretion: _the Spaceship_. 

They hadn't remodeled the entire building because it would've been much too expensive. The mortgage on that building was crazy high regardless, but it was being being paid, slowly but surely. One promising new source of that payment was the rental of two floors, to be used as venues for formal events. Those floors were above the company's 'decks': the crew mates' offices, the conference and projects rooms, the recreation center, the lockers and showers, the clinic, the mail rooms and the showing rooms; but they were below the former honeymoon suites and the penthouse. 

Barry would ask Iris if she could clear her schedule for that little escapade...maybe after their mandatory dinner with her parents? He dreaded it already.

But for now—

"No...n-no teasing, babe, **please,"** Iris pleaded, switching to **Russian** when he slipped light fingers inside her drenched pussy, all the while continuing to pepper her chest with feather-light kisses.

He tried to keep his massage of her vaginal walls light at first, but she wasn't having it: she started thrusting and rolling her hips in tight circles to fuck herself on his fingers. Despite her adding **"c-come here, Bear, I wanna feel you w-when I...ah, ah!"** he couldn't help but use his free hand to slide a pillow under her butt before dipping his head between her wide-opened legs.

He started with soft kisses on her outer lips, waiting for her to use their safe word in case she truly objected to him eating her out. But all he heard were wordless moans as she made tiny upwards thrusts with her hips. She got chatty for real when he started lapping the sweet and tangy proof of her arousal.

**"Barry, Barry, oh-oh babe, yes, right th-there! God, oh God, that feels...s-so good! I can't...not your fingers...I need you now, Bear, pl-please, please!"**

He wanted to feel her come on his tongue, but he was positively aching to be inside her.

He sucked the fingers he slipped out of her pussy and _fuck,_ he had to lick her juices all the way to his wrist because she was that wet. He almost dropped the condom when Iris surprised him by wrapping her legs around his hips, urging him to hurry in action as well as in words: **"hurry, babe, come on!"**

They sighed in relief when he entered her slowly, and they set a steady rhythm because they didn't want this one round to finish too soon. Barry slipped his arms under Iris and hugged her close as they rocked back and forth, their shallow breaths and a few Russian endearments from Iris the only noises accompanying the slippery sounds between their heated bodies.

Whereas in high school they preferred having music in the background back, nowadays they appreciated the quiet. They didn't get to enjoy silence much these days.

 **"Iris! Fuck, you feel amazing,"** Barry moaned in **Spanish** against her temple when she started spasming around him. **"Feel so good my love,"** he added in **French.**

He slipped one arm out from under her to reach for the bight of the rope in order to gently unbind her wrists. He slipped his other arm out to support his weight on one forearm because he might crush her now that he was so close to the edge.

Feeling her arms drape around his back while her legs tightened around his hips was the signal that they could go a little **"harder, B-Barry! Yes, yes, faster! touch my—oooh, ummm!"** and that never ceased to feel like one of the best things in the world. He welcomed the tightening of his groin as well as the tighter grip of her pussy when he rubbed her clit.

"I love you, Iris," he whispered at the same time as she started chanting "love you, love you, love you..." into his neck.

They completely lost their coordination when they switched from thrusting their hips in opposite directions to grinding their pelvis together. It was all about chasing their pleasure now, panting hard and moaning and groping each other and kissing whatever patch of skin was right across their lips.

Barry couldn't tell who orgasmed first. His climax left him dizzy for a few seconds. He even saw black stars in his peripheral vision. That rarely happened when he masturbated.

While he got rid of the condom Iris bent over her open suitcase and fished out...fancy cleaning wipes. Barry was pleasantly surprised not only at the natural lemon scent but also at the texture of the wipe.

"This is biodegradable?" He asked before checking the packet for himself. Yup, all except the plastic 'easy opening' was biodegradable. 

"It's great, isn't it?" Iris asked rhetorically as they cleaned up. "Shawna introduced them to me and I was thinking that we could become brand ambassadors. The company is very small, they need the promo. I'll ask Janet."

Shawna? Ah, Miss Baez, Iris' lawyer. She'd been the epitome of professionalism when they'd gone over the Spaceship’s paperwork in Iris' absence. He'd appreciated it.

They snuggled on top of the bedsheets. Barry only meant to soothe Iris with his touch and kisses, so he didn't know how his hand ended up between her legs again only five minutes later.

"Babe, we need to sleep," she quickly reminded him, shimmying away from him.

He was about to sulk when he realized that she was moving back on top of the pillow, lying flat on her back...then she bent her legs up and opened them wide.

That was a clear invitation. 

"I'll be quick," he lied blatantly yet again before sliding down the bed and propping himself up on his elbows, then lowering his head between her thighs.

"You're such a dork Bartholomew Henry Allen," Iris declared with fake solemnity before slipping one hand in his hair to guide him where she wanted his mouth.

Her words made him pause for half a second, but he decided that now wasn't the time to be nitpicky. 

When he slipped his tongue inside Iris, he easily ignored the naggy feeling that something was off. 

He'd had it since the creation of the Spaceship.

(A/N: *Nlaka'pamux = First Nation group = a Native American group from modern-day Canada. I borrowed the ethnic background of August Heart/Godspeed's actor, Kindall Charters.)

* * *

9\. After Iris hangs up from calling Nora about Barry's medical condition (Chapters 8 and 9)

The entire day had been surreal.

Getting to Coast City incognito had been fun and quite easy thanks to Janet remaining in Metropolis. Iris' agent was fully enjoying her extended stay at their hotel suite, making the paparazzi believe that Iris was the one for whom she was ordering all the luxurious room services.

No one expected Iris to pop up on the other side of the country, not even her parents, whom she'd spoken to earlier in the morning. She'd spent six hours on a plane, but thanks to the different time zones she had only lost half of that.

She'd used her rental car to drive to San Francisco and had been ready to film within an hour of her arrival in late morning. Except for a few scenes in a different storyline, she only needed light makeup and practical uniform-like clothes to turn into Raven, unlike Barry who needed a wig, a bunch of fearsome tattoos and badass leather outfits to look like Roan.

Jesus forgive Iris the blasphemy, but Roan was _hot as hell._ Of course Iris had seen Barry's bulkier physique from up close, but a couple of days of Californian sun and a bronzing lotion had done wonders to his muscle definition. And Barry's beard still took her by surprise. 

It was fortunate that she would have her hands literally chained during the scene with the most sexual tension between Raven and Roan. Maybe Linda had wrote the scene that way knowing that Iris couldn't possibly keep her hands to herself in front of that Grounder sex symbol. 

Linda herself had finally admitted out loud that Barry deserved his title of sexiest man in Hollywood, though it took her until the tenth take of the close quarters fight scene. In that scene Roan had to flash his torso to show his chest tattos, the indelible proof that he was Ice Nation royalty and not some spy. Iris had made a note to herself to learn how to draw those tattoos and to buy fluorescent paint so she and Barry could get some foreplay going in the bedroom. She'd loved their little improvisation at the MAA after party.

Since Roan had minimum screen time for the Arkadia storyline, Barry had left the set early, returning to Coast City for his first meetup with fans.

Kara, who played Lexa, had left with him since her situation was similar. She'd used the filming of a music video as a cover for her presence in California. The fans she had in common with Barry, the 'Karry' shippers, had even begged her—more like pressured her—to join Barry at the meetup just for a few group selfies.

Iris was only slightly disappointed that there were more Karry shippers than West-Allen shippers among Barry's individual fans. Even after the meaning of his shoulder tattoo had become public knowledge last year, a majority of them didn't like Iris any better. Last year she'd guessed that the Karry ship would replace West-Allen after ‘On The Mend’ last promos, and her prediction was becoming reality. Once Kara's full album was out, the Karry ship would take over the internet.

Not that it wasn’t a good thing for Barry. His career wasn’t limited to his partnership with Iris. But the other way around was kinda true: she was well-known and respected in Central City, but her international fame existed within the context of the West-Allen pairing.

It was when the shooting in San Francisco wrapped up that the shooting in Coast City happened.

Not shooting with cameras, but with _a gun._ Paul had reassured Iris that Barry's wound was superficial, but she drove to Coast City all the same. With how busy Coast City Hospital was, she managed to sneak in without the press recognizing her, not that there were many reporters around. Maybe most of them were pestering the police P.R. liaison about the shooter. 

Iris hadn't been surprised that it was the same hospital where Chris Alvarez was to be treated that night. Barry's second donation to the Go Fund Me had helped reach the full amount for Chris' health insurance. The little boy had needed to get that surgery asap.

But imagine her shock when Joanie had discretely pulled her to the side and had broken down in uncontrolled tears, claiming that Barry's looming death was the talk of all the hospital personnel.

The hospital running out of universal blood types because of the mass shooting hadn't been shocking to Iris. What had been shocking was that Chris was AB-negative, same as her and Barry.

Barry, who wouldn't have lost so much of his rare blood if someone hadn't neglected to check him for internal bleeding like the other shooting patients!

More than shocking had been the _outrageous_ fact that Barry's newly assigned surgeon had at first declared that Iris couldn't "just waltz in" and offer to donate her matching blood type to her friend, colleague, business partner and secret boyfriend! He'd stubbornly repeated that Iris couldn't make any decision on Barry's behalf because she wasn't family, nor was she on his emergency list.

He'd changed the list last year to remove his parents and leave only Becky. Iris had warned Barry that he needed to stay in touch with his parents in case things went wrong! 

Her perseverance in trying to save Barry had been rewarded eventually, but not without her being mentally hit by yet another shock.

*

_"Barry would want me to give him my blood!"_

_"We have no way of knowing that. I'm very sorry, ma'am. "_

_"You can't be serious! This is about saving his life!"_

_"Like I've told you Miss, you're not on Mr. West-Allen emergency list so—"_

_"Pardon?!"_

_"You're neither family nor on the emergency list, so you cannot make such decisions. Only Miss Cooper can, but she’s not answering—"_

_"No, I mean, the way you addressed Barry, his full name, I think I heard wrong?"_

_"Oh, my apologies, I just clocked in and there are so many patients...Barry West-Allen? Yes, that's what I said. Mr. West-Allen."_

_"..."_

_"What is it? Are you feeling unwell...?"_

_"I am unwell, how could I be well when...doctor, I...this is a secret, but—you need to listen to me."_

_"Miss, I don't mean to be rude or inconsiderate. I am very aware of the gravity of the situation. But we're likely to get sued for disrespecting procedures earlier, so I need to make sure that we do everything by the book now. I have other patients to tend to, and just because you're some celebrity—"_

_"I'm not just 'some celebrity!' My name's Iris West...here, look!"_

_"...oh. West, like West-Allen?"_

_"Barry and I are—we're secretly married...and like I feared, he forgot to fully update his personal info on his medical records. I could prove the legitimacy of our marriage, but that would take too long! You need to take my blood and operate on him now! I have the right to decide that as his wife!"_

_"You're making this up, aren't you? You sounded surprised—"_

_"You can try to sue me if things go wrong, I don’t care. But, Doctor? If the love of my life dies on your watch, you best believe that you will lose your license to practice. Like I said, I'm not just some celebrity. My mother's a lawyer."_

_"...nurse? Excuse me, nurse? Please get someone to prep her for a blood donation."_

_"Yes, doctor."_

_"Thank you, thank you!"_

_"By the time your blood is bagged, your husband will be ready for his surgery, Miss—Mrs...?"_

_"It's West-Allen too, but please keep it secret."_

_"Of course."_

*

So.

Barry had changed his legal name. He wasn't Bartholomew Henry Allen anymore, but Barry West-Allen. He was _also known as_ Barry Allen, but West-Allen was the legit last name.

Iris had almost woken up Paul to get answers to her many questions, but then she'd remembered something Barry had said last week, when Linda had told Wally that Barry also had an old-fashioned name:

_"Don't worry, babe, Barry can't laugh at your full name. His is 'Bartholomew Henry' Allen!"_

_"Nope, it's Barry! Didn't you guys see on the MAA's website? It's 'Barry', like the singer."_

Indeed, the academy listed the full name of the nominees, the middle names were initialed if they were too long. But Barry's name had appeared as 'Barry Allen'.

Iris finally understood why Nora had called when the nominations had been announced. Instead of sounding proud, she had yelled at Barry because _she'd been upset_ that he’d removed her grandfather's and husband's name from his official name! If Iris hadn't excused herself to let Barry speak freely on the phone, she would've learned about his name change then. Wow.

She wanted to be mad at Barry for not telling her about his name change, but really he hadn't kept it secret. He’d tried to correct her multiple times over the past few years, repeatedly claiming ‘that’s not my name’.

She'd thought that he was being picky about being addressed by his career name! But yes, she _should've known._

She would've known if she had read the final draft of the Spaceship paperwork, but she hadn't because Shawna had guaranteed that everything was in order. Iris trusted Shawna and of course she trusted Barry, so she hadn't felt the need to read the paperwork for the thousandth time.

She and Barry had spent over a year drafting that paperwork, so she’d known everything that was on it...but she hadn't been in town to see Barry sign the legally-binding anonymous trust agreement. She'd trusted Shawna's words that everything was right.

She was now staring at the digital copy of the agreement on her phone, via her Spaceship email account.

Everywhere Barry had to print his name, it appeared as _'Barry West-Allen OR Barry Allen'._

Iris remembered telling Barry that there was absolutely no problem with the final draft of the paperwork when he'd asked about it a little fretfully two years ago. She’d known that he’d been nervous about making her lose money so she’d never questioned his behavior beyond that. It wasn't his fault that she'd been oblivious this whole time. 

But now that she knew, his belief that the West-Alone haters were right about him being her obsessed creepy stalker _made sense_. He'd renamed himself as if he were her husband while she was dating Tony!? She didn’t care now, but back then she would’ve been furious.

Thankfully they hadn't been that famous yet or the press—

Wait a minute...

Barry wasn't creepy or obsessive, of course not. Therefore, his name change had to have a valid justification...

Oh.

OH!

It made sense that he'd changed his name when he'd expected her to accept his proposal _four years ago,_ right? There had been that odd moment at his first condo:

_"We're not rich and famous yet."_

_"Excuse you? Doing pretty well for yourself here, Allen."_

_"West-Allen."_

_"..."_

_"We're not famous as a pair, not outside of Central City."_

Evidently he'd deflected because he'd been too ashamed to let her know that day, especially after she'd called him 'entitled'.

Four years later and she still felt guilty for how hurtful she'd been to him that day. It was no excuse, but back then Iris had been hurting too. Over Linda’s deep disappointment and quiet anger, and over the impossibility of marrying Barry. Of course she'd wanted to be with him, she always had, but his mom had been an insurmountable obstacle to her happy ending with Barry.

So she'd kept her romantic feelings for him under lock, in that stupid imaginary box, because it had been her only way to stay sane while accepting the fact that she could never get what she wanted the most.

What a fool.

She shouldn't have left the place Barry had bought for them the way he'd promised he would when they were seventeen. She should've stayed instead of running away, she should’ve lived up to the message of her UV light tattoo...which she had indeed let fade away.

_**"You know, I've always wanted to ask: did you let your arm** **tattoo fade? Because when it comes to us you've never really applied that 'don't run, stay and fight' message."** _

He'd been a coward, but so had she. They both should've fought harder, _together,_ because their love was worth it.

The past four months had proven it—oh God, their romance had almost ended after four months yet again!

But she hadn't let it end, she would never let it end. She'd fought against death itself to keep the love of her life, because by 'until death do us apart' Iris meant 'until _natural death_ do us apart'. Preferably on the same day while they were asleep and holding each other's wrinkly old hands!

She definitely didn’t mean death by gun shot or medical negligence! Accidents and diseases were not allowed to prevail either!

Iris was aware that death wasn't the only threat to her relationship with Barry. Money, fame and careers with conflicting schedules had torn countless seemingly unbreakable couples apart. And there was cheating...

Iris would fight them all. She was determined to disobey Lisa’s advice and _fight for what she wanted,_ because she didn't feel any more like the One True Queen than in the arms of the King of the Nerds.

She was in love with Barry Al—Barry _West-Allen_ , and the only thing stopping her from screaming it to the world was that she had to privately let her parents and Charz know first. 

They deserved to know why, despite the mentally draining life of an internationally famous actress, she was as happy as they'd noticed her to be.

She knew that her parents suspected that she and Barry were in love, so it wouldn’t be too much of a shock. And she knew that her dad might be opposed to their relationship at first, but once he saw them together being themselves, he’d approve of Barry.

He made her so happy. It wasn't just because of the cozy hugs and deep kisses, the dorky jokes, the quiet moments, the social justice debates, the 'No English' conversations, or the fantastic sex.

Beyond the domestic bliss, there was the dream. 

Thanks to 'On The Mend', they finally had the money and the people to make Linda's masterpiece. 

Today's first day of filming at the modified set of 'Titans’ had been a humbling and empowering experience for Iris. The whole thing was still surreal.

Even being in front of the cameras with Barry had been different in San Francisco. Linda had been very demanding for the short scenes in which Raven and Roan interacted. She kept asking for 'authentic IrisBarry language'...whatever that meant. 

The West-Allen fans weren't prepared to see Iris and Barry co-star in another movie so soon, and they were in for a treat. To think that a lot of them had been worried that 'Gold Standard' had been the end!

So had Iris for a few minutes, until right before she'd left Barry’s first condo:

_"Allow me to take back what I said about us reaching our apogee, Barry. I now know that we're just getting started."_

So what if the Karry ship inevitably took over the internet when the Supergirl's song featuring Barry came out? West-Allen would always make a come back! Shipping real people together was so weird, really. Iris and Barry were used to their ship, but Barry and Kara—

Oh, Kara didn't even know about Barry getting shot, did she? She didn't watch the news and avoided social media ever since her breakup with Monel. Iris should call her right after calling Linda.

Thank goodness for Linda's weird filming schedule, or Barry would've been forced to quit the production of 'Graun Bilaik Skai'. His surgeon had assured Iris that he only needed three weeks of 'real rest' and daily physical rehab starting as soon as he got discharged in order to make a full recovery from the surgery. He’d have a permanent scar for the shot but not from the surgery.

What should Iris do? There was no way that she could remain incognito while staying in California. By now there had to be paparazzi waiting for Barry to come out of the hospital. They wouldn't miss her pushing his wheelchair...

"Mr. and Mrs. Alvarez?" Someone called out, and Iris looked up at the same time as Chris' parents did.

She gave them an encouraging smile and a nod before they stood up and stepped towards the woman in surgical uniform, whose wide smile boded very well.

Now Iris could go back to Barry's room: Chris was out of the woods, too.

* * *

10.

**"Go on, explain yourself,"** Cisco demanded from Barry in **Spanish** not even five seconds after the nurse left the spacious hospital room.

He'd arrived in Coast City so quickly because he'd been in Vegas on a business trip. 

He'd kept a straight face when the nurse had inquired if 'Mr. West-Allen' was done filling in the form to update his emergency contact list.

"English," Linda requested with a sigh from the couch by the window. "And can y’all be quick with the drama? Iris and I need to be back in San Francisco. Thank God for Mina..."

"Wait what?" Cisco asked since he wasn't aware that they were filming.

"Get going with the secrets," Linda reiterated, squinting her eyes at Iris. "West-Allen..."

"If I had known about it earlier like I should have you would've known too!" Iris promised.

"Am I too stoned to understand what you two are talking about?" Barry asked with a frown.

No, according to his nurse he shouldn’t be high anymore, which was too bad because that would’ve spared him Cisco’s interrogation. He looked so tired, though, which was understandable. A busy hospital was the last place one could get quality sleep. Iris herself was dead on her feet.

They needed to go to his rented apartment. Paul already had a PT on standby, as well as a chef working on some famous sports nutritionist's ‘injury recovery meal plan’. What a gimmick.

After rubbing her forehead and sighing in resignation, Iris pulled out her phone and dialed her mom's number.

"What are you doing?" Cisco asked.

"You're not the only one to whom we owe an explanation," she replied curtly as she tapped the speaker feature.

"Wow," Linda whispered. "Should've told me to bring the popcorn!"

Before any of them could react to the bad joke, Iris' mom picked up the call.

"Honey, hey! I’m still at the office but I have some time before I gotta go for lunch," she informed her right away. "How is Barry?"

"I'm awake and still on painkillers, Madam District Attorney," Barry himself replied, enunciating his words carefully. "And I'm sorry for wasting your time, but I won't be filing a lawsuit against the hospital."

"Oh, Hello Barry," Iris' mom greeted with maybe forced cheer. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, mom, I'll explain everything later," Iris confirmed.

The hospital director had agreed with Iris and Barry that it was best to act as if nothing wrong had happened. Yes, Barry's first doctor had been terribly negligent, but Iris had coerced Barry's second one to operate on him and use her blood for transfusion without getting it tested...when she obviously wasn’t Barry’s wife—yet! But she was healthy and her blood had saved Barry's life, so all parties had called it even. Barry had just needed to add Iris, Linda and Cisco on his emergency contact list after removing Becky from it.

"I'm so relieved to hear that you're awake, Barry," Iris' mom declared. "You gave us a fright last night...early in the morning, rather."

"I'm sorry that Nora and Henry disturbed you for that, Mrs. West," Barry apologized.

"You can call me Francine," Iris heard her mother hesitate as she spoke. "Is it...normal for you to call your parents by their names?"

Iris saw Linda tilt her head with interest and Cisco frown deeply.

"They're not my parents anymore," Barry informed them. "Biologically, yes, that will never change, emotionally and legally, no. I'm not sure how they even knew about my stay here. My surgeon assured me that it wasn't him who contacted them, no one should have contacted them unless I'd passed away—"

"Your father—I mean Dr. Allen did imply that he and Nora lost the privilege to be informed of your medical condition," Iris' mom recounted. "I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such difficult time without your biological family, Barry. But I'm very glad that Iris is there with you. Friends are our chosen family, after all."

Barry smiled at that, exchanging a look with Linda and Cisco, who both smiled back despite their clear shock at what they'd just heard.

"Linda and Cisco are here too," Iris made sure to inform her mom. "Could you get dad on the line, please? Barry and I have an important announcement to make."

"It's a good thing that it's his day off, " the D.A. commented after a short silence. 

Ten seconds later, the voice of Iris' dad resonated:

"Hey Frans, did you forget something...wait, what's with the call setting?"

Iris saw Barry swallow. Aww, he was nervous! So was she.

"Joe, we're in a conference call with Iris, who’s with Linda, Cisco Ramon and Barry at a hospital," Iris' mom informed her husband. "Barry's awake and as well as his condition allows, and he confirmed that he disowned his parents."

"...alright?" Was Detective West's mild reaction, unexpected to his quiet audience. "Hello?"

"Hi dad," Iris's reply came before Cisco's "hello Mr. West" and Linda's "how's it going, Joe?".

Iris had to lift her eyebrows to prompt Barry, and he fumbled "hello Detective, I mean, sir—umm...Joe?"

"Joe is fine, young man," Iris' dad approved with a little chuckle. "You have my baby girl's blood running through your veins so we might as well be on a first name basis."

Oh.

OH.

Iris cleared her throat and Barry nodded...a silent promise that he would wait until a more appropriate time to be _turned on_ by the fact that, indeed, her blood was running in his veins. They had plenty of time to... _celebrate_ that. Right? How long did blood cells live? Two months? Three? Anyways.

"Mom, dad, sorry for not telling you earlier, but...Barry and I have been dating for four months now."

For several seconds the beeps of the machine monitoring Barry's vitals were the only sounds in the room. Iris’ senses even noted the drip of the liquid drug in Barry’s I.V. bag.

"You don't look surprised!" Cisco accused Linda in a whisper.

"Why _do_ you look surprised?" She returned at the same volume.

"I won't pretend to be surprised, Iris," was her dad's response. "Francine?"

"Neither," her mom agreed. "But, four months...right after you broke up with your high school sweetheart, Barry? Your girlfriend of...seven years, if I'm not mistaken."

"Iris' not a rebound!" Barry blurted out too loudly, startling everyone before amending "sorry" while eyeing his I.V. suspiciously.

"That's...good to know," Iris' mom acknowledged, her tone slightly apologetic.

"Your observation is pertinent," her detective husband defended her then interrogated Barry, "how is our daughter not your rebound if you asked her out so soon after you broke up with Becky Cooper, Barry Allen?"

"Becky and I were, um...we distanced ourselves from each other long before we ended our relationship," Barry confessed. "Becky released a statement, but you probably don't read gossip articles. I cannot explain more at the moment, but I was single in all but name for a while, I swear."

"What is there to explain?" Cisco challenged flippantly. "You stayed with that brat for seven years because your controlling racist witch of a mother made you do it! So as soon as you disowned your parents, you kicked out the woman they wanted you to marry too!"

"What? That's not true!" Barry denied, but the silence that settled afterwards suggested that no one but Iris believed him. 

"Controlling racist witch," Linda broke the silence with a little chuckle.

That was a bit harsh, but there was no lie to it. 

"Would you care to...elaborate on that, Cisco?" Iris' mom requested through the phone. "Why did you call Nora controlling?"

Of course the D.A. trusted Cisco over Barry as a judge of Nora's character.

"Right, right, apologies," Ramon Industries' CEO said as he massaged his temples, then took a deep breath. "First I need to inform you all that I met Barry's—I mean, the Allens. Twice."

"What?!" Iris, Linda and Barry exclaimed loudly.

"The first time was pretty nice, actually," Cisco admitted. "Then again, it was at the game store, and they were looking so lost searching around for your Christmas gift. I had to help them, their racism be dammed. I mean, I was exactly the right person to show them around! Barry had been reminiscing about the good old Skyrim days, so I—"

"You're the 'store clerk kid' who recommended them the graphics cards?" Barry exclaimed, looking more lively all of a sudden. "No wonder you were so ready to get on a modding marathon—"

"Nerds!" Linda called out. "Can we stay on track, please?"

"We appreciate you, Linda," Iris' dad declared with humor.

"Sorry," Cisco and Barry apologized before the first one went back to his story. "So, yeah, the first time around Mr. and Mrs. Allen were polite and grateful for my presence, but I did guess that they took me for an employee. But they barely reacted to my ethnicity so I thought that the rumors were exaggerated. I was young and naive! In college, sophomore year, I met them again, at the 2CP—pharmacy..."

Barry visibly paled, and Iris guessed that he was worried that Cisco had met his mom while she was off her meds.

"Long story short, when I reintroduced myself Mr. Allen was cordial because he'd heard Barry mention me and seemed grateful that I'd kept him on the scientific path. But when he stepped aside to talk to the pharmacist, Mrs. Allen offered to write me a check if I agreed to leave Barry alone."

"Excuse me?" Iris' parents reacted simultaneously.

Iris herself glanced at Barry then at his vitals. So far so good. It's not like Nora's action came out as shocking.

"Yup," Cisco confirmed. "She said that now that Barry had ‘proper friends’ in Star City it was for the best if he forgot us 'people'. She told me to be smarter than some girl and take the money." He said that part while looking straight into Iris' eyes. "Anyways, of course I said no way Jose!"

Iris and Barry exchanged a knowing gaze.

Cisco clearly suspected something...had suspected something _for a while._

"She was about to pay you to end your friendship?" Iris' mom stated, incredulous. "Unbelievable."

"It gets better," Cisco assured his audience with a dry laugh. "Well, worse, and it was my fault. I was at the pharmacy to get something for a pesky headache, so understand that I wasn't at a hundred percent when Mrs. Allen insisted I take her money. I got sassy and told her that Barry and I were going to be business partners, so she could actually give him the money and he'd invest it in my company. Same end result, but more civilized method."

"That's a great come back, though," Linda complimented when Iris' parents sighed, sensing the escalation coming.

Barry was getting a bit pale, but he shook his head dismissively at Iris before she could ask if he wanted to cut the conversation short.

"I can't remember the whole conversation, which is funny considering that it's the wildest one I've ever had with anyone," Cisco joked. "But basically Mrs. Allen promised me that I'd never see a penny from Barry since she was the one controlling his money. She repeated that now that he had 'proper friends' in Star City, he'd soon forget about me and that girl."

"What?" Everybody else except Barry exclaimed.

"Yeah, and I thought that she was lying through her teeth," Cisco admitted, "since Barry was making crazy cash back in college. And the girl that Mrs. Allen kept ranting about...that's you Iris, right? That's what I assumed back then."

"Has to be," Iris' parents agreed in sync. 

"I guessed that since you'd said no to Mrs. Allen’s check and still worked with Barry, then I'd be fine saying no as well."

"When did Nora Allen offer you money, Iris?" Her dad asked firmly. "You never told us...and why would she do that? She didn't seem that upset about you and Barry ending up as co-workers."

Iris exchanged a look with Barry, whose heartbeat spiked twice in a second—she actually saw the spikes on his monitor. It would've been funny in different circumstances.

Now was as good of a timing as any to share their big secret, right?

"It’s not because we worked together," Iris forced herself to explain, detecting a nod of approval from Linda in her peripheral vision. "Barry and I dated in high school...secretly."

"Say that again?" Her dad requested at the same time as her mom asked "Can you repeat that, Iris?" and her using her first name _like that_ was never a good sign.

 **"That's not possible,"** Cisco denied in **Spanish,** looking between Iris and Barry with wide eyes before Linda asked for "English!" once more.

"Over the summer before senior year," Iris specified calmly while her heart seemed to be beating faster than Barry’s. "We planned on telling everyone when I turned eighteen, and Barry planned on getting a place of his own before college so he wouldn't need to follow his parents' rules anymore. But Nora caught us two weeks before summer ended and made us break up. That’s when she offered me money, to stay away from Barry on a personal level. He got angry and tried to defy her...and that's when she threatened to take _your money,_ but only if you kept defending me, right?" she recalled while addressing Barry, who was now avoiding her gaze. "What happened after I left? She took your money anyways? In college? You were a legal adult!"

His shoulders tensed minutely even though she'd kept her tone composed, because he could see in her eyes that she was angry.

Not at him, _at herself._

All these years she'd thought that Barry and her had remained close, that the only things he was keeping from her concerned his relationship with Becky, just like she never told him anything about Tony. And now she felt awful, because...back when Barry had told her that he couldn't get enough loans to start his own company, she'd assumed that he was broke because Becky was making them live above their means. Deep down, Iris had loved proving that she was superior to his girlfriend born into wealth. And frankly she'd loved turning the tables around and being the one helping Barry make more money this time.

All that pettiness had prevented her from asking him the right questions. But would Barry have answered them?

Wouldn't he have hidden the fact that he was broke because the moment his mom had let him have his money back, he'd spent it all on the name change, the engagement ring, definitely his car and the condo? Would he have been candid enough to tell her that his first move as a financially independent adult had been to invest in the future he'd thought he'd share _with her,_ only for her to reject him?

Iris didn't believe that he would have. Not an hour ago, when he was still a bit high, he'd told her that he'd believed she avoided asking about his name change on purpose, knowing that it was an uncomfortable topic for both of them. Therefore it was possible that he wouldn't have told her anything about the name change when they’d created the Spaceship, and anyways a lot of water had already flowed under the bridge since his failed proposal.

So Iris took several deep breaths and calmed down. Barry's shoulders relaxed a bit when the anger left almost as fast as it came. Her mood change seemed to last minutes, but it had to be mere seconds because Cisco smoothly followed up with her last spoken words.

"That's exactly what I thought, so I didn't take the threat seriously. But when I tried to get the company set ahead of time and asked Barry for money in order to show financial fitness to get loans, I knew right away that something was wrong. It took him almost a week to send me the wire transfer. So I suspected that it wasn't his money—"

"Why didn't you," Barry started asking, but he shut up and dropped his face in his free hand, taking deep breaths because his heart rate had gone up and the monitor beeps were changing in pitch.

Iris stepped closer to him and he whispered "I'm fine, I promise. Sorry."

"Hello?" Iris' dad called when the silence stretched for too long.

"I know I should've brought it up," Cisco kept going. "And I would have...if it hadn't been around the time you dropped the bomb that your family used to _own slaves!_ "

Another moment of silence, but at least everyone was on the same page for that uncomfortable topic. Iris heard Linda sigh longly.

"I didn't mind you keeping that secret bro, I would've probably done the same in your shoes," Cisco promised. "And of course you're not your ancestors, but the thought that the money you sent me could be your grandparents' rather than your own? It made me feel—I can't explain the mixture of feelings that came over me that day, but it led me to...umm..."

Why was he hesitating?

"We have no authority in Star City, Cisco," Iris' mom said out of the blue...or not, because Cisco sighed in relief.

"What did you do?" Barry questioned him.

"I know that what I did was criminal anyways," Cisco disclaimed, "I thought that I could hack into the system of whatever bank you'd used for the wire transfer to...find your gramps' accounts and lighten them up by a million or two—to donate to non-profits!" He specified when sounds of disapproval erupted from all sides of the phone call. "But I didn't do anything in the end because it was Oliver Queen's bank account on the other side of that wire transfer."

Right, Barry had told Iris four years ago.

"Oliver Queen," Cisco repeated bitterly, "one of Barry's 'proper friends'. A title earned, I guess, since he helped Barry make his debut on TV. Oliver was helping Barry get started on his own dream to become a famous actor. A dream I had no right to dismiss just so he could help me realize mine..."

"Cisco," Barry called softly and a little sadly. "Why didn't you—"

"I never had any intention of letting you waste away in a lab anyways," the genius stated firmly with a casual shrug.

"I need to go, Iris' mom announced. "Anything else _we_ should know, sweetheart?"

That was a loaded question. Iris had called her parents partly because she’d known that they would react more mildly in her friends presence. Hopefully they wouldn’t ask for another conversation later on.

"That's most of it," she answered cautiously.

"I have one more question before Frans hangs up," Iris' dad spoke up. "What exactly did Nora Allen catch you two _doing_ that got her to react so strongly, hmm Barry?"

"Joe!" Francine gently admonished him while Barry's face was going a bit pale. "Let the boy breathe, he almost died! Save the questions for dinner when they both come home."

"Mom!" Iris reacted loudly when Barry's skin got even paler and his blood pressure dropped slightly. 

Linda and Cisco laughed soundlessly like some silly mimes.

"Gotta go, hun," the D.A. reiterated, and Iris could tell that she wanted to laugh too. "You four stay out of tabloids as much as you can. Come home safe and sound, alright?"

A series of yeses were returned, and parting words were exchanged before Iris hung up. Linda and Cisco laughed out loud this time.

"What did you mean by you had no intention to let me waste away in a lab?" Barry's sharp tone abruptly changed the atmosphere. 

He was slightly red now, from anger, and Cisco looked intimidated for a fleeting moment but he squared his shoulders before he started justifying himself:

"Everything I did—" but Barry didn't let him finish.

" _Don't you dare_ say that you did it for me!" He shouted.

"Barry, easy," Iris pleaded.

"Of course I did it for you!" Cisco asserted. "Just like I made sure that you got selected for that 'Imitating life' program...which I heard everyone whisper about whenever you and Iris were dazzling us with your superior acting in Anchorage. So it was a good idea!"

Huh? What?

Oh...oh, no.

Seemed that Barry had been right that Mr. Sherloque hadn't vouched for him, after all.

"We should...Barry needs to rest, so we need to start on that discharge paperwork," Iris tried to deflect but Linda stopped her from moving with a shake of her head. 'Let them hash it out,' her best friend seemed to say. 

"You did what," Barry asked Cisco in a flat tone, his timbre deeper than normal.

"I decided to do it way before Oliver got in the picture," Cisco explained defiantly. "Back in high school, after Chester got all uppity about you disrespecting Iris and whatnot during the play? Now I'm the liar for telling him that nothing ever happened between you two. And then I vainly tried to protect you from Mrs. Allen's wrath!" He dared condescend Iris.

"Pardon?" Both Iris and Barry reacted loudly.

"Did you not hear me say how much that racist woman kept ranting about Iris?" Cisco responded. "I've tried to keep it professional between you two not just because I didn't want you to ruin your chemistry with a cliché affair that would end badly, but also to keep Mrs. Allen from going all mental on Iris like she did for—what? What did I say?"

Oh, Iris had winced at the word 'mental' and she guessed that Barry had too. They shook their heads dismissively and whispered "nothing" in tandem.

"FYI, I'll never get used to that weird synchronicity you two got going on," Cisco confessed, and Linda made a sound of agreement. "Anyways, I thought that I could stop you two from crossing the line, but that ship sailed a long time ago, as they say. So...sorry for being a busybody."

Iris was about to scoff when she saw his face fall, and yeah he looked sincerely contrite.

"Really guys, I'm sorry," he reiterated. "It's just—Linda and I, we know exactly how empowering your combined talent is, you know? You're the king and the queen who inspire the rest of us to be badass leaders too. I just wanted to protect you from making the fundamental mistake of mixing business with pleasure, because if things didn't work out personally then your epic professional partnership would suffer too."

"Me and Iris aren't you and Cynthia, Cisco," Barry argued calmly, looking sadly at his best friend.

Ah, now Iris saw where Cisco was coming from.

Cynthia Reynolds was the prodigious daughter of Joshua Reynolds, founder of a large cyber security corporation ironically named 'Breacher'. Right after high school, Cynthia had created her own group of private cyber investigators named the 'Trailers'. Whereas her father was a businessman, Cynthia was more of an activist. She followed the _virtual trails_ of cyber attacks to help give justice to their victims all around the country. According to several reports, the Trailers were disproportionally more efficient than all the cyber crime branches of the FBI, and it might be due to the fact that they handed out their findings to the families before contacting local authorities. The transparency of the criminal cases gathered a lot of public attention and compelled law enforcers to be more meticulous than usual.

Cynthia had earned the unsolicited and derogatory nickname 'Gypsy' because her group's _mobile headquarters_ matched its name: it was made of a cluster of ultra modern trailers that never parked for more than the few days it took to solve a crime. The only time Cynthia was sedentary was when she visited her dad for the holidays.

Three years ago, Cisco and Cynthia had a torrid affair while the Trailers were in Central City to have Ramon Industries update their hardware. Barry had bitterly informed Iris that Cisco might actually make Cynthia a major partner of Ramon Industries because he was head over heels for her.

But while Cynthia and Cisco had dated for a while, she refused to become his professional partner when they broke up due to the long-distance status of their relationship. Meanwhile the press and people on social media had already written long exposés explaining how powerful the Ramon-Reynolds professional partnership would be. But that partnership didn't see the light of day.

Then the tabloids had made a lot of noise about the two geniuses' breakup. It was understandable that Cisco had been testy for a while because until then he'd never been in gossip magazines, only on the covers of science and business ones. Iris now realized what a terrible timing she'd had trying to become a shareholder of R.I. not long after. 

"Of course I know that there's no comparison," Cisco assured. "And shit, I owe Chester money!"

"What?!" Iris and Barry reacted, shocked.

"After you guys finished filming the trailer of ‘On The Mend’ Ches kept rambling about you two having too much chemistry not to have slept together more than a few times," Cisco explained. "Which was a preposterous claim to me at the time. I mean, of course Iris was faithful to Tony! But after the trailer she broke up with him and—"

"Wait, what about me?" Barry rushed to ask, "you think that I'm a cheater?"

Was that really all he had to say about this?

"Dude, I would’ve encouraged you to cheat on Becky with anyone except Iris," Cisco promised. "So I had to make sure that I wouldn’t lose my bet against Chester. When I warned him that he couldn't make up a secret affair between you two, he joked that if only I could join the cast too then I could tell whether or not it was true. That sounded like a good idea so I asked Linda for a low-commitment role in the movie. It happened that the adult version of Tomas was low-commitment _and_ the actor already cast for it was giving strong hints that he would move on to another project. Tomas is basically just an evil Soviet version of me, so no acting skills were require!"

He ended his long-winded explanation with a shrug that was way too casual.

Iris stared at Linda.

" _You’re the one_ who got him on the cast?" She asked her, barely controlling her volume.

"Why do you look surprised?" Linda responded lightly. "It wasn't a secret, I thought that you figured it out."

"That’s nepotism!" Barry pointed out.

"Yet _I_ had to audition?!" Iris complained. "Did you know about his bet with Chester, then?"

Chester, who pretended to be the least nosy person in all of existence! Okay, maybe he deserved to know about her and Barry too. It was a bit patronizing, but Iris was touched that he'd prioritized her dignity over his friendship with Barry for so long. Better that than the 'bros over hoes' mentality that a lot of Black men in the industry adopted.

The same day that Barry had told her the reason behind his fallout with Chester, Iris had called him. They’d gotten closer while attending CCU as theater majors. After thanking him for his solidarity she’d let him know that Barry and her were just weird like that. He hadn’t needed much convincing.

_"Should've figured it out on my own when you two fake-married in that commercial...yeah, I'm dumb...I confess that I've been kinda brainwashed by that very crazy page on Instagram—you know it? That one, uh-huh...right, lots of stuff don't even add up, they're delusional haters. I don't follow them anymore, at first they made sense with the inequality thing, but after they got a lot of followers they started saying all kind of crazy stuff about Barry’s obsession with you. They’re the ones undermining you to a creepy level by claiming that you have no agency...yeah but it’s not like I could run back to him...oh, his shout out boosted my YouTube channel? It was him? Wow! I need to thank him...come on, Iris, it's nothing. Nah, I should've asked you how it was instead of brooding in my corner! So, you two are 'weird', huh? Is that what kids call it nowadays? Hey, hey, I'm just saying!"_

Seeing Barry virtually join one of Chester's geeky video series on YouTube not a week later had made Iris smile. 

"Of course not I didn’t know about their bet," Linda answered, and mumbled absentmindedly, "I have my own bet with Charz to worry about."

"What?!" Iris and Barry exclaimed together before Iris questioned "a bet on what? Is it also about us?"

"I need to call Mina," Linda deflected as she stood up, meaning that she wouldn't say. 

"Our best friends bet money on our lives!" Barry lamented with fake sadness when Linda left the room.

"We bet on your _love life,_ " Cisco had the audacity to correct him, then his expression suddenly turned mournful. "I'd never bet on your life. Man, you almost..."

"Hey, hey, I'm okay," Barry reassured him, extending his hand in a silent invitation to come closer. 

Cisco grabbed it and hid his face behind their joined hands. 

Iris faked to look at her phone to give them a moment. She didn't hear Cisco cry, but she saw Barry pull him in for a side hug and the two of them whispered words that she tuned out. 

She didn't have to try very hard: her mind blanked out when she saw that she was receiving a call...

From 'Henry Allen'.

Barry and Cisco looked in her direction when they heard the phone vibrating in her hand.

"Ah," Cisco reacted, understanding sparking in his eyes when Iris showed her phone screen. 

"I need to book my flight back home anyways," he declared before quickly heading out.

Iris' heart beat a little faster when she picked up the call and put Barry's dad on speaker.

"Hello? Is it Iris?" Doctor Allen asked.

"Oh, so you know her name? I wondered," was Barry's snarky response before she could say anything.

"Slugger," Dr. Allen's voice went whisper quiet, then tearful. "It's so good to hear your voice, son—"

"I'm not your son," Barry denied, his voice eerily neutral, "unless you're willing to stop indulging your wife's bigotry?"

Silence. Iris guessed that was a no.

"What will you tell her about my blood type, huh?" Barry challenged his dad. "She's not stupid, now she must suspect that I'm not all that white because you aren’t either. What if she divorces you over it?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Barry," Dr. Allen sternly chided him. "And don't be so negative. Maybe this is what will help her realize that she's mistaken...what's so funny?"

Barry had started laughing out of the blue, but it was a dry laugh full of derision rather than a humorous one.

"She's not going to change and you know it," he told his father. "I used to admire your loyalty to her, you know? I think that you passed it on to me," he added as he spared a tender look at Iris. "Among other things."

She smiled back just as Dr. Allen spoke up:

"I'm...I'm glad that you think so, slugger...and I'm deeply sorry for getting in the way of your happiness all these years ago. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but please accept my apologies...both of you. Iris?"

"I'm here," she replied softly, getting out of her daze. 

She hadn't noticed last night but...Henry and Barry's voices were so similar! She'd only been aware of the traits that Barry had taken from Nora because that's the parent she'd met up close.

The fact that Iris might never talk to Barry's father in person was saddening. He clearly wasn't all that bad. He was simply blinded by his love for his wife. 

"Thank you...thank you for always being there for Barry," he said with emotion, and though he started sobbing he was doing a great job at keeping his words clear. "I'm forever...indebted. He'd be d-dead without you, and that—that would've been _my fault._ I gave him that rare blood type."

"And thus you gave me the possibility to help him in such dire circumstances," Iris presented a different perspective, and decided to tell Barry's dad everything she could in a short amount of time because it was clearly now or never. "You gave Barry and I quite a few of the many reasons why we feel special to each other. As Barry said you passed on so many things to him, so many that make him the man I love. So I accept your apology and I forgive you and Mrs. Allen. And...I thank you both for Barry. I'll take good care of him, I promise."

That sounded so wrong, as if Barry's parents were about to die. Was there truly no compromise possible?

No, not on Iris' side. Nora had said that Barry wasn't human anymore because he now had her blood?!

"Thank you," Mr. Allen replied with a little sniff. "And I do hope that he will take great care of you, too. I'm confident that I've showed him how."

"You have," Barry admitted, but kept his tone stern when he added, "Cisco just told me about the pharmacy, back in college. What the hell, d—how could you let that happen? _In public?"_

"A regrettable incident," his dad commented. "Her medication dose was—"

"Don't even try that," Barry cut him off.

Because Dr. Allen had been about to blame Nora's unacceptable behavior on her mental illness, right? That was so dishonest. But...what if it was true? They had been at the pharmacy for a reason.

"You called Iris and she forgave you both," Barry pointed out."So there's nothing else to say or do. I blocked you two because I don't want to ever see you or talk to you again."

"Babe," Iris whispered, feeling bad for her future...non-legal? Father-in-law.

"You can still count on me in case of an emergency, of course," Barry amended, making her grab his hand and gently squeeze his fingers in gratitude. "Unless you remove me from your list too."

"We won't," Henry promised.

"How did you learn about my condition worsening, by the way?" Barry questioned, sounding oh so casual, but his eyes said that he was on a mission to identify the rule-breaking hospital employee.

"We were notified by a family friend who's a nurse at Coast City hospital," Dr. Allen innocently answered.

"Who?" Barry followed up too quickly, and he realized it right away because he rolled his eyes and frowned at his I.V. again.

He certainly couldn't give his best performance while on painkillers. The dose was still a strong one.

"You don't know them, neither did I until last night," his father deflected because of course he knew his son. 

"You using a neutral pronoun means that it's a male nurse," Barry guessed without missing a beat.

"He only did what he thought was right, slugger," Dr. Allen defended, but also confirmed the piece of information. "I won't give you a name. It's wrong to get someone in trouble for doing what's right—"

"Since doing the right thing's not something you're familiar with, I'll ignore your opinion," Barry stated, making Iris gasp.

How could he be so cold at times? No wonder Linda wrote his character to be from a cold place yet again! Well, technically she'd written Roan years before she'd fleshed out Lev.

Iris had noticed Linda's tendency to insert the less likable and thankfully less prominent sides of Barry's personality in his characters. Iris was a bit weirded out by that, but Barry had told her that he found it cathartic to explore the darker parts of him in a way that didn't lead to real consequences.

"Anyways, emergencies only," Barry conceded with a sigh after detecting the disapproval in Iris' gaze. "So I hope that I won't see you two again for a long time. Goodbye...dad."

"Goodbye slugger, and goodbye Iris," Dr. Allen managed to say before Barry suddenly grabbed Iris phone and hung up.

She gently pried her phone away from his tight grip on it, then she stepped closer so he could hug her with his free arm.

While she rubbed her hand up and down his back, feeling the hospital gown under her fingers and eyeing the I.V. hooked to his other arm, Iris wished for the Coast City police to catch the shooter a.s.a.p.

And they had her permission to be as infamously brutal as they wanted while arresting him.

* * *

11\. The next year, in Central City

"And now, our winners for 'Featuring of the Year' will perform their award-winning song, 'The Faithful' from the album ‘Crisis’," one of the hosts, James Jesse, announced. "Lady's and gentlemen: Supergirl and Barry Allen!"

Iris clapped maybe harder than the rest of the crowd because she was proud of Kara and Barry for not giving in to the pressure of the Karry shippers, who'd basically demanded that they perform a duet of 'Stronger Together' instead of 'The Faithful'.

'Stronger Together', from Supergirl's first album 'Girl of Steel', was hands down her most romantic song. Kara had written it for her and Monel back in the day, but the Karry shippers claimed that the song fit her and Barry better.

Normally Kara wouldn't have won any award tonight because the Darbinyan Music Award exclusively recognized local talents of Central City. But since Barry featured in 'The Faithful', the Karry shippers had started a petition to have the single qualify, and many of Barry's other fans as well as some West-Allen and Iris' own fans had signed the petition too. 

As proven earlier during the ceremony, all those millions of fans had united again to vote the song 'Featuring of the Year'.

The big hitch had been that for the past few weeks, the very vocal Karry shippers had felt entitled to request that Kara and Barry perform 'Strong Together' as a reward for their votes.

Their very unsolicited votes!

Kara had confessed to Iris that she would've gladly been overlooked for that award, not just because she was not a local talent but also because she had a national tour coming up in a few months and she needed rest after her last filming week of 'Graun Bilaik Skai'. There were still two more weeks of filming left for the entire movie, spread over the next three months, but Kara was done with her role. As the only non-actress she was more affected by the crazy filming schedule than everybody else.

Just like Iris, Barry wasn't done filming yet, but he planned on making several appearances during Kara's tour to perform 'The Faithful'. Neither wanted to sing a duet version of 'Stronger Together' because they didn't want to send the wrong message.

The Karry shippers were taking the rumors of a secret romance going on between Kara and Barry way too seriously, so them giving into the demands would basically confirm that there was a real relationship to sing about.

The rumors came from the many tabloids of Barry and Kara taken by photographers who thought themselves sneaky catching the pair during 'secret rendezvous' at various 'romantic resorts'. 

In reality, those were pictures of Barry and Kara going to and from different sets of Linda's movie. Kara had learned to dodge the paparazzi like she was paid for it, so those pictures were all that the press could get from her. The photographers truly just followed Barry because he wasn't as discreet as her, and they'd figured out that they could keep the press and fans away from the movie production by pretending to just randomly hang out. 

As the co-lead actress of Linda's masterpiece and as Linda's best friend, Iris was glad that their plan was working. But as Barry's girlfriend she was quite done with the Karry fans.

Especially because she herself loved 'Stronger Together'. It was a very beautiful song, and she'd been waiting for Barry to sing it _to her._ He did sing other romantic songs whenever they were lucky to have date nights nowadays, but she wanted him to sing 'Stronger Together' because it fit them so well. Did she really need to explicitly ask for it?

She knew that it was silly to want all this extra affection from Barry, who always made her feel loved and cherished. But she couldn't help it.

She missed him, _a lot._ Filming 'On The Mend' and being blacklisted last year had spoiled her because she'd consequently had close to a year of seeing him all the time. But so far this year they were apart whenever they weren't filming 'Graun Bilaik Skai', and there was no staying at hotels and lodges as a big family for this movie. They sometimes didn't even take breaks together! 

Anyways, yes, right now she was glad that he and especially Kara had passed a clear message to the fans. 

And maybe, _maybe_ now that there wouldn't be any more Karry ‘secret rendezvous’ to cover for the movie...West-Allen could make a come back? Then when the movie wrapped up Iris and Barry could finally come out as a real couple. 

Last year, Iris' parents had implored her and Barry to keep their relationship private for a little longer, arguing that they all deserved quiet holidays. Barry wanted to please them so of course he'd agreed that the timing wasn't right.

But after the holidays Barry and Linda had argued about the effect of a public announcement of his relationship with Iris on the secrecy around her movie. Iris' heart had been with Barry, of course she didn't want to hide anymore, but she'd known that after her unexpected pop up in Coast City the paparazzi wouldn't be fooled again. She and Barry would lead the press straight to the set of the movie and that couldn't happen.

Linda's masterpiece was the project they needed to get right for the sake of their careers and of thousands of other entertainers' careers. Keeping things under lid had to be done for the sake of their _new dream._

Of course Iris knew that making her relationship with Barry publicly known would cause more hassle than anything else, but the whole Karry thing had turned her possessive. 

Only a few months to go...

"Here he comes!" Cisco's exclamation on her left brought her back to the present performance. 

Yeah, there came Barry getting the crowd’s rapt attention as he shared the stage with Supergirl. The 'Featuring of the Year' award was of course split in two for 'The Faithful'. Barry deserved the recognition, despite all the whining Iris had about him being famous enough already. She'd almost unfollowed Caitlin on social media for joking that Barry made the rest of them entertainers feel bad with their 'limited range'. Cisco's other best friend truly needed to work on her inferiority complex!

Anyways, the performance. Focus.

Barry was back to being clean shaven since they were filming the fast-forward only. 

Unexpectedly, Iris had trouble keeping her mind out of the gutter now that the sexy beard was gone. Maybe it was because there was no more facial hair distracting her, so now she was always staring at Barry's lips, which in turn fed her constant desire to have them on her body...

"Hmm," she said quietly while she fanned her face. The concert hall was a bit warm, anyways. Yeah.

"Interesting reaction from hearing a song about friendship," Linda teased her, and Iris gently swatted her best friend's left arm.

"What?" Wally asked from Linda's other side, and glanced at them suspiciously when they quickly answered "nothing" at the same time.

And yes, 'The Faithful' was about friendship, so the Karry shippers better hop on their lifeboats before the first teaser of 'Graun Bilaik Skai' came out because Roan killed Lexa in the movie.

"You're with us?" Linda whispered, making Iris pay attention to her boyfriend's performance. It was quite dreamy to hear his voice live on stage. She of course listened to 'The Faithful' on a regular basis, but there was no music video. Having a visual to go along the lovely melody and lyrics added to its potency.

The rest of the award ceremony was great even though Iris didn't know half of the artists performing or giving speeches. The whole afternoon was amazing, actually, plus got the chance to flaunt her best shape ever on the red carpet.

She felt very smug about posing in a dress made by a local designer that Barry had personally contacted to make her a dress that would match his own outfit.

Normally they rented those red carpet outfits—or rather borrowed them for free, but Barry had insisted to pay for Iris' gold dress and she'd gladly let the reporters who'd asked know that it was a gift.

(Those who had eyes could see that the [dress](https://www.promfy.com/champagne-gold-v-neck-long-sleeve-dress-2729.html) went very well with [Barry’s](https://www.aliexpress.com/i/4000207075503.html) bow tie, pocket square and cummerbund. They'd never matched before, not even at the Pipeline Movie Awards at the end of last year. Barry hadn't been nominated for anything, but Iris and Linda had won 'Best Actress' and 'Best Original Screenplay'.)

The Legends of Tomorrow put on an epic show, as always, reviving the big crowd with the closing performance of the Darbinyan Music Awards.

Iris still couldn’t believe that Leonard and Mick had left Lisa all the administrative side of their empire so they could realize their dream of becoming punk rock artists. Hey, they’d always had the look! And who’d helped them recruit the other members of their group? Their own former models, Barry and Laurel Lance.

Sara Lance, Len’s co-lead singer, was Laurel’s sister; Ray Palmer, the bassist often overshadowed by Mick’s guitar, was Felicity’s boyfriend and Barry’s good friend; and the youngest member of the group, the drummer Jefferson 'Jax' Jackson? He was the metal kid from across the street, whose loud music had prevented Iris and Barry from hearing Nora enter the house from the back door all these years ago.

"They're making a mess," Cisco mumbled, and Iris wondered what the big deal was.

The flamboyant performance was the last one on the program. All that was left was for the two hosts to give the closing speech after one more commercial break.

Iris blinked in surprise when the curtains went up again for the last section of the ceremony. The superficial clean up of the stage made sense, but why was there a piano and a standing mic in front of a high chair, each on opposite side of the stage?

Kara walked back to the stage, and the audience's round of applause was stunted by the general confusion.

It looked to Iris that Supergirl was the surprise last performer. Was it okay to give her such honors? The event producer Kyle Nimbus and of course Darbynian himself would get criticized for overlooking the locals just for the view ratings.

What was Kara going to sing? Where was the pianist?

"Barry's still not back," Iris heard Linda mumble just when Supergirl settled at the piano rather than the mic, and she reached for an object on top of the smooth frame...

Glasses?

Before Iris could look at her program again just in case she'd missed something, the vast room got very dark and the three big screens came down.

"Please wear the 3-D glasses located in the pocket under your seat or table," Kara instructed from under her spotlight before she put on her own glasses. "Enjoy."

Everyone rushed to wear their glasses and follow her lead by looking up to the ceiling. 

"Where's Barry?" Iris wondered quietly when _stars in the night_ suddenly appeared above head. In the middle of the afternoon?

Oh, right, the ceiling had screens and all that...and ah, there were even sounds of crickets and other nocturnal creatures.

"Oh," she whispered in awe, as impressed as everybody else when a meteor showered started, lasting ten, twenty, thirty seconds...

Did that sky look familiar? Duh, it was probably a summer footage from right outside the city. Araz Darbinyan was a very proud nature-lover. And this reminded Iris of the project that she and Barry meant to help fund—

"Iris!" Linda called out a bit too loudly.

"Shhh!" She hushed her best friend before whispering "what?"

**Can't say how the days will un-fold...**

Wait...Barry?

  
  


A general gasp echoed all across the concert hall and Iris lowered her head to look back at the stage just as Cisco whisper-yelled "here we go!" and on the other side of Linda Wally cleared his throat.

Kara was still seated in front of the piano, though she’d removed her 3-D glasses. Her hands were poised above the piano keys now, and was Iris tripping or did Supergirl turn around to look in her direction and _wink?_

Speaking of winking...there were _fireflies_ everywhere on the stage, via 3-Dimaginig of course. And among them, under a second spotlight...

Half seated on that high chair in front of that mic stand, was Barry.

He looked almost a decade younger than his twenty seven years old without makeup and with his hair artfully mussed. Untying his bowtie, leaving his tux jacket wide open and popping the first two buttons of his shirt contributed to the illusion that he was his eighteen-year-old self at prom.

Wait, what? Prom?

Yes, it was the right time of the year, But the whole setting looked like... 

_"Remember your birthday gift to me at summer camp? A meteor shower and fireflies! I didn't know where to look! It was magical...I don't know how you're ever going to top that one."_

"Oh my God," Iris whispered, removing her glasses to stare at the man she loved with all her heart.

As if on cue, Kara started playing a beautiful melody, and shortly after Barry sang along:

**Can't say how the days will unfold,**   
**Can't change what the future may hold**   
**But, I want you in it**   
**Every hour, every minute**

Oh God, oh God! Was he about to _propose?_ Right here, right now, in front of...oh God, this event was _live worldwide!_

**This world can race by far too fast**   
**Hard to see while it's all flying past**   
**But, it's clear now,**   
**I am meant to be wherever you are next to me**

Forget “Strong Together”, Iris wanted Barry to sing _this song_ to her everyday!

What was the title? Who was the original singer? Was it Kara's, a piece that hadn't made the cut in the new album?

So far no one except Linda, Wally and Cisco seemed to know what was going on. Iris picked up whispers praising the surprise performance, and yes she heard a few guests yell 'Karry' way in the back. Whatever.

**All I want to do  
Is come running home to you  
Come running home to you**

Oh wow, the song even mentioned running, the common theme of their arm tattoos. Iris had gotten a new UV light tattoo on her arm, and that one said 'Run Back Home' because Barry was constantly out of town.

Iris loved this song even more now. She needed to buy it a.s.a.p.!

**  
And all my life I promise to  
Keep running home to you  
Keep running ho-ome  
To you....**

Iris suspected that it was coming, but when Barry took out the still vaguely familiar small velvet box she froze.

Thankfully Cisco tapped her forearm and ushered her out of the seating row. The stage wasn’t far, but it was dark and—

“Iris West,” Barry called out as he fully stood up from the chair, looking around in her vague direction. 

Ugh, _it was very dark_ , and just when Iris started worrying about tripping over the leftover props of the Legends' performance—that's why Cisco had been complaining!—the lights came back on above head. Barry spotted her right away. She didn't need a spotlight because her champagne gold dress was shiny enough.

As soon as she placed a foot on the stage Barry went down on his knee and opened the box, smiling at her.

Flashes of prismatic light made people "ooh" and made Iris ignore the flashes of phone cameras popping up in her peripheral vision.

(How many angles of this moment would be shared with the world?)

Like the dork he was, Barry had bought her an Iris engagement [ring](https://alessa.jewelry/product/iris-engagement-ring/). She had known that those existed, of course, but the one he got her was just stunning, if a bit over the top: not only was the diamond arrangement mimicking the shaped of a flower, but it truly sparked in the colors of the rainbow. Obviously it was shining more intensely than normal because of the spotlight, and because Barry had probably practiced the best angle to get that light effect.

Iris' breath was taken away as she gazed at the piece of jewelry, her heart beating as fast as the first time she'd seen the ring almost five years ago.

"Will you marry me?" Present Barry asked, and even without the help of the microphone his choir boy’s voice resonated wide and far thanks to the acoustics of the concert hall. Those who couldn’t hear could guess his words anyways.

But Iris stopped caring about the audience, physical and virtual. She zoned into the moment and forced her body to only focus on Barry.

She shook a little bit as she approached him, but she didn't cry. How could she cry? He was smiling, and his adoring eyes were barely misty. When they weren't acting it was actually hard for them not to mirror each other. They were dorks like that.

"Yes!" She answered at normal volume when she stopped right in front of him, extending her left hand towards him when he took the ring out of the box.

Just like she repeatedly trusted him not to hurt her when she allowed him to tie her up, right now she trusted that tying her life to his through marriage was a decision she'd never regret.

_"How could I ever regret asking you to marry me, Iris? I love you! I'm loving you more and more every day, every time I interact with you and marvel anew at what a generous, talented, hard-working—"_

Oh, she should've said yes back then! But better late than never, right? She still impatiently bent over to hold Barry's face in both hands and give him a long kiss before he could stand back up. He simply held her waist and returned the kiss.

The roar of cheers and the thundering round of applause made her startle away from her boyfriend...no, from her _fiancé's_ lips with a little yelp. Barry chuckled fondly, standing back up and pulling her against him.

"WEST-ALLEN!" Linda shouted, standing up like the rest of the five thousand people in attendance.

"Was that dramatic enough?" Barry asked her in a whisper knowing damn well that the answer was yes!

Their engagement was getting a _standing ovation!_

”WEST-ALLEN!” Someone echoed Linda’s cheer...from the stage.

"Kara!" Iris remembered as she got out of her daze, and after dropping a quick kiss on Barry's chin she pulled away from him in order to meet Supergirl halfway across the stage. "Oh my God, Kara! _Thank you!"_

"It was my pleasure!" The singer replied as they hugged tightly. "Is it okay if we bow to the crowd? That was a historical performance, after all."

"Of course, please!" Iris encouraged, stepping aside so she could present Kara and Barry to the audience.

"Ladies and gentlemen, West-Allen and Supergirl," a very deep voice came up on a microphone.

 _Keith Kenyon,_ a.k.a. Goldface, was not just the artist with a fairly high number of DMAs, but he was the event's other host.

James Jesse, the rock singer known under the stage name of ‘Trickster’, followed him by stepping onto the stage. While Barry grabbed his mic, James and Keith walked towards Iris and Kara, now at the center of the stage.

"We left out an important piece of information for this very moment," Jesse told the audience. "For those who don't know, 'Featuring of the Year', 'Comeback of The Year', 'Indi Artist of the Year' and 'Indi Band of the Year' are awards that were created this year. Araz Darbinyan thought of them after he listened to Barry's speech for 'Best Actor' at the MAAs last year. For those who didn't watch the ceremony, Barry implored the jury to acknowledge a greater number of movies through the nominations."

"That's right," Kenyon followed up with a little chuckle. "Mr. Allen called himself a messenger in that speech, but we all know that it was as _a king_ that he told those exclusivists: ‘make room for the highly melanated’!”

He let the crowd clap for Barry before adding with disapproval, "but of course they didn't listen," and Central City had the best crowds because that audience booed the MAA jury right there!

Indeed, that racist jury hadn't listened. Except for Kendra Saunders' ‘Best Actress’ nomination for ‘Wingspan’, the nominees roll had been very white yet again.

And poor Kendra had endured a nasty wave of criticism even though she hadn't showed up to the ceremony. She was constantly reminded that her career was only successful because she was the type of ‘acceptable’ Black women used by racist and colorist producers and directors to meet arbitrary diversity quota while keeping the door closed to dark-skinned Black actresses.

When the nominations had been announced, Iris and Anissa Pierce had been very vocal in their support of Kendra as a fellow actress, but they’d also expressed their concern about ‘highly melanated’ entertainers using the outdated excuse of needing to pay their bills to justify accepting roles of token Black/Brown/Asian/Indigenous characters in very white productions. 

"Araz and the DMA jury listened to Barry and acted accordingly," Goldface reiterated his co-host's point. "So for those whining about Barry and Supergirl 'stealing' the thunder of less known local artists with their award tonight: y'all just calling yourself out for being ignorant haters."

The audience laughed, though not everyone looked sincere. Maybe they'd also thought that Barry and Kara didn't need the recognition. Millions of fans disagreed. 

”But who cares about you?" Kenyon mocked before placing a hand on his chest, decorated by his signature gold chains. "Ladies and gentlemen _give me_ a round of applause for persuading Barry Allen to record the full version of his song! It was no small feat!” 

By the time that loud round of applause quieted down, Iris recovered from the shock that Barry himself had composed that song... _for her._ Of course she new that he was talented and creative, but a whole song? 

“Before we close the event, brought to you live worlwide by our proud sponsors,” James sneaked in a reminder that Iris didn’t need, “tell us a little bit about what makes this song special Barry, other than you wrote it to propose to your long time friend and work partner, of course. Congratulations, you two!”

”Thank you!” Iris and Barry replied as one when he placed his mic between them, then he kept going, “The song is titled ‘Running Home To You’, and is available exclusively on the DMA website. All purchases will go to fund...”

Thank goodness they’d practiced that part the other day, so when Barry smiled at her Iris easily finished his sentence:

“A joint project between the Girl Scouts, Central City's Summer Camp Association and the Children's Hospital...to bring nature to pediatric patients in intensive care, who unfortunately cannot enjoy the outdoors. I'm guessing that the footage of the meteor shower and the fireflies earlier was filmed by the Girl Scouts?"

"Yup," Barry confirmed with a big smile, so Iris followed up with:

"Which means that the project is well under way. The organizers just need extra funding for the 3-D technology that will help them provide this therapeutic entertainment, free of charge, to the young patients. Hopefully we will soon see this service offered in other health care facilities nationwide, and it's at once humbling and comforting to know that the Girl Scouts, young leaders of our nation, are already working on improving the health care system!"

"So thank you for your purchase, and thank you Ramon Industries for providing the 3-D technology used for our demo today," Barry quickly added before the crowd started clapping for the Girl Scouts and Barry. 

"That's my best friend!" Cisco shouted from the audience, making quite a few laugh.

"Now, that’s what we can truly call a 'gold standard',” Keith complimented, making Iris and Barry blush. “Blush all you want, you two, and yes ladies and gentlemen you can clap one more time for the pairing who put our city on _the global map_ of the entertainment industry! They're busy, let me tell you: models, actor, actress, singer...but also activists and philanthropists. West-Allen are superstars who shine in many different colors...just like that diamond ring you have on your finger, Iris. Congratulations."

Iris smiled very professionally while she showed off her ring for the cameras but _screamed inside,_ embarrassed because she was getting way too much attention at the DMAs while she wasn't even a musician!

The crowd quickly forgot about her ring when James Jesse and Keith Kenyon stepped aside to face the main cameras for the closing message as per the light teleprompters. They alternated their lines, James speaking first:

"And if you too are talented and inspirational just like Barry Allen, Supergirl, The Legends of Tomorrow and all the other musical artists who were acknowledged, celebrated and awarded today, our take-home message to you is this: work hard, take risks, stay true to your values as you share your musical talent with the world.”

”And most importantly: _shine in as many colors as possible_. As long as you’re doing you, your lights will not overshadow anyone. You will not eclipse other stars, believe us. The sky is infinite, there is enough room for all of us at the top, and all talents and skills are worthy of recognition. So if you hail from Central City, rest assured that the DMA jury _and the fans_ will keep an eye out for you. I'm Keith Kenyon..."

"And I'm James Jesse. We hope that you've enjoyed the fifteenth edition of the Darbinyan Music Awards, brought to you by the following sponsors. See you next year."

The crowd stood up for a final round of applause, and Iris and Barry remained camera ready even after multiple lights overhead switched off—the stage cameras going offline—while Jesse, Keith and Kara visibly relaxed.

"I guess now is a good time to let you know that I've been a West-Allen fan from the start," Kara admitted bashfully as they went backstage, nodding and smiling at the people congratulating them on the award and engagement. "And, um...I might have just won a huge amount of money...from an old bet on when you two would get married to each other?"

"Not you too!?" Iris and Barry exclaimed, shocked but not angry at all.

Apparently even Barry's cousins had bet on them becoming a couple? They were the only family members that he seemed to have kept contact with.

"I'll spend it on your wedding gift!" Supergirl promised, laughing with glee. "Back then I wanted the money to meet you at a Comic-Con and maybe interview you. I used to be a reporter, but just like Clark I switched careers!"

"Truly?" Iris asked, and noted that Barry didn't look surprised.

"You should've seen the tsunami of questions she sent me when she followed me on Tumblr and I followed her right back," he commented with a little laugh.

"I'd just learned from some crazy trolling post about him that he did choir for ten years!" Kara proudly let Iris know, not detecting Barry tensing up.

Was Kara talking about the West-Alone page? How did those people know about Barry's musical training? They had to be from Central City too, right?

"After fact-checking that piece of info, I exploited my window of opportunity to befriend half of my ship, and look at me now!" Kara flaunted with a wide grin and a little spin.

"I'm looking," Lena Luthor's voice came from the side, and she looked amused at Iris and Barry's surprise to see her there. "And I'm seeing Barry realizing that you inserted yourself so much into their lives that you got paid to make out with his girlfriend in front of cameras."

"Huh?" Both Iris and Barry reacted.

Oh, she was talking about Raven and Lexa!

"Nah, he knows that I only have eyes for you!" Kara countered when Barry's eyebrows skyrocketed because he clearly hadn't realized anything until Lena had spoken. "But yeah, you're one lucky man, Barry Allen."

(And Lena was one lucky woman to be dating Kara! Would they make a public announcement soon, now that it was clear that Karry wasn't romantic?)

"It's Barry West-Allen," he instinctively corrected his friend and DMA co-winner as he squeezed Iris to his chest with fake possessiveness. "Keep your girlfriend away from _my fiancée,_ Luthor."

"Gladly," Lena played along as she grabbed Kara by the waist.

Kara, who gaped at Barry, then asked quietly: "Did I hear your name right?"

"Oops," he said before hiding his face in Iris' hair and laughing quietly.

He sounded _so happy,_ so Iris couldn't help laughing along with him while Kara tried to discreetly freak out about the secret.

(A/N: lots of Arrowverse characters referenced again. I named Supergirl’s albums and singles after the show’s episodes. Took out one line of 'Running Home To You'. Would appreciate feedback on this particular section, please and thank you!)

* * *

12.

It turned out that West-Allen’s monumental comeback was the best thing that could've happened for the filming schedule of ‘Graun Bilaik Skai’: Barry and Iris half-pretended to throw ‘exclusive’ parties and camping trips to celebrate their engagement. They passed on a message on their official Twitter and Instagram pages that, after oversharing their engagement, they now wanted some privacy.

Postponing other projects under the guise of being their friends and fellow entertainers’ VIP guests, all cast and crew members gathered to finish filming Linda’s masterpiece in three weeks of the same month. That extra week was due to the fact that they also did take the time to celebrate the future Mr. and Mrs. West-Allen.

After all that hard work and socializing, Barry and Iris isolated themselves at the penthouse of the Spaceship.

During the last holidays, they’d taken advantages of the building being empty on Christmas and the New Year to stock up the place with non-perishable and frozen foods. They'd also dropped a few bags of personal essentials as well as a small wardrobe, and got furniture to assemble delivered for the vast but mostly empty floor. Then they’d set up their mail to be anonymized and forwarded to the company just for the next two weeks. Once in the building, the mail was set aside to a corner of the incoming mail room and all they had to do was sneak in there at night between the security guards' patrols. Barry had easily obtained all security passcodes and a master card key.

It was great to be the boss, to be the king, especially while standing next to the queen.

Well, right this moment he was rather standing _behind her_ in front of a mirror. The two of them were naked above the waist, and Iris let out the most enticing moan when he sucked on her neck. He could do that now that he’d finished locking up the second rope he’d used to tie a [stardust harness](https://www.theduchy.com/stardust-harness/comment-page-1/#pics) around her torso. And now that he was done with the rope work, he could touch her breasts the way he’d wanted to do in the past twenty minutes.

“Gorgeous,” he whispered in her ear, then gently nibbled on her earlobe just as he started rubbing her already taut nipples. “You look so beautiful in this, baby.”

”I-I feel...umm, Barry!” She replied in between shallow breaths, her hands grabbing his forearms but not stopping his movements. “I feel beautiful in it too, ah, yes babe...but I also f-feel empty.”

Fuck, she’d just reminded him that he was hard as rock under his pajama pants.

With her cooperation, he moved them away from the ceiling-high mirror to the ace size bed*. Including breaks, it had taken them six hours to assemble the stupidly long and wide frame today. They’d simply slept on the indredibly comfortable matching mattress right off the floor last night.

But now that they had railings...

”I need you on your back,” he instructed his fiancée even though he didn't let her go when she placed one knee on the mattress.

He wanted to tie her wrists to the bed frame, but her whimpers made him fondle her breasts some more while he bent forward to kiss her. As always she met him halfway, leaning her head backwards and smiling as their lips touched. Chastely at first, but when Barry rubbed himself against her lower back to relieve some pressure in his groin, Iris licked his lips.

Opening his mouth was a big mistake: he gave up his plan to tie her up when she started sucking on his tongue and grinding against his hard on.

He took one hand away from her chest and slid it down her body, slipping his fingers under her pajama shorts. He moaned against her lips when he found her so wet that those shorts already belonged to the laundry basket. 

Barry gathered a generous amount of wetness and worked her clit intensely from the get go. Iris lost her coordination, panting against his lips instead of kissing him properly. When he got two fingers in her she dropped forward onto the bed, supporting herself with both hands and that one knee on the bed. He leaned forward to keep his ministration going, focusing on her G-spot now that the angle was better for it. When she slightly rocked backwards and squeezed his fingers inside, he slowed down his pumping motion in and out of her pussy, just enough to keep her at the edge of her first orgasm since...two hours ago? Whenever their last break had been. She started whimpering **"please, please..."** in **Russian.**

 **"Please what?"** He asked before dropping kisses to the back of her neck. **"Tell me, darling."**

 **"M-make me come,"** she requested and started rolling her hips in earnest. **"Barry I'm so close, please, please!"**

She did sound and feel very close, whereas he was sure that he could hold off for a moment. When he kissed the skin of her back right next to the knotted rope, an idea came to him.

"Iris, I want to feel you come on my cock," he requested. "No condom, but I won't finish, I'll just—"

 **"Yes, yes,"** she agreed still in **Russian** without letting him share his whole idea.

He didn't waste time when she moved forward. His fingers slipped out of her with an obscene wet sound, and he managed to hook them onto the waistband of her shorts and pull those down her thighs before she fully climbed onto the bed and dropped into...a yoga puppy pose. That was exactly what it looked like.

When Iris widened her stance, she whined a bit because her shorts were in the way. She wiggled around, trying to take them off hands free, but all that did was make Barry feel like he needed an inhaler.

"Hey, let me do it," he told her as he forced his lungs to take in oxygen with control.

He was as efficient as he could while she shuffled impatiently to let him slip the shorts off her legs. The way she moved her ass didn't help. At all.

As soon as he got on the bed too he slipped his dick out of his pants and right into her, and had to grab her by the rope in order to stop her from moving because _holy fuck,_ he'd forgotten how much more intense it was without a condom.

So had she, clearly.

"Oh my God, Barry!" She whined just as she started spasming around him, and thankfully he managed to gently push his balls down with his free hand before reaching the point of no return.

Keeping that hand at the base of his dick just in case, he used the hand gripping the harness on Iris to pull and push—

He choked on air and blinked in shock when Iris moaned into the bed sheets, coming right there after one thrust. _Just one._

Wow.

"Oh, God," he heard her whimper as he slipped out carefully, the loud suction sound that resonated between their bodies making him want to thrust right back into that wet and tight heat. 

But he needed a condom first. If he was counting right, Iris was about to ovulate and they definitely weren't planning on having a child before they could enjoy their married life. They'd barely started looking at invitations cards for the wedding.

"That was embarrassingly fast," Iris commented as she rolled over and flipped sideways on the huge bed. Barry eyed her curiously as he took off his pants and fit a condom on his erect member, ending the action by pulling down on his balls again.

Because the sight that Iris gave him might very well make him come prematurely: she scooted close to the upper edge of the bed, let her right leg hang down while she hooked her left leg over the railing of the headboard. Even before she opened her right thigh, he had an unobstructed view of her wet pussy.

Okay, he didn't mind a little detour...

"No babe, don't kneel," she forbade him when she saw him lick his lips. "Come on, the height is perfect."

Huh?

Oh, right, the bed was quite high on the box spring now, and with her on the bed and him off it, their hips aligned perfectly.

He massaged her hips then thumbed her clit before entering her once again.

"Hmm, b-babe, hurry, I'm close, ah, ah, already", she warned him, so he pressed tighter circles around her clit.

 **"Bear, yes, come on,"** she moaned in **Russian** and made grabby hands, so he grabbed her left leg and wrapped it around his hips before lowering down on his forearms at a slightly weird angle just so she could hug him. 

For a few minutes he managed to focus on their warm embrace and their matching fast breathing. Beyond his own moans and grunts he could hear his heart beating faster than hers, too.

"Love y-you Barry," she then whispered, almost too calmly even though she started shaking and squeezing him tighter. 

"Iris! I love you too," he exhaled a bit too loudly, using a Kegels trick to last a little longer in this good old missionary position.

Was this the most vanilla sex they'd had as adults? It couldn't be true, right? And this wasn't a classic missionary anyways. Everything just seemed tamed ever since those two wild and fun days of sex in Coast City. 

It had been after Barry's physical therapist had given him the green light for 'more physical activities' after his surgery. They'd had those two days before returning to the set of 'Graun Bilaik Skai'. After almost three weeks without sex, they'd wanted to make the most of that time. 

The first day of Barry's full recovery had fallen on the last day of Iris' periods, and she was too self-conscious about spotting to have vaginal sex. So she'd been secretly preparing herself...for anal sex.

Barry had obviously been pleasantly surprised, mostly by how much Iris herself had loved it...to the point that he'd asked if they could switch.

That only happened once because while he'd very much enjoyed the climb to his prostate orgasm, the orgasm itself had been too intense. It had left him so spent that he hadn't had the strength to cuddle with Iris or help her come too when she removed her strap on#. He'd made up for it by making her sit on his face the next day right before breakfast, and for the rest of the day they'd been very creative tying their bodies together to restrict their ranges of motion in various positions for vaginal sex. Reverse cowgirl had definitely been the easiest position to lock themselves in. 

They really shouldn't have been so careless, not just with the bondage but with their not so careful use of condoms. Luckily they hadn't hurt themselves and all of Iris' pregnancy tests had come negative when they'd finished filming. Whenever they reminisced those two days, they blamed it all on the blood transfusion. It had made them horny and craving more fluid exchange.

After an entire month of forced celibacy because they'd been too busy with modeling gigs and the last round of filming Linda's masterpiece, they were on a mini sex-marathon again, but this time they were being responsible.

Barry couldn't tell how he'd lived seven years without making love with Iris. He didn't care to know, the past was the past—not exactly, but whatever for now—and he was blessed with the gift of hearing her chant his name again, and feeling her meet his uncoordinated thrusts with her own, and the tight and hot feel of her was just...he tried to distract himself, biting his lower lip hard while using one hand to play with the rope framing her chest.

But it was counterproductive: Iris moaned louder, squeezed him tighter and gripped his wrist with both hand, maybe in an attempt to ground herself as her back arched off the bed. He couldn't quite watch her face as she came, his own eyes closing as he rolled his hips a few more times, panting hard as he spent into the condom.

Cleanup took a moment. They were getting exhausted, especially after doing that power yoga break while assembling the bed frame. So they decided to take a shower and spend 'quality time' together before dinner. Their entire time here was quality time, really.

When they were done in the bathroom, Barry started the lasagna while Iris changed the bedsheets and cleaned up the mess from assembling the bed frame. They reunited in the living room when he placed the deep dish in the oven. Iris placed newspapers on top of the sofa before suggesting they do each other’s nails using her mani-pedi kit. Barry remembered to play an audiobook on healthy relationships.

They knew that they had a long way to go before they could become the co-independent lovers they wanted to be, so whenever they remembered they took half an hour to clear the air about topics that still made them uncomfortable.

"Anchorage," Iris brought up quietly when the audiobook chapter ended and her gel nail was impeccably done on her toes. She was now painting clear nail polish on his toes.

"I liked our time in Anchorage, beyond the awesome time we had filming," Barry confessed, and he chuckled when Iris did look up from her pedicure work to scowl at him. "Iris, you don't know how...enigmatic you are at times. You don't have a poker face, but you have this permanently dignified, regal air that hides your emotions."

"Thanks for the compliment," she quipped before applying the base coat on the toenails of his other foot.

"So until Anchorage I sometimes couldn't tell if you still had feelings for me," he confessed. "I never doubted your friendship, of course not, but...there was this one interview when someone asked you about Tony, right before we started filming the trailer of 'On The Mend'. The way you smiled when you answered the question made me believe that Tony was it for you. It hurt more than I admitted to myself back then, likely because I never expected you two to last so long."

"Sorry," she whispered guiltily.

"It's okay," he replied softly. "Tony was a terrible boyfriend to you but he's a decent human being? His best wishes to us are clearly insincere, but I appreciate the courtesy."

"He hopes that I’ll forget how his friends blacklisted me," she scoffed before switching on the UV lamp nail dryer and lining up the three gel nail polishes she had, wiggling her fingers as if she was deliberating which one to choose—she always picked the red one for him.

Barry didn't argue that Tony had tried to help her out that year. Iris had avoided social media for a while so at the time she hadn't seen Woodward's posts calling out his so-called friends for stunting her career. Tony eventually took those posts down, maybe because Iris wasn't showing any gratitude, but more likely because he was risking losing big contracts and getting blacklisted himself. But at least he'd tried. Barry wouldn't defend him still, not after the way he'd treated Iris on a personal level.

"Anyways," Barry decided to return to their initial topic of conversation, "I liked Anchorage because your emotions were painted all over your face the night you tried to seduce me," he recalled. "I just had to look in your eyes and reading your thoughts were as easy as back when we were children. I could read your confusion, your frustration, your nostalgia... _your lust_. Jesus, Iris, you couldn't have stroked my ego any harder than with the way you were expressing your thirst for me. I don't even know how I stopped myself after that kiss."

_**"Do you know why I want sex with you in particular? Yes, you know why: we both have a bondage kink."** _

_"But what if I can't stop touching you and kissing you even after Linda says cut?"_

_"The kiss we had last night was consensual, Barry. You didn't use me, at all. I wanted to kiss you too, I wanted to do much more than kiss you. Remember? Did...did it actually help?"_

Just remembering Iris' words that night and the following morning made Barry take a few deep breaths so he could stay in a 'meaningful conversation' mindset.

"I'm glad that you remember Anchorage so fondly," Iris mumbled as she started applying the red nail polish on his toes. "I resented you for siding with Becky, and back then I believed that Kara was the one calling you all the time...so I thought that when you finally broke up with Becky you'd start dating her."

"Oh, that's why the Karry ship irritates you so much," he guessed, blinking in surprise. "And I'll forever be sorry for not believing you about Becky that morning. But Becky was my safe haven, and I think that she stayed with me even after Brian because she was aware that I subconsciously needed her to metaphorically hold my hand until I figured out my love life. The problem was that I wasn't even trying to, I was just waiting for her to move on. In my head I just had to focus on work and the Spaceship and eventually someone would come along. I had years of youth to enjoy being bold and glamorous with you and Linda...and I won't hide it, having Chester back felt great. Did you ask him to forgive me?"

"I told him that we're just 'weird like that'," Iris let him know as she gently pushed his foot under the UV lamp. "Which he seemed very aware of, but he was being stubborn. I'm glad that you two are close again."

Barry sensed a 'but' coming. 

"Anchorage made me realize that you and I _weren’t_ as close as I’d assumed we were," Iris confessed while she painted the toenails of his other foot. "You shouldered so many burdens on your own and...it's like you didn’t tell me anything after 'Gold Standard' because I called you ‘entitled’ that day..."

"Iris, no, baby, don't cry," Barry whispered and used a finger to lift her face so he could look at her eyes.

They were shiny with tears.

"I was just referring to the proposal, Barry," she promised with a little sniff. "I’d admitted th-that we were friends, and after...the ‘Imitating Life’ program I-I thought that we were okay...I’m so sorry for all the times...my words that day made you doubt your self-worth."

"They didn't, because you were right that day," he let her know as he gently pulled her to a fully seated position. "I had no right to spring that proposal on you like that. I acted rashly and did a whole bunch of things without consulting you. I absolutely shouldn't have changed my name, that was a huge mistake back then. I was just so...I wanted to prove to the followers of those West-Alone haters that they were mistaken about me, about us, that West-Allen was real, that our fans weren't crazy for shipping us."

They both chuckled at that, because the West-Allen shippers would never let anyone who ever called them crazy live it down. Barry and Iris had been trending for an entire month now in all social media platforms, and the proposal had made international news. Both Paul and Janet claimed that Barry and Iris were more famous than the British royal family now. Barry highly doubted it, but something had to be said that there were more people claiming to belong to the imaginary West-Allen kingdom than there were people in the U.K. or any other real kingdom.

The West-Allen page had now over _two hundred million followers_ on Instagram. Barry didn't even know what to think about the fact that they were among the top three most followed page on any social media platform. His mind was still too blown by that. And he'd thought that reaching fifty million followers after 'On The Mend' came out on DVD was insane.

"Babe, please don't change subjects," Iris brought them back on track. "I don't want you to carry any resentment—"

"And I don't want you to feel guilty about my stupid decisions," he countered. "Changing my name before even proposing to you was dumb, period. I should've changed my name back on registered deed poll, but I got complacent because I had 'Barry Allen' on the unregistered one. That's the name I was using the most. Voting is done privately, so until I signed the paperwork for the Spaceship I was able to forget about my name change on most days. I thought that you would make me change my name once you saw the paperwork, but you didn't—"

"I didn't read the final draft, I feel so dumb for that," Iris confessed sadly.

"But I'm the one who deep down believed that you didn't mention it because you were too embarrassed to talk about it," Barry explained. "Every time you called me by my old name I thought that you were taking a jab at me, and I tried to hold my ground, except in Anchorage actually. I thought that you were rightly implying that I was as idiotic for being celibate for three years as I had been for changing my name prematurely..."

"And you say that you liked Anchorage," Iris mocked him with an eye roll.

"Oh, Anchorage's great because you also rid me of that lingering crawling feeling that Patty's off-script kiss put in my head," Barry informed her. "There is no way in the world that I would've tolerated Caitlin's accidental flirting without you, especially after the night to day shift change. I fake-smiled my way through that day just fine...anyways. I kept imagining all the negative thoughts you had about me, Iris. I made myself doubt my self-worth, not you. Whether or not you knew about my name change, I should've believed your words every time you said that we were okay. So please, don't feel guilty about this. I love you, Iris."

"I love you too, Barry," she replied right before he took her face in his hands and slid his lips over hers. His kiss went from gentle to demanding when she slipped her hands under his t-shirt. He pulled on her lower lip then licked into her mouth, swallowing her moan and savoring the shiver that coursed through them both while their tongues danced together.

The noise of crinkling newspapers stopped them from going any further. They hugged only for a minute because the oven timer let them know that the food was ready. 

(A/N: Ace size beds are a thing since a few years ago. They're bigger than king size beds but smaller than family-size beds. How is there a market for this? People are so extra.

#If you haven't read it yet, there's a smutty fic about Iris pegging Barry written by softestpink. That's where I got the idea of Barry changing his last name to West-Allen. You're welcome: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17799827)

* * *

13\. A year later

"I can shut it down," Cisco quickly assured them. "Just say the word."

They were at his place, after all, in the basement, after re-watching 'Gon Graun Bilaik Skai' while the rest of the world had watched for the first time online. They were breaking box office records thanks to the anticipation built by dropping three teasers every week of this ending month. Well, technically Linda's masterpiece wasn't out in the box office, it was out on the web. 

Therefore, anyone doing an Instagram live video about West-Allen just ten minutes after the movie ended was certain to get a maximum of attention.

"No, don't," both Iris and Barry forbade him, and they exchanged a look of understanding.

One of those guys had to be behind the West-Alone page. Why hadn't they thought of it before?

"I've got Shawna on standby, girl," Janet let Iris know, and she nodded gratefully at her.

"Barry?" Paul asked, looking like he was just getting out of his daze.

"We won't need lawyers," Barry asserted with confidence.

Iris didn't smile even though she was so proud of him for remaining calm.

She couldn't smile because she was too furious at her exes.

> **[Dave]: Again, spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't watch 'On Earth As In Heaven' which came out three hours ago and ended like...ten minutes ago. I just couldn't remain silent guys. Barry Allen is now one of the most famous people on this planet and he is a creep!**
> 
> **[Tony]: I gave him the benefit of the doubt because Iris dated me despite what I know people say about me, but damn. It's like...do you guys think that Linda ousted him on purpose?**
> 
> **[Jake]: Guys I think we need to reiterate the point for the...maybe two thousand newcomers. Dave? It's your video.**
> 
> **[Dave]: Sure...ahem! For those who just joined us, welcome! The goal of this video is to share our reactions to multiple very disturbing scenes from the brand new movie 'On Earth As In Heaven', written and directed by Linda Park and starring Iris West and Barry Allen among other big shots in Hollywood. For those who don't know, Linda Park is Iris' best friend. As Iris West's exes, we all know her...and we believe that she's using this movie to send an SOS to the world about Barry Allen preying on Iris. She wouldn't be the first one to do so because right here on Instagram, there's a page called West-Alone which has been running for six years now, and its first post preceded the famous commercial 'Gold Standard' which proposed 'West-Allen' on the international scene. That page, spelled W-E-S-T-A-L-O-N-E has been claiming for years that Barry's a creep, that he's been obsessed with Iris forever and that he's done everything to have her. I dated Iris in senior year of high school, and I'm ashamed to say that, though I saw that something wasn't right between Iris and Barry's so-called professional relationship, I didn't say anything.**

It had to be him. Iris was sure about it now. David Gregger was the one who'd written all those disturbing lies about Barry. It made sense, it made so much sense, how had she not seen it—

"Anyone noticing that Gregger's too ready?" Linda commented. "The other two seem genuinely shaken, but he's cruising through this. There's no way that he's reacting live to the movie.

"No one leaked the movie, or I'd know!" Cisco argued.

"Your security system is perfect, man," Barry reassured him. "But it's clear that he started planning this after the second teaser."

Iris had warned Linda and Barry that the clip wasn't the smartest to release, especially since it was misleading:

_"You don't have to do this!" Raven shouted at Roan as his guards seized her. "Cannibalism, really, Roan? Your sorcerers are speaking nonsense! They're not even sorcerers! They're Trikru rejects who ventured outside of mapped territory and found twenty-first century tech—"_

_Roan had placed the blade of his sword right under her chin, and a bloody line emerged from where the very sharp weapon had touched the skin of her neck._

_"I'll cut your head first, so that I won't hear your lies again, demoness!" Roan threatened vehemently. "Your words won't poison my mind the way they did my sorcerers. I'm immune to all forms of magic."_

_"What magic? There's no magic, it's all science!" Raven tried to explain, but Roan didn't even listen. He sheathed his sword and walked towards the pulley controlling her height in the air._

_"Nothing I do is magic, sorcery or—damn it!" Raven cursed out when Roan abruptly lowered her to his eye level._

_He immediately gripped her throat, and Raven yelped but only it surprise before she scowled at her jailor. Roan's hold seemed too loose to_ _asphyxiate her. He actually ran his thumb over her jaw and eventually pressed his digit on her lower lip._

_"Bite me and I'll cut the thumb of every single prisoner polluting the air of my jail, you wench," Roan promised._

_"Don't worry about the air, by the end of the day your jail will be empty," Raven replied as she smirked under his finger. "Lexa na_ _teik osir gonot kom hir."_

_The subtitles translated "Lexa will get us out of here". Roan looked surprised but only for a second._

_"Enes, sha, ba nou yu." He declared sharply as he gripped her throat tighter, making her gasp. "Yu na wan op deyon."_

_He'd said "Everyone else, yeah, but not you. You will die today."_

_"En...en kom fo-lau...ai n-na gyon op," Raven struggled to speak, the subtitles translating her words to "and...and from the a-shes, I w-will rise."_

_Roan abruptly let go of her neck, staring at her in shock while she coughed and gasped in for air._

> **[Dave]: All of you should understand that just like most people, we all got fooled by Barry Allen because he passed for an ally. The Black, POC and LGBTQ communities love him thanks to Iris, Linda, and that rich gay friend of his...**
> 
> **[Tony]: Hartley Rathaway. If you're watching this, man, we mean no disrespect. But Barry's clearly been using you just like he used Iris! How can he be anti-racism when his own mother is the most racist person we three know, huh? I still remember how she looked at Iris and the other kids of color at Carmichael.**
> 
> **[Jake]: We called her the witch, or Medusa!**
> 
> **[Dave]: Hey guys, check this out! Chester Runk is joining us! He stars in the movie and is also in Barry's circle.**

"What the hell, Ches?" Cisco exclaimed.

"It's fine," Iris, Barry and Linda pacified him.

Amongst the hundreds of comments flying by the second, Iris detected a few comments validating Tony's claim that Nora was racist. She and Barry had known that the rumor would spread outside of Central City eventually. It was a miracle that it had taken so long, actually.

> **[Dave]: For those who don't recognize him because of the beard, Chester Runk plays Wells Jaha in the movie. Yo, Chester!**
> 
> **[Chester]: Don't you yo me, Gregger. All three of you are pathetic. You can't even read all the comments calling you losers, can you? Y'all too caught up in your fantasy world. Or did you think that the movie's real? Barry and Iris are war criminals from the future who met for the first time two-hundred and thirty-nine years after a nuclear world war?**
> 
> **[Jake]: Why would Park choose exactly two-hundred and thirty-nine years, huh? With the five years time jump, that's two-hundred and forty-four years, man! That's the current age of our damn country! You've worked with Linda twice now, you starred in 'On The Mend' too. That movie enlightened the whole world about things we didn't know about the Soviet Union. I refuse to think that she didn't sprinkle a hella lot of truth in this one too!**
> 
> **[Tony]: Where's Malcolm when we need him? He's the intellectual one! Oh, he's also Iris' ex.**
> 
> **[Chester]: Y'all being mad disrespectful to Iris gathering around to talk nonsense about her fiancé and by association about herself! Tony, you wished them both well right after their engagement. What the hell, man? One would think that you'd keep a low profile after Karen provided all kinds of receipts about you serial-cheating on Iris back in the day! You have no right to be here spouting nonsense about Barry!**
> 
> **[Tony]: Why the hell not? Allen's the reason why Iris didn't give me the chance to make it up to her! I wouldn't be surprised if she cheated on me with him—emotionally, not physically! He was all over her while I was away winning Central City our first Super Bowl! Everyone here knows that Iris has been attached to that guy since the time he was the shortest kid in the classroom! This whole deal goes way back!**
> 
> **[Dave]: Chill, Tony, you good. Just because you slept with willing women doesn't mean that you can't call out Barry for being a predator.**
> 
> **[Tony]: Exactly!**
> 
> **[Jake]: Listen, Runk, you weren't with us in elementary school, you don't know all the facts!**
> 
> **[Chester]: What facts? Y'all speculating like mad people, no offense to the mentally ill! You're probably all high on weed, and you just finished watching an epic movie that moved you so much that you're freaking out for no reason. Did you not read the disclaimer that _it's a work of fiction?_**
> 
> **[Dave]: The facts are: one, Barry Allen's mother is racist. Do you deny that, Chester?**
> 
> **[Chester]: Well...no. Barry himself told me that his parents are racists.**

Iris saw Barry's jaw tighten, and she felt terrible for Nora and Henry. They deserved to be called out for their prejudice, but still. Being talked about like that by complete strangers...!

> **[Dave]: You're friends with Barry now, Runk, or should I say friends 'again'? You two were friends from middle school to high school, then in senior year you dropped your king of the nerds like a hot potato. I know because I saw you lecture him in the parking lot, then after that day I didn't see you two hang out. In fact, you two became friends again right before you join the cast of 'On The Men', didn't you?**
> 
> **[Chester]: What are you implying here, Gregger?**
> 
> **[Jake]: That you're a sell out!**
> 
> **[Tony]: Allen literally bought your friendship?**
> 
> **[Dave]: Just so you wouldn't ring the alarm, right? You were in the school musical with Iris in senior year. Beauty and the Beast. She played Belle, you played her father Maurice...I feel like your role rubbed on you and you felt protective of her, am I wrong? Because Allen was being a creepy nerd, like all nerds are!**
> 
> **[Jake]: Runk isn't, man, don't alienate him!** **Chester, you call us pathetic, but do you really believe that? Don't just provide lip service for the West-Allen fans or whatever. Don't let your paycheck dictate your actions, bro. Iris' our queen. Not a single Black person in Central City—**
> 
> **[Tony]: Don't make this about race, man! Iris is a wonderful person, period. She's a strong leader who's been standing proud as a queen long before Allen was nicknamed 'king of the nerds'! He stole the prom crown from you, Dave, I didn't forget! I voted for you, man, you know I did.**
> 
> **[Jake]: So did I. Of course the whole team voted for you, but the rest of the school obeyed Iris, who indeed has been a queen since way back. Allen became popular out of nowhere in sophomore year after how many years of staying in his lane with the other nerds? You and Iris were dating just fine, Dave, then that cafeteria incident happened and the next thing we knew you two weren't together anymore and Iris and Janet were promoting Allen, along with his nerd sidekick Cisco Ramon!**
> 
> **[Jake]: Dude...**
> 
> **[Tony]: Hell! Cisco Ramon.**

"What? What about me?" Cisco reacted strongly. "The hell's wrong with these clowns?"

> **[Chester laughs]: Y'all keep on tripping. I'm sure that a lot of your fans want to know the name of your dealer because that's good stuff you're on right now. I'll see myself out.**
> 
> **[Dave]: You wanna dip because we brought up Ramon, Runk? For those who live under a rock, Cisco Ramon's the CEO of biotech giant Ramon Industries. He's a multi-millionaire, maybe a billionaire real soon, a genius in IT and mechanical engineering...and Barry Allen's best friend forever. So if for some reason this video suddenly disconnects and anyone who commented something against Barry gets flagged, you'll know who to thank.**

"I taught this fool how to speak in front of a camera," Janet mumbled. "This is on me."

"Get in line because I'm to blame for letting my best friend date that loser," Linda followed up.

"Are we really playing the blame game here?" Iris reacted, half-annoyed half-amused. "Because I'm the one who _dated him._ "

"I'm the one who knew he was a creep but didn't do anything about it," Barry deadpanned.

"What are you talking ab—" Iris was about to ask when she saw Dave freeze on the screen of the Instagram Live.

She knew it wasn't a technical problem because the others were still moving and noticed his status. 

> **[Chester]: What's up Gregger? Cat got your tongue?**
> 
> **[Tony]: You alright man?**
> 
> **[Dave]:...**
> 
> **[Jake]: Bro, what's on?**

"Guys, check this out!" Cisco called out as he scrolled back up the comment.

It was impressive to see Instagram on such a huge screen. Cisco never did things by half.

> **mlcentr4l:** @CPRunk pass on the baton

"Malcolm," both Iris and Janet recognized the username.

"About time he showed up," Linda commented after chewing on her popcorn. "Who would've thought that I'd end up liking him one day?"

Indeed, Malcolm was on the City Council now, and he'd been doing great things for the community. Everyone knew that the mayor was corrupt, but that didn't prevent the Council members from stepping up to the plate. Iris' dad had let her know when Malcolm had been sworn to serve Ward 12 of the city, and her dad had even joked that Malcolm was his favorite among her boyfriends—a joke Iris could laugh about since Barry wasn't her boyfriend anymore.

> **[Jake]: Hey, Malcolm's online, bro! Like Tony said, he's one of Iris' exes too, and he knows Allen. Another perspective!**
> 
> **[Tony]: Yeah, Lyndale's exactly who we need right now, get out, Runk!**
> 
> **[Chester]: Gladly.**
> 
> **[Jake]: Yo man, don't make Malcolm wait, you know how he's always grumpy with you, ha!**
> 
> **[Tony]: Yeah, who would've thought that you two would agree on anything? That's the power of Iris West: she brings folks together for the right cause.**

Iris was above gagging in reaction to this blatant boot-licking move. Fortunately, Linda and Cisco did it for her.

> **[Jake]: Yo man, move. Lyndale's City Council now, he don't have all day! Hey, Malcolm! The club's complete!**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: What club is that?**
> 
> **[Tony]: Dude, don't answer that. Let's not shame Iris with this. We're here to advocate for her freedom!**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: I'll believe that from you, Woodward. I saw your attempts to get her out of your contacts' blacklist. Kudos for trying, man, I can only imagine the pressure on you.**

"What did he say?" Iris reacted loudly, getting confused looks from Cisco and Paul.

Barry and Linda's silence and turned gazes spoke loudly. She'll get back to them later. It wasn't every day that Malcolm entertained idiots.

> **[Tony]:...appreciate that, man, really. Thanks.**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: Don't thank me yet, because I'm about to call you an idiot for not realizing that your bestie and ex-captain right there is the one who got her blacklisted in the first place.**

Silence dropped both on screen and in Cisco's home cinema. Emojis and exclamation points started getting abused in the comments of the live video.

"Well, go off, Lyndale, go off!" Janet commented. "No offense Barry, but I do regret not picking Malcolm to be prom king. I didn't because he was too condescending to Iris. Didn't want him to overshadow her. Took me a while to realize that _no one_ can overshadow her."

"I didn't pay her to say that!" Iris quipped, hoping to lighten up the mood too.

All except Barry chuckled in reaction to her joke. He had his professional mask on and his eyes hadn't left the screen.

> **[Tony]: That ain't funny, Lyndale.**
> 
> **[Jake]: What the hell, bro! Watch out what you say. You're in politics, your image is just as—**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: I don't hear Gregger defending himself here.**
> 
> **[Tony, Jake, Dave]:...**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: Because you know that I wouldn't make that kind of accusations without proof, don't you, Lion? Oh, wait, you cut your hair! Not the king of the jungle anymore? You realize that you'd never be king, huh? It took you a while to get that in that small and thick skull of yours, Gregger. It took Iris getting engaged to the guy you hate so much for you to slip up, too. That's how I got you, you creep.**
> 
> **[Jake]: What are you on about, Lyndale?**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: Why are you even here Hill? Did Iris even kiss you in freshman year of high school? Don't answer that, idiot. Woodward, you need to fire your agent or something. You've been hanging out with the wrong crowd. That's all I'll say on the matter because I don't have anything solid to back it up...yet. So I'll focus on this Uncle Tom first...**
> 
> **[Tony and Jake]: Dude!**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: For the love of God, shut the hell up, you two. Instagram's watching. I bet that somewhere in Central City Iris' hiding her face for ever dating you. If you ever wondered why she picked Allen over us all, stop challenging your brains because they're clearly not up to the task to figure it out after so many years. I'm glad that they're still intact despite all the tackles, though. Thick skulls.**

"If this guy's page doesn't earn ten thousand followers by the end of the day, my name's not Cisco," Cisco joked.

"I like him," Paul declared with a nod of approval.

> **[Dave]: You think you can just come here and insult us Lyndale? You sure you want the football community on your midnight black ass?**
> 
> **[Tony]: Man, what?**
> 
> **[Jake]: I'm outta here...stay in touch, Tony.**
> 
> **[Tony, in the background]: Wait, you're just gonna leave like that?**
> 
> **[Jake, in the background]: So should you, man. You're over your head with these two.**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: I see that you're still playing the name-calling, Gregger. Of course you are. You've been calling Allen all types of name for six years now. Not making up anything of course.**
> 
> **[Tony]: So you agree, right? Allen's been preying on Iris?**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: Gregger's not making anything up because he's simply _projecting_ his creepy stalker-ish thoughts onto Allen. **
> 
> **[Tony]: Huh?**

That was everyone's reaction at Cisco's place too...except Barry's.

"Babe?" Iris called out to him.

"I told you, but I should've insisted," he whispered while rubbing the back of his neck.

"Shh!" Cisco shushed them.

> **[Malcolm]: Think, Woodward, think. You're not the one who asked your contacts to ban Iris from their circles. So who did? Who in your circle would want to jeopardize her career? Gregger.**
> 
> **[Tony]: Why the hell would he do that? None of us resent Iris for breaking up with us! We resent Allen because he's the one—**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: Allen was her guy before any of us, you said it yourself, this whole deal goes way back. They were inseparable back in elementary school, even during summer camp. The only reason why they couldn't date was that his parents were racists.**
> 
> **[Tony]: Yeah, and he never called them out for that! He's all phony acting like an ally, and he was fine talking about his ancestors being slave owners because no one fucking cares, but he's never been upfront about his parents. Tell me I'm wrong on that!**

"He just had to give the gossip magazines something to sell next week," Paul lamented quietly.

Iris sighed, not surprised by the wave of comments expressing their outrage that Barry wouldn't talk about his parents.

> **[Dave]: Why would he be upfront about that? All white people are racists, those who claim the contrary are just closeted.**
> 
> **[Tony]: What did you just say?**
> 
> **[Dave]: I didn't stutter Woodward. Get the hell out of my crib.**
> 
> **[Tony]:...wow, man.**

"Is this happening live?" Iris dumbly asked as she watched Tony stand up and leave just like Jake. It was just Dave and Malcolm now and she was nervous about this face-off.

"He just ended his own career," Janet announced. "But hey, this is the face-off I've wanted to see all my life!"

"Same!" Linda and Cisco chirped in with glee.

Even Barry was smiling. Iris knew that a lot of their CC High class were getting excited too. Those two were a big source of entertainment back in the day.

> **[Malcolm]: Burning all your white bridges because you know that you won't have any masa to feed you, hmm Uncle Tom? Justice caught up to you, finally.**
> 
> **[Dave]: You talk as if you're not serving under a white man yourself! The government is white, this whole country was built for the white man by our ancestors' free labor! The only way to make it is to get a foot in the big boys' room then open the door for the others!**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: Something that Iris and Barry have been doing beautifully, everyone watching this live knows that. But you're too blinded by revenge to see.**
> 
> **[Dave]: My eyes been wide open since high school, Lyndale! You, Jake, Janet and every Black kid at CC High didn't see that pale ass nerd creep up on Iris! Now he's gonna marry her! We all call her queen but what have we done for her, huh? When Allen's witch of a mother did God's work by taking him away from her, who became Iris' best friend? Park! Iris' best friend is Asian! Oh, and I heard that Park's gonna be her in-law, too! The West family is diluting the blood—**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: Don't deflect by making this about race, Gregger. Racism is a problem in America, but race isn't because there's only one race. If you're concerned about the survival of _Black ethnic_ groups, rest assured that only a minority of Blacks in the diaspora and even less in Africa are marrying 'outside'. But you don't even care about that. You only care about Iris and the fact that she chose Allen over you. See, Allen, me and you wanted to be king, but none of us players of the long game were king material. In fact Iris ** **wasn't queen material either.**

"Yo, is he with us or what?" Cisco complained.

> **[Malcolm]: I still wonder who nicknamed Allen king of the nerds because they got that wrong. Ramon was and remains the real king of the nerds. And Janet was the real queen of CC High.**

"Never mind, then!" Cisco exclaimed while Janet quipped "He's clearly with us," making everyone else laugh.

> **[Malcolm]: The thing is, there were four aces among the nerds of CC High, and only Barry was visible. The rest of us played it safe on the outside, but really we bet a lot by faking it.**
> 
> **[Dave]: The hell you trippin' about, Lyndale?**
> 
> **[Malcolm]: Don't play coy or dumb Gregger. You, me and Iris were the nerds who didn't want the stigma because we were already Black. Only Runk owned to his nerd identity. You, I and Janet wanted to make history just like the school's motto says. But in the end Iris and Allen did it. Two nerd aces doing their thing ended up queen and king. I gotta disclaim that I don't believe that Iris actually tried to hide her identity as a nerd. She was rather trying hard not to be coined a teacher's pet. She would change the answers on her homework right before class to make sure she got a few wrong answers. A constant GPA of three point five over four years, how did the teachers not catch that? And she joined the cheerleaders to be an athlete even though she hated sweating so much. Messed up her hair.**

"He knows that he's live, right?" Iris grumbled.

"He don't have to tell your secrets like that!" Janet complained too.

> **[Malcolm]: But neither Iris or I took it out on the nerds when we became popular kids. You did. Not surprising, you've been a self-hating light-skinned boy from the start. And you don't hate Barry because he white. Yeah you're prejudiced, but you had it for Allen in particular because he did things better than you while proudly wearing his nerd status. Iris played it safe with literature, I stuck to Black History, but you dabbled in everything thinking that being a football player would be good enough of a cover. Allen also dabbled in everything and he got popular for it. He did it all on his own because he's got talent plus that white privilege going on for him. He's used it very well, so good for him. But you needed Janet to get the swag and attitude of a cool kid so you could join the football team. You earned the status captain eventually, but again because Janet advocated for you. If you were that good you'd be as famous as Tony, but you're not. He outshines you now the way Allen outshined you then. I'm sure that you're the one who encouraged Woodward to sleep around just like you so that Iris would eventually dump him. Not that Iris would've stayed with him anyways, we all know that Allen never stopped being her favorite person. That's why I bowed down in high school, however embarrassingly. But you got stubborn, and for the life of me I didn't understand why you didn't retaliate when Allen ridiculed you at the cafeteria, or when he got the crown you wanted so badly. He didn't do that because he wanted to make history, he just wanted to reconcile with Iris. I got no idea what happened to them at the beginning of senior year but it looked like a big fight.**
> 
> **[Dave]: They fucking broke up, is what happened.**

"Holy shit!" Cisco and Linda exclaimed.

Iris and Barry weren't surprised since they'd figured out that Dave was behind the West-Alone page...which had posted about the Thompson's history with slavery before Barry talked about it.

He was the one who'd sent Iris that fan mail all those years ago...because he'd seen Iris and Barry kiss on her birthday, right? Dave had texted Iris to offer her help to clean up after her birthday party, but she'd decline. Clearly he'd come back anyways and had seen Iris and Barry from outside. Then he'd tried to scare Iris with Barry's family history.

How had she not connected that false fan to the creator of the West-Alone page? They had the same rhetoric!

"Back to work," Paul sighed as he picked up his phone and stood to leave the den.

"See? If this had come out two years ago when I didn't know, it would've been all people would talk about for the next month instead of the movie!" Janet told Iris right before following Paul back upstairs to pass a few phone calls.

Only then did Iris look back at the screen at her two high school exes. She'd missed a whole minute of their conversation.

> **[Malcolm]: You're a worse creep than I thought you were, Gregger. You ousted yourself live in front of...eleven thousand people. Well done. Oh, and before I leave: congratulations, Iris and Barry. That proposal was as dramatic as a proposal could go, and you pulled it off with class. But I didn't help you two out today for free: my nieces are Girl Scouts and my wonderful girlfriend works for the Children's Hospital. They say thank you for the 3-D tech guys, the kids love it and it does help them recover faster. Keep up the good work.**

"Ah, so that's why he joined the circus," Linda concluded when David ended the Instagram Live video. "Well, well. Thanks for the free entertainment and free promo. How rich are we so far, Ramon?" She asked before eating more popcorn.

"Let me see," Cisco replied as he grabbed his tablet and tapped on it for a minute. "Yeah, baby! Fifty million on the first three hours of the premiere! We'll make stupid profit on this. Team Flash's opening real soon!"

"Are we sure about the name?" Iris asked. "It's a film production studio, not a track team!"

"I like it," Barry admitted.

"So does Wally," Linda informed them with an eye roll. "It's gotta be a nerd thing."

"Or a speed thing," Barry defended. "I like running, Wally's a former racer, and Cisco is always trying to break records."

" _And_ a nerd thing," Linda insisted. "Iris' got a lightning bolt tattooed on her side."

"Oh," Barry and Cisco reacted to Iris' own confusion.

"So? What does that have to do with...oh, right, the lightning bolt is the symbol for 'flash'. But I was thinking of the expression 'fast as lightning' because Barry runs so fast."

"Hey Barry, I gotta go talk to someone at Gossip real quick!" Paul spoke up after poking his head through the door. "Be back in a jiffy."

"You mean 'be back in a flash'?" Barry corrected him, but Paul had already darted away.

"You're such a dork!" Iris pointed out before bursting in laughter.

"The dork you're marrying next week," Linda reminded her. "Are you sure you don't want me to film it? You're letting Dig officiate and Kara sing your song! I want to contribute too!"

"You're the maid of honor, goof," Cisco reminded her. "Thanks for choosing me over Oliver, bro."

"After he and Felicity stole West-Allen thunder at the engagement party, that decision was more than justified," Linda commented. "I'm glad that Dig offered to marry them the next day. I'll still watch out for them on you two's big day...so yeah, I better not be the one filming the ceremony."

"What I was trying to say is that I know I don't fully deserve the honors," Cisco argued.

"Of course you do," Iris and Barry objected, and Barry continued. "Remember that you're the one who got me into the 'Imitating Life' program..."

"...and we might not have stayed close without it," Iris finished his thought as she dropped over Barry's lap. "Waltz, salsa or bachata for our first dance?"

"You guys need to decide this tonight," Cisco chided them as he stood up. "Like, _right now!_ Don't sabotage my best man's duty. Come on Park, let's give them five minutes..."

"That's not long enough for what they're gonna do as soon as we leave," Linda joked, cackling when Iris and Barry shouted "Linda!"

The two of them rolled their eyes when she winked before leaving the room. Then Iris, who'd sat up to glare at her best friend and future niece-in-law, scooted closer to Barry on the double cinema seat. He opened his arm to let her lean over his chest.

"I can't wait to become Mrs. West-Allen, Mr. West-Allen," she whispered as she extended her left hand to gaze at her beautiful engagement ring.

She still thought that it was a bit over the top, but that was okay.

"I can't wait either," Barry admitted before leaning over to drop a soft kiss on her lips.

They were definitely not going to do what Linda thought they were going to do!

"We're actually picking 'You're My First, My Last, My Everything,' right?" He asked, smiling big when she nodded enthusiastically. "Good. Your dad was sulking because you borrowed Charz' veil instead of Francine's, so that should appease him."

"I don't even care about tradition," Iris pointed out. "It's a coincidence that Charz' veil goes well with my dress and that my shoes are blue. I mean, I don't have anything old to wear!"

"Actually," Barry whispered, looking sheepish when she perked up and stared. "I didn't want to offend you..."

"Speak now or forever hold your peace, Mr. West-Allen," Iris joked, though she was intrigued.

She blinked in surprise when Barry held her left hand and rubbed his thumb over the diamond ring.

"I told you that one of my great-grandparents' Asian, right?" He started, his voice soft.

She nodded, not wanting to interrupt him by speaking up.

"Henry...my dad doesn't know much about her, his grandmother," Barry let her know. "He stopped looking after he met my mom, though there wasn't much to find since I didn't find anything new either. But...the day I found his DNA test, I also found a jewelry box. Inside was a diamond set: a bracelet, earrings and a necklace. My dad never dared gift them to his wife, likely because he didn't want her to ask questions about where an orphan like him got those. The cut definitely identify them as east Asian. It's vague, but back in the day everyone was imitating Chinese jewelers in that corner of the world, or at least that's what us westerners are taught, so the jewelry appraiser couldn't be more specific than that."

"Barry," Iris whispered, touched but also confused. "Why did you think that I would be offended by that? The story behind the diamonds on this ring is something to be celebrated! Your great-grandmother came west from Asia—"

"I don't know who she was, but the fact that she had those will never cease to make me feel uneasy," Barry confessed. "Was the jewelry her bride price? I can't fool myself to think that she had wealth of her own. But the fact that she was that rich but is so hard to identify...I don't know. It just sounds fishy that my grandfather just left those diamonds to my dad in some bank vault without an explanation other than it belonged to his mother. But I'm also proud of them being a material proof of my Asian heritage. When I see them shine on your finger they remind me that we being famous because we're an interracial pair is ironic, because humans have been mixing since the beginning of time. The fact that you and I have the same blood type proves it, but no one cares about that. They want to focus on what makes us different: skin color, hair type or language...but we West-Allen, we're about celebrating what unites us, right?"

"Love," Iris started as she kissed him once, "creativity," she added as she kissed him a second time.

"Being nerds," he joked as he initiated their third kiss, which they exchanged while laughing, "oh, and multilingualism..."

"I knew it!" Linda exclaimed when she and Cisco returned, catching Iris and Barry in a compromising position.

Oh, well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your support and patience with this fic! All comments and kudos are deeply appreciated!
> 
> I'm going through some rough patch in real life but hopefully I'll be okay. I've started reading and writing fanfics again and it helps. Thank you for all your thoughtful comments. If I haven't yet replied to them I'll do it shortly.
> 
> I hope that this fic found you well or on your way to feeling better. Take good care and stay safe 💜
> 
> **NOJUSTICEFORBREONNANOPEACEFORHERKILLERS**
> 
>   
> About Nora: of all the chapters I needed to re-read because I lost my outline, Chapter 9 was a very painful one because I realized just how terrible I've written her. She's more than racist, she's a white supremacist 😱 (not all of them are triple K or neo-nazis!) So yeah, no redemption for Nora. It's okay to cut off family, my friends. If they're toxic you need to let them go!
> 
> The trailer of TF s7 is all s6 leftover 😩 Let Iris be great and Barry regain his speed ASAP! Mr. Wallace I'm counting on you!


End file.
